![\"\"](\"https:\/\/31.media.tumblr.com\/dd5631b0682a4f432f9d5a2807e2ffc7\/tumblr_mza9jvb5mS1qmcif3o1_500.png\" "\\"\\"")
I shall do a more \"me\" personal post later if I get more energy to do that. :D
Note: anything with a <3 is a personal favorite.
Note II: Most posts will be friend locked so click friend me if you want to squee.","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373760.html?view=comments#comments","category":["about me: likes","fandom: everything"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373283.html","pubDate":"Sun, 13 Oct 2013 20:45:38 GMT","title":"Because you lot on here have always been generous! ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373283.html","description":"About 5 months ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes and it has truly changed everything about my life. Not just how I eat and exercise but also how I LIVE. Being a person who can't stand to just sit around, and with the help and encouragement of my best
![](\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/userinfo_v8.png?v=17080&v=915\")
<\/a>wouldbedorothy<\/b><\/a><\/span>, I am participating in Raliegh's Step Out: Walk to Stop Diabetes! If you have a moment, please stop by my personal donation page and read why I'm doing this. If you can, please give. A $5 dollar donation makes a world of difference. Thanks guys!
CLICK HERE: Kat's Step Out Donation Page<\/a>.","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373283.html?view=comments#comments","category":"about me: diabetes"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373222.html","pubDate":"Thu, 03 Oct 2013 20:06:18 GMT","title":"Fic: let's get out of this town (baby, we're on fire) - Arthur\/Eames (Inception Reverse Big Bang)","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373222.html","description":"Yeah, that's right. I've actually<\/i> written something that had nothing to do with classes. *sigh* I have no idea how many people still read this journal but this is a new fandom for me (writing-wise, I've been in<\/i> the actual fandom forevvvver!) so if you enjoy it to then I hope you like. Done for Inception Reverse Big Bang and the fantastic art I chose done by the talented
<\/a>the_secretsigns<\/b><\/a><\/span>. It can be found HEREHEREHERE!!<\/a>! IT IS AMAAAAAAAZING. Note:<\/b> I am now taking down Untouched. Hope you got it but if you didn't then email me and I will get you a copy. Thanks.
Fic Title:<\/b> let's get out of this town (baby, we're on fire)
Pairing(s):<\/b> Arthur\/Eames
Rating:<\/b> maybe R
Word Count:<\/b> 5000+
Warnings:<\/b> violence, mostly schmoop, nothing scary
Summary:<\/b> Arthur and Eames are criminals in love. Everyone knows that.
AO3 Archive<\/a>
let's get out of this town (baby, we're on fire)<\/b>
Ariadne<\/b>
The small curve of a building, the right color of the grass on a hilly knoll, the shape of the world around her required perfection. Or, in some cases, it meant that she had to expose all the flaws in order to make it work. It could cost a job, a mark, sometimes their lives. Ariadne prided herself on getting it exactly<\/i> right.
Details made up her life and made-up details were<\/i> her life.
So how the hell she had missed Eames and Arthur being in love was beyond her.
Later when she thinks about it, Ariadne will be more than a little surprised that it had taken her so long to see it. She can't be blamed for that either, really. Though, she will forever give Yusuf a hard time for not telling her. They were supposed to be the sane ones and stick together. Keeping secrets about their co-workers (okay, friends, because she loves them all) was not<\/i> on.
Regardless, she should<\/i> have been able to figure out the whole situation. She was smart (at least that was what Cobb and Miles constantly told her), and her observational skills had to be pretty keen (because who was the one that figured out the convoluted, psychotic state that was Cobb's angst-ridden maze of a brain? Yeah, that was her, thank you very much) in order for her to do her job. It was in the details, all of it, and maybe if they had been awake, maybe she wouldn't have seen it.
As matter of fact, she knows that she wouldn't have known, because apparently they were damn good at hiding it.
But no matter how much control they had in their dreams, sometimes they couldn't hide the truth from each other.
They were at the tail end of what had turned out to be a more complicated extraction than they had originally planned. The mark had been militarized, which they had prepared for, but they had somehow missed the fact that she was in love with her best friend and not the friend's husband.
(Arthur's face had turned an interesting shade of purple when that had been discovered, and Ariadne remembers their first job and the guilt Arthur still<\/i> carries for not having all the information back then. She figures he is going to be a joy<\/i> to work with in the next few months.)
Eames had been nearly torn apart and Cobb had run interference to get to him. They were two levels down and leaving Eames wasn't an option. (It never was with any<\/i> of them.)
She'd watched Arthur's jaw clench and unclench, the tension in the line of his shoulders as they followed Cobb's and Eames\u2019 progress around a corner. As they disappeared. she touched his arm and said, \"They'll be okay, Arthur. We need to get that information.\"
His dark eyes had flicked over to her before staring for a long moment at the spot where they had last been, and then he nodded, turned and headed back inside.
\"I'll meet you at the lobby level.\"
She nodded but he wasn't looking at her, purpose in his stride, and she watched him leave, wondered as she always did if Arthur realized his own feelings for Cobb. It made something ache inside her chest but she'd let go of that hope some time ago. She kept to the shadows as she made her way down the stairs ten minutes after Arthur had disappeared. Projections were getting frantic on the street level and they needed to be together for the kick into Arthur's dream. The structure of the dream still held, so in that way they were catching a break.
Arthur stood in the lobby, back to a wall, briefcase in hand as she joined him. He glanced at her then back out the door. \"Cobb said they'll be here in a minute.\" He waved a talkie at her and she rolled her eyes, grinning a little. Leave it to Arthur to be always prepared. Eames was right when he called him the scariest Boy Scout ever.
Somewhere in the distance she could hear the beginning strands of music. Cobb stumbled in the door as the swell of sound got louder, holding onto Eames tightly. She watched Arthur rush to his side and practically throw the briefcase at Cobb before grabbing onto Eames. They shifted together until Eames' head leaned onto Arthur\u2019s shoulder. Ariadne came up beside them, hovering in case they needed extra support, when she heard Eames say softly, \"Don't have a fit, darling.\"
She glanced at Arthur, breath catching at the array of emotions that skittered across his face before settling on exasperation. His head turned slightly, lips brushing a quick kiss to Eames\u2019 temple, muttering, \"Shut up right now, Mr. Eames,\" and she felt herself lifted and gone with the last thought that she honestly didn't know her friends as well as she should.
When they woke up in Arthur's dream, there was no time for her to adjust the worldview she'd been mistakenly seeing, because Arthur's projections were already tearing at the walls. The second kick was upon them and when she finally opened her eyes, Yusuf's concerned face looking at her, she breathed easier. Turning her head, she watched Eames assist Arthur out of his chair, caught the way his fingers lingered on Arthur's face.
Her gaze came back to Yusuf and raising one eyebrow, she said,\"Tell me everything.\"
Cobb<\/b>
More times than not, Cobb could be oblivious when it came to his team, to his family. He was good at building things and places. He understood the intricacies of stone, land, curves, angles and colors. But he had never been the one to know feelings, what people saw or did or wanted from each other. That had always been Mal's job. She had an ability to get<\/i> a person, look at them and know what they needed or craved. She could have been an amazing forger, he had always thought.
But once in a while, Cobb could see more clearly than anyone else.
He knew the moment Eames fell in love with Arthur.
In truth, he'd known Eames for longer and much better than he knew Arthur. Unlike Arthur, Eames never bothered to hide his real feelings. He could mask their intensity more stealthily than the rest of them could, but hardly ever when it came to his team. And never when it came to Arthur.
They had worked together on several jobs because Mal liked having the routine of the same people and she only liked working with the best. Their best was always whenever Eames joined in as their forger, despite Arthur's disapproval. Cobb never really understood why that was. Eames was amazing, if a little unpredictable. He was smart, quick on his feet, and despite what people liked to say, he never left anyone behind. It was a steadfast rule of his. One that Cobb admired more than any other skill.
Their first three jobs were flawless and somehow that led to a confidence and arrogance that brought everything crashing down around their ears in the middle of the fourth job. Cobol had never been one of Cobb's favorite clients, but they paid generously and Mal needed the distraction, needed something new and challenging. Eames had tried to talk him around but in the end had joined them reluctantly.
Which is why Cobb wasn't in the least bit surprised at the glare that Eames was sending him when they woke up tied to chairs in a dark, damp factory, and only god knew what country they might be in.
He ignored it best he could, squirming in his seat and working at loosening the bonds around his hands.
\"Can you get free?\"
Eames made a noise that sounded much more mocking than it ought to have, seeing as he was just as screwed as Cobb. His movements were jerky, quick, and probably only making the straps tighter.
\"Eames, I don't think--\"
\"Piss off, Dominic, and let me fucking do-\" Eames\u2019 words cut off as the door swung open and Cobb stared at the two men, bulky and built like barns, as his father would say, looming in the door way. One of them grinned crookedly.
\"Hello gentlemen. I'm glad to see you awake.\"
\"Where are Mal and Arthur?\"
He saw Eames tense, but the man who'd spoken grinned at Cobb. \"Your lovely wife is not far, Mr. Cobb. We are taking care of her, no worries.\" Cobb strained against his ropes, threats and insults crowding in his throat but he choked them back. He needed to keep his head until they could get out of this and find Mal and Arthur. The man's gaze turned back to Eames and there was a flicker of something... dark before it was shuttered away.
Cobb watched Eames carefully, noticed the way he kept his own gaze steady on the man. Eames leaned back into his chair, posture relaxed, and he smirked, saying, \"Marcus. I should have known this cock-up was yours.\"
Cobb continued to work his hands silently, eyes flicking between Eames and their captor. He opened his mouth but the quick flick of Eames\u2019 glare and the almost imperceptible nod of his head shut it again. If Eames knew this Marcus then that meant he knew the weaknesses they would need to get out of here.
Marcus' smile turned feral, ugly, as he sauntered closer to Eames, ignoring Cobb completely. \"I would be careful what I said. I happen to have something of yours and I've been playing a little rough. Don't want to anger me enough to break it, do you?\"
Eames' expression never changed but Cobb saw the coldness that entered his eyes and the way his fingers flexed behind his back. \"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, dearest.\"
\"Really?\" Marcus smiled, sharp and cruel. Eyes never leaving Eames\u2019 face, he opened the door once more and Cobb listened, heard the sound of fist hitting flesh and what was unmistakably Arthur groaning in pain. \"We have been doing that for quite a while and he won't give up any information. It's impressive.\"
Something that sounded like bone cracked and Arthur's groan turned into a scream. Marcus waved a hand and his goon closed the door once more.
\"He will talk eventually.\"
Cobb bit back the no that pressed against his lips. Arthur wouldn't give in. Ever. It was why he was so good at being the point. No one could break him. But he didn't have the same skill and he couldn't let him just--
\"Don't.\"
Eames\u2019 words were terse, harsh, and Cobb glared at him. He knew that Eames and Arthur weren't friends, but--
\"What?\"
Marcus was watching them with interest, serenely smiling at them both. \"Is there something you wanted to say, Mr. Cobb?\"
\"Don't, Cobb. He'll kill them anyway. I know Marcus. He enjoys the bloodshed quite a bit. It's why we had a falling out.\"
Marcus frowned. \"I was disappointed you didn't have the stomach for\u2026 the rough part of our world, Eames. You are a brilliant forger. A great fuck, too.\"
Cobb watched Eames hold back a shudder at that reminder. \"You're the one that's fucked, Marcus.\"
The silence that followed was weighted with things Cobb didn't understand or know, but the one fact he could discern was that Eames was getting ready to act. His own bonds had loosened enough and he assumed Eames had managed to free his hands.
