Finito
I am considering this journal finished.

No updates from now on.

(Comment on this)

Oh what the hell...
Well, I've decided.

"What?" you find yourself asking.

I've decided to cop to my alter ego since he rarely writes anymore and I'm fairly sure the holes that got knocked in his mask by certain *@&@# free mail services have all but made this moot.

So, alter ego, stand up and be recognized...

Current Mood: apathetic

(4 Comments |Comment on this)

Hey, look, it's another update
Well...

Yeah...

( Angst ahoyCollapse )

Current Mood: discontent

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

Masks and fanfic
So, my dear wife is all but out of comic fanfic. Not too much of a disruption to me, really, since I retired like..what...2 years ago has it been?

Only...did I?

I have written a few things under a pseudonym...the reason for that is complicated. This pseudonym started off as an experiment, evolved into a mental challenge, blossomed into a private joke and now he has a life of his own.

I'm not sure if I'll ever write under his name again. I'm trying, but who knows. I wonder if there's any point to the charade anymore, though. Part of me wonders if people will be peeved to know I've been keeping secrets from them.

I don't know. I'm pretty proud of him. He's managed to avoid all the politics, the infighting and the cliqueishness...mostly by remaining apart and quiet. I wonder if he'll lose that by getting attached to me.

What does the world think? Should I take off the mask?

Current Mood: apathetic

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

uh...yeah...
So, I have officially been nudged to update my journal.

Watch me summon up any kind of ability to care.

So, this is the state of things, has been for a while and won't likely change ever soon.

I despise conservative Republicans.

I have strong prejudices against fundamentalist or fanatical religious groups...and I'm not overly fond of fanatics of anything else.

My job sucks.

I love Kelly.

I continue to mock myself with the fancy I can get published.

Money? What's that?

I hate my job.

Thank you, that is all.

Current Mood: discontent

(Comment on this)

What would Jesus do?
I'm laughing and almost crying.

These are the sort of people I talk about when I slam religious folks, these are the ones who give Christians a bad name. I will call them zealots...and I think Jesus said, "Beware the zealots."

I hope I can use that term to separate the bad from the good.

There was a rally here in OC. A victims rights group was staging a protest outside a Church to continue to put pressure on the Church to cast out molesters.

Agree or disagree, these people were in no way insulting the parishoners themselves or accusing them of complicity in the crime.

It was different on the otherside, apparently. As they went in to worship, these zealots shouted obscenities at the protesters.

One man, upon encountering a woman who claims she was molested as a child, was quoted as saying, "I bet you enjoyed it, didn't you?"

Isn't it funny how these people (zealots, not good Christians) go to Church, they listen, they chant and they look down their moral noses at everyone else.

And the moment their spiritual purity- their higher moral fiber - is tested, they turn into the mean, hateful, base human beings they claim to not be, that they claim thir religion shields them from becoming?

Current Mood: contemplative

(Comment on this)

Reflecting on "Panic Room" – spoilers ahead…
This movie was a bizarre hash of heist flicks and Home Alone. I am really curious what drew Foster and Whittaker to this movie. Like them or hate them, they tend to choose movies for the uniqueness of the script.

This movie was by the numbers start to finish.

You have the Funny Crook, the Good-Guy Crook and the Looney Crook. The Looney kills the Funny to clear the way for the predictable conflict between himself and Good-Guy.

Problems I had with this movie…

When they finally get their neighbor's attention with the flashlight, why do they turn it off? How is it they reasoned their voices could be heard across a street, in a storm and through the guy's window?

When the cops come to her door, she knows the crooks cannot hear her. Why does she not explain the situation to them? Having cops nearby seemed like a good idea to me.

(The movie gets points for having one of the cops actually realize something's wrong, but it's still in the red.)

Finally, the sledgehammer…a sledgehammer is a very heavy piece of metal on the end of the stick. If you can lift it and swing it, you create momentum. The impact of that hunk of metal on a human skull will most likely induce death, possibly coma…at least unconsciousness.

How the hell did the guy get up 2 seconds later? How was he able to walk? How was he able to perpetuate his assault?

Oh, and what is it with Directors and their fetish for having large sums of money flying through the air? What possessed Burnham (Good-Guy) to pull the bonds out of his jacket?

Movie gets a C, barely.

Current Mood: bored

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

catching up
Well, I've been terribly remiss in writing about something very important that has taken place. I apologize, as I'm sure you're all very curious what I think.

Well, to be honest, "Devil's Due" getting a Hall of Fame award is a little shocking.

Why are you all staring at me? You thought I was going to talk about something else?

