{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"Liam's write-only LJ","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/","description":"Liam's write-only LJ - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Sun, 04 Jan 2026 22:53:53 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/4401328\/461964","title":"Liam's write-only LJ","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/","width":"88","height":"31"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310412.html","pubDate":"Thu, 24 Feb 2022 18:40:21 GMT","title":"Blog moving.","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310412.html","description":"20 years was a long time, and it makes me a little sad, but there are things I want to say that I am not allowed to say on LiveJournal...<br \/><br \/>So, this blog is closing down. You'll find me over at <a href=\"https:\/\/lproven.dreamwidth.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Dreamwidth<\/a> now.<br \/><br \/>I've moved all the content, but sadly, comments didn't transfer. I will leave this here, but future updates will happen over there.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310412.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310058.html","pubDate":"Tue, 08 Feb 2022 10:57:23 GMT","title":"Let's celebrate! My blog is 20 years old","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310058.html","description":"<figure class=\"aentry-post__figure aentry-post__figure--text-width aentry-post__figure--has-text\" data-figure-type=\"image\" data-image-type=\"standart\">\n            <div class=\"aentry-post__img--text-width\">\n              \n                <img style=\"max-width: 100%\" src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/ESN\/journal_birthday\/Card_20.png\" alt=\"Blimey. Twenty years. I don&apos;t use it much any more but it isn&apos;t dead, honest.\" title=\"Blimey. Twenty years. I don&apos;t use it much any more but it isn&apos;t dead, honest.\" fetchpriority=\"high\" \/>\n              \n              <figcaption>Blimey. Twenty years. I don&#039;t use it much any more but it isn&#039;t dead, honest.<\/figcaption>\n            <\/div>\n          <\/figure>\n<p><br><\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/310058.html?view=comments#comments","category":"#ljanniversary"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309963.html","pubDate":"Sun, 19 Dec 2021 14:58:25 GMT","title":"The crumbling Thwaites Glacier","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309963.html","description":"I shared a news article that gradually spread across a lot of the media last week. I said:<br \/><br \/>TIL (Today I Learned) that the state of Florida is bigger than England + Wales, and only a bit smaller than all of the island of Britain.<br \/><br \/>How did I learn that? Oh, because so is the Thwaites Glacier. It&#39;s the one that holds back the West Antarctic Ice Sheet.<br \/>Well, held. It&#39;s crumbling.<br \/><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2021\/dec\/18\/scientists-watch-giant-doomsday-glacier-in-antarctica-with-concern\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Scientists watch giant &lsquo;doomsday&rsquo; glacier in Antarctica with concern<br \/>Cracks and fissures stoke fears of breakup that could lead to half-metre rise in global sea levels &ndash; or more<\/a><br \/><br \/>This got some reactions, as it should, but of course, it also aroused (as ever, ill-informed) scepticism. It seems inevitable. So I tried to answer some queries.<br \/><br \/>&gt; Their maths isn&#39;t very good. First they say it&#39;s the size of England, then they say it&#39;s 50 miles wide.<br \/><br \/>Hint: it&#39;s not square.<br \/><br \/>Here&#39;s a fairly explanatory pic.<br \/><img alt=\"Vox Thwaites glacier map.jpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/ic.pics.livejournal.com\/lproven\/461964\/756\/756_900.jpg\" title=\"Vox Thwaites glacier map.jpeg\" fetchpriority=\"high\" \/><br \/><br \/>(Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vox.com\/2020\/7\/14\/21324197\/antarctica-glacier-thwaites-climate-change\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Why scientists are so worried about this glacier)<\/a><br \/><br \/>If that narrow bottleneck goes, then the rest slides into the sea rapidly. It doesn&#39;t need to melt, any more than ice cubes dropped into a glass need to melt to make the glass overflow. It doesn&#39;t matter if they take decades to melt; the sea-level rise due to displacement will take only about 12 days to spread out and equalise worldwide.<br \/><br \/>The key point here is that the fairly narrow point where the glacier flows into the sea is a bottleneck, and once the bung is removed, the flow speeds up.<br \/><br \/>Another said:<br \/><br \/>&gt; TIL that the estimated time it could take for the doomsday glacier to melt has reduced from 40<br \/>&gt; years to just five years in the space of seven months.<br \/><br \/>It doesn&#39;t need to melt. It doesn&#39;t really <i>matter<\/i> when it melts.<br \/><br \/>The West Antarctic Ice Sheet is sitting on rock that is below sea level. Ice is very slightly less dense than water. That means it floats. If water gets underneath the ice, it slides into the sea and floats off. It displaces vast amounts of water and the sea-levels rise.<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/ic.pics.livejournal.com\/lproven\/461964\/1087\/1087_original.png\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\"><img alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/ic.pics.livejournal.com\/lproven\/461964\/1087\/1087_900.png\" title=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" \/><\/a><br \/>It is not about melting. Melting could take decades to centuries but it&#39;s irrelevant. It&#39;s when it floats away that is important.<br \/><br \/>And the Thwaites glacier is one of the 2 main points that the WAIS pours out into the sea.<br \/><br \/>I added some other articles:<br \/><br \/>BBC News: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.com\/news\/science-environment-59644494\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Thwaites: Antarctic glacier heading for dramatic change<\/a><br \/><br \/>NBC News:<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/science\/environment\/antarctic-ice-shelf-crack-raise-seas-feet-decade-scientists-warn-rcna8918\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Antarctic ice shelf could crack, raise seas by feet within decade, scientists warn<br \/>Thwaites, the widest glacier in the world, has doubled its rate of melt in the last 30 years, a researcher said.<\/a><br \/><br \/>Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences at the University of Colorado Boulder:<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/cires.colorado.edu\/news\/threat-thwaites-retreat-antarctica%E2%80%99s-riskiest-glacier\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">The Threat from Thwaites: The Retreat of Antarctica&rsquo;s Riskiest Glacier<br \/>Ice sheet&rsquo;s demise poses the biggest threat for sea-level rise this century<\/a><br \/><br \/>&gt; The article refers throughout to Antarctic ice &quot;thinning and melting&quot;<br \/><br \/>I specifically already addressed this.<br \/><br \/>If you are lying in a bath tub &amp; the water is within millimetres of the rim, which will cause it to overflow quicker?<br \/><br \/>[a] Turning on the taps and adding 10 litres of water. That takes 1 minute using typical bath taps.<br \/><br \/>[b] Dropping 10kg of ice cubes into the water, in one motion. 1kg of ice is 1 litre, in case you don&#39;t know your SI units. I&#39;m a sprightly 54 but I don&#39;t speak fluid ounces and all that stuff I&#39;m afraid. It doesn&#39;t matter in this context.<br \/><br \/>If I tip a 10kg bag of ice cubes into a full bath, it will overflow immediately. If I pour water in at 10l\/min it will take tens of seconds.<br \/><br \/>No, it is not about melting. It is about adding ice to the oceans, which adds mass. Archimedes&#39; principle etc. Crystalline solids are a state of matter, a phase. It is irrelevant what phase the water is in; it&#39;s how much you add.<br \/><br \/>&gt; Since 1950, the waters south of the Antarctic Circumpolar Current have warmed at a rate of only 0.02&ordm;\/decade.<br \/><br \/>The poster didn&#39;t say degrees F or C.<br \/><br \/>But I submit that the numbers are irrelevant. The poles are warming much faster than the rest of the globe, but because most of Antarctica is a big raised continent with the icecap on top, it&#39;s much less in there. *Except* the Antartic peninsular &ndash; the long spur that points towards South America &ndash; which is the fastest-warming land on the planet:<br \/><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/council.science\/current\/blog\/climate-explained-why-is-the-arctic-warming-faster-than-other-parts-of-the-world\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Climate explained: why is the Arctic warming faster than other parts of the world?<\/a><br \/><br \/>The southern polar ocean is warming faster than the oceans as a whole:<br \/><br \/><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/discoveringantarctica.org.uk\/challenges\/sustainability\/impacts-of-climate-change\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Antarctica has experienced air temperature increases of 3&deg;C in the Antarctic Peninsula. Although that might not seem very much, it is 5 times the mean rate of global warming as reported by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).<\/a><br \/><br \/>The numbers may look small but the changes are vast. As a comparison, the Gulf Stream transports about 0.8 of a petaWatt of energy from the equator to the north pole. A fraction of a unit doesn&#39;t sound impressive. But the total energy output of humanity is about 23 teraWatts (2018 figures, latest I can find.)<br \/><br \/>1 PW = 1000 TW.<br \/><br \/>So humanity produces 0.023 PW. The very slightly warmer water flowing up the east coast of North America transports about <b>35 times<\/b> the total energy output of humanity.<br \/><br \/>I have seen other estimates it&#39;s more like 60 times.<br \/><br \/>Which means that any human attempt to change the Gulf Stream is pretty futile. A mosquito pushing on the prow of a supertanker.<br \/><br \/>But the increase in CO\u2082 levels humanity has accomplished, from 280 parts per million before the Industrial Revolution to 410 now, is more than enough to trap enough heat to melt Greenland faster than it&#39;s collecting snow in winter, dumping over 500 thousand million tonnes of freshwater into the Arctic ocean and slowing the Gulf Stream, which is powered by warm, saltier water cooling and sinking to the bottom in the Arctic ocean.<br \/><br \/>The numbers look small but the real effects are <b>vast<\/b> and impossible to imagine on human scales. 0.2&ordm;F (my guess as to what they meant) sounds like nothing, it seems trivial, but it&#39;s huge.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309963.html?view=comments#comments","category":["climate","thwaites"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309664.html","pubDate":"Fri, 24 Sep 2021 16:03:05 GMT","title":"Oops! Wrong blog.","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309664.html","description":"That should have been over here:<br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/liam-on-linux.livejournal.com\/82328.html'>https:\/\/liam-on-linux.livejournal.com\/82328.html<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309664.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309165.html","pubDate":"Fri, 23 Jul 2021 17:10:53 GMT","title":"Why I support private spaceflight over, say, charitable giving by sportspeople","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309165.html","description":"Unchecked capitalism is rapidly destroying the climate and most of the life on the planet. The <a href=\"https:\/\/humoncomics.com\/mother-gaia\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Earth will be fine <\/a>-- it&#39;s survived at least half a dozen mass extinctions before. But we might not.<br \/><br \/>We face a choice of 2 options:<br \/><br \/>&bull; End capitalism, free markets, consumerism, globalism, and democracy. Move into a period of degrowth, massive population shrinkage, switch to green technologies, a low-power way of life for the remaining population: no international travel, no flying, no cars, etc.<br \/><br \/>This is probably the best way but it&#39;s extremely hard, nobody really knows how to do it, and there are a vast number of extremely powerful entrenched entities implacable opposed to it.<br \/><br \/>&bull; Or, embrace growth and expansion, in which case there is only one place to go: move industry and power generation off the Earth and into space. Meantime, switch to greener tech here, such as mass solar power generation, electric cars, telecommuting, etc.<br \/><br \/>To do option 2, we <b>need<\/b> cheap, accessible space transport. Governments only did it in the 1960s to show off, and once the race was won, they stopped trying. They did it with extremely expensive, disposable vehicles, and as soon as their flags were planted, they stopped doing the hard stuff.<br \/><br \/>Some will now exclaim &quot;but the ISS!&quot; The ISS is about 220 miles, 350km, above us. You could bicycle that in a couple of days and drive it in an afternoon. No human has been further from the earth than that in about half a century, and there is no prospect of any government doing that very soon. Only Russia and China can currently do it; the American government gave up on it with the end of the Space Shuttle programme.<br \/><br \/>But SpaceX has done it repeatedly in the last year.<br \/><br \/>Yes, billionaires are going to space (or at least out of the atmosphere). Because only the biggest wealthiest companies can afford to do it. Because it costs billions, so <i>only billionaires can afford it<\/i>.<br \/><br \/>Yes, arguably, we shouldn&#39;t have private citizens who can afford their own space programmes. Our governments ought to be doing it, and they ought to be taxing those people to pay for it as well as for free healthcare and education and much more.<br \/><br \/>But they aren&#39;t.<br \/><br \/>So be glad that somebody is.<br \/><br \/>It doesn&#39;t matter why. What matters is that if the economy continues to grow on Earth and only on Earth it will kill all of us. There is only one place else it <b>can<\/b> grow, and that is space, where there is no air or water to pollute, no life to exterminate.<br \/><br \/>We <b>need<\/b> to embrace and support SpaceX and Virgin Galactic and Blue Origin. They are, for venal reasons, the trailbreakers of literally and precisely <i>the only place we have to go<\/i>.<br \/><br \/>The human race needs cheap spaceflight. We need solar power satellites. We need cheap lunar helium for fusion reactors.<br \/><br \/>It is <b>by far<\/b> the easiest path out of the mess we&#39;re in.<br \/><br \/>Yes, these early efforts are a bit poor. They are short hops, barely out of the atmosphere, not really into space at all and only just out of the atmosphere. They fall straight back.<br \/><br \/>But look at the context here.<span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\"> SpaceX <i>nearly<\/i> screwed the pooch. Falcon-1 launches #1, #2 &amp; #3 all went wrong and were aborted, destroying their science payloads. Only the 4th worked &ndash; and delivered a bunch of scrap iron to LEO.<\/span><br \/><br \/><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">So many companies\/efforts have tried and failed: Xcor, Armadillo Aerospace, HOTOL, Planetary Resources, Deep Space Industries...<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">This stuff is <i>hard<\/i>. Spaceplanes are <i>hard.<\/i> Launching from a plane is <i>hard<\/i>. Landing rockets is <i>hard:<\/i> no superpower ever managed it, because governments aren&#39;t much worried about cost.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">No, Virgin &quot;Galactic&quot; aren&#39;t going into orbit with their current tech. Blue Origin are planning to, although they can&#39;t yet. But they got humans out of the atmosphere <i>and back<\/i> safely and <i>that&#39;s a big deal<\/i>. Only a handful of major nations ever did that before, and just 3 private companies have ever managed in history.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">But the Wright Brothers only flew less than the wingspan of a 747 first time. They only managed 26 seconds and 846 feet. Not so impressive. But look what it eventually led to.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">I used to live within walking distance of arguably the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Surrey_Iron_Railway\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">first public railway in the world<\/a>. It was horse-drawn, and it was replaced by a canal -- arguably a step backwards. <\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">But still, it was an important forerunner, and today a tramline I used to use a lot runs on that track. It wasn&#39;t a big deal in itself but my points are that what it led to was hugely important, and <i>it&#39;s still around <\/i>in some form.<\/span><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Yes, the first efforts at anything are a usually rubbish compared to what comes later. But SpaceX set a benchmark and now others are striving towards that, and that IMHO is wonderful stuff.<\/span><\/div><\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/309165.html?view=comments#comments","category":["blue origin","spacex","virgin galactic","space"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308921.html","pubDate":"Fri, 11 Jun 2021 11:29:21 GMT","title":"Fun with Czech! [cont. from p.94] #projectPrague","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308921.html","description":"<div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Yesterday&#39;s Czech lesson was in the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Locative_case#Czech\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Locative case<\/a>. <\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Locative, <i>lok&aacute;l<\/i>, the declension for the state of being in a location. Used only after <i>v<\/i> (in), <i>na<\/i> (on or to), <i>po<\/i> (past, after, on, to, for, by &ndash; yes, all of them), <i>p\u0159i<\/i> (by, nearby, with) &amp; <i>o<\/i> (about, with). Although <i>s<\/i> is normally &quot;with&quot;. Except if the word starts with a vowel, then it&#39;s <i>se<\/i>, although that normally marks a reflexive verb. <b>Lots<\/b> of verbs are reflexive.