I have a tendency to get down on myself for not living my life the way I think I should be living it. For not having some half-naked, airbrushed adventure worthy of a fashion campaign.

But then I look at where I live, where my life has taken me thus far. I think about the fact that I'm going to an actual ball this weekend, and I feel kind of stupid.

I'm not sure I have the right to be dissatisfied.

This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.

Whom can I ask
what I meant to achieve in this world?

Why do I move without wanting to,
Why Can't I stand still?

Why do I roll aound without wheels
and fly without feathers or wings?

And how can I talk transmigration
if my bones live in Chile?


XXXI/Question Book | Pablo Neruda

This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.

( days 34 and 35...Collapse )







Day: 036</center>


There's less of the artist in me lately and more of the half-hearted blogger. This is a picture of me at dinner with my mother. I'm drinking raspberry lemonade and I could taste the bitteness from the seeds, but I finished it all anyway.

Friday, I found myself packing at the last minute (yet again) every last one of my worldly possessions into all of my suitcases.

My things wouldn't fit and I had to borrow one from my grandmother, which is either a really good metaphor for my life right now, or just a sign that I am often unprepared for any amount of change.

I was on two different planes, met a handful of strangely/delightfully nice strangers, and on that last flight, a grown man kicked the back of my seat for an hour and a half.

I understand, though. Travel makes the best of us fussy.

I knit half of a cowl for someone I'm fond of, cried by the luggage claim while I waited for my mother to meet me, and that was only up until 4pm this afternoon.

I feel bruised all over.

I think today was a fight, and I'm only standing because I was stupid enough not to just fall down and stay.

This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.

I believe in trees.
I believe in birds that live in trees.
I believe that behind every one bird is a sky forever expanding.
I believe all windows look out to the same sky.
I believe in keeping secrets.
I believe there is sincerity in lies.
I believe when the lights go off the furniture keep to their places.
I believe in faith.
I believe that if you believe hard enough you will soon enough be saved.
( I believe in walls. That we need them.Collapse )

This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.

There used to be someone
To whom I could say do you
Love me and be sure that the
Answer would always be yes;
There used to be someone to
Whom I could telephone and
Be sure when the operator
Said do you accept the charges
The answer would always be yes;
But now there is no one to ask
No one to telephone from the
Strangeness of cities in the
Lateness of nightness now there
Is no one always now no one
No someone no never at all.

( Can you imagineCollapse )

This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.