To Get a Dirty Job Done (The Redheaded Woman Remix)
DCU; Dick/Steph; adult; 1,880 words
Dick and Steph go undercover at a masked ball and things get a little hot and heavy.

Remix of Redheads Have More Fun by amathela. Title from Springsteen. Pre-reboot. Thanks to Nichole & Laura for turning it around so quickly. Or read it at AO3.

( It takes a redheaded woman / To get a dirty job doneCollapse )

~*~

Feedback is always appreciated.

~*~

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If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (The Alien Clone Hybrid Trance Mix)
DCU; Tim/Kon; adult; contains: light bondage; 1,600 words
Even drifting in and out of sleep, Kon keeps an ear out for his teammates, and for Tim in particular.

Remix of Hold Me by Teaotter. Pre-reboot. Title from The Cure. Thanks to snacky for looking it over. Or read it at AO3.

( If Only Tonight We Could SleepCollapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

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There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (The Pleasure, The Privilege Is Mine)
Captain America; Steve/Bucky; g; 1,650 words
Steve reluctantly attends Tony's New Year's Eve party, but is glad he did when Natasha brings him a gift.

Remix of There's a light (at the end of this tunnel) by seratonation. Thanks to laurificus for looking it over. Title from the Smiths. This is set after Age of Ultron but ignores rumors about Civil War. Or read it at AO3.

( Take me out tonight / Because I want to see people and / I want to see lifeCollapse )

~*~

Feedback is always welcome.

~*~

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I posted birthday fic for Steve yesterday:

I want to take a breath that's true (at AO3)
Captain America; Steve/Bucky; g; 2,225 words
In which Steve and Bucky have breakfast in Central Park and hash out some stuff.

And reena_jenkins posted podfic of "This Carnival Life", which is the Steve/Bucky birthday story I wrote in 2012!

And remix reveals are up, so here are the three I wrote:

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (The Pleasure, The Privilege Is Mine)
Captain America; Steve/Bucky; g; 1,650 words
Steve reluctantly attends Tony's New Year's Eve party, but is glad he did when Natasha brings him a gift.
Remix of There's a light (at the end of this tunnel) by seratonation.

This was my original assignment, and my remix technique, if you want to call it that, was to take an AU and make it canon-compliant instead. Which is a perfectly valid remix strategy, though one that usually goes in the opposite direction (i.e., making something an AU of some sort). Once I realized I could do that, the story basically wrote itself. (The first thing I came up with was terrible and I wanted to shoot myself in the face while writing it, so this was a much happier experience for me. And I like how it turned out, too.) I figured the title would give me away, or at least Thor's cameo, because I love writing Thor showing up, saying awesome things, and then departing like the swank prince of Asgard that he is.

This is going to either sound like whining or bragging, and it's not intended to be anything except an example of how weird remix is in terms of feedback, but this story, after a week of being public, has the following box score: Comments: 3 Kudos: 19 Hits: 103. It's the hits here that really fascinate me, because that seems more in line with the days prior to CATWS, when it was me and like eight other people dedicated to writing the pairing. Compare it to a story I posted at 2 pm yesterday: Comments: 14 Kudos: 216 Bookmarks: 25 Hits: 1062. Ten times more hits and kudos! Almost five times more comments! (though comments are so ridiculously rare these days I almost feel like those numbers say nothing.)

But remix has always been this way. Several years in a row while I was still modding it, I made a post in the middle of the anonymous week reminding people that remix is a low feedback ficathon, and except for the handful of stories that break out and get recced, it remains the case this year as well. I don't know why. I've never known why - is it the remix concept? The anonymity? The lack of recs? Or is it just the weird nature of feedback in general? I don't think I'll ever know the answer, but I think about the question a lot during remix.

And the other two stories I wrote, both last minute pinch hits:

If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (The Alien Clone Hybrid Trance Mix)
DCU; Tim/Kon; adult; contains: light bondage; 1,600 words
Even drifting in and out of sleep, Kon keeps an ear out for his teammates, and for Tim in particular.
Remix of Hold Me by Teaotter.

I thought this one was obviously me too, just going by the title. Writing this sent me on a Tim/Kon rereading spiral. I still don't understand why DC didn't make them canon. I still have the desire for ALL the Tim/Kon trope fic, though more the desire to have written it than the drive to actually write any of it. Sigh. #otp: you'll always be my robin

To Get a Dirty Job Done (The Redheaded Woman Remix)
DCU; Dick/Steph; adult; 1,880 words
Dick and Steph go undercover at a masked ball and things get a little hot and heavy.
Remix of Redheads Have More Fun by amathela.

This was written at literally the last moment possible, and mostly because there should be more Dick/Steph in the world. And also a so obviously me title. Because titles are hard, so when you find a method that works, stick with it.

I will likely post them all to DW/LJ for archiving purposes in the next few days.

***

I went for a pedicure this afternoon - last time I got Essie's Hide and Go Chic, which I really liked, but I couldn't find it again, so I chose Essie's Spun in Luxe, which looks like a shimmery midnight blue in the bottle and mostly looks black on, which is kind of a disappointment. (if I wanted black, I'd have chosen black!) Oh well, I'll know better next time.

I spent yesterday watching 1776 which was awesome as always, and Yankee Doodle Dandy, which I hadn't seen since I was a kid and which I can't really recommend. I mean, the songs are iconic, but mostly I just got tired while I was watching it. Cagney gives a tour de force performance, though, as much as I found the character irritating.

***

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Remix Madness is live!

There were three (THREE!) stories for me in the archive:

= Like thoughts inside a dream, which takes a few lines in my story, swim in my blood when it's warm and spins them into a sad, creepy Jess POV of Sam and his possible feelings for Dean.

= An Ordinary Exile (Two Stories Remix), a darling Erik POV of my old Charles/Erik ficlet Too Long in Exile.

= Westward Wandering Tramp (The Rome Has Fallen Remix), which is a remix of my BtVS/HP crossover Older and Far Away from Xander's POV that gets his voice just right.

