Comment on this post with "I love libraries" and I’ll give you seven things I want you to talk about. They may make sense or they may be totally random. Then post that list to your journal with your commentary. Other people can get lists from you and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

inoru_no_hoshi gave me the following (which I will answer briefly because fdkjghldkfjgh I could write whole books on these subjects zomg):

Being a mom

DJSHGDJGHDSKJG My baby is so cute and lovely and I'm so proud to be his mommy! It's tough, you know, being a parent, but it's super awesome, too. <3

Hikaru no Go (CHEAP SHOT I HAD TO)

My eternal fandom, home of my ultimate OTP, a series I will never ever stop loving, there's too much to say. Rich characters, deep and moving story lines, brilliant dialogue, Hikago has it all. Coming of age, loss, finding your way, friends, rivals, everything. So so so much love.

Fairy Tail

Hands down best ongoing series out there. I found this randomly, looking for something new to read, and was instantly hooked. Magic and adventure and dark pasts and finding a home, a family, when you have none, the bonds of love and trust and friendship - this series hits all my feels, and it's common for me to cry during episodes. I'm really hoping Erza and Jellal finally get to be happy one of these days... <3

gaming

A gamer is me. My sister used to call me Gamer girl when I was a kid. I pretty much exclusively play RPG's with a few exceptions, and I'm one of those people who will VANISH into a game only to resurface days later, babbling about how amazing it was. I beat FFIX for the first time in one sitting, heh. My favorite game is probably Tales of Symphonia - so so much love for that game and KRATOS <333, but there are many notables, including other Tales games, a handful of the FF games, the Persona series, the Disgaea series, the Star Ocean series, the Grandia series... oh man, so many. <333

second-favourite author (since you gush about Chuck Wendig so much... xD)

Neil Gaiman! SO MUCH LOVE. American Gods and Good Omens are at the top of my list, but he's got so much to discover, and he's such an amazing person. <333

Go

Learned from Hikago, of course, I... suck badly at it, heh. My best friend from high school got into it with me though, and he bought a beautiful shinkaya goban with Yunzi stones, and we went and picked them up in LA, spending the day in Little Tokyo~! Hoping to start attending a Go club in the near future...

Favourite class you're attending

Phil of mind and Phil of Religion, both taught by McCormack, the coolest teacher ever. No really, he built a fully function, to spec, R2D2, complete with fire extinguisher. He's AMAZING. <333

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

SERIOUS FOOTNOTE AT THE END. EVEN IF YOU SKIP THE NONSENSE, PLEASE READ IF YOU HAVE TIME. THANK YOU.

Just a listing of all the currently pressing fandom things I started/signed up for.

Rewatch. Every week for like, what, the next four months or something, plus chat. <3
Ihikago Podfics. Four of them.
GW Gift Exchange. ...Haven't even started it, but I'm pretty sure I have an idea I can dump in one sitting when I'm feeling it.
Remix. Pretty sure I've picked the fic I'm remixing already, but still only have shadowy ideas floating around. Soon, it'll come clear.
BG. I'm working on two fics for this.
MoR. Probably needs at least 20K still. Probably more.
Help Japan. I did not forget, and have partial fics waiting for me to finish.
The World Between Awake and Asleep. Not dead, just on hiatus until after May, because ZOMG ALMOST ALL OF THESE THINGS ABOVE ARE DUE IN APRIL AND MAY. SERIOUSLY.
1sentence. Seriously cannot default again, holy crap.

Seriously, I probably forgot things. And there are other sequels/prompt fics/projects I'm still considering 'active' in my mess of a brain.

OH YEAH, AND SCHOOL. AND BABY. AND CRAZY LIFE. AND HANGING OUT WITH TIARA.

Yep. Insane. Just completely psychotic.

I LOVE FANDOM SO MUCH.

(Also, a footnote. I read each and every response to that entry, and I love you guys all so much. I was not expecting a response like that AT ALL, and it's seriously so overwhelming and heart-warming and completely beyond words. I know I did not reply to any of you individually, and I'd probably weep all the tears if I tried to, just out of the amazing feeling of support and acceptance and understanding from you all - it's something I haven't had a lot of in my life, so trust me when I say it bowled me over. I don't think that I'll be posting further on this issue, mainly out of how ridiculously complex this situation is, but just trust me, your words and well wishes and kind offers are not lost on me. I feel so much closer to fandom than I ever have. You guys are my rock, my eternal love, my main source of happiness. I just really wanted to make sure you guys don't feel like I'm ignoring you - I just really need to pretend like things are normal to keep functioning properly, heh. I will never, ever forget this, and the only way that I know how to repay you all is to keep as active as possible in fandom and continue to play with you all. :D Seriously, fandom has made all the difference in the world to me, and I hope we can continue to play until the end of our days and beyond. So much love for each and every one of you.)

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

From my Senior Seminar - Philosophy of Space and Time:

More detailed course description: Our course is about space. What sort of space? Not empty space. If you have a cubic box that is one foot on each edge and you fill it with marbles, then how much space is there left in the box? There are two answers. (1) A cubic foot. (2) It depends on how big the marbles are. Our course is about space in the sense of (1). And what about time? We don't mean free time. We mean the stuff that clocks measure. In this particular sense of space and time, this is a course in metaphysics and the philosophy of science that focuses on issues involving space and time.

Here are four examples of those issues:

Time has an arrow. We see this arrow when events "unfold" in a one-way direction. For example unbroken eggs turn into omelets, but omelets never turn into unbroken eggs. A rock leaves your hand and falls into a pond causing expanding waves. However, contracting waves on the pond never reach a point where they eject a rock into your hand leaving a smooth pond surface. What would human experience be like if time's arrow reversed direction in some far off corner of the universe? Would the people there walk backwards up steps while remembering the future?
Without minds in the world, nothing in the world would be surprising or beautiful or interesting. Can we add that nothing would be in time?
If all the matter and energy were to be removed from all of space, would empty space still be left, or instead would even empty space be gone?
Most philosophers of science claim to know there are more points of space on the line between you and the North Pole than there are rational numbers (fractions that are either negative or positive), yet there are infinitely many rational numbers. How do they know this if they haven't themselves counted the points?
These and our other issues will be placed in historical context, but they won't be covered in chronological order. Still, the course's historical range is broad. For example, we will examine the views of the ancient Greek atomists who invented the concept of space; and we will investigate the oldest metaphysical problem in European philosophy, the problem of change. We will also consider the impact of 21st century theories of quantum gravity on our civilization's understanding of space and time. The relevant scientific theories, such as Einstein's theories of relativity, will be introduced as needed, but only informally.

Regarding the philosophical issue of travel through space, the most important point to remember is that wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.


This is the kind of stuff I study ALL THE TIME. No wonder I'm such a weirdo. (I love it!)

