I had jury duty last week and I was so excited!  I deliberately make sure that my driver license and my voter registration names are slightly different--one has only my middle initial, one has my middle name spelled out--so that I get called more often.   I really like serving on a trial.   But it was a wash out, as usual.  I sat in the big assembly room all day.  I studied Italian and read my Kindle, and looked up often, in case anyone wanted to talk, but no one did.  Disappointing.  My brother, who works at the County, was not available for lunch, so I didn't even get to visit with him. 

Near the end of the day, I sat on the concrete bench outside, hoping to absorb some of the late sun, when an older man made a comment about the day, and finding me responsive and friendly, sat by my side for a chat.  It was a pleasant chat in the breezy afternoon.  We found we knew some people in common, and he laughed at my little witticisms.  I told him I was recently retired and he said the same thing that everyone does.  And it never fails to enrage me.

He said, "After you've retired, time goes by so quickly."

My hackles raised and I sat up straighter.  "Everyone says that!  And I reject it!  Time is time and it doesn't go by any slower or faster.  It's only your perception of it.  If you look back upon it, it always seems like it's gone by quickly.  But look at today.  Did time go by quickly while we were here?"

Of course he could not deny that it had been a very slow day, and he looked at me a little startled. But then his face relaxed into a smile and he chuckled.  "I like you!" he said.  "You are the type of person I would like to get to know, I can tell."  And he patted my knee with gusto.

It's been an easy transition, easier than I thought.  Now my next transition will be death.  What could be easier than that?  All you do is lie there.  Ha!

But seriously, folks.  Here is what I've learned.

I don't want to go back.  I thought I'd still want to be a little involved in all that goes on at the college.  But on day three or four of my separation, I stepped back into my old office to pick up some things I'd left and check on my replacement, and it didn't feel good.  I expected it to feel good.  I thought I would have the luxurious feel of being a visitor while having no responsibilities.  But I felt my hackles rise as I entered and felt immediately that I no longer belonged.  It was like taking a step into the past, and that is something I never want to do.   I've entered my new life and I like it.  So I got out of there as soon as I could.

An ex co-worker told me before I retired that "you don't know how stressed you are until you retire."  One of the things I was most looking forward to was not working, and seeing how that relaxed me.  But I found that working was not what stressed me out.  After all, my job was a good one.  I liked it.  It wasn't too difficult or too fast paced.  People were nice.  I had plenty of time to complete my tasks.  But I am less stressed.  That's because I now have sufficient time to do all the other things I want to do.  I can now spend two hours a day playing piano.  I can attend to the garden in the middle of the day.  I can do laundry in the middle of the week.  I have time for all my friends.  I've become a nicer person now that I no longer have the nagging feeling that I don't have enough time to do everything I want to do.

Time is not infinite.  Having said that I now have enough time to do it all, I thought it would feel more like vacation, which feels like a book of blank pages waiting to be written on.  It does not feel like that.  I do not feel that I have limitless time.  I don't even feel an abundance of time.  There's enough, yes, but I would like even more.  Perhaps this will change, but for now, I feel that all I want to do has swollen like a sponge to fill all the time I have to do it, so my days are very full.

It used to really peeve me when retirees would say "We're busier than ever and time goes by so fast!"  Well, I hate it anyway when people say time goes by really fast.  Time does not go by fast.  Your perception of it changes.  But I have never felt that to be true.  For me, when I am really enjoying myself, time slows down.   A week of vacation feels like a month.  And I feel like people are shooting themselves in the foot by saying "time goes by fast."  Time is always the same,  But now that I'm retired, my perception is that time is stretching, yawing, and I'm certainly not busier than ever, but I have plenty to do and I think of more things to do every day.

Life is good.