Thank you all so much!

***

Reported for jury duty this morning. Thankfully there's a coffee cart outside the jury pool waiting room, because I didn't have time to stop for any, and I would not have done well without it. Too bad it was hot only. And I ate the saddest excuse for a bagel it's ever been my misfortune to consume. Tomorrow, I don't have to be there until 10:30, so I'll have time to eat at home and get coffee first.

I was also able to get myself let out of one particular trial that they said was scheduled for 6 to 8 weeks. WTF? THAT IS THE WHOLE SUMMER. Now I just have to get through tomorrow and then I should be done for another 7 years.

***

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Remix is live!

My remixer tackled my little Steve/Peggy ficlet A Sight for Sore Eyes and turned it into A Sight for Sore Eyes (The Eye of the Storm Remix), which focuses on Peggy being a highly competent operative who gets the job done and steals moments with Steve when she can. <333

I have three remixes in the collection, all completely obviously by me, and shockingly, I have already heard from all three of my remixees! This is unprecedented but welcome!

I have to report for jury duty tomorrow, so I'm loading my iPad with books. Hopefully I don't get selected to sit on a jury.

Now, I think it's time for bed.

***

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I wrote a story yesterday!

know your devils and your deeds (at AO3)
Avengers; Steve/Natasha (Natasha/Bruce, Steve/Peggy, Steve/Bucky); pg; 1730 words
Natasha's gotten used to living with the choices she makes.

It contains spoilers for Age of Ultron.

I got my period yesterday, after skipping the whole month of April (and of course I was wearing a cute new dress; luckily I was somewhat prepared), and then I was able to sit down and write 1700 words in like 2 hours. And I like how it turned out - the conversations Steve and Natasha have aren't what I expected, except for the last one, which was kind of the whole point of the story, so I was interested in how they worked out. I'm glad other people liked it too! <3

I also managed to add some words to mousapelli's birthday story, though I'm still figuring out how to get to the kissing. Stupid boys.

Also, last night I slept really well after days of terrible, choppy sleep even after taking benadryl.

Of course, last night I also had an excellent dinner - I met up with L. and her friend N., who was in town for work, at Hillstone (fka Houston's) for a beautiful prime rib dinner and some lively conversation.

This makes two times now that I've gone out instead of watching and the Rangers have lost. I'm going to have to plant my butt on the couch for the next three games. What? It worked on Saturday.

*

Teevee, in brief:

Brooklyn Nine Nine
( spoilersCollapse )

The Good Wife
( spoilersCollapse )

Jane the Virgin
( spoilersCollapse )

*

Signups for Remix Redux 12: The Dirty Dozen are open. Sign up! You know you want to!

*

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Remix reveals! Okay, not as fun for me because I already know who wrote everything, but still fun!

Here are the remixes of my stories, with author names on!

In the main remix collection there was:

Another Country (What Sustains Us Remix) by Cinaed
The Avengers (Marvel Movies); Bucky/Natasha; pg; 3362 words
He feels like an impostor a little more each time Steve calls him Bucky, because he doesn’t have a right to that name, not really. Bucky’s the name of a man who died seventy years ago, a stupid kid from Brooklyn who followed not Captain America but Steve Rogers into hell and never came out again.

And then two stories in Remix Madness:

7A WF 83429 (the For A Good Time Call remix) by openhearts
Avengers; adult; Darcy/Steve Rogers; content notes: Mildly Dubious Consent; 4372 words
Being Captain America's plus one sounded infinitely more awesome in theory than it turned out to be in practice.

Three Body Problem (the amazing grace remix) by Sholio
Captain America (Movies); pg; Steve/Bucky/Peggy; 3031 words
They both owe her a dance.

Thank you again! <333

And I wrote:

Underneath the Armor (The Luscious Jackson Reunion Remix)
Batgirl (Comics); Steph/Dick; pg; 2,955 words
Four times Dick hugged Steph and one time it turned into something more.
Remix of Heavily Armoured by amathela.

Interpersonal Hygiene (The Get Fresh Flow Mix)
Life (TV); Crews/Reese; pg; 1350 words
This time when Crews ends up in the shower with Dani, it's by her own choice.
Remix of Interpersonal Hygiene by amathela</a>

I started both because I wasn't sure what was going to click, and then the Dick/Steph got finished first, so I uploaded it, but I didn't want to lose the small amount of words I've been able to write over the last 6 weeks, so I finished the Reese/Crews as well. *hands*

Interestingly, I turned a brief ficlet into a 5 things story for the first one, and turned a 5 things story into the story of one of the times in the second. Or maybe it's not interesting. I don't know. *hands*

*

Last night, after the Rangers' excellent victory in Montreal, L. and I went out for happy hour (there was a street fair on my block, which meant I couldn't get a cab to take all these bags of clothes to Housing Works, so maybe I'll do that next weekend? at least they're out of the closet/dresser), and then I came home and watched Orphan Black.

( spoilersCollapse )

I still need an icon. Why do I never remember that?

I didn't sleep well last night and then I was up at 6 am, so I just had a really lovely nap. Earlier, I had an hour-long massage, which was great. So it's been a nice lazy Sunday, for all that the Sunday night willies are going to settle in soon enough.

*

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I hope everyone celebrating Mother's Day had a good one.

My day was emotional - there was some crying on occasion (not least of which after the Rangers won and they interviewed Martin St. Louis, who played even though his mother died three days ago; you would think they would leave the guy in peace. I don't know how he didn't break down there, or the other night when they interviewed him. I cried both times and it's been almost nine months since my mother died, not three days) - but I planned to do something nice for myself, which was go for a hair cut, which also ended up including getting my gray covered and cutting out/covering all the old highlights, plus a shea butter treatment. In the middle of it, L. showed up with iced coffee to have her hair done too, which was a nice surprise, since I'd asked if she was going to be around/available this weekend, since it was my first full weekend home in nine months (except for that weekend I was sick and snowed in in January), and she said she was going to still be out of town on business. But it turns out she got back yesterday, so she was able to join me and after getting our hair done, we went to the place with the excellent wheat beer, and they were having a brunch (I love that brunch goes until 4:30 *snerk*) special on Schofferhofer grapefruit beer, which was EXCELLENT. A++ WOULD DRINK AGAIN.