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

I named my laptop 'Edge' after Edge Geraldine from FFIV, because it's sexy and fast and epic. <3 I just watched an episode of Fairy Tail on it, and ZOMG, it's LOUD. Those four speakers are actually awesome and not at all quiet and tinny like I expected. <3

Nom nom nom, cold Beef and Cheddars from Arby's. <3

ANYWAY, I've been customizing Edge, and now I have this adorable Fairy Tail wallpaper, which makes Edge look so awesome! I also have an Ao no Exorcist Chrome theme. The pretty, it never stops! *.*

And, best part - NO MORE FREEZING. I still have internet issues here, but that ends this weekend, and I'll be back in Sac with COMCAST. LET THE DOWNLOADING COMMENCE.

Instead of getting my books today when I can just as easily do it on Monday, we're going to try to hunt down a car for me. I found a few promising-looking things on Craig's List, but we'll see. I MUST have a car before the weekend ends, though!

I made some new friends via friending memes~! HI NEW FRIENDS. :DDDD

So much to do~!

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

Okay, so, I still have to wait for the tip for the cord to my netbook so I can transfer everything on over, but for the most part, things are fabulous! This laptop has 8GBs of RAM, a quad core processor, and a TERABYTE hard drive. Plus, after using the netbook for so long, I feel like this 15.6 inch screen is the hugest thing ever. The one downside is that it's quite a bit heavier, but I'll get over it. Maybe I'll break down and get a rolling backpack. I hate those, because it makes me feel a) lazy and b) like I'm at the airport, but I have severe issues with my shoulder as it is, so maybe its time I stopped trying to be super woman.

Because I got such an awesome laptop, I'm sticking with my old phone that is steadily trying to die on me - lots of freezes and spazzes from it lately. But honestly, if I wasn't using it 24/7, it might help. Enter super laptop to the rescue. I get free internet at school and will feel much more comfortable on my own computer instead of a lab computer, especially since the labs often get full, and yuck to that.

LJ kids, if you want to try to connect with who is left on LJ, check out the 'We're still here!' friending meme:

~* We're Still on LJ! A Multi-Fandom Friending Meme *~

I'm working on customizing my laptop now, since I won't want to later, and I have a cute Fairy Tail wallpaper and an Ao no Exorcist Google Chrome theme, and it's rockin'. The netbook couldn't change wallpapers, and it was so small, themes were laughable. So, huzzah for epic laptops.

I think tomorrow I'll be going to get my books and such. Ray is probably going to end up staying behind a bit next week to get us all packed up, since school starts Monday and it would be impossible to move us in that quickly, especially with him working.

My BG hopeful fic is amazeballs. At least, I think it is. I guess we'll see what you guys think in about four months. :D

I also got my GW fic exchange prompt. ...It's going to be a challenge for me, but I think I can pull it off without squicking myself. XD I know I don't have to include all elements, but you know, it's a challenge and all. :D

ZOMG SCHOOL STARTS MONDAY. *Dies*

Sooooooo tired...

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

So I wasn't going to, because I already pay for LJ, but but ICONS. So since I got my school money today, I paid for my DW, too, and now I can edit comments and make polls and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I HAVE ALL MY ICONS!

I'll have my laptop in the next couple of days, so look for a poll on hikarunogo concerning a Hikago rewatch! If you haven't seen it yet, you HAVE to join us! <3

Yay, school money!

This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!

Ah, the end of 2011. It's been a while since I did any real updates, so I figure, why not? Let's look a little at the year in review and speculate a bit about the year ahead.

My year started out amazing. On January 5th, 2011, my son Jacks John Wilson was born at 8:46PM. That means in five days, he will be one. It has flown by, really. One minute, he was 7 pounds 13 ounces and 19 inches long, and now he's at least 20 pounds and 25 inches long. That means he's more than doubled in weight! He can say mommy, and walk a bit, and he's awesomely adorable.

( Baby!Collapse )

Parenting has been a serious challenge at times - I've sworn I'm never having more several times - but it's immensely rewarding. The sleep deprivation is really the worst part of it, heh, since Jacks currently thinks night time is daytime, and I'm hoping I can fix this soon, since school starts in a couple weeks, and I'll be getting up at 6AM. X.x There is nothing quite like the feeling when he comes up and 'gives me love' totally unprompted, which is basically just him laying his head on me for a minute with a big smile on his face, or the feeling when he does something I taught him, like give me a high-five or clap. (Yes, I taught him how to give me five - it was one of the first things he learned to do consistently. XDDD)

( About My YearCollapse )

As always, I love all my internet friends forever and ever, especially those of you I've known for quite some time, or talk to often. Some special shout-outs go to: verloren1983 for always being around to put up with my random ramblings and for having way more brain twin moments with me than I've ever had with anyone, blue_cage for all around awesomeness and for making art for Jacks <3, llamabitchyo for being amazing and hilarious and texting with me en masse, kelkatan just because, and leilia for her incredible fortitude in her time of extremely sucky illness. Also, a shout-out for Bugeyes, or Nick Davis, my bromance -1 bro, for being the best Ogeeku friend I've made, for being my CAPSLOCK buddy, and for just being one hell of a smart kid. I wish I could name everyone ever, but that would take the rest of my life, so for everyone else, I love you all!

And with that, I sign off from 2011 and await what 2012 has to bring me! Happy New Year, everyone!

Eulogy of a White Dwarf, Conveniently Given By the White Dwarf Himself (With Commentary From His Ever-Present Companion)

...Yeah. I wrote slashy Astronomy fanfiction. For a class. And the teacher liked it. There's two versions here because I flubbed the science in the first one, but if you squint, you'll see some White Dwarf/Companion Star slash. No, really. I'm getting points for this.

I blame sleep deprivation and my teacher, who said to write a story about the life of a star, and to be creative. So... I ACTUALLY wrote a story. Instead of the boring first person things everyone else wrote. Yeah... I have no idea what possessed me.


( This is what passes for homework these days...Collapse )

Title of post = epic album/song by Spill Canvas, yus.

marceblackguard text me at freaking 6:30 this morning, RIGHT AFTER HE CRASHED INTO A WALL. Oh man. He's okay and stuff, but he thinks he has a concussion and is refusing to go to the hospital and I'm like ANGST ANGST. I spent some of the morning with permanent D: face. Marci~! NO COMAS FOR YOU. D:

So so so, OMG, Remix may actually be DONE, I'm contemplating the end to the last scene, I dunno, but even if it IS done, I STILL HAVE TO TITLE IT. THIS MAY TAKE ME THE REMAINING FOUR DAYS. >.>; llamabitchyo is totally doing a quick beta job for me and huzzah for that because ugh, I'm so flail over this, even if the few people who know about it seem to think it's awesome.

...I think I had a whole bunch more to say, but my brain is broken from no sleep and flailing over Remix and dreading my class group chat in less than an hour and ugh ugh ugh.

