a one-pager for NPCs

There are many one-page thingies to print off for generating NPCs; this one (pdf) is mine. Most of the content pilfered and lightly edited from there. 

The d66 charts are grouped by theme, so you can roll 1d6 if you're looking for something that fits a broad stereotype, or traits that have that kind of consanance with each other, and the traditional d66 if you don't. The "probable progressions" represent some possibilities for how a problem might develop in the absence of PC intervention. "Manners and motions" is taken from Laban efforts. The Durer is nominally a gender table, but the real purpose is just an image to make it clear which page this is as I flip through my GM's notebook.

Editable version here, if you wish to tailor to your own uses.

the Ersatz King

Another quotepost. 

By 1863 bce, King Sumu-El of Larsa had been dead for three years. Larsa was rising in power and importance under his successor. King Sumu-la-El of Babylon was in his seventeenth year and busily expanding the borders of his own kingdom. Meanwhile, previously dominant Isin faced one defeat after another. And then something remarkable happened there. Or rather, it may have happened. We only know about this episode from a much later chronicle, but the names are right, so perhaps it really took place.

It seems that an eclipse of the moon occurred, terrifying everyone who witnessed it. The Mesopotamians had no way to know that the eclipse happened because the Earth passed between the moon and the sun and cast its shadow across the moon. To Mesopotamian eyes, the bright, reassuring face of the moon gradually seemed to be swallowed up by darkness and was replaced by a round red shadow in the sky. Diviners believed that it signaled the death of the king.

Erra-imitti acted in his own self-interest, and he may have been the first king to come up with a solution to the threat of his imminent death. At any rate, he’s the first one that we know of to do this (there were others who followed his lead in later centuries). According to the later chronicle, “Erra-imitti, the king, installed Enlil-bani, the gardener, as a substitute king on his throne. He placed the royal diadem on his head.”52 The plan was that this gardener, Enlil-bani, would serve as king in place of Erra-imitti—living in the court, being served by attendants—and that the gods could go right ahead and carry out their threat to kill the king, but they would choose the gardener-king instead of the real king, Erra-imitti. Just in case the gods failed to follow their cue, the real king would have the substitute king killed, after which Erra-imitti would retake the throne, the prophecy having been properly fulfilled. This, at least, is what happened in later centuries when a substitute king was installed in order to fulfill, and outwit, a prophecy of death to the king.

But the gods seem to have been wiser than Erra-imitti anticipated. Instead, “Erra-imitti [died] in his palace when he sipped a hot broth. Enlil-bani, who occupied the throne, did not give it up (and) so was sovereign.”53 Fact or fable? It seems like a fairy tale, and yet it may well have happened. There is no record from the time of this remarkable occurrence, only ones that were written much later. But then, not many royal records survive from this period; it might simply be lost. Enlil-bani is unlikely to have bragged in a royal inscription about this odd way of coming to power. Being a gardener was not a normal preparation for the throne, after all.

So perhaps the real king did die, as the gods had foretold with the lunar eclipse. One can imagine Erra-imitti sipping his hot broth and then suddenly falling to the ground. Did he choke to death, or have a heart attack, or was he perhaps even poisoned? At this point the gardener, Enlil-bani, who had been placed on the throne simply as a convenience in order to spare the king, could have justifiably argued that the gods had wanted him to rule. What were the chances? There he was, ready to give up his life for the gods and the kingdom, and suddenly it was clear that he was the gods’ choice, after all. They had seen through Erra-imitti’s ruse and killed him anyway.

In the end, Enlil-bani (1860–1837 bce) left far more evidence of his reign than did the ill-fated Erra-imitti. He commissioned an inscription to be impressed onto the bricks of a building that he constructed in Isin. It began, “Enlil-bani, shepherd who makes everything abundant for Nippur, farmer (who grows) tall grain for Ur,”54 which sounds like a slight nod to his humble agricultural beginnings. But he also claimed religious powers. He “purifies the mes (cosmic truths) of (the city of) Eridu,” and was the “favorite en-priest of Uruk.” At this point he came to his titles: “king of Isin, king of the land of Sumer and Akkad,” the latter being the title given to the kings who claimed to control all of Mesopotamia. He was their rightful successor. Note that, unlike most kings, he didn’t name his father. Why would he? His father had not been royal. Instead he emphasized that he was the “spouse chosen by the heart of the goddess Inana.” And, like Erra-imitti and the other kings of Isin before him, Enlil-bani added the divine symbol in front of his name. Notwithstanding his humble start in life, he asserted that he was himself a god, an appropriate husband for the goddess Inana.