\"Confident about that are you?\"
Eames\u2019 eyes flashed, rage-filled and dark. \"I am.\"
The door burst open on an explosion of gunfire, surprising their two captors, but he and Eames were ready. Marcus and the other man dove behind crates, attempting to avoid the bullets whizzing in the air. Mal was an excellent shot.
\"Dom!\"
\"I'm all right!\"
He watched her throw Eames a knife and in two seconds he was undone, a blur of rage past Dom. He struggled to break his own bonds but Mal came to his rescue, kissing him soundly as she got him free. They turned and watched as Eames shoved the knife in his hand directly into Marcus' throat. Without pause, he fought off the other man, overpowering him and breaking his neck before turning on his heels toward the door.
Mal handed him her gun as he ran out. Cobb heard the sound of the gun in the other room and followed Eames to try to help.
There was no need.
No one except Arthur remained alive in the room.
Cobb's gaze fell on Eames, sitting on the floor with Arthur cradled in his arms. Arthur was bloodied and bruised, face swollen, cuts littering his arms and body. The angle of his leg was wrong and Cobb was sure that fingers on both his hands were broken.
Eames' shirt was removed and he gently wiped the blood from Arthur's eyes and face.
\"You're okay, love?\"
Arthur made a wheezing noise, his one good eye (the other completely shut from the bruising) staring directly at Eames. \"Peachy.\"
Eames looked up at Cobb, eyes glassy, gaze broken, before glancing back down at Arthur. \"We've got to move you, Arthur.\" It was quiet but firm, kind and warm, and Cobb knew.
His forger was in love with his point man.
Cobb thought this would be amazing... or the worst possible thing to happen to them all.
Yusuf<\/b>
Everyone believed he took the inception job for the money, which to be honest was<\/i> one of the reasons on his list. Yusuf liked money. But there had been the challenge of weaving dreams into three levels all folded in together. As a scientist, that had been another good reason. Running his sleep den had gotten tedious and he wanted to go somewhere else for a while. Perhaps the least important reason, really.
But, in truth, getting to meet (and vet, really) Arthur was the number one top reason that he walked into what he had thought would either be his death or just a complete and total disaster.
Yusuf had met Eames long before dream sharing had occurred to either one of them as a career. When Eames had been scamming tourists for rent money and Yusuf had been dealing in pills to keep his own stomach full. The fact that neither one of them needed to struggle, that they had families with enough money to keep them well and truly flush for a good length of their lives, but that neither wanted to live with the shackles that entailed, was the real reason they had become friends.
Real friends were hard to come by in their business (and lives) and taking care of each other was an unspoken agreement.
So Yusuf chose to follow in the wake of Cobb and company in order to both keep Eames alive and<\/i> figure out if his friend's heart was in danger of being broken irrevocably.
In all honesty, he had not been impressed by Arthur. Initially. Oh, Arthur was<\/i> brilliant. He could fix any problem within a short amount of time and any parameters given. He was frighteningly intelligent and sickeningly capable. The best point man Yusuf had ever seen. Eames had not been wrong about that.
Yet Arthur seemed completely oblivious to Eames\u2019 feelings. If he spoke to Eames, it always had an edge or dripped with condescension. Though to be fair, his friend hid his feelings well, behind sleazy smirks and non-subtle innuendos. If you did not know him, that is. But Yusuf was sure that Arthur did know Eames. Which brought Yusuf to the conclusion that Arthur simply did not feel the same.
When inception was finished and they headed in separate directions with strict orders to keep communication to a minimum for at least a month before meeting back up in New York to make sure it had all worked to plan, Yusuf tried to find the words to tell Eames that he could do better. Something in his friend's eyes kept him from doing so. A glimmer of happiness that he couldn't explain. Maybe Eames had met someone. He did not want to ruin Eames\u2019 good time if that was the case.
They met in Los Angeles, then hopped on a plane to New York and caught up with a much calmer-looking Dominic Cobb and his point man. Arthur smiled warmly at Yusuf and greeted him with a cheerful hello. When his gaze turned toward Eames, his smile turned brighter, dimples appearing out of nowhere, and that was completely unexpected.
He took the next job because he wanted to know what exactly he was missing.
Three weeks later he got his answer.
He had been working on a compound that he hoped would allow them to go under more than one level at a time, to control that aspect without having to sleep their way into each layer, and if not erase the possibility of limbo then at least give them a better chance of coming up to the surface if anything should go wrong. He had woken up in his hotel room with the probable solution to what was wrong with his formula, and, knowing he would be alone for a few hours, headed into the warehouse to work it out.
Opening the door, he had noticed the light coming from just inside the large work space that was designated for Arthur. Hoping the point man had not fallen asleep at his desk again, Yusuf quietly made his way in and stopped in his tracks, blinking furiously at the sight.
Arthur had Eames backed up against a desk, hands framing the forger's face as he spoke, too softly for Yusuf to make out the words, but the joy that filled Eames\u2019 eyes was enough of a clue for Yusuf to back away and out the door. Leaning against it, he smiled widely and hoped that he would remember later to congratulate his friend.
Saito<\/b>
He thinks it is amusing watching the dance that the forger and the point man engage in despite the fact that it is obvious to anyone with eyes that they are, for lack of better words, in love. They seem to revolve around one another, never quite touching, never quite understanding, but there, always.
Saito is not aware of their story, not fully. He can see history in their interaction, in the way they place their bodies to protect each other. Arthur counts on Eames to do his job. He doesn't ask or doubt that the forger will. He knows. They are meant in some basic way. It is written in all that they do, even if neither one understands what it means to be what and who they are. He knows they might see others more clearly then they do what they are together.
There is an image of them in his mind from a job he had hired them to do, and insisted on going because he missed dreaming with them in a visceral way that he missed few things. The job had finished easily enough, not flawless but most certainly not inception chaos, and the music swelled, their guide out, and he'd turned to glance behind at the rest of the team for the signal when he caught sight of them.
They stood side by side at the ready, both holding identical stances, tension on their shoulders. Arthur held a briefcase in one hand, no doubt with the information they required, head turned toward his left, his eyes scanning the horizon as the music grew louder. Eames' head was turned to the opposite side, his eyes watching carefully. In the middle, their hands were laced together, fingers intertwined. Locked in place as if that was where they were meant to be.
He was not a sentimental man. Not truly. But that picture stayed with him long after they were awake.
Eames<\/b>
Contrary to belief, Eames wasn't the type of man who gave his affection -- his true affection -- away easily. He'd learned from an early enough age to keep his feelings close to the vest and be careful with whom he shared them. It was one of the few things his family taught him that came in handy for the remainder of his life. But he wasn't someone who shied away from his feelings either. It was an interesting contradiction to live with. It made it difficult to trust but easy to engage with others.
He never gave away everything, always keeping half his heart to himself.
Arthur was the exception to every rule Eames had ever made.
He doesn't remember when he fell in love with Arthur. It wasn't the first time they met (or the second or third), but it was a fact that just... was. One day he looked up at Arthur, sleeves rolled up his arms, hair a bit of a mess from Arthur running his hands through it, brow furrowed in concentration, and he'd thought simply, Oh bloody hell<\/i>.
Then Arthur had been hurt and everything had changed. His world had focused on just one thing: He needed Arthur to survive. The simple thought was a clear fact, a reality he had to deal with. Because Arthur would never see Eames. Not that way. Not for a long time. He knew that much. There was an ache that accompanied knowing that he would love Arthur until it all ended, whatever it all was, but it wasn't painful. It simply was. Continued to be. Would always be.
So he joined Cobb and Mal and Arthur time after time, and when Mal died, sending Arthur and Cobb running, he kept tabs, ran interference when it was necessary, and made sure neither of them knew.
When inception happened, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. They didn't die and no one lost their sanity and Eames counted that as the hugest win of his entire career. It was the hardest job he'd ever pulled but the best (and worst) time he'd ever had in a dream. Which really said more about his own mental state than anything else could.
The best part was Arthur's face when Ariadne relayed how Eames had added the back tunnel to the dream, the snow mobiles, the taking out of the guards, quick thinking that had saved them all. He looked at Eames with wonder and pride and something else in his eyes that Eames wasn't sure he wanted to look at too closely.
\"I had no idea you were so talented, Mr. Eames.\"
Eames smirked and shrugged, saying, \"I have many talents, darling.\"
The gleam in Arthur's eye sent a warmth through Eames, his heart stuttering for a second, and it remained there. Every time Eames looked at Arthur it was there, making something grow inside his chest, hope and want that he'd managed to curtail for years.
They were thieves. They stole ideas and information and thoughts. Sometimes dreams and hopes and lives.
Eames thought it would never work. Trust was hard to come by.
He trusted Arthur despite all that.
Which was the scariest truth to know.
The day that Arthur kissed him for the first time, Eames hadn't been expecting anything. He wasn't even sure what happened exactly.
They had a huge job to prep for and he wasn't even required to be there yet. But Arthur had insisted. They were stuck at work for hours, early morning light filtering through the windows and touching softly on Arthur\u2019s head. Eames watched transfixed, his heart stuttering so hard, he resisted the urge to put a hand to his chest.
He needed to get away from Arthur for a few hours. Exposure to him was painful sometimes, and Arthur... he didn't seem ready yet.
So he'd stood up, met Arthur's curious gaze and smiled tiredly. Maybe there was something else in the smile because Arthur froze when he saw it, glancing at Eames\u2019 mouth before meeting his eyes again.
Eames cleared his throat. \"I'm knackered, darling. If you don't need anything else...\"
Arthur set the file in his hands down on the desk and before Eames could blink was standing in front of him, walking Eames until he was squeezed between the desk at his back and Arthur.
Arthur's hands came up to frame Eames\u2019 face, his thumbs trailing softly against Eames\u2019 jaw, pressing there as he said, \"You love me.\"
Eames' mouth fell open, his first instinct to deny and run, but he didn't. They weren't young anymore. He didn't lie and run away. It wasn't a secret, really. The truth had always been as simple as that. He loved Arthur completely.
\"I have for a long time, yes.\"
Arthur's face lit up and then his lips were touching Eames\u2018, pressing softly, teasing and hot, wet nips that coaxed a groan out of Eames. Arthur\u2019s was mouth warm and insistent, his hands gripping at Eames\u2019 waist, digging hard into his hips. Eames leaned up into it, opened to Arthur's explorations, one hand coming up to grip at Arthur's neck, the other clamped on Arthur's shoulder. The burning of want mixed with a fear that this was a dream, that Arthur would leave and...
Pulling away, Eames inhaled harshly. \"Jesus, Arthur.\"
Arthur's lips skimmed across Eames\u2019 skin, stopping to suck a kiss in one spot, then another. He pushed closer until there was no space between them and leaned away to meet Eames\u2019 eyes. \"You were never going to make a move, were you?\"
Eames protested. \"I was -- I didn't think you were ready yet.\"
Arthur raised one eyebrow, smile turning into a smirk, his fingers tracing the expanse of Eames\u2019 exposed neck, fluttering gently against his pulse before touching their foreheads together. \"I've been ready since I was twenty, Eames. This is seriously the longest fucking courtship in the history of the universe.\"
And Eames\u2019 heart stopped because that meant...
\"I met you when you were twenty.\" As if it couldn't be right. As if Arthur hadn't done the math correctly. As if...
