Compared to a lot of women, I don't get much sexual harassment. I find that my hair being short, never carrying a purse, and always being in pants tends to code me as male just enough that I get left alone more often than not.

Except for the past week, where I've now had two (2!) instances of inappropriate breast grabs.

Instance 1:
canyonwalker and I were flying to our NYE gathering and a broad-shouldered woman decided to sit in the middle seat between us on a Southwest flight. Her elbow also decided to get acquainted with my chest; it's happened before on flights and usually people are just unaware of what they're doing. I moved forward to get out of elbow range; she moved forward with me. I moved backwards; she moved backwards with me. I started to seethe and tried to figure out if I wanted to make a fuss. What finally decided me to say something was that I wouldn't put up with it from a man, so I'm not sure why I have to be "nice" and allow a woman to assault me with impunity.

I politely mention to her that she might not realize she was hitting me in the chest, suggested that there were ways we could sit to both be comfortable (1 forward, 1 back), and said that I didn't care which of those was me. If she realized what she was doing (I think she did, she was probably trying to push me into the window but I wasn't putting up with it), she didn't expect to be called on it. She blustered about how she paid for her seat, she was squashed too, and that I should "just deal with it" because "she wasn't going to stop" and that I needed to "leave her alone".

canyonwalker almost chimed in at that moment that if he (or any other male) had said that they'd be arrested upon landing. I'm glad he didn't, because I suspect it would have inflamed her more - I thought she was barking because she was embarrassed to be called out on her bad behavior and that she'd behave if I let her bluster. That turned out to be the case, though it wasn't the end of her bad behavior. She pushed passed canyonwalker and everyone else at the front of the plane to get off as quickly as possible. My only guess why is embarrassment, as we saw her waiting at baggage claim when we got down there.

I would have made more fuss to the stewardess if she hadn't gotten her bloody elbow out of my body. I'm just glad I didn't need to. I despise the fact that too many people believe that women will be nice if you invade their space, and try to push people around because of that. She KNEW it was going to be a tight squeeze - canyonwalker has large shoulders, just like she did. Maybe she should have tried a different middle seat, that didn't have a broad shouldered person in it rather than decide to try and push people into the window at bad angles.

Instance 2:
I was at my physical therapist yesterday, and a new (to me) male was there helping with the exercises after I saw the PT. One of mine involves moving a muscle just under my breasts. Rather than warning me he was going to touch me - or even trying to go to the lower part of the muscle - he puts his hand on my side breast with no warning.

I pointed out that, when he needs to do something like that, he should warn female patients BEFORE putting his hands on them. He didn't seem to get the point, though I don't think he'll do it to me again. My massage therapist and I spoke about it today, and he was appalled that the assistant did that. I might end up mentioning it to my PT tomorrow when I see him, as I feel more and more creeped out by the lack of understanding he was showing when I mentioned how inappropriate it was.

Or maybe he was embarrassed. However, better embarrassed than sued. Most assistants I've known at PT offices want to become PT's themselves, and awareness of where they are putting their hands on someone's body and appropriate warnings about what you are going to do is pretty paramount. I've been going to therapy for more years than I want to think about and I've never had a therapist need to touch my fatty breast to understand what my muscles underneath are doing.

TL;dr both men and women are perverts who need to keep their body parts off of my breasts!

talons / Rake your talons / Link

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Tags: annoying people, keep your hands to yourself, my body not yours, physical therapy, planes, sexual assault, sexual harassment, side breasts are still breasts, travel