DD is a story I am glad to be associated with and yet have never felt entirely comfortable around. It was never written for public consumption. Had I known it would be viewed by so many for so long...well, I would have put more than a single weekend into it.

It was written for friends, people whose buttons I know how to push. That a lot of scenes were written purely for shock value is obvious. People have said I went too far, and they were right...they just didn't know I had done so deliberately.

DD was what gave me identity in the community, and notoriety. It put me in a select group of horror writers, which was odd since I've never been a horror writer.

Other works followed, none of which had the same impact. Odd, really, since those were the stories I put real heart into. I wonder if I am a better writer when I'm not trying.

Kelly would (and has) sternly tell me that I don't promote my work...which is valid, but I never promoted DD either.

I start to feel like the Star Trek stars, wanting recognition for other things I've done and resenting the story that has branded me.

But then I remind myself that if I gave people some enjoyment with anything I wrote, that's good enough. DD was the first of its kind. I suppose that is why it stands out.

The rough spot comes when I remember that I was a ghost-writer for half of it. The beginning was mine, but most all of the death and violence were ideas given to me by Kielle.

So, I suppose what I'm saying is that I'm not really connected to the story, especially not after all this time, but I can sit back and admire it for what it is.

It took a small fan-ficdom by storm. It tossed people out of their ruts and made them realize their heroes were vulnerable. It made them cry, it made them angry...it made them sick.

It affected people, which is the highest honor a story can achieve.

So, congratulations on your award, "Devil's Due."

You earned it.

Current Mood: thoughtful

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

The answer at last!
This from Mr. Cranky, in is review for "Resident Evil."

"I don't know for sure, but isn't bringing your infant to a film like 'Resident Evil' proof you're not a fit parent? The theaters should just hire social service workers as ushers so they can transfer these kids into state custody on the spot."

I think this law should be enacted.

Oh, and why isn't this day over yet?

Current Mood: anxious

(Comment on this)

oh dear...
Why am I looking forward to karaoke? What terrible new dementia has been visited upon me that I actually enjoy this?

I guess the part of me that has grown agitated with myself for falling back on old habits - aka isolating myself - sees this as a good way to force myself to be social.

Not too sure. I do know that having skipped it last week I'm greatly looking forward to Fri night so I can get my fix.

Current Mood: confused

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

da hell?
I got nominated for a Creative License???

I haven't written anything in like 3 years. How the Hell did this happen?

Um, er, well...thanks, whoever...

Current Mood: confused

(1 Comment |Comment on this)

Dad update
So, it looks like he really might be dancing with the Reaper this time, and I'm sitting here at work pretending it doesn't bother me, because there's no reason for it to bother me, but he could go at any moment or he might make a miraculous recovery and I don't know which I'd prefer and I don't know if I don't know which I'd prefer because preferring the one I think I prefer makes me a bad person or if I may still have some lingering feelings of guilt over all this and it's making my head hurt trying to figure it all at.

Current Mood: confused

(3 Comments |Comment on this)

Police, I need to report an attack...
So I spent most of yesterday in a brain-chemical-imbalanced stupor, hating just about everything about me, my job and especially my writing. I knew it was just the brain soup going bad, but that only made it worse - I dislike the idea of being victim to my body's weaknesses.

Anyway, I was gonna turn in early, rest up and get to work early so I could get home early. I decided to do a thing or two on the book before bed, just poking at it to accentuate my misery. I was in such a funk, I doubted I could even do any transcribing.

And then, astoundingly, I was attacked by my muse. The scene on paper came alive and I found myself typing frantically, adapting what I had written and adding improvements fluidly.

9:30, 9:45...10...

I finally managed to kick her off around 10:30, but even then she kept me up past midnight, whispering in my ear.

I feel so violated. :)

Current Mood: mischievous

(Comment on this)

Gots to aks a question
I am heavily sunk into writing mode, and as I try to evaluate my work realistically, a question keeps plaguing me.

What is good writing?

The answer is different for everybody (darn this individualism anyhow)

So I want to know what it is that makes you guys like a story?

Current Mood: curious

(3 Comments |Comment on this)

Still think discrimination against gays is a myth?
excerpt from article by Anne Rostow

"A three-judge panel of the Kansas Court of Appeals has upheld a criminal sodomy conviction, and a 17-year prison sentence, for a teen-age boy who had consensual oral sex with another boy of nearly 15.

Under Kansas law, heterosexual teens who are under 19 and within four years of each other's age are not prosecuted under the same statutes that govern adult statutory rape. Instead, they are given a lighter sentence under a provision called the "Romeo and Juliet" law. That law, however, applies exclusively to heterosexual teens, and it did not cover the case of Matthew Limon."

