[

mood

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meh

]

Name? Jess
Age? 18
Do you cut? Yes.
Who knows about it? My best friend, Li.
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? Once, just recently.
Where do you usually cut? Arms. Legs.
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Li
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? Just kept bleeding. I panicked. Called my aunt. Luckily, she was dense enough that she bought my BS story.
Do you have a fascination with scabs? Not really.
Do you like scars, yes or no? Yes.
Do you name your razor? Eh, no.
What other methods of SI do you use? Burn every once in a bit. But only if I can't get at a razor.
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? Doesn't bother me.
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? Long sleeves and pants.
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? Nope. Scars are easy to excuse away. It's when you have fresh cuts mixed in that there could be a problem. But most of the time, you don't even have to worry. People don't see what they don't want/care to.
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? Nope.
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? I had to try dresses on for my aunt's wedding and it left my arms exposed. But, as always, the people in my family bought another one of my excuses.
What's the best part about cutting to you? Just all of it. The pain. Blood. Release. Comfort.
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? A few. Well, at least I take them to be about SI.
What instrument do you use to cut? A razor, preferrably, but I'll use whatever's around.
What causes you to cut? Stress. Memories. My family.
What do you feel afterwards? Calm. In control. Tired.
What is your closest Close Call? I dunno.
How long have you been doing it? Five years. but the first four were nothing. It's been in the last that it's gotten nasty.
Do you keep a razor in your bag? In my shoe. My car.
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? Yes, but I didn't get them. Now I've got quite a nasty scar.
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? As of two months ago. It's actually not so bad. She's not trying to make me stop or anything. When I'm ready to, I can. And she doesn't look down on me or anything. So, it's alright.
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? Not that I am awre of.

[

mood

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Desperate

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Why do I want to do it again? Why is the urge still there? The want to bust open that shaver and slice my arm again and again and again and again until I'm drowning in my own disease.

I am as happy as I have ever been in my entire life, I've moved out of my house, with my best friend...I have a boyfriend who actually loves me, loves me...and I still want to cut open my life and bleed away what's left of me. Maybe I feel I need to get rid of the old, sad residue of my past life. My depressing, no-point life that was so redundant and tedious and down-right maddening that I could barely stand it. I think I can still feel it moving through my veins....it wants to be free. To flow out of my arm, down pale white skin and soak into the towel/bed sheets/clothes/floor. There is so much evil and sin rushing through these veins...squirming to get out like maggots beneath my flesh, raw and fresh, ready to become part of the bigger picture.

Should I succumb, against everyone's wishes? Place that blade against this old scarred arm?

This is so hard...

I love him, but I love this.

Help me.

heartxstitch

[

mood

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content

]

Name? S.
Age? Twenty
Do you cut? Not as often as I use to.
Who knows about it? Everybody with common sense.
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? Yes, you could say that.
Where do you usually cut? Thigh, ankles, and chest.
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Nobody anymore.
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? Stitches. Also having to explain to a nurse what happened. I was an adult, legally. So they didn't fight with the "I got in a fight with a weed-whacker" excuse.
Do you have a fascination with scabs? No.
Do you like scars, yes or no? Yes.
Do you name your razor? No.
What other methods of SI do you use? I bruise myself. I'm a chain smoker. I also self medicate with whiskey, pot, and benzodiazepines.
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? No.
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? I don't run around naked. I don't harm my arms so it's usually not an issue.
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? It's not possible to hide my past wounds.
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? Yes.
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? I don't attend high school. When I did I was banned from the locker room. It was never really an issue.
What's the best part about cutting to you? It's calming. It also puts me to sleep.
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Yes.
What instrument do you use to cut? Double edged razors.
What causes you to cut? Anger mostly.
What do you feel afterwards? Tired and guilty.
What is your closest Close Call? I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "close call".
How long have you been doing it? Six or seven years.
Do you keep a razor in your bag? Yes.
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? Yes.
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? Not anymore.
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? General Anxiety Disorder and (Rapid) Bipolar Disorder with Mania induced Psychosis.

_ugly_days

[

mood

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tired

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( newbieCollapse )

[

mood

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cold. how ironic.

]

( Getting to know me.Collapse )

smiley1305

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mood

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pissed off

]

Well I have new person I totally adore, she has changed my life for the better. She is my Friend's mom, she is our new admissions person at school and since she is there every day, and doesn't have to teach a class I can always come to talk her, I love her to death. She is like my new best friend. She has been through a lot of heard she, first she was really really sick and had to be in the hospital, then she was in a car wreck and tore a tendon in her leg, so please keep her in your thoughts mor me will ya...
That's about it....
GRR.... little pissed off.... at the mother >;(

a_dubb

[

mood

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aggravated

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Name? Angela

Age? Somewhere between 18 and 19

Do you cut? Yes.

Who knows about it? My boyfriend.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? Yes, three times.

Where do you usually cut? My stomache, my legs and my arms.

When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? The boyfriend.

What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? My job, and people asking awkward questions.

Do you have a fascination with scabs? When I get one, I like to pick at it.

Do you like scars, yes or no? I think scars are "souviners you never lose." They are beautiful.

Do you name your razor? No.

