{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"The show must go on!","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/","description":"The show must go on! - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Sun, 20 Jul 2008 19:21:23 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","copyright":"NOINDEX","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/126390670\/5571714","title":"The show must go on!","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/","width":"100","height":"100"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116476.html","pubDate":"Sun, 20 Jul 2008 19:21:23 GMT","title":"yeah","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116476.html","description":"OMG its so hot. *pants* I hate the heat. I'm sitting here at my inlaws *eye roll* typing from their dial-up computer. Sloooooooooooooooow. Def not used to it. On the 16th (i'm keeping notes because comcast will hear it out if they raise any hell with me) i noticed my net was slower and slower and then POP no net. The modem was just not getting a connection. Thinking that my bill was just overdue i called them myself and asked if my service was interrupted and the girl said yes. All I had to pay was 104 bucks and they'd turn it back on. They jsut wanted my money because I foudn out the next day that my bill was in fact 30 days late but it hadn't been interrupted yet. Ooookay so then they tell me that upgrades are going on in the area and a lot of people were out and when they fix it my modem should come back on. WRONG! So they scheduled a tech to come out on sunday (later i found out that if they work on sundays it costs extra...go figure) but i had to ride with dex in the festeva to the inlaws so he can fix the truck and i can drive the festeva back. So I resceduled for monday (sorry for the typos i'm just not caring) from 11am-2pm. This better be fixed or they're giving me another modem. Yes I can do without it for a few days but its painful because these days if you don't have the net you're screwed. Plus its the only way I can talk to my friends and since I don't have any in winchester my depression just worsens. So everyone who have told me to get over it in the past couple of days can kiss my ass. I'm not switching to anything else till I know for sure that comcast has screwed me and then i'll call visuallink and see what they offer me. My neighbor wants me to go with directv. \"Um why? they cost more and they don't offer the net. \" \"yeah they do!\" \"uh no they don't!\" he probably wants me to go with them so HE can get a discount. Ya know how when you sign up with something new you can save a friend money by reccomending the program to them? whatever. i love him dearly but sometimes i just wanna shake him cuz he's a stubborn old man. i try to live as frugal as I can but some things you just don't get for cheap. grrrrr! people piss me off.

other then that....i went to class on wednesday and there was about 10 people in there ALL WOMEN. ugh. my teacher is nice. he's a professor at Shenendoah U at the pharmacy part. I have to go clear to hagerstown to take my test. yikes. that won't be till september.

so i tried the juicer here for the first time. i mixed carrot, grape, and canalope juice. kinda made me quesay but it wasn't that bad. i told them to get me one for christmas. i would like a blender now though so i guess once EVERYONE IS CAUGHT UP AND HAPPY i'll be able to invest in one. AND NO I'M NOT BUYING IT AT THE DOLLAR STORE! damn it! i want something to last me a year not a month! SOME things i get at the dollar store. actually almost everything i get is either at the dollar store, food lion, or walmart (if i have to). I don't buy anythign I don't need. Okay so I did it in the past when I thought I was 10 feet tall and bulletproof but I learned my lesson and people can make fun of me all the want. Screw them in the ear! I'm in more debt then I'd like to be but it'll get better. In the meantime i have to LIVE and I have to EAT HEALTHY. *pant* i know i have a lot of pent up frusteration. I need my running shoes and I need some kinda mp3 player. I don't care if its 20 dollars and can hold 20 songs. I need soemthing to run with!

okay...i'm done....FOR NOW!!!!!!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116476.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116140.html","pubDate":"Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:11:43 GMT","title":"Frusterated","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116140.html","description":"Well aside from having a bad night three nights ago and scaring everyone to death (sorry bout that) everything went well the next day. On the 10th I took Sherida to Romney to see the doc. I think this is their last chance on getting disability. I didn't realize it was so hard. Seems anymore you gotta be almost dead to get the thing. *shrugs* After that she took me to millers market. Its owned by the menonittes (sp) so they sell some good stuff. I bought a lavendar candle and a big bottle of all season salt. I know where i'm gonna be christmas shoppin' :-). After that we stopped at the DMV tp pick up a couple of commerical license test books. Rod has to take his over again soon because its about to expire and Dex is taking his for the first time. We then stopped at this little roadside store that sold fresh veggies. They ddi't have much of a selection but they're related so we got a good deal. :-) Riding with her the entrie day I realize how much her and Becky and basically HER side of the family are all alike. They talk like they know everything about everything and you're trying not to laugh because they don't know squat from peter (i made that up). I was so ....grrr'd when poor pap had to have heart surgery and i found out it was minor and not the quadtruple like they said. WHY WHY WHY would you say that? I also hate how they sugar coat and \"don't tell josh cuz he'll cry.\" Tell the kid the damn truth!! How the hell is he gonna learn about life if you keep coddling him? He's gonna end up like Becky and be almost 30 and not know how to ....grrrr.

