I've been asked how the con was, and I figured I should probably write up a con report since I didn't have time afterwards to do a video round up with any of the CB crew like I did with Fan Expo. So I'll break it down day by day for you peeps. This is just my personal opinion, no disrespect to anyone involved. Over all I had a good time, but that had very little to do with the convention itself...

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Friday
Friday was the last day of my exams, and unfortunately my time for writing my Canadian Lit got bumped from 1230 to 330. I was not happy. It would now mean I'd miss the majority of the con for that day, seeing as I had promised Ally I'd go to the swimsuit contest as Ivy to support her (She was entering in a Harley swimsuit she had made). So I write my exam and get out around 5. Took a while to drive down, and then there was a mix up on where I was meeting my friends so they could help me into my corset. By the time we were all ready it was time for the contest, and we had to book it. Luckily no one cared we were late. I met with the other judges, talked with the two voice actors that were guest judging as Ally went off and prepped as a contestant. Izzy was in the audience with our other friend Reg.

The contest went well, a lot of really good competitors, some I knew and some I didn't. When it came to the end and we had to pick a winner, I let the other judges talk first since I was well aware that one of my best friends was competing, and although I thought she did great, I didn't want any hint that the contest was rigged, or she was picked because she was obviously with me and my crew. But thankfully I'm not just a big biased ho-bag and the others suggested her because of her ability to stay in character through all the mishaps and stupid bitches trying to bring her down.

Explaination:
During her talent Ally got nervous and forgot the lines to her song and had to pause. Through out this she remained in character, with full voice/accent and joked even though I knew she was sweating on the inside. She did good, and eventually was able to finish rather well. Second mishap happened during the Q&A session. A girl I am unfamiliar with broke the jovial mood by asking "What's with your accent? Have you ever been to Brooklyn? They don't sound like that." The room went silent. Ally struggled a bit, keeping the accent up as she attempted to answer the question in a kind/funny way. I was annoyed, and one of the amazing powers given to me as a judge is a microphone, so I intervened because I am less nice. I usually pride myself on being a very accepting individual when it comes to all fandoms and fans, but I didn't like such a blatant attempt to put someone else down publicly, especially when it was being directed at my friend. So I asked her how old she was and questioned if she was even old enough to be in that panel room (swimsuit contest is 18+) if she had never watched the B:TAS from the 90's. Now here's the kicker.... she replied "I'll be 26 tomorrow, but I've never been into Marvel." I laughed and said "Bitch that shit is DC, who sent you?" One of the voice actors also chimed in and called her an idiot and the whole panel room booed her for this very very bad mistake. This furthered my belief that you can be a well loved ass (like myself) but you need to be a smart ass. Know your shit or keep you mouth shut. Ryan also pointed out that Harley's accent isn't Brooklyn based since it's Gotham. Harley and the other Joker goons have a very distinct dialect I think is loosely based on Long Island.

In the end Ally got first place as Judges' Favorite, with our other friend Marc winning Audience Favorite for his E.Honda. Many pictures were taken and everyone was in a good mood at the end. I met some awesome people like Britany Quinn and Jesse of Undiscovered Photography and Rion Risque, an awesome cosplayer that everyone should check out on FB. I also walked away with a prize. Turns out Marc had the box set he was given a long with a trophy so he gave it to me because I had wanted to see Rosario Vampire. I'll watch it soonish, promise ;3