Then I went grocery shopping and put a pork shoulder in the oven so I'll have lunch for the week, and then I watched the game (so I am yet again behind on The Good Wife. At some point I will have seen it all and will talk about it), which was also emotional.

Also, newredshoes shared this link: The Unmothered, which I found really on point today. I also face-timed with my dad, which was nice.

And then Remix opened, and there were THREE lovely stories in the archive for me!

First in Remix proper:

Another Country (What Sustains Us Remix) (3362 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Thor (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Remix, POV Male Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Het, Guilt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Summary: He feels like an impostor a little more each time Steve calls him Bucky, because he doesn’t have a right to that name, not really. Bucky’s the name of a man who died seventy years ago, a stupid kid from Brooklyn who followed not Captain America but Steve Rogers into hell and never came out again. </p>

Everything we love fails...
if by fails we mean ends or changes,
if by love we mean what sustains us.

A lovely, melancholy Bucky POV on his past relationship with Natasha.

And then two stories in Remix Madness:

7A WF 83429 (the For A Good Time Call remix) (4372 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers
Characters: Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster (Marvel), Natasha Romanova, Phil Coulson, Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Mildly Dubious Consent
Summary: Being Captain America’s plus one sounded infinitely more awesome in theory than it turned out to be in practice.</p>

Darcy has a much more painful experience before Steve can relieve her.

Three Body Problem (the amazing grace remix) (3031 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Characters: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes
Additional Tags: Remix, Threesome - F/M/M, Alzheimer's Disease
Summary: They both owe her a dance.</p>

Oh, Peggy. *sobs* At least she finally got her dance with both her boys. *sniffle*

Thank you lovely remix authors! I'm so happy you found something interesting in my stuff to remix! <333

And I wrote two remixes this year (a slow year!), which you might guess if you stumble upon them. Both are het, both are in fandoms I've written before. To say more would be to say too much. *g*

Now, bed, I think.

***

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Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough)
Captain America (2011); Steve/Bucky; g; 4,880 words
Steve is sure the guy working the morning rush at Starbucks is Bucky. Unfortunately, the guy doesn't seem to know that.

Remix of this snippet by angelgazing. Title and cut-text from "Human Remains" by Tom McRae.

( I recognize / so much of you in these eyes / always so blue / why always so blue?Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is always appreciated

~*~

So this was my actually assigned remix and the first one I wrote. I was looking at angelgazing's O11 stories and she said to me (since, as a mod, she knew I was remixing her), no, you are remixing the barista!Bucky snippet. *hands* So, uh, that is what I did. Once again, I expanded what was basically a snippet into a full on story. It's a tried and true remix technique.

( blather about the story that talks about possible plot points for a sequelCollapse )

Anyhow, I really like how it turned out and so did angelgazing, and it's making me want to write a sequel, something I haven't really done much of since the XMM days, so I consider it a success.

And that was remix 2012 for me. If you ever have any questions about writing remixes, or these remixes in particular, or any of my stories in general, feel free to ask. Obviously, I love talking about them.

***

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Objects in the Mirror May Be Closer Than They Appear (The Didn't See That Coming Dance Mix)
Push (2009); Nick/Cassie; adult; content notes: implied torture and medical experimentation; 5500 words
Five times Nick surprised Cassie.

Remix of Blind Spot by medie. Thanks so much to devildoll for betaing.

( Objects in the Mirror May Be Closer Than They Appear (The Didn't See That Coming Dance Mix)Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

This was the second pinch hit I finished - I knew, once I picked it up, that I would remix one of medie's Push stories, it was just a question of deciding which of the two to tackle. "Blind Spot" seemed to have the most room for expansion, and it was an idea I hadn't really considered before, that watchers might get blocked by strong emotions or be unable to see the future of the people they cared most about. I also just really like the idea that no matter how good Cassie gets at seeing and interpreting her visions, Nick is still going to be an anomaly some of the time, because he's really good at not making a decision until the last minute, and at planning ways around having to make a decision before that - for all that he's kind of a loser when we meet him, it's a good skill to have when going up against people who can see your every move coming if you make plans ahead of time. I thought that explanation for how the future works, and how clairvoyance works, was really clever, and it's fun to play with ways around it.

Anyway. I knew it would be a five things story, five times Nick surprised Cassie, culminating in the consummation of the relationship. At first I thought about writing from Nick's pov, but I realized that wasn't really going to work, for a variety of reasons. I had the title and subtitle before I even started writing, and a vague idea of the surprises, though I wasn't expecting it to be as long as it turned out. It just kept going. I enjoyed writing it a lot, which maybe you can tell, but I was like, THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE. I HAVE ANOTHER PINCH HIT TO WRITE. I'm really pleased with it, though, and medie seemed to like it, too, so that worked out.

~*~

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Nothing But the Rain (The Quit Your Grinning and Drop Your Linen Overdub)
Captain America (2011); Steve/Bucky; adult; 1,905 words
We have to get out of these wet clothes.

Remix of Bring your hips to me by zeen. Thanks to angelgazing for looking it over.

( Nothing But the Rain (The Quit Your Grinning and Drop Your Linen Overdub)Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

This was the last remix I wrote this year, and I admit, if the matching had worked out differently, this might have been my actual assignment, so when the pinch hit came up, I grabbed it. Again, it's expanding on a ficlet, but this time in a not-quite five things format (okay, four things! four is not-quite-five), taking the original premise of Steve and Bucky making out during a rainstorm, and contextualizing it in their relationship over the years. The subtitle was almost "Grab Your Gun and Bring in the Cat," because of course, but then "Quit Your Grinning and Drop Your Linen" seemed more appropriate, or at least amusing. I knew I wanted to show the first time as well as something during the war and then something in the present/future, and "let's get out of these wet clothes" is one of my favorite tropes, so it seemed wise to just go with that in the short turnaround time. Again, fairly straightforward and fairly obviously mine. I've never been good at anonymity. *hands* I liked it, though, and luckily, I think my remixee did too. I like it when that happens.

