Oh Star Wars fandom, you make me break all my rules about not reading works in progress because nearly every fucking thing that I'm interested in is somehow in progress, but it is making me deeply unhappy. WHY? WHY THIS?

silveronthetree and I were talking last night, and I was saying how I don't really care one way or another if Obi-Wan and Anakin have sex in a story - I don't seek it out but I also don't avoid it? Except if you make Obi-Wan a lady. Then I want ALL THE PORN. And there isn't very much that I've found, which also makes me sad. Why would you not? (I like to imagine Anna Torv as lady!Obi-Wan, personally.)

Even though in general I feel like most characters I write are bisexual, there are a handful where I'm like NOPE, GAY. or in this case with Anakin, NOPE, STRAIGHT*. With an Obi-Wan exception. I mean, I feel like most of the GFFA has an Obi-Wan exception, regardless of general preference or species? He is very flirty. But with Anakin, I feel like the only people he would willingly have sex with (note: we are not counting Miraj Scintel, since that was not actually consensual; that also leaves Palpatine out *shudder*) are Padme, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka, where he already has a strong emotional connection. (I feel like fic bears me out on this, because I haven't run across much of him paired with anyone else. not that I've gone looking.)

*I can only think of two other characters who've ever inspired that particular reaction in me: Toby Ziegler and Frank Pembleton.

(Otoh, I still think Luke is celibate if not asexual. Luke + sex just...does not compute. At all. I'll allow it for Rey to be his daughter, and I can definitely see the Han/Leia/Luke OT3, but mostly my brain just immediately nopes out of any sexual scenario with him. I don't even know.)

Obviously, YMMV.

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Well, yesterday I remembered reading Wednesday, which I don't usually do in weeks where I have Monday off, and totally blanked on the talking meme! So here's yesterday's question today:

yiskah asked, What do you think are the common features of a) the things you become fannish about, and / or b) the pairings you ship?

As always, the question is, what does "fannish" mean in this context? And here I will talk about things I've been fannish about in terms of discussing/posting about/enthusing ad nauseam to the uninterested in person but not actually producing much in the way of fan activity beyond post-episode posts.

For A, it's definitely relationship dynamics + a lot of space in the story to fit stuff in. I was going to say "shipping" but that's not necessarily the case, given how much gen I've written for certain fandoms (e.g., Firefly, Star Wars, SPN), though even there I do tend to write ship fic sometimes. It's just the family (found or blood or both) stuff tends to interest me more.

But there definitely have to be holes somewhere - if I'm generally emotionally satisfied with the canon (and haven't sparked for an OTP; if I do fall hard for a ship, I will generally produce fic for it, though not always - see below about The West Wing), I might write one or two things I need to see but since here doesn't seem to be anything major lacking for me, I don't spend a lot of time trying to produce whatever it is I need - see BSG or FNL or even HLOTS, for which I've sporadically produced a story or two, and which I definitely feel fannish about, but for which I don't really need much other than canon to be content. I mean, they're not perfect shows! But they gave me what I wanted, mostly, and so I don't really need to write fic for them. (Otoh, the West Wing...my old hard drive was littered with unfinished attempts at Josh/Donna because the show withheld it from me for SIX AND HALF SEASONS and I WANTED IT. But I never managed to do it, being distracted by other things, and then it was canon and I was good.)

(Otoh, for years and years and years I never wrote Star Wars fic, at least, not for public consumption, and now I do, so. Who knows?)

As for B) pairings, there is definitely a set of dynamics that generally tend to capture my interest - best friends to lovers, especially in m/m pairings (e.g., Tim/Kon, Steve/Bucky, Sirius/Remus, Achilles/Patroclus, Danny/Rusty), and bickery partners who fall in love (e.g., Han/Leia, Josh/Donna, Ron/Hermione, Aravis/Shasta, Luke/Lorelai, Max/Alec) with m/f pairings. I also, as is apparent here, love battle couples a lot. (Bucky/Natasha!!! Kaz/Inej!!!) *hands*

Interestingly enough, one of my earliest OTPs fits into both categories: Legolas/Gimli! I didn't know what shipping was when I was nine, but I was doing it. And I think you can certainly see the influence Han/Leia and Aravis/Shasta had (not to mention Nick and Nora Charles) on my pairing preferences. Even the m/m BFF-to-lovers pairings tend to be kind of bickery/bantery. (see reboot Trek Kirk/McCoy!) Insults as endearments is my favorite! When Steve and Bucky exchanged "punk / jerk" in CATFA, I was lost. (Though I never quite shipped Sam/Dean in SPN, I wrote a lot of it, and the "jerk / bitch" exchange was a similar light bulb moment for me.)

Also, if there can be some kind of tragic separation and then a reunion, I am a sucker for that (e.g., Sirius/Remus, Steve/Bucky).

I mean, there are other dynamics I tend to be really into (broken older man/special younger girl - Logan/Rogue, Mal/River, Nick/Cassie; Awesome Marrieds like Coach and Mrs. Coach or Jed/Abbey or Blip and Evelyn), but those don't come along nearly as often. And there are outliers, of course, things I ship that don't really fit any of these dynamics. But these are the main ones.

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What's Next? = Lin-Manuel Miranda and the West Wing. I might have teared up a little.

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January talking meme: grammarwoman said, Of the shows you're watching now, list a few OTPs and NOTPs. Or if TPs aren't your thing, plots you're hoping for and against.

Hmm... I am definitely an OTP(/NOTP) kind of person, though I feel like the only real OTP I have right now for stuff I watch, in the sense that I absolutely cannot conceive of them being with other people, is Blip/Evelyn on Pitch. They're like Coach and Mrs. Coach, and I do not want them broken up ever, even if i"m not particularly involved in fannish activities about the show (um, I still haven't watched the final two episodes so please don't tell me they break up in them or something! that would be terrible.). Oh, and Xiomara/Rogelio on Jane the Virgin, but I'm also willing to see where the show goes with them being apart for now.

In terms of pairings I ship wholeheartedly, Kanan/Hera on Star Wars Rebels, definitely, and Jake/Amy on Brooklyn Nine Nine. I'm actually really impressed with how much they've made me love Jake/Amy because I was so not here for that when I started watching the show (and I do still occasionally long for Amy/Rosa). I've sort of fallen away from watching Arrow but I still ship Olicity, despite the missteps from the writers, and I'm on board with Alex/Maggie on Supergirl, absolutely.

I guess my real NOTP right now in terms of TV is Kara/Mon-El on Supergirl. Like, why? Why do that? I still don't understand anything about why they ditched Kara/James as a couple, and it makes me question the writers a lot.

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You know, the worst part of writing porn is...having to write the porn. Like, the set up was fun and there's some character work that I like, but I've written a lot of sex scenes over the years and it's just difficult to make them sound fresh and hot and in character.

In this particular case, I also have to not give into the urge to put the sex on hold for a disquisition on alien biology, culture, and sexual mores (nb: all made up by me, as I have no idea if any of that is ever explored in canon beyond broad strokes and for the purposes of 2000 words of PWP, I don't really care?), but I did think about it all before I started writing and could in fact write all about it. Sometimes I just want to be like, NO I REALLY DID CONSIDER ALL THIS STUFF THAT IS NOT IN THE STORY, but you can't really say that in the author's notes. I mean, you can, but meh. I don't like long explanatory author's notes. I'm always like, 'that's what LJ/DW is for.' And thus, this entry! *g*

Also, since copracat pointed me at the term, I've been thinking about how to make a sedoretu work for various groups of characters, but I don't think it's really the configuration I need, because what I'm more interested in is, in some cases, overlapping three-way relationships, and okay, then there is definitely one het couple who doesn't have sex, but in other cases, I'm just like, "it's an OT4 and they're all sexually involved with each other"

Like, in the first case, I was thinking that surely someone's written the AU where it's Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan/Satine, and clearly in this set up, Anakin and Satine do not have sex. They probably don't even speak very often and only when the others are present. But then I was like, I do still see the overlapping threesomes there in addition to the het couples and slash couples - Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan, and Padme/Obi-Wan/Satine.

But the thing I've discovered I really want is the AU where it's Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padme/Ahsoka, and at first I was like, yeah, again, overlapping threesomes: Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padme and Anakin/Padme/Ahsoka, but then I was like, no, I really do also want Anakin/Ahsoka/Obi-Wan, though at first I was conceptualizing it as Obi-Wan\Anakin/Ahsoka, because I think Obi-Wan would feel the age gap between him and Ahsoka way more than everyone else would (and obviously, Ahsoka would probably have to be 17 or so, which I'm going to posit as age of consent on Coruscant for these purposes), but as with most things, I think Anakin would just wear him down to get his way in the end. *hands* (I didn't necessarily say these were healthy relationships, though certainly healthier than they ended up in canon.) And here is where I'd be able to pull out all the thinking I've done regarding Togruta biology and group marriage for this other story I'm writing where only the biological component is relevant and so the other stuff doesn't get mentioned.

I mean, part of me is like, "really? really, self? that's what you want?" but part of me is just like, let Anakin have the people he loves and maybe then he wouldn't be so susceptible to Palpatine's creepiness, and so doesn't fall, and therefore the galaxy is in slightly less trouble and his kids get to grow up with their parents.

I... may be writing several things where that's the underlying premise, though none of them are quite what I'm talking about here.

(I mean, in case you are not horrified enough, I have also been considering some seriously dub con Stockholm Syndrome post-Malachor Vader/Ahsoka, despite the fact that I am completely convinced that in canon, Darth Vader has neither the physical capacity nor the desire for anything sexual with anybody ever. And it's dub con instead of noncon because Ahsoka thinks she's reaching what's left of Anakin inside him, though possibly she's just delusional and has to tell herself that to survive. Let's just say it's the kind of fucked up thing I think about writing but rarely end up having the stomach to do so. I think I managed it in XMM and HP, back in the day, but not since.)

Anyway. I guess I've avoided the actual sex scenes long enough. Back to the grindstone.

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For our listening pleasure, someone put together a youtube playlist of all the Gang Starr songs that are episode titles in Luke Cage.

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misbegotten gave me some pairings for this meme, where I"m supposed to talk about those couples/characters and fics that you wish the universe would write for you.