No commentary because this - from Amanda Podany's lovely Weavers, Scribes, and Kings - stands as gamefuel on its own.

the damnation song (OSR-style challenge)

There is a certain ritual which a particular religious order insists must be performed continuously, generation upon generation unto infinity. For it to be interrupted for even a second would be a kind of disaster, albeit one which insists must be corrected as quickly as possible, not the kind that ends the world.

For present purposes, the details of the ritual itself aren't important, although for gameability it might do well for the ritual's continually evolving needs to require either something horrible or difficult to acquire. Inquiring PCs might first note that the religious order is cagey about what goes on and why, and further furtive inquiries show devil masks and other stereotypical Evil Cult Aesthetics.

The ritual is connected to a hell realm. What it does it keep the hell realm lulled into stasis. When the ritual - which is a sort of mock continuation of the realm - pauses, the tortures of the hell resume. When the ritual resumes, time in the hell realm pauses. There are at least several thousand beings ready to get tortured in there.

You get sent to the hell realm when you die, if and only if you know about it and the purpose of the ritual, and you pass on that knowledge to anybody else.

some (imperfect) resources for smell description

Smells! They play a distinctly tertiary role compared to sight and sound, so central to the mechanically reproducible media of our age. When you bring smell into your description at the table, you really bring an oomph that stirs players out of their cinematic slumber. But precisely because it's less available, it's also harder to get the tools to describe it. Even if I've never seen a dragon, I've seen a million videos of tigers and falcons, but I have a terrible sense of smell and it's been years since I owned a reptile, so that aspect might be a bit harder to do off the cuff.

What I really want is a, like, smell encyclopedia - a big scratch n sniff book where if you want to know what, say, camphor or dillweed smell like, you can just look it up and inhale. I can't find such a thing (if anyone knows, you have my eternal thanks.) But the closest I can find is the Odeuropa smell explorer

It's just on the edge of useability - you'll find stuff that should be gameable, like an alchemist's lab, and there will be firsthand accounts - but it's hard to navigate and the accounts are often not as useful as they could be - describing things simply as good, bad, suprising, or the like isn't uncommon, or everything will be in Italian, or whatever, and yeah automatic translation is a thing but that's another set of clicks... why am I sharing this bad resource with you? Because it's so close to being so good; my way of interfacing with it must just be off a bit. One of you, I am sure, it will click just right for.

This article claims to have found ten basic smells (analogous to the sweet-savory-salty-sour-bitter division), I don't know the math to critique their math and I'm guessing their report data is biased towards a WEIRD sample that is used to e.g. lemony scents being used in cleaning products. But it's the same biased sample that I and the people I'm likely to game with are drawn from, so it's potentially useful for gameable description - this list will probably end up on my GM's screen at some point:

  1. floral, perfumey
  2. woody, musty
  3. fruity (but not in a citrusy way)
  4. rotten
  5. chemical, alcoholic
  6. minty
  7. sweet
  8. nutty, smoky, popcorn
  9. chemical, onion, gas, decay
  10. citrusy

I'm never going to remember a list of ten things, so here's them in even more arbitrary categories:

  • fragrant
    1. floral, perfumey (factor I)
    2. fruity (factor III)
    3. minty (factor VI)
    4. citrusy (factor X)
       
  • tasty
    1. woody, musty (factor II)
    2. sweet (factor VII)
    3. fireplace (factor VIII)
       
  • gross
    1. rotten (factor IV)
    2. ethery (factor V)
    3. gas leak (factor IX)

 

Magritte, self-portrait


the Dead Christ Proclaims that there Is No God

Not directly RPG related, but here's a great little bit that I discovered from this interview about the history of nihilism. The wrapping device is "dear reader, I apologize for writing something so blasphemous... whew well thank heavens that isn't true at all." I guess that's the sort of groveling you have to do back then if you write something with as metal a title as the Dead Christ Proclaims that There Is No God:

