( This is rather long and rambly but it is not yet noon and today has been so eventful and telling of what kind of person I am that I actually am updating my LJ; I pretty much NEVER do that so maybe please read it? <3 Comment? *attention whores*Collapse )

tl;dr lol at the writers of my shoujo manga-y life



For the sake of stimulating discussion (though at the risk of sounding like an lj-meme), what does your morning routine say about you?

There's this reaaaally cute Japanese like... j-punk goth dressing girl in my Edo Culture class, and we've been getting friendly talking about Otome games.  I was hoping maaaaybe she might be one of those bisexual or gay yaoi fangirls.  Waaaugh I saw her computer's desktop today; there was a photo of a guy.  I asked her about it and... as I guessed, it's her boyfriend~ ._.

I haven't been attracted to someone in so long too. lol Oh well~

Well, I'm coming back to the Bay Area this evening.  Wedding was, but augh spending so much time with so many people I don't really like.  Weddings.  At least I can get out of the state before anyone finds the bodies got through the week without killing any one.  My favorite thing about New Orleans is, no surprise, the jazz clubs.  God, Preservation Hall is so cool.

It's this run down, almost literal hole where the slate rock is falling off the concrete walls, the benches are uncomfortable, there's mostly crowded standing room only, and there's no bar, restroom or air conditioning, and yet the line to get in goes down the block.  That's how good the music is.

Hey guys if I ran a 4th edition D&D game online with an online client like... maptools or gametable, would you participate?  I could get you PDFs and help you build characters, and would help you learn the system if you don't know it~ It's a fairly intuitive edition~

Well I'm better than yesterday by some degree.  More irritable and less depressed.  My mother needs to stop mentioning things I'm having problems with to other people.  Especially my sister.  She's so damn judgmental.

EKG says my heart's fine, with the exception of just plain beating fast, but that was probably just from all this anxiety.  I'm having some lab work done, but it seems probable I have some tiny tears in my pectoral from one of my coughing fits.

As much as most of me wants to go on this trip, some part of me would have been vaguely relieved if my doctor told me not to take this flight.

I think it's just a bit of a muscle pull, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow about some very minor chest pains I've been having for about a week now.  Even so, I'm incredibly anxious about the whole thing.

It scares me.

That anxiety and fear is kind of doing a crazy number on my emotional state.  I haven't feel so insecure and depressed in a long while...



In other news, my mother and I have a flight Wednesday morning to New Orleans for my sister's wedding.  It'll be a busy trip, but I hope I'll be able to make it a jazz club or two.

Dear youknowwhoyouare,

You are truly the love of my life. Never have I met nor will I ever meet someone who I love as much as you.  You're witty, intelligent, attractive, share all of my hobbies, have spectacular taste in music... Sure, you blather on a lot since you're incredibly self absorbed, but circumstances equate to that being forever in my benefit.  No one could ever be as understanding of me as you are.  I truly am glad that you are so supportive of me and that you will never leave me.

You really have no idea how grateful I am that you were not someone else.  Oh, sure, you have flaws, and I won't lie, there are things I would change about you if I could, but it doesn't matter that much.  Just as you've accepted my short comings, I've accepted yours.

I look forward to the life we will lead together forever, though maybe not so much the growing old part.  I'll deal with it, but I'd really much rather have eternal youth, I think.

So chin up, and have a happy Valentines Day tomorrow, Li-Chi Maerylyn Young.

Love, Li-Chi Maerylyn Young

On a less directly depressing note, I find it amusing that nearly all cultures of the world and in history, many entirely on their own, found some way of producing alcohol.  Vodka from potatoes, rum as a part of sugar production, whiskey from rye, sake from rice, wine from grapes, beer from barley...

I propose that it is an interesting statement on the human condition that essentially all the people of the worlds, by hell or high water, have developed alcohol, out of some kind of need or desire.

... I need to edit this entry for voice and post it to SRWUG as Alex.

San Francisco Chronicle front page today?

City College of San Francisco cancels summer classes due to budget cuts.

Sad.


To get on a bit of a soapbox, budget cuts are at least partially because people who lose homes don't pay property taxes and a general lack of employment.

We're in a depression. Has anyone remembered how we got out? Public work projects were a large part of it. Whether or not the budget is bleeding all over the place, jobs have to be made or we're probably just going to spiral down.

Ugh.

( Now for class related personal troublesCollapse )

You know, studying history, I have to wonder what it is psychologically that allowed so many people in history to, upon 'discovering' another country met life there that was quite clearly humans, even if they had different features, languages, ways of life and skin colors, and so easily dehumanize them.

Is it just Darwinism? That it came out because it's advantageous to ally yourself with your group and exploit others?

I'm not sure, I but I wonder if it might be.

More importantly, I'm curious, what do you think?

Oh my god, you guys, my Advanced Japanese teacher's power point presentation for the class orientation had an motivational poster of Courage Wolf in it.