What other methods of SI do you use? Cutting and burning

Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? No.

What various ways do you use to hide cuts? I used to put foundation over my scars and wear long sleeved shirts and long pants to hide the fresh cuts.

Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? I used to. Not anymore, tho.

Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? Yes. When I was thirteen, I spent three months in a mental ward for trying to kill myself.

Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? No.

What's the best part about cutting to you? The release.

Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Jack Off Jill's Strawberry Gashes

What instrument do you use to cut? Anything that will get the job done.

What causes you to cut? Discomfort, anxiety, panic attacks, boredom,

What do you feel afterwards? Comfort.

What is your closest Close Call? When I was thirteen and had to go to the mental ward. I cut my wrist open.

How long have you been doing it? Since I was nine. I cut my face really badly one day, right under my eye. I still have the scar from it.

Do you keep a razor in your bag? No, I keep it in my wallet.

Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? Yes.

Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? No. I don't feel the need to pay someone to be my friend and listen to my problems.

Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? I have plenty of disorders. I'm bi-polar and I have ADD

smiley1305

[

mood

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uncomfortable

]

Name? Mack (Mackenzie)
Age? 17
Do you cut? yes
Who knows about it? Parents (sometimes) Sharon, Jeniffer, DeNice, that's about it I think
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? not really
Where do you usually cut? forearm, thigh
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Sharon
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? I don't know
Do you have a fascination with scabs? sort of, I like to pick at them
Do you like scars, yes or no? yup
Do you name your razor? no
What other methods of SI do you use? scratch, burn,
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? never really thought about it
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? sleves, put them in weird unseen spots, bandaides
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? not really
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? nope
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? when it gets hot, and changing for volleyball
What's the best part about cutting to you? it puts my inside pain into unsaid words and it always the inside "pressure" to eacpae
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Strawberry Gashes (jack of Jill)
What instrument do you use to cut? razor, safety pins
What causes you to cut? anger, pain, torture, hurt
What do you feel afterwards? relieved and ashaimed
What is your closest Close Call? being walked in on. when I thought no one as home, and cutting too deep, and using about 3 bandaides
How long have you been doing it? about 3 years
Do you keep a razor in your bag? I keep one in my car, and one in my room
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? nope
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? yup, Sharon, Amy and Jeniffer, plus Denice
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? depression, and Social introvertion

[

mood

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indescribable

]

Name? Marilyn
Age? 13
Do you cut? yes
Who knows about it? parents, most of my skool thankx to one of my friends that I thought i could trust
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yes
Where do you usually cut? inner part of my arms, wrist, legs, upper thighs
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? My cousin that im really close to or my one of my friends bc they check my arms from time to time
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? With a cut it would be it got infected and it reopened n wouldnt close for awhile.
Do you have a fascination with scabs? not really
Do you like scars, yes or no? yes
Do you name your razor? no
What other methods of SI do you use? hitting, scratching, burning, cutting and rarely pulling hair
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? its ok
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? bracelets, sweatshirts, watch, n other jewlery
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? no
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? Ive been in and out of IOP (Intensive Out Patient) n threatened to be sent to a hosp.
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? mostly from my theripist since she checks me evry time i see her
What's the best part about cutting to you? Its my only exscape from life
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Last resort-papa roach
What instrument do you use to cut? razor blades, box cutters, glass sometimes and knives
What causes you to cut? Various reasons
What do you feel afterwards? numbness, sometimes relief, regret, and shame
What is your closest Close Call? not sure wut that is
How long have you been doing it? a year in oct.
Do you keep a razor in your bag? yes
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? yes
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? Not that I know of

_empty_scars

[

mood

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confused

]

okay.. i've got a question for.. like.. i dunno, anyone i need to get opinions from people besides those who are like.. really close to me and kinda have a hazed view on things.. it's gonna be kinda long-ish cause i'm gonna do some explanationy stuff soo i'm gonna do an LJ-cut deal.

( Read more...Collapse )

_empty_scars

[

mood

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blah

]

( Read more...Collapse )

muzai_tenshi

[

mood

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angry

]

I don't remember if I ever posted so I'm going to post now, yeah...

Name? Star
Age? 15
Do you cut? yeah
Who knows about it? my parents, a few friends
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? no
Where do you usually cut? my wrist and leg
When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? my best friend who is also my blood sister
What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? the stinging from using an old razor
Do you have a fascination with scabs? yes
Do you like scars, yes or no? yes
Do you name your razor? only one
What other methods of SI do you use? just cutting, sometimes overdoses
Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? no
What various ways do you use to hide cuts? bracelets, sometimes cover up but that was only once
Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? no
Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? no, but I've been threatened
Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? no, I always keep my bracelets on, if not I wear a jacket
What's the best part about cutting to you? seeing the blood run and the scars left behind
Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Waste by Staind
What instrument do you use to cut? razor
What causes you to cut? various reasons
What do you feel afterwards? contentment
What is your closest Close Call? I dunno
How long have you been doing it? since Jan/Feb don't remember
Do you keep a razor in your bag? yeah, and in one of my bracelets
Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no
Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? no
Do you have any other disorders not associated with SI? obsessive compulsive disorder and bipolar

so now you know all about me, well all about my cutting, hope you enjoyed it