Burn the world. Burn it all.

Current Mood: enraged

(Comment on this)

purely hypothetical
Since Matt has raised the Boy Scouts issue again, I've been chewing on it a little, and while I still support the Supreme Court decision, a disturbing question came to mind. I thought I'd toss it out there for all you thinkers and see what you come up with.

If the Boy Scouts decided they would no longer admit blacks, would the Government be allowed to intervene by the high court?

I don't mean what they should decide, I mean what you think they would decide. No right or wrong answer, just a brain teaser.

Current Mood: thoughtful

(14 Comments |Comment on this)

What is wrong with this picture?
Christine Pelton, high school teacher in Kansas, has just resigned in disgust, and I don’t blame her. She caught several of her students cheating on a critical report, one that was worth 50% of their grade.

They plagiarized material off the Internet. Can you imagine anything so half-ass? Cut and paste a few documents and hand it in as your report?

Well, she had warned them that cheating would not be tolerated. So, she flunked them.

Did their parents:

A)ground them into oblivion

B)ask the teacher to accept a redone report, even if it meant having points docked for being late

C)all of the above

D)none of the above

Answer is D. They did what any thin-blooded, whiney American would do. They complained! As anyone knows (and their kids certainly do now) when anything doesn’t go your way, throw a hissy fit until someone gives you what you want.

One of the parent’s was quoted as saying, "My daughter did not plagiarize. She just didn’t know how much of the research material to rewrite."

da Hell?

And the School Board agreed with them. Can you believe it? They over-rode Ms. Pelton, usurped her authority and undermined every ounce of respect her students had for her.

The best part is she told the cheaters why she’d done it; that in college, such actions might get them expelled so it was best to not get into the habit.

To which one of them replies (according to her) "Nah, my parents will get me out of that too."

?????

What is wrong with people? What ever happened to “do the crime, do the time”? Aren’t there supposed to be consequences for rule-breakers?

One of her fellow teachers said something along the lines of, "Think of how much harder this makes it for those who don’t cheat, how they have to compete with cheaters to get into college." Important words that the freaking school board needs to consider.

This blows. Many of her colleagues are apparently resigning as well over this idiocy. If I were a parent of a student there, I would pull them out so fast it would make the school board’s head spin.

Cheaters never prosper...well, sometimes…okay, most of the time...
...in the U.S.A

Current Mood: frustrated

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

Back in play?
Somewhere around 1991/1992, a thought struck me: Why not combine my two favorite things into one? A fantasy story about a rock band that gets yanked into another world.

I jotted down a few brief notes; names of characters, their basic personalities (based on numerous stories of real-life musicians) a villain’s name and what he was. The idea appealed to me because it allowed me to explore the complex (and oftentimes tragic) lives of musicians in a setting that I am versed in.

I then carefully tucked the notes away, because I was busy with Laersyn’s book.

( On second thought, this is getting a little long...Collapse )

Current Mood: nervous

(3 Comments |Comment on this)

arrrghh
Beginning of the month...means 8 hours of solid Excel work, prepping spreadsheets and reports. This has got to be one of the lower planes of hell.

Current Mood: blah

(Comment on this)

damn it
For anyone who might not have been reading this journal since the early days, my views on abortion are that I am firmly Pro-life, but that is my choice, and I think everyone has the right to make that choice for themselves. So I am also Pro-choice.

Our bastard of a President, der Fuhrer Bush, is far more clever than I gave him credit for. I don't think he's bright enough to be dangerous himself, but he's bright enough to surround himself with dangerously clever advisors.

He is bent on a quest of weasling every bit of power he can out of his position, and using it to further the ends of those freaking fascists known as conservatives.

Yes, that's what I call them. They want everyone to act like them, think like them, believe like them...to homogenize humanity in their image...and they'll use force of law to do it.

Bush has been subtly shoving his agenda forward, and it has taken an awful turn. He has used his executive authority to classify a fetus as a child from the point of conception.

He just made himself mightier than the Supreme Court.

I'd like to think someone will shoot this down, but my faith in our legislators has been severely tarnished.

"Oh, but it's just to get women prenatal care. How could you have a problem with that?"

Clever. Very clever. Anyone who stands in opposition to this will be branded a child-killer, instead of a defendent of the U.S. Constitution.

There are other ways to accomplish this. He could have easily passed a law giving women easy access to prenatal care. He chose to do it this way because he knew the damage it would do to Roe v. Wade.

I wonder what's next. Prayer in schools? Bible study in junior high? Banning the sale of condoms?

Or maybe I just won't be legally allowed to write things like this anymore.

Current Mood: enraged

(14 Comments |Comment on this)