Anyways I'm going to church tommorow for the first time in ages. Winchester Church of God to be exact so I hope I'm not snubbed. There is a group that meets every week and I wanna check it out. Its kinda like for people like me. I grabbed a brochere from online and it sounds okay. If this doesn't work out i'll try calvary brethern. i 'm not sure if that's the right name.

So i'm gonna hang out today with seth38101 and CJU08 and we're going to go to famers markert and the bookstore. for the first time since i quit.

adios.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/116140.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115747.html","pubDate":"Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:17:25 GMT","title":"a feeling of hopelessness","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115747.html","description":"Its a feeling of hopelessness. The title just sums it up. You feel like there is no other escape but deep down inside, you know its not the answer. I need help and I need it now.

Don't wory I'm not really going thru with it. But its out in the open now and i just hope i can get the help i need.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115747.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115542.html","pubDate":"Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:36:17 GMT","title":"la de dah de dah dah","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115542.html","description":"Slept till 1:30 today but I was up and down all day since about 5am. I fell asleep *thank god* last night at midnight and dex woke me up at 2am getting home from work. So we ate and watched half of the movie we got from netflix (i'm baaaack) which was the second national treasure movie. So far its awesome like the first. I didn't get \"Alvin and the chipmunks\" yet so if i don't get it otmmorow i'm yelling at them to either send it or send me another dvd or SNIP and i'll just go to movie gallery. I hate that because i always go over the due date and i wind up paying late fees. with netflix you don't gotta do that. grr!

I took my neighbor to work at 8am then laid back down till well...1:30. Poor dex got up late. Tonight I'm making him sleep on the side where the alarm clock is. I like that side because the fan is blowing right on me and I hate waking up hot and sweaty. Okay enuff of that.

Nothing else going on. I need to write my grandparents. Yes that is the goal. Tried to call mom but she's either outside or not home.

hm. I need to use my \"free food\" coupon from Chipotle. Its like a mexican subway basically. Stead of subs you got burritos. I don't like mexican food really unless its a quesadilla (sp) but i'll give it a try. The one in nashville was really good but the one up here is awful. We'll see!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115542.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115333.html","pubDate":"Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:51:06 GMT","title":"sleepy but can't sleep","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115333.html","description":"I probably got a half an hour or maybe a little longer. I don't know. Dex left at 2am on monday morning and didn't get in till 2am the next day. Yeah. Long shift. Therefore he's snoring very loudly and is taking up the whole bed so that may be part of the problem. Now that I'm wide awake, contacts in, sitting here with the fan blowing on me, its beginning to annoy me. I think now that i'm awake i'm going to get some laundry together and start it. I have to take my neighbor to work in about an hour so when i get home i'll have that goal nearly completed. THEN dex and I have to go take care of a bill and then i'll ship him back to work. I hate insomia. But i'm not going to go to sleep during the day. I need toget back into routine of sleeping AT NIGHT instead of till 1pm.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115333.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115005.html","pubDate":"Mon, 07 Jul 2008 04:16:48 GMT","title":"i think i can write now","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115005.html","description":"all day longi've tried to write in this thing but i couldn't do it so i grabbed my notebook and tried again. i wrote almost two pages. speaking of writing...i need to finish that letter to my grandparents. maybe i should manuely write that too. i need to work on my spelling..

my wrist hurt so bad i finally broke down and went to CVS (can't hold a grudge against them) for a heating pad. the pad was about 16 dollars. sheesh. so i'll wait and look for one at walmart because i'll have to go there for my light anyways. i'm investing in a light to go over top the stove. i'm tired of having to turn on the \"pet area\" light to see hat i'm doing in the kitchen area of the apt. yes my little studio apt has \"sections\". It has an outlet just above the stove area which is perfect.

I got the dishes done and the laundry sorted into the basket i keep beside the microwave. there is where i keep all the laundry soap. the mircowave is so clean i'm so proud! i soaked it in some hot soapy water and lysoed and cleaned the inside of it. nice! tommorow i'm cleaning out the cabinets while i soak the oven and burner liners in easy off. so i'll be making a trip to family dollar for that. thank god for coupons. i bought a tube of icyhot for my wrist. i hope i don't have to have that thing fixed though something is gonna have to happen soon because it really does hurt. i have to have a skin graph done on the bottom of my gum under my bottom front teeth. i've already had bone loss. did i say this already\/ if i did. sorry!! lol! but least i don't have to pay the deductable again.

i'm feeling a bit hyper so i'm steeping a mug of ginger peach tea. i have many canisters of this tea that i got from BAM because they were expired. yeah i took too many. i guess i go a little nuts on free stuff. plus the tea isn't all that great but i'll try this stuff because its decaf. i like the lemon chamollie(sp) stuff because it really does help you relax. its got a hint of lavendar in it i think which helps.

yeah this month is def gonna be tight. we still have rent, electric, and comcast to pay which is all three on my list of \"most important\" not to mention my hospital bill. i'm going to continue to pay the 25 dollars. they can't yell at me because i'm payin them SOMETHIGN. also fluffys surgery and my doc appt will be added to that list as well. then in august we should be caught back up and i'll be in full swing of my class.

other then that everything is fine. i know God will provide our needs. Dex has been telling ME that lately because I'm the one that worries about it. Dex just shrugs and goes about his day. I'm crying because I can't sleep because of anxiety and he just kisses me on the cheek and walks out the door. I'm so lucky. Not every man would put up with me. Heck not too many people would put with me. Ya guys are great. i luvz ya.