***

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Toward those isles of yours that wait for me (the sand in your shoes remix)
The Iliad; Achilles/Patroclus; adult; 1,339 words
"The great Achilles, best of the Achaeans, undone by sand in his armor."

Remix of Something Better by oultrepreu. Title from "If You Forget Me" by Pablo Neruda. Thanks to mousapelli for looking it over.

( everything carries me to you, / as if everything that exists, / aromas, light, metals, / were little boats / that sail / toward those isles of yours that wait for me.Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is always welcome.

~*~

So this was technically the second pinch hit I picked up, but the first turned out to be unnecessary, which, thank god, because I ran into the brick wall that was writing in Bruce Wayne's POV (about his parents of all things; they're dead, you know) and failed completely to get around, over, or through, and basically would have had to give it up to someone else had it not been rendered moot.

ANYWAY. After we defaulted everyone who hadn't turned in a story by the deadline (technically, NINE HOURS AFTER the deadline *cough*), laurificus and I did the usual horse-trading, i.e., "I can do these two, you can do those two, the rest we'll throw at the list, and in the worst case, if no one else grabs it, I suppose I could manage that one over there as well." (generally speaking, pinch hits get grabbed pretty quickly) and as soon as I saw the list of Achilles/Patroclus stories here, I knew this one was mine.

The original is a drabble about Achilles taking a bath after battle, and I just expanded on that idea. I like showing the human side of him, and how that comes out most when he's with Patroclus, and, well, it's basically schmoop and I'm okay with that. I feel like knowing the tragic ending lends the fluffier stuff some weight, because you know it all goes pear-shaped soon enough. *hands*

This was the least complicated/most straightforward of the remixes I wrote, simply expanding on the original drabble and filling in the details. I like how it turned out, mostly because I feel like there is never enough Achilles/Patroclus fic to read. The original author seemed pleased, as well. I thought it was pretty obviously mine, from the title and pairing on down.

~*~

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Remix authors have been revealed, so I will officially claim my four stories, though I think anyone glancing through the list would have been able to pick them out even without reading:

Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough)
Captain America (2011); Steve/Bucky; g; 4,880 words
Steve is sure the guy working the morning rush at Starbucks is Bucky. Unfortunately, the guy doesn't seem to know that.
Remix of this snippet by angelgazing.

Toward those isles of yours that wait for me (the sand in your shoes remix)
The Iliad; Achilles/Patroclus; adult; 1,339 words
"The great Achilles, best of the Achaeans, undone by sand in his armor."
Remix of Something Better by oultrepreu.

Objects in the Mirror May Be Closer Than They Appear (The Didn't See That Coming Dance Mix)
Push (2009); Nick/Cassie; adult; content notes: implied torture and medical experimentation; 5500 words
Five times Nick surprised Cassie.
Remix of Blind Spot by medie.

Nothing But the Rain (The Quit Your Grinning and Drop Your Linen Overdub)
Captain America (2011); Steve/Bucky; adult; 1,905 words
We have to get out of these wet clothes.
Remix of Bring your hips to me by zeen.

My remixees seemed happy and I'm really pleased with all four of them, and will be reposting them here over the next few days for completeness/archiving sake and also because I enjoy talking about what I did in terms of remixing. So there's that.

Another successful year wrapped up. Whew.

*

So for Administrative Assistants' day this week, I got a bottle of wine and a Starbucks gift card. It's as if they KNOW me! So Friday night I made sangria out of the wine and have been drinking a glass daily. It helped during yesterday's hockey game, which was tense, but ultimately awesome.

*

I don't really have much to say about this week's Ultimate Spider-man (though I am curious as to the guest voice actor, because he pinged a lot of Teen Titans SLADE buttons) but I will say this about Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: ( spoilersCollapse )

*

Today's poem:

Because

Because the night you asked me,
the small scar of the quarter moon
had healed—the moon was whole again;
because life seemed so short;
because life stretched before me
like the darkened halls of nightmare;
because I knew exactly what I wanted;
because I knew exactly nothing;
because I shed my childhood with my clothes—
they both had years of wear left in them;
because your eyes were darker than my father's;
because my father said I could do better;
because I wanted badly to say no;
because Stanley Kowalski shouted "Stella...;"
because you were a door I could slam shut;
because endings are written before beginnings;
because I knew that after twenty years
you'd bring the plants inside for winter
and make a jungle we'd sleep in naked;
because I had free will;
because everything is ordained;
I said yes.

~Linda Pastan

***

Now I need to go have a pedicure.

***

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There were three remixes for me in Remix Madness! Three!

+ His Safe Place (Fight Your Secret War: Xander's Remix), which is a sweet Xander/Cordelia moment set sometime in late s2.

+ Welcome To Wherever You Are (The Brothers In Arms Remix), which is a Scott POV of Charles and Alex springing him from jail in my story "Dig for Fire." (Oh, movieverse!Scott, I will always have an unexpected soft spot for you.)

+ Evidence of Things Not Seen (The Missing Man Remix), which is a Steve POV on "The Leadership Breakfast," wherein we find out what was on those torn out pages, and also Darcy continues to play matchmaker.

Thank you so much!

<3 <3 <3

***

In other news, I think the Rangers are trying to kill me. And seriously, I know it just makes me sound like a homer, but that second Ottawa goal should have been disallowed! He kicked it in! It was clear on the replay, so I don't understand how they didn't disallow it. I mean, I'm not spinning conspiracy theories like Henrik Lundqvist, but I still think it was a shitty bit of officiating, and I'd like to hear the explanation for it.

