{"@attributes":{"version":"2.0"},"channel":{"title":"the waste land","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/","description":"the waste land - LiveJournal.com","lastBuildDate":"Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:38:46 GMT","generator":"LiveJournal \/ LiveJournal.com","copyright":"NOINDEX","image":{"url":"https:\/\/l-userpic.livejournal.com\/67074041\/1459621","title":"the waste land","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/","width":"100","height":"100"},"item":[{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254329.html","pubDate":"Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:38:46 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254329.html","description":"a big thank you to everyone who offered to donate to the ebay auction-- however it seems the listing has been taken down. i'm not sure why; the blog site i got the info from originally doesn't have an update, so idk what happened. but thanks anyway, you guys, it's appreciated!

♥","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254329.html?view=comments#comments","category":["gay","issues"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254008.html","pubDate":"Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:21:13 GMT","title":"human rights for sale","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254008.html","description":"x-posted from my other journal, sorry for those of you who are seeing this twice.

<\/a>knitmeapony<\/b><\/a><\/span> linked to this on her twitter today.

Heterosexual woman puts her right to marry up for auction on EBay.<\/a>

Jamie Frevele says \"I\u2019m an unmarried heterosexual woman, and since I probably won\u2019t be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away. I would like to sell it to the highest bidder and donate the proceeds to an organization that supports LGBT rights since the government designed to protect all of us is picking and choosing based on what they think is icky, weird, or unknown to them.\"

i really, really want to donate to this, but sadly if i win i don't have $150 to give all at once. and so i was thinking, a lot of you lovely flisters might be in a similar situation. and wouldn't it be awesome if we all chipped in a bunch of money and bid as a collective to give to this cause? it would kind of make my day, actually, not to mention my holiday season.

i know it is the holidays and a lot of you guys are probably a little strapped for cash. but if thirty of you gave ten dollars that'd more than double the current bid on the auction (you can track it here : on ebay<\/a>). i won't do this if i don't get a bunch of responses, like, enough to really make a difference, but if enough of you say you're willing to chip in, i'd love to do this.

i'll go ahead and say i'll put in $50 of my own money, and if i can get pledges up to $300 (to be paypaled within the next three days-- the auction ends 12\/12) i'll do it.

it's not often i see someone acting out in such a creative and positive way to fight for equal rights-- i really want to support her if i can. so comment, flist, and let me know how much you'd be willing to chip in. :)","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/254008.html?view=comments#comments","category":["gay","issues"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253809.html","pubDate":"Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:41:30 GMT","title":"look at me oh look at me \/ is this the way i'll always be?","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253809.html","description":"as of yesterday i have been single and free for one year. free; it sounds melodramatic, i guess, but i've never stopped feeling that's the best word to use. a year of being actually myself, of breathing easy, of not second-guessing or doubting everything i thought, said and did. feels like freedom to me.

i owe you big, flist. i haven't been around a whole lot, i know, but i've been getting my shit together and a lot of you are part of the reason why i had the courage to get away in the first place. so thanks for that; i really needed it. :\"}","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253809.html?view=comments#comments","category":["self inspection","&in that moment i swear we were infinite","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253539.html","pubDate":"Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:27:47 GMT","title":"EUREKA","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253539.html","description":"i've finally figured out what it is about jack nicholson that freaks me out so badly-- one of the main things aside from the crazy-eyed intensity, that is. it's his diction-- he has such precise diction and he speaks so clearly and correctly, it can come across as really, really eerie. and then when he uses certain casual words (\"don'tcha\" comes to mind cus he just said it on the tv) it's so super creepy, it's like he's *trying* to be casual in a way that's unnatural to him.

this came up b\/c i'm watching kubrick's version of 'the shining' for the first time; i've always avoided it because of how creepy i find nicholson, but i guess now i was ready for it cus i'm really enjoying it. it's shot really brilliantly and while nicholson's really not who i think stephen king was picturing when he wrote jack torrence, i think he's playing the character well. i do still prefer the miniseries, because it's more faithful to the book, but this is enjoyable. :) though oh my god, all that nails-on-the-chalkboard screeching music is giving me a headache, lol.","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253539.html?view=comments#comments","category":["random","movies"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253247.html","pubDate":"Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:33:06 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253247.html","description":"i had pondered writing a post about coming out day, but then i read a bunch of posts that said everything better than i could have. for your consideration :