Kirk/McCoy (AOS)
I enjoy the "everyone thinks they're together but they don't realize it" trope a lot for them. Also their BFF-y banter makes me happy. Cranky confessions that end in kissing! Maybe some role reversal where Bones gets injured and Kirk fusses over him. Maybe in the wake of the latest movie, them helping/guiding Jaylah during her time at Starfleet Academy (along with the rest of the crew)? I don't really read a lot in this fandom, but I do ship them pretty hard in the rebootverse.

Bucky/Natasha/Steve
Gosh, what stories don't I want for them? I want Natasha and Steve dealing with Bucky's choices at the end of CACW, I want future fic where they're all happily together, I want the story of how they negotiate the relationship from all angles: where there's an established pair who loops in the third member, where none of them are together but they're all quietly pining, I want slow burns and sex pollen, oblique declarations of love that have to be deciphered, domesticity, road trips, all of it. Somehow I never did come up with an OT3 tag for them, but man, I still ship it.

Leia & Luke or Leia/Luke
I don't actually ship them (shocking, I know!) unless Han is also there, but also I still don't believe Luke has sex? but goddamn, why are they always in separate storylines when they are so much more fun together? Give me all the eerie twin Force telepathy stuff, give me them taking down pirates and slavers in the early days of the New Republic, give me them going to Naboo to meet their mother's family and learn some history, give me time travel where they actually get to meet their parents, give me hotshot pilot/biker Leia whose need for speed rivals her brother's and husband's. Give me the stories of their terrible and reckless plans that never survive contact with the enemy but somehow always end up saving the day!

In the more current era, give me them mentoring Rey and Finn, give me Leia flying with Poe and Luke, give me the slow thawing of Leia's attitude towards their father now that the shoe's on the other foot and she needs to believe there's still good in her son (it's so slow, and always incomplete, stopping short of forgiveness but allowing for detente in discussing it with Luke and Rey now, where before she tried so hard to never think or talk about it at all after the revelation ruined everything).

Remus/Sirius
I've reached the stage where I just want happy domesticity for them. Let them live and grow old together in a cottage somewhere they can run free under the full moon and have all the grand nieces and nephews show up to visit and learn the ways of the Marauders.

Mets/Mets
Give me the story of this team when all the young guns in the rotation are healthy and Bartolo Colon is the wise sage who guides them! I mean, I am not going to give up on this season until they are totally out of it, but I want them to be healthy and to fulfill the promise a deGrom, Syndergaard, Harvey, Matz, Wheeler rotation could provide. Alternately, I am really pleased with Colon, Gsellman and Lugo stepping up when the rest of the pitching is falling apart. *hands* There's a reason my tag for them on tumblr is #the existential futility of being a mets fan It's hard, you know?

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This morning, I left the house at 8:30 am to take the train to Islip, where my niece picked up me up and took me to her new apartment that she and her boyfriend share. It is very small and cute - a very nice starter apartment - and they have all their geeky things up on the walls (covering several of the most important geek areas: LotR, HP, SW, and Marvel Comics), and are still in the process of getting things like pasta bowls and bookshelves, so I'm sure they'll use the gift certificate I gave them well. *g*

Then Alyssa and I drove to my sister's house, where my sister and her sisters-in-law and the one niece on that side of the family were meeting us, and we all went to tea in Port Jefferson. It was fabulous. I mean, disgustingly hot out, but the tea shop was nicely cool and the tiny sandwiches and scones and desserts were excellent, and I drank peach ginger iced tea (way too much of it) and they tried on the hats (I held down the fort at the table, as I tried on all the hats last year when we went), and a lovely time was had by all.

( mostly cut for discussion of the grossness of public bathroomsCollapse )

As an FYI for those of you traveling around and into NYC, the bathrooms in the LIRR waiting area at Penn are usable if you are in need and don't want to spend money in a Starbucks which may or may not have a working bathroom. I find the older I get, the more I want to know where my options are, just in case. *hands*

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In more fannish news, I haven't talked about the Rogue One trailer, though I'm excited about the movie. If the original Star Wars was sort of like the ETO of WWII, Rogue One looks like it's taking place in the PTO. I am here for it!

For ~reasons that may never come to fruition, I've also been thinking lately about Obi-Wan/Anakin as a ship and why it does or doesn't work for me and without going into a whole long thing about a ship I don't really ship but also don't not ship (i.e., I see why people do and I can in certain circumstances, and I sometimes feel kind of stroppy about it when people categorically rule it out altogether - it's one of those Mal/Zoe, Sam/Dean things where I think they're always going to be a weirdly package deal even if they're not having sex, so they totally could be and it doesn't usually mean much to me whether they are or not), but what interests me a lot about it is how it makes Obi-Wan explicitly complicit instead of just passively complicit in Anakin's transgressions against the Jedi code. Like, it's clear to the audience, and I think it's clear to various characters other than Anakin (and possibly, except when he's being really honest with himself, Obi-Wan) that Obi-Wan would basically do nearly anything for Anakin and then find ways to justify it to himself afterwards. I mean, he kind of already does it a lot in canon.

And that's just a really interesting knot to tie him up into, you know? I still haven't figured out a way to write in his POV, which is why I said this may never come to fruition, but thinking about it that way makes it more intriguing to me than just partners who are super weird about each other and end up enemies. I mean, I also have a whole lot of other caveats surrounding when it works or doesn't for me, but it's always interesting to me to look at things I don't ship viscerally to see how I would or wouldn't buy them.

(I mean, I do ship Anakin/Ahsoka, which is different for various reasons, though again believable because of how weird and possessive he is of his people and how much faith she has in him, but Ahsoka also ends up in a different place and the power dynamics are different etc., so there it isn't necessarily Ahsoka who feels she's transgressing, the way Obi-Wan almost certainly would, except in terms of Anakin's other attachments/relationships, but I feel like a loving and understanding/willing wife is a lot easier to negotiate with - and believe of Padme - than, you know, the dyed in the wool Jedi having to come to grips with his ...baggage.)

I dunno. I'm trying to work out stuff in various stories I'm writing and thinking about writing, you know?

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I got my period late yesterday afternoon, only 3 days late! No wonder my back was hurting so much over the weekend.

In other annoying news, the ham I had for my sandwich today was slimy and gross so I threw it out. I guess I have to buy lunch. Sigh. I have to make a Duane Reade run anyway, so I guess I'll live large at lunchtime and buy a fancy sandwich. Maybe not Pret fancy but then again, maybe I will.

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Jane the Virgin
( spoilersCollapse )

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So we're in the midst of a full court press on Cap 3 now, with the cast being stupidly charming on all media outlets, and here's a gif set of Chris Evans saying that Steve chooses Bucky, and I had to wax poetic about that last night on tumblr, because my OTPs choosing each other is a huge bulletproof kink of mine. It's why I tend to not care for (and not seek out) stories with soulmates or soulbonds or any of that kind of thing. Because I want it to be a choice and I want them to say I CHOO CHOO CHOOSE YOU every time, after every misunderstanding or tragic separation or even just the daily grind of day to day life. *hands*

I think it's also why I love reunionating so much, because it's a second chance to make that choice when it was previously taken by circumstance [tragedy, duty, misunderstanding, fundamental philosophical differences] or poor decision making (or both, in some cases).

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Today's poem:

V (Where We Lived Then, Circle)

Where we lived then, circle, arc of tenderness,
a place we could keep moving but never

get lost, all that time you didn't hear me,
or was it the other way around? Maybe

my sky was an eggshell, my god a great bird,
my home a nest of spit. Ending where I

began. It's just another failure, like
the spider's eggs wrapped in silk, blown into

the mud. Like obedience, its red slash
of loss. Lately, when I'm sleeping, an animal

wakes inside me, volcanic at the base
of my throat. Long-limbed, cramped by my ribs.

Deep groans, a song inside a song. Changes
are coming, my lambs, start your roaring.

~Anne Marie Macari

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As always, I feel like there's too much to tell and none of it as amusing in the telling as it was in the living, so have some Christmas bullet points:

= since I had a wheelie cart full of tins full of chocolates, I reserved a car to take me to Penn Station on Thursday morning, and that was the easy part - it showed up, there was minimal traffic, and I arrived at Penn about 35 minutes before my train.

= I got on the train found an unobtrusive corner to park myself and my stuff in, in the handicapped area where the seats fold up, but then of course, an actual handicapped person got on the train and I had to move. Luckily, I found another seat, even if the dude I sat next to was displeased by it. I didn't expect the 11:22 am train to be quite so crowded. I guess next year, I'll need to do the 10:22 if I have so much stuff to schlep.

= My sister and brother-in-law liked the candy! (There was no way that was waiting until Christmas morning. *snerk*)

= We watched "White Christmas" and "Princess Diaries 2" until it was time to go to dinner.

= Dinner was fantastic. So much food. And an absolutely delicious riesling, which turned out to be from Willamette Valley, so I will definitely be looking for it in the liquor store.

= My brother and nephew did their usual 'father & son' breakfast, eggs, bacon, waffles and English muffins. Plus a fantastic crumb cake that was all crumb and no cake. The best kind of crumb cake! *g*

= Even though it was 70°F, we all put on our ugly Christmas sweaters - my brother used a kit to make his himself! - and my Star Wars gingerbread men was seriously ugly, not cutesy masquerading as ugly, but everyone got a kick out of it (I commended it into Anthony V's care since he thought it was pretty hilarious), and we took a bunch of pictures with everybody in their sweaters before it was too hot to keep them on anymore.

= The food was all great and it was nice to catch up with some people I hadn't seen since last Christmas, but I spent a lot of time being antisocial in the kitchen, where it was much cooler and quieter.

= basically, the watchword of the day was "too many people, not enough wine." But even with all that, it was lovely.

= And then today I came home, and took a nap. And when I woke up and put the tv on, Prisoner of Azkaban was on, just as Sirius dragged Ron to the Whomping Willow. "I DID MY WAITING. TWELVE YEARS OF IT. IN AZKABAN." Oh Sirius. As angelgazing reminded me, the last time the full moon fell on Christmas Eve was in 1977, i.e., MWPP's last year at Hogwarts. Probably the last Christmas Remus was truly happy. *sob*

Anyway, I haven't really dived into Yuletide yet, but I have tomorrow and Monday to do so.

