OK...

I was headed downtown on Edgewater Drive (a long, alternate route from I-4 for those not of Central FL). As I was coming to the large intersection of Lee Road and Edgewater, I passed a stalled car with its flashers on in the central lane. As I did, a billowing cloud of smoke rolled up over my hood and into my windows. I choked and thought, Holy crap, that guy is burning oil something awful. Then I pressed on the accelerator and kept going.

I passed the Fairbanks turnoff and was coming to the stoplight at the junction of Edgewater and Maury Road. I stopped and was waiting when the smokecloud came again. Then the driver in the pickup next to me rolled down his window and said, "Hey..your car's on fire!"

I freaked and pulled into the gas station just beyond the stoplight. I cut the engine, get out of Monty, and see black smoke pouring from beneath my hood. I called MQ right away to tell her what happened and that I couldn't go to Junior League. She tried to calm me down, got directions to where I was, and said she would be there soon.

Then I called the Fire Department.

MQ got there before the firemen. By then the smoke had dissapated, and she was rather disappointed not to see a blazing inferno, since apparently that's what it sounded like when I called her in a panic.

The truck came screaming up Edgewater and pulled into the station. After an inspection and conferral, apparently some motor fluid (tranny oil?) leaked out, ran down and landed on the manifold, sparking it and sending flames shooting out and around my wheel well.

I called AAA for a tow truck. Since there was a 2 hour wait, MQ drove us to Jax on Edgewater, where we had sandwiches and beer, took a beer taste-test of Miller Lite vs. Bud Lite, then back to the gas station when the driver called me.

AAA towed Monty back to my house, while MQ and I continued onto JT's house where people had gathered to celebrate the holiday spirit that I was desperately short on.

Wish I could post the voicemail I left on my mom's phone when I got out of the car. She has saved it and is threatening to play it at my rehearsal dinner, just to make sure my fiance knows what he's getting into when I freak out.

Monty is now at the garage being worked on. I haven't heard back from the mechanic, and am getting nervous. I'm not at work today and possibly won't tomorrow as well. /sigh/

Tonight's plans were fun.

I was going to a Junior League gathering followed by a wine and latkes party at JT's.

Yeah...good plans.

Till my car caught fire on Edgewater.

Hazelnut, remember how much you loved lotions and powders and creams that smelled oh so wonderful? And how much you adored bubble baths? And smelling like a girly-girl after your shower?

Well, wasn't it lucky that you found a basket of those things in the back of your cabinet just before your bath tonight and remembered way happier times when you smelled fresh and clean and yummy.

So, do yourself a favor, and be sure to pick up a lot of those things soon at B&BW and Victoria Secret. Then treat yourself to new bottles of your favorite scents. There. Merry Christmas, self.

I've been eating super healthy the last week or so..and all that sugar that was in the fudge wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I will never do that again. Only in itty-bitty small quantities will I indulge.

Ooof.

I'm home again today, studying about fine and gross motor skills in developing children. After an appointment at 11:30, I will be studying math allll afternoon long. I am depending on my short term memory for the math formulas.

/sigh/

You know what eases the soreness of a throat and the congestion of a chest?

Fudge.

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Apparently cold germs are now contagious via DSL, b/c I sound like groovysegue describes herself. I've been squeaking and hacking and clearing my throat and coughing, and then sounding froggy.

I'm home now. And I'm going to call in tomorrow.

Pro: Gives me a day and a half more to study

Con: My head is stuffed full of congestion, how can any more knowledge fit in there?

I went to Barnes & Noble tonight to pick up some more study guides. My heels clicking on the pavement, I walked through a cool Florida night to the brightly lit front doors, and gazed enviously at shoppers leaving the mall arm-in-arm, holding hands, or generally at a level of snuggiliciousnesss.

This is the time that I wish (the most) that I was dating someone seriously. The wintertime is so conducive to me falling in love. I'm softer, more easily manuevered, more sentimental, and ever so much more goofier.

I need a Hades-Persephone kind of deal. Kidnap my heart's desire for the 6 months of winter, then turn him loose for spring and summer, the seasons in which I'm not the happiest person. I don't like too-warm weather.

Feh.

Instead, it's me tonight, alone, watching The James Bond maraton on Spike TV, currently airing Octopussy, my favorite Bond movie with Roger Moore.

Darn good thing I stayed home today from work.

I got up early for a morning run in the wonderful cold, then sat down to do my morning computer workout. I glance out the office window, which faces a busy neighborhood street, and I see a black menace zip by, then stop to sniff a tree and water it.

Apparently, Beeper learned what to do with his paws when it comes to loose dirt under a fence.

I corralled him and put him in the backyard. I filled in the medium-sized hole, then placed a cinder block on top to deter any more digging.

I check on him 10 minutes later, and he's digging on the other side of the block. He sees me watching him, bounds over to me with this pure-pleased light in his eyes: Do ya see? Do ya see what I'm doing? Ain't it cool? I am so good! Are you proud??

I tried to drag him over to smack to show that's a NO-NO, and I step in a pile of dogpoop.

Yeah, Irony, I get it.

I put one of the chlorine jugs on top of that hole, and finally let the dogs back in the house.

Background: I took care of my brother's cat this weekend, and had his housekey till he got back from Tally

Dialogue exchange on the phone:
/ME calling BigBro, and he answers/
BigBro: I am the Gatekeeper, are you the Keymaster?
Me: I am Vince, Vince Clortho, I am the KeyMaster, are you the Gatekeeper?

Yeah...I'm a geek, because I come from a family of geeks.

/deeply pleased with herself/

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
We're gonna do it!

Give us any chance, we'll take it.
Give us any rule, we'll break it.
We're gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin' it our way.

Nothin's gonna turn us back now,
Straight ahead and on the track now.
We're gonna make our dreams come true,
Doin' it our way.

Yeah, Laverne and Shirley rock Orlando-style. Complete with a parking ticket by Officer S.O.W. for parking in a cop-only spot during the night. Irony also walks among us.
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I have to work tomorrow. Damn. Have to get to bed.