I'm considering walmart again. i know...i know...i hate it....but worse comes to worse i think they'll take me back. there are other places i can go. but rigth now we're doing fine and i'm still keeping my apps new at the hospital. i'm gonna try the local \"homes\" around here as well. i know...i can't get away from the homes. LOL!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/115005.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114811.html","pubDate":"Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:38:52 GMT","title":"Not again...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114811.html","description":"Well I shouldn't say that because I haven't had one in a long time, but today at sheetz i was having a panic attack. good thing I wasn't paying in change because it woulda went everywhere. not sure what brought it on. thinking about stuff (what's due what needs paid being near broke) and sitting in the heat. I took my neighbor to the bank and I deposited almost 200 bucks in the bank but it won't cover anything till friday. ugh. i hope dex gets paid tommorow like he's supposed to.

So fluffy is good to go as far as shots and being healthy enuff for surgery. I take him back on the 24th for his booster and snip snip goes his manhood. Poor baby just growled at everyone today. LOL he doens' tlike strangers too much. The dog barking at the clinic probaby shook him up a bit. He never heard a dog before. But he got his rabies shot and his booster today. I think it calmed him down a bit cuz he's been sleeping all day. Thank goodness!

My wrist is killing me. I don't know what the docs can do to a two year old injury but I may have to go soon because its' getting to the point I can't use it without it hurting. Its just uncomfy.

I need to finish the dishes and clean the fan (its so dirty) then I may let my neighbor take me out to eat. He does that as a thanks for helping him out. He's 55 and a vietnam vet not to mention dex's ex boss at cottmanns transmissions. Plus he gives me a lot of advice and he hasn't steared me wrong yet. He's a good guy though he tends to get drunk quite a bit when we go to resturants with a bar. But all in all he's a good guy.

Adios for now!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114811.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114642.html","pubDate":"Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:46:20 GMT","title":"huh...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114642.html","description":"hmmmm for some reason my bolds,italics, and underlines didn't show. Well most of them i've read but only in high school. others by myself during my TIME at booksamillion. sound like a prison doesn't it?

stupid computer adware won't let me on AOL. i had a virus and it corrupted a file.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114642.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114280.html","pubDate":"Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:44:22 GMT","title":"A reading list","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114280.html","description":"There's a book that was just recently released called \"Stolen Innocence\" by Alissa(?) Well. I think that's the author. Anyways this woman was part of the latter day saints and was forced to marry at 14 and somehow she escaped. The leader of this sect was charged for I think child molestation or something like that. I can't remember but it looks really good and the book shows photos of her crying thru her smile because she didn't want to get married. Well who WOULD at 14? Sorry Loretta Lynn...no offense.

So the dentist appt today wasn't too bad. He wants me to get a water pick from walmart to clean my teeth. I'm sure its expensive so it may have to wait. I have bone loss in my lower front teeth due to the fact that the muscle keeps pulling away from the teeth. I have to have that part grafted next door. Ugh. Surgery. ASAP because i'll end up losing them. They're already loose. The deductable was 100 bucks. Yikes. But the rest was covered by the insurance. This includes the xrays they took and the actual procedures. When I rinsed there were blood clots and i kinda looked at the hygenist and she said it was because I haven't had them cleaned in a while. Still it was just ...yuck. Fluffy is next tommorow. I don't know how much his checkup will cost me. Hopefully not too much. Then I make an appt for HIS surgery and then MY doctors appt is later this month. So this month is gonna run me a bit tight financially. But we'll be fine. Dex is doing very well and well my unemployment should be kicking in soon.

I told Dex that I'll get a job when it comes down to it. I just wanted to get my class out of the way or at least way into it before I go back to work. I'm really gonna bust my bottom to get in with WMC. I KNOW for a fact they need techs and by then I'll be certified. My heart is racing. I HATE worrying about money! See Jen? I NEED THIS CONFERENCE! Make everyone and their mothers attack me those three days if you know what i mean!

Here's a reading list too!
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible - God
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. 1984- George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (I haven't finished them all yet, but I'm working through them.)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/114280.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113927.html","pubDate":"Sun, 29 Jun 2008 06:09:55 GMT","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113927.html","description":"So I've decided to use my time of unemployment to heal. It'll be my healing time. Getting in touch with not only the big man upstairs but also with my emotions and starting fresh. I wanna concentrate on today and not so much on the future. And the PAST....well that's what this place, youtube, and other resources like dailystrength.org is for. Writing everything down, screaming and crying...yeah that's how i get it out. i've been crying for the past few days, using up tissues and reading parts of my Bible. I'm reading my bible more these days then I ever have in my LIFE! I bought two books at borders with my coupons. I've been clipping coupons like crazy! Dex and I both got meals tonight at Arbys and they were 8.00 bucks all together. Then we went to food lion and bought healthy foods and saved about 20 dollars in coupons. We bought the new flameless candle for 4 dollars and some change. Most of the time they're like 11 dollars. I had a five dollar coupon plus the mvp card helped alot. Thank God for food lion and the mvp card.