In other news, for the December talking meme, hers's December 26: top 3 favorite: female characters in books; male characters in books; pairings in books; and the reasons behind your choices. for Alex on Goodreads

Top 3 female characters in books:
= Eowyn in LotR - man, I felt so much for her. I always think of that quote: "But who knows what she spoke to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in about her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?" But also her AMAZING (and formative) moment of triumph in defeating the Witch-King. "I am no man," indeed. ♥♥♥ then after all the darkness and war, she gets the wonderful romance at the end with Faramir.

= Tenar, Earthsea. Oh, Tenar. Chosen and raised in darkness and yet willing to open her hands and heart in friendship to a thief in the night when Ged comes looking for the Ring of Erreth-Akbe. She goes from the One Priestess to a farmer's wife, and then in middle age, she takes in Tehanu and faces down evil wizards and dangerous men to protect her (and Ged. Ugh. their quiet middle-aged romance pleased me so much after so many years.)

= Amelia Peabody. Victorian lady archeologist! She's just so much fun.

Top 3 male characters in books:
= Faramir, LotR. "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." (I never have reconciled myself to the movies' portrayal.)

= Ged, Earthsea. He goes through a hard journey in the first book, but where he really shines is in The Tombs of Atuan: The heavy black she had worn for years was gone; her dress was of turquoise-colored silk, bright and soft as the evening sky. It belled out full from her hips, and all the skirt was embroidered with thin silver threads and seed pearls and tiny crumbs of crystal, so that it glittered softly, like rain in April. She looked at the magician, speechless. “Do you like it?” “Where—” “It’s like a gown I saw a princess wear once, at the Feast of Sun-return in the New Palace in Havnor,” he said, looking at it with satisfaction. “You told me to show you something worth seeing. I show you yourself. ♥♥♥

= Joshua Archer, The Arm of the Starfish. *GROSS SOBBING* One Yuletide I will request the AU where he lives.

Top 3 pairings in books:
= Shasta (Cor)/Aravis, The Horse and His Boy. I refuse to reread THaHB even though it's my favorite of the Narnia books, because of the gross racism in it, but man, Shasta and Aravis were SO FORMATIVE for me. I love them so much.

= Nick and Nora Charles. MARRIAGE GOALS.

= I'm sticking with canon pairings so I will say Ron/Hermione, Harry Potter. Because I think they complement each other really well and will have a lively and happy marriage.

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December 11: kore asked me to talk about Steve/Bucky.

I think at this point, they've reached OTP OF OTPs status for me, because the movies have done amazing things with their relationship (well, the Cap movies; I don't know what Joss has against Bucky that he's ignored almost completely in both Avengers films), and just when I thought it couldn't be any more central than it was in the movie named after them both, it looks like Captain America: Civil War will yet again put Steve and Bucky's relationship front and center. Which makes sense. It's a seminal (no pun intended) relationship in Steve's life, and it's shaped him not just in his childhood and pre-war days ("Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky."), but also the early days of his true legend (rather than the scripted propaganda he was part of prior to rescuing Bucky and the 107th et al.) when he goes AWOL and drops into Austria as a one-man wrecking crew to rescue Bucky; and then again as Steve's sergeant in the Howling Commandos - and clearly there's reciprocity there on Bucky's part ("I'm with you till the end of the line." "That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight, I'm following him."). And as Bucky's life shaped Steve's, his loss shapes Steve's death - it's only a few days at most between Bucky's fall in the Alps and Steve's decision not to punch out of the Valkyrie. Also, he goes from "I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies, no matter where they're from." to "I'm going to wipe HYDRA off the map." after Bucky falls.

It's no surprise that when Natasha continually tries to set him up in the present that he says he wants someone with shared life experience. There are only two people who can give him that and neither of them fully remembers him at this point. I really love how they parallel Bucky and Peggy this way, and how it's only when Steve's started making the first tentative steps towards accepting the fact that he's living in the future and might as well start making friends (Sam, Natasha) that the past comes up and quite literally punches him in the face.

So when Steve discovers that not only did Bucky not die, his own sacrifice was in vain because HYDRA not only exists, it's been a parasite inside SHIELD - founded by his friends in what is basically his name (I mean, whatever the Doylistic reasons for choosing that name - and whatever full name it's an acronym of at any given time - within the MCU canon, Peggy [and Howard] clearly wanted the name to spell out SHIELD and the shield is synonymous with Captain America in-universe.) - and not only has it corrupted the good work that Peggy dedicated her life to, it's been torturing Bucky for 70 years!

But Steve is able to break through that programming (which seems to have been extensive and ongoing) just by saying Bucky's name! Pierce blathers on and on about how the Winter Soldier has shaped the century - which seems more like sop to his own ego than any attempt at cajoling the docile asset he's using as a weapon - but Bucky is remembering Steve. "But I knew him." And then on the helicarrier, Steve repeats back to him that line, that vow, "Till the end of the line," and you can see the confusion in Bucky's eyes, the realization that he does know this man, and so he saves him from drowning, and then goes off to find himself.

And of course, Steve will follow.

And then there's the CACW trailer. ( spoilers and speculationCollapse )

I mean, that is all just canon (and some speculation based on the CACW trailer). I feel like ten years from now, we wouldn't have to make a case for it, it would just be the romantic relationship in the second and third movies. But as it is, it hits a ton of my OTP buttons: BFF-turned-lovers, tragic separation of a great many years that ends in reunionating, learning to renegotiate a relationship after all that time has past and all those terrible things have happened (i.e., do we still feel the same if we're no longer the same people? are we just latching onto the familiar/comfortable, or can we create something new to move forward with while building on the past?), us-against-the-world/on the run, "I have to do it"/"You don't have to do it alone" etc. etc. It's basically everything I love in a ship at once. I mean, they even gave me insults as endearments in canon!

That was more a restatement of a shipping manifesto than anything new, but uh, I have a lot of Steve/Bucky feels, okay. Sometimes a restatement of basic principles is necessary. *g*

There's still a bunch of dates available, so if you have a topic you'd like me to talk about, comment here.

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What I'm reading Wednesday:

What I've just finished

London Falling and The Severed Streets by Paul Cornell, which are police procedurals with magic, like Peter Grant's grittier, more nihilistic cousins. That said, I did end up enjoying these a lot more than I thought I would at the start, where they were kind of generic police-wise and character-wise. But there's a couple of things in the last third or quarter of the book where the characters suddenly differentiate - ( spoilersCollapse ) Then I started being emotionally invested in the lot of them, ( spoilersCollapse )

The second book definitely ratchets up the suspense. ( spoilersCollapse )

Anyway, if I had to rank them, I'd say Peter Grant is still #1 in my heart, because they are so charming! but this definitely bumps Felix Castor down a notch. (and I think I already made my feelings clear earlier about Matthew Swift.)

What I'm reading now

The Map Thief: The Gripping Story of an Esteemed Rare-Map Dealer Who Made Millions Stealing Priceless Maps by Michael Blanding, which is interesting, though the format of the ebook from the library means none of the interior links are clickable, which makes looking at each map as mentioned cumbersome and annoying. *hands*

What I'm reading next

I do not know.

*

The Flash: Flash vs. Arrow
( spoilersCollapse )

So I really enjoyed that, and hopefully the Arrow half tonight will live up to it.

*

December talking meme:

December 3: grammarwoman asked: what characteristics do your favorite pairings/groups share?

My pairings tend to fall into a few main categories:

1. Best friends becoming lovers - I especially love this in m/m pairings: Sirius/Remus, Steve/Bucky, Achilles/Patroclus, Alexander/Hephaistion, Danny/Rusty. This is my kryptonite with m/m pairings. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

I guess the m/f example of this for me is Jo/Laurie. Gosh, they could have been SO AMAZING together. I will never accept the terrible matches Alcott made for them instead. On this I cannot be swayed. *cough* Also why I love Harry/Ron/Hermione.

These pairings also share some other characteristics in some cases - the reunion after long separation due to tragic circumstances, the role reversals, insults as endearments...


For het, there's a little more variety:

1. the Bickersons - as I mentioned yesterday, I totally imprinted on Han/Leia and Shasta/Aravis, so for example, I never understood how anyone who read Harry Potter didn't see Ron/Hermione coming from the moment they met. It's also why I like James/Lily. And though it's more hostile at first than any of these, why I also love Max/Alec. (Legolas/Gimli is one of the few m/m pairings I have that fall underneath this rubric.) I also saw It Happened One Night at a young age, so that probably cemented this one. Even Nick and Nora Charles - I love those bantery, bickery, boozy detectives so much!

2. genius narcissist boss/long-suffering brilliant assistant - this is probably just a subcategory of the Bickersons because it's very screwball/banter heavy too - Josh/Donna, Tony/Pepper, Varrick/Zhu Li. It's a nice long slow burn and then the woman finally gets out of his shadow to be brilliant on her own and they can be together! *heart* (I sometimes wonder if Oliver/Felicity should fall here - though I think they are kind of genre-incompatible he wants to be a brooding loner hero and she's in her own bantery screwball comedy.)

3. broken older man/super special younger woman - Logan/Rogue, Mal/River, Nick/Cassie - ugh, yes. Give me more about the older man loner who can't open up to anyone and whose life is kind of crappy, and the young woman who breaks down his walls and makes him reconnect and care again. Love it! (this is why I am a little partial to Haymitch/Katniss, though I'd rather Katniss be alone than what she got in the book.)

There are other pairings I love but am not sure fit into these categories, but those are the three main types of pairings I tend to fall for over and over.

*

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Board meeting this afternoon, which means work is hectic, so in brief:

Sleepy Hollow: The Akeda
( spoilersCollapse )

I'm not quite done with this show yet, because I love Abbie and Jenny a lot, but man, this needs to improve stat.

***

December 2: riverlight asked about my favorite tropes.

I love best-friends-become-lovers - that is my ultimate favorite. I love stoic pining - even better if it's mutually oblivious - that eventually becomes requited love. I LOVE reunionating - especially if the pair has been separated for a long time by tragic circumstances. And then they reunite and it's like no time has passed (though of course there's still a shit-ton of stuff to work through - they're not who they were/how do they move forward/can they still have a relationship even though things are so different etc. etc.) "Together?" "Yes, I think so." *clutches chest*

I think you'll find that describes a number of my hardcore pairings. Along with the genius narcissist boss/long-suffering brilliant assistant and the broken older man/super special younger woman. Oh, and the Bickersons. (see Star Wars, above. I imprinted pretty strongly on Han/Leia.)

