Autism Awareness Month, April 2026

I'm not going to show a video of Diarmuid; I'm just going to describe his behavior on a typical school morning.

D is 19 years old, and will be 20 in a couple months. He gets to stay in the school system til he's about 21 or 22 (I forget).

Lately, he's been coming downstairs at 6am. I don't really need hi up til 7am, but okay. I get him juice, and make sure there are "snacks" available for him: applesauce, Ritz crackers, Lorna Doone cookies. These are the only acceptable offerings, you see. He usually doesn't eat anything, but he's so skinny, I want to make sure there's something there to eat, just in case.

He usually uses the toilet, and lately, I've left him alone for awhile. I might have NHK World on the TV, or some YouTube videos on. He might play on a tablet for a while. 

Then I get his clothes and tell him what the weather will be like today. Lately, he has basketball practice after school. And now... this is when the repetitive statements begin:

D: I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED (he's still in his pajamas)

D: I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED IN TWO MINUTES (picks up the clothes, goes in the bathroom)

D: I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED AT 7AM (getting dressed) 

me: I know you want to play basketball. Can you play basketball from bed?

D: No. I WANT TO GO TO BED

me: I hear you, buddy

[D goes to his keyboard in the front parlor, plays some music]

D: I NEED TO CHECK THE SCHEDULE SO I KNOW WHEN THE SCHOOL DAY ENDS

me: You know this. What time does school end?

D: FIRST I GET ON MY SHOES. THEN BUS. THEN SCHOOL. THEN AAAALL THE WAY TO 2:40. THEN BASKETBALL. THEN GO TO BED.

me: That's right

D: HOW MANY HOURS UNTIL GO TO BED

me: When does basketball end?

D: 3:15.

me: Can you count from now til 3:15? It's 6:45.

[sometimes he can do this, but he usually is stuck in his GO TO BED loop]

I usually walk away several times when he's stuck in this loop, sometimes asking questions or trying to get him to respond to something else. He doesn't actually want to go back to bed, per se, as he willingly got out of bed at 6am (he had been awake for some time — I could hear him upstairs). When he pulled the GO TO BED stuff to me during his spring break, and he was dressed to go to church, I told him he didn't have to go to church with me, which did he want to do — and he went to church with me. He is just stuck with something in his head and can't get out of it.

[D sitting at his keyboard]

me: Here are your glasses. I'll warm up the van and get a juice box. What would you like?

D: Very Berry. I WANT TO GO TO BED IN 5 MINUTES

me: It's 7am. I'll be warming up the car and we can have Weird Al in the van. I'll have a juice box

[D playing the keyboard]

[I walk away to the van]

D does get himself to the van with his stuff in a good amount of time, but it used to take a few hours of me coaxing him out of his room, etc. 

In the van:

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED IN 2 MINUTES

me: [put Weird Al playlist on spotify]

me: here, I have a notepad — do you want to write that down?

D: HOW LONG TO GO TO BED

me: 8 hours

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED AT 8 AM

me: where will you be at 8am?

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED AT 8 AM

me: hey D, where will you be at 8am?

D: school

me: do they have a bed at school?

D: no

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED IN 2 HOURS

D: I WANT MY BED

D: I WANT MY MOM

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED

me: you want your mom? Hey D...

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED IN THREE HOURS

me: Hey D, look at me

D: I WANT TO GO TO BED AFTER SCHOOL

me: yes, I hear you, you can go to bed after school

[note: when he gets home from school, he doesn't actually go to bed ... til 9pm. He takes a shower and then does various other things.]

Anyway, I usually sing along with Weird Al, trying to get D to join in. Sometimes I convince him to doodle on paper. The other day I did a quick kanji quiz with him to divert him. Anything to get him to engage in something other than the loop he's stuck in.

okay, that's enough of that, because that's not the only experience of D. He's not a morning person (yeah). And transitions don't do well with D. But he has come a long way... he just can't express himself well.....

... when he gets home in the afternoon, and has had his shower, he is generally in a great mood. He's flappy hands (that indicates happiness/excitement) and vocalizing (okay, a different way of frying my brain). 

Today, I put on an ELO concert and a Cheap Trick play list... and he was bouncing, flapping hands, and vocalizing. I ended it all with an NPR tiny desk concert of Weird Al. Nighty-night D. 

He went to bed at 9pm (okay a bit after 9pm, because he had to brush his teeth, but not long after that)... but if you'll notice, it wasn't at 7am.