i'm making an announcement-- as of now, unless i state otherwise (or it's otherwise apparent) when i refer to lindsay i am referring to linaeloisetook and not to my crazy ex. okay? okay.

so in that spirit, LINDSAY always has said that this song reminded her of me-- that it seemed to be /about/ me to her. and given that i have always felt the same way about it, i've often returned to it at pertinent times in life and reflected on how i seem to have an endless capacity to reinvent myself. all part of being a scorpio, obviously, but sometimes i start to feel like i can't do it anymore, and i just need to tell myself otherwise. so. GLP.

When the door shuts don’t worry about me
Its not attention that I want from you
I need you to trust who I’m gonna be
And in everything I’m going to do
Cause I’m not afraid of what I don’t know
For understanding is all that I earn
What is for sure is I’m gonna to go
I’m gonna to live and I’m going to learn
And I know there will be mistakes that I will make
But I know none are worse than chances I don’t take, take
Right before your eyes I am changing, changing
New life on the inside I am changing, changing
When the door shuts, it shuts in front of me
A new person that I have become
I follow my heart to my destiny
But living in fear and sorrow is done
There will be no more feeling that I’m all alone
I will surround myself with things that help me grow, grow
Right before your eyes I am changing, changing
New life on the inside I am changing, changing
Right before your eyes


also-- in an effort to minimize the craziness of this lj, i've gone through and unfriended a bunch of people who weren't on my filters. if you've been unfriended and you'd like to be re-friended, just let me know and i'll add you back. i'm pretty easy about these things. :)

so, i'm back at that lovely place in life where i burst into tears every time i hear dar williams' voice. and of course, masochistically, this means i must listen to her as often as possible. she fits my mood lately, which i realize is very women's college of me, but whatever, whatcha gonna do.

i never really listened to the words to this one before today, but it's wonderful.

How can I ask love to hold the mystery
When just look at me
It's all push and pull collateral
I don't want to be the one who gets the next surprise
I'll plan it out this time
Though I used to think that things were meant to be
So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It's always changing anyhow
I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet
It wasn't over yet
'Round 'bout 3 a. m. you made a friend
And I followed a lot of vital crazy thoughts
Because it's where the meaning was
And I tried to find it every other way
So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is getting better now
But always changing anyhow
But I can turn on the charm
Show them nothing more
Than what I've done before
It's nothing much new
But it'll do
'Cause I don't wanna be the one who makes you laugh out loud
I wanna make you proud
And you always said you knew what I could be
So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
But always changing anyhow
Time
And the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell.

You tried to make me doubt, to make me guess, tried to make me feel like a little  l e s s,
Oh, I liked you when your soul was bared, I thought you knew how to be scared,
And now its amazing what you did to make me stay,
But truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going,
And so I'm leaving, you're gonna find out how much better things can get,
And if it helps, I'd say I feel a  l i t t l e  w o r s e  than I did when we met,
So when you find someone else, you can try again, it might work next time,
You look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low,
"If I could believe that stuff, Id say that woman has a halo,"
And I look out and say, "Yeah, she's really blond,"
And then I go outside and join the others,  I  a m  t h e  o t h e r s,
Oh -- and thats not easy, I dont know what you saw,
I want somebody who sees me,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.




the days just keep getting better and better. even my plague cough has dissipated slightly. i am so fucking happy it hurts.
<3