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">The locative is, naturally, different for all four genders, and in the plural, and there are different endings depending on the final letter, or possible the penultimate letter, or possibly both, or you might drop the penultimate vowel, and then you might change the last letter.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><b><i><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">*Brief pause for broken weeping*<\/span><\/i><\/b><br \/><br \/><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">One of the problems with learning Czech is that Czech people only do very basic grammar at school, so unless they have special training, they don&#39;t know how it works -- they just do these many incredibly complex convolutions, like declensions on multiple different plurals of irregular nouns in a hierarchical gender system, without thinking. <\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Which means that, because they <b>don&#39;t know they are doing it<\/b>, they can&#39;t <b>not<\/b> do it in order to, say, make life easier for a beginner. They can&#39;t stop doing something they&#39;re not aware of doing, nor can they explain it. <\/span><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Many years ago my then-lodger <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/ulrike.grote?__cft__[0]=AZW3Zz-VqxzoNZf3gU7QpNrDZCAaS2JF0rLmh-aon63zUp0FQOyzmAw396jnGT8DuEqERlgoOdU9-1O7wE-M1E8wj4Yp1bk-oRFD-4a3WxnPj2TRV2iqmXZ9zpS7pi6RAaFKfyIifp1RGxe38AP1NRutpyOwP538MIxZa-_Y6I0vtr1E7a0_B37sOZODtlTEQTA&amp;__tn__=R]-R\" role=\"link\" tabindex=\"0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"\"><span>Ulrike<\/span><\/span><\/a> asked me what the difference between &quot;who&quot; and &quot;whom&quot; was, &amp; I had to think hard to answer.<br \/><br \/>But I could, and it maps easily onto one structure of her native German, so from then on she used them perfectly &ndash; better than a native. We English-speakers only have he\/him, she\/her etc. and it only applies to pronouns, not to normal nouns or to possessives.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Czech has cases for:<\/span><\/div><ol dir=\"ltr\"><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing doing the verb<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing being owned (also, all plurals &gt;=5)<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing being given something<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing the verb is being done to<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing being summoned or identified<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the place the thing is in, or on, near, past, close to, with or about<\/span><\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">the thing being used for something or with something else<\/span><\/li><br \/><\/ol><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">Yes, they <b>must<\/b> be in that order. People don&#39;t know the names, only the number. I use the mnemonic &quot;No Good Driver Arrives Very Late &amp; Intoxicated&quot; to remember the names (in English\/Latin).<\/span><br \/><br \/>Czechs use a system of little questions to work out which they&#39;re using:<\/div><ol dir=\"ltr\"><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Nominative) - <i>Kdo? Co?<\/i> [Who? What?]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Genitive) - <i>Bez koho? Bez \u010deho?<\/i> [Without whom? Without what?]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Dative) - <i>Ke komu? K \u010demu?<\/i> [To whom? To what?]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Accusative) - <i>Vid&iacute;m koho? Vid&iacute;m co?<\/i> [I see whom? I see what?]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Vocative) - <i>Oslovujeme, vol&aacute;me<\/i> [Who! What! (calling or addressing someone\/something)]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Locative) - <i>O kom? O \u010dem?<\/i> [About whom? About what?]<\/li><br \/><li style=\"text-align: start;\">p&aacute;d (Instrumental) - <i>S k&yacute;m? S \u010d&iacute;m? <\/i>[With whom? With what?]<\/li><br \/><\/ol><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\">These help me not one whit. Not even slightly. None of them &quot;sound right&quot; to me.<br \/><br \/>The saintly Jana has memorized all the names for the cases so she can tell me which word is in which case when I ask. I can hear her quickly asking herself &quot;<i>kdo? bez koho? ke komu? vid&iacute;m koho?<\/i>&quot; Then she goes &quot;it&#39;s in accusative.&quot;<br \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"\"><div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align:start\"><span class=\"\" dir=\"auto\" lang=\"en\">All these use-cases overlap. They apply to <b>all<\/b> nouns, to names, to posessives <b>and<\/b> to pronouns, are different for number (of which there are four: ordinary singular, plural singular, two to four, and five and higher), and are different for all four genders (and of course there are at least two to four patterns per gender plus exceptions).<\/span><br \/><br \/>Some nouns, for instance, have the feminine ending but are masculine, which means in some declensions they take the feminine forms, but not always. I think. For these nouns there&#39;s a special extra feminine ending bolted on (<i>-kyne) <\/i>to tell you that that form is <b>really<\/b> feminine.<br \/><br \/>The declensions for case #4, the most common &ndash; no, of <i>course<\/i> they&#39;re not in frequency order, that would be way too easy &ndash; make many masculine nouns (e.g. names) in the accusative take the same ending as feminine nouns in nominative. The endings for case #6 sometimes are pronounced the same as the different endings for case #2. The endings for nouns in case #5 closely resemble the endings for adjectives in case #4. And so on.<br \/><br \/>Vowels are closely rationed in Czech, you see. There&#39;s a national shortage. There&#39;s no easy way to distinguish &quot;bull&quot; from &quot;bool&quot;, or &quot;hut&quot; from &quot;hoot&quot;, or &quot;bat&quot; from &quot;bart&quot;. So endings get endlessly recycled because there just aren&#39;t enough vowel sounds to give every case in every gender a unique ending.<br \/><br \/>I am slowly compiling tables of declensions and endings in a series of spreadsheets. If I can find a way to export these to LJ simple HTML, I&#39;ll post them on this blog.<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308921.html?view=comments#comments","category":["projectprague","czech","projectbrno"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308486.html","pubDate":"Wed, 14 Apr 2021 21:38:18 GMT","title":"The wonders of masala chai. (#projectPrague blog post)","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308486.html","description":"<div data-block=\"true\" data-editor=\"deat3\" data-offset-key=\"b20ln-0-0\"><div class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\"><span data-offset-key=\"b20ln-0-0\" style=\"font-family: inherit;\"><span data-text=\"true\" style=\"font-family: inherit;\">Sometimes I get very annoyed with Past Liam.<\/span><\/span><br \/><br \/><span data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\" style=\"font-family: inherit;\"><span data-text=\"true\" style=\"font-family: inherit;\">I had two favourite Asian-foods shops in Brno. I looked up a few here, and in three-and-a-bit years in Prague, I never visited either.<br \/><br \/>Well, I&#39;ve finally got around to it.<br \/><br \/>A couple of weeks ago, I found <a href=\"https:\/\/www.repraha.cz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Orient Food<\/a> in Hole&scaron;ovice. I spent about &pound;60 in one go and staggered out with all I could carry. It&#39;s a good thing I didn&#39;t make it there with Ada a month ago, on my previous attempt to visit the place. She was on foot, which means progress was slow and inefficient at best. (Although she did great and was a little star &ndash; we went all the way into the city centre, to I P Pavlova (named after the great Dr Pavlov, who I am sure would be <i>delighted<\/i> at how a billion humans now jump and reach for their pockets at a mere hint of vibration). Foreigners affectionately call the station &quot;I P Freely&quot;. That time, we went to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.candy-store.cz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">the Candy Store<\/a> where I stocked up on Marmite, crisps, biscuits and beer. Especially custard creams, which Ada picked for me and put in the basket. She gamely tried to carry it, but it was rather big for her.<br \/><br \/>(She put quite a lot of things in the basket, in fact &ndash; she very much enjoys putting things in other things. Today, while we were Skyping with her grandma, she raided the kitchen vegetable drawer, found a bag of onions, and after playing with them in the kitchen, she brought the bag into the living room, and unpacked the onions onto the sofa. And then back into the bag. And then out onto the sofa again. Then back into the bag. Then she gave her mum an onion. Her mummy told her to give daddy an onion too... so she took mummy&#39;s onion back and handed it to me.<br \/><br \/>I spent some time sweeping up onion skin this evening.)<br \/><br \/>Anyway. Back to the Oriental Potraviny. This time, it was more like a spicy orgy to make a Fremen sietch proud. Biriani paste <i>and<\/i> mix, plantain chips, frozen parathas, Bombay mix, some Tetley <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Masala_chai\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">masala chai<\/a> tea-bags, and more. I have been sadly missing a lot of my favourite spicy foodstuffs. <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-type-P     \"  data-ljuser=\"ednun\" lj:user=\"ednun\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/ednun.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/ednun.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>ednun<\/b><\/a><\/span> and I made quite a few shopping trips for such things in the Before Time.<br \/><br \/>I never knew Tetley&#39;s made masala teabags! The box proudly proclaims that Tetley&#39;s is now a Tata company. Tata, if you don&#39;t know the name, is a Mumbai <i>zaibatsu<\/i> who make everything from coffee to cars. I only knew the tea from my beloved and much-missed Sri Lankan restaurants of Colliers Wood. For tea, I especially recommend the <a href=\"https:\/\/apollobananaleaf.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Apollo Banana Leaf<\/a>. (Prague&#39;s only Sri Lankan has closed down, and I am dismayed.)<br \/><br \/>Turns out, it&#39;s great. Being the real Indian deal and not some watered-down British version for feeble white people, it has a strong punch of both spice and tea. Wonderful morning pick-me-up.<br \/><br \/>Well, today, I visited the second such grocery store on my list &ndash; and discovered it was within walking distance of my old flat on Charles Square. How did I not know that? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.swagat.cz\/en\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Swagat<\/a> do both retail and wholesale, so although smaller, there&#39;s a quite different selection, including multiple blends of masala tea at 25% discount. I was recommended <a href=\"https:\/\/www.waghbakritea.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Wagh Bakri<\/a> and I bought a tub of leaf tea.<br \/><br \/>And lo, I now know the recipe for masala tea! Well, the ingredients, anyway. I don&#39;t recommend making your own; I have no idea about the quantities.<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><div data-block=\"true\" data-editor=\"deat3\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\"><ul dir=\"ltr\"><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Tea (<i>Camillia sinensis<\/i>) flavoured with:<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Cardamom (<i>Elletaria cardamomum<\/i> Maton)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Clove (<i>Syzygium aromaticum<\/i>)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Black pepper (<i>Piper nigrum L.<\/i>)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Cinnamon (<i>Cinnamomum verum<\/i>)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Ginger (<i>Zingiber officinale<\/i> Roscoe)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Nutmeg (<i>Myristica fragrans<\/i>)<\/li><br \/><li class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Long Pepper (<i>Piper longicum<\/i>)<\/li><br \/><\/ul><div class=\"\" data-offset-key=\"573lk-0-0\">Yes, they helpfully included all the Latin names. I have, however, fixed the spelling of a couple.<br \/><br \/>I will report back once I have tried it, but if you can, seek it out. If you&#39;ve had coffee-shop chai, this will be a revelation. The real deal is a far cry from the weak Western version. It mirrors an experience I had in Tooting some years back. I visited a newly-opened Indian vegetarian restaurant, Saravana Bhavan, with Ednun, freshly back from a work trip to Gurgaom. When I led him in, he clutched my guiding elbow excitedly and told me that if the smells and the sounds were anything to go by, this was the real thing and the food would be amazing. Well, it was good, but not amazing.<br \/><br \/>I recounted this tale over a vindaloo to the late and very much missed <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-type-P     \"  data-ljuser=\"nesacat\" lj:user=\"nesacat\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/nesacat.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/nesacat.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>nesacat<\/b><\/a><\/span>, who told me that what I had to do was to go back there, ask for the manager, and tell him that I didn&#39;t want the food for British customers, I wanted the proper stuff that they&#39;d serve to Indian customers.<br \/><br \/>Well, I went again, with Eddie again, and <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-deleted  i-ljuser-type-P     \"  data-ljuser=\"feorag\" lj:user=\"feorag\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/feorag.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/feorag.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>feorag<\/b><\/a><a class=\"i-ljuser-badge i-ljuser-badge--pro\" data-badge-type=\"pro\" data-placement=\"bottom\" data-pro-badge data-pro-badge-type=\"1\" data-is-raw hidden href=\"#\"><span class=\"i-ljuser-badge__icon\"><svg class=\"svgicon\" width=\"25\" height=\"16\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 33 24\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M19.326 11.95c0 2.01 1.47 3.45 3.48 3.45 2.02 0 3.49-1.44 3.49-3.45 0-2.01-1.47-3.45-3.49-3.45-2.01 0-3.48 1.44-3.48 3.45Zm5.51 0c0 1.24-.8 2.19-2.03 2.19-1.23 0-2.02-.95-2.02-2.19 0-1.25.79-2.19 2.02-2.19s2.03.94 2.03 2.19ZM7.92 15.28H6.5V8.61h3.12c1.45 0 2.24.98 2.24 2.15 0 1.16-.8 2.15-2.24 2.15h-1.7v2.37Zm1.51-3.62c.56 0 .98-.35.98-.9 0-.56-.42-.9-.98-.9H7.92v1.8h1.51ZM18.3802 15.28h-1.63l-1.31-2.37h-1.04v2.37h-1.42V8.61h3.12c1.39 0 2.24.91 2.24 2.15 0 1.18-.74 1.81-1.46 1.98l1.5 2.54Zm-2.49-3.62c.57 0 1-.34 1-.9s-.43-.9-1-.9h-1.49v1.8h1.49Z\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\"\/><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M2 8c0-2.20914 1.79086-4 4-4h20.5c2.2091 0 4 1.79086 4 4v7.9c0 2.2091-1.7909 4-4 4H6c-2.20914 0-4-1.7909-4-4V8Zm4-2.5h20.5C27.8807 5.5 29 6.61929 29 8v7.9c0 1.3807-1.1193 2.5-2.5 2.5H6c-1.38071 0-2.5-1.1193-2.5-2.5V8c0-1.38071 1.11929-2.5 2.5-2.5Z\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/span>, <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-type-Y     \"  data-ljuser=\"charlies_diary\" lj:user=\"charlies_diary\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/charlies-diary.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/syndicated.png?v=6283&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/charlies-diary.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>charlies_diary<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-deleted  i-ljuser-type-P     \"  data-ljuser=\"pndc\" lj:user=\"pndc\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/pndc.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/pndc.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>pndc<\/b><\/a><\/span> if I remember correctly, and although embarrassed, I did as Nesa had told me. The manager was quite indignant at the suggestion, and informed me that all customers got the same food prepared the same way...<br \/><br \/>... But this time, the food was <i>excellent<\/i>.<br \/><br \/>By a happy coincidence, just by the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nh-hotels.com\/hotel\/nh-brussels-louise\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">hotel<\/a> that my employers put us in when we&#39;re in Brussels for the <a href=\"https:\/\/fosdem.org\/2021\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">FOSDEM conference<\/a> is the Belgian branch of <a href=\"https:\/\/saravanabhavan.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Saravanaa Bhavan<\/a>. It usually closes just about the time I arrive (after the cheap evening Ryanair flight from Prague), but last year, I hot-footed it straight from the airport to the restaurant and just got in in time to be served... and went again on my way to the airport on the way home, too.<br \/><br \/>As a wise man once wrote:<br \/><blockquote><i>In this time, the most precious substance in the universe is the spice Melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness.<\/i><\/blockquote><\/div><\/div>&quot;Melange&quot; is of course the French for a mixture. In other words, variety is the spice of life...","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308486.html?view=comments#comments","category":["spice","prague","indian food","masala chai"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308311.html","pubDate":"Wed, 30 Dec 2020 14:42:15 GMT","title":"Think things can only get better next year? Think again.","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308311.html","description":"Seen the Boston Dynamics dancing robots?<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fn3KWM1kuAw' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fn3KWM1kuAw<\/a><br \/><br \/>It&#39;s not CGI. This is CGI:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dKjCWfuvYxQ' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dKjCWfuvYxQ<\/a><br \/><br \/>The dancing ones are, regrettably, real.<br \/><br \/>The question is: once they take all the terrible jobs in mail-order vendors&#39; warehouses, and in Asian sweatshops, away, what will those people do?