HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S YOUR FAVORITE ESCAPED CONVICTED CRIMINAL. DON'T LIE, YOU KNOW I'M YOUR FAVORITE. I'M MUCH MORE FUN THAN THAT BITCH BELLATRIX. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY STOP BY THE HOUSE SOMETIME. I'LL LET YOU THROW THINGS AT THE PORTRAIT OF THAT WACKO MOTHER OF MINE. IT'S MORE FUN THAN MASS MURDER!

CALL ME 'LOONY' AND I'LL HEX YOU INTO NEXT WEEK, FOR SRS.

HELLO EVERYONE.  I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ THE QUIBBLER.  IT HAS 3D GLASSES THIS WEEK, YO.

AND IF YOU SEE SPARKLES, THEY'RE FROM ME, I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE EVERYTHING I OWN SPARKLY, SO WHEN YOU JERKS STEAL IT AND HIDE IT, I CAN ACTUALLY FIND IT. 

COME SAY HI AND STUFF, I'LL ACCIO US SOME SNACKS AND WE CAN CHILL.

REALLY, I'M NOT AS CRAZY AS EVERYONE THINKS I AM.


[EXCEPT SHE KIND OF IS, BUT SHE'S REALLY SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.]

WELL HELLO THAR. I'M HARRY POTTER, KNOWN SAVIOR OF THE WIZARDING WORLD, BUT OF COURSE U KNOW THAT. EVERYONE KNOWS ME. UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST SEVENTEEN YEARS OR ARE IN THE MIDDLE AGES... OR HAVE BEEN LIVING UNDER A V. LARGE ROCK... TYPE THING.

ANYWAY. WHERE R THE HONEYS AT?? SHH, GINNY'S NOT HURR RIGHT NAO.

AHEM. ANY BLONDE'S? YOU KNOW I LIKE BLONDE'S WITH SEXY HAIR. ;D

BLOODY HELL, I THINK I HEAR 'MIONE. I THINK SHE'S STILL PISSED AT ME FOR SAYING HER BUTT LOOKED A LITTLE BIG. BRB. O___O

EDIT: I ALSO MIGHT BE MALFOYSEXUAL. STFU.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED. AND WHO BETTER TO START IT THAN ME? JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW ME--I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, LIVING UNDER THAT ROCK--I AM DRACO MALFOY. I'M A PUREBLOOD, AND BETTER THAN PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY ANYONE WHO'S NOT A PUREBLOOD, IS A WEASLEY, OR IS NAMED HARRY POTTER. LIKE I SAID: PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE. I'M ALSO A SLYTHERIN, WHICH MEANS I'M SNEAKY, CUNNING, DEVIOUS, AND ALL AROUND TOTALLY AWESOME COMPLETELY INCREDIBLE.

I THINK THAT'S ALL, FOR INTRODUCTIONS. YOU MAY BASK AT WILL.