But god, game 7! Always a super-tense proposition. They showed Messier's hat trick in game six against the Devils in 1994, and then, of course, Matteau's goal in game seven. I can't even, you guys. You don't understand what that was like. Well, maybe some of you do, whose teams had even longer droughts between championships, but I still get chills thinking about that 1994 Cup run. *shivers*

I'm not expecting anything quite so magical on Thursday, but I so want them to advance into the second round. *crosses fingers and knocks wood*

***

iTunes is playing "Sorrow" by the National and I keep thinking listening to it will let me build up immunity so I don't just cry every time, but no. I am sitting here teary at my desk overwhelmed with STEVE FEELS. *sniffle* I am going to be a complete wreck in the movie theatre.

***

Today's poem:

Disorder

Because sometimes one can taste the salty certitude of ruin.
Because each footstep is a promise of loss.
Because the molehill dreams of the mountain and the quick,
chill shower of rain that arrives tonight to break the heat wave
is like a lazy lover who will do a poor job of loving
and leave before dawn with a cynical sneer, moving onward.
Because my landlady says she can tell I am dying by looking at my hands.
Because there is a dove at every corner disguised as a pigeon.
Because the document I read on the day of my uncle's funeral
read "bi-polar disorder," which did not surprise me; because I found
it somehow brave of him to ensconce himself in a bottle and to allow the vodka
and rum to eat his liver and mind and because I recalled the jaundiced hue of his skin.
Because the metaphors about dark clouds and deep valleys seem literal.
Because the medications do not work but I tell everyone that they do.
Because the image of a hole in the ground so perfectly cut, the mere size
of a small box only large enough for one young man's ashes, harasses me
as I walk from here to the mailbox, or as I spend the afternoon rearranging
the piles of notices and bills and essays and photographs on my kitchen table.
Because I envision all my belongings boxed and bagged to be sent away.
Because I haven't the fortitude to answer the phone or to shower.
Because a poem is no therapy, and to speak of the reasons is not
to negate them but to empower them, such that they become birds
one cannot shoo away, such that they nest in the corners of the bedroom
or above the refrigerator, or here, in my stomach, and at the back of my throat.

~Paul-Victor Winters

***

And lastly, happy birthday to my dad, who's turning 77 today! He's not reading this, but whatever. ♥

***

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First things first: you all need to read the awesome remix of my story:

Lit Up (Find A Map And Draw A Straight Line Remix) (1748 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Captain America (2011)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Summary: Bucky needed some time to adjust.

It is FULL of Bucky's ridiculous STEVE FEELS. And you know how much I love that. ♥♥♥♥♥

For the longest time, he had been the only person in Steve’s life, the only constant. At least, that’s what he had always felt about it. Steve didn’t really have many friends, and Bucky hadn’t... Well, he hadn’t always encouraged Steve to look elsewhere, when it came to other people.

(Disastrous double dates notwithstanding.)

They had been everything to each other.

*

I wrote four remixes, all of which might as well have my name on them right now, and since I have never managed to follow through with writing something for someone who's guessed, you can guess, but all you'll get out of it is the smug satisfaction of being right. *hands* They're all in fandoms I've written before, if that helps. I would really like to talk about them, but I can't for a week. Sigh.

I have heard from three of my four remixees, so that's good.

It's going to be so weird to be able to work on other stories again. I'm not sure I will remember what I was meant to be doing with all of them. Heh.

Also, this is probably it for me. Ten years was a good run, but I don't think I can do it again. Certainly none of the dealing with participants parts, which I've only gotten worse at over the years. But I just... ten years! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I certainly never expected it to become a thing. Who knew?

*

I don't have much to say about Once Upon a Time. ( SpoilersCollapse )

And all I really want to say about The Good Wife is ( spoiler?Collapse )

*

Holy crap, it is POURING out there and it's basically been doing that since about 10 am this morning. I can just imagine what tomorrow morning's commute is going to be like. Ugh. I stayed in all day and I'm glad of it. I didn't even go out for coffee. I don't want to go out tomorrow - I need a day to recover from all the stress of remix - but I have to work. Sigh. Why can't i just be independently wealthy? Where is my ticket to the fangirl commune where we watch dvds and read fic all day?

*

Today's poem:

Love Poem
by Emily Raabe

My godmother wants to die, when her time comes,
by taxi. She plans to throw herself in the path
of a yellow cab on Park—she's confident

the driver will never think to use the brake.
She will be wearing her best suit, and my mother,
her oldest friend, will be there too, to smooth

her skirt sedately over her angled knees.
New York City will move around her
traffic like water splitting around a rock

in a river, coming back to itself
unchanged. My godmother will lie on her corner
in her Chanel suit, resplendent

and splendid under the wheels of an unprotesting
cab on its way to pick up, or drop off,
just doing its business, which on one particularly

brilliant autumn afternoon,
sun working its way down the avenues
like light unfurling in tunnels, will include

lifting my godmother from the city she loves
leaving just a vast and rippled wake, catastrophe
one thumbprint smeared and blurring.

***

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And here's my 5th and final remix for 2011.

And It's Surely to Their Credit (The Five-by-Five Friendship Remix)
Star Trek (2009); Nyota Uhura & Jim Kirk; g; 1,350 words
Nyota is surprised to learn that she and James Kirk have a number of things in common.

Remix of Between Math and Magic by downjune, and also for the West Wing Title Project (although technically the title is from Gilbert & Sullivan. Heh.). Thank you so much to Laura. I couldn't have done it without you.

( And It's Surely to Their Credit (The Five-by-Five Friendship Remix)Collapse )

~*~

Okay, so the funniest part about this is that it was written in a screaming panic on Sunday afternoon, the day the archive was scheduled to open, because through some weird glitch, the story that had been posted for downjune, which I had seen and marked off as having been posted earlier in the week, had disappeared. I tried to get in touch with the original remixer, but they had posted in a timely fashion and were off having a life, and so at 1 pm on Sunday afternoon, which is about when I'd hoped to be able to click the button to let the stories go live, I was instead trying to find a story to remix so that everyone would have a remix.