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Saturday
Saturday started out stressful, dealing with parking downtown and trying to figure out costume etc. I had made changes to my Jade that I was pleased with, though over all I know it still needs more work. It doesn't seem to photograph well. Thought due to the combined exhaustion of both Con and and exams I don't think I photographed well this con at all. For the first time in my life I was able to wear contacts to add to one of my costumes and people loved them.
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I got many compliments and freaked out a few tourists. As a cosplayer I don't really care about being in costume around people/normies. And if you do care about that sort of thing AR isn't a con for you, it's right next to a main cruise ship port and it's right in the middle of tourist season. So if you're shy or uncomfortable about all that, you're fucked. Try and keep that in mind if you ever decide to do AR. Anyway, back to the con, we wandered aimlessly, checking stuff out and saying hi to friends. Eventually we made our way back to take a short break. By the time we came back, it was almost time for the Origa concert, something that Izzy really wanted to attend. We ended up waiting in the wrong line due to a confusing system and when we went to try and get in the con staff were happy to oblige but the center staff refused us, stating that the concert was at capacity, and we'd have to wait in the alt line, back in the giant room of lines in case people left. Here's the thing, people were leaving as we were standing there, but there was no one being brought from the room of lines 3 whole conference rooms away. We also could see that the concert room only had a small crowd of maybe 50-70 in it, despite the fact the room had housed over 300 for the opening ceremony. So we walk back to the hall of lines and see people that had been waiting for the concert for hours before. We then get pissed off at the whole thing and debate going to an after party/event at EXP. In the end we stayed and after center staff was gone the con staff let us in to to catch the last third of the concert.
After that we decide to go to the "That 70's Anime Dating Game" panel being held by someone I knew from previous cons and mutual friends. All was good, it was a little bland compared to the riotus 18+ panels my crew (now joined by Jacob of Hentai Cupcake) is used to, but we had fun heckling, and on the second to last contestant I was chosen as a bachelorette. There were a few amusing quirks. Another cosplayer I know through mutual friends was picked as another bachelorette and during her intro her skirt rode up and a dude was panty shotting her, so I sat in her lap and tried to pull it down, but I think she thought I was trying to grab her awkwardly.... So that was odd, but no harm no foul.
Here's the part that gets a little shady. The guy re-enters and sits without seeing us, as per the rules. Apparently he had been a contestant last year, and proceeded to bash the girl he had chosen the year previous. First asking one of the hosts if that girl was in the room, which she promptly replied no. He insulted her breasts and her body, saying extremely disgusting things that did little to impress me and my girls. Needless to say I was annoyed and no longer gave two shits if this guy chose me. There was a question that was basically a lead in to having him grope any body part on us. I wasn't feeling particularly accommodating after his display so I took his hand and twisted it till I heard it crack repeatedly, pretending to be in character as Jade... Really I just didn't want some asshole touching me. If I had known I would have called Jacob up and had him thrust on him. After that the guy was rather adamant that contestant 2 (me) would not win. I wasn't exactly saddened by the news.
After the panel and through the Sunday I did have a few people approach me to say they were glad I had done it, that they had been enjoying the panel up until him, but he had taken it too far when he had bashed some girl that wasn't even there to defend herself. I agreed and told them that I hope it wouldn't detour them from going to that panel in the future, since the contestants change every time.
After that was another one of Hentai Cupcake's panels where they told con stories from their many adventures. It was fun and I was given some of Jeff's cider which is always amazingly yummy. Jon also gave me some sort of other alcoholic beverage I will not name that tasted like candy. Also good. The panel was very amusing, and afterwards I got to meet Miranda, another awesome new friend!
After that we (my crew, Jacob and Miranda) all headed down to the rave, only to find that center staff were pulling the same shit they had done with the concert. In the same massive room there was maybe 70-100 people, while a whole, snaking line up of con kids waited to hopefully get in. Lucky for us, Rion was hype dancing for one of the DJ's and she walked us all through so we didn't have to wait. Much thanks to her, I hate line ups.

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Sunday
Sunday was filled with photoshoots and not much else. We dressed as the Gotham City Sirens for the DC/Marvel Shoot put on by VanGeeks. We got called up, we posed, we talked etc. Unfortunately AR 2013 had been plagued with thefts. Several people at the shoot had their cellphones and wallets taken. Ally's badge was stolen which she was upset about because she had wanted to keep it, but registration gave her a wristband for the rest of the day so she wouldn't be denied access to anywhere. Caitlin had her phone stolen and had to go through the hassle of getting a hold of telus on a Sunday to report it. In the end Jacob and Jon gave them their panelist passes since they were leaving so Caitlin was a least able to go enjoy the dealers room with the rest of us despite having not bought a pass. We went and did shoots with Watermark Visuals, Masamune Captures and Undiscovered Photography, all of which were fun and I'm excited to see. Izzy, Ally, Caitlin and I then went to Maruko for some delicious ramen, and overall perfect end to the con.

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Over all the con was alright, though I'm considering skipping it for a different one next year. Maybe PAX or Cos&Effect, unless i end up as a panelist which also might happen.
The next con for me will probably be AkiCon in October. After a 2 year hiatus from it, I'm excited to go back, since it used to be one of my fav cons of the year. Until then kids, love you and I'll see you around ;)
Updated the groove list.