Also, BG CHAT IS EPIC FOREVER WIN.

So I indeed have a bladder infection - good call on my part. Thank god it's not stones - I did that already with my gallbladder, thanks. Apparently, my excessive drinking of water and cranberry juice merely took away the obvious symptoms, but the infection was still growing and was working on becoming a kidney infection, ahaha, oops? So, the RA said it was good I came in when I did because she was pretty sure that I'd be vomiting and shaking uncontrollably within two days. Instead, antibiotics FTW.

...Also. Apparently, baby with MediCal = Lisha with MediCal. ...I had no idea I had insurance. I could have made an appointment like a normal person. XD I'm not used to having insurance, and when they told me they were going to do extra lab work on my cultures to make sure I get fully healed and treated with the right stuff, I was like... O: REALLY? What is this extra work I didn't even ask for? Since when did hospitals care about my well being?!

This is... new. XD

So I need boyfriend to fill my prescription when the place opens, but for now I'm like OW MY SIDE. XDDD At least it's only temporary!

So tired... and no time to sleep... baby. >.> Boyfriend has to play taxi ALL DAY LONG, so... I'm kinda on my own... Ugh. And I have a class chat today. D:

Do you like my Hikago layout?! blue_cage made it for me. <3 I'm very much in love with having my first ever custom layout!

So, I still have some school things to do, but the paper is done, anyway, and I need to be getting on with Remix. Still kinda idealess - but I suppose it's because I'm largely unfamiliar with the idea, heh. I have blind_go ideas, too, but I'm thinking about just working a bit on Shidougo and the next part of Awake and Asleep. Hmmm.

My head is kinda full but putting it into words seems to escape me. Been doing the flit back and forth between things thing and getting nothing much done at all. Jacks is almost three months old! He'll be three months on the fifth. <3 I'm also already looking forward to Hikago day, 5/5, even if it's more than a month away, heh. That's probably kind of silly of me, but hey, whatever.

I wonder if I can write with such a full head. Guess I'll find out.

...Signed up for blind_go and remixers_lounge...

*Flails*

Now to complete this midterm...

(Hikago fans, go sign up for the Remix. It'll be awesome!)

So... hello again, guys. This is just kind of a random listing...

Life is so crazy with a baby. I love him soooo much! Jacks doesn't let his poor mommy sleep ever though, since I'm breastfeeding exclusively and must wake with him.

School is seriously getting on my nerves. Ugh. My teachers this semester are ugh.

I now have a thing for Starbucks with extra shots, but can't afford it much longer. And crap, because regular coffee makes me feel sick.

Did I mention before Jacks is freaking huge? He's already in 3-6 month stuff and size 2 diapers at eight weeks (he'll be eight weeks tomorrow, though we had to buy him new clothes last week...).

I find myself totally in love with Fairy Tail - and though I liked Fairy Tail already, I finally caught up with the anime. For some reason, even though I've been closely following the manga, the anime was the thing that triggered my OTP love. Something about the anime just screams Gray/Natsu, and I freaking love it! ...Unfortunately, I can't find much Gray/Natsu fiction, art or icons, and some of the fics I did find had my biggest squick - non-con. Ugh. Must find more cute and fluffy and sexy Gray/Natsu. I want it~! Sadly, I don't know that I could write it well - way too much IC crazy silliness that I can't capture well in words. But without it, something's missing. Hmm. Maybe I can sneak in some flash fiction or something...

Wrote for blind_go again. Found out about it the day before and wrote the drabbles in the five hours before they were due. They're terrible, but it feels good to get something out there anyway.

Arg, must do homework... But want more fanfic...

So, where to start...

I have a baby now! My gummy bear is now a three and a half week old infant. Jacks John Wilson is amazingly cute, and boy do I love being a mommy! I'm posting this from my Droid (yay Metro has a Droid now!) so I'll just attatch one picture.

I moved finally, but am out of internet until the 4th since AT&T is doing updates, which means I have to go to hot spots to do my homework - lame. That's also why there hasn't been any updates lately. I'm taking online classes again, but since my major doesn't have any classes available, I'm taking Child Development classes, which is kinda awesome.

I bought Ray a ring from Tiara since she works at Zales. We're not married yet, but practically! Tiara asked to be my maid of honor - as if she had to ask. That was always the plan. She bought the baby a bunch of stuff, and we got her and her boyfriend Eddie some stuff from Think Geek. I don't get to see her often, but it's amazing when I do.

I've been getting some weird advice from people - everyone wants me to let my baby cry, but I won't. People mean well, I guess, but they treat me like I'm an idiot and it's pretty obnoxious. I like to let my baby be naked sometimes and my sister actually asked me if he was naked because I didn't do his laundry. I was like... Uhm... No, I'm not neglecting my baby, thanks.

I'm hoping to work on some of my fanfiction when the net comes back online, so look for that in maybe a month or so - baby and school take a bit out of me, so it's not likely to be right away, heh.

I'll update more later - I look forward to catching up!



Posted via LjBeetle

In my Human Development class' discussion boards, there was a question I have very strong opinions about. Though I was only supposed to write a paragraph or two with some evidence from the book, I wrote a mini-essay over 700 words long. Someone decided they would disagree with me, randomly, with no evidence. The following is the question post, my post, her response, and finally, my complete pwning of her soul. (Normally, I'm nice, and don't criticize too much in classes, but when people come to me first, it's a whole new ball game.)

Just a note - if you disagree with my point, that's perfectly okay. It's just that she didn't offer ANY proof of her claim other than she said so. I don't do well with 'I said so' evidence, especially when they are claiming I'm wrong and assuming things.

Thank you, Critical thinking class, for giving me awesome ideas on how to demolish arguments.


( Cut for length and epicness.Collapse )


P.S. I love this icon, and am so glad to have a legit use for it. <3

Here it be.

So I was having terrible stomach pain, but I've been writing that off as gas/acid for upwards of three years now. So that is not what found me in a hospital bed at five in the morning - it was the blood in my vomit that my stomach pain caused.

I assumed ulcer.

I was WAY off.

( Surprise Surgery!Collapse )

Oh, and someone hit my brother-in-law while he was driving our car, so... it doesn't exist anymore. We're buying the car Ray's dad was going to sell though, and since it doesn't need shocks, it'll be much easier with baby. (The other one would have had to be fixed before baby came - it was REALLY bad.)

*Takes deep breaths*

So much to update, so little energy, LOL.

OH. And my mom's executive won the court case to give me $400 dollars a month again, like she used to once upon a time, for school, so I'll be going to school online from home. Yay! Things actually look decent, especially with school money coming - baby stuff will be bought! YAY!

Anyone on my flist in the NorCal area or the upper SoCal area can come to my Baby Shower in October, if you wish. (I doubt it, but you never know. Not many of you even live here, lol.)