The original story grew out of one of those "personal canon" memes - this one about reboot Uhura - and it contained a sentence that listed all the things Uhura and Kirk had in common, and which made her start to warm towards him. It seemed like a great idea to write a section about each of those things and how their friendship evolved through them. It certainly seemed like the idea that would be most successful in the shortest amount of time, anyway.

So I started writing and laurificus hopped on AIM to hold my hand and read the story as I wrote it. I think you can tell from how vague some stuff is in the story that neither of us is an expert on the minutiae of Trek canon. I was like, "What aliens were around? What planet names can I use?" and then I just vagued it up when Memory Alpha wasn't coughing up the goods quickly enough.

Also, I fear that even though downjune appears to be a Kirk/Spock shipper, my Kirk/McCoy leanings come out in the section where they're all having a drink together. If you choose to read it that way, when McCoy only has, like, two lines. *snerk*

Anyway, once I was done and Laura had said it didn't suck, we were ready to go. I figured the placement of the story would give it away as me, as well as the title (I was in a rush! So of course I went to the list of West Wing title episodes I hadn't used yet, and this one seemed to fit), and I have to admit, I think that placement on the front page is the only reason it got as many comments as it did (certainly it's the reason it has so many hits), but I think it turned out pretty well, all things considered, and I'm so happy people liked it. And as a bonus, the original story talks about how Fela Kuti is Uhura's favorite musician - I'd heard of him but never listened to his music before, so I found a bunch of his stuff on youtube and listened to it while I wrote. And it was awesome. So not only did I write an unexpected story, I got to discover an amazing musical artist.

It's all good, all the time, up in here.

And that closes the book on my remixes for 2011. See you all next year for the TENTH ANNIVERSARY. Jesus take the wheel.

***

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Ugh. If I'd known the weather was going to be like this, I'd have taken today off too.

Anyway. Remix fic #4:

The Founders of This Meager Feast (Remix in G Minor)
Dark Angel; Max/Alec; adult; 1,150 words
She was either going to have to kill him or fuck him to shut him up.

Remix of Passing Time by lorax. Thanks to Mousapelli for looking it over.

( The Founders of This Meager Feast (Remix in G Minor)Collapse )

~*~

This is the second remix I wrote for lorax, though I started it at the same time as the Remus/Sirius one. I wanted to slip some secret sex into the original, and I had other ideas about how both Max and Alec felt trapped but that he stayed for her (per the original story) and she relied on him to stay, even believing that it was likely he was going to leave at any moment and that she wasn't enough to keep him in Terminal City. I think it fits as a remix in the sense of showing that Alec thinks he knows how Max feels and he's completely wrong, even though it's only tangentially the same story.

I wanted to do more about that feeling of being trapped, and of Max and Alec having to stay because they're the ones who started the whole idea of the transgenics standing their ground, which is where the title comes from – it's a line from the original story in which Alec refers to Max and himself that way. Sadly, it was more resonant with the story in my head than the story I wrote, but I was in a rush, so it stayed.

I like how this turned out, even if it wasn't what I thought it was going to be going in. And lorax liked it, too, so it's all good. There should always be more Max/Alec fic in the world.

~*~

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One Good Turn (The Fair Play Fandango)
Harry Potter; Remus/Sirius; adult; 2,035 words
Remus is drunk and it's all Sirius's fault.

Remix of Tables Turned by lorax. Thanks so much to snacky for looking it over.

( One Good Turn (The Fair Play Fandango)Collapse )

~*~

This was the next story I wrote. I've known lorax a long time, and we have many fandoms in common, but I've never remixed her. So when she came up as a pinch hit, I snagged her right away. I was originally going to remix one of her Lucifer stories, but I find his voice really difficult to capture and those stories are woven really tightly, without the gaps or loose threads other stories provide, or, maybe, with less obvious ones that would have taken a lot more time than I had to tease out. Then I tried out the Dark Angel remix (which I did end up finishing also), but couldn't quite figure out how to make it work, so alittlefaith and angelgazing convinced me that my recent nostalgia for Sirius/Remus was a sign that I should remix one of lorax's Remus/Sirius stories instead.

This is a very basic POV shift that also expands a little on the original by showing Remus's bad date. I kept a lot of the dialogue the same, even. The title is a play on the original title, but also on the idea that Sirius keeps setting Remus up and Remus repays him here - but I couldn't decide between "one good turn [deserves another]" and "turnabout is fair play" so I kind of combined them. And "fandango" is just a great word.

Anyway, lorax seemed happy with this remix, and it amuses me, as well. Pining, drunk, cranky Remus and finally catching a clue Sirius. What's not to like? *g*

***

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365 Days (Seasons of Love Remix)
Supernatural; girl!Sam/Dean; adult; content notes: dubcon: a love spell makes them do it; 2,740 words
There's always a price to pay when dealing with faerie.

A remix of Sam's face by kumquatix. Also written for the West Wing title project. Thanks so much to Snacky for handholding and betaing.

( 365 Days (Seasons of Love Remix)Collapse )

~*~

This was the second remix I wrote, and the one that inspired my recent post about hanging your remix on a structure. When kumquatix came up as a pinch hit, I checked out her stories, the way I check out almost everybody who defaults to see if they've got something I can remix (I realize it says terrible things about my control freak issues, but if I could do every pinch hit myself, I would. I love our pinch hitters, because they make life so much easier, but I still have that very deep visceral response of "I only trust ME to get it done on time!"), and as soon as I read "Sam's Face," I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I knew I had this title on the West Wing episode title list, and originally, it was going to be a section for each month of the year Sam is under the spell, but since I already used that structure for "The Calendar Hung Itself," I decided to go with a seasonal theme, which worked better thematically, anyway.

I also knew immediately that the only way I'd be able to write it was with girl!Sam, mostly because it's a complete happy place AU for me and also because it meant I wouldn't have to deal with any season 6 developments at all, which is pretty much the only way I find myself capable of even thinking about SPN these days.