Arthur blinked at him. \"Right.\"
Eames shook his head. \"That can't--\"
Arthur cut off his protest with another kiss, deepened it until Eames couldn't breathe once more, stopping only to whisper into his mouth. \"I've been in love with you from the beginning.\"
Eames closed his eyes, his chest swelling with happiness, and grinned against Arthur's mouth, pulled him in closer. \"You certainly keep a man waiting, love.\"
Arthur grinned back. \"No more waiting.\" His mouth closed over Eames\u2018, seeking permission and laying a siege to conquer.
Eames let Arthur in, kept him close and fit him into those empty places that were Arthur-shaped.
This was the truth of Eames\u2019 life.
Arthur<\/b>
Arthur was in love with Eames.
Deeply and completely and never-ending.
What surprised and thrilled Arthur more than anything was that he liked the man just as much as he loved him. That wasn't something he could have predicted when it all started. Oh, Arthur knew himself well enough to know Eames was going to burrow his way into Arthur's heart until there was nothing left of it but Eames. Had known it from the first time he'd seen Eames.
Love at first sight.
No one would believe it.
The thing was, Eames was easy to love if you let yourself. He was sharply brilliant, kind whenever he could be, scarily efficient. He was loyal to the death if he deemed you worthy. Eames let few people in, but when he did, that was it. You were there forever. Arthur had known that since the Kirby job, when he'd been tortured and Eames had\u2026 Well, Eames had shown his cards then and Arthur had wanted to let him know.
Then, Mal died. And Cobb was lost.
The whole world had changed and Arthur couldn't tell him. Not yet. So he hoped and kept his own feelings locked away so he could do his job.
During inception it was Eames who came up with every solution, who found an angle to work with at any turn where they needed something more. He'd built secret paths and almost been killed trying to keep them all alive. When they were free and Arthur could want, he did. Arthur wanted everything from Eames.
No matter what the world thought, Arthur was neither rigid nor unfeeling.
What he loved most about Eames was that he let Arthur be those things the world didn't know.
Once he'd let Eames know he was wanted and very much needed, they'd found a rhythm to their lives and in their relationship. Between jobs, they stayed in either Eames\u2019 flat in London or Arthur's Victorian in Seattle. Arthur's favorite was actually Eames\u2019 flat. The walls were entire bookshelves that Eames had built into the rooms, stuffed to the brim with books and papers. There were paintings hung every way he turned, a tapestry Arthur was certain had come straight from the Palace, and endless touches of color and life that screamed Eames.
Arthur loved Eames\u2019 study the most. He loved watching the reproductions Eames did come to life, awed by the ease of forgeries that few would be able to identify.
Eames was tactile. Hands and mouth constantly caressing, kissing, touching, worshiping...
He liked to touch Eames back. A lot. Anywhere and everywhere.
Eames had the warmest skin, soft to the touch and hard to resist. It made Arthur come alive from the inside out, made his blood pump and his lungs expand.
Arthur sounded like a complete dork when it came to Eames.
He didn't particularly care that he did.
The best days were the ones where they stayed in bed, no jobs, no meetings or plans with the team. Just Arthur and Eames. That was what he liked best. He turned over, eyes opening slowly and focused on the expanse of skin he found in his line of sight. Tracing the dark curves of ink with his gaze, he let himself look, always hungry to know more, to know everything about Eames.
\"You're doing it again, love.\"
Arthur blinked and brought his gaze up to meet Eames\u2019 amused one. \"Am I?\"
Eames nodded, turning and pressing his face in the space between Arthur\u2019s neck and shoulder. He liked it there and Arthur had no complaints. Eames could reside wherever he wanted on Arthur.
\"You are,\" he mumbled into Arthur's skin, breath warm and wet. \"It's a little creepy, Arthur.\"
\"You like me creepy.\"
\"That is a complete truth.\"
Arthur bit back a grin, wrapping his arms around Eames to pull him closer, legs tangling together under the covers. \"I'm only creepy for you, baby.\"
Eames\u2019 laughter rumbled against Arthur's chest, tremors of heat through his body.
\"That was a horrible, horrible thing to say. Is that what you said on the pull before me? Because that would explain a bloody hell of a lot.\"
There was no one before you<\/i>, he thought. No one that mattered<\/i>.
\"Shut up, Mr. Eames, and go back to sleep.\"
Eames breathed deeply, smiling up at Arthur, and closed his eyes. Arthur followed suit, and right before he fell into the darkness he heard Eames\u2019 voice.
Smiling, he mumbled back, \"Me, too,\" and chased Eames into sleep.","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/373222.html?view=comments#comments","category":["pairing: arthur\/eames","fanfiction: one shot","challenge: reversebb","fandom: inception"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372935.html","pubDate":"Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:57:10 GMT","title":"To the readers of my Nuke story Untouched: ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372935.html","description":"If any of you are still around, anyway, lol.
I hate when authors do this kind of thing without warning so I wanted to take the time and put up a sorta notice.
I am going to be taking down Untouched<\/i>.
*sadpanda*
This wasn't an easy decision because I really enjoy that story but to be completely honest I haven't felt connected to it for a few chapters. It was originally supposed to be about ten chapters but somehow veered off course. (This is why I am trying not to write WIPs anymore, lol.) Anyway, I felt bad about taking it down because I was originally writing it for a friend from fandom and didn't want to disappoint. But since I'm pretty sure she isn't that into the fandom anymore I feel less bad about her but still am sorry to disappoint the rest of you who read.
Though I make no promises I feel that I *may* tweak the story so it ends where I originally had it planned. I hate leaving anything unfinished. So *if* it goes back up, quite a bit of what is written will be revised or completely taken out. *If* I repost it, it will be one whole story OR at least in one whole posting and finished.
So, please take the time to save the story as is right now if you want to keep any scenes that are your favorites which may not be back in a revised version.
I will be taking the story down in one month. That is 07\/11\/2013. Hopefully everyone saves what they want. And if you know anyone that would want to save the story, please let them know.
Alrighty!
<3","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372935.html?view=comments#comments","category":["fandom: atwt","fanfic: series - untouched"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372545.html","pubDate":"Thu, 23 May 2013 22:39:21 GMT","title":"wooooottttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372545.html","description":"
JUST.
WATCH. SHARE. PASS IT ALONG.
BEST. EVER.
\"GO BILBO!\"","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372286.html?view=comments#comments","category":["bestthingever","fandom: star trek"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372153.html","pubDate":"Mon, 25 Mar 2013 02:46:42 GMT","title":"I will miss you forever. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/372153.html","description":"
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/pbs.twimg.com\/media\/BGEOOzsCcAETs7E.jpg:large\" "\\"\\"")
<\/center>So click on the link (OR THE PICTURE) and LIKEY please!!!!
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net\/hphotos-snc7\/578194_348687898564072_782373855_n.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/a>Click here and like her!<\/a>
Thank you!!!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371848.html?view=comments#comments","category":"about me: family"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371580.html","pubDate":"Sat, 09 Mar 2013 01:40:38 GMT","title":"Today is a good day to be a fan. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371580.html","description":"(BUT LJ IS A FUCKING DOUCHE)
First this:
I cannot deal with you, Jospeh. OMG. (Click on the image to see more about Joe's new movie!)
AND THEN! AND THEN!
Sherlock Series Three begins filming March 18 2013<\/a>
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Today is a good day.","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371580.html?view=comments#comments","category":["actor: josephgordonlevitt","fandom: sherlock"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371368.html","pubDate":"Sat, 02 Mar 2013 08:12:25 GMT","title":"50 Books Challenge: Books 1 - 6","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371368.html","description":"First batch read so far. Not a bad start.
1. The Time Keeper<\/b>
by Mitch Albom
genre: fiction\/spiritual<\/i>
Summary:<\/b> In this fable, the first man on earth to count the hours becomes Father Time. The inventor of the world's first clock is punished for trying to measure God's greatest gift. He is banished to a cave for centuries and forced to listen to the voices of all who come after him seeking more days, more years. Eventually, with his soul nearly broken, Father Time is granted his freedom, along with a magical hourglass and a mission: a chance to redeem himself by teaching two earthly people the true meaning of time.
He returns to our world--now dominated by the hour-counting he so innocently began--and commences a journey with two unlikely partners: one a teenage girl who is about to give up on life, the other a wealthy old businessman who wants to live forever. To save himself, he must save them both. And stop the world to do so.
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 4 out of 5 stars. Albom has a sparse literary style that appeals. He says a lot without wasting words. Though it is a narrative about belief, it doesn't preach. I appreciate that. His 5 People You Meet In Heaven<\/i> is still my favorite but this is a great second place.
2. Jana Bibi's Excellent Fortunes<\/b>
by Betsy Woodman
genre: historical fiction\/cultural fiction<\/i>
Summary: Meet Jana Bibi, a Scottish woman helping to save the small town in India she has grown to call home and the oddball characters she considers family.<\/b>
Janet Laird's life changed the day she inherited her grandfather's house in a faraway Indian hill station. Ignoring her son's arguments to come grow old in their family castle in Scotland, she moves with her chatty parrot, Mr. Ganguly and her loyal housekeeper, Mary, to Hamara Nagar, where local merchants are philosophers, the chief of police is a tyrant, and a bagpipe-playing Gurkha keeps the wild monkeys at bay. Settling in, Jana Bibi (as she comes to be known) meets her colorful local neighbors\u2014Feroze Ali Khan of Royal Tailors, who struggles with his business and family, V.K. Ramachandran, whose Treasure Emporium is bursting at the seams with objects of unknown provenance, and Rambir, editor of the local newspaper, who burns the midnight oil at his printing press. When word gets out that the town is in danger of being drowned by a government dam, Jana is enlisted to help put it on the map. Hoping to attract tourists with promises of good things to come, she stacks her deck of cards, readies her fine-feathered assistant\u2014and Jana Bibi's Excellent Fortunes is born.
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 4 out of 5 stars. I was really charmed by this novel and surprised to learn it is Woodman's first one. It brims with a love of India (where it is set) and its characters. Wonderfully funny and witty, it's a quiet sort of novel about every day life, really. India fascinates me so I may be biased but it is a very good read.
3. The Secret Book of Frida Kahlo<\/b>
by F.G. Haghenbeck
genre: historical fiction<\/i>
Summary:<\/b> When several notebooks were recently discovered among Frida Kahlo\u2019s belongings at her home in Coyoac\u00e1n, Mexico City, acclaimed Mexican novelist F. G. Haghenbeck was inspired to write this beautifully wrought fictional account of her life. Haghenbeck imagines that, after Frida nearly died when a streetcar\u2019s iron handrail pierced her abdomen during a traffic accident, she received one of the notebooks as a gift from her lover Tina Modotti. Frida called the notebook \u201cThe Hierba Santa Book\u201d (The Sacred Herbs Book) and filled it with memories, ideas, and recipes. Haghenbeck takes readers on a magical ride through Frida\u2019s passionate life: her long and tumultuous relationship with Diego Rivera, the development of her art, her complex personality, her hunger for experience, and her ardent feminism. This stunning narrative also details her remarkable relationships with Georgia O\u2019Keeffe, Leon Trotsky, Nelson Rockefeller, Ernest Hemingway, John Dos Passos, Henry Miller, and Salvador Dal\u00ed. Combining rich, luscious prose with recipes from \u201cThe Hierba Santa Book,\u201d Haghenbeck tells the extraordinary story of a woman whose life was as stunning a creation as her art.
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 2.5 out of 5 stars. I wanted to like this book because I find Kahlo such a compelling artist and<\/i> woman but it lacked the emotional depth that I would expect from a character like Frida. Half of the book is actual recipes which isn't really a problem but the fictional accounts of what may have happened don't ring true. At times it feels like the book is simply name dropping famous people of the time. It's definitely not one to re-read.