...I probably will repeat some variation on this for tomorrow's answer too, though with more specifics. *hands*

I love "there's only one bed at the hotel" and "let's cuddle after nightmares" and "we have to get you out of these wet clothes." I love undercover makeouts and couples who have a lot of sex but swear there are no feelings until there are totally feelings but now they can't admit it because they swore they were cool with the no-strings-attached model. (I guess this is kind of the porny version of the marriage of convenience as detailed below?)

I love fake dating, but even more than that, I love "everybody but us thinks we're dating" and even more than that, I love marriages of convenience, which I'm differentiating from fake dating/pretend marriage, because to me, a marriage of convenience is an actual marriage that begins with the two parties *not* in love and not even really aware of their own feelings (or only one of them is aware and is pining stoically) while the other insists it's literally a marriage of convenience for whatever reason - look, I read a number of Regencies at an impressionable age where this was the plot and it stuck. This doesn't really work as well for some of my OTPs as it does for others, but man, when it's done right, and there's that sudden realization that no, they really do love the other person and don't want them to have a discreet arrangement on the side, that really does it for me. In fact, I was just thinking the other day how sad I am that there aren't a million well-written Max/Alec marriage of convenience stories for my delectation. You guys should totally write that for me.

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- Last night, I couldn't get to sleep, so I took a Benadryl around 1:30, and then this morning, I couldn't wake up. Sigh. And then even with an umbrella, I was soaked from the knees down on my morning commute. My life, so hard.

- How did I not know about The Staff of Serapis, in which Sadie Kane and Annabeth Chase team up? YOU ARE ALL FIRED. I guess I know what I'm reading next. Say what you will about Rick Riordan, he seems to know what his readers want. Which right now is a NICO POV in the next book. COME ON. *cough* And also awesome lady-centric crossovers.

- This week's Orphan Black was a bit of a mess. ( spoilers say holy tilda swinton!Collapse )

- I also watched The Lego Movie yesterday, and I thought it was cute. I thought Batman was one of the most on point Batman characterizations I have ever seen. Except for the part where he thinks Bruce Wayne is cool, because Batman totally does not think that, but whatever, it was a minor flaw.

- I've been thinking a lot about Bucky lately (um, even more than usual I guess?), because the thing is, the thing is, Bucky's recovery should be hard and it should be heartbreaking at times but it should also be hopeful. The whole point is that he comes back from what was done to him. He's not the same person he was, but no one who lives any significant amount of time remains exactly the same person they were at 18 or 24, even if they haven't been sent off to war or had unspeakable things done to them, and it's not that Bucky is 'fixed' or whatever, it's that he survives long enough to be able to start living again, to become a person again, and I just can't with unhappy or unhopeful endings for him, with or without romance with Steve involved. (though my OTP feelings have certainly intensified - I kind of feel like I did with Remus and Sirius - as long as Bucky is alive and present, he and Steve have to be together or I spend all my time thinking "but what about Bucky?" There can be other people involved (Peggy, Natasha, Sam and Natasha), but I can't not have Steve and Bucky together (or, you know, pining stoically) while they're both alive and themselves.)

***

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So Scarlett Johansson is rumored to be 5 months pregnant. My first response was, that's lovely for her, but unless Chris Evans were the father, I am not interested. Why yes, I do ship them. *facepalm* But since this is reality and not the RPF wonderland in my head, I wish her well and don't have much interest otherwise.

But then I thought, Chris Hemsworth's wife is having twins (Thor is a fertility god, after all), and their first kid is still toddler-sized, and tumblr reminded me that RDJ has a toddler-sized kid, and Ruffalo's kids are probably old enough to babysit, which led almost directly to ON-SET SUPERHERO BABY DAYCARE. BUCKY BEARS FOR EVERYBODY. (for real, I don't understand why Marvel hasn't marketed a Bucky Bear. I'm not one to buy merchandise, but I would totally buy that. Even more so if it came with A DETACHABLE METAL ARM. IJS)

I think other people's anticipation for Captain America/Winter Soldier is starting to ramp up (mine has been off the charts for a while *cough*) because my kudos emails are now full of kudos for my Steve/Bucky and Steve/Bucky/Natasha stories, which have not generally been among the most popular things I've written. I have so much hope for a veritable DELUGE of Steve/Bucky and Steve/Bucky/Natasha fic once this movie hits, because this movie is basically ALL STEVE'S BUCKY FEELS IN VISUAL FORM AS EMBODIED BY CHRIS EVANS AND SEBASTIAN STAN. HOW COULD ANYONE RESIST THAT? ESPECIALLY IF SEBSTAN CRIES. HE'S SO PRETTY WHEN HE CRIES. I WANT SO MUCH FIC ABOUT STEVE SAVING BUCKY WITH LOVE AND ALL THE POST-MOVIE CUDDLING THAT ENSUES. In fact, I want an end title card that says, "AND THERAPEUTIC CUDDLING ENSUED." I also want ALL the Red Room-era Bucky/Natasha backstory, and how it made them feel human when everyone else was dehumanizing them. And I want Steve and Natasha's partnership-with-benefits to develop real depth of feeling neither of them expected, especially when Bucky is there to seemingly confuse things, but really, his presence makes everything clear. ♥OT3 5EVA♥

I want a post-credits scene where Bucky gets the red star on his shoulder repainted into a facsimile of Steve's shield+. I JUST WANT THEM TO HUG IT OUT SO I CAN SOB LIKE A HANGRY BABY.

+ Bucky having Steve's shield painted on his shoulder once he's himself again = CANON. Sometimes, comics, I do love you a lot.

The thing about Steve/Bucky, in particular (specifically in the MCU), is that it seems crafted to take all the things that make me ship a pairing, and turned them up to eleven. BFF who grow up together and have no one else in the world to rely on but each other? Check. Insults as endearments? Check. They rescue each other in turn? Check. And do exceptionally reckless things in order to effect those rescues? Check. Bucky sees Steve's greatness even when the world doesn't? Check. The public perception differential in their relationship is explicitly reversed? Check. They have a long separation caused by tragic circumstances? Check. They reunite under stressful circumstances and are able to work back to back even after the long separation? Check. (Okay, I doubt this will happen in the movie? And even in the comics, the reunion is separated from the working-together-like-clockwork bit, so it's not "Together?" "Yes, I think so." *sobs* BUT IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. And it does kind of happen that way in Avengers: EMH.)

Like, even the scene where Bucky picks up Steve's shield and it's what basically kills him is not just a nod to Bucky Cap (which I doubt will ever happen in the movies), but it's essentially PATROCLUS PUTTING ON ACHILLES' ARMOR AND GETTING KILLED. And then Steve, who becomes a soldier because he feels like he needs to 1. prove himself, 2. make a contribution/serve society, and 3. because he views the Nazis as bullies the world needs protecting from, vows to WIPE HYDRA OFF THE MAP. Like, Steve is not a perfect analogue for Achilles, because he's not a sulky, spoiled boy who's motivated by glory, but he's certainly the best of the Americans, and gifted like Achilles with strength and speed and might of arms, and I've talked before about Steve's anger and how it fuels him. (I already wonder if the storyline of Cap 2 is going to in some ways vaguely resemble Achilles' anger at the way Agamemnon broke faith with the men serving under him++.) Like, I don't want to overemphasize these parallels, which are there but not nearly exact and probably not intentional except on an unconscious level, but they're totally there.

++ I also don't want to get involved with how much of Achilles' anger was selfish/personal vs. the larger issue of Agamemnon behaving badly as a leader by taking away something (and unfortunately, in this case, by 'something' I actually mean a person, Briseis) Achilles understood to be his by right, as the spoils of war. But the analogy of a leader who promises one thing and delivers another is sort of set up in Steve's relationship to SHIELD and the modern day issues of privacy/civil liberties v. national security etc.

I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT STEVE AND BUCKY AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE. IS IT APRIL YET?

NOW?

HOW ABOUT NOW?

***

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I discovered last night that my yuletide had a bit of a structural issue, but then the Psych musical episode was on, so I ended up staying up later than planned to fix it (my yuletide story, not the episode! heh. and the story doubled in size! Oy!). It might still need some smoothing but now it is no longer Tuesday twice, nor it is Tuesday in the morning and Sunday in the evening.

I don't know why, in a story that is not more than 3000 words, I can't keep better track of when things are happening. I mean, I know the order they happen in, but for some reason I'll say it's October in the opening paragraph and then suddenly it's December two pages later, even though only three days have passed! Even after I've reread the story over to start writing again!

This is, for me, one of the main reasons I need a beta and why I miss not having a regular one these days. I'm not worried much about my grammar and I can live with the occasional awkward phrasing (or, you know, I can edit those things later), but I'm bad at these kinds of issues and I don't always remember to check for them when I'm editing, because I pay more attention to word choice and phrasing. *hands* We all have our weaknesses, I guess. (Don't fret, unknown yuletide recipient! It's totally going to at least one beta when it's done!)

Anyway, the Psych musical was on last night! I have never watched the show regularly, and I haven't watched it even sporadically the past couple of seasons, but when amberlynne reminded me it was on last night, I totally turned to USA network so I could watch it, and I'm glad I did, because how charming is Dulé Hill? SO CHARMING. ( spoilerCollapse ) was worth the whole two hours, which was slight but enjoyable. ( spoilersCollapse )

~*~

31 Days of December meme:

12/16: soundslikej asked about favorite OT3s and why.

Oh man, I totally ship a handful of OT3s like it's my JOB. The first trio I shipped as an OT3 was Harry/Ron/Hermione, because OBVIOUSLY. I mean, WHO ELSE understands what Harry's been through, what he's had to do and what's been done to him? And the thing about H/R/Hr to me is that it seems like it could work as an ongoing relationship, because they've already spent all that time negotiating their friendship. Oddly enough this is one of the few Ot3s I ship where I don't ship all sides individually - I am really anti-Harry/Hermione, to be honest, if Ron isn't there. But the three of them together? Sign me up!

Then there's Parker/Hardison/Eliot from Leverage, which is basically confirmed in the show, and which is a lovely, lovely thing.

