shit day
Today has been awful. Casper is upset with me and my mom is being inconsiderate and lazy.
Oh, and last night I sobbed on my bathroom floor for like ten minutes.
I'm getting out of omaha one way or anorther for a vacation. My mom won a trip to branson so I'm tring to convince her that we should go real soon. Buuut next year I'm going to maine for about a week to hangout with sophie2dopex and goto portcon with her :3
But anywhooo. I feel like shit. I'm depressed and lonely and not happy. I want A REAL RELATIONSHIP with casper. But I doubt that will happen with what happend this morning :/ I guess I'm just not good enough for him :'( idk, I know that he has reason to be upset but I think he's over-reacting... Not gonna go into it though...
Mmm I have some trazadone, I think I'm gonna take some when I get home. Nothing makes the pain go away like sleeping.
I just want to be with him and have a life with him and he's just toying with my heart :/ I don't think he knows that though. Or maybe he does??? Idk. But when he's not upset anymore I'm going to talk to him. Unless I talk to him tonight... But idk when I'm going to see him again soooo, idk.
:/ why is my life being complicated? Maybe I should goto church again? Idk, God has always done so much for me and I'm more than grateful, but I'm not giving back to him :( I just need to talk to him again. Haven't done that in a while :/
Well I'm hopefully leaving for the post office soon then going to my sisters for a lil bit. :/
:'( I'm actually really depressed for the first time in a really long time. That's really bad.
I just want to hold casper and kiss him all night and tell him I love him and have him say it back and mean it. Then I wouldn't be depressed anymore. Huh. Its strange that love can cause depression.
Oh, and last night I sobbed on my bathroom floor for like ten minutes.
I'm getting out of omaha one way or anorther for a vacation. My mom won a trip to branson so I'm tring to convince her that we should go real soon. Buuut next year I'm going to maine for about a week to hangout with sophie2dopex and goto portcon with her :3
But anywhooo. I feel like shit. I'm depressed and lonely and not happy. I want A REAL RELATIONSHIP with casper. But I doubt that will happen with what happend this morning :/ I guess I'm just not good enough for him :'( idk, I know that he has reason to be upset but I think he's over-reacting... Not gonna go into it though...
Mmm I have some trazadone, I think I'm gonna take some when I get home. Nothing makes the pain go away like sleeping.
I just want to be with him and have a life with him and he's just toying with my heart :/ I don't think he knows that though. Or maybe he does??? Idk. But when he's not upset anymore I'm going to talk to him. Unless I talk to him tonight... But idk when I'm going to see him again soooo, idk.
:/ why is my life being complicated? Maybe I should goto church again? Idk, God has always done so much for me and I'm more than grateful, but I'm not giving back to him :( I just need to talk to him again. Haven't done that in a while :/
Well I'm hopefully leaving for the post office soon then going to my sisters for a lil bit. :/
:'( I'm actually really depressed for the first time in a really long time. That's really bad.
I just want to hold casper and kiss him all night and tell him I love him and have him say it back and mean it. Then I wouldn't be depressed anymore. Huh. Its strange that love can cause depression.