Believe it or not, I've kept it short and sweet. Lawl.

Now to go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow, write some more pieces for the Porn Battle before it's too late, and then get to work on Merith's piece, Kracken's piece, and my MoR entries. So much to write! Need to work on World, too, but MoR takes precedence, since there's a deadline. So unless the bunny eats me alive, that's postponed about a month.

OKAY. LISHA SHUTS UP NOW. Finally.

Okay, before I post this, let me just say that I actually do believe in God. But due to the guidelines, there wasn't too much to choose from, so I wrote my paper on the non-existence of God. I think I made a decent argument for actually believing in God. XD I may do a tiny bit of editing it before I turn it in, but it's pretty much done. (Metaphysics = BEST CLASS EVER.)

First off, here's the guidelines of the paper:

Given what we have discussed in Metaphysics class thus far... Choose an entity (or category of entity) which is widely believed to exist, but which you do not countenance. The paper should consider the following points: a) Why do some people countenance it? That is, what role does it play in their ontology? (No disparaging psychological diagnoses: give their reasons); b) Why do you not accept it? Give your argument for its nonexistence; c) On your account, what takes its place, or plays its role in your ontology? (Alternatively, explain why nothing need play that role.) d) Where did the believers go wrong? What motivates your superior view of the matter? Do not write on Santa Claus, UFOs, Bigfoot, or anything like that. They don't raise metaphysical problems. (About four pages.)

And now, written in less than two hours, here's my paper!

( God - Little More Than A Safety NetCollapse )

So, Ray and I moved out. We live with two 19 year olds, who are not bad at all, but as we continue to discover, are still only kids. They are a couple, and they also moved in her adopted sister, who I LOVE. And she loves me too, lol. Her name is Allison and she's a lot like me.

( We all live in a one bedroom, which can be a little crowded, though Allison isn't home very often.Collapse )

I got some of my school money!

I need to call tomorrow and ask about the Cal Grant, since I didn't get that part yet, but all in all, it's been a GREAT day.

Now just to go look at the room me and Ray might be renting. ^.^

(We had one picked out, but unfortunately, the guy's job is transferring him to AZ. Boo. He was super awesome, too.)

YAY!

I finally have my paid account back, too! Tee Hee. <3

Now to call Tiara and let her know she can borrow some money until she gets her check, lol.

HAPPY!

So... this is only sort of an update, I guess.

You guys already know that I have been accepted to Sac State and will be receiving Financial Aid. You also know that I have this mysterious boyfriend that I mention but have never given too many details on. So... I suppose it's time for that.

Most of you probably know my boyfriend's name is Ray. I'm sure you've heard the name in some of my previous blogs, and some really old ones may not have been very favorable. So... this is the extremely condensed version of the story of me and Ray, with a little bit of background information on where I've lived during my life thrown in.

( I Summed It Up As Well As I Could, But It's Still Kind Of Long...Collapse )

I've been wondering when the best time to tell this story would be, and tonight, it just seemed to want to come out. Of course, there is a LOT more to it. Having known each other for so long, how could there not be more to it? But this should be enough to understand.

Hopefully, that brings you all up to speed. Feel free to ask questions though, if you have them! I'm finally ready to answer questions about us!

....So....


Aid Year


Award Description Category Offered Accepted
Direct Unsubsidized Loan 1 Loan 3,073.00 3,073.00
Direct Subsidized Loan 1 Loan 5,500.00 5,500.00
Federal Work Study Work/Study 3,000.00 3,000.00
Cal Grant B (Access) Grant 1,551.00 1,551.00
Cal Grant B (Fees) Grant 3,354.00 3,354.00
Federal Pell Grant Grant 5,350.00 5,350.00
Aid Year Totals 21,828.00 21,828.00


Terms

Fall 2009 View Scheduled Disbursement Dates

Award Description Category Offered Accepted
Direct Unsubsidized Loan 1 Loan 1,537.00 1,537.00
Direct Subsidized Loan 1 Loan 2,750.00 2,750.00
Federal Work Study Work/Study 1,500.00 1,500.00
Cal Grant B (Access) Grant 776.00 776.00
Cal Grant B (Fees) Grant 1,677.00 1,677.00
Federal Pell Grant Grant 2,675.00 2,675.00
Term Totals 10,915.00 10,915.00

Spring 2010 View Scheduled Disbursement Dates

Award Description Category Offered Accepted
Direct Unsubsidized Loan 1 Loan 1,536.00 1,536.00
Direct Subsidized Loan 1 Loan 2,750.00 2,750.00
Federal Work Study Work/Study 1,500.00 1,500.00
Cal Grant B (Access) Grant 775.00 775.00
Cal Grant B (Fees) Grant 1,677.00 1,677.00
Federal Pell Grant Grant 2,675.00 2,675.00
Term Totals 10,913.00 10,913.00



I just about had a heart attack. My jaw just fell open. I was with Tiara and I looked at her, I looked at the screen, I looked at her... and I said... Do I... Do I get THAT?

The answer is yes, yes I do.

( SCHOOL MONIES IS MY FRIENDCollapse )

Man, I can't wait until I have enough money to pay for my LJ again. I miss my layout and my like 110 icons. X.x

So our company is still in the process of switching to a new company, so there's no work right now. I decided this is the perfect time to catch up on Bleach - which I was ridiculously behind in. After getting through the grueling filler, I watched the Past Arc, and then everyone is lined up to fight... and then... as they're about to fight... THE END. I watched almost 100 episodes in three days to get to a 'all the good stuff... next time". >.>; So I decided to check out the manga - I'm incredibly impatient - and find out what happened.

*** For those not interested in my Bleach happiness, skip to the next set of ***

The following three pages simply personifies why Bleach not only continues to shock and amaze me, but also makes me go - Damn, this is so bad ass. For those of you worried about spoilers, this is from Chapter 323, but it's one of the more minor fights. I'll tell you what though, I always thought Kira was a pansy. I was WRONG.

( My Jaw Dropped - Really. Beware Spoilers - Bleach Manga 323Collapse )

There is other, even more bad ass stuff concerning Ichigo, but just in case the curious take a peek here, I don't want to spoil anything big - especially not that. I'll be most interested when this stuff finally shows up in anime form. *Has trouble understanding what's going on in Manga*

***

So... I sent an e-mail to the head of the Japanese Department at Sac State (The Uni I'm going to next semester, in case anyone forgot) and it appears there is a test I have to take to get into Japanese 3 (Called Japanese 2A at Sac State, meaning intermediate level part A) which isn't too much of a problem, but I really hope I can spend some time studying the kanji and vocab - they appear to have a lot of stuff I didn't learn. However, she said that if I did well with the Nakama textbook, I shouldn't have much of a problem with passing the Genki test - that's the book I'll be using and also where the placement exam comes from. I'm still nervous though, because I don't know what to focus on and though I have a kanji and vocab list, there isn't a grammar list online and I can't afford the book right now. I know a lot of grammar that was supposed to be in Nakama 2, the book for Delta College's Japanese 3, so I should be okay, since I'm sure a lot of what I didn't learn in the first two classes will be covered by what I've learned in addition to J1 and J2, HOPEFULLY filling in most of the differences in teaching styles between the two textbooks.

