There are some stories that you can tell a writer has enjoyed composing, and, likely, whoever wrote the piece for Medical Express reporting on new smart underwear to measure human flatulence was in their element. It follows a University of Maryland project to create a clip-on hydrogen sensor that can be attached to a set of underwear to monitor gaseous emissions.

Lest you think that this research has a non-serious tone to it, it seems that gastroenterologists have incomplete data on what constitutes normal activity. The aim of this research is to monitor a large number of people to create a human flatus atlas that will inform researchers for years to come. Better still, they’re recruiting, so if you’re a regular Johnny Fartpants who misspent their youth lighting farts while drunk and would like to atone, get in touch.

We know that gut problems can be no fun at all, so fart jokes aside, if this research makes advancements in their study, it can only be a good thing. Meanwhile, if you are one of those superproducers they mention, perhaps you need to build the FartMaster 3000.