Offending code below. I mean seriously, I don't even see how multiple versions of Node.js on V8 can exist in the world, let alone stuff like Trireme.

Looks like the undocumented internal "natives" modules needs to work as well. I guess in the meantime we can keep on using a very old version of NPM.

(from "graceful-fs"/fs.js):

// eeeeeevvvvviiiiiiillllll
// more evil than monkey-patching the native builtin?
// Not sure.

var mod = require("module")
var pre = '(function (exports, require, module, __filename, __dirname) { '
var post = '});'
var src = pre + process.binding('natives').fs + post
var vm = require('vm')
var fn = vm.runInThisContext(src)
return fn(exports, require, module, __filename, __dirname)