4. A Book of Horrors<\/b>
edited by Stephen Jones - Various Authors
genre: horror\/anthology<\/i>
Summary:<\/b> Many of us grew up on The Pan Book of Horror Stories and its later incarnations, Dark Voices and Dark Terrors (The Gollancz Book of Horror), which won the World Fantasy Award, the Horror Critics' Guild Award and the British Fantasy Award, but for a decade or more there has been no non-themed anthology of original horror fiction published in the mainstream. Now that horror has returned to the bookshelves, it is time for a regular anthology of brand-new fiction by the best and brightest in the field, both the Big Names and the most talented newcomers. A Book of Horrors is the foremost in the field: a collection of the very best chiller fiction, from some of the world's greatest writers
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 3.5 out of 5 stars. Though the book had some misses, (it is a bit uneven) it does overall live up the hilarious (and quite adept) forward by Jones. He claims in his forward that most horror stories now a days are \"lite\" with sparking vampires and government-employed werewolves. I agree very loudly. For the most part the stories are creepy and in two instances completely scared the crap out of me. Stephen King's contribution \"Little Green God of Agony\" is old school and great but the stand outs for me were Peter Crowther's \"Ghosts with Teeth\" and Karl Ajvide Lindqvist's (author of \"Let The Right On In) \"The Music of Bengt Karlsson, Murderer.\" Both have stayed with me long after I finished reading because they take a look into the horror human's manage to inflict on others. I strongly recommend this to horror aficionados.
5. Gone Girl<\/b>
by Gillian Flynn
genre: mystery thriller\/fiction<\/i>
Summary:<\/b> Marriage can be a real killer.
On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne\u2019s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick\u2019s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn\u2019t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife\u2019s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media\u2014as well as Amy\u2019s fiercely doting parents\u2014the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he\u2019s definitely bitter\u2014but is he really a killer?
As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn\u2019t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?
With her razor-sharp writing and trademark psychological insight, Gillian Flynn delivers a fast-paced, devilishly dark, and ingeniously plotted thriller that confirms her status as one of the hottest writers around.
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 5 out of 5 stars. There's nothing -- literally, nothing<\/i> -- I can say about this book because it is just brilliant. Not just the writing style that Flynn has which is dark but hilarious, twisty and breath taking in its ability to make you keep reading even though you know<\/i> the end is not going to be pretty or even remotely what you want but when it gets there all you can do is nod and say \"yeah, that's about right.\" Gillian Flynn has a great narrative voice that gets you inside her characters and whether you love them or despise them, you can't help but wanting to know more about them. Excellent book; highly recommend.
6. The Twelve Tribes of Hattie<\/b>
by Ayana Mathis
genre: historical fiction\/cultural fiction\/literature<\/i>
Summary:<\/b> A debut of extraordinary distinction: Ayana Mathis tells the story of the children of the Great Migration through the trials of one unforgettable family.
In 1923, fifteen-year-old Hattie Shepherd flees Georgia and settles in Philadelphia, hoping for a chance at a better life. Instead, she marries a man who will bring her nothing but disappointment and watches helplessly as her firstborn twins succumb to an illness a few pennies could have prevented. Hattie gives birth to nine more children whom she raises with grit and mettle and not an ounce of the tenderness they crave. She vows to prepare them for the calamitous difficulty they are sure to face in their later lives, to meet a world that will not love them, a world that will not be kind. Captured here in twelve luminous narrative threads, their lives tell the story of a mother\u2019s monumental courage and the journey of a nation.
Rating\/Recommendation:<\/b> 4.5 out of 5 stars. Gorgeous and heartbreaking. That sums up the experience this book was. The twelve narratives grab you and you want to scream at Hattie for what her actions do to her children and scream at the adults those children become for letting that affect them -- which is just something the book focuses on -- children pay the price, always. Yet you understand them, care about them, want to hug every last one of them because you feel the pain there. I loved that Mathis didn't shy away from subjects like sexuality, mental illness, abuse, suicide but she didn't beat you over the head with them in her narrative: they were simply a part of life. Highly recommend this.
![](\"https:\/\/s794.photobucket.com\/albums\/yy228\/svenjaliv\/wordmeter\/png\/greenleft.png\")
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<\/div><\/a>6<\/b> \/ 50
(12%)<\/div><\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371368.html?view=comments#comments","category":["author: various","challenge: 50_books"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371045.html","pubDate":"Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:10:04 GMT","title":"If Luke were an Elemental...","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371045.html","description":"...what would he be?
*blinks and looks around*
Anyone?
No, for serious, I am asking<\/i> you guys because I cannot decide here.
Which would he be?
Noah would be Earth. Like, no question about it. Solid, stable and grounding Noah = Earth.
But Luke?
Fire? Obvious but that doesn't mean not true.
Wind? Boy is<\/i> like a tornado sometimes, unexpected and rash.
Water? Calming isn't a verb I'd use for Luke but could you *imagine* the floods he'd cause if someone pissed him off?
There's always aether which is basically commanding the heavens. Lighting, you guys. Wrath of God stuff. Luke would totes weild that shit.
So...vote please.
(12%)<\/div><\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371368.html?view=comments#comments","category":["author: various","challenge: 50_books"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371045.html","pubDate":"Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:10:04 GMT","title":"If Luke were an Elemental...","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371045.html","description":"...what would he be?
*blinks and looks around*
Anyone?
No, for serious, I am asking<\/i> you guys because I cannot decide here.
Which would he be?
Noah would be Earth. Like, no question about it. Solid, stable and grounding Noah = Earth.
But Luke?
Fire? Obvious but that doesn't mean not true.
Wind? Boy is<\/i> like a tornado sometimes, unexpected and rash.
Water? Calming isn't a verb I'd use for Luke but could you *imagine* the floods he'd cause if someone pissed him off?
There's always aether which is basically commanding the heavens. Lighting, you guys. Wrath of God stuff. Luke would totes weild that shit.
So...vote please.
View Poll: #1898777<\/a><\/div>","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/371045.html?view=comments#comments","category":["misc: poll","fandom: atwt","pairing: luke\/noah"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369923.html","pubDate":"Sat, 19 Jan 2013 23:41:02 GMT","title":"So. Yeah. This happened. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369923.html","description":" ![\"me](\"https:\/\/ic.pics.livejournal.com\/freakykat\/1093160\/128281\/128281_900.jpg\" "\\"me")
<\/center>
\\O\/!!!!!!!!!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369923.html?view=comments#comments","category":["artist: kris allen","my life: ridiculous"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html","pubDate":"Tue, 15 Jan 2013 06:50:36 GMT","title":"THIS IS REALLY THE OFFICAL POST. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html","description":"So I tried to start this in September but um. Yeah. Haven't read ONE damn book! (Tons of fanfic though! :D)
DO OVER!
This is the REALLY<\/i> official post to begin this year's 50 book challenge! I WILL MAKE IT TO 50 THIS YEAR I SWEAR.
Also I want to, again, invite anyone else that wants to do this to join![](\"https:\/\/l-stat.livejournal.net\/img\/community.png?v=556&v=915\")
<\/a>50bookchallenge<\/b><\/a><\/span> and have fun with me this year! The idea for the exchange list continues to be on my mind. Hopefully next month I can post about that!
Official re-start: January 15, 2013
Official end: January 15, 2014
WOOT WOOT WOOT!
HERE WE GO! AGAIN!
<\/div><\/div><\/a>0 \/ 50 books. 0% done!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html?view=comments#comments","category":["year: 2013-2014","challenge: 50_books"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html","pubDate":"Thu, 20 Dec 2012 03:57:52 GMT","title":"Thank you for the awesome cards!!!","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html","description":"I love Christmas time. Thank you so much to<\/a>crownroyal_51<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>icyblugurl<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>moongirl24<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>gaeln<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>sweetiejelly<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>dreamer_98<\/b><\/a><\/span> (I squealed when I opened it up and found Shawn giving me a heart, heeee!!!)!!!
They are all up and around my Christmas tree! I'll post a picture of them all by X-mas!
Look out for your cards this week, guys! :D
THANK YOU AGAIN!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html?view=comments#comments","category":"holiday: christmas"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html","pubDate":"Sun, 02 Dec 2012 01:56:39 GMT","title":"NaNo Fic: Find Your Way Through Me (ATWT, Luke\/Noah, AU) - Chapter Fifteen ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html","description":"So, um, yeah, it's been like 2 years since I updated this sucker. (I KNOW! I KNOOOOW! I AM HORRIBLE!) So I don't blame anyone that doesn't remember OR even care about a new chapter because I mean TWO YEARS. But I have promised I would finish it and this is the beginning of me getting to that.
If you haven't ever read it there's a link to the rest of the chapters down below! If you have been waiting patiently for this, I am so sorry and I promise to not keep you waiting for long! (Outline is done I swear!) For those that remember it but DON'T REALLY remember it here's a quick recap:
Noah Synder and Luke Snyder grew up together, fell in love, and were torn apart thanks to Luke's parents and Noah's guilt. Luke is a psychometrist. Psychometry is a form of extrasensory perception - which in Luke's case comes through touch. He touches objects from other people and can see memories, images and form a mental link with the person who owns the object. Luke suffered a coma during a case and was lost to Noah for almost two years. They stayed apart but a new case is bringing them together. A serial killer they thought long gone is back and they lose one of their own -- Vienna. The impact shakes the core of everyone in Oakdale. Noah fights being with Luke until he can't. They end up with each other again and ready to face things together.<\/b>
So, that's the gist. I mean, there's tons more with other characters but hopefully that helps to remind you all. The story is told in flashbacks to give the reader more background as it goes. :D So, new stuff! ENJOY!
![\"Find](\"https:\/\/pics.livejournal.com\/freakykat\/pic\/000dt3xe\")
banner made by<\/a>kari77<\/b><\/a><\/span> - thank you so much, sweetie!
Title:<\/b> Find Your Way Through Me
Author:<\/b><\/a>freakykat<\/b><\/a><\/span>
Rating:<\/b> NC-17
Chapter:<\/b> Chapter Fifteen
Pairing:<\/b> Luke\/Noah, some other surprise pairings
Summary:<\/b> Where there is darkness, find your way through me.<\/i>
Disclaimer:<\/b> I don't own anything.
Beta:<\/b> Thanks to<\/a>noelleleithe<\/b><\/a><\/span> for her always awesome ninja skills
W\/C:<\/b> 3680
Warnings:<\/b> MAJOR ANGST, some character death, violence
Story Notes:<\/b> Found in Chapter One<\/a>.
All chapters found here.<\/a>
Chapter Fifteen<\/b>
His footsteps echo in the deserted hospital hallway. He preferred being here when he didn't have to face anyone. Noah turned right, stopping at the slightly open door, watched as, Gloria, the night nurse finished her check up. He stepped inside and when she looked up, her usual smile fell immediately.
\u201cOh my god.\u201d She took one step forward but froze when Noah shook his head.
\u201cIt's not mine.\u201d
Her eyes widened and for what seemed like an eternity, Noah waited to see if she would make him leave. But she didn't. Gloria set Luke's chart back into place, passing by Noah's side, touching his arm and exiting without a word.
His gaze fell on Luke's still form and he swallowed down the disappointment he felt. Needing to breath, Noah walked to the bathroom, closing the door silently behind him. He glanced in the mirror, startled at the man in the reflection. His eyes were ringed with dark circles, blood splattered in a pattern on his shirt, soaked into one sleeve. His face was bruised red, cuts and scratches covered most of it.