I'm being as frugle as I can these days. We're going to the thrift store to find my bookcase. My books for class including my medical dictionary, my bible, my mags from joyce meyer ministries, and my THREE books from borders will go in that. Plus I'm getting back to netflix. It's only like eight dollars a month if I go with the one at a time plan. One dvd at a time for as long as I want. I may go with the three. I don't know.

Inlaws tommorow to put plastic pipes into their house to replace the copper ones. Now they're water will stop tasting like metal. Its so unhealthy. *sigh* Wish I didn't have to go. I'll be honset...those people make me wanna die.

*looks around* I need to buy a swifter sweeper and mop this place out. Its getting uncluttered and I'm not about to make it worse. I need to unplug the fridge, put everything cold in a sink full of ice water, and clean and steralize the poor thing. Its looking very gross.

*Sigh* I've been so depressed. No it really aches inside. That's why I cry and write and drown myself in my bible and watch joyce and joel as much as I can. It keeps me from dying.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113927.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113827.html","pubDate":"Wed, 25 Jun 2008 22:13:20 GMT","title":"cleaning up a bit","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113827.html","description":"So I attacked the closet and its half done. Besides the christmas stuff, all I have in there is just some clothes that probbably either need pitched or taken to goodwill. Lord knows they're either too small or too \"holy\". Least you can step into the closet now.

I shouldn't drink anymore coffee since its already past six but i'm gonna anyways. I'll just pop a benadryl later. My allergies are so screwy at nite time. I wake up with a stuffy nose and itchy, watery eyes. Do I sound like a commerical yet? LOL i love this new keyboard. I think the other one was on its last legs. Computer is running faster too but AOL isn't working like it should. Hmmmm. Myspace IM isn't either so I guess I'll ahve to resort to something else. MSN?

Just baked some chops and I'll throw some veggies in it too. I think I'm gonna get a diet book. I'm seriously serious. The weight has got to go. I found my father this weekend. SOmeone posted his obit on findagrave. 35 years old. Wow. Either overdose or that heart disease. I'm not going to die at 35 or have other problems later. My heart already beats too hard these days and i'm sure its anxiety. I hsould be taking something but I don't. I hate pills.

So I have some laundry to do because I found some extra summer clothes in the closet. I bagged the winter ones and threw em back in there. It sucks because I have no other place to store my stuff.

I don't know what happened to backstage video but the store is either moving or something happened but their not open anymore. I'm just gonna sign back up with netflix. its' only like 10 dollars a month for any movie at all I want old or new. I think it'll be cheaper too. Dexter wants to see the chipmunk movie and I wanna see the new national treasure so there we go.

So I need to wake up and the coffees going to help me. What? Coffee cuases anxiety? I know. It causes me not to sleep at nite when i should? I KNOW! but it also causes me to wake up! i think i just need to invest in some ginsing.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113827.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113652.html","pubDate":"Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:47:48 GMT","title":"been a while...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113652.html","description":"I'm sorry! I'm in for a big update.

The purple fiddle was great! If those dudes will be back in sept, i wanna bring dex with me cuz he would LOVE them. The cake batter ice cream was just.....WONDERFUL! They ran out of graham cracker so I grabbed two scoops of pnut butter fudge. It was good but I'm not a huge ran of really rich ice cream and that was pretty rich. Anywho...its all good. I wouldn't mind living in that kind of weather. I hate the heat.

So i've been getting up late since I've been um...fired. I've never been fired before I know it happens but it took my self esteem down the hole. Well....we'll be fine financially. I applied for unemployment. Dex didn't want me to becuase its a hassle (you have to call in with places you applied etc). I just thought we'd have a little something to hold us over till I get the class over with or untill i find something else in the meantime. I'm going to apply for college in the spring (i think) if nothing else, parttime. I'm sick of retail, I'm not gonna DO it anymore, I don't care if I have to be a secretary answering the phone and playing with the computer all day, I'm never working in a place that has a cash registar ever again! *pant pant pant*

So I'm having my \"morning\" coffee and making a \"to do\" list in my head. I'm gonna wash my sheets and comforter, do the rest of the laundry, and actually cook today. I think I'll just fix shrimp but the way I did it last time (a pinch of garlic salt, pepper, and italian seasoning) was pretty good. Dex really doesn't eat dinner. He eats at work so he's not hungry when he comes home. He is in the morning though so sometimes (though not lately) i've been making him breakfast. I will tommorow since I have to get up to early to get some bills paid. We're caught up with all the important stuff and when I was fired, I called the student loan people and asked for a deferrment and they said it was fine. So that was a huge relief. We have rent, bank loan, eletric is every couple of months so we're cool on that, gas, food, and misc. That's it...and dex makes almost (and i'm not bragging when i say this) 800 a week. What? Yes I'm worrying. I hate being unemployed. I've been working since I was 15 years old. 10 years straight, sometimes 2 or 3 jobs at a time. Whether it was at a store, nursing home (hehe), or cleaning someones house. *deep breath* I think we'll be fine.