+ \"fear, loathing and 'coming out'\"<\/a> by <\/a>azurelunatic<\/b><\/a><\/a>elorie<\/b><\/a><\/span> discusses the sexuality quiz show<\/a>.
+ a lot of you have probably seen the heterosexuality questionnaire<\/a>, but it's worth reading again, i think.
+ pondering the 'unified theory of gay'<\/a> by thingswithwings<\/b> at dreamwidth.

another friend had a really interesting post, but it's flocked, sadly. but she made what is, i think, the best point so far which is that we often don't think of ourselves as being on the front lines of any kind of equality struggle, but we are. we have to do the hard work of coming out now because unless we do, there likely won't ever *be* a world in which no one assumes anything about anyone's sexuality, a world in which there's no need to qualify \"i like girls\" any more than there is need to qualify \"i like brunettes\" now. my friend also linked this youtube vid<\/a> in which a guy who makes greeting cards shows off some coming out cards, and at the end thanks the gay friends he had in school for showing him that gay people were real people too. that's why we have to do it (to paraphrase my friend) to build a world where people know we exist.

i've also been having really, really, really messed up dreams lately. not nightmares, just like, dreams containing people i haven't seen or thought of in years, really random and sometimes disturbing (in a where-the-fuck-did-that-come-from way) situations, and just a lot of stuff that leaves me waking up going \"what the everloving fuck, yo?\" i woke up this morning from one such and it kind of put a weird spin on the whole morning. sigh.

but i just cleaned and organized my room and vacuumed, which always makes me happy. i'd love to know what the gene is that codes people to take comfort from cleaning, b\/c it definitely runs in my family, and it's very strange. rearranging furniture, too, i get such a kick out of that.

it's time for lunch. ♥","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/253247.html?view=comments#comments","category":["idiosyncracies","gay","issues","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252993.html","pubDate":"Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:30:49 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252993.html","description":"i am now officially an employee of LUSH, motherfuckers. hello, real job. hello, fifty percent discount. and yes, i do take bribes. :\"D :\"D :\"D

the other best thing that's happened to me in the past few weeks was mainlining season two thru the current episode of supernatural. i watched season 3 in a DAY last week, lol, i'm caught up in time for tonight's ep and i cannot even talk about how fucking pumped i am about it. i love this show more than i did back when i was marathoning season one, and that's saying quite a bit given that <\/a>sekala<\/b><\/a><\/span> and i sat down and pretty much did the entire season in a week. i can't wait til i have money to buy the other seasons-- this is definitely a show i want to own all of. idk, i'd been spoiled for a bunch of what happens later on and i was still completely into it. castiel is one of the best additions to the show i could've imagined, i love the way he plays off both the winchesters and cannot wait to see more.

i'm sitting here with the second episode of flash forward and wondering if this is going to turn out to be a huge let down or if i'm going to end up loving it. on the one hand i can see the punchline of the show being about how you can't avoid destiny; but on the other hand i don't really know if i want to sign myself up for a season (or two or whatever) of getting invested in these characters and the story when most of what i've seen so far is gearing me toward not wanting the flash forwards to come true. i mean it'll be cool to see how the flash forwards come true, but otoh i'd like to see what happens if\/when someone succeeds in avoiding theirs. idk. i'm not totally hooked on it right now, but i'm interested. the creepy\/psychic kids thing is the part i'm most interested in at the moment, and finding out if there were any other people awake during the blackouts. soooo yes. anyone else w\/thoughts on the show, i'd love to hear 'em. :D

---ETA WHOA WTF JUST HAPPENED. just saw the scene in the warehouse with the creepy dolls and the guy with the-- was that a fishtank full of gasoline or something? idek, i definitely didn't process all of it. \"he who foresees calamity experiences it twice over\", that's what he said, yes? huh. definitely another mark in the \"you can't escape destiny\" column. :x<\/a>

the next show i introduce myself to is probably going to be big bang theory. i have the first bunch of episodes DL'd and have been told repeatedly that i need to watch it, so, yeah watch out for that. :\"D

that's it for now really, just still riding the high from the job thing and freaking out about spn in half an hour. for more fannish-type updates you can always check <\/a>betweenthebliss<\/b><\/a><\/span>, though there's not much there at the moemnt besides tweaking about the giant-ass fic i'm turning in two weeks from today (oh holy god) lol.