Noah closed his eyes against the image, burying the rage that flowed through him somewhere deep inside. He washed his hands in the sink, toweling them dry, leaving behind red stains in his wake. He always left pain behind him. Running shaking but clean fingers through his hair, he breathed deep, remembered Dr. Hughes' instructions that Luke needed a calm atmosphere.
He pushed the door open, stepping back into the room, finding the chair he slept in every night where he always left it, blanket folded perfectly on it. He stared at it for a long moment and made a decision. Grabbing it, he rounded the hospital bed, climbing in next to Luke, gingerly laying his head on the half of the pillow that was empty. He pulled the cover over himself and then Luke, leaned into his neck and took a deep breath. Underneath the smell of the IV and medicine, of the staleness that clung to the air in that place, was Luke. It was familiar and love and home.
\"It's over, baby. We got him.\"
The tears pricked hot at the edges of his vision but he blinked them away. \"You can come back. It's safe. I promise.\"
He waited for anything that proved he'd done the right thing but all he got was the sound of Luke's steadying breathing.<\/i>
-- --
Luke woke up alert, eyes opening, clear and present. Ever since he'd come back from wherever he'd been for all that time, it was as if his body couldn't bear to sleep one more second than it had to. Sometimes it was due to the nightmares that plagued his sleep, to the things he'd see but mostly it was because he'd lost too much time already.
Turning his head to the side, he frowned at the empty space where Noah should have been. Scowling as he threw the covers off and found his jeans, Luke tried not to let the disappointment get to him. He'd known it would never as easy as it could be. Not when it was Noah. Not when they were dealing with --
\"You're awake.\"
He jumped, meeting Noah's wide blue gaze, catching the quirk of his mouth when he looked at him. Luke's heart stuttered at the emotion he could see there and he searched for any kind of regret on Noah's face. He felt fear in the trembling of Noah's fingers when he reached up to trace them down the side of Luke's face but with it he saw determination. He tried not to read too much in the gesture.
Noah closed his eyes, sighing so deeply that Luke felt it in his own chest and his stomach dropped to his knees. He opened his mouth to tell Noah that he wasn't going to leave, that he would stay with him until Noah gave in but before he could get a sound out, Noah shifted onto his knees, hands resting on his thighs. Luke closed his mouth immediately.
\"Okay. I know that this isn't-,\" Noah swallowed his words and tried again, \"It's not<\/i> fair, okay? I shouldn't want you to forgive me.\" Luke felt Noah's fingers on his lips and watched as he shook his head at him. \"Let me finish.\"
He nodded, blood pounding in his ears, breath coming in quick burst.
\"I shouldn't accept it like this because I hurt you. No matter how scared I was, I should never have done that to you but -- I'm selfish, okay? I don't know -- I have no idea how to do this without you, Luke. I never have.\" Noah's hands fumbled for Luke's, pulling him up so they were facing each other. \"You know me better than I know myself, Luke. I'm stubborn and obtuse sometimes. It takes me forever to figure out things.\" His hands were warm and Luke breathed in, taking in that familiar scent that was Noah. \"I don't want to do that anymore, okay? I haven't changed my mind again. I want you. Here. I love you.\"
Luke's laugh rattled out his chest and he bent forward, his head dropping on Noah's chest as he let loose all the emotions he'd kept bottled in for almost two years. Everything came out and he felt Noah's hands caressing his skin, skimming over muscles and gripping tight.
\"Luke?\"
The inflection in Noah's voice meant he was worried, unsure and Luke wiped at the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He glanced up at Noah's stricken face and shook his head. It wasn't -- the relief was too great to bear.
\"Are you okay? Baby?\"
He felt that word all the way down to his toes and he pressed his face into Noah's neck, wrapped arms around him and held on.
\"We don't have to rush. I can -- don't be scared because I won't leave again. I'd die first, okay? Believe that.\"
Luke hands tightened on Noah's back. \"Don't die. I don't want that. Ever.\" He pulled back and met Noah's soft gaze. \"Promise?\"
Noah nodded. \"Promise.\"
Luke sighed, kissed Noah softly and felt the whisper across his lips.
\"Stay.\"
\"Always.\"
-- --
Casey glanced up at the knock on his door and frowned. He rolled his eyes at his reflection in the mirror, tugging at the tie that for whatever reason he couldn't get on straight. The second knock was louder, more impatient. \"Coming.\"
He crossed his living room and opened the door with a quick yank, freezing when Jade looked back at him, eyes a little sad, Daisy balanced on her hip. \"Good morning.\"
The image made him ache, want so much that he couldn't think for a moment. Jade raised one eyebrow, mouth twitching with repressed laughter. \"You gonna let us in?\"
\"Yeah, of course. Hi, baby girl!\" He took their daughter, watched as Jade pushed in the stroller into the corner, placing the diaper bag into its seat. It was the purple one with the daisies he'd bought a few weeks before. His gaze flicked up, catching Jade studying him carefully. He grinned at her, watched her face flush and his stomach flipped with anticipation. \"To what do I owe this visit from my two favorite girls in the world?\"
Jade brushed her hands on her skirt, a nervous habit she'd been doing for as long as Casey remembered and bit her lip, straightening her shoulders back after a moment. \"We wanted to invite you to breakfast.\"
His heart joined in on the party. He expected a lot of things from Jade but not --
Her invitation was more than just that.
It was an opening.
Another chance.
The shock made him take too long to respond and he watched Jade's face start closing off. \"If you don't already have plans that is. Jenny can't start until after noon and it's late but I figured --\"
He cut her off mid-sentence. \"I'd love to.\"
Jade gave him a cautious look. \"Yeah.\"
\"Yeah.\" He grinned in agreement, dropping a kiss on Daisy's head. \"What do you say, ladybug, you want to have breakfast with Mama and Daddy?\" Daisy returned his grin and Casey laughed, skin tingling when he heard the same from Jade. He turned his attention back to her.
\"I think we're both in.\"
Jade smiled wide and he let himself hope.
-- --
Noah rang the bell for the third time in a row. It wasn't a surprise to him. His mother was never known for her punctuality and he glanced at his watch. The door opened only an inch, Carly's eye visible in the crack. Realizing it was him, she closed it again, sliding the chain from its lock and pulled Noah into an embrace.
\"Hi, sweetheart.\"
Noah allowed her to wrap him in her arms, buried his face in her shoulder and took comfort from the faint scent of her perfume, the love that radiated from her warmth. \"Hi, Mom.\"
She stepped back, an eyebrow raising in surprise and delight, her mouth turning up into a smile. \"Hmm.\" He touched his cheek, eyes locking onto his and whatever she might have seen there made her smile widen.
He hated that she knew him well enough to guess what might have happened. Still a little mad that she'd called Luke, he stepped through the door. \"Are you guys ready?\"
\"Sage needs a few more minutes.\"
He fidgeted as Carly stared at him hard. He needed to seat down.
\"You and Luke are back together.\"
It wasn't a question and Noah blinked at her a few times. She couldn't have possibly --
Carly snorted, rolling her eyes at him. \"I am your mother. I know everything<\/i>.\"
He stopped on his way into the living room, turning to glare at her and Carly laughed a little, shaking her head. \"Okay. Maybe I just know you really well.\"
Noah shook his head slightly. \"I don't know about that, Carly.\"
\"And we're back.\"
He took a deep breath, turning to face her, meeting Carly's concerned stare. The scariest part of dealing with his mother was realizing how much he still needed her, even after all these years. He remembered what he'd said the night before. \"I want to -- apologize for last night.\"
Carly's face fell slightly and she shook her head. \"Don't. Baby, it's not --\"
\"No, I said a lot of things and it wasn't-\"
She held her hand up and he cut off, watched her carefully as she came closer. Her hands rested on his shoulders and shook him. \"You were upset, Noah. Angry and scared and hurt. It's okay to feel that way and that's what I'm here for.\"
\"To take my abuse? Carly, that's stupid. I'm an adult.\"
She gave him a look that he knew all too well.
\"If you need to yell at me -- and I've done enough things to all of us in this life that it's perfectly reasonable to yell at me -- then you do that. I won't stop loving you.\"
Those words weren't a lie, no matter how many times Noah had tried to convince himself that she didn't mean them. He knew Carly wasn't the same person anymore. That she'd grown up like they all had. He knew she loved him. Loved his brothers and sister. That she always would. Understood that she always would.
He swallowed down emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, sighing as he pulled Carly into another hug. \"I hate you.\"
He felt his mother's smile against his shoulder. \"That's my boy.\"
Pulling back, she patted his face before stepping away, motioning toward the stairs, \"I'll go get your sister.\"
He watched her leave the room, breathed out the tension in his chest, hoping that today wouldn't be as difficult as he knew it would be.
Noah had Luke again.
He could get through anything.
-- --
Henry chose a memorial service instead of a funeral. It was what Vienna would have wanted, Luke thought. The room was colorful, filled with flowers of all kinds and he smiled at the idea that Vienna would have loved that. The room was full, people milling about, talking quietly but kindly. He heard soft laughter, making his heart ache in his chest.
His mother and Damian were standing together near the entrance. Luke glanced away and toward the other side of the room where his father stood with grandmothers. He moved in their direction, ignoring the glare he could feel coming from Damian. He didn't want to deal with him at all.
His mind and heart warred with each other. He wanted to dance with happiness, shout to the world that he had his love back. Those thoughts made guilt throb in his chest. Henry lost the woman he loved more than anything.
Someone bumped him from behind and Luke turned, smiling at Casey. Jade stood just behind him. He reached for his cousin, kissing her cheek before turning to hug Casey hard.
\"Hey.\"
Casey pulled away, smiling sadly. \"I hate this.\"
Luke nodded. \"I know.\"
There wasn't much else to say. Vienna's presence in their lives had been like light and warmth. Her kindness and humor making the hard times easier for those she loved. Luke glanced across the room at Henry, holding onto his son like a lifeline, giving those that approached him a hollow smile. Luke's heart ached to see him, fear threaded through his own mind at the thought of losing Noah the way Henry had lost Vienna.
It wasn't something he thought he'd ever live through.
He looked back at Casey and Jade, watched as their gazes collided before quickly flicking away.
Luke prayed that everyone he loved would be safe from the evil he could feel pulsing in the air.
-- --
Noah clasped his hands together, taking a quick sip from the water in his hand, his eyes falling between Henry and Luke. Something in his gut, sharp and sour, made his fear feel more potent. Not knowing what it could be, he wanted to take everyone in this room and tuck them safely in their homes. It wasn't possible, he knew that. Margo would tell him it was his protective instincts that made him feel like danger lurked in every corner.
His eyes caught Henry moving behind a partition, disappearing from his view and Noah's heart dropped to his stomach. He felt panic rise and before he could think better of it, he moved toward where Henry had gone. His eyes strayed to Luke standing next to Jade and Casey.
Luke meet his gaze, smiled slightly as Noah nodded at him.
Reaching the partition, Noah noticed the stairs that went up, and he followed them, hearing quiet voices behind one of the doors. He stood outside, listening as he recognized his mother's voice.
\"Oh, Henry.\"
There was a sound that clutched at his heart, the softest of cries and Noah leaned his head against the wood of the doors, eyes closing.
\"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. How do I even -- I can't breathe, Carly. I can't.\"
He felt tears escape his closed lids, his own grief magnified with Henry's, memories of what it was like when Luke had been gone rushing back and he stumbled down the stairs, sitting on the bottom one to catch the pain and push it back down.
A shadow fell over him and Noah glanced up to find Luke stood over him, eyes soft with love and hurt. He reached a hand out to run over Noah's head as he sat down next to him. \"You don't have to be strong all the time, baby. I got you.\" Luke pulled Noah closer, one arm sliding over Noah's shoulder and he gave in to the need, resting his head in the crook of Luke's neck.