Anyways...I'm gonna finish my coffee and start with chores. See ya on the flip side!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113652.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113198.html","pubDate":"Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:06:06 GMT","title":"me 2 me 2!","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113198.html","description":"Hmm...interesting! Considering that I can see myself in pearls, dress, with a purse over my arm pushing a shopping cart getting nutrious foods at the supermarket...
<\/td>

45<\/font><\/p>

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average<\/font><\/strong><\/p>

Take the test!<\/a><\/small><\/p><\/td><\/tr><\/table><\/center>

and here's my youtube video describing my day...

more later!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113198.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113094.html","pubDate":"Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:45:16 GMT","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113094.html","description":"Since I upated! I don't remember either.

I'm so tired. I work 31 hours this week which isn't bad. We also get paid every friday so that means we'll have money every week which is good. Money is always good. Money makes the world go round...it also makes it evil. I hate money for that reason.

So today...actually its tommorow cuz its like 3 am but to me tommorow doesn't start till the sun comes up....today marked the one year anniversary of rachels death. I read her moms entry and she posted a poem someone wrote of a child talking in third person of their mom and how she lies when she says \"i'm copin..i'm fine\" when people ask her if she's okay. It was cute\/sad. But I realized something. I went to the journal history. Yes for the first time...a year has went by before I could finally read the journal history. Before I couldn't do it because it hurt...I cried or I got mad at God for not healing her...but He DID heal her! Just not in ways that we wanted. Her brothers and her mom and dad miss her terribly. *sigh* God don't let me go through that. Course I don't know what I'll go through. I just want to focus on the present. But it helped reading her journal history. She fought up to the very end.

I've been battling depression off and on for the past couple of weeks. I explained to someone that I gone thru a mental\/emotion battle at work and I just figured that going to another job would cure it but it didn't. Ohits better pay\/enviroment\/hours...but the pain is still there. Apparently its something deeper and I'm working on finding out what that is. I think its unforgivness. I really need to work hard on that one.

Anyways i'll tell more later. I've GOT to get some sleep.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/113094.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112855.html","pubDate":"Sat, 31 May 2008 03:33:28 GMT","title":"i'm juicing","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112855.html","description":"not sure if its gonna work but i'm willing to try anything right now. the 'p' diet didn't work...the \"eat like a rabbit\" diet didn't work...so i've been told that this would. i need a juicer (which I think will be provided) and i'm going to get a book on recipes of different juices that i drink for differnt days. this consists of raw fruits and veggies juiced. we'll see.

nothing much going on. i like my job so far. its only part time but it pays more, its pretty laid back (more then bootcamp at BAM), and i get paid every week which is great! dex's paycheck was small becuase of the rain but its going to be okay. i need him here to help me gather up the rest of the bills so we can get this loan and get these debts off the table and start fresh.

i need something to relax me. maybe some cham lemon tea or decaf green. i'm drinking like a hippy. LOL","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112855.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112392.html","pubDate":"Tue, 27 May 2008 02:22:27 GMT","title":"i'm sooooooo tired...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112392.html","description":"And I have to work tommorow at CVS for the first time ever. I'm pretty excited cuz soon i'll be in the pharmacy part. I think this will be okay. When I first started at BAM i had a horrible feeling deep down in my chest. I knew I should not have gone there and i did. I have got to start paying more attention to my gut feelings.

And speaking of guts....

I'm aggravated. No matter what I do or where I live my family finds something negative to say abotu me and I'm not just talking about my mom this time. Dex and I did let her in on the fact that we are tryign to consolidate ALL of our debts into one monthly payment thru a loan that my inlaws are gonna help us get. This will include the student loan mom's paying for. For some reason she didn't act very happy about it and then went on how chris(my half brother) called her the other night telling her he got \"another scholarship\" that's 30 grand for college. His story is because his parents are divorced he's going to college for free. Now I know some people qualify for financial aid if their living situation is pretty glum which theirs were, but he is telling it like he's got a free ride. I now peeps that have full scholarships and still have to pass out some kinda money for something so I pretty much came out and said he was a liar. Not that I have any room to talk...i used that too when i was in college....but he's not only a big bragger but he thinks he knows it all. Talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. What I'm saying is they like to all rub it in my face that I'm in debt with student loans and I don't have nothing to really show for it. I'm sick of it which is why i'm not going out of my way to visit them when they all come up in june. Mom can HAVE them. At first I thought it was jealousy maybe it is. But most of all it irritates me how mom throws herself over everyone else in the family while i'm tearing myself apart for her approval which i haven't gotten since I was born. Nothing was ever good enough but if chris wipes his own @$$ one day HE'S da kid. This may all sound immature but i'm so tired of this. My whole family is so freakin' unsupportive and money hungry. They fight all the time...nobody is close...which is why i adopted all my friends. I'm just trying to better myself. So I'm in debt! So is the rest of the world! The little f***** needs to get over himself, quit acting like his drunked no good father, and take responsiblity! If he thinks lifes gonna be handed to him on a silver platter for the rest of his life he's got so much to learn. I later learned today that he's keeping his mother in law, aunt, wife (who gets a check every month for her silly self) and himself. Apparently they're all disabled so they get some kinda help. i thought \"ahh...THAT'S why its \"free\".' I dont' know why everyone pulls this crap over everyone elses eyes in this family. Hate to admit that bobby was right but in some ways he is. My family is screwed up.