<3","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252993.html?view=comments#comments","category":["jobs","tv","lush life","supernatural","fandom","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252737.html","pubDate":"Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:04:40 GMT","title":"i believe the phrase i'm looking for here is \"son of my bitch\"","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252737.html","description":"this is definitely the black death. or something. i'm miserable. except i'm thrilled because not only did i get a second interview with lush but this is my last day at the terrible horrible no good very bad placement full of conservative homophobes. HOO FUCKING RAAAAAAAAAAY.<\/b> so, okay, money might suck a little for a few weeks, but i did get all my bills for september scheduled and paid, and i don't have any plans to travel for a few weeks which is insanely lucky. so i can just kind of lay low for a while. which, NGL, will be really nice. i've been killing myself at this place for months and could use some time to refocus myself and figure out like, the loan business, and how i'm going to go forward with a job search. tonight i'll check postings at colleges and stuff, and maybe the providence journal job postings too. an application to best buy and borders are also in my future-- something that can transfer when i move.

in any case, i'm optimistic. i feel awesome right now (emotionally, lol). now to finish out this day and go home and celebrate. \\o\/ and WRITE, oh my god. :\"D","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252737.html?view=comments#comments","category":["jobs","work","reality just kung-fu'd my ass","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252484.html","pubDate":"Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:19:14 GMT","title":"be remote a while from malice","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252484.html","description":"
First fight. Then fiddle. Ply the slipping string
With feathery sorcery; muzzle the note
With hurting love; the music that they wrote
Bewitch, bewilder. Qualify to sing
Threadwise. Devise no salt, no hempen thing
For the dear instrument to bear. Devote
The bow to silks and honey. Be remote
A while from malice and from murdering.
But first to arms, to armor. Carry hate
In front of you and harmony behind.
Be deaf to music and to beauty blind.
Win war. Rise bloody, maybe not too late
For having first to civilize a space
Wherein to play your violin with grace.

\u2013Gwendolyn Brooks, 1949<\/blockquote>

this poem showed up on my AP english exam in the spring of 2001. i loved it so much i sat there after i'd written my essay and committed it to memory so i could write it down later. (yeah, i'm kind of like rain man sometimes, not the point, lol). i wrote it out that night in my journal and would go back to it fairly often. it moved me; i was continuously struck by the quiet fierceness in it.

september 11 happened during my first week of classes at mount holyoke. i said this on twitter this morning, i'll say it more expansively here. my mom has often said she will never forget exactly where she was when she'd heard JFK had been killed-- i know for the rest of my life i will have a vivid memory of standing in the kitchen of my dorm, dressed for dish duty, listening to an old mix tape on the little radio when the cook ran in frantic. \"turn on the radio,\" she said, \"a plane just flew into the world trade center.\" i don't think of this every day, or even every week. but writing it right now i'm choked up, actually close to tears.

i didn't cry that day, or at least i don't remember doing so. i was too scared. i have family that lives and works in the city. my uncle got out of the second tower fifteen minutes before he collapsed. i found out later he'd called my aunt from inside, while he was stuck in a stairwell with hundreds of other people trying to get out. he said he might not be coming home. i can't imagine what it must have been like to get that phone call-- i heard him tell the story months later, i hadn't even known it was that close until then. i don't think he wanted us to know. my roommate also was from long island, her best friend was at MHC as well. the three of us spent the entire day switching off on my roommate's computer (neither of the other 2 of us had our comps yet) signing into aim, IMing family, asking if there was news. there wasn't any, not until later at night. we crowded into the dorm common room to watch the tv; i'll never forget the clips they showed on repeat, the plane flying into the first tower, the first tower collapsing, then the second. when we left the tv and went back to our rooms we had the radio on from time to time, but after a while it was too hard to listen and not see, too hard to see and not know.

it was that, i think, that hit me hardest. the not knowing-- beyond the simple desperation to know if our families were alive, we-- all of us, everyone i spoke to, from my mother to my roommate to the cook-- were full of anger, burning to know who had done this to us, and more importantly, why.

