this is a post to give credit to the wonderful people who have made me blinkies/icons etc. :) ( creditCollapse )

I'm really happy because I actually went to toys'r'us today and bought my first ever giratina figure!! Theeen I went to my local comic book store and even though they didn't have much to choose from with cards, I got prinplup and duskull cards :) yeah they're not part of my collection, but I do admire them :3

On another note I think I'm gonna try and make a pokemon themed hat. I've always wanted one but I thought if I can make one myself, annnd it turns out good, I could prolly do commisions :3
Also, I think if I get better materials, I'm going to do art comissions.... Hopefully *crosses fingers*

Anywhooo. I was up til 5am and slept til 1pm with my boo :) I love him so <3

Buuut I think he's fallen asleep at home because I cannot get ahold of him. I'm not freaking out as much because A)I know he's super tired B)I'm too tired to be freaking out

Plus I need to stop getting myself worked up over things.... Oh shit but what if I don't worry then something bad actually happens????? O_O mmmm I'm really paranoid... I can't help it though.


But I'm 99.9% sure he's curled up with his puppy sleeping. Chances are he took her on a walk and played with her so their both prolly pooped :3 gosh he's cute. So is she ^w^ baby animals are the cutest, with their cute little faces and trying to always get out of trouble with their cuteness. :) not gonna work on meeeeee! Haha gosh I need some sleep X__X
I gots to babysit in the morning which is okay cause I need to use my sisters scanner/printer anyways. Plus internet on an actual computer goes a lot quicker than a balck berry....not that there's anything wrong with using a blackberry.


DUDE,WTF? SNOW? FREAKING SNOW?!!!???!? ALL NEXT WEEK!!!!!! Damn you nebraska.what with all your corn and.....well,corn O_o


Blahhhh I guess that's all until tomorrow. Sorry I don't do cuts on here, but I'm on a blackberry, remember?


:B

Mmmm you know what sounds really good? Macaroni and cheese with tuna. You should try it. Just mix in like half a can of tuna after you add the cheese. It spices it up a bit :p

Hmmm well I've decided that I want the girtina pokedoll and any of the, I guess you could say, "baby" pokemon? Like pichu,mime jr., happiny, cleffa, etc.

Ugh they are too cute. I would like to just collect plushes and dolls but something tells me I'm gonna collect the tomys and kids too o3o

But there's nothing wrong with that ^w^

So casper is a goofball. Everything is okay between us. But idk... I'm just getting tired. I don't know what he wants. I know I know I need to stop bitching and talk to him already. But I am so afraid of conflict and I'm afraid he'll leave and then I won't have any friends what so ever and I really hate dating people my age. I hate dating in general because of all the shit that comes with it. That's why I'm so happy with casper. Why he's so perfect for me. He knows how to have fun but isn't a whiny little bitch. Well there's more to it than that. Idk. I thought I was in love when I was with my ex, but I wasn't. But I know that I'm in love now. Its weird. I seriously don't give a flying fuck what casper looks like, I love him for who he is, not what he looks like. I guess its just a plus that he does look good though, lol :) but I mean I feel like he's at war with himself sometimes. Trying to be dominant but gentle at the same time :/ idk how to explain it. I wish I could though...hmmmm. He's just so fun and happy and cozy one second, then I blink and suddenly he's upset about something I did or said. I annoy him so easily. I don't mean to though, its just sometimes I think he thinks I'm dumb or something. I guess I'm a little ditzy on the outside, but that's not me. I guess I just act cute to make him smile. I'm not cute though. I'm honestly really caring and outgoing and cuddly and cold all in one. He pisses me off so much but I have to hold myself back because if I get mad at him he gets realllly...strange and mean. But if he gets mad at me, I try to make things better. Its almost like he doesn't care how I feel. I feel like I don't know him. I feel like I'm letting a stranger I'm madly in love with stay over all the time. I mean I KNOW HIM but there's so much he isn't telling me.

U_u *sighs*


I think I'm done rambling for now. Gonna go look for stuff online. Ugh.

