DAY EIGHT

I haven't been posting, mainly because nothing has changed for me. I am still skulking around my home, waiting to hear whether I am safe from elimination or will I be put out. I have sent applications in for various services, food stamps, and jobs. Waiting to hear back. I have not left to take advantage of Kenny's generous offer to drive me around in search of id, because I am terrified to come back to a lock on my door.

What I have been doing, is a lot of reading, and thinking.
There are soooooooo many people, stressed out and trying to make sense of the relief checks, angry about the low amounts their checks are, hoping that this next round of stimulus votes will change something for the better.
I get that, I do.
But as a nonperson, who will never qualify for any of these stimuli, I have the opportunity to look at this from a way different perspective. And it reminds me of Katrina.

After hurricane Katrina, the feds told us, "It's ok, stay calm. Be patient. We are working on it. Help is coming, we just need to sort out a few things."
Sound familiar?
I watched as thousands of people from the greater New Orleans area heeded these statements. Sat, waited. Had faith in fema, in our govt.
And we watched as New Orleans rotted.

Mississippi got hit bad by Katrina, too. They were told the same thing.
I watched, as town meetings sprung up in coastal Mississippi towns. People weren't waiting. Somebody stood up and said, "Hey y'all, I'm a licensed electrician!".
And another one stood and said, "I'm a general contractor!".
"Cool, I'm a plumber!"
"I'm a Mason!"
"I'm a landscaper!"
And they went, one by one, to each house, each business, each house of worship, each hotel... And rebuilt their town. Together. Without worrying about profits or losses, without waiting for fema money or govt say so. It was Their town. And they took it back.

We have an opportunity here, to learn from our fairly recent past. We can get creative. We can list our assets and our resources, our limitations and our capabilities, and we can come up with ways to sustain ourselves through this apocalypse. Maybe even thrive.

Or we can sit, and wait.




"The full details have yet to be released. But over the last 24 hours, the elements of the proposal have come into sharper focus, with $250 billion set aside for direct payments to individuals and families, $350 billion in small business loans, $250 billion in unemployment insurance benefits and $500 billion in loans for distressed companies.

The stimulus bill also has a provision that would block President Donald Trump and his family, as well as other top government officials and members of Congress, from getting loans or investments from Treasury programs in the stimulus, according to Minority Leader Chuck Schumer's office.

The package, if it passes Congress, would be the most significant legislative action taken to address the rapidly intensifying coronavirus crisis, which is overwhelming hospitals and grinding much of the economy to a halt.

Schumer called it "the largest rescue package in American history," in remarks on the Senate floor in the early hours of Wednesday morning. "This is not a moment of celebration -- but of necessity," he said."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/25/politics/stimulus-senate-action-coronavirus/index.html

There's so, so many people on facebook and twitter crying "Awwww, I can't get any relief money because I don't qualify for any of the thingys!" because they have been working under the table for twelve years and have never filed taxes in their lives.
Well.
I mean, what was y'all thinking?
I mean, I know what y'all were thinking, because I thought it too. You were thinking, well gorsh, there won't even be any social security by the time I'm eligible, so why pay into it now? I'm a rebel, I don't wanna live within the system... big government bad.. Etc. Etc.
So now there's a plague and you think that same system should carry you?
Look.

I know who I am. I made my choices a long, long time ago. And that's exactly what it is, a choice. I own the choice I made, even when it's inconvenient; because I decided way early on that it is worth it to me.
These people chose to be out and that's exactly where they are right now: Out.
[Btw, this is exactly the difference between Democracy and Socialism, for all you maga morons out there rage-screaming and getting it all wrong]
If they want to be taken care of next time there is a crisis they need to quit their gig jobs and start greeting people at fucking walmart. Or, they need to pull up and start thinking of creative (and hopefully helpful) ways to sustain themselves until we are all free to face the world again. In other words, y'alls chickens have come home to roost.

This is not an easy way of it. Trust me, I know. And it gets harder every year. But you can't just sit there waiting like a bunch of damsels to be rescued. You gotta start thinking. Accept where you are in the in the big picture, and especially understand what you are to Them, the System.. a needy outsider, who is asking for scraps at a family table that's already short a bunch of meals.

Y'all wanted this. Well now guess what? It's yours.
You can let that drag you under, or you can perceive it as the success that it is and continue to be successful, and own it.
It's your choice.

