Behold! From Entertainment Weekly about Pixar's Brave:

But could Merida be gay? Absolutely. She bristles at the traditional gender roles that she’s expected to play: the demure daughter, the obedient fiancée. Her love of unprincess-like hobbies, including archery and rock-climbing, is sure to strike a chord with gay viewers who felt similarly “not like the other kids” growing up. And she hates the prospect of marriage — at least, to any of the three oafish clansmen that compete for her hand — enough to run away from home and put her own mother’s life at risk. She’s certainly not a swooning, boy-crazy Disney princess like The Little Mermaid’s Ariel or Snow White. In fact, Merida may be the first in that group to be completely romantically disinclined (even cross-dressing Mulan had a soft spot for Li Shang).

Where. Do you start. I don't even.

Lesbian characteristics according to author: Archery. Rock climbing. Hating the prospect of marriage. Being romantically disinclined.

Straight characteristics, according to author: Being demure. Being obedient. Swooning. Being boy-crazy. Having a soft spot for a man while you're cross-dressing.

One has to wonder how violently the author might react to a lesbian who swoons or a straight woman with a bow. He might have fits, or start eating dirt or something. At any rate, he ought to see somebody about having that stupid removed, or having his head surgically removed from his arse. Whichever is the least invasive procedure.