<br \/><br \/>Apart from die in the hundreds of millions due to climate change, of course.<br \/><br \/>I do find it bleakly amusing that as NYE approaches, people are digging up their old tweets:<br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/JonnElledge\/status\/1209412430356525057' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/twitter.com\/JonnElledge\/status\/1209412430356525057<\/a><br \/><br \/>&laquo;<br \/>December 2016: Thank god this terrible year is over.<br \/>December 2017: Thank god this terrible year is over.<br \/>December 2018: Thank god this terrible year is over.<br \/>December 2019: Thank god this terrible decade is o<br \/>&raquo;<br \/><br \/>We screwed the pooch. It is going to keep getting worse. The climate is destabilised. The world governments agreed in 2015 that we had a margin of 1.5&ordm; to fix things. Well, 1.2&ordm; of that is gone now.<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/JKSteinberger\/status\/1343965820028858368' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/twitter.com\/JKSteinberger\/status\/1343965820028858368<\/a><br \/><br \/>Stuff is going to get weirder and less predictable from now on. Unseasonal heat and freezes. Hurricanes, monsoons, droughts, dust-storms, etc., where they don&#39;t normally happen, or disproportionately many of unusual force.<br \/><br \/>Massively hot summers in regions where the crops can&#39;t take it, but we won&#39;t be able to grow crops that can take it, because they&#39;ll be coupled with massively cold winters like we&#39;ve not seen for centuries. Forested regions burning, even in relatively moist areas. Where I am, with woodland about 50 metres away, the intensely-managed forests are full of dead trees, killed by bark-boring beetles or the fungi they carry -- but that&#39;s probably because the trees were weakened by unusual weather. Some trees are standing, marked in fluorescent paint, but there are big heaps of logs everywhere too. The woods look superficially healthy, but they&#39;re not.<br \/><br \/>Everyone noticed that you don&#39;t get so many insects splattering on your visor any more, even in high summer? That&#39;s because about 85% of the world&#39;s insects have died since the start of the 20th century.<br \/><br \/>All the surviving forests are falling silent:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/environment\/2019\/jan\/15\/insect-collapse-we-are-destroying-our-life-support-systems' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/environment\/2019\/jan\/15\/insect-collapse-we-are-destroying-our-life-support-systems<\/a><br \/><br \/>Because all the wild birds are starving to death:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/environment\/2020\/dec\/26\/mass-die-off-of-birds-in-south-western-us-caused-by-starvation-aoe' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/environment\/2020\/dec\/26\/mass-die-off-of-birds-in-south-western-us-caused-by-starvation-aoe<\/a><br \/><br \/>60% of wild vertebrates have died out since 1970:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.aljazeera.com\/news\/2018\/10\/30\/earths-wild-animal-population-plummets-60-percent-in-44-years' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.aljazeera.com\/news\/2018\/10\/30\/earths-wild-animal-population-plummets-60-percent-in-44-years<\/a><br \/><br \/>All wild animals on the planet now comprise about 4% of the total:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/xkcd.com\/1338\/' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/xkcd.com\/1338\/<\/a><br \/><br \/>The rest are farm animals.<br \/><br \/>FTAOD I do intend to sound panicked, and to make anyone reading this feel the same. Brexit doesn&#39;t really matter. All that argument over fish? Irrelevant really as they&#39;re plummeting worldwide:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.geographyrealm.com\/study-finds-staggering-decline-in-marine-fishery-biomass\/' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.geographyrealm.com\/study-finds-staggering-decline-in-marine-fishery-biomass\/<\/a><br \/><br \/>The 3 photos in this academic paper show the collapse since 1957 well enough that you don&#39;t need to read it:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='http:\/\/sedarweb.org\/docs\/wsupp\/SEDAR23_RD_10_McClenachan_09.pdf' rel='nofollow'>http:\/\/sedarweb.org\/docs\/wsupp\/SEDAR23_RD_10_McClenachan_09.pdf<\/a><br \/><br \/>Shorter version, more pics:<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/psmag.com\/environment\/fish-stories-the-ones-that-got-away-3914' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/psmag.com\/environment\/fish-stories-the-ones-that-got-away-3914<\/a><br \/><br \/>All that&#39;s left are tiddlers.<br \/><br \/>We are forcing fish to breed smaller and younger because we kill all the big ones.<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/news\/technology\/fishery-changed-cod-breeding-study-1.481761' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/news\/technology\/fishery-changed-cod-breeding-study-1.481761<\/a><br \/><br \/>We kill the small ones too but then throw the dead bodies back in.<br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.oceanographicmagazine.com\/news\/overfishing-dead-fish-discarded-uk\/' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.oceanographicmagazine.com\/news\/overfishing-dead-fish-discarded-uk\/<\/a><br \/><br \/><div>Brace yourselves. 2021 will probably be worse than 2020, and 2022 will be worse than 2021.<\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308311.html?view=comments#comments","category":"climate change"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308032.html","pubDate":"Mon, 21 Dec 2020 23:25:02 GMT","title":"Cooking made easy: I reckon the world needs more accessible, easy instruction in cooking ","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308032.html","description":"<p>There used to be a really great late-night cooking show on British TV, at about 3 or 4 in the morning, called &quot;Get Stuffed&quot;. <a target='_blank' href='http:\/\/getstuffed.info\/dir\/' rel='nofollow'>http:\/\/getstuffed.info\/dir\/<\/a><br \/>It was all a cookery program for beginners should be. It should come back, and everyone who aspires to teach the masses of hoi polloi how to cook _needs_ to see it. A bunch of &#39;em are on Youtube.<\/p><p><br \/>The episodes were about 10min long. That&#39;s enough. Give me a recipe that takes 2h to prepare and I am not going to do it twice, because I like food that takes about as long or less to prepare as it does to eat. That is my line in the sand.<\/p><p><br \/>They tended to include a single-digit number of ingredients. This is good. Frankly, if it&#39;s fancy and needs 20 or 30 ingredients and multiple prep stages, I&#39;m probably not going to bother. I can pay someone to cook fancy stuff in a restaurant. I&#39;m not going to waste time and money fscking it up at home.<\/p><p><br \/>I can cook. I am not great, and I mostly don&#39;t do fancy stuff. I can&#39;t do anything with any form of meat and I&#39;m proud of that, because I haven&#39;t eaten any form of dead animal since I was about 14 and I do not intend to start. So, any cooking show\/book that is mostly dead-animal based, I won&#39;t watch\/read\/buy.<br \/>In my not-even-remotely-fucking-humble opinion, it&#39;s like this: a competent artist can create art from whatever materials they&#39;re given. Give them a sheet of A4 and a blue biro, and they can still draw a wonderful picture.<\/p><p><br \/>So, IDGAF what any cannibalistic bastards _like_ to eat. If someone&#39;s any bloody good in a kitchen, they should be able to create interesting food out of plants and dairy. Sod the dead flesh -- keep that to a minority of the time. I am not saying ban it, I am saying well under half. 1\/3 vegetarian, 1\/3 vegan, 1\/3 meat is a good ratio.<\/p><p><br \/>Yes, it&#39;s sanctimonious, and yes, I am. I judge every meat-eating bastard and I find them wanting.<\/p><p><br \/>Short, quick, simple, easy. Amounts should be approximations and not tied to any units system, because they don&#39;t translate. Tell people what a bit more or less will do. Detail substitutions that will work. Tools should be simple stuff -- it was a revelation to me when I used to go to the Sci-Fi Weekender events and stay in a holiday camp. The kitchens have stuff I&#39;d _never_ use, like potato mashers &amp; rolling pins, but lacked sharp knives. I had to try to coordinate a bunch of nerdy guys who didn&#39;t know how to fend for themselves, and I discovered that people didn&#39;t know what I consider basic stuff -- like, how to chop an onion, or how to cut up a tomato, or the fact that for most veg you don&#39;t need to peel them, just give &#39;em a bloody good scrub and cut out any nasty bits.<\/p><p><br \/>So, what I&#39;m saying is, yes, you&#39;re right, there *is* a real need for basic public education in dead simple cookery, but I reckon a lot of people tackle it totally wrong.<br \/><br \/>A friend posted a year or so back that she was confused by healthy eating advice: there was so much of it and so much was contradictory. I was amazed. It&#39;s dead easy. Michael Pollan said it eloquently:<br \/><br \/>Eat less.<br \/>Only food.<br \/>Mostly plants.<\/p><p>That&#39;s it.<\/p><p>&quot;Eat less.&quot;<\/p><p>We eat too much. Making stuff filling is a priority. Think about protein content. That means not meat and it means cheap. Any restaurant that serves me 3 artfully-arranged twigs next to 6 droplets of sauce is one that&#39;s going to get a blisteringly bad review from me. Fuck that. Entire series of Masterchef would benefit greatly from an AK-47, but failing that, I&#39;d give &#39;em a budget of &pound;5 per person and it has to feed someone who is coeliac and someone who is vegan. If your menu includes the word &quot;jus&quot; so help me it&#39;ll be the last word you fucking write.<\/p><p>&quot;Only food.&quot;<\/p><p>That means, you start with elements. Ingredients, not a jar of sauce, not a can of stew, nothing frozen or whatever. Someone in the 19th century should instantly recognise it and know what to do with it.<\/p><p>&quot;Mostly plants&quot;.<\/p><p>Self-explanatory. Meat as an occasional treat once a week or something, not as a basis. If you can&#39;t cook without meat, fish or anything containing them then you can&#39;t cook.<br \/><br \/>This is why I occasionally post my own &quot;Chef de Bloke&quot; cordon-blur recipes. Because I hope that they might help someone somewhere. Actually, I promised Jana&#39;s sister one in the summer, so it will have to be in basic English too. That will be an interesting challenge.<\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/308032.html?view=comments#comments","category":["cookery","vegetarianism","food"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307713.html","pubDate":"Sun, 11 Oct 2020 13:56:06 GMT","title":"Unix is Unix is Unix","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307713.html","description":"From a Hackernews comment on my previous post.<br \/><br \/><span class=\"\">Unix is Unix is Unix. Compared to the diversity that is out there even now, and far more so, to that which <i>was<\/i> out there 25y ago, all Unixes are the same OS, yes.<\/span><p><span class=\"\">They are all one because the differences between them are trivial compared to their similarities. It doesn&#39;t matter if the kernel is monolithic or modular, or if the filesystem is case-preserving but not case-sensitive (NT, macOS). These are hidden technical details.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">But most people now have only <b>seen<\/b> Unix and nothing else, so they think that these trivial implementation details -- like what is the default shell, or where are libraries kept -- are important differences. They aren&#39;t. They&#39;re unimportant decorative details.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">When I talk about diversity, let&#39;s talk about some real non-xNix OSes I have owned, used, and worked with.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Assumption: shells<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Imagine an OS with no shell. No command line at all. Shells are not a given. The idea of typing commands in text at a keyboard, hitting Return to send it for evaluation, getting an answer back, and acting according to that: that is an assumption, and it is one that came from 1960s mainframes.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">The slightly more subtle idea that your input is sent character by character, and changing those can interrupt this -- e.g. Ctrl+C to cancel -- that&#39;s an assumption, too. It&#39;s from 1970s minicomputers, and indeed, the modern version is from one specific company&#39;s range: the Digital Equipment Corporation PDP series. The &quot;enhanced&quot; keyboard layout? Not IBM: DEC. The 6-dot-3 then 8-dot-3 letter filename thing? DEC. Filename plus extension at all? DEC.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Alternatives: classic MacOS. Atari TOS\/GEM. ETH Oberon. Apple NewtonOS. Psion EPOC16 and EPOC32.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Assumption: configuration held in text files<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Config files are an assumption. I have used multiple OSes with no config files at all, anywhere. Not hidden: nonexistent. The idea of keeping config in the filesystem is an artifact of one design school.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Other alternatives to it have included:<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">- a single global database, part of the OS, not visible in the filesystem at all.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">- multiple databases, implemented as different parts of the OS design. One inside the kernel, one inside the filesystem structures of the OS.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">- per-app databases, managed by OS APIs. So you don&#39;t write files or choose a format: you call the OS and give it things to store, or ask it what&#39;s there.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">The upshot of these latter two kinds of design is that you get facilities like connecting a storage medium to the computer, and all its programs and data are instantly accessible to the user -- in menus, as associations, whatever. And when you eject a medium, it all neatly disappears again, reverting to previous values where appropriate.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Best example: classic MacOS.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Assumption: there is a filesystem. This is an integrated indexing system that stores data in blocks of auxiliary storage, where they can be found by name, and the OS will read data from them into RAM.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Filesystems are an assumption. Hierarchical filesystems are a bigger one.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Alternatives:<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">All data is in primary storage (IBM OS\/400, AKA IBM i.)<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Or, media can contain databases, managed by the OS but not accessible by name (Apple NewtonOS).<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Or, the primary storage is objects in RAM, and saving to disk is accomplished by snap-shotting entire system state to auxiliary storage. (Example: Xerox Smalltalk.)<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Or, the primary storage is lists of values in RAM, and as above, disks are mainly used for import\/export and for holding state snapshots. (Example: Lisp machines.)<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">When you take a long view, in historical context -- not the narrow parochial one of the last decade or two -- then yes, these are all different implementations of near-identical Unix systems. You&#39;ve seen one Unix, you&#39;ve seen &#39;em all.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">What we have today is a biculture: various flavours of Unix, and NT. That&#39;s it nothing else.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">There used to be a verdant, rich forest here. Now, there is just a plantation, with fruit trees and pine trees. You&#39;re pointing at apple trees and pear trees and saying &quot;look, they&#39;re different!&quot; And at plums (and cherries and damsons and peaches) and oranges (and lemons and grapefruit and limes).<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">Well, yes they are, a little bit. But look deeper, and there are hard fruit, stone fruit, citrus fruit, nuts. But all deciduous broadleafed hardwoods.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">There used to be creepers and vines and lianas and rattan, and grasses and orchids and bromeliads and ferns, and giant herbs, and little parasitic things, some with vast flowers, and mosses and lichens and liverworts.<\/span><\/p><p><span class=\"\">There was a forest, and it&#39;s gone, and no, you cannot persuade me that a neat tidy little orchard with a handful of fruit trees is the same thing. <\/span><\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307713.html?view=comments#comments","category":"unix"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307583.html","pubDate":"Wed, 27 May 2020 14:31:05 GMT","title":"Not changed your password since 2014? Change your password. NOW.","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307583.html","description":"<a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/www.zdnet.com\/article\/26-million-livejournal-credentials-leaked-online-sold-on-the-dark-web\/' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/www.zdnet.com\/article\/26-million-livejournal-credentials-leaked-online-sold-on-the-dark-web\/<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307583.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307215.html","pubDate":"Fri, 03 Apr 2020 14:34:17 GMT","title":"What is RNA anyway? And why is it so hard to protect yourself against viruses?","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307215.html","description":"[Recycled mailing list post in case it&#39;s useful to anyone]<br \/><br \/>You&#39;ve heard of DNA, right? DNA is the chemical that is the recording medium for your genetic code and the genetic code of all living organisms, right down to bacteria. You may have also heard it referred to as the &quot;double helix&quot;.<br \/><br \/>Note the &quot;<b>living<\/b> organisms&quot; part. This is important.<br \/><br \/>DNA standard for De-oxy-ribose Nucleic Acid.