I also ship various combinations of Robins (and occasional friends) - I mean, Dick Grayson is a walking poster for polyamory, and I totally ship Dick/Kory/Donna(/Roy, though I do like Roy with Cheshire). and Dick/Jason/Steph* and Dick/Babs/Jason, and in a V formation, Dick/Babs/Dinah (not that Dick and and Dinah wouldn't, but the emotional connections are all with Babs), and in the Teen Titans animated universe, Robin/Raven/Starfire. And speaking of Bats, of course I ship Bruce/Clark/Lois (I don't really ship Bruce/Clark/Diana because LOIS, but you can add Diana in with the three of them).

*I find other inter-Robin relationships with additional members are more of an occasional thing - Tim and Kon with Steph (or Cassie, or Bart), or Steph and Damian with Jason, or Steph and Cass with Kara. Non-Robin relationships like Cassie/Cissie/Anita are also of the good.

I couldn't talk about the DCU without mentioning Jaime/Paco/Brenda (with Khaji Da adding commentary), because I ship it like FedEx. BFF TRIO.

And of course, Oliver/Diggle/Felicity! What a great team they are, and how well do Felicity and Dig handle Ollie? He needs them both so much and they can support each other when he's out being the vigilante and and ugh, they push all my OT3 buttons! The show also clearly wants me to ship Sin/Roy/Thea, because have you seen them? Come on!

And then there's my main and current fandom, Avengers, in which Steve/Bucky/Natasha IS RIGHT THERE, PEOPLE. WHY IS IT SO UNDER REPRESENTED IN FIC**? IT MAKES ME SO SAD. CAPTAIN AMERICA AND HIS EX-RUSSIAN ASSASSINS. STEVE AND BUCKY AND BUCKY AND NATASHA AND NATASHA AND STEVE - I LOVE ALL SIDES EQUALLY AND FEROCIOUSLY AND ALL OF THEM TOGETHER EVEN MORE. Again, it's a matter of understanding to some degree what the others have been through and how it influences/affects them now. I have high hopes for Captain America/Winter Soldier on all sides, and have my fingers crossed that more fic will be written once it comes out. I still need a tumblr tag for them.

**Only 52 completed stories on the AO3 (and 5 of them are mine, so where's the fun for me in that?) and who knows how many of them are just "implied" or "background"? (I didn't count) THAT IS NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH FOR SUCH AN AWESOME THREESOME. Why does fandom not bow to my whims? Note: this is really not the place to tell me why you don't like my OT3.

I also like Steve/Bucky/Peggy, which is even less prevalent, but also harder to fit into the timeline.

I also ship Tony/Pepper/Bruce and Tony/Pepper/Rhodey, but without the same heartclenchy neediness I have for Steve/Bucky/Natasha, which I think is what makes it an real OT3 instead of just a trio I enjoy reading about sometimes. (Otoh, I do have that feeling for Tony/Pepper as a pairing, seriously hardcore. You can add Rhodey or Bruce or Maya Hansen, but you cannot ever remove Pepper ever ever ever.)

As you can probably tell from this list, I really dig M/M/F and the occasional F/F/M trios, but I am not interested in shipping M/M/M trios***. They just don't do it for me emotionally. At least, I haven't found one yet that does.

***I mean, I've enjoyed James/Remus/Sirius, for example, as a one-off, but not as an endgame thing. Unless Lily is there.

~*~

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Three more meme answers:

Steve/Bucky/Natasha, MCU
Tony/Pepper, MCU
Steve/Natasha, MCU

My track record isn't great, but some of these scenarios may end up actually getting written, now that I've talked them out.

Otoh, I am kind of annoyed with myself in terms of answering the "secret kinks" section. Because it wasn't until last night that I realized Steve/Darcy should have been titty-fucking (which isn't a kink bingo type kink, really, but is also sadly lacking in fannish porn [at least what I've read], but in my head canon, Steve is totally a breast man), so Steve/Natasha could be orgasm denial. Of course, I also really want the story of the kink I went with (which I don't really know the name of?) where Natasha just makes him come until he is completely and utterly spent, and then a couple more times after that, which would probably take a really long time, given super soldier stamina. Someone needs to write that for me. Bucky can help. I'm not picky. #fic writer problems

Doing this meme, especially for so many different pairings, has made me really aware, yet again, of how many of my OTPs are really similar, and how they differ between m/f and m/m pairings (I guess I don't really have enough f/f OTPs to have a type; otoh, Buffy/Faith kind of falls into some of the m/m tropes I like of former friends/enemies/reluctant allies etc. which I enjoy with Xavier/Magneto and also when I was into Clark/Lex; Rikki/Anya and Steph/Cass, otoh, are more like a BFF thing.).

But it's especially apparent in the 'moving in' section, where Xavier/Magneto, Remus/Sirius, and Steve/Bucky ALL do it more than once, because their relationships are marked by close friendships that turn into long separations caused by tragic circumstances (or, you know, huge philosophical differences in the case of Charles and Erik) and distrust (or enmity), followed by glorious reunionating (often of the "YOU'RE NOT DEAD?!? YAY" makeouts variety - even Tim/Kon fits that one).

I am absolutely a buddy shipper when it comes to m/m pairings (and this can probably be traced back to Legolas/Gimli, Alexander/Hephaistion, and Achilles/Patroclus) but when it comes to m/f, I have a couple of different dynamics I'm into:

+ the screwball/rom com bantery couples (early imprinting on Han/Leia and Shasta/Aravis, plus Nick and Nora Charles, is probably the origins of this), or the charmingly narcissistic boss/brilliant, long-suffering assistant (Tony/Pepper, Josh/Donna - you could probably even fit Oliver/Felicity in this one in a way)

+ the older, broken man/the super special younger woman he's sworn to protect (Logan/Rogue, Nick/Cassie, Mal/River)

+ the one where the man is just totally super into how awesome his lady friend is (Steve/Peggy, Steve/Natasha, Bucky/Natasha, or in more recent examples: Mako/Raleigh, Scott/Allison).

I mean, some of these pairings fall into one or more categories, and some don't seem to fit anywhere, but for me, that's the relationship dynamic that pings most often, and that's what I'm drawn to over and over.

***

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If you subscribe to me on AO3, um, sorry for the 30-odd Sirius/Remus stories from 2005 that got uploaded today. I miss them sometimes. Rereading, I actually made myself cry a couple of times, which almost never happens. OTP OF OTPS. I don't know if I'll ever feel that way again about a pairing, though I suppose Steve/Bucky comes close. EPIC TRAGIC CENTURY LONG LOVE STORY. *sobs* I just really love pairings where terrible circumstances force them apart for many years and then they meet up again and it's like no time has passed at all - "Together?" "Yes, I think so." for Remus/Sirius, or that bit in Captain America where Bucky finally comes back to fight the giant robot and he and Steve team up like they've never been apart. That is my FAVORITE. THEY FINISH EACH OTHER'S SENTENCES. THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER LIKE NOBODY ELSE CAN. Sometimes I think if you didn’t have me, there wouldn’t be a single person in the world who really understood you. OH STEVE. OH BUCKY.

I've had six happy hour cosmos. Six! Ah ah ah!

I am feeling a little emo about my pairings right now. Captain America/Winter Soldier better be like a punch right in the Bucky feels, or I will feel my $14.50 was a waste, is all I'm saying.

***

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things I have been thinking about but which will probably not coalesce into actual posts:

- DW/LJ posts and how much I like the structure of them - I (nearly) always use a line from the current music selection as my post title, and I like having the mood and music metadata and the icon choice - all of that pleases me on some level in a way that posting to Tumblr just doesn't. I like Tumblr for certain things, and I've met some lovely people there and had some interesting and fun interactions, but it never feels as solid as it does here. Maybe I'm just old and set in my ways. But the ephemeral nature of Tumblr posts and the barriers the platform itself offers to conversation leave me unsatisfied sometimes in some ways.

- Growing out of a conversation last night on Tumblr, how everyone in the Marvelverse wants Steve's approval (at least, everyone who's not a villain), and not just what that means in terms of how characters interact with him, but how much of that he perceives and how it weighs on him (this is much more true in the 616 comics, obviously, though I think the beginnings of it are present in the movieverse [not just the obvious thing with Coulson, but Bruce, for example - he's the first one who calls Steve by name instead of title [earlier, Natasha calls him Cap] and ask for his opinion, and then he's all "Captain America is on the watch list?" and of course, Hulk looks to Steve along with the rest of the team, and accepts his rudimentary orders once he joins the fight; there should be more fic where Steve and Bruce discuss how Bruce became the Hulk and why and how Bruce has internalized what that means etc. etc. I keep trying to write this but haven't figured it out yet]).

- the slow and intermittently steady progress on any of my wsip and how it's so much easier and more pleasant for me to write when there are one or two other people who are excited about what I'm writing as I'm writing it, vs. me having to sustain the excitement on my own, which I'm not very good at. sigh.

- speaking of wsip, here is the current "top of mind/open in Word" list:
       = pockets full of rain (Steve/Natasha[/Bucky])
       = Where There's Smoke...(Steve/Bucky)
       = Looking for what's next (sequel to the barista!Bucky remix)
       = In the Shadow of Two Gunmen (the DCU/MCU xover)

- via 12_12_12 and redbrunja, Jennifer Crusie on the Felicity Smoak problem. The thing is, Arrow can - and has - deviated quite a bit from the comics, so even though there really is no need, they're probably still heading for the eventuality of Ollie/Laurel, even though so far the characters work better when their relationship is adversarial. And not in a bickery rom com way. (My problem is threefold here: 1. I ship Dinah with Babs in the comics ("Call me Barbara." ♥); 2. I liked Laurel/Tommy way better than Laurel/Ollie in the first season, and the Laurel/Ollie present-day stuff is kind of a charisma void; 3. so far on the show, Ollie sparks much more with Diggle, Felicity, Slade Wilson, Shado, and his own sister and mother than he does with Laurel. We'll see how it happens going forward - I find it promising that the showrunners have been willing to make changes on the fly that have improved the show, but I guess we'll see how far that goes. I don't believe any showrunner should bow to fannish desires - you have to tell the story you're going to tell - but I also think, as Crusie writes in that post I've linked, when you see something in your story that works, even if you didn't plan it or expect it, you've gotta ride it where it takes you. "You've got to ride that wave! You've got to suck that lozenge!" (um, maybe that got a little off-track.)

