IndieWeb Carnival: Roundup
February has come to an end and with it also ended my experience hosting the 9th edition of the IndieWeb Carnival. To be honest with you, I didn’t know what to expect going into this. Foreverliketh.is—who was the host for the month of January—emailed me one day asking me if I wanted to host one of the upcoming months because the carnival was running short on hosts and I obviously accepted.
His month on the topic of Positive Internalization saw 13 people contributing and so I said to myself “If 10 to 15 people decide to participate in February I’ll consider that a win”.
Well, looks like we got there. I have 44 links in front of me so this is going to be quite the roundup but before we jump into that let me first say thank you to all the people who decided to take the time to participate. You’re all a bunch of awesome people. Also, the Carnival continues and this month’s topic is going to be Accessibility in the Small Web. Look forward to reading your posts there. Now it’s time to dive into the submissions.
Quick overview
As I said before, I have 44 links in front of me. One person contributed 2 posts, 43 of those posts were written specifically for this month’s carnival and 1 was submitted not by its author but by someone else. They thought it was a quality entry and they were right so I decided to include it.
The roundup
It’s 7.42 am, I have my cup of tea in front of me, and it’s time to review all these entries.
On Digital Relationships: Once Upon A Time, I Was A Voxer
There’s no way for me to write up my time as a Voxer both online and off in any way that’s comprehensive or even likely especially coherent. Between the memory deficiencies and the flood of alcohol with occasional marijuana digressions, there’s just not enough to form a full picture. While I appear on the incest map, there are versions that link me to people with whom I did not have a saliva or semen connection. The community was a jumbled mess but there’s also a lot of myth wrapped up in it all. I won’t deny I at least had more than my fair share of crushes, including a photographer who I didn’t actually know very well, although we got along fine, and whose later and far too soon funeral to this day I regret missing. (People still remember you, K.)
I love that this was the first post I received. I am a sucker for stories. I just love them. I love learning about people’s previous lives, about their adventures, about the way they got where they are now. I also love when the physical and the digital intersect and learning about the origin of the name Bix was such a treat.
Digital relationships
Understanding that the generalisability of any study can be questioned, it is worth reflecting that the IndieWeb—made up in large part of text-heavy websites—can help foster meaningful digital relationships, strengthen social support and feelings of satisfaction associated with these relationships. And because a key, if indirect, result of the IndieWeb movement is to promote a balance of creation and consumption, it is all the more powerful a tool to employ in strengthening digital relationships of humans through the web.
VH post was the starting point for so many interesting deep dives and I’m going to write at least a few posts thanks to this. I loved the parallelism between the IndieWeb and the physical interactions.
On digital relationships: I miss my gaming buddies
By James
Looking back, all this happened in a flash. At the time, it felt like aeons.
I loved this entry focused on gaming because I personally have so many great memories that are related to that. The hours spent with three weirdos—you know who you are—playing co-op games on the PS4 during the pandemic days will stay with me forever. So many laughs, and so many great moments.
Digital Relationships
We’re still dating. I mean… I married her, but we still date too.
Jamie’s post made me smile because it’s such a lovely story. One I can relate to all too well. I might tell my story at some point. Maybe.
The four phases
In the first era, technology was here to catalogue us.
In the second, it was here to empower us.
In the third, it was here to observe us.
In the fourth, it is here to replace us.
I’m wondering what the fifth phase is going to look like. This is the type of post I love to read. Full of interesting information and thought-provoking.
Digital Relationships
It's a struggle to slow the cadence of the web and our daily social interactions; to avoid becoming over-stimulated the second we wake up in the morning. And it's for this reason I find myself gravitating towards natural activities of the past—without a screen. Albeit with a slightly different landscape and a more focused mindset.
This is something I’m also experiencing. And it’s paradoxical in a way. I retreated from social media years ago to hide in my digital corner and do my own things. I spend more time outside, walking, enjoying nature, and listening to birds. And yet what’s left of my online life is a lot more meaningful.
Digital Relationships
By Steve Ledlow
How a family sits around a table in public all staring at their phones carrying on relationships digitally with everyone other than those sitting in close physical proximity is a tip of the societal scale that disturbs me. How others begin, navigate and end romantic relationships exclusively with digital mechanics confuses me. The fact that our world seems to be trending toward more technology that replaces the relationship with more digital depresses me.
The large-scale implications of technology are something that worries me a lot. It’s one of those topics I find myself returning over and over again. Another topic I need to explore more on this site.
The Technology Mediated Relationships
By Sara Jakša
And people are trying to solve this for themselves. Which is why there are so many different online spaces and different ways of communication online. But that also means, that there is no way to have one way to communicate with everybody.
I couldn’t help to ask myself if that’s necessarily a bad thing. Do we actually need a way to communicate with everybody? Maybe we want some friction in the system. Maybe the fact that not everyone is willing to use emails is why emails are still the best way to have one-to-one interactions online.