<br \/><br \/>It is a chain of smaller molecules, called bases. There are 4 of these in most organisms, and their initials are C, G, T and A. A pairs to T, or T to A. G pairs with C, or C to G.<br \/><br \/>DNA is structured like a ladder: 2 long chains, that twist around each other. The twisting structure is why it&#39;s called a helix, and the fact that 2 chains twist around each other is why it&#39;s a double helix.<br \/><br \/>Think of a ladder. The chains are the vertical rails. The pairs of bases are the rungs.<br \/><br \/>Because in DNA, A only pairs with T, and G only pairs with C, if you split DNA down the middle, each side goes:<br \/><br \/>ACGTGCCTA<br \/><br \/>or something like that.<br \/><br \/>Given the way that bases match up, you can reconstruct the other half:<br \/><br \/>TGCACGGAT<br \/><br \/>This is a kind of error-checking, and that&#39;s why organisms use DNA for long-term storage. &nbsp;Either half can be used to reconstruct the other.<br \/><br \/>When a cell divides, an enzyme comes along, splits the ladder in half down the middle like a zip, and then another enzyme reconstructs each side. Result, 2 matching copies, then the cell divides and each daughter cell gets a copy of their own.<br \/><br \/>To get at the info stored in DNA, an enzyme goes down the ladder looking for a marker for the bit it needs right now, which might for example say AAATTTAAATTT... that means &quot;start here&quot;. Another bit later on says GGGCCCGGGCCC, meaning &quot;stop here.&quot; &nbsp;Then the enzype unzips the DNA after AAATTTAAATTT bit and makes a working copy, going along until it gets to GGGCCCGGGCCC then it stops.<br \/><br \/>The working copy only has 1 strand. It&#39;s half the ladder. It is not de-oxygenated. It is just RNA: Ribose Nucleir Acid.<br \/><br \/>It&#39;s for short-term working use, not long-term storage, because there is no error correction. No paired strand. So it&#39;s easier and quicker to read -- no unzipping or zipping required -- but it&#39;s prone to errors.<br \/><br \/>Right. That&#39;s DNA and RNA. A ladder structure (DNA, think &quot;D for double&quot;), and a working temporary copy, just reduced to half of it (think R for reduced).<br \/><br \/>Like I said, all living organisms use DNA. They have at least one strand of DNA, and encoded onto it are their genes, which tell them how to grow, how to make their special unique proteins, and so on. The genes are the constriction and operation manual for a cell.<br \/><br \/>How do you know if a cell is living? Well all living things do a bunch of stuff. They grow and move (even if just by growing, like most plants). They breathe: take gases in and emit different gases. They eat. They excrete the waste from the stuff they eat. They reproduce. They are irritable, that is, they respond to stimuli.<br \/><br \/>If it does all those -- grow, move, eat, breathe, pee and\/or poop, respond and reproduce -- then it&#39;s alive.<br \/><br \/>Viruses are not alive.<br \/><br \/>Viruses are parasitic genes. They don&#39;t breathe or eat or reproduce. They float around, and then if they bump into the right kind of host cell, they get absorbed into it. Most of them have special signalling chemicals on the outside that tell the right kind of host cell &quot;absorb me&quot;.<br \/><br \/>One they are inside, they split open and their genetic payload spills out. Then the host cell reads those genes and does what they say. The genes instruct the host cell to make copies of the virus. In most cases, the host cell is taken over completely, makes hundreds or thousands of copies of the virus until it bursts open and dies, scattering those thousands of baby viruses to infect other cells.<br \/><br \/>Repeat that enough and the host organism starts spraying viruses around in its spittle or in its pee or poop or sexual juices or whatever. Cold viruses make the lining of your nose and throat itchy so you cough and sneeze, spraying snot full of viruses everywhere. Someone else breathes them in, or swallows them, and they get infected.<br \/><br \/>The AIDS virus gets into your spunk or vaginal mucus and so it gets right onto the sexual or rectal membranes, invades those cells and starts getting copied again.<br \/><br \/>Viruses can&#39;t even reproduce themselves. They need to get the host&#39;s cells to do that for them.<br \/><br \/>So you can&#39;t kill them, because they aren&#39;t alive. They don&#39;t eat or breathe. You can extract them from someone&#39;s blood or snot or whatever, freeze them, and thaw them out years later and they become infective again.<br \/><br \/>But they mostly do have a complex capsule made of fats and proteins, protecting their genes. Damage or destroy that coat and they can&#39;t get into your cells and they are inactivated. They can&#39;t harm you any more. Soap does this quite nicely.<br \/><br \/>Complex animals, like us, have special immune systems that literally learn new threats and can then target them. So you could take just the capsules of viruses, with no genes in, or even a part of the capsule, like the protein spikes, and inject them into an animal&#39;s bloodstream, and its immune system goes &quot;hey, that&#39;s not part of me, that&#39;s alien! Attack! Destroy! Exterminate!&quot; And the immune system <i>remembers<\/i> this.<br \/><br \/>So, squirt a bit of the virus capsule into someone, they maybe get a mild fever, but they are now protected from the virus in future. When the real thing comes alone, with that matching capsule, the fore-warned immune system jumps on the invading virus and destroys it and you don&#39;t get sick.<br \/><br \/>Since viruses aren&#39;t alive and don&#39;t reproduce themselves, they only need a very small simple set of genes. A tiny, stripped-down, lightweight set.<br \/><br \/>And it&#39;s to their advantage to keep changing, so an organism that&#39;s seen last year&#39;s version with its distinctive capsule with a coat of protein spikes won&#39;t recognise this year&#39;s protein coat... and the new modified virus gets in, infects the host, gets into its cells and forces &nbsp;them to start making millions of copies.<br \/><br \/>An error in copying DNA is called a mutation.<br \/><br \/>You are complex. You do not want errors in your genes. That would be bad. An error in your genes could give you cystic fibrosis, or muscular dystrophy, or sickle-cell an&aelig;mia, or h&aelig;mophilia, or a thousand other diseases, and if you don&#39;t get it you could pass it on to your children. As a complex organism with hundreds of thousands of genes, you do not want mutations. You just want a mixture of healthy genes, from other humans.<br \/><br \/>So you have error-checking and correction in your genes. They are recorded in double-stranded DNA for safety.<br \/><br \/>Viruses are not complex. They are very simple. Mutations are good for them. They don&#39;t have a metabolism to go wrong. Mutations help them. Random mutations might give them slightly different capsules from their ancestors, so they can infect hosts that have met their ancestors and are immune to them.<br \/><br \/>So some, but not all, viruses have switched from using double-stranded DNA to using single-stranded RNA instead. It&#39;s much more error-prone because there&#39;s no error-checking, but if you are an infective bunch of genes, that doesn&#39;t matter. So long as the slightly-mistaken copy of you is good enough to make other cells replicate it and make working copies, that&#39;s all it needs.<br \/><br \/>So transcription errors are very bad for you, but <i>good<\/i> for viruses that just want to infect you and get copied by your cells so they can infect other complex organisms with all sorts of lovely thick gooey sticky messy body fluids to carry other viruses around in, protecting them, keeping them nice and wet and protected until they can get into a new host and infect it.<br \/><br \/>And the circle of life continues. <span><span>Hasa Diga Eebowai! <\/span><\/span><br \/><br \/>Nobody really knows where viruses came from. Some are super-simple. Some plant viruses are just little chains of DNA or RNA floating around unprotected, but then, plants don&#39;t have much of an immune system.<br \/><br \/>Some animal viruses are huge and complex. Some bacterial viruses are also super complex, like syringes with legs that are triggered by just the right sort of bacterial cell wall, and actively inject their genetic payload into the bacteria.<br \/><br \/>Bacteria are single cells, so each is very complicated because it has to do everything: move and eat and excrete and copy itself. They have genes too, in a single ring of DNA. No fancy multiple bundles like we have.<br \/><br \/>Bacteria have sex, too. They pinch off smaller rings of DNA and swap them. These are called plasmids. They are the way bacteria communicate and exchange genes.  <br \/><br \/>It&#39;s possible some of those plasmids went rogue somehow and started making copies of themselves and spreading from cell to cell. That might be where viruses came from.<br \/><br \/>Multicellular animals and plants are far more complicated. Some of their cells can&#39;t survive alone and only live with the help of other, specialist cells. <br \/><div>Some animals and plants are parasites&nbsp;and live inside other animals and plants. If you live inside something else, you can become simpler -- you may not need to eat, move around, protect yourself etc. Your host does that. All you really need to do is steal food from its bloodstream or sap, and have sex so you can make copies of yourself.<br \/><\/div><div>Some parasites have become very tiny and simple. They exist just as bundles or threads of a few cells, able only to absorb food, make sperm or eggs, and those sperm and eggs to fuse and make new threads. They get passed on to their hosts&#39; babies.<br \/><\/div><div>Well, maybe some of them went super-extreme with simplification and stopped the actual &quot;living&quot; part, and got stripped down just to their genes and a protective capsule.<\/div><div><br \/><\/div><div>Or maybe both. Maybe multiple times. It&#39;s hard to tell.<\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307215.html?view=comments#comments","category":["biology","viruses","genes"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307192.html","pubDate":"Fri, 06 Mar 2020 23:24:03 GMT","title":"Approaching half a year of parenthood (a #projectPrague blog post, by me)","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307192.html","description":"Life has changed beyond anything I could imagine in the last seven or eight months, and I am struggling to adapt.<br \/> <br \/>I decided I was happy over here back in about 2015. I debated selling my house back in Mitcham with the estate agent I&rsquo;d hired to rent it out. She strongly endorsed the plan. I said to her that I was considering selling, but I&rsquo;d long thought that I&rsquo;d hold back until it fetched at least twice what I paid for it &ndash; which is to say, &pound;300,000, an absurd amount of money. She laughed in my face and told me that if she couldn&rsquo;t get &pound;350,000 then she wasn&rsquo;t doing her job. And after fees, taxes and so on, she did &ndash; I got a little under a third of a million pounds for it.<br \/> <br \/>I wondered how I&rsquo;d know when the sale completed. It occurred to me that I could just put my British bank card into an ATM &ndash; a &ldquo;bankomat&rdquo; over here &ndash; and check my balance. I did. In Czech crowns, of course: in those idyllic pre-Brexit times, &pound;1 was worth KzK 35. The balance looked like a telephone number. An international one.<br \/> <br \/>Although I hadn&rsquo;t lived there for about a year, it was a dizzying moment. I went to a Toastmasters event that evening and a friend asked me why I seemed dazed. I showed her the slip from the ATM.<br \/> <br \/>She looked confused. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;this can&rsquo;t be right &ndash; where it should have the balance, they&rsquo;ve printed your account numb&mdash;OHH!&rdquo;<br \/> <br \/>A few days later, at the end of my working day, I made a series of Skype calls to various British phone numbers. I paid off the Inland Revenue &ndash; some &pound;15,000. I paid off my First Direct overdraft -- &pound;3,800. I paid off Barclaycard &ndash; nearly &pound;10,000, if I remember rightly. I paid off every outstanding bill I had, and after an hour on the phone, that was it. Totally debt-free for the first time in over a decade.<br \/> <br \/>But last February, Jana gave me the most shocking, terrifying weekend I&rsquo;d had since the late May bank holiday in 1994. First she took me sledding, down a mountain on the North Czech border &ndash; the second biggest mountain in the country, I think. She saved me from shooting right across a ski piste by kicking my completely-out-of-control sled out from under me, leaving me with the relatively modest problem of sliding down a ski slope on my face, trying to decelerate with hands, feet, teeth and attempting (and signally failing) to think sexy thoughts.<br \/> <br \/>She told me that she knew I was approaching by the Doppler shift in my scream as I hurtled down the sled track.<br \/> <br \/>When my pulse dropped back down to the low 300s, I did the next bit on the back of her sled, then walked the rest of the way down. I needed about four beers to stop the worst of the shaking. Oddly, she refused any.<br \/> <br \/>Then, just as I put her on her bus home to Brno on Sunday night, she told me she was pregnant.<br \/> <br \/>I was already flat-hunting, but suddenly, it gained new urgency. I found a decent little place in Kobylisy. It&rsquo;s not perfect &ndash; it&rsquo;s in a tower block, a &ldquo;panel&aacute;k&rdquo; as they&rsquo;re called over here, but only a small, eight-storey one. It&rsquo;s on the ground floor, but it&rsquo;s raised &ndash; passers-by can&rsquo;t see in. There&rsquo;s a balcony, and two basements (one tiny, one small). There&rsquo;s step-free access. I&rsquo;m now renting a third basement, which is huge &ndash; about 35-40m&sup2;. It costs me about &pound;30 a month. It&rsquo;s in a housing estate, but right at the top of a hill &ndash; past my building, there is only some woodland. I&rsquo;m right at the end of a tram line, by the depot, which means a very regular service day and night, as well as half a dozen bus routes and a brisk 10 minute walk downhill walk to the metro.<br \/> <br \/>And there&rsquo;s a spare room. Do come visit.<br \/> <br \/>I&rsquo;ve never bought a house in a foreign country before, one where I don&rsquo;t speak a useful amount of the language. I&rsquo;ve never bought property in cash before&hellip; and there&rsquo;s a lot of stuff the bank does for you when you take out a mortgage that you have to do yourself without one.<br \/> <br \/>I went to the city registry office in Brno and with the aid of an interpreter &ndash; thank you, Helena! &ndash; I registered as the father of the child. The law predates antenatal scans and the like, so we had to register male and female names. Czech law also only recognises two names: given name and family name. No middle name.<br \/> <br \/>We had decided on &ldquo;Ada&rdquo; for a girl. I argued for Ninkasi, but it&rsquo;s not in the Official Czech Book of Names so no, and there are no middle names. As a small tribute to my late father, I wanted &ldquo;Ian Terence&rdquo; as the male name, but no. &ldquo;Terence&rdquo; is not a name in Czech law. In vain did I point out Sir Terence Pratchett, Terry Scott, Terence &ldquo;Spike&rdquo; Milligan. No. She didn&rsquo;t want to allow Ada or Ian either, but both were in the book, so they were duly recorded.<br \/> <br \/>I moved out of my comfy if slightly shabby city-centre room in a shared flat into an empty flat on the outskirts. I had to start buying furniture again. I had a month or so to settle in, then a heavily-pregnant Jana moved in with me.<br \/> <br \/>This did not stop her painting and decorating, incidentally. Czech womenfolk are hardy.<br \/> <br \/>About six weeks or so later, Jana phoned me at work. Her waters had broken, but no contractions had started yet. I asked her if she had called a taxi to the hospital. No, she said, there were no contractions. I told her to go, immediately. No, it&rsquo;s fine, she said. She had lunch and then took a tram. Czech womenfolk are very hardy.<br \/> <br \/>They induced her artificially. The next morning I was in Bulovka maternity hospital watching her give birth. (Remember the Ashya King case, the little boy with a brain tumour whose parents abducted him for proton beam therapy? <b>That<\/b> hospital. He&rsquo;s alive and well, by the way.)<br \/> <br \/>It was very harrowing indeed to watch. The tiny cone-head alien that emerged from her was yellow, with a purple head that came to a point. Within an hour it turned pink, though. The next day, the point was very rounded, and the next day, it had a human-shaped head.<br \/> <br \/>The day after that, they came home.<br \/> <br \/>Life is very different now. I don&rsquo;t get to out very much. I hardly ever get to just go for a beer with friends. Jana gave me a membership to a &ldquo;beer of the month&rdquo; club instead, so I get the occasional one at home. I have almost caught up with &ldquo;Game of Thrones&rdquo; though, and am making headway on &ldquo;the Expanse&rdquo;. &ldquo;Rick and Morty&rdquo; failed to grab me, but I am happy to say that Jana enjoys &ldquo;Invader Zim&rdquo;.<br \/> <br \/>The first month or month and a half were exhausting &ndash; mainly for her, but for me too. I only got a week&rsquo;s paternity leave, so only a few days after they came home, I had to return to work. In the evening, I would come home and take over caring for baby Ada, feeding her formula, changing her nappy, walking around with her on my shoulder, while Jana got a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.<br \/> <br \/>I lost about ten kilos in weight. Sometimes, when I got in from work, I was just too tired to eat, or simply forgot. That and the reduced beer intake were enough. Colleagues started to comment on it.<br \/> <br \/>Babies are not like you imagine. For example, yes, we all know they cry, and we all know they make gurgling goo-goo noises&hellip; but they in fact they make tons of noises, all the time. They gasp and wheeze and pant, they murmur and squeak and moan and groan and snore. They very audibly strain when they poop, and they poop a lot. I don&rsquo;t know why they strain so much as it&rsquo;s liquid, and yes, Robin Williams was right, it&rsquo;s green at first. But grunt and strain and cough and sneeze they do, a lot. They fart a lot, too.