My life has changed so much in the past months, I hardly have words. When it looked at the last post I put here, it really hit me.

Basically, my life fell apart as my sister underwent a divorce sans paperwork. I was unable to live on my own, and unwilling to live alone in Grand Rapids. I had to quit my job and move back across the state and into my parents' house in January. My sister followed shortly thereafter.

Since then, I've been trying to find solid work. It hasn't been so bad, actually, just a little rough and admittedly cramped with four adults. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that it isn't that unusual or shameful to have to live with your parents at 26. It's hard to make a living wage in the US these days without working 60+ hours a week.

Anyway, here's an art dump, since I'm not sure what else to say.

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I know I haven't been really updating, and truth be told I've been floating in a sort of emotional limbo. Over Thanksgiving, I went to visit my parents without my sister, and getting away drove home the fact that I need to move out; while I myself havven't had stressful situations, she and her boyfriend have been fighting lately. It certainly doesn't help them that I'm living in their house, and the stress that they're experiencing is transferring to me, and totally draining me.

So basically, I'm once again moving within the next month, and in order to do so, I need to find yet another job. I've only been working three days a week, and I was furious when I realized that I was making more working half as many hours as a tipped employee than I did working thirty-some hours at minimum wage, consdering tipped employees in the United States only get an hourly of $2.50. Injustice in the world and all that. Luckily, the restaurant I'm currently at is apparently a neighborhood staple, so it shouldn't be too bad.

In the meantime, I have to break it to a certain friend that I'm finding an apartment on my own, instead of waiting for her.

On top of this, the screen to my computer broke, and it's totally useless without it. At least I was able to save the files before I sent it off to be repaired for a small fortune. That, and I still have my old laptop, which I'm currently typing on. It's a little slow, but I won't complain. It's still a decent computer.

Basically, every time I think I have all my ducks in a row, and I turn around and one of those fuckers waddles off. But I'll get it right, sooner or later.

P.S. LJ, please stop changing your posting format. It's hard for those of us who want to come back eventually...

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Big news of the month is that my best friend, Sunny, got married. Her husband (it's strange to say that word!), Alex, was another friend from high school. In March they'll go to Ireland for their honeymoon, which was a gift from Sunny's sisters.

In the meantime, I'm trying to start better habits. It's sort of an early New Year's resolution, I suppose, to try to start packing healthy lunches instead of eating at work all the time. (And honestly, I'm tired of work food.) So today it was a roast beef and cheese sandwhich, strawberry yoghurt with granola, and clementines. I just finished tomorrow's lunch, which'll be carrots, tomatoes, peanut butter and jam, and a few Christmas cookies. In the meantime, I'm also trying cut back my intake of highly processed foods, starting with bread. Basically, if given a choice I'll be eating whole grains, now.

I also want to make a conscious effort to improve my writing. I like what I write when it's something short, but I'm not terribly great at longer, plot-driven work. Basically, I feel like it all starts to go down the tube. I feel that my main issue there, though, is just slowing down. I must be afraid that, if I don't go fast enough, it won't get finished.

Not sure what else there is to say. Been a little manic, lately. Considered attempting a few comic pages. Dog's been eating the cat food.

So, we'll end this post with a couple drawings:




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Just a couple days ago, I got back from a trip to New York with relatives; my aunt, uncle, and cousin were driving up to visit other relatives, and invited my sister and me along, and it was a busy trip. Eventually, I should get around to writing more about it, but suffice to say it was a busy seven days. Our aunt's house is about a twenty minute train ride outside Manhattan, and I went in four three or four days. Unfortunately, I was sick the entire trip, but it was still a lot of fun.

Now I'm pulling this last minute shit at Halloween again. I spent ages working on other projects--I had a commission to finish, then spent time working on a coat while thinking that I should work on my Halloween costume--so now I'll be finishing it tomorrow afternoon, just in time for work the next morning. I have had absolutely no time for anything else, and at one point went over a month without doing any drawing, even. My "reading" consists of audiobooks on youtube while sewing.

I did make up for that the past few days, though. Today, I spent the whole day painting on the computer, learning new tricks. In a couple days, my life will get back into a steady routine again, at least. I need to start focusing on other things. Like writing; I've been losing patience--or perhaps inspiration--for it, and I want to start building that up again. I think a key will be buying a traditional keyboard to hook into this computer. Even though it has s keyboard of sorts, there's nothing quite like the reliable clack of heavy-duty keys.

In the meantime, I had someone ask me if one of my old, long stories was on AO3 for download. I'm thinking maybe I'll upload the whole thing there, then orphan it, in case someone is interested in finishing it themselves; I had started writing it back in '07, and while I am still interested in the concept, I am far beyond that skill level at this point. While I'm at it, I think I should go ahead and upload other stories I still like on the archive.

I'm also intenting to go through honest effort to find another job, too. The minimum wage in Michigan went up, so now I'm barely below it, anyhow, and now they're saying that, in January, no one at the restaurant will be allowed set schedules. It's just the last straw, and I don't want to be present for the chaos that will ensue. I really want a bank job or something. Something quiet, where I get holidays off. Those are benefits, as far as I'm concerned.

So, I'll try to go into more detail about New York another day, hopefully within the next week, and not pulling this weeks between posts shit. (Once again, I think the lack of a real keyboard is a contributing factor; what I have is not very ergonomic, and I'm making typos every other word, which means it takes me forever to type anything at all.)

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...but somehow, I can't wait till it's over this year.

I just don't have a life right now. Some of the people at work have been asking if I'm ever not working (I can't afford to not work two jobs) and the answer right now is no. Whenever I'm not at work, I'm working on Halloween shit. Namely my costume, which I need to finish today. I can do it, probably. I've decided not to worry about parts that can't be seen, considering I'm only going to be wearing it for one day, too.