Oh the People You'll Meet: A Visual Timeline of Human Connections
It’s not bad to know many people. The value of a substantial social network is quite high. But having just one close person to go to when you’re feeling down… how many average relationships is that worth? Who feels deep happiness for you when something good happens in your life? Who can you make beautiful memories with?
I couldn’t agree more. Like everything in life, what matters is to find a good balance. You want plenty of interactions to keep your mind stimulated and your points of view challenged and the digital world is perfect for that. But you also want at least a couple of close IRL relationships.
People & Content #5: Networking
By Matt Stein
My favorite of these networked-but-not-online spectacles were the LAN parties we’d have in high school.
LAN PARTIES! Those were dope. I still remember playing UT99 with a bunch of people at an improvised LAN party in a garden. And there was pizza. UT99 and pizza. What more can you ask from life? I should probably look into setting up a server to play UT99 with people. Could be fun.
Digital Relationships Offer Real Hope
By Barry Hess
I try to imagine what my life would look like if I was stuck with only the relationships geographically close to me. I have those relationships as well, and I treasure them, but they simply cannot offer the diversity of thought, background, and experience that digital relationships allow. I’m so incredibly thankful to live in an era where I can have the best of both worlds.
The global nature of the web is an underappreciated quality. Like, can we just stop for a second and appreciate the fact that I’m typing this while sitting in Italy and you’re reading this somewhere else on the globe? It’s fucking amazing.
9.12 am: time for a break. Can’t believe I’m only a quarter of the way through this roundup post.
9.37 am: I’m back!
On Influencers and Parasocial Relationships
So yeah The early Internet gave us opportunities for interpersonal relationships. The modern Internet gives us parasocial relationships.
I love Devastatia’s website. It’s absolutely everything mine isn’t and I love that. I also loved her post because it touches on another topic I plan to write about at some point. Parasocial relationships are fascinating and disturbing.
A Kafkaesque digital relationship with ourselves
Leaving the corporate web is not enough. Refusing to follow influencers with their incessant broadcasting of self-promotion is not enough. Repopulate an RSS reader with brilliant blogs from newfound like-minded people is not enough. Homepages dressed as business cards are everywhere, convinced as we are that presenting ourselves as a product is the only way to go.
I wrote about personal branding back in 2017 and my opinion on the topic hasn’t changed. Reading Simone’s post made me want to rewrite my About page though.
The evolution of online BFFs
By Karen
Some of my good friends I still haven’t met! We only communicate online in assorted ways. We text, we send each other memes and voice messages and emails. I count them as some of my very best friends and they have been there for me in some of my darkest moments.
This is one of those things that people can’t fully understand until they try for themselves. It’s incredible how much you can connect with others via the digital space.
Anonymous, asynchronous friendships
Others, I’ve gotten to know in real life. And it’s a wonderful sensation when you meet someone for the first time in a pub and the usual “getting to know a stranger” feeling isn’t there at all. We would continue the discussions we’ve had for years without a hitch.
It really is incredible how normal it feels when you finally meet someone in person. Probably 2 hours after having met Rob in person we were wandering the woods chasing howls as if that’s the most normal thing to do with someone you only just met. But it was perfectly normal because we were friends. And we still are.
Far but close
But it all starts on the internet, on the old independent web, where there’s no algorithm and no digital gods telling us what we can and can’t see. It all starts there but it all continues somewhere else. It continues in our hearts. Because it doesn’t matter what channel or app we use to communicate, as long as we have the will. Because whatever app we use, a friend will be on the other side. We can enjoy whatever platform we have while it exists, and we can move on when it ceases to exist. It doesn’t matter if the platform stays or not, what matters is that friends will be there, friends will stay.
I love this. And I love mail! I keep thinking that maybe I should set up a PO Box and start connecting at an even slower pace. Maybe after I moved and I finally have a home I’m gonna do just that.
One Degree of Kevin Bacon - Digital Relationships in the 21st Century
By Andrei
Even if these persons are remote, they still mean the world to us, we still care about them, we love them and they are our friends.
This is another aspect I love about true relationships. They flow. They change, they evolve, they move from digital to physical but they still mean something, no matter the circumstances.
Zero Degrees of Kevin Bacon - Digital Relationships Addendum
By Andrei
In the end, looking back at all the time we spent, I realized I just enjoyed your company, but I actually never knew you at all.
Thank you for writing this Andrei. It felt oddly therapeutic reading this story.
On digital relationships
Belonging and connecting are battles between in-person and screen time. I struggle to balance digital and in-person interaction; as I push myself to live in the present, connecting with someone digitally lets me sometimes feel I’m not since I’m somewhere else with my mind.
I think this is something we as a society have to confront at some point. Especially with younger generations growing up so connected. The struggle is real and it is a struggle. And we have to do something about it.
