I can totally relate to Sally before she came back. I've been through family conflict trauma, with lots of unslept days of battle. Trying to find even an hour of sleep during christmas to new year battle with knife in hand. My older brother drug and porn addict, my both parents total alcoholics.
At the same time I was bullied in elementary school and more than bullied in middle school. 1v10 I would say.
I went into sex working once at 17 then a few times at 18 but my conservative mind told me to develop skills and don't do it just to live like a vegetable, but to grab an oportunity and leave it as soon as possible. I had boundaries that I only do blowjob and maybe receive one. Nothing less, nothing more. 2 years later (1 year after high school) I started to earn the same money per hour as technician as I did for blowjobs. I followed paths of stoicism and taoism. Nothing can hurt me anymore, even breakup with the girlfriend I got at 19yrs who saved me from my family and will help me create a new one. Still, I sometimes desire going an easy path of getting money through sex or getting transitioned and live like I always wanted to, but then I realize, repent and leave, knowing that it's a fake temptation. Now I begin to heal my family, but I know it's a long path. Probably will never happen, but there is always hope
I also remember having same kind of emotional reactions at 6-12 years of age as you did in being grossed out and all or wanting more and more sugar. My brother also did but through his whole life (he is 30+ now). It always crosses my mind. My reaction was beating myself with full power or scrathing myself to blood, not leaving my body. Learn and improve. Reject fake emotionally enslaved freedom of action that average mind implies on you, embrace real freedom. Freedom of thought and thoughtful actions
That is my advice to you and anyone who maybe skipped this in life. Study at least 100h of philosophy, especially classical greek, roman, chinese books and then practice it for life