Check dim order in the optimized mm and bmm as the portable ones do - #22355

Summary

Follow-up to #21866, which did the same for the optimized layer_norm.

opt_mm_out and opt_bmm_out carry no dim order check, while portable mm_out and bmm_out each carry two:

ET_KERNEL_CHECK(
    ctx, tensors_have_same_dim_order(in, mat2, out), InvalidArgument, out);
ET_KERNEL_CHECK(ctx, tensor_is_default_dim_order(in), InvalidArgument, out);

The shared check_mm_args and check_bmm_args do not supply them either, so choosing the optimized kernels quietly drops a check the portable path enforces.

opt_mm_out passes raw data pointers to cpublas::gemm with the leading dimensions taken from sizes rather than strides, which describes a row-major matrix only in the default dim order. opt_bmm_out does the same per batch. Thus, the arithmetic also needs it.

This PR adds portable guards to both the kernels, placed in the same position relative to the resize.

Not reachable from export today, in the same way the select_scatter half of #21915 was not, since _get_channels_last_dim_order raises for any rank other than 4 and so a 2D mm or 3D bmm input cannot be given a non-default dim order. It is still worth adding because the optimized kernels are currently less strict than the portable ones with nothing recording that as intentional, and because #16429 asks for these layouts to be supported, at which point the optimized path would return wrong numbers where the portable path errors.

Test plan

A NonDefaultDimOrderDies per op. op_mm_test.cpp and op_bmm_test.cpp are both in _optimized_kernels_test_sources, so the same test body runs against both kernel sets, which makes the gap visible directly:

All three tensors in each test share the same non-default dim order, so the same dim order check passes and only the default dim order check can reject. Both skip under is_aten.

cc @larryliu0820 @manuelcandales @JakeStevens