A neighborhood blog
By Yaidel
In a neighborhood everyone knows who is the fool, who is the one who talks a lot, who is the one who always tells lies, the honest one, the teacher, the doctor, the veterinarian, the one who steals, etc. But not on the Internet.
This is why I try to be as honest with myself as possible on my site. I don’t try to perform, don’t try to create a persona. I try to be who I am, following my interests, and not trying to be distracted by anything else.
I ♥︎ Plain Digital Text
By Aleem Shaun
In a world bombarded by advertising, algorithms and apps that encourage us to scroll forever, plain text reminds me there’s more to life than the trappings of digital excess.
I’m with you. I fucking love plain text. I’m writing this post in markdown, my to-do lists are just markdown. Text is powerful.
Writing As a Relationship
By C Jackdaw
I believe that co-writing is an excellent practice for long-term relationship partners. It can keep things fresh and exciting, allowing you to literally fall in love all over again with someone you've been married to for ten years. More than once I've seen something we're writing reflect back to me something I've been thinking about but not been able to solve on my own; solving the problem on the page is a relief.
This was such a fascinating read into something I never even thought it was a thing that people do. And this is why I love the web. It allows me to discover all sorts of interesting things.
10.42 am: Halfway through the list. Can I just say that I loved going through the posts a second time? You’re all so nice and cool and interesting. What an enjoyable experience this is.
Communicating online and building relationships
While lots of people seem to be able to build connections through large chats, for me forums just allowed me think a bit more about what the person I was talking to actually meant.
I still think forums are underappreciated and I also still think I should set up one at some point. Also, thank you for sharing that bash.org exchange because it was hilarious.
Digital excuses
I’m not going to apologize, though, because this is my indie blog and my indie post and my indie state of mind. I’m a boomer, but I intend to take full advantage of the modern whining trend.
You do you sir! Jokes aside, tech is a blessing and a curse. Especially when it becomes unmanageable. And sometimes I think the only solution to tech problems is more tech. Which is silly but it’s a silly world the one we live in.
A Love Letter to my Laptop
As I’m writing this, I can’t help but think maybe this relationship is strange. Maybe I have too much dependence on my devices and that I shouldn’t rely on technology so much. I shouldn’t be so materialistic or be so attached. But when you spend that much time during some of your most profound years with any one thing, living or otherwise, it is bound to become sentimental.
It’s odd how we can feel an attachment to objects but it’s something I can absolutely relate to. I don’t own many things but there are a bunch I care about and I’d feel really sad if I were to lose them. Also, this post made me want to go back to working on a laptop, something I’m missing these days.
Digital tools may create life long relationships
By Anton Sten
I think people are keen on comparing digital relations to physical relations, but I don’t think they are easily comparable. They are the same, but different.
I think sometimes we lack words to describe these things. I keep saying things like “Digital” or “IRL” but those don’t fully capture the spirit of the things I’m trying to communicate. We need a better vocabulary for the digital world.
11.12 am: life is calling, have to stop now. But don’t worry, I’ll be back.
8.51 am: it’s a new day, time to finish writing this roundup.
Digital Relationships; or, How I Met My Wife and Why I Might Not Try That Again
I am careful to remember that you too are just a voice in the dark. We have never spoken. We have never shared a meal together. We have never shaken hands or embraced. We have never stood side by side against a common enemy with our actual and only lives at stake. As tempting as it is to forget the body when online, we are not daemons or spirits without bodies. We are human beings, embodied and earthbound, and any bonds we forge should take that into account.
I love Matthew’s post. As I said to him, his story reminds me of mine in a way. Again, maybe I’ll write about it one day.
Digital relationships with our past
The unguided nature of the app allows people to reflect on these experiences, instead of providing them with a ready-made interpretation or a written text to read or skip. Left alone, immersed in these soundscapes, we are forced to reflect on our emotions triggered by sound and visual elements, thus building a unique relationship with the past and with the archaeological site.
I very much enjoyed this entry because it tackles a completely different type of digital relationship, one I never spent time thinking about. I’m now so intrigued by the concept of digital archeology.
On digital relationship
By Bacardi55
Some people think it is impossible to have meaningful exchanges / relationships with other without seeing each other, but I disagree. It is even sometime better to talk to people you don’t see, some topics are easier that way. Yes written communication are more complex because some information can not be shared (body language, tone - in particular irony and sarcasm, …), but that doesn’t prevent people to find a way to interact that works for them and create true companionship, friendship or more.
I think that sometimes not having access to non-verbal communication can be a good thing. You’re forced to focus on the actual message because that’s all you have.
Stories of digital relationships
By Mick
And none of this would’ve ever happened, if I hadn’t trusted that the “virtual” people beyond the screen can be even realer than the “real” ones.
