i finished my card for hp_tarot_deck and i finished it ON FUCKING TIME. everybody be amazed, now. :) well here it is, the nine of swords, version : prof sinistra. i have the larger version but photobucket for some reason won't let me upload it without resizing it, so i'm going to have to wait and see if i can fix that.... anyway. it's not perfect, it's not even really that good, but i had *so* much fun doing it. i forgot how much i love my coloured pencils; putting the colours together to shadow and highlight, overlaying and crosshatching and all that... i love the telescope best, i think, though i am rather proud of her hair as well.

also....... i had something else to say, and i forgot what it was. dammit.

when mondays attack. gragh.


four days till i get on the plane. i need to stop faffing around the house and actually pack. yeesh. now, i know when suzi swears it's cold out there that she's lying ;) but i'm paranoid and so i know i'm going to end up bringing a sweater and a sweatshirt as well as my velvet jacket [which i need to get something else to close it with, the hooks and eyes have all ripped off and i'm quite annoyed], and i'm just not going to need them. and of course there's the customary 9238724869734987 shirts to go with my 4 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts and 294857 skirts..... yeah. i overpack. linaeloisetook feels my pain, i know. XD

this icon is for rinlage in memory of one year ago, the secret valentines craziness that was going on on ninesickles. we were good, y0. *highfives* i still need to make myself a beckham!prewetts icon.... my icons need revamping a little, as does my userinfo. oh, my to-do list never ends......


ps. anyone who can figure out how to make douxquemiel's computer take screencaps so she can cap S2 of the west wing for me gets a gold star. XD

also.

pimping hp_tarot_deck because it's the SHIZZLE. other comms like this have been started and abandoned several times in my memory, but dracopottamus seems dedicated as hell, and so hopefully it will follow through.

a few things on the fangirl front.

i never thought i would say this. but ian somerhalder is my boyfriend. zomg, the boy is HOT. just LOOK at that icon. he's BEAUTIFUL. i understand why people use him as sirius [and i won't get into my hatred of mainstream actors as HP avatars, you've probably all heard it already]. gnaaaahhh his eyes are incredible. josh holloway isn't half bad either; he's more my actorly type, i think, though i acknowledge that half the reason i enjoy him is b/c he reminds me of perfectmurder!viggo. i really love his character on lost though, more than i love him; i'm always drawn to the asshole types, and he really takes the cake. i can't wait to catch up on season 2 and see what else we find out about him.

also fangirly, an elaboration on my second viewing of GoF:
i fucking. love. cedric. diggory. and NOT because i'm like zomg robert pattinson let me have your children. i remember when GoF was first published -- i was a junior in high school, i'd just finished books 1-3, and i was soooo hooked. i had a 10 minute break at starbucks the day it came out, during which i jogged to barnes & noble in the rain, bought it, and jogged back. me. jogged. for harry potter. please take a moment to reflect on my obsession, even before i knew fandom existed. anyway, i sat up and read the entire thing that night, and i have this crystal clear image of me lying on my bed sobbing my eyes out as i read the end. i was, like, distraught. it wasn't on. i hadn't cried at a book like that since the previous time i'd read little women [shuddup, beth dying always makes me weep] and i was shocked to feel this much about one of these books. it was really GoF that made me a hardcore fan of the series, i think, and i will always remember it as being this brain-altering book for me. so seeing the movie again, it hit me all over how intense and involved it is, and seeing cedric on-screen larger than life is so poignant -- the director is just brilliant, he spends the whole movie showing you how full of life cedric is, how bright and happy and good and alive, and then in two seconds without any preparation or forewarning he just takes it all away. in the graveyard scene i didn't cry right away like the first time. i started to cry when voldemort put his foot on cedric's face.

and interestingly, i started to bawl when voldie mentioned "dear sweet lily potter". i don't know why. i suppose if fandom took away my ability to enjoy the HP series without analyzing it to death, it compensated by giving me this pure and undying love for the idea of the older generation of characters, the potters and the prewetts and the longbottoms and the whole culture of what-they-were-once, of what-they-might-have-been. i fucking lost it when the potters came out of voldie's wand, both times, and i'm really not clear why it's so gut-wrenching to me. but it is. it'll be the same to me in the 5th movie; i'll bet you now twenty bucks i cry during snape's worst memory.

though probably for a different reason than linaeloisetook will cry. :D

alright. i'm off to actually do some writing, finish watching two towers [woot tv] and maybe do some other productive shit. i hope everyone's having a fun friday night -- oh and geek squad, if you did go see serenity in hartford tonight, someone call me tomorrow so we can talk about it. XD

goodnight.

OH PS - 72 lost icons up here, plz. to be checking out. XD

i've updated sinistrata with some blends i've worked on lately, plus some of my old LJ blends. savannahdreamer, i made one for space_courtesan too. ^_^ and if any of you want me to make you a blend [to other the_blank_slate players and their pups as well, i love doing character stuff] throw me some pictures and/or links and/or text, and i'll get to it. my next mission is probably going to be something lost-themed for sinistrata, now that i've figured out how to put up a blend in an unpaid account..... oh and rinlage, i'm working on your lj thing as well, fear not. :)

incidentally, comment if you can see this. maybe i'm just paranoid but i've had like no comments lately, and i'm wondering if my entries are visible.. it's happened before, when they just didn't show up on others' flists... and given recent LJ maintenance and the complete void of comment notification emails i've been getting, it wouldn't surprise me to find out it's happened again. also, if you've recently left me a comment and i haven't responded, email me or comment here and tell me where; i've been trying to go back to entries i've commented on and see if i'm missing anything, but sometimes i forget where i've commented.