DAY FOUR

Scrambled around most of the day, packing, clearing, stressing out. Sure that any minute now, They were gonna come put a lock on my door. Missed the trip to the id place. Finally I tracked down the mgr, who was very vague and dismissive. Well I'm sorry.. ! I didn't mean to ask you things that would require an answer. Heavens forbid anybody should require you to, you know, actually do your job...
I tried hitting up the website of the Southeastern Louisiana Legal Service. I learned that one cannot contact a human being just to ask them some questions (like, can the owner of a hotel kick out long term residents during an emergency rent freeze situation). One has to actually submit a request for legal assistance, and name names. And then, it still takes between 2-5 days for them to email back. Which would be too late.

On the news, Mayor Cantrell issued a mandatory stay at home order. All nonessential businesses closed, or face fines and risk losing licences. So of course now I'm worried about whether the id place is an essential business or not.
I packed, I cleaned.
I ordered a pizza with Google Pay money.
I booked a reading for Sunday.
And then, my friend Elaina, one of my oldest and dearest, added $200 to my Gofundme. Holy fuckshit! Then I guess she must have shared my Gfm because a woman I don't even know put in $50.. I could actually pay my rent, providing the mgr would wait until Gfm completes the withdrawal process, which now is saying the 28th. Guess I'll try to speak with him again tomorrow.
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DAY THREE

Ventured out into the world for the first time since it all went pear shaped. First to the passport office to find out what could be done for my id situation. Of course I didn't get a new passport. But the lady was niceand gave us a few valuable leads. While we were waiting Kenny looked up this car title place he knows, a satellite location for state ids. I left my information with the lady and was told she would have somebody call or email later in the day. Progress, perhaps.

Driving back from downtown we discussed my options. It was decided that I would attempt to speak with the building manager about the rent freeze, and if it didn't work with them then I would go stay with Ken and his wife, until a better option presented itself. Just knowing I had a fallback took about a ton of stress off of me.
We drove to this -I kid you not- enormous ass warehouse deep in Hollygrove, that sells nothing but boxes. Cardboard boxes of every conceivable size and dimension. And bubble wrap. And packing supplies. But gigantic box warehouse. I can't even with the completely random yet essential shit that Kenny just knows. Anyway, we bought some boxes.

Back to my room, I attempted to make contact with the building manager, who was nowhere to be found. I sent him a text message. (He still hasn't gotten back to me)
The woman from the id place called back, and said that as long as my name is in their system, I should not have any trouble getting a replacement id. Oh joy!
We decided I would be moving on from this toxic dumpster fire of a hotel.

Dare I say, things is sho lookin' up.

DAY TWO

Woke up feeling slightly better. Between Gofundme, my cash on hand, and two tentative weekend appointments for readings, it looked like I had rent covered. At least for the week. I figured it would buy me some time. Maybe I could set up a few days. Maybe one of the assistance thingys would be released.
Looking through the news, I saw another article about a freeze on evictions in the city, which inspired me to begin paging through the bowels of the municiple websites, searching for anything that could tell me whether the fact that I've been living in a hotel for two years includes me in the protection or not.
About 10:30 there was a knock on my door. It was a guy from the office, coming to ask me if I was going to be paying my rent. I told him I had been paying on Fridays, and that I was trying to get my rent together. He left, to "go tell them" and once again I was struck with The Terror.
My situation is so shaky it's registering seismic activity.

That's about when an ollllld friend messaged me, to ask me what's up. I wound up going to his place for dinner and we discussed all of my wtf. He decided that, as a first step, he is going to take me around to city offices, to see if we can get me some type of id. He dropped me off home, feeling more relaxed and hopeful than I have in almost a week.

Before I could get into my room, the building's security/maintenance dude came over to me. We chatted about whatever, and then I asked him if he knew what the hotel was doing in terms of their long term residents. He shrugged, and replied, "Well, it is a hotel, so..."
He suggested I just "go and talk to them", shrugged again, and wandered off to chat with some other guy.
Oh hey, there's that Terror again.

So I went inside and sat down. Took a few deep breaths, and checked to see if my Gofund me donations had been withdrawn to my debit card yet.
The good news is that it had. Boy, they sure do take a chunk though. The amount to be withdrawn is about ten dollars less than the amount of donations. But ok.
The other news.... Well, when I tapped to see when the funds would be uploaded to my debit card... It said March fucking 26th.
What the absolute shit.
March fucking 26th...
I have to use that money to pay rent on Friday. Information says there's nothing they can do to speed it up.

So now I'm back to The Terror.
I'm trying real hard not to manifest negative energy. But I'm strongly feeling like I'm not gonna be able to make this work.