\"I can't fix this.\" His words stuttered out on a long breath and he felt Luke's fingers curl around his own. \"What -- what I do?\"
Luke leaned his head against Noah's, sighing and shaking as he laced and unlaced their hands together. \"Nothing.\"
Noah tensed and Luke held on tighter. \"Listen to me, Mayer. I know you feel responsible for everything that always happens in the world ever<\/i> but that's not how life works. Life is messy and horrible. And it's beautiful and wondrous all at once. We can't chose what happens but we can hold on to each other when it's ugly. We can love hard and forever. That's what I plan to do with you whether you like that or not.\"
Noah let out a watery laugh and said, softly, \"I'd like that.\"
\"Good.\"
They sat quietly together, hidden away from the grief upstairs and the sadness on the other side of the partition until Noah felt like he could believe Luke.
-- --
Holden relaxed as he watched Luke and Noah appear from behind the staircase where they'd been sitting together for twenty minutes. He'd been prepared to go to them, find out how he could help, offer the bit of comfort he could to his boys but -- they weren't boys anymore. They were men who'd lived a hundred lifetimes in the course of barely living one and he knew that whatever came their way, they could handle.
Luke leaned his head on Noah's shoulder for a moment, whispering something that made the other man's mouth twitch up in an almost smile. Holden breathed a sigh of relief. He'd suspected that something had changed between them and the proof of it was in front of him.
\"Does that mean what I think it does?\"
Holden startled at Lily's voice, turning to give her a quick but happy smile. \"Looks like.\"
Surprising him as she always did, Lily sighed quietly. \"I'm glad about that.\" At the incredulous look he gave her face tensed and she directed her gaze to the people milling around them. \"I am, Holden.\"
He nodded. \"I didn't say anything.\"
\"You didn't have to.\"
Holden turned toward Lily and waited until she finally meet his gaze. \"Do you remember what you said to Noah, Lily?\" When she paled slightly, he felt a twinge of guilt and that old feeling of wanting to be her comfort but he needed her to understand because she hadn't been there to pick up the pieces of what she'd done. \"You told him he was the worst thing to have ever happened to Luke. You said those words, Lily.\"
\"I know what I said. Can't you just -- Noah has let it go, why can't you?\" Lily wrung her hands together, looking for all the world like she wanted to run. But that was always what she did.
\"You think he let that go? Really? We were family, Lily. We've known Noah since he was a boy. He's been there for Luke and for us through everything. And you think one apology in the midst of your guilt trip because you wanted something from him is going to make up for it.\"
Lily shook next to him, tears filling her eyes but he couldn't seem to stop. He'd been wanting to say these things to her for a long time.
\"He loves Luke. More than his own life, Lily. He was family and you treated him like nothing. You kept him away from our son when he needed Noah the most. That's what you did.\"
Threading his hand over his hair, Holden shook his head, laughing roughly, mirthlessly. \"I wish I could say that I blamed your husband for all that but it wasn't Damian. It was you.\"
Lily's anger flared and she turned on Holden, eyes flashing. \"What am I supposed to do about that now? I can't change it.\"
She couldn't.
He knew that but he wished she'd at least try.
\"Of course you can't. I don't expect anything more from you, Lily.\"
The worst of it all was that he still loved her. Completely. It pained him to admit it to himself and hell would freeze over before he admitted to anyone, but he did. Just his luck.
Sighing, he held his hands up in surrender. \"You know. I'm sorry. This isn't -- it's between you and Noah. If he's let it go, as you say, then I shouldn't bring it up.\"
Lily swallowed before nodding quickly. \"Thank you.\"
Holden gestured toward the small crowd of his family congregating near the front of the room. \"I should get over there.\" He moved toward them and felt Lily's stare on him the whole way. Before he reached his destination, there are raised voices from the corner. Holden froze as he recognized one as Noah's and the other -- Damian.
\"Damn it,\" he cursed as he rushed toward them.
-- --
\"Get the hell out of my face, Grimaldi.\"
\"Crude as always, Noah.\"
Noah felt the rage raising slowly through him, hands fists at his side as he breathed through his nose, trying to remain calm. He would not cause a scene. He couldn't do that to Henry.
\"I have no idea what your problem is, Damian, but attacking me at a funeral doesn't look too good so you know. Back off.\"
\"I will go when you leave my son alone.\"
Noah shook his head. \"That's not your call.\"
\"Almost killing him once wasn't enough. You're no good for him and you know it. At least I thought you did but apparently I was wrong. He will not be put in danger again because of you.\"
The accusations hit exactly where they were meant to and Noah couldn't stop the way his heart stuttered against his chest. He had hurt Luke. He was selfish. He couldn't --
Holden stood next to him and Noah could feel his anger radiating out to Damian.
Margo was standing at his side in the next second, one hand on his arm as she turned a blistering glare at Damian. \"This is not the place, Damian.\"
Damian shrugged. \"I am protecting my son from this piece of --\"
The words stuck in Damian's mouth as his head was thrown back by a fist to his face. Noah looked down at his hands, wondering if he had lost himself enough to actually hit Damian but when he paid attention he realized Luke was standing in front of Damian, heaving with rage, his fist bruised at his side.
Luke's voice was steady as he spoke. Never a good sign, Noah thought.
\"You were the one that sent me to that place. Took me away from Noah.\"
Damian held one hand to his nose, eyes softening as he reached for Luke. \"I was protecting you.\"
\"From the one person that could bring me back?\" Luke backed away, leaning closer to Noah, seeking him out. \"I spent months lost, Damian, because I needed Noah to -- you never understood what the connection we have is, did you?\"
Noah stepped up, hands on Luke's shoulders. \"Baby, stop. It's not worth it.\"
But Luke couldn't ever be stopped once he started and he glared at Damian. \"I can't breath without him. It's like -- living in a haze. I've hated it. Every single minute. That's what he is to me. Air and life. You took that away when I needed it the most. You left me in that limbo, alone and scared, for so long that I never thought I'd be back.\" He pointed one finger at Damian, and Noah heard the hate thrumming through Luke's voice. \"You did that.\"
\"This isn't the place for this, sweetheart.\"
Luke heard him finally through whatever was happening in his head and turned to Noah, eyes wide with shock. Noah touched his face. \"It's okay. We'll go.\" Henry would understand.
Noah pulled at Luke's arms, guided him out the doors while the buzz of conversation continued around them. He glanced behind, catching Margo speaking to Lily, her body language anger. Holden was addressing the crowd that had gathered, reminding them they were there for Vienna. Carly stood next to Henry, casting raged-filled glanced at Damian while comforting her friend. Noah would need to make sure she didn't do anything crazy later.
Holden and Margo would take care of the rest of it.
His job was to take care of Luke and he'd spent too long not doing that.
That was all that mattered to Noah.
|Chapter Sixteen|","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html?view=comments#comments","category":["fandom: atwt","pairing: luke\/noah","nanofic: find your way"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html","pubDate":"Sat, 01 Dec 2012 16:43:30 GMT","title":"Didn't make it but I tried. :D ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html","description":"![\"some_text\"](\"https:\/\/imgprx.livejournal.net\/176a275be1b613504dcaf45e99071b117c0027589a511f0b048dfb30c5c571be\/P2WlxyVijxKgh2tu_slUV0Mdsf-ah7h02UeOQqEdjN_d5x3agY-pDV4yBVVkH0N1uktSlCmQbBFCUlwNkxd2rRZe2TrNPf2AolxZqBRyZUC8QrHW5pgBuWxCqhtxaHsY_lzxpzsVNJkoWHocchqLuBIy:Z2KFyq9VffqE2EFhrW06zg\")
<\/center>
Next year!
Congrats to all my friends that participated and those who also won! RIGHT ON!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html?view=comments#comments","category":"writing: nanowri2012"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368033.html","pubDate":"Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:40:10 GMT","title":"THIS IS AWESOME. YOU ALL NEED TO LIKE GO. NOW. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368033.html","description":"Nuke Anon Challenge #11<\/b>
Originally posted by<\/a>sweetiejelly<\/b><\/a><\/span> at Nuke Anon Challenge #11<\/a>
<\/center>\\O\/!!!!!!!!!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369923.html?view=comments#comments","category":["artist: kris allen","my life: ridiculous"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html","pubDate":"Tue, 15 Jan 2013 06:50:36 GMT","title":"THIS IS REALLY THE OFFICAL POST. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html","description":"So I tried to start this in September but um. Yeah. Haven't read ONE damn book! (Tons of fanfic though! :D)
DO OVER!
This is the REALLY<\/i> official post to begin this year's 50 book challenge! I WILL MAKE IT TO 50 THIS YEAR I SWEAR.
Also I want to, again, invite anyone else that wants to do this to join
<\/a>50bookchallenge<\/b><\/a><\/span> and have fun with me this year! The idea for the exchange list continues to be on my mind. Hopefully next month I can post about that! Official re-start: January 15, 2013
Official end: January 15, 2014
WOOT WOOT WOOT!
HERE WE GO! AGAIN!
<\/div><\/div><\/a>0 \/ 50 books. 0% done!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369803.html?view=comments#comments","category":["year: 2013-2014","challenge: 50_books"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html","pubDate":"Thu, 20 Dec 2012 03:57:52 GMT","title":"Thank you for the awesome cards!!!","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html","description":"I love Christmas time. Thank you so much to
<\/a>crownroyal_51<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>icyblugurl<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>moongirl24<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>gaeln<\/b><\/a><\/span>, <\/a>sweetiejelly<\/b><\/a><\/span> and <\/a>dreamer_98<\/b><\/a><\/span> (I squealed when I opened it up and found Shawn giving me a heart, heeee!!!)!!!They are all up and around my Christmas tree! I'll post a picture of them all by X-mas!
Look out for your cards this week, guys! :D
THANK YOU AGAIN!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369454.html?view=comments#comments","category":"holiday: christmas"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html","pubDate":"Sun, 02 Dec 2012 01:56:39 GMT","title":"NaNo Fic: Find Your Way Through Me (ATWT, Luke\/Noah, AU) - Chapter Fifteen ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html","description":"So, um, yeah, it's been like 2 years since I updated this sucker. (I KNOW! I KNOOOOW! I AM HORRIBLE!) So I don't blame anyone that doesn't remember OR even care about a new chapter because I mean TWO YEARS. But I have promised I would finish it and this is the beginning of me getting to that.
If you haven't ever read it there's a link to the rest of the chapters down below! If you have been waiting patiently for this, I am so sorry and I promise to not keep you waiting for long! (Outline is done I swear!) For those that remember it but DON'T REALLY remember it here's a quick recap:
Noah Synder and Luke Snyder grew up together, fell in love, and were torn apart thanks to Luke's parents and Noah's guilt. Luke is a psychometrist. Psychometry is a form of extrasensory perception - which in Luke's case comes through touch. He touches objects from other people and can see memories, images and form a mental link with the person who owns the object. Luke suffered a coma during a case and was lost to Noah for almost two years. They stayed apart but a new case is bringing them together. A serial killer they thought long gone is back and they lose one of their own -- Vienna. The impact shakes the core of everyone in Oakdale. Noah fights being with Luke until he can't. They end up with each other again and ready to face things together.<\/b>
So, that's the gist. I mean, there's tons more with other characters but hopefully that helps to remind you all. The story is told in flashbacks to give the reader more background as it goes. :D So, new stuff! ENJOY!
banner made by
<\/a>kari77<\/b><\/a><\/span> - thank you so much, sweetie!Title:<\/b> Find Your Way Through Me
Author:<\/b>
<\/a>freakykat<\/b><\/a><\/span>Rating:<\/b> NC-17
Chapter:<\/b> Chapter Fifteen
Pairing:<\/b> Luke\/Noah, some other surprise pairings
Summary:<\/b> Where there is darkness, find your way through me.<\/i>
Disclaimer:<\/b> I don't own anything.