Chu,
Brit

Posted on FB
Brittney: Things I learned in speculative fiction...
If there's ever an apocalypse, fuck hoarding water, hoard condoms
(this is in response to us reading the short story 'Speech Sounds' by Octavia Butler from the book 'Bloodchild and Other Stories')
Skye: straight girl problems

continued in text messages
Britt: What if it's a nuclear apocalypse and you survive but you grow like a siamese twin that's straight and lonely. Then you'll want some condoms but you won't have any because i'll have made a fort out of them and you're not invited.
Britt: it will have a mote. you're missing out
Britt: Alligators
Skye: Keep your condom fort I'll have a cozy brothel and you're not invited! There!
Skye: And by brothel I mean harem, because i'm not sharin' em
Britt: I hope your siamese twin gets pregnant and the baby is evil like in xena warrior princess
Britt: your siamese twin is Gabrielle
Skye: I hope she destroys your condom fort in a fit of radioactive rage
Skye: Let's not bring xena into this :O
Britt: I wanted to reference something homoerotic enough I would be sure you'd know about it
Britt: something with an evil baby
Skye: you brilliant jerk!
Britt: That's the title of my autobiography
Britt: i'm totes gonna thrive. like tina turner in that mad max movie i never watched
Skye: "The people demand a condomocracy!"
Britt: How would you know what the people demand? Your people don't use condoms
Skye: Yeah but i'll still be there inciting the rioters
Britt: They won't listen. They'll be too desperate for condoms and beer. i'll also be hoarding beer
Britt: which I don't drink, but will have anyway because everyone else will be too busy collecting canned food.
Skye: so you'll have no food, but you'll be down to party? haha
Britt: i can use the beer as a conversation piece in my condom fort. the conversation will be "do you want some berr? well you can't have any, it's mine. get out of my fort!"
Skye: some handy lumberjack lesbian in my harem will build a distillery in no time.
Britt: your siamese twin is going to be unhappy and pregnant with evil xenas
Skye: Well miss that is on your conscience!
Britt: that's what the beer is for

so with my new semester i was able to get into a second year creative writing course that specializes in speculative fiction (scifi, fantasy... all that good stuff). i'm not going to go into detail because fuck that's boring.... but for my first assignment i handed in a rewrite of ghost, for my second assignment i decided to play with another novel idea i had, but it ended up going in a completely new direction, which i liked. so enjoy guys :)

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this was my take on a super hero story, a little watchmen-esque as i see it because it's not exactly portraying them in society positively, or being accepted unconditionally. but i was always a sucker for a dystopia XD
haven't gotten reviewed on it yet, but we shall see how it goes...

Chu,
Britt

seems like and odd time to be thinking about this, what with all the talk about self esteem and what not, but it's on my mind so i might as well take a public poll... just kidding. recently i've been given the chance to get 2 moles on the side of my nose, and the birthmark on my cheek removed. most people don't even notice the birthmark unless i'm not wearing any make-up, and when they do finally see it there's a plethora of odd reactions. some i know feel weird/bad that they had never noticed it before. lol like it's some weird not paying attention fault of theirs, and then they get awkward because apparently never noticing a small mark on my face makes them a horrible person. other people assume it's acne or a scratch of some kind and ask me what happened, which always makes me laugh. and then they get all embarrassed when i tell them i was born with it. to be specific, just so people who have never noticed it before, it's not red or anything. it's a freckle cluster. according to my mother, she said to take care of the 2 on my nose first. getting rid of them would be more for medical reasons, which why i can do it for free. canadian healthcare system... they're changing shape, especially the ones on my nose. starting to be a bit of a bump, and when that happens, you're supposed to get them removed/biopsied. like i know it's not for aesthetic reasons, but it's still something that'll alter my appearance, so i feel a little weird about it.
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registered for next semester. i have intro into earth science, philosophy critical thinking, history of canadian art and culture, and i'm waitlisted for studies in children's literature. this semester has been really hard on me. psych and anthropology have been kind of kicking my ass. i hate that i have to take all these bullshit courses. i don't understand why... i don't like social sciences, at all. i'm a hermit, i don't care about people. so i don't get the point of being forced to take all these courses i could give two shits about. tribes people can eat each other and trade cows for teenage girls all they like, i don't see what that has to do with me wanting to study english literature. pain in the ass...
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sooooo channing tatum used to be an exotic dancer.... and magic mike is based in part on his life. i know that should disgust me, considering the fact male strippers and wiggly man junk scares the shit out of me (not a lesbian, i just don't find penises or vaginas particularly attractive pieces of anatomy). but i can't stop giggling. dear john, gi joe? yeah that was fun, but now let's make a movie about my life as a male stripper! brilliant... i applaud you mr. tatum. updated the groove list.