*Breathes out a little mushroom cloud* Did you get all that? ...It even sounds confusing to me.

ANYWAY, she also invited me to the Japan Club's Culture Night, which is basically an all day festival that's free. <3 I've called Tyler and Tiara, and Tyler sounds like he'll go and Tiara is thinking about it. I called Bobek, too, but she didn't answer, and I hate leaving messages. >.>; It's at the school and I really want to go, like... really really want to go. Here's the proposed schedule from what she sent me:

***Program Overview***
National Anthem America & Japanese
Yosakoi Dance Performance
Singing: Sukiyaki song (ue wo muite aruko)
Japanese Language Program video
Performance by Martial Art club
Koto and Shakuhachi (Japanese traditional music) performance by special guests
- Intermission -
Dance performance: Oha Rock + Parapara + Won't Be Long
Japanese folk dance by Minyo Tanoshimi Kai
Fashion Show
Super Dope Ending

Super Dope Ending, eh? Sounds fun. XD I really want to get back on track with my studies. I knew if I took this semester off, I wouldn't learn anything. >.>; I'm really excited though! I love school!

Mmm... Sacramento. I really love this place. Even if there are a bunch of shady people I used to know living here. =P

So... I moved in with my mom. Most of you have no idea why that is great, but let's just say that the last place came with more problems then I could really handle...

Of course, now I have a whole new set of problems...

However, I think these problems are completely surpassable. ^.^

I have a job... I work 60+ hours a week, six days a week. But right now we're switching companies and I'm terribly sick, so I have a week off. What do I do? Well, I sell Comcast door to door as a contractor. It's completely commission, but in about two weeks of work, I've made over 700 dollars - and that's doing really poorly, since I still don't know what I'm doing. My manager is happy though, and thinks I'm catching on. He's convinced that I'm going to make a whole lot of money really soon. I haven't been paid yet, but I have four paychecks guaranteed coming to me starting on the 24th, and I get paid every week! So that's awesome. Tiara and I worked together for a while, but she had to quit due to health problems. We talk pretty much everyday though. ^.^ Also, just a side-note, my bosses are AWESOME. I mean really, Tiara and I are thinking about hanging out with them outside of work - and they're all for it.

I've reapplied to Sac State, and will actually be going this next semester, since I now live in Antelope - a city very near Sacramento. God, being home again. It's both amazing and a little terrifying. I think it won't hit me until I run into someone I used to know, or at least get a car of my own. Traveling through certain parts of the city gets my blood going, though, heh.

I'd update more... but I have somewhere to be, so I'll update more later...

BTW, I just watched Ouran High School Host Club for the first time, and boy, do I love it. Two questions - is the Manga finished? And can anyone point me in the direction of any really awesome Tamaki/Haruhi fanfiction? <3

I want to personally thank everyone who has been replying to my rather dark posts lately. I read every reply, even if I can't bring myself to reply a lot of the time. This mostly pertains to LJ, as I have very few readers on MySpace, and I know almost everyone on my MySpace personally and can discuss this at length with them when the need arises.

I want to state, for the record, that I appreciate all of the support I've received, and I understand the anger and disapproval some people have shown.

However, one person has decided to jump ship, and this message is for him.

If you can't love me when I'm at my worst, you don't deserve me when I'm at my best. This goes to anyone who has abandoned me because they disapprove of things I've done. Concern, disapproval and even anger, I will willingly accept. Abandonment I will not.

Don't feel sorry for me. I am not asking for anyone to be sympathetic towards my irrational behavoir. I am not asking for your pity, and if you would abandon me because of things I have done outside your presence and things that have no real direct influence on you, then good riddence. I don't need you around.

Another thing, yes, you at one point helped me out, and I appreciate that. But if your friendship is contingent on my future behaviors - if you are giving your friendship and support only on the condition that I follow your rules - then we were never really friends at all. I did not call you up and ask you to do drugs with me. I have not dropped out of school. In fact, I got one of my tests back today, and in a class of over sixty, I was one of eight who recieved an A - a high A at that. My grades are spectacular. I am not only working, but I am an asset to my bosses. I'll agree that my occasional drug use is a bad idea, but in no way does it affect you, and so far, it's had very little impact on my life. I go to school, I get good grades, I go to work, I pay my bills. For you to judge me so hastily makes me wonder if I ever needed you at all. You provided some financial support in a time when I really needed it, but I would have survived without it. I have real friends - the kind who stick with me through the good, the bad, and the hideously ugly times - and I don't need people who can't do that. I'm not asking you to do anything for me. I'm not asking you to help me - I didn't ask for your help in the first place. You offered, and I took it because I needed it. And I was grateful. But that does not make me liable for following your expectations of me.

I am my own person, and I will stand up on my own if I have to. I have my bad times, and I have the times where people sort of want to run away from me. But I have my good times, and right now, I'm feeling good. I'm doing well in the things I need to do well in. Your approval is not in the requirements for me to feel good about myself.

I'm still healing, and I'm still changing. I haven't really grown up yet, and I'm okay with that. If losing Lane taught me anything, it's that I don't need anyone - especially people who are so quick to turn away.

I am in repair, and only those who are willing to stick with it will see what I become.

In Repair - John Mayer

Too many shadows in my room
too many hours in this midnight
too many corners in my mind
so much to do to set my heart right
oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
oh but if i take my heart's advice
i should assume it's still unsteady
i am in repair, i am in repair

stood on the corner for a while
to wait for the wind to blow down on me
hoping it takes with it my old ways
and brings some brand new look upon me
oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
oh but if i take my heart's advice
i should assume it's still unsteady
i am in repair, i am in repair

and now i'm walking in a park
all of the birds they dance below me
maybe when things turn green again
it will be good to say you know me

oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
oh but if i take my heart's advice
i should assume it's still unready
oh i'm never really ready, i'm never really ready
i'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there
i'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there

So... now that I've calmed down... some... perhaps I should say a little more about what's going on than OMG HORRIBLE! *Bash face into keyboard*

Here I sit in the school computer lab, waiting for class to start, so I guess now could work. Yet again, I have not slept. But then, I don't know many people who could after a shock like that.

I went to Sac with Tiara to visit some friends and drink a bit. We were having a good time - I even got her to do Karioke with me. We drink a lot and go back to a friend's house. Well, a few friends were there. I decided to call Lane to see how he was doing and to see if he was feeling okay, because I knew something was off - I could feel it, and I was wishing he could have came with us just a little bit, so as things were cooling down, I called him to chat a little.