- speaking of which - how stories will often take themselves over and surprise you - there are actual literal puppies in the story I'm writing. I thought it was going to be a kind of meditative, melancholy Steve/Natasha thing, but now there are actual puppies (and, possibly, the frozen head of Walt Disney) so no, it's just going to be more of my usual, I guess. *hands* It's entertaining me, anyway.

- the way Pacific Rim fic has hit some of my very favorite pairing dynamics with ( is the ship a spoiler?Collapse ) I just really love it when the dude looks at the woman like she is the most amazingly awesome thing he's ever seen and he's thrilled that he gets to bask in that awesomeness.

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So I reread Devil's Cub Friday during my train ride out to the island. It's my favorite Heyer - the first one I read, and the one I imprinted on at an impressionable age, and I think that shows because it has so many things in it that I've continued to love and look for in the stories I consume (and write):

• competent ladies who take control of dangerous situations,
  
• heroines who shoot (at) the heroes,
  
• heroes who are cranky to everyone but (eventually) the heroine,
  
• road trips/reluctant partnerships on road trips (see also It Happened One Night and The Sure Thing),
  
• and a relationship that starts out completely unequal that equalizes over the course of the story (of course, there are still serious imbalances due to the society they live in, but for the story, set when it is and written when it was, the seeds of it are there - she's certainly equal to the task of dealing with him, anyway),
  
• plus the madcap comedy of the supporting cast (e.g., Leonie and Rupert and the bottles of wine)

It's Heyer, so there are certainly issues (class issues up the wazoo in this one), but this one is so firmly ensconced in my heart that I continue to love it despite seeing the problems. (I didn't read These Old Shades until I was an adult, so it didn't have the same impact.)

I mean, I'm sure on some level I was aware of how many of my narrative bulletproof kinks are wrapped up in Devil's Cub, but it really popped out at me on this reread.

I think between this, Star Wars and The Thin Man, you can easily trace the beginnings of my penchant for bickering, bantering het couples.

My m/m BFF-turned-boyfriends thing comes from my early shipping of Legolas/Gimli and Alexander/Hephaistion, which were pretty formative between the ages of 9 and 12. (Well, I was mostly interested in Alexander + Bucephalus as a pre-teen, but Hephaistion was obviously there and his boyfriend in my mind. And it never occurred to me that Legolas and Gimli didn't get married until I was much, much older and discovered that there were people who didn't believe that. Imagine my shock and horror, because really now. They spent their lives together and then Legolas takes Gimli over the sea with him. I don't think it could be any plainer that they were married or whatever the elf/dwarf equivalent would have been. I am just saying.)

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In case you missed it on Monday, I posted a story!

courage teaches me to be shy (at AO3)
Avengers (2012); Darcy/Steve, Jane; pg; 4,525 words
In addition to a ginormous king-sized bed, Darcy's hotel room also apparently comes equipped with its own Captain America.

It started out as a trope meme answer, and grew a little. *hands*

I was thinking about why Steve/Darcy works as a pairing for me (more than I ever expected it would when I first got the idea to write "you and your hightop sneakers"), especially since they never meet in canon, and it's definitely the screwball/rom com possibilities that make me perk up as a writer and as a shipper. If Tony and Pepper are Nick and Nora Charles, then Steve and Darcy are like Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck in Ball of Fire.

The other day bethbethbeth did a post about what she's interested in reading these days, and I thought, hey that's a good idea, in case anybody wants to write something that I would like to read for the holidays!

So in Avengers, which is where most of my reading is these days, here are the pairings I am most interested in:

Steve/Bucky, Steve/Bucky/Natasha, Steve/Natasha, Bucky/Natasha, Steve/Darcy, Steve/Peggy, Steve/Bucky/Peggy, Clint/Natasha, Clint/Darcy, Tony/Pepper, Tony/Pepper/Bruce, Tony/Pepper/Rhodey, Thor/Jane. I'd also read Steve/Pepper/Natasha if anyone wrote it, or Steve/Bucky/Darcy, or Steve/Thor(/Jane) or Steve/Sif. And I love team gen, especially if there are wacky shenanigans, as well as gen about interesting or unexpected combinations of characters. (I'm still trying to figure out how to write the Steve + Bruce + supersoldier serum story that I desperately want to read. But I fear it might require actiony stuff, which is always a stumbling block for me.)

And that doesn't even get into the crossovers! You know I love crossovers!

I just had a similar conversation with angelgazing, because her birthday is this week and I'm probably going to write her a story, and when I gave her a couple of choices of what I felt I could write for her, she said, SIRIUS/REMUS. It's the time of year. Fall always puts me in a Sirius/Remus mood - you'd think it'd be late summer, because of dogdays, but scarf and sweater weather makes me think of them, either back at Hogwarts again for another year or those first heady months out of school before things went bad. OTP OF OTPs. Sigh. Now I just have to think of what to write.

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Definitely feeling better today. Not 100% but not miserable. I feel like there should be a rule that if you're sick over a weekend, you automatically get to have Monday off. Who do I talk to, to make this a thing that happens?

*

Over the weekend, melusina did that "How you know it's a story by me" meme, and in looking at the last time I did it, only the names have changed. *hands*

When I sent Welcome to Wherever You Are to laurificus for beta, I said, "You may recognize this story from when it was called The Hush of Waiting or I Got Some Beer and the Highway's Free, except it's twice as long as the latter and three times as long as the former!" (well, it wasn't three times as long until she got through betaing it - it was 15k when I sent it to her and 21k words when I posted it. *hands*)

If there's a story I tell over and over again, at least when writing m/m slash (it's different for het), it's about people who reconnect after years of being apart through tragic circumstances beyond their control and then have to learn how to be together as these new versions of themselves - Sirius after Azkaban, Dean after hell, Bucky after being the Winter Soldier.

How much is just holding onto something familiar? (and, as a corollary, is that necessarily a bad thing?) How much really is familiar when so much has clearly changed? If you're not the same person anymore, are you still the person your partner loved? Especially if those years included doing horrible, terrible things? And after years of being in the world while you were locked away, they're not the same person either - how could they possibly still love you? Or trust you? Or even want to look at you? Sometimes it's a long-delayed first time, and sometimes it's a resumption of a sexual relationship, and even there, that probably doesn't solve everything.

but those issues of reunion, reconnection and reconciliation, rebuilding trust etc., that's a story I seem drawn to over and over again.

For het, I often like to write about strong but somewhat broken young women and the older, broken, protective men who love them (Logan/Rogue, Mal/River, Nick/Cassie) and how there's an equalizing of the relationship that starts out looking kind of lopsided (whether due to age or, um, in River's case, mental health/consent issues). I enjoy other types of het stories - e.g., bickering partners is a particular favorite since I imprinted early on Han/Leia and various screwball comedies, and the brilliant narcissist boss/long-suffering awesome assistant is another one I enjoy - but that dynamic is one I find myself repeatedly interested in.

so much depends on character dynamics and personalities (or my interpretation of them, anyway, and that goes especially for pairings where the characters have never met, e.g., Steve/Darcy, which I love and which has its own brand of screwball dynamic that I enjoy, but which is a lot bigger stretch than, say Steve/Natasha, where they are clearly starting off from a place of mutual respect and working together well, and also just that look on his face when she uses his shield as a springboard. ♥).

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So laurificus and I were talking (mostly about anachronisms in fic) and she said something along the lines of, "you should write a modern day Achilles/Patroclus story," and I was like, "Steve/Bucky basically IS a modern Achilles/Patroclus story! With bonus resurrections! Bucky even picks up Steve's shield (i.e., puts on his armor), before he dies!"

Also - I didn't mention this in the conversation - but in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Steve even takes a trip to the underworld (or Niflheim, which is close enough, right?) and asks after Bucky while he's there. Steve is Achilles if Achilles wasn't an asshole (I mean, I love Achilles? But he's kind of a huge brat).

And she was like, "you know, if I didn't already know why you ship them, that would totally explain it." And I was like, "SERIOUSLY. I mean it's not like they are a ton of my bulletproof kinks all rolled into one pairing or anything: BFF, insults as endearments, banter, PARTNERS!, long separation caused by outside forces that culminates in reunionating⁺, the fact that when they do finally have a reunion, they end up working together fairly seamlessly despite the long separation⁺⁺; potential for mutual oblivious pining..."

Let's be real here, as soon as they had that whole "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." / "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." / "Jerk." / "Punk." conversation, I was a goner. It was probably earlier than that? but that sealed the deal.

I am trying to keep my excitement about the movie in check, because they don't even have a script yet (it doesn't even start filming until March!) and there are so many ways they could screw it up, but oh, man, I'm so thrilled they're doing it and not waiting for a third movie, which is what I expected they would do. Also, SAM! ♥ Now if they would just confirm Natasha will be in it⁺⁺⁺, that would basically be everything I want.

--
+ there better be hugging in the movie, or I might have to write a sternly worded letter to Marvel; they don't need to replicate the comics version of the story that closely, is what I'm saying

++ à la, "Together?" "I think so." *sob*

+++ I'd prefer that they leave Sharon out altogether and just slot Natasha into her place in the story, but I know they're casting her, so I'll just focus on the part where at least they won't be doing all the parts of her storyline that I loathe with a fiery vengeance.

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here is a post with a lot of links. hopefully all the coding is correct.

unfitforsociety has been updated for August 2012 with 34 recs in 4 fandoms:

* 22 Avengers movieverse
* 8 DCU
* 2 Crossovers
* 1 each Firefly and Bourne Legacy

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Top 5 Songs – August 2012

5. 45 - Gaslight Anthem
4. It's Time - Imagine Dragons
3. Shake It Out - Florence + the Machine
2. Terrible Love - The National
1. No Light No Light - Florence + the Machine

It was clearly a month of Steve/Bucky/Natasha, musically. I had "No Light No Light" on repeat while I was finishing and revising "Welcome to Wherever You Are" and I woke up with "Terrible Love" or "It's Time" in my head for weeks.

*

August 2012 Monthly Writing Roundup

Welcome to Wherever You Are (at AO3)
Avengers (2012); Steve/Bucky, Natasha, Darcy, Tony; adult; 21,000 words
Steve reaches out and hooks his fingers around Bucky's, holding on the way he didn't--couldn't--all those years ago.