I know...i coulda had it worse....i'm so messed up. i'm overwhelmed with guilt and condemnation. I don't know if i'm coming or going anymore.

Tell me again...why was I born?","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112392.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112261.html","pubDate":"Mon, 19 May 2008 16:31:06 GMT","title":"hurry uuuuup!","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112261.html","description":"I know it probably takes a couple days for the background checks to come back but I wish they'd hurry up. I wanna quit. LOL! Though i'm considering staying on till i'm trained and THEN i'll quit....well...stay on till i'm trained, pay for rent and class, and THEN quit.

Dex is sick sick sick! They already missed a day because of the rain and now he's sick. I just hope he doesn't give it to me. I need to go and spray the bathroom down with lysol cuz lord knows i can't afford to get sick. The store is sa damn cespool of germs! someone went home throwing up like two days ago and apparently i was a carrier. GRRR! I'm gonna have to go talk to ccap and see if they can give us a hand financially. Rent needs paid!!

Yes i know. trust the lord.

I gotta go back to work.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/112261.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111958.html","pubDate":"Fri, 16 May 2008 05:30:22 GMT","title":"i don't really feel like posting an explanation...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111958.html","description":"so just watch it!
http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=e1VZiqdD5HU<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111958.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111806.html","pubDate":"Wed, 14 May 2008 21:03:26 GMT","title":"i is po!","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111806.html","description":"At least till friday. I just spent fifty bucks at the grocery store. shoulda just put it all in the bank cuz i'm down to 25 dollars and that has to go to the hospital tommorow. they wanna try and get me to pay 50 next month and I don't thnk I can do it. i'll talk to them about it tommorow. anyways i'm overdrawn about 40 dollars and i hope dex doesn't spend all the money today so i can maybe put in a little more. he gased up his truck this morning so i have no clue. if not then i guess i'll have to wait till his check goes in on friday so it will cover. *mmph* the rents due due due! we HAVE to get it paid. then next week my class gets paid fer. ugh.

CVS called me this morning and I have an interview tommorow at noon. I don't know what its for...the pharmacy tech assitant or counter. I'll take anything as long as it pays higher then 7 an hour *shakes fist at BAM*. I work 4-cl tommorow. I'm gonna pray like crazy about it.

Now I'm feeling guilty. Why'd I buy groceries fer? I have shrimp (bogo at foodlion) steaks (like 3 bucks for a package) and chicken tenders in the freezer but I feel bad when I can't cook a decent meal for dexter so i got some burger meat, a couple cans of veggies, a pack of hotpockets to eat at work, and laundry soap which I NEEDED. I also bought milk and a box of water for like 4.99. All added up to fifty bucks (i said that already didn't i). Oh yeah...i bought a goodhousekeeping mag cuz it has this diet in it I wanna read. but that was only like 2 dollars. I know. it ALL adds up. I put 14 dollars in the bank to cover a bit of it. if it wasn't for that damn 35 dollar overdraft fee! I CAN fix that but that would mean I'd have to transfer my funds over to a NEW account in order to sign up for the no overdraft fee thing. Which would mean I ahve to let BAM know becuase my check is autodeposit. *sigh* Okay okay its just another little bump in the road. *breathing deep* its gonna be okay...

The house is getting a little cleaner. I need to go through some more papers and toss the old ones. get the dresser looking nice again. I NEED A COVER SET FOR THIS BED! I'm sick of sleeping on a bare mattress. I know dex doesn't care but I do dang it! can't we live a little nicer??

okay that's my rant for the day.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111806.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111505.html","pubDate":"Mon, 12 May 2008 02:30:46 GMT","title":"So....","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111505.html","description":"I'm not going to bother posting about work cuz ya'll done heard enough about that drama. On to other issues. Dex went over to his dad's again today. He was over there all morning yesterday becuase of that stupid old white car of his. They're trying to take it to the dump so we can get some money for it. Yeah they'll crush it but the weighing in of the metal will give us at least a couple hundred which we will use for insurance. His dad was being an ass about it all though. \"you didn't come over early enough!\" BULLSHIT! We were ove there at 8am and his ass was still asleep! The damn car wouldn't even start even after jumping it and when it fnially did it was too late. I had other places to go!! We drove up to mom's pretty much fighting because his dad had him doing other stuff around the house and jsut taking up the time. I wanted to get there in time to talk to mom since it was the first time i was up there since lee passed away. We still got our time but the POINT is Rodney has him up there every weekend! Dex spends the whole week with him at work. HE's not a slave and I won't let rod treat his son the way he was treated when he was young. Dexter needs to rest and WILL rest. I won't let rod turn dex into an old man before he's 30. the weekend is the only time i can spend with him and i'm gonig to have that time.