And I've been slacking. Which, considering what "slacking" means, is a little sad. I went out with friends on Sunday night, at about nine. But I'd finished the tiara, so I decided to go for it. And then yesterday I spent the evening after work with my mother, carving pumpkins and stuff.

Tomorrow, I've got till about eleven to work. Then I've got work and the Halloween concert with friends. And then it's Halloween on Thursday. I'll be working that day, and then on to my parents' house to pass out candy. Afterward, a party.

Then I can get started on projects that are going to make me some money. Probably. After going to the play one of my friends is in, and a number of other events. Yeah, busiest time of the year for me.

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I've been vaguely considering getting a cat lately. Preferably an older one. My sister came to visit yesterday, though, and told me that they just got a new dresser, and opened the door, and a kitten popped out! I guess the dresser was in a garage that a stray cat had had kittens in. This kitty is only maybe ten weeks old, way too young to have left her mother, but it's been a couple of days, so it's too late. If we returned her now, she would probably be rejected by her mother.

Anyway, Katie doesn't know what to do. She's already got two cats and a dog, and she says it's a good balance in her house. If they had a new one, Myow Mix's anxiety might go through the roof. They just don't have anywhere to send her. The Humane Society is already way over-crowded, and won't always take cats.

I was thinking about taking her. I've got two (well, technically three) problems: I have a roommate now, and she has two parakeets. I could try to teach the kitten to leave them alone, but...y'know. And I just looked at my bank account for this month, and I am broke. Moving is expensive, and I'm not even sure how I'm going to pay my bills this month. I might have to dip into my savings as it is.

Well, I have a few days to think about it. At first I was excited, but it's really starting to hit me how big a commitment this is. Blech.

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I know I haven't been saying a whole lot lately.

Over the past weekend--Thursday to the end of Monday--I've been serving on a Jury, and it's taken up literally the entirety of weekdays; in the US legal system, we're not allowed to say anything about the case to anyone, even our family, until the whole thing is over, which it is. Basically, I was put on a criminal trial involving a housekeeper that was accused of stealing $6,500 from her client/friend by taking money from the ATM with her debit card. Neither the defendant nor the victim told the entire truth during their testimonies, but when it came down to it, we found the woman guilty on all the three counts that she was being charged with (larsony (theft of $1000 or more), identity, unauthorized possession of a financial transaction device aka debit card.)

Tried to put henna in my hair on Saturday, too. However I didn't realize that you're supposed to go for three or so days without washing your hair, since conditioner is basically a protective coat on your hair. So I have to go find more, which is a little difficult in itself, and try again. I also bought a couple movies.

My sister thinks, also, that I should just open a costume shop. Yet another tempting idea for a life decision...I'd probably market more to a higher-end market, and sell harder to find accessories like skirt hoops and such. And it was suggested that I just start with a cellphone app called "instagram," on which I would just post pictures of myself/other dressed up. And I've already got people who want me to make them costumes--one of our waitresses wants to be Princess Leia if it kills her, I swear.

And I've been doing a lot of unsuccessful drawing lately.

Otherwise, not much, but I'll try to get back to posting more again.

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It's the conclusion I came to today, after thinking for a while about an incident at work. But I'll start from the beginning:

There's this hostess who's selfish, lazy-yet-high-strung, bossy...always comes in late, takes twice as long on break as she's allowed. But she's managed to stay just this side of being fired. Our new manager, who is not half as impartial as he tries to be, has been itching to get her on something. So on Saturday, when all the work was done and there were too many girls, she asked him if she could leave. He give a harsh, "No, you may not." Then he takes the schedule, and tells her that obviously two days is too much work for her, and crosses her off next Saturday, and schedules me instead.

When I found out why I'd been scheduled (which, in itself, wasn't a big deal for me), I thought that it was a huge overreaction.

The thing is, he isn't normally that petty about things. When I complained about having my hours cut, he called me to the back to talk; he treats me like a perfectly mature adult, and he acts like one, for the most part. I'm pretty sure that, despite my abruptness of speech and the foot which goes straight to my mouth, I'm one of his favorites. He has a couple, too, including one older woman with severe OCD, but of whom he said, "She's such a sweet woman." I'm glad he likes her, because some of the other managers are unfairly against her.

So in the end, I decided that it's partly his age (he's straight out of college), and partly because I highly that this girl that he lashed out at has ever been an innocent bystander. I think that the automatic reaction to someone acting in a childish, petty way, is to be so yourself. And I think that it's important to stop and tell yourself that you're going to be an adult, even if the other person isn't.

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In other news, we got some really nasty weather--it snowed, and then it rained. We were heading downtown to see a friend's play, and the freeway lights were out (God bless Detroit), but figured it wouldn't get too bad. WRONG. On the way back, there was a good three inches of snow on the roads, and a twenty minute drive turned into a forty minute one.

The play itself was a re-imagining of Ivanov, in a post-apocalyptic world (a little cliche, yeah), and they went and cut the doctor out (Sasha acts as a messanger for him.) We went in thinking it was going to be terrible, especially since our friend was an emergency stand-in. He got the script two weeks before opening night, and he was the lead. Anyway, it turned out to have potential, but there were these experimental bits in it, and I didn't really understand why they had certain things. In the end, it was a little too artsy-fartsy for me, and if that makes me uncultured, so be it.

At least I liked what they did with Misha. And who played him--they had him playing the piano and everything. That, and they stated Chekhov's Law right before Nikolai grabbed the rifle and shot himself, all of which was actually done in a very clever way.

Other than that, all quiet on the home front.

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This ad showed up on my email, no kidding. It's just another indicator of the weight problems in the United States.



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