we have answers to those questions now. i don't know if i'll ever shake the feelings of doubt, guilt and frustration they left me with. it's been eight years and i still get angry-- not only at the people who enacted this horrible vengeance and forced us all to pay the price for america's perceived wrongs-- but at the knowledge that those wrongs are not entirely imagined, that we are, in many ways, the self-entitled greedy careless nation that extremists believe us to be. that we could be doing better. and we're trying-- i'll give us that. we're definitely working at it. but i get even angrier at the knowledge that this attack only strengthened the resolve of so many people to see america put its foot down and say this is what we are and we're never going to change. i'm against war on principle. but even if i weren't, i don't think the past seven years of bloodshed were the right response to what happened on 9\/11. i actually can't think of any situation where the past seven years would be an appropriate response. brooks's sonnet is about fighting for peace, sure, but it's about finding your *own* civilized space, kicking ass so you can do what you love and live without fear. it's not about starting a war because you're furious that someone kicked sand in your face, and it's definitely not about staying in a war you can't win and shouldn't even be waging in the first place.

in december of 2002 i sat in the movie theater across the street from mount holyoke at midnight to see the opening of 'the two towers'. i don't think i was the only one in the theater who had a different set of towers on her mind. i remember being struck right through the heart near the end of the movie when theoden turns to aragorn and helplessly asks, \"what can men do against such reckless hate?\" i still don't know. i don't know what to do, and it scares me to admit that. i don't know what anyone can *do* that they shouldn't already be doing in the name of becoming more consicous and responsible citizens of the world.

i haven't yet read art spiegelman's book \"in the shadow of no towers\", but from the first time i heard the title it stuck with me. i didn't lose anyone on 9\/11. i don't even know anyone except in passing who did. but i still feel that way sometimes, like i'm living in that empty space of doubt and dread and terror. it's not every day. but it's often enough that when the anniversary comes around i still find myself rocked with grief and asking some hard questions i still don't have answers to, and i don't know if i ever will.

if you lost someone on september 11th, or if you've lost someone in the war, or if you're just someone like me who experienced that day as a reminder of everything you stand to lose-- my heart goes out to you.","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252484.html?view=comments#comments","category":["milestones","poetry","holy effusivity batman!","&in that moment i swear we were infinite","mhc","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252338.html","pubDate":"Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:38:24 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252338.html","description":"an actual update in the form of a list because that's about all my brain can handle right now. XD

+ been writing a lot, mostly fannish stuff but i'm getting in the habit of writing something just about every day, which is really a good habit to get into. even if it's just silly little drabbles, they're fun and it flexes my creativity muscles, which is never a bad thing.

+ have some really good plot going on TR that's making me insanely happy. especially the stuff with jon; it's been so, so, so long since i was genuinely jumping-out-of-my-seat excited about him, and i am SO fucking thrilled that i got my groove back (or his, lol). dropping edgar is going to suck, but it's the right decision. and fred, phedre and sandor are blissfully easy as always. phedre's going to get a weird EP next month, idk what it's going to be but i want to do something that's not just having her hang out in the compound or at the house. i am loving every single thread on fred's EP this month, and gilead homeplot has officially slain me with awesome.

+ making my friend's wedding dress is a stress bucket. i really love how it's coming out but i'm afraid she won't, idk, i know it's crazy since i'm following the design we agreed on, but fmeh. also time crunch; need to do a fitting this weekend and i'm not done tweaking some things yet... idk. i need to stop thinking about it, but that's difficult. >.>;;;

+ third appt w\/my counselor this week. i really like her; it's a different kind of focus than i'm used to, everything relating back to thought processes and stuff, but i can tell it's really going to help me. plus it's nice to have someone to talk to. :3

+ i do not know what to get <\/a>rinlage<\/b><\/a><\/span> for her wedding. :E the registry is a dangerous place because not only do i want to get *her* one of everything, i want to get *me* one of everything. someone propose to me please, so i can have a party where people buy me stuff for my kitchen. XD

+ it's getting to be autumn, the season of birthdays (3 of my friends, me and my grandmother all w\/in 6 weeks!) and leaves changing and halloween and everything i love best about living in new england. i'm so excited; i want to take a drive up to western MA in october sometime just to look at everything, because i know i'm really going to miss that. :3

that's it for now. i'm feeling really good about things, which is an awesome feeling to have, feeling like i'm mostly on top of my life and the things i'm not on top of, at least i'm getting there.