I was so relieved to finally finish this. I'm sure when I'm able to read it again, I'll like it. It's full of stuff I like. It was just - writing it was really emotionally fraught for me for some reason.

But the little girls understand (at AO3)
Push; Nick/Cassie; adult; content notes: underage (Cassie's 17), pegging; 3,045 words
Turnabout's fair play.

This is what happens when you get earwormed by "Back Door Man" and by "you" I mean "me."

The same deep water as you (at AO3)
Avengers (2012); Steve/Natasha; adult; 3,510 words
content notes: D/s, spanking, crossdressing, collar, light bondage, implied pegging
"I'm certainly learning all sorts of new things about you on this mission, Steve."

I know some people keep their id-fic in a drawer. I don't really get that. But then, after the sekrit incest baby, I'm kind of done with shame.

*

From that questions meme, some answers you might have missed:

see me wax rhapsodic about my current OTP
this asked for favorite stories but I recced five recent vids. um. oops?
5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
and 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

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Ten more minutes and then I can leave. Sigh.

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Sigh. I wish there were a tumblr savior for the WHOLE INTERNET. Think of how much better life would be!

***

yesterday, bethbethbeth asked what's your fannish type? and on the one hand, I find it really easy to answer - the geeky sidekick (Ron, Xander), the geeky sidekick who becomes the hero (Wendy Watson, Peter Parker, Jaime Reyes - you would think I could put Tony Stark here, but...for me Tony is mostly enjoyable because of Pepper; Tony without Pepper is not someone who interests me all that much), the non-powered one in a group of superpowered people (Xander, Sokka - and you'd think Batman would be here, but not so much), but it's also for me so much about the character dynamics with most of them - would I like Xander so much without Buffy and Willow, Ron without Harry and Hermione? I need them in tandem - Mulder and Scully (and let's be real, more Scully than Mulder). Steve and Bucky. Sirius and Remus. Sam and Dean.

But that makes me think of the individual characters who generally don't fit the geeky sidekick/BFF role on their own: Dean. Mal. Cordelia. Faith. Helena Bertinelli. Kate Bishop. Jason. (I think Dick and Steph fit the geeky sidekick who becomes a hero role, but not as much as Tim, and yet I don't love Tim as much as I love Dick and Steph and Jason. *hands* I love Tim more in the context of Tim and Kon [and Bart and Cassie] or Tim and Steph or Tim and Tam).

I wasn't sure how Steve, who appears to be my OTC in Avengers, fit in here, though I guess because in some ways he's the ultimate plucky sidekick who becomes a hero - who MAKES himself a hero (though if you'd asked Bucky, he'd have said Steve was always the hero, the world just didn't know it yet. (Movieverse, obviously), so I guess he does fit. Because I love Steve on his own in addition to loving him with Bucky or Peggy or Natasha etc.

And also for me how important a relationship dynamic is for me to enjoy a character - I most enjoy Batman when he's being needled by someone else (and oh, the list is endless - Alfred, Dick, Clark, Diana, Selina, Lois, Barbara, Ollie, Steph); Batman on his own is tiresome. Or, as above, I tried to interest myself in Tony's myriad daddy issues, but couldn't manage it. However, put him with Pepper or Rhodey or Bruce and suddenly my interest sparks. And I don't even mean in a shippy way but in an, okay, I want to know more about how this person acts when they have to deal with this other person. Which can be shippy or just friendshippy.

I don't generally go for outright villains, though I enjoy a good bad guy, especially one who is competent and self-aware (Azula; Magneto; Deathstroke; Lex Luthor in some cases), but I obviously really like antiheroes - Mal, Faith, Jason.

I don't know - I feel the same way about shipping - I can obviously pinpoint the fact that I like BFF ships (my first slash pairing - when I was 9 and didn't know what slash was - was Legolas/Gimli) and also bickery het couples (see Han/Leia, on whom I imprinted when I was 7 or 8, or Sam and Diane or Dave/Maddie when I was a little older), but so much depends on the particular characters and their specific dynamic.

What do you think?

***

Last night I had this dream that Clint Barton and some character being played by Jake Gyllenhaal had been infected with an alien symbiote that was keeping them alive, but it could only animate them one at a time, so you had to flatline one guy so the symbiote would leap to the other. Clint was not happy with this situation, and was trying to figure out how to fix it, when Natasha and Coulson showed up. Natasha was like, "I leave you alone for FIVE MINUTES and this is what happens!?" and Clint was like, "Coulson will know how to fix it." But then the dream switched to something else so I never found out what happened.

***

I'm supposed to be going over to someone's apartment tonight for an evening of wine and lounging, so I thought I would bring champagne grapefruit sorbet. That sounds good, right?

And for the Fourth, I might be going to someone's apt on the west side to watch the fireworks, and I was trying to figure out what to bring, and I thought maybe these frozen cappuccino cups. I am not skilled enough in decorating to do any kind of thematic frosting, and I love ice cream so... y/y? I could pop them out of the trays and pack them in ziplock bags and put them in a cooler to transport them across town, right?

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Big deadline at work today, but right now, while I could be making copies of all the stuff I need to make copies of, I have to wait for Boss1 to edit the main document to make sure she doesn't change the order of anything, otherwise, all my numbering would be wrong. Better to wait and rush than get it all done and have to do it again, right? I mean, once the editing is done, it's copying and collating.

While I'm waiting, I have been thinking about Snow White and the Huntsman - it's interesting to me that originally, Viggo Mortensen was in talks to play the Huntsman, and I wonder if other people would be shippy about it if that had been the case. And then yesterday I had Push on while I was washing up after baking and puttering around before the game came on, and it occurred to me that it wasn't just that I have a preference for these older (broken) man/younger (powerful) girl pairings because of the age disparity or the power differential (mostly because I like stories where the power differential evens out or is even in favor of the younger woman; and the age disparity often generally stops being meaningful after a certain point, or at least meaningful as an obstacle to the relationship).

It was that these men almost always have removed themselves from society - Logan, Mal, Nick, the Huntsman - are all very much in the Rick Blaine "Not my problem" zone when they meet the young women who drag them back into caring about things other than putting food on their own table. Logan, Mal, the Huntsman (Eric, I'm told) - they all fought the "good" fight and lost; Nick didn't even ever bother to try. And then because someone who comes along who needs their help (and their perceived protection - remember, the young woman in this equation is powerful in her own right, though she might be broken in various ways), they get dragged back into caring about the larger world and the problems in it and rejoining the fight against [evil mutants/friends of humanity; the Alliance; the evil queen; Division].

I think even Max/Alec can sort of fit this, though there's no age disparity - Alec has no reason to stay in Seattle after he pays off his debt to Max, but he does, and he starts to model his own newly developing system of morality on hers (with some tweaks), and he eases his way into her life and her circle of friends and into caring about the larger issues about transgenics, even though his original plan was to run for the border, because hey, not his problem.

(See also, Han Solo, formative influence.)

I don't really know if this means anything, but it was interesting to me to see this pattern repeated in a number of my het pairings (the pattern doesn't seem to hold with m/m slash, mostly because I don't think they write stories like this featuring two men, or I haven't really conceptualized them that way).

Okay! The document has been finalized, so I will be rushing off now to make copies of everything, and then spend my afternoon putting packets together. Oh, the excitement of nonprofit board support never ends.

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Meme gacked from everywhere:

First TV show I had self-insertion fantasies about:
The Hardy Boys! Oh man, I had such a little girl crush on Parker Stevenson, I can't even tell you.

First fandom in which I interacted (online and in person) with other fans:
I don't think geeking out over Star Wars as a 7yo with other 7yos is what this is asking about, nor do I think it's about how all my friends were big into X-Files in its first five seasons and how we talked about it at work on Monday morning, so in terms of what is recognizable as media fandom, it's Homicide: Life on the Street for online (alt.tv.homicide represent!) and in person, well, the first fangirl dinner I went to was in honor of hesychasm visiting NYC, and I want to say it was pretty early on in my time in fandom, and I met her and thuviaptarth and sab and a variety of other people who I've since run into on and off both online and at in-person gatherings. (I'm still not sure how I got invited, but I went despite huge levels of social anxiety and I was really glad I did.)

Pairing in the first (m/m) slash fanfiction I read:
Well, okay, before I was in fandom proper, I did read some really terrible Mulder/Krycek. And then once I was participating in fandom, I read some really terrible Angel/Xander. And then I read some really good Bayliss/Kellerman and said, "Oh. That is why people like boyslash." I have a feeling that the first girlslash I read (likely Buffy/Faith) was much better than the first boyslash I read.

First RPS/RPF I read:
Does Lord of the Two Lands count? I actually read that long before Fire from Heaven. I am actually really squicked by RPF (unless it's historical), oddly enough, so if J2 couldn't get me over that, I don't think anything will (though I freely admit to totally shipping Clooney/Pitt in a non-fic-reading way).

First fanfiction I read that made me think, YES, this is exactly the kind of fanfiction I'd like to write...
I'm pretty sure it was either "Safety in Numbers" by Elizabeth, or something in West Wing fandom by Luna.

Pairing in the first fanfiction I wrote:
The pairing in the first story I posted was Logan/Rogue.

First OTP:
Han/Leia! Jo/Laurie! Legolas/Gimli! Eowyn/Faramir! Aravis/Shasta! Lucy/Caspian! Achilles/Patroclus! Alexander/Hephaistion! Spider-man/Iceman/Firestar! This is all pre-being in fandom, though. I think you will see my patterns for shipping established themselves early and haven't really changed.

First RPS/F OTP:
Alexander/Hephaistion.

First fannish friend I met in person:
Huh. After the XF fannish gathering above, there were some Smallville fangatherings, so I met a bunch of people at once.

First character I formally roleplayed:
I've never done this. It's just not something that works for me, mainly because it requires joining and collaboration, two things I'm terrible at.

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Thank you to marciaelena and mousapelli for the blue dragons on my LJ user info! ♥♥♥

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My white_lotus story continues apace, with possibly the most ridiculously awkward sex scene I have ever written. Then I look at who is involved and think that ridiculous and awkward are pretty fitting. Talk about right up in my wheelhouse. *snerk* I'm not sure it's worthy of my recipient, whose writing I admire quite a lot, but at least it's amusing me?