Chu,
Brit

so i was going to post to my journal earlier, but lj has been down for a few days to the best of my knowledge. the main point i'm trying to make is that i tried... i tried to blog for you guys. i've been reading, doing homework and working a little on cosplay for the past two days since i have sunday and monday off. i have discovered that frog tape doesn't stick to rubber latex, and neither does any other tape. so i was a little fucked on the lilith wings. i'll have to paint them by hand which is a huge pain in the ass. esp since i already bought the blue spray paint. i'm hoping i can find the receipt and return it. can't use spray paint if i can't tape off the parts i don't want blue. shit sucks. so all i ended up doing was priming with white so i can paint it later. maybe i'll try and pick up the right paint on wednesday. i was going to do it today, but i got busy with studying and watching star trek.
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this weekend the main thing i had to prep for was an in class essay on sirius. this sci-fi book i had to read for engl lit. basically we were given the perimeters. 2 hrs, 500-700 words, develop a thesis around either of the topics given. the topic i chose was basically that sirius wasn't a sci-fi novel. that it was just a relationship novel glossed over with the barest hint of sci-fi. the thesis i created addressed the fact that most of the themes in the book are portrayed through the character's personal relationships and not through scientific discovery. but all this is boring to people who have never read this book XP my main issue was trying to fit 3 pages of notes on essay structure, book quotations, my thesis, and outlining the 3 arguments, into a 3"x5" index card. lame i know, but luckily i write small. i even included the MLA citation just in case, since i never know with this prof. next semester, or whenever it's available i'm kinda convinced i want to take the children's lit course. i think it'd be fun.
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on friday, momo and i just sat and wanted a bunch of movies most of the night. 'the swell season','my week with marilyn', and 'the descendants.' they were all pretty good. then later i watched 'the man-ster'. i like it when we just sit and watch movies rather than watching tv. for 1, i don't really like tv and tend not to watch it unless it's criminal minds, grimm or project runway. usually i read instead, or i wander off. and 2, because watching movies with my mom is easier than with my dad. i like movies, but dad's super picky and will usually pick the most retarded movies ever. i think his last enlightening tale was 'machete.' kind of brings a tear to my eye. of sorrow, not of pride.
the next night i also watched 'waiting' and 'percy jackson and the olympians; the lightning theif.' i've seen both, but i like percy jackson and waiting i haven't seen since it came out. plus the news that nathan fillion's going to be in the next percy jackson makes me extremely happy. i do love me some nathan fillion. watching that movie always makes me want to start on the books though, even though they're for kids :P
watched the lorax tonight. though missed the first 15-20 mins because i was seated in the wrong theater :C was sad about that, but i still liked it. i like the bears
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sooo, it's something i've addressed in the past, but i still don't get it. people are always shocked when they find out i read. and by read, i mean a lot. i usually finish around one or two books a week depending on their length and how much hw i have from classes. or i tend to be a bit slower when i don't really find the book that interesting. but anyway, for books that i read freely, i read many. and generally from several different genres, though sci-fi is by far my favorite. i read classics to trash, it doesn't really matter to me as long as i like it. but people are still seemingly shocked when they find out i've read something. really? like really really? i've been this way since prolly before highschool. i read a shit ton, and i do so very quickly. i finished the millenium series in less than two weeks. shock and awe people, is all i can say.
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i want to murder the lilith costume, it's causing me so much stress. if worse comes to worse, maybe she-ra will be done by then. if the wig arrives in time. so i can wear that to sakura. though that'll make it two years in a row i wore a western styled cosplay instead of anime or videogames.... all well.
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updated the groove list. currently i'm not sure which book to dl. 'the hunger games' or 'brave new world.' i'll end up reading both, so i suppose it doesn't matter. i finished 'fair game' and it was awesome. just makes me crave more. new nalini singh comes out may 29th. can't wait!