That phone call was the beginning of the end.

( The Beginning Of The EndCollapse )

I've been blogging lightly here and there on MySpace because now some of my friends from school use it often, so I'm going to post my last three blogs here, because I don't want anyone to think I died. I've just been horribly busy and angsty as hell, as you'll see. It sucks blogging on MySpace though, because I can only say so much. My parents have it and so does my sister and some cousins...


( BlargCollapse )

Well, I still don't really have time to type out a huge post, but I want to put down just a little bit that's been on my mind because it's killing me.

Before we get to my angst, though, I'll show you my school schedule.

MWF Physical Anthropology 10-11AM
MWF Japanese 3 12-1:30PM

TTH Survey of English Literature 7:50-9:30AM (This starts on the tenth of September)
TTH Anthro Lab 11-12:30PM
TTH Experimental Psychology 6:30-9:30PM

TH Psych Club 4:30-5:30PM

Yes, 18 units, and yes, I'm still working. As a matter of fact, I have to work today, which is why I can't just sit and drone on and on like I want to. I'll probably be gone for at least some time every single day. And I mean, I'm okay with that. I'm totally laid back enough to be flexible and work around that.

( Whining Ensues.Collapse )

Arg, I've been gone at school and work forever! This is my first free night, though I still had classes this morning. My classes are ALMOST finalized. I'm just waiting to see if I can get into the Physical Anthropology Lab class. I'm like fifth on the waiting list... I guess we'll see.

...I was going to make a huge post... but I got hit with a wayward shoe when I went to the bathroom and I had to wash dishes and go to the bank. so... I guess I'll have to update later.

I shall return.

So... another update, heh.

Blind Go is going splendidly. I am pleased.

However, typing is now painful. See, this morning I took a trip to Wal*Mart to grab some house stuff and a couple little things for school. *Is happy with the backpack she found* (This is after my Step-mom tried to enforce that curfew on me when she caught me up at 4:30 this morning... but I just laid down for three hours and got up to go about my business as usual. She hella went off, heh. She was totally like 'You guys need to save and move out. Rawr rawr rawr.' But then I bought her some cheap beads at Wally World because I know she has a thing for making jewelry, and all is well again, lawl.)

But then, I had another incident with the car not starting. I grudgingly decided to push it again. Well, some guy, being the good Samaritan he was, offered to help. Only... he was pushing it a little too fast, and I was trying to reach into the car and turn the key in the on position... and I fell. Both my knees are scraped up and one of them has a nice bruise on it. That's not really concerning, but apparently, when I fell, I fell on my hand. I didn't notice any pain at first, and when I carried in the heavy laundry soap, I wrote up the pain to it being pretty heavy. But then I was typing, and it was okay at first, and then it started to hurt. And hurt some more. And now twisting or bending my wrist is pretty freaking painful. I think I sprained it.

It's my left wrist. I'm left-handed. This is not my friend.

I can only hope the pain goes away before school starts on Tuesday. Otherwise, this could suck. A lot.

Yay, my Hope icon. It's been a while since I used it. ^.^

Well, Ray has temporary work M-F making 114 bucks a day (Though it could theoretically end at any time). Now, I'm overdrawn 166 dollars, but I get my check tomorrow, which should be about 400 dollars. I owe my parents 100 on Friday - plus I need to shell out some cash for food, and I don't know how much that'll be or even when I need to cough it up.

I owe 261 dollars before I can register for classes.

If we can manage to pay that, I can get into my classes I need - which are not full, as I checked, of course.

Now, books and supplies will be a lot harder to get. School starts on the 20th. I have to - no matter what - have my Japanese supplies. Now, if my friend still hasn't found my Japanese textbook, I'll have to buy a new one, as well as the workbook AND the lab CD's. THAT will hurt me. Then, from what I can tell, I'll need three more books - the Experimental Psych teacher doesn't require a book, and I know for a fact what two of the classes make you buy as far as books go. I can't imagine American Lit will require much more than one thick book, but we'll see.

Now this IS a pretty big if, but it's something, right?

Of course, I finally broke down and went to the Financial Aid office to see what they can do for me. I have to fill out a form and get my W2's and all, along with my parents' stuff. THEN it will take two and a half weeks to process. (Which is why I have to make sure I can at least pay for my classes and my Japanese stuff.) THEN, if I'm not approved, I can put in for Special Circumstances. But by the time I do ALL THAT and the check gets mailed, it'll be at the very least, three and a half weeks from now, which is well into the semester. Therefore, I have to bank off the fact that Ray might keep this job for a few weeks. The guy LOVES the way he works - there's no question there. He's a HARD worker, and ALWAYS gets compliments. It's just that this is under the table, and there is only so much work the guy needs done. It's possible that the guy will keep him on to help some more because Ray has drywall and framing skills, but he's yet to talk to the guy about it - I'm hoping he does that today.

My friend evosol gets financial aid... and he gets something like 2,000 dollars a semester... With that kind of money I could get a laptop or just squirrel it away for gas monies and to let Ray look for a permanent job... (P.S. Why does Firefox think 'monies' is a word? O.o Is it?!) I picked up the forms at least. Now I need to track down my W2 and make my parents fill out some info.

So... I'd say my chances of getting into school this semester are 75%. That's better than the like... 5% I thought I had though, right?

*Prays*

Whole post written at work, yo. The Guy isn't here - I'll tell you all about him eventually, I'm sure.

*Shakes with anticipation and fear*

I'm done with both of my categories for the Maximum Challenge Contest at Media Miner! I'm actually a bit early this year, which is awesome. I finished them all in two days this time! I had a bit of trouble with one - lots of good entries. When the winners are announced, I'll pimp one of my First Place picks - it's REALLY worth the time. Now that that's done, I have time to work on my MoR entry! <3 I'm going to finish my entry this year if it kills me! ^_^ I'm very excited about it.

Later today I'm going to my Psych Club banquet. It's funny, I ran into my Club President at the mall - remember the guy I passionately fought for to stay in office? Well, in my absence - and partly thanks to my letter - he was reinstated for the remainder of the semester. He's transferring to Berkeley for the fall, and I'm sad to see him go. But he invited me and Ray to the End of the Year Banquet, and I'm happy to go! I'm a little nervous, really, because I haven't been to school lately and everyone will obviously know it. But I'll be back next semester - and with a passion, I hope! One of my roommates is returning with me - possibly two of them. We're planning on taking all of our summer classes together and Poly and I are going to be taking one of our Fall classes together, too. The two roommates that are going back with me - Poly and Jen - don't drive, so we've sync'd our classes so that we can just all ride together. It's kind of exciting and scary all at the same time. I've been so depressed and I just haven't left the house for any real length of time at all lately, so it's kind of intimidating now! It's pick myself up off the floor time again though - and I'll be damned if I let anything stop me. I've just got to pull myself together so I can pull the grades I used to. See, I KNOW I can get A's. I have a whole bunch of the shiny things to show off. I just seem to have fallen into a rut lately... something I'm about ready to drop-kick into oblivion if it doesn't leave me alone. I KNOW I can do better. Now I just have to do it.