Trusting the people on the other side of the screen can be challenging. Because, sadly, the web—and the world in general—is full of dickheads. But I can tell you from experience that it’s also full of kind people.
Digital Relationship Reminiscenc
By Basil
All good things come to an end. People moved on as the platform struggled with some technology changes and my online life once again reverted to the mainstream social networks, meaning news consumption on Twitter and sharing posts with real world contacts via Facebook and WhatsApp.
This is one of the sad truths about the web in general and why I also think personal sites are the best way to stay online: platforms come and go. The only place you can count on still being there in 10 or 15 years is the one you control.
Digital relationships
The rules of engagement changed. Where our digital playgrounds once were about hanging out and shooting the shit with friends, they now became something else. People started optimising. Optimising what? Everything. What they said, how they said it and when they said it. All in an effort to gain more friends. We still called them friends at that point. But the veil quickly fell away and the term followers eventually took the place of friends. And rightly so, because you can’t optimise for friendship.
The fact that people managed to build careers out of being active on social platforms is one of the big tragedies of the modern web.
Websites as a catalyst for personal relationships
On the dominating platforms of today, nobody will ever be a citizen, not even a customer. We're only good enough to be a user. But outside of the walled gardens, there are still ample opportunities. We can form relationships, participate in debate, cultivate a corner of and shape the digital medium. All these verbs - nota bene - have in common that they are active.
That’s why I always encourage people to write publicly but to also email others and create connections. The open web requires effort but it will also reward you for doing so.
The Downside of Digital Relationships
The internet may connect us to the whole world, but I think that the convenience is making us disconnect from each other in the offline world.
Digital relationships can be a trap and it’s absolutely vital to have a good balance. Like almost everything in life, we need balance. And it’s important to always keep that in mind.
Seven Year Itch
In the end, that's the beauty of digital relationships. You can borrow someone's partner without harming their relationship.
This was such a hilarious way to close a post.
Crying Out
What I am slowly coming to realize is that there is a mismatch in pace between my conceptions of real life vs. internet. Everything online seems to be moving at incredible speeds
That’s one of the reasons why spending more and more time cultivating my online corner. The web is just too vast and moves at such a stupid speed that you end up always feeling left behind.
The Internet's Tower of Babel
In the early days of the internet, these protocols were established. Email or the web itself were created upon open protocols for everyone to make use of. A shared language on the internet was born.
It’s amazing that the fundamentals of the web are still there, still allowing us to run our websites and still allowing us to interact via email.
Software Is Built Online
What is wild to me, is how many of these projects are managed on a volunteer basis. While some people are fortunate to be paid to work on open source software, most projects are primarily one person spending their free evenings trying to understand the questions people submit and make the project better for everyone.
It’s incredible how much of the web is the result of a relatively small number of people spending their free time working on projects for the simple fact that they care about this platform.
Virtual Intimacy and Emotional Bonds
Many of us desire a form of intimacy and emotional bond from those important to us. Oftentimes the only way to get these is through a virtual medium. We want to foster deep emotional connections with the absence of physical proximity.
The ability to connect through distance is one of technology's best qualities. And it was painfully obvious during the COVID days.
Rebuilding Digital Relationships
By Al Abut
Now, it’s like a good chunk of the world took an intensive course on online communication in the last 4+ years and decided that well what do you know? Those geeks were on to something.
Funny how things change. It’s also interesting how remote work can open the doors to a lot more possibilities in life. You no longer have to live in the same place—or close—where your workplace is.
Digital Relationships
By Microbyte
on large social media, everything is drowned out, compacted, an endless stream, which, even without technical limits causes more compactness, which causes more abstractions. Meanwhile, forums tend to lend themselves to more long-form communications. And to compound on that previous point, on social media a true conversation is nearly impossible, always getting drowned out.
That’s why I left social media long ago. I found it more performative than social.
The Neon God
We converse as phantoms, the diluted remnants of intimacy’s essence, and yet still, somehow, retain the gall to call that a “relationship”.
This was such a wild read but it reminded me the time I decided to watch Serial Experiments Lain back in the early 2000s. I Should probably rewatch that anime.
digital life
I wish you were closer. But I’m glad that we’re here.
This is how I feel about the majority of my online interactions. Sometimes I wish I was closer to those people but at the same time I’m glad I have the opportunity to interact with them,
Email Is a Good Fence
By Lawrence
The fence of email offers the perfect hedge between peace and a nearly frictionless, noisy, text messaging environment.
This was submitted by Nutchanon Wetchasit and the post was not written for the Carnival but I loved the fence metaphor and that’s why I decided to include it. And you also might not be surprised to know that I agree with the content of the post. Because you all know that I love emails.
10.34 am: we got to the end! Thank you all again for taking the time to write and submit content for the Carnival. Running it was a blast and I loved reading all your entries. I look forward to reading your entries for this month’s carnival!