Beta:<\/b> Thanks to
<\/a>noelleleithe<\/b><\/a><\/span> for her always awesome ninja skillsW\/C:<\/b> 3680
Warnings:<\/b> MAJOR ANGST, some character death, violence
Story Notes:<\/b> Found in Chapter One<\/a>.
All chapters found here.<\/a>
Chapter Fifteen<\/b>
His footsteps echo in the deserted hospital hallway. He preferred being here when he didn't have to face anyone. Noah turned right, stopping at the slightly open door, watched as, Gloria, the night nurse finished her check up. He stepped inside and when she looked up, her usual smile fell immediately.
\u201cOh my god.\u201d She took one step forward but froze when Noah shook his head.
\u201cIt's not mine.\u201d
Her eyes widened and for what seemed like an eternity, Noah waited to see if she would make him leave. But she didn't. Gloria set Luke's chart back into place, passing by Noah's side, touching his arm and exiting without a word.
His gaze fell on Luke's still form and he swallowed down the disappointment he felt. Needing to breath, Noah walked to the bathroom, closing the door silently behind him. He glanced in the mirror, startled at the man in the reflection. His eyes were ringed with dark circles, blood splattered in a pattern on his shirt, soaked into one sleeve. His face was bruised red, cuts and scratches covered most of it.
Noah closed his eyes against the image, burying the rage that flowed through him somewhere deep inside. He washed his hands in the sink, toweling them dry, leaving behind red stains in his wake. He always left pain behind him. Running shaking but clean fingers through his hair, he breathed deep, remembered Dr. Hughes' instructions that Luke needed a calm atmosphere.
He pushed the door open, stepping back into the room, finding the chair he slept in every night where he always left it, blanket folded perfectly on it. He stared at it for a long moment and made a decision. Grabbing it, he rounded the hospital bed, climbing in next to Luke, gingerly laying his head on the half of the pillow that was empty. He pulled the cover over himself and then Luke, leaned into his neck and took a deep breath. Underneath the smell of the IV and medicine, of the staleness that clung to the air in that place, was Luke. It was familiar and love and home.
\"It's over, baby. We got him.\"
The tears pricked hot at the edges of his vision but he blinked them away. \"You can come back. It's safe. I promise.\"
He waited for anything that proved he'd done the right thing but all he got was the sound of Luke's steadying breathing.<\/i>
-- --
Luke woke up alert, eyes opening, clear and present. Ever since he'd come back from wherever he'd been for all that time, it was as if his body couldn't bear to sleep one more second than it had to. Sometimes it was due to the nightmares that plagued his sleep, to the things he'd see but mostly it was because he'd lost too much time already.
Turning his head to the side, he frowned at the empty space where Noah should have been. Scowling as he threw the covers off and found his jeans, Luke tried not to let the disappointment get to him. He'd known it would never as easy as it could be. Not when it was Noah. Not when they were dealing with --
\"You're awake.\"
He jumped, meeting Noah's wide blue gaze, catching the quirk of his mouth when he looked at him. Luke's heart stuttered at the emotion he could see there and he searched for any kind of regret on Noah's face. He felt fear in the trembling of Noah's fingers when he reached up to trace them down the side of Luke's face but with it he saw determination. He tried not to read too much in the gesture.
Noah closed his eyes, sighing so deeply that Luke felt it in his own chest and his stomach dropped to his knees. He opened his mouth to tell Noah that he wasn't going to leave, that he would stay with him until Noah gave in but before he could get a sound out, Noah shifted onto his knees, hands resting on his thighs. Luke closed his mouth immediately.
\"Okay. I know that this isn't-,\" Noah swallowed his words and tried again, \"It's not<\/i> fair, okay? I shouldn't want you to forgive me.\" Luke felt Noah's fingers on his lips and watched as he shook his head at him. \"Let me finish.\"
He nodded, blood pounding in his ears, breath coming in quick burst.
\"I shouldn't accept it like this because I hurt you. No matter how scared I was, I should never have done that to you but -- I'm selfish, okay? I don't know -- I have no idea how to do this without you, Luke. I never have.\" Noah's hands fumbled for Luke's, pulling him up so they were facing each other. \"You know me better than I know myself, Luke. I'm stubborn and obtuse sometimes. It takes me forever to figure out things.\" His hands were warm and Luke breathed in, taking in that familiar scent that was Noah. \"I don't want to do that anymore, okay? I haven't changed my mind again. I want you. Here. I love you.\"
Luke's laugh rattled out his chest and he bent forward, his head dropping on Noah's chest as he let loose all the emotions he'd kept bottled in for almost two years. Everything came out and he felt Noah's hands caressing his skin, skimming over muscles and gripping tight.
\"Luke?\"
The inflection in Noah's voice meant he was worried, unsure and Luke wiped at the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He glanced up at Noah's stricken face and shook his head. It wasn't -- the relief was too great to bear.
\"Are you okay? Baby?\"
He felt that word all the way down to his toes and he pressed his face into Noah's neck, wrapped arms around him and held on.
\"We don't have to rush. I can -- don't be scared because I won't leave again. I'd die first, okay? Believe that.\"
Luke hands tightened on Noah's back. \"Don't die. I don't want that. Ever.\" He pulled back and met Noah's soft gaze. \"Promise?\"
Noah nodded. \"Promise.\"
Luke sighed, kissed Noah softly and felt the whisper across his lips.
\"Stay.\"
\"Always.\"
-- --
Casey glanced up at the knock on his door and frowned. He rolled his eyes at his reflection in the mirror, tugging at the tie that for whatever reason he couldn't get on straight. The second knock was louder, more impatient. \"Coming.\"
He crossed his living room and opened the door with a quick yank, freezing when Jade looked back at him, eyes a little sad, Daisy balanced on her hip. \"Good morning.\"
The image made him ache, want so much that he couldn't think for a moment. Jade raised one eyebrow, mouth twitching with repressed laughter. \"You gonna let us in?\"
\"Yeah, of course. Hi, baby girl!\" He took their daughter, watched as Jade pushed in the stroller into the corner, placing the diaper bag into its seat. It was the purple one with the daisies he'd bought a few weeks before. His gaze flicked up, catching Jade studying him carefully. He grinned at her, watched her face flush and his stomach flipped with anticipation. \"To what do I owe this visit from my two favorite girls in the world?\"
Jade brushed her hands on her skirt, a nervous habit she'd been doing for as long as Casey remembered and bit her lip, straightening her shoulders back after a moment. \"We wanted to invite you to breakfast.\"
His heart joined in on the party. He expected a lot of things from Jade but not --
Her invitation was more than just that.
It was an opening.
Another chance.
The shock made him take too long to respond and he watched Jade's face start closing off. \"If you don't already have plans that is. Jenny can't start until after noon and it's late but I figured --\"
He cut her off mid-sentence. \"I'd love to.\"
Jade gave him a cautious look. \"Yeah.\"
\"Yeah.\" He grinned in agreement, dropping a kiss on Daisy's head. \"What do you say, ladybug, you want to have breakfast with Mama and Daddy?\" Daisy returned his grin and Casey laughed, skin tingling when he heard the same from Jade. He turned his attention back to her.
\"I think we're both in.\"
Jade smiled wide and he let himself hope.
-- --
Noah rang the bell for the third time in a row. It wasn't a surprise to him. His mother was never known for her punctuality and he glanced at his watch. The door opened only an inch, Carly's eye visible in the crack. Realizing it was him, she closed it again, sliding the chain from its lock and pulled Noah into an embrace.
\"Hi, sweetheart.\"
Noah allowed her to wrap him in her arms, buried his face in her shoulder and took comfort from the faint scent of her perfume, the love that radiated from her warmth. \"Hi, Mom.\"
She stepped back, an eyebrow raising in surprise and delight, her mouth turning up into a smile. \"Hmm.\" He touched his cheek, eyes locking onto his and whatever she might have seen there made her smile widen.
He hated that she knew him well enough to guess what might have happened. Still a little mad that she'd called Luke, he stepped through the door. \"Are you guys ready?\"
\"Sage needs a few more minutes.\"
He fidgeted as Carly stared at him hard. He needed to seat down.
\"You and Luke are back together.\"
It wasn't a question and Noah blinked at her a few times. She couldn't have possibly --
Carly snorted, rolling her eyes at him. \"I am your mother. I know everything<\/i>.\"
He stopped on his way into the living room, turning to glare at her and Carly laughed a little, shaking her head. \"Okay. Maybe I just know you really well.\"
Noah shook his head slightly. \"I don't know about that, Carly.\"
\"And we're back.\"
He took a deep breath, turning to face her, meeting Carly's concerned stare. The scariest part of dealing with his mother was realizing how much he still needed her, even after all these years. He remembered what he'd said the night before. \"I want to -- apologize for last night.\"
Carly's face fell slightly and she shook her head. \"Don't. Baby, it's not --\"
\"No, I said a lot of things and it wasn't-\"
She held her hand up and he cut off, watched her carefully as she came closer. Her hands rested on his shoulders and shook him. \"You were upset, Noah. Angry and scared and hurt. It's okay to feel that way and that's what I'm here for.\"
\"To take my abuse? Carly, that's stupid. I'm an adult.\"
She gave him a look that he knew all too well.
\"If you need to yell at me -- and I've done enough things to all of us in this life that it's perfectly reasonable to yell at me -- then you do that. I won't stop loving you.\"
Those words weren't a lie, no matter how many times Noah had tried to convince himself that she didn't mean them. He knew Carly wasn't the same person anymore. That she'd grown up like they all had. He knew she loved him. Loved his brothers and sister. That she always would. Understood that she always would.
He swallowed down emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, sighing as he pulled Carly into another hug. \"I hate you.\"
He felt his mother's smile against his shoulder. \"That's my boy.\"
Pulling back, she patted his face before stepping away, motioning toward the stairs, \"I'll go get your sister.\"
He watched her leave the room, breathed out the tension in his chest, hoping that today wouldn't be as difficult as he knew it would be.
Noah had Luke again.
He could get through anything.
-- --
Henry chose a memorial service instead of a funeral. It was what Vienna would have wanted, Luke thought. The room was colorful, filled with flowers of all kinds and he smiled at the idea that Vienna would have loved that. The room was full, people milling about, talking quietly but kindly. He heard soft laughter, making his heart ache in his chest.
His mother and Damian were standing together near the entrance. Luke glanced away and toward the other side of the room where his father stood with grandmothers. He moved in their direction, ignoring the glare he could feel coming from Damian. He didn't want to deal with him at all.
His mind and heart warred with each other. He wanted to dance with happiness, shout to the world that he had his love back. Those thoughts made guilt throb in his chest. Henry lost the woman he loved more than anything.
Someone bumped him from behind and Luke turned, smiling at Casey. Jade stood just behind him. He reached for his cousin, kissing her cheek before turning to hug Casey hard.
\"Hey.\"
Casey pulled away, smiling sadly. \"I hate this.\"
Luke nodded. \"I know.\"
There wasn't much else to say. Vienna's presence in their lives had been like light and warmth. Her kindness and humor making the hard times easier for those she loved. Luke glanced across the room at Henry, holding onto his son like a lifeline, giving those that approached him a hollow smile. Luke's heart ached to see him, fear threaded through his own mind at the thought of losing Noah the way Henry had lost Vienna.