Shinies! I must make shinies!

Soooo... Lish sucks at life, I know. My computer has been broken, and without all my drafts... I've been so emo. But it's fixed now... I just need to get it hooked up. I panicked sooooo bad... Xenophobic chapter 2 and all my story outlines and partially finished stories... I was just freaking out. I should be writing again VERY soon... I've been going nuts without my stories!

So wanna hear the worst luck ever? Placebo was playing in Sac... TONIGHT... and I GOT TICKETS.... I was so so so excited. Long story short: Lead singer got bronchitis = show cancelled. I think, just maybe... I'm cursed.

No really, there was a drive-by down the street from me just the other day...

Did I tell you guys I moved out? Yeah, great to be without parents - but shitty to live in a neighborhood that makes me feel like I might die for going outside... =/

So... I have to pay for my LJ soon. >.>; I'm HOPING they save my userpics for when I pay... because if I lose them all... I might cry.

Wicked, send me your address by e-mail, because I'm stupid and either forget to call or something like a drive-by or a junkie crashing on my porch or a stalker that's after my roommate breaks into the house... yeah, just e-mail it. >.>; Because apparently - I suck.

In short, sorry for not keeping up, but I've been so depressed and upset, especially about what I thought was going to be the complete loss of years of work on both my fanfiction and the book I'll be fixing and actually finishing one of these days that I haven't been online. At all. Ever.

Oh yeah, and I completely fucked myself out of all my classes this semester and will have to be retaking a bunch of them next semester. Bye dreams of UC Davis and hello alternative of Sac State. (Though after touring the school, I am much more obliged to actually go to the school. The Psych department ROCKS.)

Yay, more failing at life for me.

I started smoking again. I know, I know, jumping off a bridge is much faster and more effective, but hey, I seem to like doing things the hard, long, fucked up way.

Sorry to everyone who believed in me and wrote wonderful stories for me that I didn't deserve. Sorry for being a total loser. I didn't mean to be, it just seems to happen that way for some reason.

I wrote an angry letter today. Tell me if I was diplomatic.

( To the Board Members of the Delta Psi Psychology Club Regarding the Impeachment of Leroi Hill:Collapse )

School starts tomorrow. I'm kinda glad. Even though I've been working, it hasn't been much, so I'm feeling kinda lazy. But man, why does stuff always have to start with a crazy bad omen?

It's nothing incredibly major, but on top of being sick and school starting and stuff, it sucks. My tire popped. Sidewall damage that's unfixable... so that's going to be 128 dollars I don't have at the moment. >.< Plus, the nut was cracked... stupid tire locks, and it took hours to get it off. Now I'm on a spare, and I commute 80 miles a day... Missed work, too. Good thing someone gave me their day tomorrow so I can make up for it, hours-wise. Blarg. It just sucks. And I have to give my car to the shop on Thursday... but I don't know what I'm going to do once I hand it off... >.>; Transportation is difficult to find that far of a distance.

Oh well. I'll just keep trying, right? What else is there to do?

My internet was turned off, too. Ray gave me his Clearwire, but it gets a shitty signal in my house. No fast downloading for me right now.

I've been watching Death Note, and is it just me, or is the whole series just a bit on the creepy side? Am I supposed to not know who to root for? O.o; Such a good series, though.

I'm going to go to Yaoi-Con again this year! I really look forward to seeing lots of people there! Ray might come with me, and if he does, he's gonna dress up as Vash. That would be awesome.

The Media Miner Maximum Challenge is going on again! You guys should enter! There are a lot of different categories, and they take anything from anime, game and even original works. Yaoi, Yuri and Het is all accepted, and they already have some good judges put together for it this year. It's going to be a lot of fun - I'm definately entering this year! They asked me to judge again this year, but I don't know in which category yet - and I can't really tell anyone anyway, but I'm totally looking forward to it. Last year I co-judged with someone else, so this year I'm hoping to get a category to myself. We'll see, I guess. Check out all the information here. I hope to see a lot of entries this year.

Hmmm... school and work tomorrow... it's going to be a long day... I'll probably hit the sack here real soon. I kinda want to write, but for some reason, I'm really tired. Bleh. On Wednesday, I'm going to see Pan's Labrynth, so I'm excited about that! Everything else will work itself out, I suppose. ^.^;;

So I've grown a fondness for Panic! At The Disco. I just LOVE that song "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies" that I downloaded a bunch of music, and man, they're awesome. I'm loving it.

School is starting in a week! OMG! I'm kinda antsy about it. I want to go back really badly. But I want to move to Stockton, dammit. That may take a while... but guess who isn't temporary anymore? I kept the job! I'm now an official employee in the Technology department of Circuit City, and I just got a dollar-fifty pay raise! Yay for $9.25! *Dances* I'm hoping things will get a bit easier.

As for life... it's life. I'm still behind on things (of course), I've been playing FFXII almost religiously, and I'm starting to work my way through the Novella entries. God, I squealed SO DAMN HARD when I realized Addictive Identity was the sequal to Axiomatic. SQUEALED. I'm loving it so far, but then, I read Fancy's, and I loved it, too. So I've only read Fancy's and I'm only a quarter of the way through Jei's, but since there's only 7 entries, I'm hoping I can manage in a somewhat timely fashion. So far, the talent is seeping through the seams! But with such talented writers, who'd expect any less?

I'm still working on Xenophobic, of course. I have two pages of the second chapter written, but I've been bouncing around between that, FFXII, trying to read what I'm missing (I've missed so much...), work and AJU, so it'll come. Just not as fast as I'd like to get it out. *Wrinkles nose* Am I the only person who checks AJU for updates religiously? >.>;;; And is anyone else actually PRAYING they make it through this okay? Maybe I'm a bit TOO wrapped up in it... ^.^;;; But then, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's my schedule, for the morbidly curious.

MWF 10-11 Intro to Philosophy
MWF 11-12 Biology
MW 12-1:30 Bio lab
TTH 9:30-11 Abnormal Psychology
TTH 11-12:30 Improv Theater (Hehe...)
TH 4:30-5:30 Psychology Club <3


AAAAAAAAND, we may as well finish this post off with a meme. Mmm... ganked from meiface. (P.S. If you wrote something you want me to read, just drop me a link. I'll get to it, and it'll ensure I'll read it eventually. I try to catch up with the Herald - thank God for its existance - but sometimes I fall so far behind I don't manage.)