<br \/> <br \/>They can see early on. They love faces, including their own. Ada was fascinated by the bookshelves in my living room. Two walls are floor-to-ceiling books. One wall is SF &amp; fantasy, and it&rsquo;s quite colourful. The other wall has all the hardbacks, the nonfiction, the non-genre fiction, the graphic novels, etc. They aren&rsquo;t sorted yet and a lot are not spine-outward, but blank paper-side-out. Oddly, that is the wall that fascinated Ada from a month or so old.<br \/> <br \/>We also have a big bold pattern of red stripes on the main bedroom wall, which we kept from the previous owners. She likes those stripes a lot, too.<br \/> <br \/>Evolution is an interesting thing. At about two months, just about the point when we were starting to consider that King Herod was a much-misunderstood man, she started to smile at us. That changes everything.<br \/> <br \/>At three months, she started tracking moving objects with eye and&nbsp; head movements. Her favourite thing now became the clockwork mobile of bunny-rabbits and teddy-bears endlessly circling a yacht which hangs above her cot. The mechanism also contains a music-box, whose melody has at times pushed me to the brink of sanity, but it&rsquo;s OK, I didn&rsquo;t fall in.<br \/> <br \/>A snag was that by month three, Jana was able to produce enough breast milk for us to stop giving her artificial formula feed, and within weeks, Ada would no longer accept a bottle. This meant I could no longer feed her, which I found I really missed. It was valuable bonding time.<br \/> <br \/>If placed on her tummy, at this age, she could lift her head up and look around her. Before that, if placed on my chest, she laid her head on me and just went to sleep, which I found delightful and quite amazingly relaxing, like deep meditation. (No, computer, not deep medication.) But she wasn&rsquo;t and isn&rsquo;t yet strong enough to hold her head up like this indefinitely, and when she tires, she cries.<br \/> <br \/>Soon after this, she started reaching for objects, but she didn&rsquo;t know what to do when she got them. I also had my beard trimmed much shorter at this time.<br \/> <br \/>At four months, she would reach out and grab anything interesting and if she got it, she put it in her mouth. Her range of vocalisations has also been steadily increasing and now includes most of the vowel sounds. Imitating her utterances back at her seems to delight her.<br \/> <br \/>At about five months, she started to giggle at things occasionally. It&rsquo;s still not often but it happens. It&rsquo;s a gurgling, coughing sort of laugh, but it&rsquo;s laughter. If she&rsquo;s distracted by toys, she will stay on her belly for quite a long time now &ndash; maybe half an hour or so. She likes rattles and things but spends more time chewing or sucking them than shaking them.<br \/> <br \/>She&rsquo;s nearly five and a half months old now, and we&rsquo;re starting to give her food other than mother&rsquo;s milk. She seems to like pur&eacute;ed carrots, carrot and pumpkin, and she will drink carrot juice from a bottle, so I can occasionally feed her again. It is, of course, a quite heroically messy process, and thus far she will only take a few spoonsful, but it&rsquo;s a start.<br \/> <br \/>Early winter was cold. My cheapo Primark Berlin trainers were no longer adequate, so I bought a pair of cheapo Lidl trainers instead. Not quite as comfy but fine. However, within days, I developed knee-ache. First in the right leg, the ostensibly-undamaged one, then in the left too. I stopped wearing the trainers and switched to boots but the knee pain didn&rsquo;t abate. It just transferred mainly to the left knee, the one in my metal leg.<br \/> <br \/>One day, a week into December, the pain was bad enough that I took a walking-stick to work. That evening, on my way from Marks and Spencer with a backpack full of Yuletide goodies, the bad knee gave out altogether when hastening to catch a tram. It emitted a sort of twang noise as if something snapped inside and I nearly collapsed. Luckily I managed to grab a concrete wastebin to save myself from falling. Sadly, with the hand holding my phone, which suffered.<br \/> <br \/>After 10 minutes of extreme pain, I found it would hold my weight if kept locked straight, so &ndash; as I&rsquo;d been given a rare night off to go to a pub quiz &ndash; I went to the pub. I mean, I did have a walking stick. The next morning, I went to hospital &ndash; the proton-beam one &ndash; where they couldn&rsquo;t find anything wrong but decided none of my metalwork had come adrift or moved. It didn&rsquo;t swell up which is apparently a good sign.<br \/> <br \/>I was on crutches for weeks, then a stick for some months.<br \/> <br \/>It&rsquo;s still not right now, in March. I&rsquo;ve had three injections of hyaluronic acid directly into the knee joint, which lubricates it and temporarily makes it work better. The doctors all think it&rsquo;s due to the bike crash. I should start physio soon and get some orthotic inserts for my shoes, which may help, but it&rsquo;s not right.<br \/> <br \/>As a result, all the weight I lost is back and more. Which, of course, doesn&rsquo;t help the knee or the failing hip either. It&rsquo;s a salad for lunch every day, even less beer, and generally less food. I am slowly creeping back down again. I can&rsquo;t easily take Ada in a papoose, which is a great pity.<br \/> <br \/>Fatherhood is not quite what I expected. Yes, the mess, the crying, the disturbed sleep, the baby stuff everywhere, all that. Yes, the dramatically curtailed lifestyle, but honestly, since I hit my fifties, that was getting too much for me anyway. In Brno I still did quite a lot of carousing and partying, but since I moved to Prague a few months before my fiftieth birthday, that&rsquo;s almost all stopped. I bought bifocal spectacles, then soon afterwards, fell and dislocated my left shoulder, leading to months of pain and major inconvenience followed by significant surgery.<br \/> <br \/>Now the arm is stable again, and I wear varifocal lenses, but of course the knee is problematic. In a couple of months, it will be the 26<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of my bike crash. It will, literally, be half my life ago.<br \/> <br \/>Since then, I&rsquo;ve been engaged, tried polyamory and failed, been clinically depressed, had therapy and antidepressants, quit drinking alcohol, got my head together somewhat after some years, stopped the antidepressants and started drinking alcohol again in greater moderation. I rebooted my career, right before the financial crisis destroyed it again. I sold my second book, giving me a little money to pay for to train as a teacher of English as a Second Language. I&rsquo;ve moved abroad, lost my new job, found another one, sold my house, returned to freelancing, semi-retired, got bored, gone back into work, changed cities and started a new job, back in open source again, working with Linux &ndash; and which soon will be the longest I&rsquo;ve ever stayed with one employer. I got a steady girlfriend for the first time in years.<br \/> <br \/>But all that pales in comparison with becoming a father.<br \/> <br \/>I am, to be honest, struggling to adjust. My life has changed more in the last 6 months than in the preceding six years. Even changing countries did not compare. I feel like a pinball, ricocheting from bumper to flipper to kicker to slingshot, punctuated with occasional ramps and flying saucers and more. My work is suffering, and so is what I laughingly call my mental stability.<br \/> <br \/>And yet, when I cuddle Ada, it sometimes feels very very good. When I come home from work, her mother carries her to greet me and they both smile at me, and while it echoes many cultural stereotypes, it also feels very good. I am a family man now.<br \/> <br \/>My mother, initially sceptical, is utterly besotted with her tiny new granddaughter. I took the whole family to the Isle of Man for Yule. I think I have never seen my mother so happy. At 82 and only a few months after significant leg surgery, she got down onto the floor to play with the baby, and back up again, unaided. She also changed her first nappy in about fifty years. She kept my christening clothes, my hairbrush, and my first cutlery set all this time, hoping that they would get used again, and they did.<br \/> <br \/>I don&rsquo;t know what will come next. I am on a fixed-term contract which ends in August. It&rsquo;s already been extended once, but a second is not possible &ndash; the person for whom I&rsquo;m standing in should return from maternity leave in September. Either way, I will be looking for another new job. Around the time Ada turns one year old, I will be facing new challenges.<br \/> <br \/>Only slightly more than a year ago, everything was very very different and very much easier. Now, almost all my savings are gone, and what&rsquo;s left may go on a family car. But I own my home outright and I don&rsquo;t owe a cent to anyone. I am an Irish citizen now, so Brexit doesn&rsquo;t directly affect me. I retain my right to live and work wherever I want in the EU. For now, though, I have applied for permanent residence here in Czechia. It took two tries and the assistance of a professional agency &ndash; don&rsquo;t believe anyone who tells you that things like getting official residence, or a second citizenship, are trivial formalities: they are not. But they took my forms. It should go through.<br \/> <a name='cutid1-end'><\/a><br \/>The older you get, the faster life passes. I&rsquo;m heading for my mid-fifties and the years jush whizz by in a few subjective weeks. But moving to a new country and starting over certainly slows things down for a while. 2014 and 2015 felt like they lasted a year each, and that hadn&rsquo;t happened in decades.<br \/> <br \/>But since autumn 2019&hellip; wow. A lifetime. Ada&rsquo;s lifetime.<br \/> <br \/>I hope she gets a lot more than I fear she might, and I hope that I&rsquo;m there to share the first couple of decades of it.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/307192.html?view=comments#comments","category":["jana","ada","life","fatherhood"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306895.html","pubDate":"Wed, 23 Oct 2019 12:13:26 GMT","title":"\"Retromancer, or, help help I've been Tuckerised\"","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306895.html","description":"That writer of far-fetched fiction Robert Rankin is quite an old friend of mine. I&#39;m in the dedication of one of his novels, but even further than that, I&#39;m a very minor character in another of them.<br \/><br \/>I recently stumbled across the relevant section when Googling for something, so here, for your amusement, is an extract.<br \/><br \/>&laquo;<br \/>The Savoy Grill quite took my fancy and, as I was certain that it survived the war, I thought that when (or perhaps if) I returned to my own time, I would visit it again to see how much it had changed.<p align=\"justify\">On stage was a band called Liam Proven&rsquo;s Lords-a-Leaping Jazz Cats. The band leader Liam was an imposing figure in white tie, tailcoat and khaki shorts. There seemed to be a novelty element to the performance, with constant humorous interjections of the, &lsquo;I say, I say, I say, my wife once went to Hartlepool on a charabanc.&rsquo;<\/p><p align=\"justify\">&lsquo;Zulus?&rsquo;<\/p><p align=\"justify\">&lsquo;Yes, thousands of them.&rsquo;<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Followed by a drum-roll and a cymbal-crash.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">&lsquo;It is hard to believe, I know,&rsquo; said Hugo Rune, taking out a pre-lunch cigar and slotting it into his mouth, &lsquo;but fifty years from now no one will remember Liam Proven.&rsquo;<\/p><p align=\"justify\">&lsquo;I will remember him,&rsquo; I said to Hugo Rune. And I do remember him well.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">The band launched into a number called &lsquo;When Common Sense Walks on a Single Leg, I&rsquo;ll Wear My Viable Trousers&rsquo;, and we launched into our soup.<br \/>&raquo;<br \/><img alt=\"\u0427\u0438\u0442\u0430\u0442\u044c \u043e\u043d\u043b\u0430\u0439\u043d - Rankin Robert. Retromancer | \u042d\u043b\u0435\u043a\u0442\u0440\u043e\u043d\u043d\u0430\u044f ...\" class=\"\" data-atf=\"true\" data-deferred=\"1\" data-h=\"705\" data-iml=\"2687.14\" data-w=\"467\" src=\"https:\/\/e-libra.su\/files\/books\/2019\/11\/16\/575889\/pic_14.jpg\" style=\"height: 705px; width: 467px; margin: 0px;\" fetchpriority=\"high\" \/><br \/>&laquo;<br \/>Liam Proven&rsquo;s Lords-a-Leaping Jazz Cats struck up the lively refrain &lsquo;My Love for You Is as Inappropriate as a Grocer&rsquo;s Apostrophe, Yet Sweeter than a Butcher&rsquo;s Turn-Up&rsquo;.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Which was so damned catchy that I knew I would be whistling it for months.<br \/>&raquo;<br \/><br \/>&laquo;<br \/>It had seemed such a trifling matter, really. Hugo Rune had scribbled a request onto one of his calling cards and had it passed to Mr Proven. The tune in question that he wished to hear being that ever-popular standard &lsquo;It&rsquo;s Always Raining Dumplings When You&rsquo;re on the Gravy Train&rsquo;. Mr Proven bowed to this request, announced it through the microphone and then turned with his baton to the band. But then a question of tempo arose which somewhat spoiled the mood.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">&lsquo;It&rsquo;s Always Raining Dumplings&rsquo; is always played as &lsquo;swing&rsquo;. And as everyone knows, swing is basically a four-four shuffle. As opposed to rock &rsquo;n&rsquo; roll, which is all straight eights with a back beat, or waltz, which is three-four with an anticipated second beat. Swing is rarely, if ever, in fact never never, presented in five-four. An unnatural rhythm, which although finding favour in the nineteen sixties with such luminaries as Don Van Vliet, brought gratings to the nerves of the bright young things who thronged to the Savoy Grill.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">It was the drummer who started the trouble, but is that not always the way?<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Liam Proven had prefaced the requested tune with a most amusing jape which ran in this fashion:<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Liam: I say, I say, I say, what do you call a fellow who hangs around with musicians?<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Guitarist: A drummer.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">Somewhat ancient that gag is now, but bright and new back then. The drummer failed to respond with the drum-roll and cymbal-crash and when the song began took to a five-four time signature that threw all his jovial comrades out of tempo. I thought this most amusing and clapped my hands to the beat as best I could. Mr Proven, however, drew his baton across his throat and demanded that the band begin again with the drummer called to order. The band began again, but this time the drummer put down his sticks and took to reading a book.<br \/>&raquo;<br \/><br \/>&laquo;<br \/>We did not take too many beers. In fact we were quite restrained. I drove the taxi back to the manse, picking up fish and chips on the way that we might enjoy for some dinner.<\/p><p align=\"justify\">And fish and chips in the paper, on your knee in a cosy chair, by the wireless set, is as English as English can be. And I switched on the wireless set to listen to the news. And perhaps catch some popular dance band music of the day. But probably not one led by Liam Proven.<br \/>&raquo;<\/p><p align=\"justify\"><\/p><p align=\"justify\"><\/p><p align=\"justify\"><\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306895.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306603.html","pubDate":"Tue, 21 May 2019 16:25:39 GMT","title":"More fun with Czech [#projectPrague blog post]","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306603.html","description":"<p><span>I have now, apparently, surpassed A1 level. Which is good, but it&#39;s taken 5 years of on-and-off studying. My 5th anniversary here was at the end of April. I am finding this hard to believe.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>But I am still grappling with the language.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>I have a very vague hope that It is possible that my Czech will have substantially improved before it&#39;s time to take my daughter to kindergarten, or p&aelig;diatrician, or anything. But not very likely, I fear. Czech is<span> <\/span><\/span><b>savagely<\/b><span><span> <\/span>difficult and my <\/span><span>improvement is<span> <\/span><\/span><i>glacial<\/i><span>.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>4 genders, invisible diacritics, invisible letters that aren&#39;t written but you must pronounce (which I personally think is worse than English&#39;s silent letters), consonants that are sometimes vowels, vowels that are written differently and have different meanings but sound identical (again, IMHO worse than English&#39;s 5 symbols for 20 vowel sounds). 7 cases, and a complex system of prepositions to go with them. Only 3 pure tenses (but then English only has 2, plus in the region of<span> <\/span><\/span><b>120<\/b><span><span> <\/span>(!) modal auxiliaries and moods\/modes) but a complex system of &quot;long&quot; and &quot;short&quot;, &quot;perfective&quot; and &quot;imperfective&quot; forms&nbsp;and combinations thereof, depending on when it&#39;s happening, whether it&#39;s instant or over a period, whether it ends at the time being spoken about or continues through it, whether you do it regularly or not, etc.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Anyway. After 5y, I&#39;ve now moved past ordering a beer and can just about get past using the human-staffed lines in the supermarket as opposed to self-service tills. I can buy a train ticket and order a meal, but if they ask me how it was, it goes pear-shaped very fast.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>At 20 I picked up basic German in 3 days of hard work, by way of comparison.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>&quot;Just copy the patterns&quot; is what my native friends keep urging me, but they (patterns not friends) are fractal in their complexity. (Well, friends too, I suppose.) Adults native speakers have no idea whatsoever how it all works, they just copy it instinctively.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>This is perfectly normal. Native speakers never do. Example: what&#39;s the difference between &quot;him&quot; and &quot;he&quot;? Why?