The question comes up occasionally, and our stance as mods - and we have discussed it - is that writing sexswap fic is a legitimate remixing technique, and not just because I happen to really like born-a-girl!Sam AUs. Which isn't to say that I wasn't nervous about doing it - I know some people vehemently dislike the trope, but I couldn't find anything in the remixee's work to suggest that kind of dislike, so I went for it. I also warned Laura and Snacky that if the remixee did complain, they would have to handle it, because obviously, as both a mod and the author, I couldn't. (edited for clarity: I mean to say that if there had been a complaint, as the author of the story in question, I couldn't also be the mod making a decision about whether it was appropriate or not, not that I couldn't handle there being a complaint in the sense of coping emotionally or whatever.)

Luckily, kumquatix seemed pleased, and I personally am happy with how it turned out, even if it doesn't dig quite as deep into things as I might have liked had I had more time. I did have to give it a happy ending though, because I'm me and I just want everybody to shag and be happy!

Also, the remix subtitle is mostly because it amuses me to think of how annoyed Dean would be (and also because I wanted to earworm everybody since I was earwormed).

Not many people commented on this, though it did have some kudos, but I think if you did read it, it was immediately obvious that it was by me. (Possibly it was immediately obvious even without reading it. *snerk*)

***

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Happy New Year (Begin the Beguine)
Criminal Minds; Morgan/Garcia; pg; 1,300 words
"Happy New Year, baby girl."

Remix of Happy New Year by leiascully

( And we suddenly know what heaven we're in, / When they begin the beguineCollapse )

---

This wasn't the story I originally planned on writing. I think we matched on Sports Night? And I was going to remix a West Wing story, but then I read this little ficlet, which is Garcia's POV on the final scene, and I could see Morgan at the party, realizing that he didn't want to do the playboy thing anymore, that he wanted to begin the year as he meant to go on, with Garcia. The original remix subtitle was in fact "Begin as you mean to go on" but it felt too on the nose *snerk* and I've always liked "Begin the Beguine," so that seemed to work just as well.

I've written a story from Garcia's POV, but I'd never written Morgan at all, so I was worried about that, and it was slow going at first, because I just wanted to get him to Garcia, but I think it turned out all right.

Also, I changed the way I usually format my stories, using ::: instead of *** in between sections. I don't know if that threw anyone off the scent (I doubt anyone would have guessed I wrote this even without that, though the fact that Firefly gets namechecked was a clue), and then I completely failed to do that with any of the stories that actually could easily have been recognized as mine. (though with the girl!Sam I figured there was no way to actually hide that that was me. *snerk*) I suck at pretending not to be me.

***

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Remix authors have been revealed! So I can reveal my remixes!

My original assignment:

Happy New Year (Begin the Beguine) (1303 words) by victoria_p
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan
Summary: "Happy New Year, baby girl."

A remix of Happy New Year by leiascully.

This wasn't the story I originally meant to remix, but I like how it turned out.

And four pinch hits:

365 Days (Seasons of Love Remix) (2749 words) by victoria_p
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Mature
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Summary: There's always a price to pay when dealing with faerie.

A remix of Sam's face by kumquatix.

If you didn't guess this was me, I don't even know what to say.

One Good Turn (The Fair Play Fandango) (2037 words) by victoria_p
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Mature
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Summary: Remus is drunk. It's all Sirius's fault.

A remix of Tables Turned by lorax.

The Founders of This Meager Feast (Remix in G Minor) (1153 words) by victoria_p
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating: Mature
Warning: Major Character Death
Relationships: Max Guevara/Alec McDowell
Summary: She was either going to have to kill him or fuck him to shut him up.

A remix of Passing Time by lorax.

I wrote two because I started two and was like, ah, fuck it, I can't decide. Though again, originally I was planning to remix something else entirely. Time kind of ran out on me though.

And It's Surely To Their Credit (The Five-by-Five Friendship Remix) (1366 words) by victoria_p
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kirk & Uhura
Summary: Nyota is surprised to learn that she and James Kirk have a number of things in common.

Remix of Between Math and Music by downjune.

I was surprised at the response to this one, especially because it was written last Sunday afternoon after a glitch in the archive deleted one of the stories (and I'm certainly going to be writing to the AO3 coders to let them know something went wonky), but I figure it's because it was right on the front page of the challenge. Either way, I'm glad people liked it. I like it, too.

soundingsea correctly guessed that 365 Days and The Founders of This Meager Feast were mine. I thought those two, and also the Remus/Sirius, basically had my name written all over them (I mean, 365 Days is girl!Sam with a West Wing episode title!), but the other two, while I still think they sound like me (and the Trek Reboot one also has a West Wing episode title *snerk*), aren't obviously my fandoms, so.

I have more to say about each of them, so I'll probably be posting them here over the next few days with a lot of blathering.

And the remix written of my Original Cindy drabble "New World Order":

New World Order (In Us We Trust Jamcore Breakdown) (1386 words) by Rana Eros
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Max Guevara/Original Cindy
Characters: Diamond
Summary: Normal's in how you make it work for you.

♥

For me, remix is so much more about the writing that I sometimes forget that someone else is remixing me, and it's always such a trip to see what someone else has come up with from one of my stories. This was no exception. I love Max's indomitable will and Cindy's support of her.

***

Last night, while trawling for readable Katara/Zuko, I came across some Sokka & Zuko fic and now I want ALL the Sokka & Zuko buddyfic with whatever ridiculous shenanigans those two could get up to, and I imagine they could get up to a lot, depending on circumstances. No angst, just dorky boys being dorky and having adventures.

***

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So yes, after some super last minute agita, Remix Redux: Love Potion No. 9 has gone live.

I received a lovely remix of one of my Original Cindy drabbles:

New World Order (In Us We Trust Jamcore Breakdown) (1386 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Max Guevara/Original Cindy
Characters: Diamond
Summary: Normal's in how you make it work for you.