1. Post a list of 10 fandoms that you've had a massive love of at some time in your life.
2. Have your friends guess your favorite character from each one.
3. For each fandom guessed, write the character's name as well as the guesser by the fandom and a short explanation about why he/she/it is your favorite character.

I'm adding a four, to give you some incentive.

4. For each correct answer, I will write a small drabble for the guesser! Your choice from the following fandoms/pairings: GW (1=2, 3=4, 5=R), Bleach (IchiRen), Hikago (AkiHika, IsumixWaya) or Naruto (SasuNaru, KakashixIruka).

(Something tells me this will be kinda easy... Am I typical? Probably. XD)


( Cut because I'm winded as hellCollapse )


4 drabbles owed to anime_fishi
1. 1=2- fluff
2. 1=2- smut
3. 1=2- dvd
4. Agito/Ikki/Akito! Umm....whatever. XD If you REALLY need a prompt let me know, but you can have carte blanche with this one. ^_^

1 drabble owed to sharona1x2
Since Fishie has asked for all 1=2, I'll ask for 3=4. I'd like to see Quatre surprising Trowa about something. ^_^

1 drabble owed to misao_duo
1=2 with the prompt of...kissing in the dark 8D

1 drabble owed to corazon_d_fuego
Trowa/Quatre, prompt "touchy-feely"

2 drabbles owed to lil_1337
Trowa and Quatre. Not so domestic bliss
Wufei. It's not who's right its whose left.

1 drabble owed to lycorias
AkiHika

1 drabble owed to dentelle_noir
3x4 Favorite Indulgence

( Intro LyricsCollapse )


I've been neglecting my LJ, but then, I've been neglecting everything online. It's just the way things are right now. I'll be back, eventually. In the meantime, I figure I should give you some updates.

My parents might be losing their house. That means I'll have to move. I had a few days of panic about that until I calmed down and realized that I'll get through it. evosol, his girlfriend Bobek (My most awesome friend) and I may be getting a place in Stockton, so I might not have to commute anymore! <3 That makes me happy.

I've decided to wait longer before I transfer. It won't hurt me, it'll just push back my graduation date. And who knows, maybe I'll go for that Japanese AA afterall. But for now, I'm not. I'll wait until Fall to decide whether I'm going to take another crack at that or not. *Prays Shek retires*

I work now! I got a job at Circuit City, and I work in Technology (Computers). It's the best job I've EVER had. It's so amazing and I love love love it there. I don't know if they'll have room to keep me on afterwards, but I sure hope so. I LOVE this job. LOVE.

And my big, super important, makes Lisha the happiest news is... I'm dating Marci. Marci = marceblackguard. Some of you kind of know him, and I know you've seen me talk about him in my LJ. He's also the person who was "Man Option A" a while back. You know, the guy who said "I don't think I've ever been sad in another language." He's so cute. So anyways, I've known him for three and a half years, and we've actually gone back and forth on whether we should date or not for years. Well, we finally decided to take a(nother) crack at it. I put another in parenthesis because the first time was so tentative and short, it barely counts. Plus, it was like two years ago. But yeah, Marci and I get along really well. We always have. The number one thing we've decided is to not change the relationship we already have just because we changed one aspect of it. We have our cute little mushy moments, but we still talk just like we did before. They say friends make the best lovers - and they're right. We're also completely honest with each other. I mean, honest to the point that other people would think we're mean to each other - but we LOVE it. Nothing is ever left in the dark and there are no superficial conversations or any bullshit like that. I mean, we even cut out little white lies. But if you think about it, it makes every nice thing he says mean so much more... because I KNOW he means it. He's not just saying it because it makes me happy - he really FEELS that way. So, we aren't running into any "Why didn't you tell me?!" stuff, because we won't let those happen.

The big issue is where we live. He lives in PA. That kinda sucks. He's thinking of moving here, but I'm not sure when. I mean, he was thinking of coming in mid-June, but his parents are bribing him with paying for him to finish school there, but not paying for it if he moves here. I can see why he would do that - it IS smart. So it's either six months or two and a half years - big time difference. But I think it'll be just fine. Plane tickets aren't THAT much. We both work, too, so we could always figure something out. That's another thing about him that all my friends are like "FINALLY" about. He's worked non-stop since he was 13, he's in school working on getting his BA in Accounting, and he's really good with paying his bills and things like that. He's reliable and ambitious, just the kind of man I need. He motivates me like I can't even explain. I don't know, there's just so much I can say about him. And I know it's a good thing when I would have said most of this stuff before we were dating - and even when we were seriously not thinking of dating at all. Hell, I would have said this while dating someone else, because we've always been this way. But it's good that we waited. We've both grown a lot in the last three and a half years, and we've had a lot of really life-changing experiences. Now we know each other so well, we finish each other's sentances all the time and can predict each other's responses. He's my constant reality check and I'm his simmer down enforcer.

I just feel really good about this. And I feel like we're evenly matched. It's the first time I've felt like I was on the same level as my boyfriend. It's always either a worship sort of thing, or a superiority complex for me. With Marci... we just fit. We are the same. I think Marci said it best when he said "I'm seriously convinced the only difference between us is a vagina and lots and lots of dirt." (Dirt being distance.) All I can really say is that I'm happy, and he's happy. I mean... what more can you ask for, right?

"Good enough
I feel good enough
Its been such a long time coming, but I feel good"

It's 2:47 AM and I just finished doing homework. Even with working since about one this afternoon without more than say two hours of break all together, which counts my hour drive home, I left a few spots blank. All Japanese homework. ALL OF IT. My teacher does not know the meaning of Dead Week. No assignments the week before finals! NONE! Why oh why do my teachers not know the rules to the school they teach at? So... yet again, no sleep. And no time to write. My gw500 wntry will be late. That makes me angry. I still have two more stagesoflove pieces to write. I also need to finish my damn EASTER piece, because I fail at life, and I need to work on Cliche, because it damn well needs to be finished, Someone That You're With because it's calling my name, my Novella piece lest I not finish it in time, as we all know deadlines and me aren't friends, AND I need to work on my Color and the Shape entry. That's just the stuff I NEED to work on. That doesn't count some of the other half-finished pieces and whatnot. I'll need to start my 4th of July piece soon, too, but without finishing the Easter piece, I can't write it. I'm going to die a thousand deaths. And I have no sleep. Again. *Sigh* Three day weekend because my Art History and my Japanese teachers gave us the day off, but then next week is finals... I only have to make it to next Wednesday... make it to next Wednesday and I'll have some time... I can do it... really I can...

So in short, if I'm missing something important you said, let me know here and I'll get to it ASAP. I'm just unable to idly browse my F-list and read all the fics I want to be reading. But I DO want to catch up, and being my f-list explodes, it might be best to link me to anything of importance. My apologies.

And with that, I sleep.