So far, I have to say, this apocalypse is really starting to suck.

ETA:
So here's a neat little fuck you from facebook. A friend just tried to use facebook pay, and I couldn't receive the funds because facebook won't transfer it to a prepaid visa. The same visa I've used ON facebook numerous times to donate to charities.
Rot in hell, Zuck.
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"We can now read the report on COVID-19 that so terrified every public health manager and head of state from Boris Johnson to Donald Trump to the dictator of El Salvador that they ordered people to stay in their houses. I read it yesterday afternoon and haven't been the same since. I urge everyone to read it, but maybe have a drink first, or have your family around you. It is absolutely terrifying. ( Read more...Collapse )

https://www.axios.com/coronavirus-report-us-uk-strategies-e45bc5d4-d2f1-40e2-825e-429b2b7c1b50.html
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Many times I have thought about reactivating this journal. For one reason or another I always got distracted.
I love this place. It got me through a lot of dark patches. It was a lifeline during and after Katrina madness. So it seems only appropriate to pick it back up now, in light of this new Apocalypse we got.


DAY ONE

So last night, all the bars, casinos, gyms, and museums in the city were ordered to close. Restaurants may remain open, but only for take out or delivery. All festivals have been cancelled or postponed. All public and private gatherings of more than 10 people have been banned.
The national guard is here. People are being encouraged to stay in their homes.
All this happened almost a week sooner than they said it would. Now they are saying it's likely to lastu-j- at least six weeks longer than the original two they first predicted.
The working class, the service and entertainment industries, we're all freaking the fuck out.

Like a good girl, I spent the last week working long hours, buying up my share of cat food, toilet paper, beans, medicines, and assorted groceries -theoretically, enough to last two weeks-, and diligently watching news report after news report; ooh-ing and tsk-ing in all the right places. Watching, from a Social Distance, as more and more people fell ill. It's what you do.
Yesterday I learned that two of my friends from The Game, one in Canada and one in Iran, had come down with it. I did up a blue healing candle and blessed it, not only for the two of them, but for us all. I sat, reading story after story about Italy and Spain, deteriorating but going out singing together from balconies, in beautiful harmony. And applauding when the health officials passed through. The UK going down, spent way too long implementing the very least of precautionary measures, denying people with beginning stage symptoms access to care. Attempting to achieve "herd immunity"... and then denying it after it proved to be horribly dangerous. There is no "mild case" of this virus, apparently.

This morning I woke up with The Terror. I meant to go out to work, to try for one more day. But shit was wrong. It was bad, and everybody I touched base with during my coffee was feeling it too. The news was full of more restrictions, more closures. More cases. Reports of total desolation in the Quarter, and rumors of people being intimidated into evactuating the area. I grabbed my cards, spread myself out a reading on the day. The cards just shrugged at me, said, "Man, fuck if we know what to tell you. We feel the shit too, but damned if we know what to do."
I decided it would be wise to start up a gofundme. No telling when or if any of this proposed relief money was ever gonna be released, or if I would be able to receive any, what with my woefully underdocumented status as a nonperson. I also began to book some phone readings for later in the week. After a few hours I started to feel like maybe I wouldn't wind up homeless from all of this after all.
That's when Facebook started going bonkers.
My Gofundme, which I had posted to my timeline, and mentions the virus, was flagged as "spam". So were dozens of articles from reputable news sources. People started posting scathing rants, and within a couple hours, articles about "algorithmic glitches" began to surface. The conspiracy theorists jumped into the fray, with articles of their own, "Isn't It Interesting" that it only seems to be virus stories getting quashed... Almost as if "Somebody" didn't want you to share this information.... Shit had me going crosseyed. Slowly but showly most of the posts -including my Gofundme- turned back up, restored. And all was well with the eschaton again.

Tomorrow I might try and grab some more supplies at the Dollar store on Airline Hwy. Right now, I need some rest.
Fuck, I wish I had better shoes.

It's been a long damned time, elljay.

...a medley of my LJ userpics that seem relevant to my feelings:






Gee I wonder who's gonna go in his place to the mardi gras... hee.

The following from articles in Wikipedia and the CDC.
alobar, based upon my symptoms whenever I am in your house for longer than an hour, I estimate the CO levels in your house hover between 400-800 ppm.
Cut for length.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon_monoxide_poisoning

( Wikipedia ExcerptsCollapse )


Source: http://www.cdc.gov/co/faqs.htm

( CDC ExcerptsCollapse )
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