Chu,
Britt

soooo today was my first wednesday off. it's part of my new schedule that i get wednesday, sunday and monday off now. i don't mind too much. so my plan was that i would sleep, do the reading for feminism class, tweek my annotated bibliography (put it in alphabetical order etc.), then finish off sirius since i'm already supposed to be on lady in the lake for lit class. i wrote the test for sirius and got like 18/20, lol but i still haven't finished the book. bad me XD

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so anyway, i discover that my dad actually has weds off too. this ends up being horrible. people who know me, know i have a really hard time sleeping. it's why i'm up most of the night even though i have work in the morn. so anyway, first he wakes me up to go pick pkgs up from the post office before i 'go to work.' i inform him i don't work that day.... no big deal. thanks for looking out for me daddo, you know in case the alarm didn't go off or something. this is at like 8 in the morn. i go back to bed. and hr later he starts calling out for me. he wants me to do the dusting right then so he can wash the floors later. something he doesn't end up doing anyway. now this is when i get a little ticked. i can't sleep during my work days because i'm at work during the morning, going to class at night. up most of the late night because of insomnia... shit sucks balls. i use my days off to kind of catch up. esp recently because i've been so stressed. so i get a little pissed about this whole dusting at 9 in the morn thing. i get up, i do it, i go back to bed. HE WAKES ME UP AGAIN! starts yelling out from down the hall, when am i going to the post office. he wants me to pick up food. i ignore him at first, and try to go back to sleep. but he keeps fucking around and yelling about mcdonald's, finally he goes in my room and is talking about fucking shit all, i yell at him to fuck off! that i'm tired and to get the hell out. he gets pissy, asking where all this is coming from, and i'm basically like 'you've been waking me up all fucking morning. leave me alone. are you bored or something?' i was really pissed off, and he does it all the time. when me and him are home, and my mom's not there, he will do this constantly. i seriously think he just gets bored.

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my mom kind of understands since she had problems sleeping too. that when i have a day off, and if i actually am sleeping, to leave me the hell alone so i can get some rest and not be a bitch for the rest of the week. but my dad just fucks around and thinks that if he's up, everyone should be up. it's fucking retarded. he goes to bed at 10pm, and is snoring in seconds. i wish i could do that :C then he gets all pissy and pretends he doesn't understand when people get pissed at him. and by people, i mean momo and myself. it's like, he's lived with this for years, he can see that i'm exhausted, he just chooses to fucking ignore it. and then wonders why i'm such a bitch if he tries to wake me up. this is why my cat is my favorite member of my family.

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so i had WSGR tonight. i just drove straight there rather than skytraining it since my class is at 7 and you don't have to pay for parking after 6. handed in my annotated bibliography. i think i did well, i was just kind of confused how i should word the thesis question. so i kind of flip flopped on that. but i'm glad it's over with. returned all my research books. got the guidelines for the next major assignment for that class. i haven't even read it. i don't know when it's due... yeah. i am so on the ball, but i just don't give two shits right now.

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getting very stressed with the amount of work i have left to do before sakuracon. also stressed about other things, but i'm not going to talk about them since i don't know if it's actually something to stress over, or just me being paranoid. last creative writing class, she actually told us that our assignment 4's, for me the euphoria story, is actually going to be given to a local author for review. i'm a little bummed i didn't know that before hand, since i like the ghost story so much better. euphoria is just like an acid trip. whatevs.

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fair game, the new alpha and omega novel by patricia briggs came out on the 6th. i'm very tempted to start reading it, i have it dl'd on my kindle, but i know once i start, i won't stop till i'm done. and i have so much shit to read for english lit :P laaaame. i want to read fun stories. it's like have a craving for cake when you're diabetic.

Chu,
Britt

This is kind of a rewrite of an old story i had to write in grade 11. Write a story where you were the hero. Though admittedly i changed most of it, about the only thing that remains the same is the setting and charlie. also the idea of this quest to get to the city. in the original story there were a lot more characters. the main character, i changed her name to kara rather than using my own like i had to before. her friend vanessa, the mother, charlie and another being in the dream world. he was a dog made of shadows named zacariah i think, but i don't remember his name too well. it might have been noah. i had to cut out a lot of the quest parts because admittedly i don't remember them much, and originally the story was like 15 pages long, and i had to finish this one up in 10 for my creative writing class.

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i don't like this as much as the ghost story. maybe because it's old hat for me, or because i just don't enjoy the setting as much. i like the flow of it, and the oddity of it. perhaps that's why i chose to rewrite it. i thought it was a tale that could do with a second look, and would easily translate into something shorter. plus i got the idea in my head of rewriting this story, and it just wouldn't go away...

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not much else to say about it i guess. decided to post it up here just for shits and giggles. figured i had posted my last one, this might as well go up too. hope you enjoyed the read. i'm kind of nervous to read this out to the class. it's such a strange story, and the presence of a giant talking rabbit make me a little scared. hopefully it all goes well.