<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>When you make a 2nd order conditional, what tenses do the 2 verbs take, as opposed to a first order conditional? How about 3rd order?<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>I bet nobody here knows. I didn&#39;t before my TEFL course, and I was a professional editor.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Examples in case it helps:<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>1st order: &quot;If it rains, I&#39;ll get wet.&quot;<\/span><br \/><span>2nd order: &quot;It I won the lottery, I&#39;d buy a Peraves Monotracer.&quot;<\/span><br \/><span>3rd order: &quot;If I&#39;d studied music as a kid, I&#39;d have played in a band as a teenager.&quot;<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>One thing that is<span> <\/span><\/span><i>particularly<\/i><span><span> <\/span>confusing to me is that the patterns in Czech are<span> <\/span><\/span><i>reused<\/i><span><span> <\/span>a lot.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>For example, masculine nouns end in a consonant.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>(It is of course not as simple as that. Masculine<span> <\/span><\/span><i>animate<\/i><span><span> <\/span>nouns<span> <\/span><\/span><i>mostly<\/i><span><span> <\/span>end in &quot;hard&quot; consonants, masculine<span> <\/span><\/span><i>inanimate<\/i><span><span> <\/span>nouns end in &quot;soft&quot; consonants, and there are neutral consonants which can be either.)<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Feminine nouns end in a vowel, often &quot;a&quot;.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>So, um, &quot;mu\u017e&quot; is a man, but &quot;\u017eena&quot; is a woman.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>But<span> <\/span><\/span><b>only in nominative case.<\/b><br \/><br \/><span>To mark a masculine animate noun as accusative, that is the object of a (subset of) verb(s), (maybe, it depends), which is mandatory by the way, you add an &quot;a&quot; onto the end.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>So &quot;David invites Martin&quot; (meaning, for a drink), would be &quot;David zve Martina&quot;.<br \/><br \/><b>[EDIT: yes, as a demo of the trickiness, I got it wrong. &quot;Zvu&quot; is 1st person: &quot;I invite&quot;. 3rd person is &quot;zve&quot;. *Sigh* Not intentional, and thanks for the corrections. Yes, plural.]<\/b><\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Poor Martin (male name) just got a sex change and is now Martina (female name).<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>&quot;David invites Martina&quot; would be &quot;David zve Martinu&quot;. The feminine noun takes a different ending in accusative, natch.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>So you have to be able to do basic grammatical analysis on the sentence to know that the name Martin has undergone declension (and of course<span> <\/span><\/span><i>which<\/i><span><span> <\/span>declension, as there are 7 for all 4 genders, a basic 28 forms, but they&#39;re usually different for plurals, and there are 2 plurals, one for 2-4 and one for 5+.)<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Otherwise, if you don&#39;t know that, well, I would assume Martina was a woman, because it&#39;s a woman&#39;s name.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>The patterns overlap. Some declensions take endings _off_ the words, of course, because otherwise it&#39;d be too easy and no fun*. (*I presume this is why they did it**.) (**Yes I am kidding.)<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>1 car: auto (nominative neuter)<\/span><br \/><span>2 cars: auta (nominative plural,<span> <\/span><\/span><i>not<\/i><span><span> <\/span>feminine)<\/span><br \/><span>5 cars: aut (high plural, i.e. neuter genitive)<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>And some nouns<span> <\/span><\/span><b>do<\/b><span><span> <\/span>change gender when in plural.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Also, uniquely in my experience, verbs and adverbs take gender. Sometimes. Forget that and you give extreme offence when just asking someone a simple question.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>I knew Hebrew did this but I didn&#39;t know the Indo-European family of languages did.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Recreationally learning Czech feels a bit like recreationally hammering nails into your head.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>But I can&#39;t just stop, because I live here, I like it here, and I want to be able to speak to my partner in her own language, and maybe appreciate some Czech classics of literature in their original form.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Like Kafka. Oh hang on, he wrote in German. &quot;Metamorphosis&quot; is a mistranslation: it doesn&#39;t say Sansa became an insect at all.<\/span><br \/><br \/><span>Er. The Good Soldier &Scaron;vejk, then.<\/span><br \/><br \/>As a no more than indifferent hobby linguist, I used to think I knew a bit and had some modest skill in that area, until I came here. I then discovered that some of the way-out stuff I&#39;d heard of -- Mandarin, Vietnamese or Thai tones:<br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2015\/11\/tone-deaf.html' rel='nofollow'>http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2015\/11\/tone-deaf.html<\/a><br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2016\/05\/tonal-trickiness.html' rel='nofollow'>http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2016\/05\/tonal-trickiness.html<\/a><br \/><br \/>...&nbsp; Cantonese&#39;s swallowed vowels, or Quechua&#39;s evidentiality ( <a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Evidentiality' rel='nofollow'>https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Evidentiality<\/a> ) -- that&#39;s big-picture stuff.<br \/><br \/>But the Slavic languages... sheesh. They&#39;re our near-neighbours, culturally and linguistically they&#39;re siblings. And then they throw gendered <b>verbs<\/b> at you?<br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2015\/05\/identity-confusion.html' rel='nofollow'>http:\/\/www.itchyfeetcomic.com\/2015\/05\/identity-confusion.html<\/a><br \/><br \/>I mean I regularly call my girlfriend a man.<br \/><br \/>Czech doesn&#39;t have a verb that means &quot;to like&quot;. It has to love, but to say you like something, you say:<br \/><br \/>M&aacute;m rad pivo.<br \/><br \/>(I) gladly have beer, or (I) have beer gladly.<br \/><br \/>The verb encodes the identity of the person so they discard the pronoun, like Spanish.<br \/><br \/>But adverbs take a gender. I can&#39;t do conditionals yet, so I don&#39;t know how to say &quot;would you like a cup of tea?&quot;, but if I said to Jana, &quot;like a cup of tea?&quot;<br \/><br \/>M&aacute;s rad \u010daj?<br \/><br \/>That sentence encodes 2 pitfalls. &quot;M&aacute;&scaron;&quot; is the intimate form and I would be offensive if I said &quot;M&aacute;te rad \u010daj?&quot; because that <i>also<\/i> means &quot;(you) like tea?&quot; but it is the formal form for someone you don&#39;t know<br \/>very well.<br \/><br \/>But both also say &quot;like a tea, Mr Clearly Male Man?&quot;<br \/><br \/>To a woman I must say &quot;m&aacute;te rada \u010daj?&quot; or &quot;ma&scaron; rada \u010daj?&quot;<br \/><br \/>I&#39;d never met anything like that before, from French to Japanese, and I regularly forget.<br \/><br \/>This is after easy beginner stuff like the tons of &quot;accents&quot; they put on consonants. I only knew how to handle accents on vowels: fianc&eacute;e, na&iuml;ve, etc. The French cedilla in Fran&ccedil;ais and gar&ccedil;on honestly doesn&#39;t seem to make any consistent difference.<br \/><br \/>But Czech has &scaron; for sh, \u010d for ch and so on, plus \u0165 for ty, \u010f for dy, \u0148 for ny -- but they usually don&#39;t bother to write those because you must always say ty if the t is followed by i, for example. (Except when you don&#39;t, such as foreign words.)<br \/><br \/>We western Europeans take so very much for granted, and even other white, broadly Christian Europeans have profoundly different languages to us. And if Sapir and Whorf are right, then that means a very different world-view.<br \/><br \/>Which has made me re-assess so many things. How the different languages like the many African and both North and South American work, and what it&#39;s like to see the world through them. What it&#39;s like to have to live and work and learn in Spanish or English, languages which lack even simple basic stuff like stating how true you&nbsp; judge something to be.<br \/><\/p>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306603.html?view=comments#comments","category":["projectprague","tefl","czech","grammar"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306235.html","pubDate":"Sun, 19 Aug 2018 12:59:55 GMT","title":"The Patchwork Man [#projectPrague]","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306235.html","description":"<p>Back in October last year, a friend of mine was visiting Prague on a work trip. We met for a few beers. Literally three I think.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, on my way to the Metro after walking back to his hotel with him, I tripped and fell going into the station. He was very helpful and paid for a taxi home. However, as it crossed some of Prague's ubiquitous cobbles, I moaned in pain.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The taxi driver asked if maybe he should take me to hospital, rather than home. I reluctantly agreed. I asked which hospital.<\/p>\n<p>\"Karlovo N\u00e1m\u011bsti,\" he said.<\/p>\n<p>\"But I live there. I thought you were taking me to hospital!\"<\/p>\n<p>\"I am.\"&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\"But which hospital?\"<\/p>\n<p>\"Karlovo N\u00e1m\u011bsti.\"<\/p>\n<p>\"That's where I live! Where is the hospital?\"<\/p>\n<p>\"Karlovo N\u00e1m\u011bsti.\" &nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>There was a hospital in my square and I didn't even know.<\/p>\n<p>With the help of a porter who spoke no English but a little German, I found the emergency department. They attempted to relocate it for an hour which was excruciating, damaged the joint extensively and ultimately failed. They had to do a nerve-block and then it slipped in easily.<\/p>\n<p>They kept me in overnight. That was \"interesting,\" but the some of the nurses spoke quite good English and they were very helpful. They even provided &nbsp;a vegetarian lunch on no notice at all.<\/p>\n<p>I had to wear an orthesis to secure it. A week later, I rolled over in bed (in the orthesis, note) and it dislocated again. I hobbled across the square to the hospital (walking with a dislocated arm is extremely painful), in my pyjamas.<\/p>\n<p>Rinse and repeat. At least, since it &nbsp;was 7AM, I hadn't eaten or drunk, so they could do a general an\u00e6sthetic and put it back in with less of a fight.<\/p>\n\n<p>This led to two months in a brace and off work on sick leave. The local late-night curry shop got a lot of business off me.<\/p>\n<p>I'm really crippled without it \u2014 I am left handed, and my right arm is badly damaged from a big bicycle crash at uni in '86 and a big motorbike crash (in '94, the one that resulted in my ZZR11 trike.) I have limited movement in it \u2014 wrist, forearm, upper arm and shoulder are all damaged and made of a mix of steel and bone grafts, and it's weak. I can't cook, wash up, and can barely feed myself.<\/p>\n<p>I recovered by early December and spent Christmas in Brno, my former hometown... which led to getting together with a friend of mine from a few years ago.<\/p>\n<p>In June , I went to Brno to visit the new girlfriend and (among other things) watch the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ignisbrunensis.cz\/?setLanguage=eng\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">international fireworks festival<\/a>, with a mate and <em>his<\/em> new girlfriend.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Afterwards, as 30,000 people are all trying to get the tram back to town at once, we two couples are lying in the grass having a kiss and cuddle and letting the crowds go for the tram.<\/p>\n<p>A drunk local tried to walk<em> through<\/em> the piece of grass Jana and I were lying on. He fell over me, kicking me hard in the face as he went. Knocked off my glasses, and it really hurt.<\/p>\n<p>So, on the tram back later, I was protectively holding Jana in my arm as we stood on the packed tram. Holding on with my left arm, holding her with my right.<\/p>\n<p>The tram lurched and something tore in my shoulder. I could hear it go. It was very painful, too. I lowered the arm and the pain immediately abated. On Sunday, it felt normal \u2014 no pain or stiffness.<\/p>\n<p>I had just bought a used Retina iMac from a friend. On Monday morning, I carried it to the train and all the way to Prague on the train. Up five flights of stairs, left it in my room, and went to work. 17kg, more in its box. The arm didn't complain at all. I thought it was fine.<\/p>\n<p>I went to a pub quiz moderated by a friend of mine who was returning to the USA walked into a dark basement youth-hostel bar on a sunny Prague evening.<\/p>\n<p>In the contrast from sun to gloom, I couldn't see that after the left turn and door, there were two more steps. I took them both in one giant stumbling pace and my arm fell off. I didn't even fall over.<\/p>\n<p>A couple Spanish backpackers tried to help but I was in too much pain to remember my Spanish. They brought me a chair, I sat down, cradling my arm, and after a minute or two, I relaxed infinitesimally and it slid back into joint with a weird &gt;squish-pop&lt; sensation and a massive drop in pain levels to \"owww that <strong>really<\/strong> fucking hurts ow ow ow\".<\/p>\n<p>I thanked them in Spanish, entered the quiz on my own, writing with my right hand, and won it.<\/p>\n<p>Since it was back in, I didn't go to hospital that day. I put the orthesis back on, took a sick day, and went to hospital to see my specialist on Wednesday morning. It's the only morning that the orthop\u00e6dic clinic is open.<\/p>\n<p>He said that it clearly wasn't stable and he needed to operate.<\/p>\n<p>The op was 3\u00bd weeks ago now. Basically, they detached my arm, put clips into my shoulder-blade from the front, through the open joint, clipped the ligament capsule onto these, then reattached the arm.<\/p>\n<p>The surgeon described it as \"tricky\" but he said it went well.<\/p>\n<p>I must wear this big orthop\u00e6dic brace \u2014 a little like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.physioroom.com\/product\/Ultimate_Performance_Advanced_Shoulder_Support\/3069\/40309.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">this one<\/a> \u2014 24x7 for 6 weeks. I can't really use my left arm \u2014 I mustn't move the shoulder \u2014 but I can take it off to bathe and wear a T shirt under the orthesis, which really helps. But it's a Czech summer, so it's usually 32-35\u2070. I'm very sweaty and uncomfortable most of the time.<\/p>\n<p>My physio starts at the end of this month. Apparently I am likely to lose 20% or more of the shoulder rotation, but I think I can live with that. We'll see.<\/p>\n<a name='cutid1-end'><\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/306235.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305928.html","pubDate":"Tue, 19 Jun 2018 16:30:58 GMT","title":"I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien [sort of #ProjectPrague blog post]","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305928.html","description":"[Patched together from 2 mailing list comments. Apologies for any remaining disjointness.]<br \/><br \/>The more about Brexit I read, the commentary, the discussions, especially from pro-Leavers, even the most cool-tempered, moderate, reasonable ones... it&#39;s the kind of indiscriminate nonsense and hostility that makes me glad that I no longer live anywhere on that septic island, and hope that I never have to return on a permanent basis.<br \/><br \/>I mean, sure, Moravians don&#39;t like Bohemians, while Bohemians regard Moravia as an empty tract of wasteland. Moravians sometimes also have a very slight distrust of Slovakians because apparently Slovakia sided with Bohemia about something, a thousand years ago. Something like that.<br \/><br \/>I don&#39;t have to care, because I don&#39;t belong to any of them. It&#39;s all equal to me.<br \/><br \/>Technically, legally, I was born in Liverpool. The town containing the hospital and my parents&#39; home, 15 miles away.<br \/><br \/>Then the town I was born in was rezoned into West Lancashire. Does that make me Liverpudlian or Lancastrian? I don&#39;t care, my family left both forever in the 1970s and I never wish to return for more than an overnight stop, ta. There&#39;s nothing there that I associate with, no particular pleasant memories, no childhood close friends.<br \/><br \/>The Lancastrian accent is a damned sight more appealing. However, I can&#39;t fake it well enough to fool Lancastrians, whereas I can fake Scouse well enough to pass -- at least if I&#39;m drunk enough.<br \/><br \/>Normally, I speak RP.<br \/><br \/>But in London, I was a Northerner, blunt to the point of rudeness. I lived there for 22 years and it&#39;s far more &quot;home&quot; than Liverpool or Lydiate or Ormskirk or anywhere on the Isle of Man.<br \/><br \/>Back in the North West, I was a sellout who moved to Mordor. Now, to my Moravian friends, I&#39;m a sellout who moved to Mordor.<br \/><br \/>When I visited Newcastle or somewhere, or to my mates from around there, I&#39;m not a Northerner at all.<br \/><br \/>To be frank, to me, it&#39;s all tiresome shite.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;m British by birth, but I don&#39;t miss it. Bitter, mild, porter, golden ale; salt&#39;n&#39;vinegar crisps; good chips. You can keep everything else. I&#39;m English but I found Scotland a lot more appealing, except for the weather.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;m Irish by adoption but can&#39;t afford to live there.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;m Czech by residence but I&#39;m never going to master this language. I&#39;ll never belong.<br \/><br \/>So what does that leave me? I don&#39;t really care. I&#39;m free. I can go where I want. For now, I like it here. I hope to live in some other countries and sample some other cultures.<br \/><br \/>All this partisan stuff, of belonging somewhere and not liking anywhere else because it&#39;s Foreign, is alien and ugly and iniquitous to me. Even if it&#39;s a harmless bit of fun, it&#39;s the sort of thinking that leads to football mob violence, Brexit and war.