i don't feel close to sherida. not really. all i have left is my mom....i feel like an orphan already. i don't feel like a fit into dex's family and i really dont' put forth much of an effort to try. even though mom is the only family i have, i'm just not itching to get another even though i have no choice because i married someone. yes i'll fake a smile and attend the family functions though I'm screaming inside; i'll be a good girl and zip my lip when they make a crack at me or at dex. but i just don't feel like....i feel like a sore thumb. a black sheep. a green tomato. i don't know if i'm ever going fit in with these people. they're different. they're happy clappy slappy people. its like i don't wanna leave the place with my mom. the place in my inner childhood. the place i grew up in. even though i still struggle with images and memories...even though i go back to those memories in my head and try to mentally change the scenerio to protect that scared, lost little girl.....it just doesn't feel right to leave it even though i want to.

maybe it'll take some time and they say time heals pain as well. maybe it'll change once i start having children. i just feel so confused and pulled two different directions. i'm still that scared, lost little girl on the inside...on the outside i'm a grown woman trying to move on with my life. i'm stuck......*sigh*","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111505.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111179.html","pubDate":"Fri, 09 May 2008 15:49:14 GMT","title":"another day","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111179.html","description":"Shoot! Its already quarter till 12 so I gotta go to work. I was going to write about my day yesterday but I really don't have time. Lets just say I had two very obnoxious customers and its no wonder why kids are the way they are. People like that should NOT be breeding. Anyways its getting worse. We lost three people and about to lose a couple of more either by being fired or they're just gonna quit. I may have to put up with it till July though. I'm taking a pharmacy tech class at lord fairfax. Its only 395.00 and its an eight week course. I'm going to do it. I miss school and I love it so much and its my chance to get my foot in the door and out of retail. Least out of the retail that i've known since high school. More later!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/111179.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110907.html","pubDate":"Tue, 06 May 2008 17:20:04 GMT","title":"Wassup?","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110907.html","description":"MAN its good to be back online. Its nice to finally have some decent entertainment! Do you know how many times I've watched waterboy??? I need a new DVD wardrobe. LOL!

So its been a couple weeks since Lee died and I have to say...the ache is there. Mom and Lee met eight months after dad passed away and it all just sorta clicked together from there. I mean it was really fast. I was out of the house and mom sold it, moved to pburg, and married him 10 months ago. Its almost like dad never died. I guess God didn't think mom was ready to be on her own yet, the way I see it. But now she is and we gotta deal with it. And I'm nto saying that in a mean way. So now its time to deal with my own emotions because really..this is it. I mean MOM is it. I HAVE no family. This is why I \"adopt\" everyone I get close to these days. I have alot of \"brothers and sisters\" and I love em all. I also have a couple of \"mommys\". Its time to get over and let go of the past (not easy people) and move on so I can be there for the woman that DID raise me and give me a home and food and clothes and whatver i needed. No she wasn't there for me emotionally very much. I was scared of her many times; i didn't have very good school years but...that's over and I just have to pick myself up and work through this with some help so in case she REALLY needs me one day then I can be there.

Anyways I feel like i'm repeating myself cuz ya'll know the blow-by-blow on that one. So I digress.

Sherida gave me my late birthday present. LOL its a pair of marilyn monroe pjs(not sure they're gonna fit) and carrot-raisen cookies. They're very VERY good. I think I'm going to go shopping for mothers day today so I can get that done. I'm gonna get her some dvd's if I can. I have some coupons so maybe it won't be that high in price.

Hey I made home made veggie soup last night nad of course dexter ate it up. It WAS good. I'm proud I didn't burn it.

I'm gonna submit some resumes on here. Its a bit late to go job hunting today. Yes I'm still employed at BAM but its getting too bad there and someone whos been there for at least three years just walked out the door becuase she couldn't take it anymore. That's scary...","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110907.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110845.html","pubDate":"Fri, 18 Apr 2008 22:09:56 GMT","title":"Well good grief...","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110845.html","description":"Nah. Greif kinda sucks.

