Necronomicon – Invasion of the Brain Snatchers

People, I am losing my mind with this lighting.

Accidentally named this post “Invasion of the Brian Snatchers.” I don’t know who Brian is, but he had better watch out!

Most of your inventory is dumped at this point: money, medallion, key that easily could have been removed after you used it but they let you keep it anyways, Dr. Egleton’s phone number, matches you may have tricked the game into letting you keep by skipping the torch puzzle… However, at the same time, your documents archive is updated to include the letter from Procop if it didn’t already, strongly suggesting that it used to be mandatory! 

Like I said, at this point, you want to head back into the hall and find a lamp, which you can light with your new lighter. Now that you have the light source, you can… barely see anything. But more than before!  The poor lighting from the hallway is back for revenge, assailing you even though you have a fucking lamp.  It’s wretched. It gave me a headache so bad that I had to stop writing and go to bed at one point! 

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Necronomicon – The Bungalow of Terrors

Returning home, we get an uncomfortable look at William’s individually-modelled teeth as he talks to Egleton again. We get some audio trouble served up alongsides: a voice clip clearly cut off mid-sound, and some kind of echo or reverb that you can hear when Egleton says the word “house” in the next line.  But enough about bugs and glitches: without any further input from the player, we go to commit Edgar against his will, including two cops whose models are never seen in any other scene!  Edgar shouts literal curses at you, including what I’m pretty sure is Gasman saying “Azanoth” instead of the Lovecrafitan god “Azathoth,” and we get a look at Egleton’s individually-modelled teeth, which is so hideously lit among the shadows that he looks even more demonic than ever. I swear this man is supposed to be one of the heroes, but I am fighting uphill every step of the way.

(After seeing those teeth, again, I originally titled this post “Maws of Doom,” but I didn’t think anyone would realize what I was talking about. After all, you aren’t looking at them right now!)

After some needless advice that you rest before doing the next step (you can’t), you have to search Edgar’s house again, even though we don’t have access to any new rooms. Instead, you have to re-search one of the drawers with no incentive to do so!  I begrudgingly concede that someone can put things into drawers that weren’t there before (wild, I know), but are we sure that’s the way you want to play it in your video game?  After moving a canister of something to the side via a rare, “move to one side” cursor that feels like overkill, you find a small key, and a hand-drawn map indicating a new location.

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Necronomicon – It Came from the Rough Draft Pile

You knock, and Sir Chrisopher (Pollard again. we’ve been seeing a lot of him) answers the front door. The sinister music picks up here again, and he even sounds like he’s giving you a guilt trip when he says you and Edgar used to be close, even though I’m pretty sure this is just meant to be an “as you know”-style block of tacky exposition. Are we sure Christopher and Egleton weren’t meant to be villains? Why does this keep happening? I think the problem is that the devs think we’re playing evil music because we’re talking about the horrible fate of your former friend, when their timing keeps making it happen whenever these “good” characters try to “help” him?

Sir Christopher recites Edgar’s career as of late, which anyone familiar with the tropes will recognize that Edgar, an archaeologist, must have learned some dark and evil secrets in the field, and become obsessed with them, as you do. Sir Christopher steps out briefly to get you a soda (presumably meaning a cocktail, not a coke, although we do seem to be having a theme of “things you forgot were old enough to be popular in the 1920s,” don’t we?), and the game uses this as an excuse for you to poke around, although there’s no obvious reason why: you don’t accomplish or find anything of value before you stand in front of the fireplace and Sir Christopher comes back, trailing his evil BGM behind him.  He sits down, and for the first of many times, we’re expected to continue the conversation not by clicking on the other character, but by doing something of your own accord, even though it feels external to the conversation. Normally, this involves handing them something from your inventory, but not today, and so it might take a while for you to realize you’re supposed to continue searching the room, something you were just doing behind his back, but that the devs interrupted as though you were finished! If you’re like me, you might assume you missed something while he was gone, and be worried that, if you poke around, he’ll accuse you of spying or stealing! You have to click the portrait over the fireplace, which is of Edgar’s maternal ancestor, Gregor Herschell (sometimes spelled, “Herschel”), who supposedly resembles Edgar, to the point of being “uncanny,” but the contrast between 2D art asset and horrible, 3D puppet-man is, shall we say, a step too far to be “uncanny.”

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Necronomicon – The Haunted Grocery Aisle

I’m still stalling for time while I prep for a new project for Sundays! Can you tell? Today, I’m going to return to the subject of the Dracula games, to look at the original creator’s other horror title based on a public domain title.

After the success of Dracula, index+ and its successor, Wanadoo Edition, published several 3D adventure games, and it’s a little hard to say if those games used their own engines, or if the publisher passed around the familiar Dracula engine. As such, I won’t attempt to create a definitive list. Only index+’s own games can be 100% confirmed: Dracula 1, Dracula 2, another game sometimes called The Messenger, and finally Necronomicon: The Dawning of Darkness, aka Necronomicon: The Gateway to Beyond – two titles that refuse to stay in my mind of even one second. I have glanced back at this doc three times in a row just trying to type it into IMDb, it’s embarrassing, though I’ll leave it to you to decide if it’s more embarrassing to me or the game.  Necronomicon is the one that follows in the footsteps of Dracula’s public domain horror angle, so that’s what we’ll be looking at today.  It’s also the only one available for sale at the moment, since The Messenger never reached GOG or Steam for whatever reason. The game was developed concurrently with Dracula 2, and was pushed out a mere two months later!