The rattle of the wheels of the clock running down as it was striking eleven, had awakened me. I looked for the sun in the dark and void night sky, for I supposed that some eclipse was hiding it with the moon. And all the graves were open, and the iron doors of the charnel-house kept opening and shutting, moved by invisible hands. Athwart the walls shadows went flitting; but no bodies cast those shadows and there were others, too, moving about out in the open air. Within the open coffins there were none now asleep, except the children. Nothing was in the sky but sultry fog, heavy and grey, ranging there in great clammy folds; and some gigantic shadow closed and closed this fog as in a net, and drew it ever nearer, closer, and hotter. Up overhead I heard the thunder of distant avalanches, and beneath my feet the first footfalls of a boundless earthquake. The church was heaved and shaken to and fro by two terrific discords striving in it, beating in stormy effort to attain harmonious resolution. Now and then a greyish glimmer passed with rapid gleam flittering athwart the windows; but, whenever this glimmer came, the lead and iron of the frames always melted and ran rolling down. The fog’s net, and the quaking of the earth, drove me into the temple, past gleaming, glittering basilisks, brooding in poison-nests beside the door. I passed among shadows, strange and unknown to me; but they all bore the impress of the centuries. These shadows stood all grouped about the altar, and their breasts quivered and throbbed—their breasts but not their hearts. There was but one of the dead still lying on his pillow, and he was one who had but just been buried in the church; he lay at peace, his breast without a throb, a happy dream upon his smiling face. But now, as I came in (I, one of the living), his sleep broke, he awoke, and smiled no more; with painful effort he raised his heavy eyelids—and there was no eye beneath—and in his beating breast there was no heart, but a deep wound instead. He raised his hands, folded as it for prayer; but then his arms shot out and came apart from his poor trunk, the folded hands came off and fell away. Upon the dome above there was inscribed the dial of eternity—but figures there were none, and the dial itself was its own gnomon; a great black finger was pointing at it, and the dead strove hard to read the time upon it.

And at this point a lofty, noble form, bearing the impress of eternal sorrow, came sinking down towards our group, and rested on the altar; whereupon all the dead cried out, “Christ! Is there no God?”

He answered, “There is none.”

At this the dead quivered and trembled; but now it was not their breasts alone that throbbed; the quivering ran all through the shadows, so that one by one the shudder shook them into nothingness. And Christ spake on, saying, “I have traversed the worlds, I have risen to the suns, with the milky ways I have passed athwart the great waste spaces of the sky; there is no God. And I descended to where the very shadow cast by Being dies out and ends, and I gazed out into the gulf beyond, and cried, ‘Father, where art Thou?’ But answer came there none, save the eternal storm which rages on, controlled by none; and towards the west, above the chasm, a gleaming rainbow hung, but there was no sun to give it birth, and so it sank and fell by drops into the gulf. And when I looked up to the boundless universe for the Divine eye, behold, it glared at me from out a socket, empty and bottomless. Over the face of chaos brooded Eternity, chewing it for ever, again and yet again. Shriek on, then, discords, shatter the shadows with your shrieking din, for He is not!”

The pale and colourless shades flickered away to nothingness, as frosty fog dissolves before warm breath, and all grew void. Ah! then the dead children, who had been asleep out in the graves, awoke, and came into the temple, and fell down before the noble form (a sight to rend one’s heart), and cried, “Jesus, have we no Father?” He made answer, with streaming tears, “We are orphans all, both I and ye. We have no Father.”

Then the discords clashed and clanged more harshly yet; the shivering walls of the temple parted asunder, and the temple and the children sank—the earth and sun sank with them—and the boundless fabric of the universe sank down before us, while high on the summit of immeasurable nature Jesus stood and gazed upon the sinking universe, besprent with thousand suns, and like a mine dug in the face of black eternal night; the suns being miners’ lamps, and the milky way the veins of silvery ore.