Chu,
Britt

sooo tired, should be sleeping. boo sleep. anyway... been working on finishing up cosplay for sakuracon. crossing my fingers my legging and boots arrive in time. probably going fabric shopping with lisa on sunday. i need to pick up (hopefully) a red stretch jersey for my lilith bodysuit. so far, i've cut the corset out of the madam red gown, and i'm going to be refashioning it for the lilith costume to save time and money. i don't want to make a new one when i have one that's pretty much all ready to go...
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LIST OF SHIT I NEED TO DO:
-refit corset, removing 1" from either side so that it won't be too big anymore
-replace zipper with a lace up back
-paint wings
-get gloves
-paint leggings (once they arrive)
-cut and fit the rest of the body suit before attaching it to the corset.
-buy fabric!
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seems long... but then i remind myself i've had longer. gave the 'ghost' story to my mom to read after i came back from class. the first night she didn't say anything really, so i kind of figured she didn't really like it . i wasn't really surprise, scifi isn't her bag. but the next night, she says she has something to say... and then proceeds to start crying and confessing about how amazed she is. how she's so proud of me... keep in mind my mom hasn't read anything i've written, prolly since elementary school. she says she was just blown away. so of course i start crying like a baby too, and i'm kind of speechless. what do you say to something like that? my mom really isn't one to gush over her kids. like she knows we don't walk on water and shiz. my mom also had a tendency to only tell other people she's proud of me, or something i've done. i rarely hear about it, except from a secondary source. so this came as quite the shock. a nice one though.
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i just didn't know what i was supposed to say :S updated the groove list. love you all monkeys. maybe i'll film some of my fabric adventures. either way i'll try and have another CB up this weekend... though i seem to be saying that every weekend. lol ♥

Chu,
Britt

wow i haven't written in here in a long time! anyway. so recently i've been playing around with the idea of making a writing journal. but until i decide on that i decided to post some stuff here for people to read. this was a short story i had to write for one of my classes.

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this is the shorter version I had to edit down due to a restriction on the number of pages. But it didn't suffer the loss of too much detail from the one i originally had. if anyone wants to read the longer version, i do still have that one as well. i like the end product, but this was kind of hell to get out. i stayed up till four last night, then skipped work today to edit it down and get some fucking sleep :P
i woke up late and realized i wouldn't have time to go get even the unedited version printed off and copied before work, and then after between work and class without sacrificing being late to a lecture.
shit sucks, but ke sera. hope you all enjoyed the read!

Chu,
Britt

it's been a while since i wrote in here. i'm not sure why i'm doing it now. just a means of documenting my thoughts and feelings, and getting them out there i think. a lot has happened in my life. my birthday has come and gone, and all i feel from it's passing is just this great sense of failure. which isn't too different from what i usually feel. i think every person goes through a time in their life when they realize their parents aren't immortal. that they won't be around forever and that you can't depend on them anymore despite the fact you want them to always be there for you. for me this realization came about as subtley as a bat to the head. i'm 25 now and i have nothing to show for my life except a string of failed relationships and a great amount of confusion over what my life is, and what it should be.

i have been selfish for a very long time, and i've slowly been transitioning out of that, but it's not without it's hiccups. basically in my time apart from this journal i have gotten a full time job, while i still work the part time at austin's. i was exhausted at first, and i suppose i still am. i have also applied for school. i met with an academic advisor, though it did little to help me. she confused me and i just wanted the entire affair over with. though she did help me fill out my application for douglas college which is helpful. this immense fear i have of returning to school, and placing my self in a situation where there is a possibility of failure scares the living shit out of me. i decided to persue getting my bachelors so i may become a highschool english teacher. where i will take this i don't know, but i need a career path, and working at wendy's just isn't an option. i staye dup all night, and then woke early this morning for panic attacks. i also have the flu which doesn't help. i called in sick to both jobs and instead took a day, which i probably should have awhile ago because my cough is disgusting. but that's besides the point. i've been freaking out recently. i'm terrified and nervous and life is just shit right now to deal with. on the other hand. i have money again because all i do now is work. i'm paying off my debts and things on that end are a little less stressful.

worry keeps me up at night, and that's a hard thing to avoid. my parents are close to retirement. i need to figure out what i want out of my life, and what i can contribute to it to make it better. and i need to do so very quickly. updated the groove list.

Chu,
Brit