lots of 'energy being wasted' and 'ignore things that cause you pain' in my readings lately. i know it, i feel it, but i don't know what to do about it. i do feel wasted, and wasting away, but i don't know what my alternative is. "i love our home, but i'm just so fitful being here, and i know i'll never fit in anywhere..." [[10pts name that quote...]] i keep getting money cards, too, which i find ironic given my lack of work, and the page of swords just will not fucking quit me. i wish it would just snow already, that always puts me in a good mood. psycho, i know, but winter is my happy time. ^___^;;

i hate feeling needy. feeling like i need validation from anyone. it reminds me of people that i do *not* want to be like. i can quit *that* at least, i know i can. i'm really looking forward to new year's this year, i like that we have a tradition, and i know i can always count on that to be a good time. i need to start thinking about holiday cards and presents too; i have some bought already, astonishing i know, but some people are so hard to figure out...... things to ponder, i suppose. and go search amazon for wish lists. XD

a few things.

-finished rereading GoF last night. it floored me. if the movie does even half-assed justice to the last five chapters of the book, i'm going to walk out of that theater like a lightning-strike survivor. jeeeeeeebus.

-watched 'crash' on sunday. i liked it, and i didn't. it was conflicting. the only characters i truly liked were the two car thieves. though i realized that don cheadle is the answer to all movie/actor/sixdegrees games, b/c he's in both 'crash' and 'ocean's 11' which collectively have every actor ever in them.

-also watched the extended rotk on sunday. it's been a while. it really made me feel good. that northernness stirring in me again, like it does. ::knows at least sekala and lauralyrics won't think she's crazy:: i want to go buy a good translation of beowulf now.

-i need to sleep more.

-got a journal for tarot musings. i've been drawing a lot of the same cards lately; all telling me things i sort of knew already but couldn't gel into a cohesive thought. it's been really helpful.

-definitely down off my post-vacation high. but peglegmeggs and i are going to this AWESOME restaurant/movietheater on wednesday for sit-on-couches-and-have-dinner-while-watching-movie fun.

-also, probably will not be around tomorrow night, as am going to see avenged sevenfold with the brother in worcester. >___> gloriouselysium if you know them and like them, let me know and i'll get you a sticker or something. though i really, really hope his friend pulls through and i don't have to go.... i mean i'm torn, i want to spend time with him, but it's the middle of the week, and he gets to sleep till noon the next day while i have to get up at 6. conflicted!! x_____x;;;;;;


:nods definitively: sleep now.

so, this is a list of stuff i want to remind myself to buy as i gradually get money, and my insane birthday wish list, since some of the items on here i would only ever have if i also had magic and/or a million dollars (or galleons) to spend. so feel free to ignore this, it's in no way a 'plz to be buying me stuff' list, more a reminder that i shouldn't be making 3 trips to starbucks a week because three weeks of not doing that would pay for my slytherin tie..... also input on the tarot decks i have listed below, if you've ever used any of them before, would be superhelpful.

( i want a cookie, i want a party, i want i want i want me me me my my my now now now....Collapse )

okay, now back to your regularly scheduled stuff.... i'll probably be back with one of those letters-of-vaguery floating around. or something else, maybe. i'm thinking.

dude from I.T. came in about an hour ago, turned on the computer, heard the european police siren noise and made the kind of face most people make when they see roadkill that obviously used to be someone's pet. he looked at me like i'd run over little fluffy on purpose, and said "i'll be right back" in a very cold tone. he disappeared and five minutes later came back with a tool belt on and a very determined face. he dove under my desk and fiddled; i heard screws being taken out, things being snapped into or out of place, a lot of banging and a bit of cursing. ten minutes later he emerged, still looking v. put out, and restarted the computer with no problem. he left and didn't tell me what went wrong or why. [wanker] i just wanted to follow after him and be like "HELLO, I DID NOT DO THIS, IT STARTED IT FOR NO REASON, PLZ TO BE STOPPING THE HATE." graaagh.



can i also say how much i fucking hate having to go to work when you are sick. what. the. fuck. i said this to someone yesterday, that there should be a such thing as calling in sick to life- where you can just make people forget you exist so you aren't missed and you can just stay in bed and fucking sleep all day.

coffee or drinks or dinner or something with lying_solo and peglegmeggs after work today. word. as long as i stop feeling like all food is going to make me sick, i'll be great. seriously though, as much as a 2.5 day work week sucks for the paycheck, if it was really only tuesday right now i would honestly consider killing myself.

i'm going to buy a corset tomorrow. maybe even today. XD i'm on this kick right now where i enjoy being dressed up, and i want a corset real bad after seeing what cineophilia's did to her figure- even if nobody sees it, i like the feeling of wearing it, and i like knowing i look better in my clothes. i tried one on two days ago and jesus, i had a WAIST. it was incredible. the question now is just, do i get the sheer black with little pastel applique flowers, or the black satin with the white ribbon laces? >___>

i just have to say this because i'm amused by it- at 8 am i drew the two of swords. 11:30 i drew the four of swords. it is, therefore, a sword day, but unfortunately not a red day, and the sun is nowhere in sight. ::still wants to be theoden king:: maybe someday i'll get bored and actually write bernard hill that letter i planned all those months ago. :D


darkasphodel and i are discussing bad movies. 'house of the dead' was first on my list, lol to those unfortunates that watched it with me... what else do you guys think? worst movie ever, let's hear it. i'm sure there are depths i can't even imagine it's possble to sink to.......