And as he gazed upon the grinding mass of worlds, the wild torch dance of starry will-o’-the-wisps, and all the coral banks of throbbing hearts—and saw how world by world shook forth its glimmering souls on to the Ocean of Death—then He, sublime, loftiest of finite beings, raised his eyes towards the nothingness and boundless void, saying, “Oh dead, dumb, nothingness! necessity endless and chill! Oh! mad unreasoning Chance—when will ye dash this fabric into atoms, and me too? Chance, knowest thou—thou knowest not—when thou dost march, hurricane-winged, amid the whirling snow of stars, extinguishing sun after sun upon thy onward way, and when the sparkling dew of constellations ceases to gleam, as thou dost pass them by? How every soul in this great corpse-trench of an universe is utterly alone? I am alone—none by me—O Father, Father! where is that boundless breast of thine, that I may rest upon it? Alas! if every soul be its own father and creator, why shall it not be its own destroying angel too? Is this a man still near me? Wretched being! That petty life of thine is but the sigh of nature, or the echo of that sigh. Your wavering cloudy forms are but reflections of rays cast by a concave mirror upon the clouds of dust which shroud your world—dust which is dead men’s ashes. Look ye down into the chasm athwart the face of which the ash-clouds float and fly. A mist of worlds rises up from the Ocean of Death; the future is a gathering cloud, the present a falling vapour. Dost thou see and know thy earth?”

Here Christ looked downward, and his eyes grew full of tears, and he spake on, and said, “Alas! I, too, was once of that poor earth; then I was happy, then I still possessed my infinite Father, and I could look up from the hills with joy to the boundless heaven, and I could cry even in the bitterness of death, ‘My Father, take thy Son from out this bleeding earthly shell, and lift Him to thy heart.’ Alas! too happy dwellers upon earth, ye still believe in Him. Your sun, it may be, is setting at this hour, and amid flowers and brilliance, and with tears ye sink upon your knees, and, lifting up your hands in rapturous joy, ye cry each one aloud up to the open heavens, ‘Oh Father, infinite, eternal, hear! Thou knowest me in all my littleness, even as Thou knowest all things, and Thou seest my wounds and sorrows, and Thou wilt receive me after death and soothe and heal them all.’ Alas! unhappy souls! For after death these wounds will not be healed. But when the sad and weary lays down his worn and wounded frame upon the earth to sleep towards a fairer brighter morn all truth, goodness and joy,—behold! he awakes amid a howling chaos, in a night endless and everlasting; and no morning dawns, there is no healing hand, no everlasting Father. Oh, mortal, who standest near, if still thou breathest the breath of life, worship and pray to Him, or else thou losest Him for evermore.”

And I fell down and peered into the shining mass of worlds, and beheld the coils of the great serpent of eternity all twined about those worlds; these mighty coils began to writhe and rise, and then again they tightened and contracted, folding round the universe twice as closely as before; they wound about all nature in thousandfolds, and crashed the worlds together, and crushed down the boundless temple to a little churchyard chapel. And all grew narrow, and dark, and terrible. And then a great immeasurable bell began to swing in act to toll the last hour of Time, and shatter the fabric of the universe to countless atoms,

So, tl;dr, Christ comes back to Earth, says God is dead, everyone loses their fucking minds, Christ looks out on the cosmos knowing it will die in nothing, the end (or at least the end of the interesting parts).

One, boring genealogical questions: was Richter an influence on Lovecraft? Was he the first to play with some of these tropes?

Two: this is just so great! It's a set of motifs you normally just don't see together that work so well with their incongruity: it's judgment day, the final trumpet is sung, the dead crowd into church with their spectral bodies overlapping and their rotting faces sliding off of their skulls, and Christ comes down from Heaven to state the fundamental truth of the universe, which is that nothing matters and we should all die in horror. 

Three: I think that there's something actually kind of accurate about this incongruity. Two pretty typical models you might have are Jesus vs Satan, or 1 vs. -1, or perfect good vs. perfect evil, on one hand, and on the other 0, Cthulhu, nihilism.

0 vs. 1 is more accurate, more true to real struggle. Per Kant, morality arises from the structure of rationality and agency, but per modern science rationality and agency are the result of atoms smashing into each other from a universe blindly following completely arbitrary and amoral laws. My intuition from hearing a lot people talk about their moral experiences is that basically all of us, regardless of our metaphysics, feel this pull between very high moral aspirations and that everything is completely meaningless and pointless. Active malevolence is by contrast pretty rare and mostly a projection. I wouldn't agree with Augustine that all disvalue is the absence of something good - pointless involuntary pain, the most obvious case of disvalue, isn't the absence of something else - but the Devil, I think, is less real than Yog-Sothoth is.