xoxo.","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/252338.html?view=comments#comments","category":["time for your happy pills miss","autumn","sewing","tabula rasa","writing","kthxrin","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251744.html","pubDate":"Wed, 05 Aug 2009 05:08:11 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251744.html","description":"flist, lend me your memories, and\/or your google-fu.

we got to talking about movies we'd loved in childhood and becky mentioned one where a kid got sucked into a vortex to another world through a greenhouse, wherein the flowers were actually people. she can't remember anything else about this movie, including the title, and it's driving her (and consequently the rest of us) totally insane. help, oh children of the eighties, if any of you can remember what this movie is. :\"D

also vacation is fucking amazing. see <\/a>sekala<\/b><\/a><\/span>'s lj for an update on what we've been doing. XD
<3","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251744.html?view=comments#comments","category":["lj","movies"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251471.html","pubDate":"Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:04:21 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251471.html","description":"hallo flist,

i come to you bearing music requests. :D i'm looking for a bunch of songs that i don't have and would like not to have to buy from itunes if i don't have to. these would be the following : \"seven nation army\" by the white stripes, \"that girl's a genius\" by jet, \"1901\" by phoenix, \"i know what i am\" by band of skulls, \"audience of one\" by rise against, and \"ghost town\" by shiny toy guns.

i'll be happy to upload something, anything, for you in exchange; i don't have a list of all my music but if you give me a few track names or an idea of what you like i'll toss up a few things. :\"D :\"D

in other news, VACATION IS IN TWO DAYS. oh my god, i'm so excited it's like passed the point where it's real to me. in case you need a refresher, i'm going here<\/a>, the appropriately named DRAGONWOOD CASTLE, with <\/a>ardavana<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>halfdreams<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>linaeloisetook<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>sekala<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>usually9_15<\/b><\/a><\/span>, for an entire fucking WEEK. while i'm there i'd like to read; you should all rec me a book now, one i can pick up at border's tomorrow and read while i'm sunning myself at my castle by the sea. (do you all want to stab me yet? ;D)

<3333333333
em

x-posted to both journals, sry if you see this twice!<\/small>","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251471.html?view=comments#comments","category":["books","tetcation","travel","maine","music","real life"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251295.html","pubDate":"Thu, 16 Jul 2009 03:25:07 GMT","title":"i'm on a (fail) boat","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251295.html","description":"goddammit this cold can fuck right off already. i have no energy for anything when i'm like this, and the fact that our router is making the internet only work in five-minute blocks with fifteen-minute blocks of no signal in between, is not aiding my motivation to stick around and tag.

saw half blood prince tonight. thoughts and squee later. i adored it, not that that should be a shock to anyone.

better post this before the internet cuts out again. sonofabitch.","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/251295.html?view=comments#comments","category":["internets","sick","hp","real life","movies"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250812.html","pubDate":"Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:17:43 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250812.html","description":"wow, what a fucking weekend.

epic post is epic, as befits what was essentially one of the best weekends\/trips\/events of my entire f'ing life to date. seriously, the amount of awesome that was squeezed into the past four and a half days is kind of mind-blowing.

driving to <\/a>douxquemiel<\/b><\/a><\/a>sekala<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>halfdreams<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>linaeloisetook<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>usually9_15<\/b><\/a><\/span> had already collected <\/a>lheena<\/b><\/a><\/span> and were waiting for us. sarah and i showed up and they were already in the hotel pool (amazing!). we swam for a bit and then headed out to dinner and a failed liquor store run-- for the record, google maps does NOT always know wtf it's talking about, as it sent us into a residential area in search of a package store. lol. lucky for us we already had booze and stuff back at the hotel, so after dinner night-of-drunkenness #1 commenced and we were up till 5:30. WIN. good drinks, good larp (sweet jesus christ, kirk and kara fucking scare the shit out of me with hilarity, sarah, in case i didn't flail enough at you already), good smoking conversations with steph, and general all-round awesomeness.

