And Relax

I am relieved, but I am not enthused. We've had 14 years of incompetence, cruelty, and corruption from the Tories, and Labour should be better than that, but Labour's official party stance on the EU, immigration, Gaza, unions, and trans rights gives me considerable pause.

Worse, the rise of R*form as a political force, while fatal for the Tories, is terrifying. I hoped that the British weren't that sort of people, but apparently about four million of them are.

I have muted hopes and low expectations, but it could -- and has for 14 long years -- be worse. Fingers crossed for better.

Politics = Comedy

While Channel 4 brought in Jimmy Carr to make the world a little bit worse with every word that staggered from his stupid face, the BBC's election coverage turned out to be full of presumably unintentional comedy gems. Here are some of my favourites.

"Where is Lembit Opik? Has he been killed?"

"You're not ruling out the possibility of getting into bed with Peter Mandelson?" - Jeremy Paxman, in front of Peter Mandelson.

"Let's isolate Scotland." -BBC presenter Jeremy Vine.

"The Queen is like Heineken lager; she reaches the parts others cannot reach." - a BBC political analyst.

"An asteroid has hit Lembit Opik!"

"Whatever type of Walls sausage is contrived by this great experiment, the dominant ingredient has got to be conservatism; the meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative." - Boris Johnson.

"The Queen can only be activated at certain times." - the "Heineken" analyst again.

Spades

Look, I'm no supporter of Gordon Brown, but if someone's whinging about "students" and "immigrants" ruining Britain, then guess what? Perhaps that person is indeed a bigot. That's not to excuse Brown, but let's not all act like he went mental and started insulting her for no reason.

What Kind of Hole?

I seriously doubt I'll vote for Labour this time around, but I have to give Gordon Brown credit for his response to David Cameron unveiling the Tory manifesto:

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said there was a "complete hole" in the Conservatives' plans.

Well played, Mr Brown, well played.