<br \/><br \/>I will have no part of it.<br \/><br \/>I don&#39;t really &quot;get&quot; regional pride. I mean, yes, I am aware of the &quot;Northern bluntness&quot; thing and I don&#39;t mind that at all, but with a childhood shuttling between outer Liverpool, Nigeria, inner Liverpool, Southport, the Isle of Man and then London for unversity, my accent went all over the place and it taught me that it was <i>useful<\/i> to be able to adjust said accent a little bit from one region to another.<br \/><br \/>I don&#39;t feel I particularly <i>belong<\/i> anywhere. I feel very faint nostalgia for early childhood in Lydiate. Much more for Nigeria. I hated school, loved university, so that gave me a fondness for the south east, and when I was able, I headed back there.<br \/><br \/>Some 22 years later, life in credit-crunch London was getting shitty, for a 40something techie... so when the chance of a job in Brno came up, I leapt at it.<br \/><br \/>Friends have gone &quot;oh that was so brave!&quot; or &quot;I could never do that!&quot; or &quot;I could never live in country where I don&#39;t speak the language!&quot;<br \/><br \/>It was no big deal. It really genuinely wasn&#39;t. Emptying the house was hard work, and I owe a couple of friends who helped a lot. But surprisingly few of them. The paperwork for renting and then actually selling it was a pain. It involved a few flights and inconvenient train journeys. My last 3 or 4 days in London, I rented a car, something so dramatically atypical for me it&#39;s hard to describe. I dislike driving, I dislike cars, but I needed it.<br \/><br \/>So, you know, a few days&#39; hard work here and there, and bam, I was in South Moravia wondering WTF I was doing. But then the new job started and about 3 days later I was too busy to worry. So I haven&#39;t done, since then.<br \/><br \/>It&#39;s all been great. A fun roller-coaster ride.<br \/><br \/>I have a friend who&#39;s very proud of the fact that all his life he&#39;s lived within 3 miles of where he was born, in a suburb of Nottingham. I&#39;ve stayed there a few times. Nice enough place. I&#39;ve been to a few SF cons in Nottingham; I quite like it.<br \/><br \/>But that sounds like some medi&aelig;val hermit choosing to live on a platform on top of a pillar to me. Even the thought, the idea, fills me with dread. I&#39;m not a scouser or a Londoner or an Englishman. I happen to be British. Now I&#39;m Irish too. I happen to live in Bohemia and it lives up to the adjective. I like it here. I fancy living in Paris for a few years at some point, and maybe Berlin, and possibly Asia for a while, and maybe Latin America at some point -- I want to polish up my meagre tatty Spanish.<br \/><br \/>I don&#39;t and won&#39;t <i>belong<\/i> to any of them.<br \/><br \/>I suppose I feel that feeling that one belongs to somewhere, and believing that the place one belongs to is better than other places, is iniquitous. It seems fun, a harmless joke, but to me, it feels similar to &quot;harmless jokes&quot; about nig-nogs or chinks or nips. It&#39;s not meant as such but it smacks to me of deeper feelings that I regard as harmful and dangerous, although I must stress here I am <b>NOT<\/b> imputing such feelings to anyone here!<br \/><br \/>I just find the whole area, the whole notion, a bit distasteful. Most people seem to think it&#39;s fine, it&#39;s nothing.<br \/><br \/>Some of my closest friends here are a Romanian woman, a Dutch guy, a couple of American guys. One was a French man of Caribbean extraction, but he moved away. One of the Americans is married to a Czech woman, but he did that after he&#39;d been here a decade, it&#39;s almost incidental.<br \/><br \/>We all share this rootlessness. We don&#39;t dislike our homelands, but by the same token, none of us seek out the company of our countrymen over here. In fact we vaguely avoid it.<br \/><br \/>There&#39;s another sort of foreigner here. They are often people married to locals who they met soon after they arrived. They mostly have kids.They integrated a bit more into Czech society and they don&#39;t socialise with foreigners.<br \/><br \/>I think of &#39;em as rubber Czechs, har har. I don&#39;t quite get what they are doing or try to do either. I&#39;m not Czech, I&#39;ll never be Czech and I don&#39;t intend to try to be a fake Czech. I don&#39;t expect to live here the rest of my life. I have lots of Czech friends, I sometimes go to Czech events and so on -- I try not to be a resident tourist. But I&#39;m a foreigner, an immigrant worker, and I don&#39;t see any point in trying to hide that.<br \/><br \/>When I was a schoolkid in Southport, we did a day trip to a spinal-injuries hospital with a big childrens&#39; unit. I don&#39;t remember where. I briefly tried wheelchair football. It was terrifying. The wheelchair-using kids seemed suicidal: as if they were thinking &quot;I&#39;m already broken, it can&#39;t get any worse -- banzai!&quot;<br \/><br \/>I found it very interesting. I was too young to think &quot;ooh, everyone should spend time in a wheelchair.&quot;<br \/><br \/>But I did, for a while, in 1994. Not from choice, of course. After I binned my ZZR1100.<br \/><br \/>It <b>was<\/b> immensely educational. I briefly belonged to another section of society, and I learned some things that were surprising to me. I saw how another part lived and some bits weren&#39;t good and they weren&#39;t to do with the actual physical disability at all.<br \/><br \/>Everyone <i>should<\/i> do it.<br \/><br \/>Well now I sort of feel that everyone should live abroad for a while too. Somewhere far away and a bit culturally different. Somewhere they don&#39;t speak the language and somewhere there are not many of their countrypeople around them.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;m not saying it harms people <i>not<\/i> to do this. There&#39;s nothing wrong with my mate from Nottingham. But by the nonexistent gods, it&#39;s been good for me. I should have done it a decade earlier.<br \/><br \/>I reckon it&#39;d be good for everyone.<br \/><br \/>Loving where you&#39;re from is fine. Thinking it&#39;s better than anywhere else is not fine. By and large, so long as you&#39;re not in a warzone or a famine, nowhere is better than anywhere else. And very definitely no people from anywhere are any better as a group, or any worse as a group. There are good and bad people everywhere and in about the same mix, I suspect.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305928.html?view=comments#comments","category":["roots","englishness","england","home","internationality"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305775.html","pubDate":"Wed, 14 Mar 2018 17:00:20 GMT","title":"The late great Professor Stephen Hawking","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305775.html","description":"People are exchanging reminiscences online. I&#39;m afraid I only have one.<br \/><br \/>I had collossal respect for the man, his achievements, his astounding determination. Not only did he do a huge amount for physics, but also for perceptions of disabled people. He appeared in the Simpsons, the Big Bang Theory, a number of adverts, and via one of them, a Pink Floyd album. Pretty good showing, really.<br \/><br \/>For me, he put me in mind of Dr Dan Streetmentioner.<br \/><br \/>Dr Streetmentioner is of course the author of <i>The Time-Traveller&#39;s Handbook of 1001Tense Formations<\/i>, as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/quotes\/369785-one-of-the-major-problems-encountered-in-time-travel-is\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">documented<\/a> by the equally late great Douglas Adams.<br \/><blockquote>&laquo;<br \/>One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can&#39;t cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history&mdash;the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.<br \/><br \/>The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner&#39;s Time Traveler&#39;s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.<br \/><br \/>Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later aditions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.<br \/><br \/>The Hitchhiker&#39;s Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term &quot;Future Perfect&quot; has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.<br \/>&raquo;<\/blockquote>I have a vague feeling that one version of the guide said everything after page 75 was left blank.<br \/><br \/>By a staggering coincidence, that is exactly how far I got through <i>A Brief History of Time<\/i>... and from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.independent.co.uk\/arts-entertainment\/books\/news\/the-books-many-start-but-few-finish-top-unread-bestsellers-revealed-9590910.html\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">what I&#39;ve read<\/a>, I got further than most readers.<br \/><br \/>I think it was regarded as the least-actually-read bestseller in history until Piketty&#39;s <i>Capital<\/i><i>.<\/i><br \/><br \/>I guess I shouldn&#39;t feel so guilty, really.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305775.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305590.html","pubDate":"Sun, 04 Feb 2018 18:33:40 GMT","title":"My first conference talk in about 22 years","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305590.html","description":"For those who still read LJ but don&#39;t follow my techie blog, I did a talk at the FOSDEM conference in Brussels yesterday.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;ve just put the slides, notes and a selection of links on my other blog. It&#39;s here. Might be of vague interest.<br \/><br \/><a target='_blank' href='https:\/\/liam-on-linux.livejournal.com\/56835.html'>https:\/\/liam-on-linux.livejournal.com\/56835.html<\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305590.html?view=comments#comments"},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305226.html","pubDate":"Wed, 15 Nov 2017 12:29:38 GMT","title":"Musings on grammar, notably Czech grammar","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305226.html","description":"Quick. Without thinking. What&#39;s the difference between &quot;why is it not working?&quot; and &quot;why it is not working&quot;?<br \/><br \/>One&#39;s a question. One is a statement. But why? What&#39;s the difference?<br \/><br \/>English is a bastard. I.e. a mongrel. It&#39;s a mixture.<br \/><br \/>But its primary parents are 2 Teutonic languages -- old Norse and old German -- and a Romance language: Middle French.<br \/><br \/>All are Western Indoeuropean.<br \/><br \/>They form questions in similar ways.<br \/><br \/>Statement: You play chess. Pronoun (object) \/ verb \/ noun (subject).<br \/><br \/>To turn this into a question, invert object and verb: Play you chess?<br \/><br \/>English still does this, but it&#39;s complex, because we introduced auxiliary verbs.<br \/><br \/>We don&#39;t say &quot;play you chess?&quot; any more.<br \/><br \/>Real example: colleagues of my Norwegian ex, on Hemingway&#39;s bar in Nedre Slottsgatan in Oslo, asked me how to say in Norwegian, &quot;do you play chess?&quot; They wanted a word-for-word transliteration.<br \/><br \/>Note, these are 2 English guys who&#39;ve been there for some years at that point. Asking me, the newbie in town, trying to study Norwegian to speak to <span  class=\"ljuser  i-ljuser  i-ljuser-type-P     \"  data-ljuser=\"kjersti\" lj:user=\"kjersti\" ><a href=\"https:\/\/kjersti.livejournal.com\/profile\/\"  target=\"_self\"  class=\"i-ljuser-profile\" ><img  class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\"  src=\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/kjersti.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\"   target=\"_self\"   ><b>kjersti<\/b><\/a><a class=\"i-ljuser-badge i-ljuser-badge--pro\" data-badge-type=\"pro\" data-placement=\"bottom\" data-pro-badge data-pro-badge-type=\"1\" data-is-raw hidden href=\"#\"><span class=\"i-ljuser-badge__icon\"><svg class=\"svgicon\" width=\"25\" height=\"16\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 33 24\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M19.326 11.95c0 2.01 1.47 3.45 3.48 3.45 2.02 0 3.49-1.44 3.49-3.45 0-2.01-1.47-3.45-3.49-3.45-2.01 0-3.48 1.44-3.48 3.45Zm5.51 0c0 1.24-.8 2.19-2.03 2.19-1.23 0-2.02-.95-2.02-2.19 0-1.25.79-2.19 2.02-2.19s2.03.94 2.03 2.19ZM7.92 15.28H6.5V8.61h3.12c1.45 0 2.24.98 2.24 2.15 0 1.16-.8 2.15-2.24 2.15h-1.7v2.37Zm1.51-3.62c.56 0 .98-.35.98-.9 0-.56-.42-.9-.98-.9H7.92v1.8h1.51ZM18.3802 15.28h-1.63l-1.31-2.37h-1.04v2.37h-1.42V8.61h3.12c1.39 0 2.24.91 2.24 2.15 0 1.18-.74 1.81-1.46 1.98l1.5 2.54Zm-2.49-3.62c.57 0 1-.34 1-.9s-.43-.9-1-.9h-1.49v1.8h1.49Z\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\"\/><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M2 8c0-2.20914 1.79086-4 4-4h20.5c2.2091 0 4 1.79086 4 4v7.9c0 2.2091-1.7909 4-4 4H6c-2.20914 0-4-1.7909-4-4V8Zm4-2.5h20.5C27.8807 5.5 29 6.61929 29 8v7.9c0 1.3807-1.1193 2.5-2.5 2.5H6c-1.38071 0-2.5-1.1193-2.5-2.5V8c0-1.38071 1.11929-2.5 2.5-2.5Z\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/span>.<br \/><br \/>I had to say: you can&#39;t. Norwegian doesn&#39;t use auxiliary verbs like that. Translate &quot;do \/ you \/ play \/ chess&quot; literally into Norwegian, it becomes meaningless word soup.<br \/><br \/>You have to use the older, simpler, Teutonic pattern. Swap pronound and verb. &quot;Play you chess?&quot; &quot;Spille du sjakk?&quot;<br \/><br \/>We English natives get confused &#39;cos we are so used to using &quot;to do&quot; as an auxiliary. You can&#39;t just invert the question any more. We do something much more complicated. We split off the subject verb phrase:<br \/><br \/>[You] [play chess]<br \/><br \/>Now, set the verb phrase fragment aside. Make a question from just the pronoun by inserting a whole new verb:<br \/><br \/>&quot;Do you?&quot;<br \/><br \/>Now affix the verb phrase on the end:<br \/><br \/>&quot;Do you&quot; + &quot;play chess&quot;. Now it&#39;s a question.<br \/><br \/>But you can use a helper verb outside of question form:<br \/><br \/>You play chess. &larr; statement<br \/>Do you play chess? &larr; question<br \/>You do play chess. &larr; emphatic.<br \/><br \/>Czech, for instance, doesn&#39;t do this.<br \/><br \/>Hraje&scaron; &scaron;achy. &larr; statement: you play chess. Note, no pronoun; the conjugation of the bare verb &quot;hr&aacute;t&quot; means &quot;you play&quot;.<br \/>Hraje&scaron; &scaron;achy? &larr; question. No change in word order. Tone of voice is all that indicates a question. (This is fucking hard.)<br \/>Ty hraje&scaron; &scaron;achy. &larr; emphatic. The pronoun is back. <b>You<\/b> play chess.<br \/><br \/>Because we&#39;re so used to the auxiliary-verb thing in English, it obscures and blurs the basic structure. Other languages make it much simpler.<br \/><br \/>Japanese and Chinese are way easier (at my super-elementary level, anyway.) In Japanese, take a sentence, put the particle &quot;ka&quot; on the end, and it&#39;s a question. In Chinese, put &quot;ma&quot; on the end.<br \/><br \/>N\u01d0 xi&agrave; xi&agrave;ngq&iacute;. You play chess. Statement.<br \/>N\u01d0 xi&agrave; xi&agrave;ngq&iacute; ma? Do you play chess? (In the rest of Europe, &quot;play you chess?&quot;) Do you play chess?<br \/><br \/>My example at the top is the older, simpler form, but in direct questions, we don&#39;t use that, so we&#39;ve forgotten how it works.<br \/><br \/>It is broken. &larr; statement<br \/>Is it broken? &larr; question, simple inversion, no auxiliary verb: &quot;does it work?&quot;<br \/><br \/>Why, it is broken! &larr; exclamation, emphatic indicating surprise. Still a statement because in statement word order.<br \/>Why is it broken? &larr; question, but not &quot;does it work&quot;, instead &quot;it does not work, what is the reason?&quot;<br \/><br \/>Teaching English has taught me a ton about English and occasionally helps with learning others, currently notably Czech, which is an evil motherfscker of a language. Sorry, but it is. <i>Nobody<\/i> needs this much grammar. Except for Finns, but it gives them something to be miserable about and thus an excuse to drink. Kippis!<br \/><ul><br \/><li>4 genders: feminine (hra, game), neuter (sklo, glass), masculine animate (strom, tree), masculine inanimate (les, forest).<\/li><br \/><li>2 plurals: one for 2-4, a different one above 5. 1 beer, jedno pivo. 2 beers, dve pivna. 5 beers, p\u011bt piv.<\/li><br \/><li>7 cases. Indescribable in English. Know the difference between &quot;he&quot; and &quot;him&quot;? That&#39;s nominative versus accusative case. &quot;He called John.&quot; &quot;John called him.&quot; &quot;He&quot; is the object of the sentence, the thing <u>doing<\/u> the verb. &quot;Him&quot; is the subject of the sentence, the thing having something <u>done to it<\/u> <i>by<\/i> the verb.<\/li><br \/><\/ul><br \/>Czech has 7. All are different for all 4 genders, naturally. The high plural is formed from the genitive case, that of ownership. &quot;John&#39;s book&quot; is a sort of bodged-together genitive case.<br \/><br \/>As someone said wonderfully on FB: &quot;Czech goes... &#39;One dog. Two dogs. Three dogs. Four dogs. Five LOTS OF DOGS! Six LOTS OF DOGS!&#39;&quot;<br \/><br \/>Czech has nominative, accusative, dative, genitive (same as German so far), vocative (same as Latin so far), locative, instrumental. There might be ablative in there somewhere as well. I think. Or is that only Latin? I don&#39;t know.<br \/><br \/>Thing doing (subject), thing done to (object), thing given, thing possessed, thing being named, position of thing, thing something being done with. Ablative is Latin only -- I had to look it up -- for things in motion. Instead of that, Czech has 2 different future tenses -- for normal verbs and verbs of motion. Except for flying, because they hadn&#39;t invented flying yet when they made up the rules, so it doesn&#39;t take the future-tense-of-motion. But to make up for it, there are also special tenses for things done habitually (&quot;I used to go to the gym&quot;, &quot;John goes to the cinema every week&quot;.)<br \/><br \/>I am not doing very well in Czech.<br \/><br \/>My Czech friends tell me that I&#39;m over-thinking it and just need to go with it, let it flow. This makes me want to punch them. Sometimes I want to retort that if learning another language as an adult was that bloody easy, they&#39;d know when to use &quot;a&quot; or &quot;the&quot; or neither without thinking about it, but that&#39;s just mean and cruel and I try not to.