friday we got up, swam, then went to search out food at the burlington mall. and then... sigh... and then, dear friends, sarah brought me into lush for the first time. ahhhh. i have no words. except that naturally i'm fucking hooked, and so *fucking* pumped at the prospect of not having horrible 14-year-old acneface anymore. (for serious how did i miss out on that shit when i was ACTUALLY 14 but now am in the throes of it at 25?) i got the test box of skin stuff and 2 samples of face cleansers that i am sooooo excited about. of course, i left it at sarah's, which means i'm probably going to have to train up and get it back this weekend (damn fresh stuff going bad in three weeks) but whatevs. worth it! we picked up <\/a>smuxis<\/b><\/a><\/span> and nelle's roommate sae!sarah (wtf is her LJ? FAIL) along the way for extra awesomeness, and did more shopping. i went into 'second time around', this upscale-ish consignment clothing store, and got a kenneth cole bright-as-fuck-red dress for THIRTY GODDAMN DOLLARS. it was decided that i needed to wear it that day, so for dinner we all got dressed up and went out to the macaroni grill where we - literally - turned heads walking in. bunch of hot-ass bitches right here, goddaaaaamn! XD we again failed at the liquor store, but managed to get coffee before heading back to the hotel and partying again until like 2:30. POP ROCKS COCKTAILS FTW. also it was mentioned that bert will end up acting around spock like stupid tourists act around the guards outside buckingham palace, which is still making me lol when i think about it now three days later (and not only because i instantly pictured spock in a tall furry hat, i swear). ETA - also when lena was getting ready to leave, sae started to laugh and basically spit in her face. 'twas fucking hysterical.

saturday was kind of a low-key day-- swam, checked out, got lunch, went back to nelle's and just sort of vegetated for a while. nelle went to the clinic for her weird fever thing, the rest of us went shopping to do sekrit party things for squot's belated birthday party we were throwing, and when we came back there was a balloon-blowing-up extrazaganza. then wes and sarah came over and we did the party, and then we hung out until super late once again. wes and i had wicked bonding time, which was fucking fabulous, as i love that boy to death. we ran to a convenience store for cigarettes at like 11:30 and then spent an inordinate amount of time outside smoking and talking. it's been a long ass time since i felt this easy a connection to a guy, and it's awesome. i've missed having guy friends. :} he also brings jayne cobb like a boss, which doesn't hurt AT ALL. xDDDDD

sunday we went to brunch at johnny d's. grapefruit mimosa, oatmeal, blueberry pancake, eggs and hash browns-- OM FUCKING NOM NOM. then, food coma back at nelle's, played fluxx with sarah while play-doh was made in the kitchen, then sam steph and nelle took off for home and the rest of us settled in to watch the screener of star trek on nelle's humongous tv. that was awesome not least b\/c sarah and i still hadn't watched it together yet, so there was a ton of squee and laughing and general hilarity. also idk if i'm the only one who gets fond\/proud to see their canons affect someone else, but squot wept more than once and i was *absurdly* happy to see her love it so much. after that we watched asoue and iron man, which i napped during the middle of, and then woke up for a second wind of 2am chinese food leftovers. lulz. and i wonder why i had odd dreams? oh and, for the record, nobody at any point during all four days of this weekend got a hangover. we are all clearly made of insane amounts of win.

then yesterday was boston museum of science day, which was also absurd in its level of awesome. the walk in the rain from the galleria to the museum was epically wet and super fun, and the museum itself was incredible. i hadn't been since i was probably in high school, and it was just as awesome as i remember. sarah, nelle, squot and i just wandered around gleeing over everything-- the electricity show was wicked fucking awesome, just as i remembered it, and the mathematica room intrigued me beyond words-- probably could've spent 45 min in there alone. also the birds room was awesome, and the t-rex, and the . :3 then we went back to nelle's and watched resident evil 3 while nelle had her dentist appt (oh my god, <\/a>parallelstrand<\/b><\/a><\/span>\/<\/a>expendableasset<\/b><\/a><\/span> OTP FOREVER) and then went to sarah and wes's for pizza, wine, fluxx and more amazing conversation. i just love how well we all hang out together, all of us, and i fucking loved how chill last night was. going from pizza to poetry to \"oh shit watch this fanvid\" to politics to graphic design in the space of six hours-- fucking win, guys. seriously.<\/a>

and then this morning i got up after roughly 4 hours of sleep, drove nelle and squot back to nelle's place, and got myself from boston to cumberland in an hour to be on time to work, LIKE A FUCKING BOSS.<\/b> i left my leftovers so i have no lunch (bk ftw\/ftl, you decide) and i'm pretty much going to be dead by the time 5pm hits, but whatever. this weekend was so necessary.