So mom calls this morning and she says \"lee went into cardiac arrest yesterday and he's probably brain dead so call me tommorow and I'll tell you more.\" Yeah sure. \"MOOOOM?!!!!\" \"Its not good he's on life support and they think they're gonna take him off of it.\" Oooookay. So i planned to go to work and then I called her an hour later and she told me he was gone. blah. Just when the old guy was startin' to grow on me; Klunk. Just tryin' to make light of it. Anyways I'm here at andy's house posting this to kinda get it out of me. This isn't gonna be fun. For one thing his sister is up there and she just LOVES to show off and take over. I'm not gonna let her bully mom(who's of course a basket case right now) into buying expensive stuff like with dad's funeral. I'm just up there to be with my mom cuz losing a parent sucks. Well...losing a step parent that is but I went thru this with dad so I guess its time for round two. Now I'm pretty sure he chose to be buried in Keyser so i don't know if the funeral will be in Keyser or petersburg. He went to church up here at the memorial brethern church (i may have those words backwards) so i assumed rev......shoot i forget his name....will be officiating. I dont' know. But I'll be up here for a few days. Dex has to work tommorow but he said they're going in early so they can leave early and then he's gonna drive up to moms. I left fresh water and veggies for chip and reminded dex to feed him, garfield, and fluffy before he leaves. they should be fine. I have clean litter for all three and plenty of food though i HATE HATE HATE leaving them behind. They should be fine. Did I say that? I'm a wreck. I need to find some dress clothes for the funeral becuase I own NOTHING like that for some reason, and I need shampoo. So I must fly. I NEED THE NET BACK DANG IT! Wish my tax return would get here already! love ya'll!","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110845.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110450.html","pubDate":"Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:42:36 GMT","title":"UGH!","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110450.html","description":"Condemnation!(thanks for that word joyce) Bondage! Previous entries! Well all these words have motivated me to write this entry.

I'll come right out and get to the point. Some of your already know this. My mom emotionally and mentally (sometimes physically) abused me. I had to be \"better then perfect\" and if I wasn't I was beaten. I feel like I'm repeating myself because I'm sure i posted this before. Mom and I have...\"made-up\" a bit since she's been getting sick and having surgeries to increase the quality of life. But it hasn't healed the open wounds in my heart and soul. Dexter goes through this hell with me unfortunately. Even some things he says...WORDS HE USES...brings back horrible memories. I swear, (if i'm lyin' i'm cryin' cuz i know some people break into this because they want pity attention..etc)I could tell people stories about me and my mom that would make your hair curl and straighten. I hated that woman but...i can't hate her anymore becuase its not helping me heal. it's so so so tough and i'll be honest this has effected my relationship with my husband. ya know the..sex part. i have a lot of trouble with that. i cover up, i shake, sometimes i just can't do it at all. one time i had to turn her picture towards the wall so i could....do it. someone told me i had \"perfect child\" syndrome. i didn't even know that existed. whatever it is it sucks. i look at my degree laying on the desk and cry. i can't get a job with this..i tried. the pay is about like Walmart and i need more education. i went to make mom happy and then she's like \"oh college costs? never mind. get out\" WHAT??? all those years of beatings, ridicule from teachers, crappy high school career for this and you want me to quit?? i got into this field of study because it was easy and it got me out quick. my real dream is out there but because of being in debt (which she reminds me of everyday of my life whether i'm talking to her or not..she's in my head) its going to be tough to reach it. this bondage effects everything in my life. it rules me.

i don't know what to do but pray. nobody will dare to make fun of me at work because of my religion because its the only hope i had. two weeks ago when i was sobbing into the blanket i confessed to dexter that i've thought about putting a bullet in my head to make it stop. don't worry i won't do that. that'd be putting an end to something that will get better. but that's how bad it is....

i wish i could afford to get \"help\" but i can't this journal and God is all i have. :-(




ANyways Dex got a new job. 18 bucks an hour and getting paid every week. great benefits.:-) i'm so happy so debt will slowly get better nad i will return to school.

thanks ya'll for being my friends. don't think i don't thank god for ya's every day.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110450.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110317.html","pubDate":"Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:42:48 GMT","title":"busybusybee!","author":"mmonroebpd","link":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110317.html","description":"So I got promoted again and I'm the only one that knows about it so far. Well..I think a couple of other co-managers know cuz they keep telling me (whatever you do don't let jonathan (the new gm) catch you reading or doing something ya shouldn't cuz he's saying a lot of good things about you\" \"yeah? what??\" \"don't worry about it.\" uhh..OKAY! lol! But yeah I work with all the merchandise, endcaps, sales, bestsellers..everything. :-) Didn't think I'd go this far in retail but its cool. I still plan to go back to school hopefully this fall if not this summer. I'm going to hershey park to see Joyce Meyer in August if I have to go on a pogo stick so they'll just have to deal with that. But they're begging me not to leave and go to another job so I take that as a good sign.

I need the net back and that's just all there is to it! i'm lonely, i'm bored alot, i need netflix back.....

i need i need i want i want...blah...LOL

uh...something else i wanted to write about but dexter is staring at me and I think he's hungry and i am too so i must be going! i'll update later when i get back here. toodles!

oh yeah! now i remember.....I MAY BE MOVING INTO A HOUSE SOON! ITS up in the air but its been offered for probably cheaper rent and the land is huge so i can finally have my garden. dex will be getting a better job soon so we'll be doing a bit better financially. pray that it goes thru cuz i love this house.","comments":"https:\/\/mmonroebpd.livejournal.com\/110317.html?view=comments#comments"}]}}