<br \/><br \/>I thought about tagging this <a href='https:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/rsearch\/?tags=%23projectBrno'>#projectBrno<\/a> but I&#39;m not in Brno any more. I moved to Prague a couple of months ago. I probably should start the more alliterative <a href='https:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/rsearch\/?tags=%23projectPrague'>#projectPrague<\/a> but it&#39;s a bit late.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/305226.html?view=comments#comments","category":["tefl","czech","#projectprague","#projectbrno","grammar"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304955.html","pubDate":"Sat, 01 Apr 2017 13:48:45 GMT","title":"I'm meeeeellllltttttiiiiiinnnngggggg...","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304955.html","description":"There is a mysterious chilli pepper shortage affecting Brno.<br \/><br \/>I don&#39;t know why, but for the last few months, I&#39;ve not been able to buy fresh chillies anywhere. Tesco, Albert, Billa, Globus, Lidl, even My Food -- nowhere has anything but sweet peppers.<br \/><br \/>I&#39;ve been forced to use dried ones, and a mixture of whatever hot chilli sauces I can get, which did result in a <i>chile sin carne<\/i> which nearly melted my poor long-suffering flatmate.<br \/><br \/>So last week I visited a splendid little shop called <a href=\"https:\/\/woch.cz\/\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">World of Chilli<\/a> on Baker Street. (It&#39;s not actually called that, of course, but my Mac won&#39;t let me enter the correct diacritics and apparently I can&#39;t say it right anyway.) I&#39;ve bought a few packets of dried chillies, and this morning, my scrambled eggs contained tex-mex seasoning, fried onions, and two halves of a dried <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fatalii\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Fatalii chilli<\/a>.<br \/><br \/>This may have been a slight management error. My fingertips are tingling from when I shredded it, I absent-mindedly rubbed my nose which I think is now melting off me like a Dal&iacute; clock, and I am sweating and my eyes are watering. Mind you, virtually no trace of my slight hangover has survived this. I don&#39;t think there&#39;s enough blood left in my endorphin-stream.<br \/><br \/>This thing was a mere quarter of a million Scovilles. I have just planted half a dozen seeds of Trinidad Moruga Scorpion -- a bracing two million SHU.&nbsp; I am now slightly afraid of the results if these things grow and fruit...<br \/><br \/><br \/><lj-embed id=\"24\" \/>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304955.html?view=comments#comments","category":["chili","burning ring of fire","projectbrno"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304652.html","pubDate":"Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:00:31 GMT","title":"Two favourites from L Sprague de Camp for #WorldPoetryDay","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304652.html","description":"The wonderful <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/L._Sprague_de_Camp\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">L Sprague de Camp<\/a> was a great early figure not only of SF itself but also of its history and criticism. His 1978 collection <i>The Best of L. Sprague de Camp<\/i> contained two poems that I loved so much that I committed them to memory.<br \/><br \/><b>The Am&oelig;ba<\/b> (1973)<br \/><br \/>An am&oelig;ba, grown too portly,<br \/>Elongates itself and shortly<br \/>Parts itself into am&oelig;bae twain.<br \/>Now, this form of reproduction<br \/>Has its points, if your construction<br \/>Lets you split yourself without a pain.<br \/>It avoids the complications<br \/>That beset our copulations,<br \/>Which we try to regulate in vain.<br \/><br \/>Thus a piece of protoplasm<br \/>Undergoes bipartite spasm,<br \/>As it did in Eozoic clime;<br \/>Each am&oelig;ba, now existing,<br \/>Is a unit, yet persisting,<br \/>Which has flourished since the dawn of time.<br \/>In this neat and sober fashion,<br \/>Unbetrayed by human passion,<br \/>Multiplies this deathless bit of slime.<br \/><br \/>Still, there must be something missing<br \/>To a life that knows no kissing,<br \/>Nor the other games the sexes play.<br \/>Surely, Solomon and Sheba<br \/>Had more fun than that am&oelig;ba<br \/>E&#39;er will know forever and a day.<br \/>So I&#39;d rather love my lassie<br \/>Than to be a little, glassy,<br \/>Protoplasmic speck and live for ay.<br \/><br \/><b>Reward of Virtue<\/b> (1970)<br \/><br \/>Sir Gilbert de Vere was a virtuous knight;<br \/>He succoured the weak and he fought for the right<br \/>But he cherished a goal that he never could sight:<br \/>He wanted a dragon to fight.<br \/><br \/>He prayed all the night and he prayed all the day<br \/>That God would provide him a dragon to slay<br \/>And God heard his prayer and considered a way<br \/>To furnish Sir Gilbert his prey.<br \/><br \/>And so, to comply with Sir Gilbert&#39;s demand,<br \/>But having no genuine dragons to hand,<br \/>God whisked him away to an earlier land,<br \/>With destrier, armour, and brand.<br \/><br \/>And in the Cretaceous, Sir Gilbert de Vere<br \/>Discovered a fifty-foot carnosaur near.<br \/>He dug in his spurs and he leveled his spear,<br \/>And charged without flicker of fear.<br \/><br \/>The point struck a rib, and the lance broke in twain;<br \/>Sir Gilbert clasped a hand to his hilt, but in vain.<br \/>The dinosaur swallowed that valorous thane,<br \/>And gallant Sir Gilbert was slain.<br \/><br \/>The iron apparel he wore for his ride,<br \/>however, was rough on the reptile&#39;s inside.<br \/>That dinosaur presently lay down and died,<br \/>And honour was thus satisfied.<br \/><br \/>But Gilbert no longer was present to care;<br \/>So pester not God with your wishes. Beware!<br \/>What happens when Heaven has answered your prayer,<br \/>Is your, and no other&#39;s, affair!<br \/><a name='cutid1-end'><\/a>","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304652.html?view=comments#comments","category":["poetry","verse","de camp","worldpoetryday"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304552.html","pubDate":"Tue, 10 Jan 2017 23:12:33 GMT","title":"On ice-skiing and feeling rather lost & disoriented (#projectBrno blog post)","author":"lproven","link":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304552.html","description":"This weekend just gone brought another of the now quite familiar &ldquo;I am VERY far from home&rdquo; moments. Back in February, a student in a suburb to the north of the city cancelled her lesson when I was already on the tram there. I decided to stay on and take a stroll by the lake, or rather, reservoir. It was a ghost-, erm, reservoir, mostly deserted, the pubs closed and shuttered. To my surprise, the water had partly frozen over &ndash; there was a metre-wide lead of open water between the shore and a large floating ice-mass. I didn&rsquo;t realise it had been that cold; the ponds outside work only occasionally froze over last winter.<br \/><br \/>This winter has been considerably colder. Last weekend, it was floating around -9&ordm; to -6&ordm;, dipping down to -13&ordm; at night. I don&rsquo;t think temperatures have got as high as zero yet this year, and it&rsquo;s snowed several times. There was a white Christmas in Brno &ndash; when I was in the Isle of Man, naturally &ndash; and that&rsquo;s the first in several years.<br \/><br \/>But last week there were several days of bitter cold &ndash; down to well under 10&ordm; below &ndash; and it snowed twice. Friends told me that they were going up to the dam to skate. This hadn&rsquo;t occurred to me, but there is an official test and the ice thickness is over 15cm &ndash; 19cm in places &ndash; and it was officially declared safe to use. Apparently, this is fairly normal.<br \/><br \/>&ldquo;I wish I could skate, but I can&rsquo;t,&rdquo; I protested.<br \/>&ldquo;Then go ski on it. You&rsquo;ve told us you do cross-country skiing.&rdquo;<br \/>&ldquo;But&hellip; you can&rsquo;t ski on ice.&rdquo;<br \/>&ldquo;Liam.&rdquo; I got one of those occasional Central European pitying looks, as given to particularly dense Brits. (At least, I fervently hope other Brits and travellers from distant lands get them.) &ldquo;It has been <i>snowing<\/i>. The <i>ice<\/i> is covered in <i>snow<\/i>.&rdquo;<br \/><br \/>This quite simply had not occurred to me. I mean, I&rsquo;ve seen what happens when snow falls on ponds, lakes, rivers, the sea and whatnot. It melts straight in. One feels that one knows what lakes do. Everywhere has lakes, right. Even deserts have oases.<br \/><br \/>But not if the lake has completely frozen over and the ice is thick enough to walk on, no. The normal rules no longer apply.<br \/><br \/>So on Saturday, I went up for a look. My local number three tram goes straight there. It was bitterly cold &ndash; about -8&ordm; -- but a big crowd surged off the tram, from grannies to families. (Not just lean wiry winter athletes being the general impression I&rsquo;m trying to convey here.) As I trudged through the snow down the approach road to the water, the view in the distance gave me a feeling of alienation. Instead of a small dark triangle of water, it was gleaming white, brighter than the louring grey sky.<br \/><br \/>And it was covered in people. Tiny dark figures. Moving. Sporting. It&rsquo;s the only word. Disporting themselves on the ice. It was straight out of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder#\/media\/File:Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_-_Hunters_in_the_Snow_(Winter)_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">that Pieter Breughel painting<\/a>. You know the one.<br \/><br \/>I walked around the shore a bit, marvelling. There were a thousand-odd people out on the ice. Skating &ndash; I didn&rsquo;t know you could skate through snow, but it was becoming rapidly apparent that I didn&rsquo;t know much at all about situations like this. Skiing. Parents towing kids on sledges.<br \/><br \/>I walked down the shore and out onto the ice, where I met a friend of mine, Gabriel.<br \/><br \/>(Disconcertingly, Czechs pronounce the male version of this name pretty much as &ldquo;Gabrielle&rdquo; but I just call him Gabe.)<br \/><br \/>He and his friends had cleared an area and made a berm and were energetically building up some speed on their skates then throwing themselves into the berm, for no readily apparent reason. Gabe does parkour. Traceurs seem to throw themselves at the scenery for the sheer fun of it. We chatted. I tried to convey how strange and disorienting this was for me. Entire substantial lakes don&rsquo;t just turn solid in my experience, in much the same way that houses don&rsquo;t walk around and mountains don&rsquo;t take to the wing and migrate. I mean, yes, African childhood and all that, but this business of the ground being solid water and brighter than the sky. I&rsquo;m not sure I got this across.<br \/><br \/>I walked on, marvelling. I was walking &ndash; very carefully and a little gingerly &ndash; on a lake! Standing over tens of meters of dark icy water without the aid of either a boat or divine intervention. Me and a fair proportion of the city. Sections of snow had been cleared, circuits for speed skating, mini rinks for ice hockey, a particular national passion round here.<br \/><br \/>Here I was, in my fiftieth year, walking on a frozen lake for the first time. I have of course long been aware that lakes do this in extreme latitudes &ndash; Siberia, northern Canada and Alaska and so on. I was completely unaware that for three winters I&rsquo;ve been living in a place where this is normal, expected behaviour.<br \/><br \/>When the lake ice is thick enough, it becomes a major amenity again. There were hordes of locals. I saw parents pushing prams. Tiny tots on skates or skis. Oldsters walking with sticks. Lots of ice hockey. There was even a maniac cycling across the lake. (I am told there&rsquo;s a warning in place that it&rsquo;s not thick enough to drive on. Well, that&rsquo;s reassuring.)<br \/><br \/>I walked for an hour, until it dusk was progressing a little far for comfort and the temperature started to feel like it might slip into the wrong kind of double digits.<br \/><br \/>My determination now reinforced, I stomped up to the tram stop and headed for the place where my stuff from London is stored. I made a concerted, hour-and-a-half effort to find my cross-country ski boots. I&rsquo;ve had the skis here for two years, but they&rsquo;re useless without the special boots whose toes clip onto the skis. I&rsquo;ve looked for the boots repeatedly, both when the boxes were in London and now here, with no joy.<br \/><br \/>I found them in a box labelled &ldquo;BOOTS&rdquo;, which it must be said was not conspicuous compared to the hundred-odd other boxes, most of which are labelled &ldquo;BOOKS&rdquo;. But I had them.<br \/><br \/>I emerged triumphant if dust-covered, and adjourned to the pub for a friend&rsquo;s leaving do. (Goodbye, Zuszka!) And then another pub. But, remarkably, I was the first to leave the survivors&rsquo; party, so determined was I to ski.<br \/><br \/>On Sunday I was a tad hungover, but a breakfast of warmed-up leftover curry, half a litre of coffee and a litre of tea soon fixed that. Leaving the hour-long process of getting togged up for outdoors sporting activity when it&rsquo;s about -6&ordm; and you haven&rsquo;t done it for about 3 years.<br \/><br \/>Ungainly, all right, <i>even more ungainly than usual<\/i> in my ski boots, I stomped down to the tram stop, as ever feeling rather conspicuous carrying a pair of nearly-two-metre-long skis and poles. But on the tram was another person with a pair of, well, slightly newer but otherwise very similar skis.<br \/><br \/>We debarked at the stop for the docks and I hesitantly stomped down to the waterside. There&rsquo;s no intentional access provided &ndash; you have to climb over a barrier, which I didn&rsquo;t fancy, so I walked around the lake again, noting the many people carrying skis. Most of them septuagenarian, by the looks of them, which did make me feel a tad less athletic.<br \/><br \/>I found a sloping section of shore, picked my way down very carefully &ndash; there are logs and over flotsam under the snow &ndash; and walked out onto the ice. Not that you can see any ice, of course. The snow just slopes down to the lake and then flattens out. You can&rsquo;t tell where the land ends and the ice begins. I clipped into the skis and nervously set out.<br \/><br \/>It&rsquo;s not unlike skiing on land, but it&rsquo;s not the same. The skis move laterally much more easily, and your poles won&rsquo;t bite in. There was 4-5cm or more of snow, after a new fall overnight, but while it&rsquo;s enough to anchor the poles, they won&rsquo;t take much pressure. But I was underway, nervously, very carefully, but gathering speed. It works much the same, but you can be pleasantly secure that you&rsquo;re not going to unexpectedly find yourself on a downhill bit &ndash; which unfailingly means I fall immediately and heavily on my arse.<br \/><br \/>As I got a bit more confident and the movements came back to me &ndash; and as I saw more and more other skiers, making me feel less awkward &ndash; I left the main bulk of the crowd, very loosely clustered around the pubs and bars at the end of the lake near the dam, and headed upstream, where the lake gradually narrows. I kept it going for about an hour, occasionally stopping for a sip of water &ndash; I was working hard &ndash; and to remove a layer of insulation, until a concealed, formerly-floating log knocked me down, a couple of kilometres along the lake. I went for a sit down to catch my breath, which fairly soon reminded me that it was still well below freezing point.<br \/><br \/>So I set off back. Now, I had a bit more speed, but a lot less strength left. This was my first go since the last heavy snowfall in London, and I don&rsquo;t recall when that was. My normal venue was Wimbledon Common. Zooming &ndash; OK, <i>OK<\/i>, moving at slightly more than a brisk walking pace &ndash; across the ice of a central European lake, forested hills on all sides, clear clean ice-cold air in my lungs. All very invigorating, but not actually invigorating enough to overcome my growing fatigue. I had gone a bit too far for a first go, and now I had another two plus kilometres to go to get back. It was an effort, but I made it, albeit tired enough that when I got to the end, I didn&rsquo;t recognise where I was &ndash; it&rsquo;s an unfamiliar view, after all; I&rsquo;ve only crossed the lake by boat once &ndash; and had to stop and consult Google Maps. I then realised that I was back. I tried to ski across the last few dozen metres to the shore, but so many people had walked around this part, the snow was a thin crust of churned slush, liberally mixed with Czech industrial-grade anti-slip compounds from their boots. I unclipped, walked back &ndash; now very much more confident than before &ndash; and went to the pub for a restorative hot chocolate and a mulled wine.<br \/><br \/>So a day after walking on my first frozen lake, I felt rather that I&rsquo;d conquered it. My skills on XC skis are very poor, but it&rsquo;s probably the most confident I feel on snow. Sadly, this week&rsquo;s weather has been extreme by the standards of recent winters, so I probably won&rsquo;t get many more opportunities to do this. If there&rsquo;s more snow, which is still fairly likely, it&rsquo;ll be back to snowboarding in the local park. But a remarkable experience all the same.<br \/><br \/><hr \/><br \/>As the temperature&rsquo;s gone up to a relatively balmy -5&ordm; or so, between other errands, today I dropped by the business park where my old office is located, hoping to feed the ducks. Except that the duck-ponds have frozen solid, and the ducks have decamped to the river Svratka nearby, so I stood on the bridge and threw the bread down at them. They soon noticed and gathered -- but so, unexpectedly, did some seagulls. I rather miss seagulls here, 1000km from the sea. But these weren&#39;t Britain&#39;s typical burly herring gulls or black-backed gulls, but some far smaller and more slender, mostly white birds with pale grey wings and flecks of grey in their plumage. Perhaps some kind of tern, I don&rsquo;t know.<br \/><br \/>It was chilly work standing there tearing up M&amp;S naan bread and throwing it down, and it was so cold, I was worried it might freeze as solid as a rock on the way and concuss passing waterfowl.<br \/><br \/>But then, I always like to leave no tern unstoned.","comments":"https:\/\/lproven.livejournal.com\/304552.html?view=comments#comments"}]}}