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Bloody Wolf – Hey! Same words to you!

Wolf #2 hasn’t found any sign of Wolf #1 by the end of the stage, so resolves to go to the enemy HQ (remember, you fought the Boss in a “Detention Camp” that just happened to have really rich furnishing!)  He proceeds to a potentially familiar sight: the Battle Rangers “River” map.  You’ll remember this was originally Battle Ranger’s Stage #3, even though it still seems rough as Bloody Wolf’s Stage 6!

The stage opens with a vertical segment, and a shed that contains no less than six crates in Bloody Wolf, including Steroids, a new piece of permanent equipment called the Infra-Red Scope, as well as two primary and two secondary weapons, leaving you with what might as well be a randomized inventory.  The Battle Rangers also find the scope in their mere two crates, though it’s called the “Ultra-Red Glasses” in that version.

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Bloody Wolf – You stupid! You die!

After the boss battle, Bloody Wolf players reach the enemy Detention Camp, as it’s called in Battle Rangers.  This is Battle Rangers’ final stage! You’ll see why it was moved in good time.  For the moment, I’ll just note that the stage is set against a cliff, so it only makes sense for it to follow The Cliff, like it does in Bloody Wolf. A natural fit!

Battle Rangers’ devs clearly weren’t confident in their subtlety, and has one or both commandos (variant text!) break their vow of silence mid-level, saying that you need to climb the cliff in front of you.  Bloody Wolf realized that there’s nothing else for you to do but climb the cliff (even more obvious because the camera only moves in that direction), and just left you to find it out on your own… but it probably helped that it used a new cliff-side tileset just to be clear.  Battle Rangers’ insistence that there’s “No sentry here” starts to look silly after the enemy starts fucking parachuting past you during your climb.  The parachutists can be rough, because you can’t climb sideways in this game, only up and down!  In Bloody Wolf, the parachutists are carefully arranged so that climbing straight up the middle will get you there safely, but the ones in Battle Rangers will shoot you without a second thought, even though you have no movement options mid-way up a giant wall!

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Bloody Wolf – Chuck,chuck..

Kyle fires a bazooa at the barrels.

You continue sideways through the building.  There are occasional ladders which let you reach the safety of some second storey platforms (not that the game is any good at handling single-tile width objects like ladders), but you’ll have to make careful jumps to stay up there.  If you can manage it, Battle Rangers will give you a POW at the end of the area, who gives you your first Flamethrower. Alternately, Bloody Wolf will give you its first Bazooka.

Outside the building, you end up in the game’s first vertical section, which are infrequent, because the status bar squashes the screen down and doesn’t give you much visibility in those directions.  You’ll fight your serious, blue machine gunner here in both versions, though he’s got a better position in Bloody Wolf.  Battle Rangers also throws in your first enemy paratroopers, who arc back and forth in the air before landing, making them hard to hit and capable of landing some tricky shots, but you can shoot their parachutes to kill them, so they’re a larger target than you’d think.  Unfortunately, this is a poor place for them, and they’ll probably drop clean off the screen while you run past them without even realizing they’re there – Bloody Wolf usually restricts paratroopers to areas where you’re either moving downward (i.e. alongside the paratroopers), or are somehow restricted by platforming or ladders.

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Bloody Wolf – Hot Bullets of Shotgun to Die

Iiiiiiiiiit’s time for a short break! In the years following Dirge of Cerberus, Kyle and I made it a matter of course that we’d record whatever the fuck we were playing.  Generally, if we’re going to take a break from Marathon norms, we’ll be playing something multiplayer, like Heroes of Might & Magic, or that game of Dokapon 3-2-1 that we might finish one of these years, and that doesn’t fit into my usual format… or at least, I’ve never tried it!  But hey, it had to happen eventually.  We’d have to, one day, play something off-schedule that I could talk about on the blog, if only so that it, too, could serve as a short breather.  That day has come.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t go to bat for Bloody Wolf, a good-old-fashioned, 1980s, military-themed, run-and-gun, and other phrases that have hyphens in them.  It’s my favourite TurboGrafx-16/PC-Engine game, though I was never able to beat it until it came out on the Wii Virtual Console.  The game is surprisingly strategic, relying on its infinite lives to let you work out how to get past each situation. Up until playing with Kyle, though, I had also never played its original incarnation, Battle Rangers on the arcade. All I knew about Battle Rangers was its absolutely atrocious localization, with nearly half its text turning out the kind of screenshot you’d happily post to social media.  I am definitely going to be quoting this one.

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Impromptu History of the Megadungeon

So this post by @dialacina is going around right now:

Followed, of course, by this:

And naturally, also by this:

Both posts are followed by dozens of comments listing examples, with an especially strong push towards Diablo I (maybe because Diablo IV came out only a few days ago?), with only a few killjoys willing to break the string of jokes to point out that the comments are a few years off the mark. Well, okay, a few decades off the mark. ………………Okay, okay, fine, “the entire life of modern gaming as a mode of expression” off the mark. And while I appreciate people sticking to the patter and the gag, I also think many people genuinely don’t know the history! And so I, ever the hero, will stand atop the one-hundred level tower of monsters, and be that killjoy.

But not like… on Twitter. I don’t use my Twitter for shit. Just to you nice people.

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