....actually you could really sum up this entire post in six words. i fucking love my second family.<\/b>
goddam!<\/small>

<3

.....oh yeah. today\/tonight are for f'ing TAGGING, since i did, uh, NONE OF THAT while i was away. and reqs gotta get made, son.","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250812.html?view=comments#comments","category":["dress up","drfunk","boston","real life","weird science","tetcation","character stuff","travel","geeking","gratitude","&in that moment i swear we were infinite"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250502.html","pubDate":"Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:42:34 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250502.html","description":"THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW.



THAT IS ALL.


despite the fact i just found out that i don't work the week of june 29th b\/c the plant is shutting down.... that's not so awesome, but i'll make it work. might be broke for the entirety of july, but nothing i haven't handled before. :3 :3 :3<\/small>","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250502.html?view=comments#comments","category":["travel","work","holy effusivity batman!","boston"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250304.html","pubDate":"Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:55:48 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250304.html","description":"it figures, i haven't posted in ages and the first thing i put up is a meme. but it's a good one!

Give me a character from any fandom, TV show, movie, book you know that I know I've written and I will tell you:

a. My favorite thing about that character.
b. My least favorite thing about that character.
c. One person I would ship them with in their own verse.
d. One crossover ship for them I think would be neat.
e. One crossover universe for them I think would be even neater.
f. Their ship from hell.
g. Their song.
h. The title of their biography or autobiography.
i. The last bad dream they had.
j. How they're gonna shuffle off the mortal coil, if they haven't already.<\/i>

usual fandoms apply; check my icons\/interests if you're unsure, or just give me choices. i'm going to be packing tonight for my Weekend of Awesome(TM)<\/sup> so i'll need distractions-- also from the fact that my mother is currently sort of not speaking to me, or at least is very annoyed b\/c apparently despite the fact that this trip has been planned since OH I DON'T KNOW, FEBRUARY, she missed the memo that i was going to be away from thursday night to monday night-- and now is doing that \"you can afford to take time off work?\" thing at me. yes mom, yes i can, because my job fucking loves me and i can handle it. ugh. i mean sure i don't have as much money as i'd like to for the weekend, but i have ENOUGH-- like, i might be broke at the end of it, but wtf-ever, i have scheduled all my bills for the next three weeks and i'm totally fine, so, whatever.

i'm currently reading the court of the air<\/u> by stephen hunt and it is fucking OWNING me. gyah. oh steampunk, how do you manage to be so consistently awesome.

i got my hair cut short again for the first time in a year (holy crap, seriously, last time i had it cut short was june 27th last year) and i am SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT. it's funny that it was becky who convinced me i should cut it-- she said \"i feel about your hair the way i feel about starbuck's-- when it's long, it looks great and really pretty and feminine, but then she cuts it off and you're just like BAM, YEAH.\" -- and that's a direct quote, lol. it makes me laugh a) because she clearly knows the easy way to flatter me, and b) the irony, given how obsessed she is with being \"pretty\" -- but i guess she also knows me well enough to know that that's not an adjective i've ever given a shit about having applied to me, so, there you go. XD i feel pretty fucking badass with the new 'do though (see icon, lmao).

sigh. okay. time to eat something, and then to pack. my list is *prodigious*. :\"D

crossposted to dreamwidth<\/a>.<\/small>","comments":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/250304.html?view=comments#comments","category":["books","home","family","crosspost","boston","travel","memes","work","body image"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/249365.html","pubDate":"Wed, 27 May 2009 14:10:00 GMT","author":"killerbeautiful","link":"https:\/\/killerbeautiful.livejournal.com\/249365.html","description":"this post is NOT solely for the purpose of using this icon. promise. >.>

it's actually just a random \"whassup\" post, and since i feel like half my brain has been drowning in star trek lately, the icon is actually pretty appropriate.

THINGS.