***

So I had some pretty bad headaches earlier in the week and I was wondering if it was because I hadn't had any caffeine, so this morning I stopped off at Starbucks for my venti iced latte, and the price has gone up by 22 cents! I don't think it would have bothered me so much if it hadn't broken $5, but now it's $5.06. That is more than I used to pay for an iced coffee + a toasted bagel with cream cheese. I am a little outraged. And also sad that I am going to have to break this habit even more forcefully, because I can't afford to spend that every morning on coffee when I can get it cheaper elsewhere.

On the plus side financially, we are all getting small... they are not calling it a bonus, because it's technically not a bonus, but because of some surplus in a budget that had to be zeroed out, we all got an extra payment (as sort of an apology for not getting any kind of raise for the third year in a row, kind of), so I am going to pay off a credit card this month, or as close to it as I can! I do not like carrying debt. It makes me sick to my stomach, but due to circumstances beyond my control (getting laid off, having to buy a new laptop, etc. etc.), I accumulated a balance over the past couple of years, and ugh. *deletes long tangent about finances* Suffice it to say, it will be nice to be able to pay some of that off.

***

Inspired by renne's excellent Bucky playlist, I've uploaded my Steve/Bucky mini playlist. I think I've mentioned all of these songs before in relation to them, and I have no fancy graphics or anything but here are six songs I've had on repeat a lot while I think about writing about them (since I am writing about everyone else at the moment, what even is that?):

World Spins Madly On - the Weepies
Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

There is not enough Oh, Steve in the world, and this song pretty much captures it all in two and a half minutes.

Going Down - Thea Gilmore
Well, heaven knows the way things go
With ticker tape and radios
The good fight was lost long ago
And bravery doesn't live in those
Who're going down
And I'm going down

Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something that's beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know

And here we have Bucky's post-Winter Soldier self-loathing, neatly encapsulated in two songs.

Adventures in Solitude - the New Pornographers
We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
We thought we lost you
Welcome back

I actually got all teary the first time I listened to this after seeing Captain America.

Human Remains - Tom McRae
Our history is just in our blood
And history, like love, is never enough
And I recognise so much of you
In these eyes
Always so blue
Why always so blue

This is also actually pretty much the only song I've ever associated with Achilles/Patroclus, and the parallels, well, they're there if you're looking.

Always - Panic at the Disco
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know

*hands* Sometimes you need a sappy love song.

Now that I've revealed how ridiculously OTP I am about them (as if it hadn't already been obvious), I will go and do some work.

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This day totally got away from me. Work was just... hurry up and wait and then hurry hurry hurry all afternoon. So no real writing got done, but I did have some time to do some meme answers:

For the fic I haven't written yet meme, I had these answers:

Middleman/Wendy undercover fake married for pearl_o

Fake married! Yay! This seems to be my current favorite trope as I am writing one fake dating story and sort of sketching out two others, and I am probably going to write this one as well.

and

The story where Steph's apology for slapping Bruce after his return involves her kissing him and then rushing off again and you tell us all about what happens next. for silveronthetree

I may have to write this one, too. IDEK.

You can still ask if you like.

And the domesticity meme answers

Steph Brown/Darcy Lewis, DCU/Avengers movieverse

Nick/Cassie, Push

Jaime/Paco/Brenda, Blue Beetle

Tim/Kon, DCU

Darcy/Bucky, Avengers movieverse

Darcy/Clint, Avengers movieverse

Simon/River, Firefly

Dick/Jason, DCU

Dan/Casey, Sports Night

Again, feel free to keep asking.

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instead of doing anything useful tonight, like writing, I ended up trying to do the ship meme thing, though I am quite obviously bad at not being obvious. *hands* I haven't written all of these, and but I have shipped them all, though not necessarily as OTPs or anything. Though in some cases, yes.

1. the shabby werewolf/the escaped convict - Remus/Sirius, guessed by secretsolitaire
   
2. the best there is at what he does/the untouchable girl - Logan/Rogue, guessed by ilyena_sylph
   
3. the fleet-footed demigod/the one who dressed up in his armor - Achilles/Patroclus, guessed by dancinguniverse
   
4. the princess/the rich kid with issues - Wonder Woman/Batman, guessed by lastscorpion
   
5. the coach/the guidance counselor - Eric/Tami - guessed by leiascully and jain
   
6. the hand/the heart/the brain - Harry/Ron/Hermione, guessed by secretsolitaire
   
7. the alien princess/the acrobat - Kory/Dick, guessed by ilyena_sylph
   
8. the man out of time/the guilt-ridden former sidekick - Steve/Bucky, guessed by st_aurafina
   
9. the emotionally stunted cat burglar/the happy-go-lucky sociopath - Max/Alec, guessed by katta
   
10. the mouthy reporter/the spit-curled superhero - Lois/Clark, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
11. the disillusioned former rebel/the gracious lady who gives him a home - Mal/Serenity, guessed by lastscorpion
    
12. the megalomaniacal world conqueror/his best beloved - Alexander/Hephaistion, guessed by jain and misachan
    
13. fan/sword - Suki/Sokka, guessed by tygermama
    
14. axe/bow - Legolas/Gimli, guessed by laria_gwyn
    
15. the Eaten One/the Archmage - Tenar/Ged, guessed by jain
    
16. the badass normal/the grandson of an unrecognized hero - Kate Bishop/Eli Bradley, guessed by moetushie
    
17. the rebel princess/the scruffy-looking nerfherder - Leia/Han, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
18. the laconic werewolf/the one-eyed one who sees - Oz/Xander, guessed by tygermama
    
19. the professor/the master of magnetism - Charles/Erik, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
20. the deputy chief of staff/the deputy deputy chief of staff - Josh/Donna, guessed by kenboy
    
21. the world-weary demon hunter/the only one who's never left him - Dean/Impala, guessed by 3_ravens_flying
    
22. the Robin who needs a Robin/the hybrid clone of the world's greatest hero and his ex nemesis - Tim/Kon, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
23. the woman who knows everything/the woman with vocal superpowers, Babs/Dinah, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
24. the woman warrior/the wacky pilot - Zoe/Wash, guessed by jain and rynne
    
25. the idea man/the detail man - Danny/Rusty, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
26. the billionaire playboy philanthropist/the woman who runs his life - Tony/Pepper, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
27. the Slayer/the other Slayer - Buffy/Faith, guessed by ilyena_sylph
    
28. the writer/the pianist - Jo/Laurie, guessed by velvetmouse
    
29. solver of exotic problems/artist turned superhero in training - The Middleman/Wendy Watson, guessed by riko
    
30. he stole her heart/she cut off his hand - Gen/Irene, guessed by dancinguniverse

I guess you're supposed to guess them? Come at me, bro. It's not like they're hard.

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So even though I was so tired I could barely see straight when I got home last night, I watched the two part finale of Kings and whoa. I am retroactively sad again about its cancellation, even though I don't really think Chris Egan had the acting chops to continue to play David as the rest of the story unfolded (I don't really think he had the acting chops to pull off what was asked of him here, but I also think the writing was at fault to some degree; I'm not sure if they wanted to play up his goodness at the expense of all his other traits [the lone good/honest man in Shiloh], or if they just couldn't figure out how to make him less naive but still willing to give people the benefit of the doubt even when he shouldn't have). But wow, Ian McShane. I mean, yes, of course, it's expected, but sometimes expectations are exceeded and wow, he really did in these two episodes.

( vague spoilers, I guess, for everything, plus some discussion of the West Wing episode Two CathedralsCollapse )

For the record, as if it would surprise anyone who knows me, I absolutely would not have minded any sort of incestuous Jack/David/Michelle threesome, whether it was a V with David as the fulcrum or if Jack and Michelle were also involved, emotionally if not physically. Sadly, the show was never going to go there, despite the presence of David and Jonathan's epic friendship in the source.

As I said under the cut-text, I wanted the epic BFF-ness. I have a weakness for the trope, as you can tell by my love of Achilles/Patroclus and Alexander/Hephaistion. (You know the day is coming when I write the post about Steve/Bucky as a modern variation on this, right? Especially in the movieverse. Just so we're all clear.)

Speaking of ancient and epic BFF relationships, I just finished reading The Buried Book over lunch. (Twenty pages left when the train pulled into Chambers St. this morning. So annoying!) I think I mentioned it earlier, but it's about the rediscovery of the clay tablets on which The Epic of Gilgamesh is written, and isn't Gilgamesh/Enkidu the ur-BFF-slash pairing? (pun intended, sorry.) The author isn't even coy about it, he's like, "I guess they could have just been friends, but...they were totes boyfriends."

I liked it, though I don't think it was great. Aside from the font bothering me (it detracted from the overall reading experience!), the epilogue was kind of ridiculous (yes, I get the point of it, but really, Saddam Hussein's novel? That is how you want to go with that?? Really?), and the author tends pile on stuff to hammer home points he's already made, so at points I was like, "I get it! Esarhaddon was anxious and paranoid, and Ashurbanipal loved to read and write! Can we move on now?"

But it offered some interesting history about how the tablets were discovered and eventually translated, and seriously, Hollywood, get on making a movie about Hormuzd Rassam. He was kind of a badass.

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I'm not sure the Avengers trailer made me more excited to see the movie, but I'm pleased with certain bits of it. Especially the Hawkeye parts. Though I wish he and Natasha had had lines in it. Also, let's be real here - I would totally trade the Hulk for Darcy and Pepper (and Sif, but she's not quite in the same bracket). In a heartbeat. Especially if they got to team up with Coulson to take over the world make SHIELD run more efficiently.

On the upside, aside from Thor being adorable, seeing RDJ as Tony Stark reminds me that I like movieverse!Tony, which is a good thing, because reading comics has made me really dislike comics!Tony, which was actually a surprise to me. (actually, to be fully honest, in what little I've read, I actually thought ultimate!Tony was less of an douchecanoe than 616!Tony, which is the reverse of my opinion of, like, every single other character in those awful Ultimates books (not, of course, including the cast of Ultimate Spider-Man, whom I mostly love). If you ever want to get me ranting, ask me about Ultimate!Cap. You will get an earful.)

( cut for unpopular ship opinions, please don't click if you like Steve/TonyCollapse )

I will try not to talk about it a lot! But I will be sitting here wishing more people were writing Steve/Bucky and Bucky/Natasha (and possibly Steve/Bucky/Natasha) and Tony/Pepper, and of course, Clint/Darcy, because those are the things I want to read.

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