hana_broom

I got an email from my dad this morning. Him saying that he's feeling much worse and he thinks that that email to me will be his last :( I want to believe that it is him acting up (as he has been prone to do in the past when ill) but at the same time I don't think anyone would say they're dying when they're not... I told mum about it and she's going to try and ring his wife tonight when it's a reasonable time in the UK. I might try and ring him during the weekend. Though if he's so breathless that might not be possible.

I feel a bit like I'm not quite in my body. I have such a complicated history and relationship with Dad. So much stuff I've just swept aside because he was never able to admit the bad things that happened and I gave up trying to resolve them. I accept that I'll never have answers and really, I don't need them. It doesn't make things any better. 

I don't know if my sister got a similar email from Dad — she's still not talking to me, but mum might talk to her. Who knows? Maybe she'll call too.

Not much else to say, except it might soon all be over :(