It wasn't something he thought he'd ever live through.
He looked back at Casey and Jade, watched as their gazes collided before quickly flicking away.
Luke prayed that everyone he loved would be safe from the evil he could feel pulsing in the air.
-- --
Noah clasped his hands together, taking a quick sip from the water in his hand, his eyes falling between Henry and Luke. Something in his gut, sharp and sour, made his fear feel more potent. Not knowing what it could be, he wanted to take everyone in this room and tuck them safely in their homes. It wasn't possible, he knew that. Margo would tell him it was his protective instincts that made him feel like danger lurked in every corner.
His eyes caught Henry moving behind a partition, disappearing from his view and Noah's heart dropped to his stomach. He felt panic rise and before he could think better of it, he moved toward where Henry had gone. His eyes strayed to Luke standing next to Jade and Casey.
Luke meet his gaze, smiled slightly as Noah nodded at him.
Reaching the partition, Noah noticed the stairs that went up, and he followed them, hearing quiet voices behind one of the doors. He stood outside, listening as he recognized his mother's voice.
\"Oh, Henry.\"
There was a sound that clutched at his heart, the softest of cries and Noah leaned his head against the wood of the doors, eyes closing.
\"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. How do I even -- I can't breathe, Carly. I can't.\"
He felt tears escape his closed lids, his own grief magnified with Henry's, memories of what it was like when Luke had been gone rushing back and he stumbled down the stairs, sitting on the bottom one to catch the pain and push it back down.
A shadow fell over him and Noah glanced up to find Luke stood over him, eyes soft with love and hurt. He reached a hand out to run over Noah's head as he sat down next to him. \"You don't have to be strong all the time, baby. I got you.\" Luke pulled Noah closer, one arm sliding over Noah's shoulder and he gave in to the need, resting his head in the crook of Luke's neck.
\"I can't fix this.\" His words stuttered out on a long breath and he felt Luke's fingers curl around his own. \"What -- what I do?\"
Luke leaned his head against Noah's, sighing and shaking as he laced and unlaced their hands together. \"Nothing.\"
Noah tensed and Luke held on tighter. \"Listen to me, Mayer. I know you feel responsible for everything that always happens in the world ever<\/i> but that's not how life works. Life is messy and horrible. And it's beautiful and wondrous all at once. We can't chose what happens but we can hold on to each other when it's ugly. We can love hard and forever. That's what I plan to do with you whether you like that or not.\"
Noah let out a watery laugh and said, softly, \"I'd like that.\"
\"Good.\"
They sat quietly together, hidden away from the grief upstairs and the sadness on the other side of the partition until Noah felt like he could believe Luke.
-- --
Holden relaxed as he watched Luke and Noah appear from behind the staircase where they'd been sitting together for twenty minutes. He'd been prepared to go to them, find out how he could help, offer the bit of comfort he could to his boys but -- they weren't boys anymore. They were men who'd lived a hundred lifetimes in the course of barely living one and he knew that whatever came their way, they could handle.
Luke leaned his head on Noah's shoulder for a moment, whispering something that made the other man's mouth twitch up in an almost smile. Holden breathed a sigh of relief. He'd suspected that something had changed between them and the proof of it was in front of him.
\"Does that mean what I think it does?\"
Holden startled at Lily's voice, turning to give her a quick but happy smile. \"Looks like.\"
Surprising him as she always did, Lily sighed quietly. \"I'm glad about that.\" At the incredulous look he gave her face tensed and she directed her gaze to the people milling around them. \"I am, Holden.\"
He nodded. \"I didn't say anything.\"
\"You didn't have to.\"
Holden turned toward Lily and waited until she finally meet his gaze. \"Do you remember what you said to Noah, Lily?\" When she paled slightly, he felt a twinge of guilt and that old feeling of wanting to be her comfort but he needed her to understand because she hadn't been there to pick up the pieces of what she'd done. \"You told him he was the worst thing to have ever happened to Luke. You said those words, Lily.\"
\"I know what I said. Can't you just -- Noah has let it go, why can't you?\" Lily wrung her hands together, looking for all the world like she wanted to run. But that was always what she did.
\"You think he let that go? Really? We were family, Lily. We've known Noah since he was a boy. He's been there for Luke and for us through everything. And you think one apology in the midst of your guilt trip because you wanted something from him is going to make up for it.\"
Lily shook next to him, tears filling her eyes but he couldn't seem to stop. He'd been wanting to say these things to her for a long time.
\"He loves Luke. More than his own life, Lily. He was family and you treated him like nothing. You kept him away from our son when he needed Noah the most. That's what you did.\"
Threading his hand over his hair, Holden shook his head, laughing roughly, mirthlessly. \"I wish I could say that I blamed your husband for all that but it wasn't Damian. It was you.\"
Lily's anger flared and she turned on Holden, eyes flashing. \"What am I supposed to do about that now? I can't change it.\"
She couldn't.
He knew that but he wished she'd at least try.
\"Of course you can't. I don't expect anything more from you, Lily.\"
The worst of it all was that he still loved her. Completely. It pained him to admit it to himself and hell would freeze over before he admitted to anyone, but he did. Just his luck.
Sighing, he held his hands up in surrender. \"You know. I'm sorry. This isn't -- it's between you and Noah. If he's let it go, as you say, then I shouldn't bring it up.\"
Lily swallowed before nodding quickly. \"Thank you.\"
Holden gestured toward the small crowd of his family congregating near the front of the room. \"I should get over there.\" He moved toward them and felt Lily's stare on him the whole way. Before he reached his destination, there are raised voices from the corner. Holden froze as he recognized one as Noah's and the other -- Damian.
\"Damn it,\" he cursed as he rushed toward them.
-- --
\"Get the hell out of my face, Grimaldi.\"
\"Crude as always, Noah.\"
Noah felt the rage raising slowly through him, hands fists at his side as he breathed through his nose, trying to remain calm. He would not cause a scene. He couldn't do that to Henry.
\"I have no idea what your problem is, Damian, but attacking me at a funeral doesn't look too good so you know. Back off.\"
\"I will go when you leave my son alone.\"
Noah shook his head. \"That's not your call.\"
\"Almost killing him once wasn't enough. You're no good for him and you know it. At least I thought you did but apparently I was wrong. He will not be put in danger again because of you.\"
The accusations hit exactly where they were meant to and Noah couldn't stop the way his heart stuttered against his chest. He had hurt Luke. He was selfish. He couldn't --
Holden stood next to him and Noah could feel his anger radiating out to Damian.
Margo was standing at his side in the next second, one hand on his arm as she turned a blistering glare at Damian. \"This is not the place, Damian.\"
Damian shrugged. \"I am protecting my son from this piece of --\"
The words stuck in Damian's mouth as his head was thrown back by a fist to his face. Noah looked down at his hands, wondering if he had lost himself enough to actually hit Damian but when he paid attention he realized Luke was standing in front of Damian, heaving with rage, his fist bruised at his side.
Luke's voice was steady as he spoke. Never a good sign, Noah thought.
\"You were the one that sent me to that place. Took me away from Noah.\"
Damian held one hand to his nose, eyes softening as he reached for Luke. \"I was protecting you.\"
\"From the one person that could bring me back?\" Luke backed away, leaning closer to Noah, seeking him out. \"I spent months lost, Damian, because I needed Noah to -- you never understood what the connection we have is, did you?\"
Noah stepped up, hands on Luke's shoulders. \"Baby, stop. It's not worth it.\"
But Luke couldn't ever be stopped once he started and he glared at Damian. \"I can't breath without him. It's like -- living in a haze. I've hated it. Every single minute. That's what he is to me. Air and life. You took that away when I needed it the most. You left me in that limbo, alone and scared, for so long that I never thought I'd be back.\" He pointed one finger at Damian, and Noah heard the hate thrumming through Luke's voice. \"You did that.\"
\"This isn't the place for this, sweetheart.\"
Luke heard him finally through whatever was happening in his head and turned to Noah, eyes wide with shock. Noah touched his face. \"It's okay. We'll go.\" Henry would understand.
Noah pulled at Luke's arms, guided him out the doors while the buzz of conversation continued around them. He glanced behind, catching Margo speaking to Lily, her body language anger. Holden was addressing the crowd that had gathered, reminding them they were there for Vienna. Carly stood next to Henry, casting raged-filled glanced at Damian while comforting her friend. Noah would need to make sure she didn't do anything crazy later.
Holden and Margo would take care of the rest of it.
His job was to take care of Luke and he'd spent too long not doing that.
That was all that mattered to Noah.
|Chapter Sixteen|","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/369283.html?view=comments#comments","category":["fandom: atwt","pairing: luke\/noah","nanofic: find your way"]},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html","pubDate":"Sat, 01 Dec 2012 16:43:30 GMT","title":"Didn't make it but I tried. :D ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html","description":"
Next year!
Congrats to all my friends that participated and those who also won! RIGHT ON!","comments":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368750.html?view=comments#comments","category":"writing: nanowri2012"},{"guid":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368033.html","pubDate":"Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:40:10 GMT","title":"THIS IS AWESOME. YOU ALL NEED TO LIKE GO. NOW. ","author":"freakykat","link":"https:\/\/freakykat.livejournal.com\/368033.html","description":"Nuke Anon Challenge #11<\/b>
Originally posted by
<\/a>sweetiejelly<\/b><\/a><\/span> at Nuke Anon Challenge #11<\/a>Congrats again to the winners of our last challenge<\/a> and a big thank you to all the writers, readers and voters for participating!
So, November is NaNoWriMo and December is littered with holidays. Thus,<\/a>dreamer_98<\/b><\/a><\/span> and I thought we'd do a longer challenge this time, to give everyone a chance to write their novels, do their holiday shoppings, and<\/i> participate in this challenge. ;)
You have 6 weeks to write for this round. And in honor of the end of the year, we're doing a last sentence challenge<\/b> this time around. (Come submit last lines for our writers in the next post!<\/a>)
Prompts:<\/b> member-submitted; see next post<\/a>
Pairings:<\/b> Luke\/Noah and\/or Van\/Jake
Minimum words:<\/b> 100
Due Date:<\/b> your midnight Monday December 10, 2012<\/b>. (i.e. 12 a.m. December 11, 2012)
How to post:<\/b> Post your story (non-anonymously) in one or more comments as a reply to this post<\/a>. It will be screened so that only Jen and I will see it.
If your story is short enough, please put it inside a textarea so we don't have to look for each italic or bold and risk missing one:
So, November is NaNoWriMo and December is littered with holidays. Thus,
<\/a>dreamer_98<\/b><\/a><\/span> and I thought we'd do a longer challenge this time, to give everyone a chance to write their novels, do their holiday shoppings, and<\/i> participate in this challenge. ;)You have 6 weeks to write for this round. And in honor of the end of the year, we're doing a last sentence challenge<\/b> this time around. (Come submit last lines for our writers in the next post!<\/a>)
Prompts:<\/b> member-submitted; see next post<\/a>
Pairings:<\/b> Luke\/Noah and\/or Van\/Jake
Minimum words:<\/b> 100
Due Date:<\/b> your midnight Monday December 10, 2012<\/b>. (i.e. 12 a.m. December 11, 2012)
How to post:<\/b> Post your story (non-anonymously) in one or more comments as a reply to this post<\/a>. It will be screened so that only Jen and I will see it.
If your story is short enough, please put it inside a textarea so we don't have to look for each italic or bold and risk missing one: