I'm Sorry
I've felt there are two categories of 'I'm sorry' which many people (including me!) have used:

TYPE 1: the true apology, where the apologist is genuinely interested in changing their actions and/or perspectives. They are generally willing to listen, to learn, to progress, to practice further conscientious behaviour.

TYPE 2: the false apology. We've all encountered it, online and offline. It's an apology of defense. And it's generally repetitive, because it doesn't mean anything so the mistakes keep happening. The apologist continues to think and behave in the same way they always do, with no true intention (subconscious or no) of educating themselves or becoming more understanding of another's situation. They say 'I'm sorry', but because it's false, they will return to their old patterns, make the same mistakes, apologize again.

Some people do this their whole lives without learning a thing and not caring. Others become bitter and resentful that they are 'forced' to apologize so many times for the same things. This leads to blaming the harmed person (or group) for being harmed at all. It's your fault that you took offense.

SEMI-TYPE 2: the passive-aggressive apology. It generally goes "I'm sorry that you're upset" or "It wasn't my intent" or "I'm sorry you took offense". This isn't even an apology, which is why I don't categorize it. It places all the blame or harmful action on the other person and willfully makes the semi-apologist look like a naive innocent. Again, it's another situation of 'it's your fault you were hurt by my actions'.

and a newly added third category -
TYPE 3: the insecure apology. I learned this one from my BFF/roomie, who compulsively apologizes for everything whenever she is personally in a bad headspace. (for example: she'd come home, put her bag down and say "Sorry". She'd say "Can we watch ___ tv show? I'm sorry"). I learned from her that this is an apology that stems from insecurity - she is convinced that her every action and thought makes the other person annoyed. That every opinion she has is wrong. She generally does this if she's stressed out or depressed.

Type 3 is one I had to learn to understand, because I wasn't familiar with it. I have unending sympathy and understanding for Type 3 apologies, because I know it stems from stress/insecurity. However, I did explain to my BFF that her constant apologies then put me in the involuntary role of the daily villain. She put me in a position of constantly disapproving authority - authority that I didn't want or have or encourage. I was cornered there, because then I was obliged to 'forgive' her. It was a false forgiveness, because I wasn't upset in the first place. I didn't want to be a villain, I explained this and we compromised for the better. <3 her.

Any other types of apologies that you have encountered, either online or offline?

http://glockgal.dreamwidth.org/365687.html#comments - comment on DW or on LJ. S'all good!

SAD THING
I had to defriend a couple people yesterday for some massive failitude they expressed about white privilege, thereby mocking my other dear friend's very vulnerable and open LJ post about her experience with that subject.

One of the people I defriended I didn't know well so I was fine with the mutual defriending. The other person was someone I thought I could trust - and I just realized I'm co-modding an art comm with her - this was...a really hard decision. But what she said was SO hurtful (particularly as it was addressed to our mutual friend, which in turn made me loyalty!GRRRR), I don't know if I even want to talk to her about it. The energy it takes to even say something. It's really, really not fun.

Anyway, just to clarify the concept of white privilege to people who are actually interested in knowing about it, but might not have all the facts:

White privilege is not stand-alone. Like all privileges, it is intersectional. Many people enjoy privileges based on their race, gender, sexual identity, social class, physical health etc without even knowing or understanding it. I enjoy many privileges from my physical health (I am young, healthy, and able-bodied), mental health (I do not have any mental illnesses), social class (I am educated and middle-class) and sexual identity (I am straight). Y'see what I mean by 'intersectional'?

There are even some race privileges that I enjoy, due to being categorized (not willingly) into the 'model minority' category - bluntly speaking: because I am not black, I'm generally more 'acceptable' in white standards. I'll stress again: not willingly. But there it is and I acknowledge it, even as I fight against the model minority stereotype.

Just because you have privileges based on certain inborn attributes, does not automatically make you a bad person to underprivileged people. But acknowledging these privileges that you* enjoy is the first step to understanding an underprivileged person when they bring up harmful and offensive issues.

It is not about you. Your inherent guilt does not factor into another person's suffering. Especially if you consider them your friend or someone who you know would not lightly bring up privilege.

So in short:
- white privilege is not the be-all and end-all, and just because you're white and you have white privilege, doesn't automatically mean you are EVIL IN THE EYES OF ALL PEOPLE OF COLOUR.
- it's the same as saying you're a feminist - being a feminist doesn't automatically mean you HATE ALL MEN.
- it's the same as if I, being able-bodied, started ragging on disabled rights groups to stop pointing out able-bodied privilege, because "omg they are so mean because I may be able-bodied, but I'm also poor! So I don't enjoy as many able-bodied privileges as those mean disabled people claim I have!"

Intersectionality in privilege. Acknowledging one's privilege. Empathy to underprivileged. Key points.

I hope this clarifies things for some people? This is something I am willing to discuss. atm. :)

* also, consider that privilege is categorized by a group situation, not you personally. A lot of the privileged groups are considered 'the normal' or 'the default' - like men, able-bodied, white, straight, etc - in modern society. An aspect of a certain privilege may not apply to you personally, but that doesn't render the concept null.
------------------------------------------------


GOOD THING
I didn't watch The Pacific - I don't have HBO anyway - but I did watch the premiere episode of Murdoch Mysteries, Season 3!

EEEEE it started off a little 'hmmmm' but progressed really well and the ending was just 'squeee'. God, I love this show so much, and I'm glad that after the lame awful (OH HEY LOOK - ABLEISM PRIVILEGE CHECK. Very sorry about that. I'm trying to excise that term from my vocabulary) that was Season 2, that Season 3 is showing promise.

Yay little Canadian Victorian murder mystery show! \o/ Don't stop being awesome.