Today has been awful. Casper is upset with me and my mom is being inconsiderate and lazy.

Oh, and last night I sobbed on my bathroom floor for like ten minutes.


I'm getting out of omaha one way or anorther for a vacation. My mom won a trip to branson so I'm tring to convince her that we should go real soon. Buuut next year I'm going to maine for about a week to hangout with sophie2dopex and goto portcon with her :3

But anywhooo. I feel like shit. I'm depressed and lonely and not happy. I want A REAL RELATIONSHIP with casper. But I doubt that will happen with what happend this morning :/ I guess I'm just not good enough for him :'( idk, I know that he has reason to be upset but I think he's over-reacting... Not gonna go into it though...

Mmm I have some trazadone, I think I'm gonna take some when I get home. Nothing makes the pain go away like sleeping.

I just want to be with him and have a life with him and he's just toying with my heart :/ I don't think he knows that though. Or maybe he does??? Idk. But when he's not upset anymore I'm going to talk to him. Unless I talk to him tonight... But idk when I'm going to see him again soooo, idk.

:/ why is my life being complicated? Maybe I should goto church again? Idk, God has always done so much for me and I'm more than grateful, but I'm not giving back to him :( I just need to talk to him again. Haven't done that in a while :/


Well I'm hopefully leaving for the post office soon then going to my sisters for a lil bit. :/


:'( I'm actually really depressed for the first time in a really long time. That's really bad.


I just want to hold casper and kiss him all night and tell him I love him and have him say it back and mean it. Then I wouldn't be depressed anymore. Huh. Its strange that love can cause depression.

So I made chicken and dumplings for dinner tonight, except the dumplings where all liquidy and not biscuity :/

Annnnd the potatoes weren't cooked all the way through. So I'm still cooking it but without the dumplings :3

Its really freaking delicious though, and I'm gonna be making it all fall/winter ^w^

Maybe ill share the recipe with you guys ;p


Well didn't do much except goto walmart to get snacks and such :)

Watching extreme makeover:home edition :D

Well ill post again later :D


Bai gaiz!!!

So today was upposed to be a day spent with my mom shopping, BUT she felt sorry for my aunt and invited her with and we were supposed to goto nobbies but for some strange reason we went to hobby lobby. Uhhhmmm WTF??


Well I was just a cold little bitch towards everyone the whole time there...

But now we are headed to nobbies then the store :/

Annnd I'm gonna goto toys'r'us sometime this week :) gonna look for pokemon stuffs :D


Well I think my anger has subsided....for now.

I'm happy because I ordered some pokemon plushes today and a custom pokemon giri :)

But I'm sad because I wanted to see my love, casper :'(


I miss him so much and I haven't heard from him at all today!!! D:


I'm worried. And when I worry, I mean I get baaaaaaaad anxiety :(

I just hope he's safe.

I love him and I hope he likes what I got him :) something tells me he's gonna love it :)

Well not much happend and I couldn't update anyone with pics of my room cause I'm not babysitting :( but maybe sometime this week??? I dunno.



Well that's all I have to really say :/


Later.

Sooo since I didn't have anyone to pick me up from class I just didn't go and cleaned my room instead...well my closet at least :/ ill edit this post tomorrow to put up the pictures of the process and aftermath :) 
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I'm so freakin tired ugh but my moms bringing me tacooo bellll :D

Later bitchezzz

So my dad was in the hospitol last night, apparently his heart skipped a beat. WHICH I'm really paranoid about because my dad has diabetes,is overweight, and has an enlarged heart and has had a stroke before. XC


Buttt we still hung out today. Ate lunch at culvers (their double cheeseburgers are FTW) and then we went and saw The Informer, which was alright, but I wouldn't recomend it :/

I'm dog tired but don't have time to take a nap :( I have class in about two hours and gotta study cause I haven't been there in over a week :x


I feel horrible and if I don't go, casper will be dissapointed and taunt me for it T_T. I loves him fur that tho!!!!!


Well off to study!!!!