Max will totally redefine normal to suit what she has. <3

I wrote five remixes (yes, I realize it was only four at 2 am this morning; see above re: last minute agita). I think they are all pretty clearly mine? But if you can guess one or more, I will ... make you an icon? I'm hesitant to offer ficlets because writing has not been particularly easy lately but we might be able to negotiate.

Anyway, clues: five stories, five fandoms, all of which I've written in before, three are het, one is m/m, one is gen; all are under 5K words long. Go!

I've heard from one of my remixees so far, and she seems pleased. The others, well, I can only hope.

***

In more real world news, Osama bin Laden is dead. And I know I'm supposed to feel something other than grim satisfaction, but that is my main emotion. I didn't think he would ever be caught - dead or alive - and since my father is a survivor of 9/11, I'm glad that he's dead. Now let's just hope the president can leverage this in the 2012 election, though my confidence in the DNC is pretty low.

***

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So let it out and let it in (The 3x Mega Mix)
Supernatural; Sam and Dean; pg; spoilers through 5.22; 2,300 words
Three times Sam's caught Dean singing.

Remix of So let it out and let it in by ariadnes_string.

Thanks to angelgazing for all the handholding, and to alittlefaith and snacky for the superfast last minute betaing.

( and any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, don't carry the world upon your shouldersCollapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored. Thanks so much to the people who've already commented. I really appreciate it.

~*~

( the usual post-remix blatherCollapse )

Anyway, I like how it turned out, and my remixee liked it, so I consider it a success.

And that's remix for this year.

*dusts off hands*

***

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Fear as an Aphrodisiac (The Horizontal Mambo Mix)
Supernatural; Dean/Ellen; adult; 2,860 words
It's not fear of rejection that makes Ellen hesitate.

Remix of Fear as an Aphrodisiac by inkandchocolate. Thanks to snacky for betaing and amberlynne for handholding.

( Fear as an Aphrodisiac (The Horizontal Mambo Mix)Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored. Thanks to everyone who's commented already. I really appreciate it.

I don't have a lot to say about this one. The default came in, and since I knew inkandchocolate wrote SPN, I looked over her stories before we sent the assignment to the pinch hit list, and I saw the Dean/Ellen ficlet and I said, I will take this one! Don't send it out!

I knew I wanted to add the sex that hadn't happened (onscreen anyway) in the original, and I knew I wanted to subtitle it "the Horizontal Mambo Mix," because I am way too easily amused. As with "the Things They Carried," I just took what was there and expanded it out in both directions. And swapped the POV. I enjoyed writing it, though I still am not sure I shouldn't have changed the title; I added some stuff about fear and adrenaline on snacky's advice, to make it fit better, and then I was just too pressed for time to deal with the usual crazed search for a title, so that was that.

I love Dean/Ellen as a pairing, and wish more people would write stories about them. Eventually I may actually finish one of the AUs I've started about them. If I ever finish anything again. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I will. We'll see, I suppose.

***

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The Things They Carried (The He Ain't Heavy Remix)
Supernatural; Sam/Dean; pg; 2,150 words
Sam keeps finding Dean in unexpected places.

Remix of The Things They Carried by lunabee34

Thanks to my esteemed colleagues, Laura and Nichole, for betaing.

( They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die. Grief, terror, love, longing--these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight.Collapse )

~*~

Feedback is adored. Thanks to the people who've commented already! I really appreciate it.

~*~

( And the obligatory post-remix commentary blatherCollapse )

I think possibly tagging the story "grief" was offputting for people? I don't know. I thought that might give me away, if the title didn't (and if my misposting the draft for 30 seconds hadn't given it all away), given my love of stories about dealing with grief and mourning. But apparently not.

Anyway, it got some lovely comments, and lunabee34 seemed to like it as well, so I was pleased.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/176435.html. people have commented there.

Brush Up Your Shakespeare (The Wild and Whirling Words Remix)
Firefly; River, Wash, ensemble; g; 3,920 words
In which Simon is scandalized, River is curious, and Wash knows more than he's letting on.

Remix of Stories for the Edge of Space by 2ndary_author, written for remixredux09. Thanks to laurificus for betaing this and making it a better story.

( Then there was a star danced and under that was I born.Collapse )

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( brief commentaryCollapse ) I'm really pleased how it turned out. The original author liked it, too, which is always nice. I figured it would be obvious it was me, but I guess not?

Anyway, that's the last of my remixes this year. It was a good year, I think.

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This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/49916.html. people have commented there.

No One Said It Would Be This Hard (The Find You in the Dark Remix)
Supernatural; Sam and Dean; pg; AU for 4.17; 3,720 words
It's just the way things are--the sky is blue, water is wet, and Dean always finds Sam.

Remix of It's Only Easy if You Know the Answer by wanttobeatree. Many thanks to laurificus for the beta.

( No One Said It Would Be This Hard (The Find You in the Dark Remix)Collapse )

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( not so brief commentaryCollapse )

Anyway. I am really happy with how it turned out, and the original author seemed to like it, so it's all good.

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Wake Up a Little Bit Braver (Duet for Beginners)
Supernatural; Sarah Blake, Jo Harvelle; pg; 1,820 words
Sarah hasn't felt safe since she met Sam Winchester and he turned the universe upside down.

Remix of Hair of the Dog by dark_roast

Thanks to mousapelli for looking it over.

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( brief commentaryCollapse )

Way more people than I expected seemed to like this story, as did the original author, so I am pleased. Thanks so much to those of you who commented. I really appreciate it.

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When the Rain Washes You Clean, You'll Know (The Lovers' Reprise)
Supernatural/Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Buffy/Sam/Dean; adult; warning: ghosts make them do it; 2,975 words
"Let's get out of these wet clothes."

Remix of Blame It On the Rain by amara_m/phantisma, written for remixredux09. Thanks to laurificus and mousapelli for looking it over.

( When the Rain Washes You Clean, You'll Know (The Lovers' Reprise)Collapse )

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( brief remix commentaryCollapse )

Anyway, I like how it turned out. The original author appears to have liked it, too, so I guess it's a success. Thank you to the people who've commented. I really appreciate it.

~*~