Title: Football Practice
Warnings/Author's Notes: Drew/Emmett
Beta: all of my beta's are writing like good stuff



I watched Emmett walk towards me with that “Drewsie please” look on his face. Emmett didn’t want me to fuck him so hard he limps with the limp of a happy bottom. No, he wants to watch Lana Turner movies

“Drew honey, you are more handsome than Cliff Robertson in Love has Many Faces, but are you buff like Kirk Douglas in The Bad and the Beautiful?”

“Emmett, I am a professional football player. I need practice. I am going to rim you 53 licks for each one of her movies, then fuck you till Madam X …”

“Let’s practice.”

It has came to my understanding that there are some in our beloved fandom that do not think Ben Brucker is the hottest most beautifulest and smartestest man on a little show you may be familiar with, Queer as Folk. I was most shocked at this revelation of perceptual ineptitude.

WHADAYAMEANYOUDON'TTHINKBENISTEHHOTTEST?!?!?! *pouts*

I thought I would put together a visual essay comprised of pictorial evidence, along with my canon based synopsis.

After much very careful consideration, I think you will completely agree with me on Ben's winness and yes that is a real world, but we will discuss word usage a bit later.

Now, on with what matters...the evidence
( This is the battle of Brian vs Ben. Oh and Ben wins...cause like he doesCollapse )

caps taken from callie89, zaipixie, and rebeccama, marilla_pm67, KWAF, many thanks and loves to vlredreign for finding some of these caps.

Title: Let's Go Rim a Twink
Warnings/Author's Notes: like I will go into a nunnery now

Yes, I have been humming this in my head for two days now BAD BAD BAD

Gus was on his second viewing of Mary Poppins. Five hours of practically perfect was making my dick permanently placid. Why didn’t he want to watch The Fox and The Hound? That at least had decent homoerotic subtext.

Gus started singing softly and I drifted off, his head tucked under my chin.


Let's go rim a twink
Make him squirm and blink
Let’s go rim a twink
And send him soaring

Up through the anusphere
So that his dick leaks clear
Oh, let's go rim a twink

Oh, fuck no, wrong; not in my brain.


“Gus, Mary Poppins scares Daddy.”

Title: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
Warnings/Author's Notes: ummm I rather mutilate a child's prayer
Beta: vlredreign



Brian paced around the loft, swearing. He sat at the computer attempting to work, abruptly calling Gus. They talked for 48 minutes while Gus prattled on: super heroes, JR’s being scared of monsters, and how gross it was watching his moms kiss. Brian ended the conversation with “I love you Sonny Boy, take good care of JR”. He paced, fumed. Called Michael to see how Ben was doing, paid Debbie’s mortgage.

He muttered about Saint Fucking Joan, throwing back yet another glass of Beam, gnashing his teeth on the rim.

“Brian, we need to do an exorcism. Bedroom, now, naked.”

( ExorcismCollapse )

Title: A Truly Operatic Event
Warning/Author's notes: ummm Cynthia-Theodore-Brian....with a tiny implied hint of Teddy/Blake
Beta: vlredreign



Cynthia stormed into my office, slapping down a first class E-ticket to Tokyo.

“Either His Royal Prickness fucks Justin, soon, or I am going on vacation, NOW. I told him to go fuck himself, but apparently the hand of the master isn’t what it used to be.”

“Yes, I know he’s distracted, a little irritable…”

“He accepted the slogan “Got Breastmilk.”

I went to Brian’s office, cursing Justin’s show in Japan.

“Hey Bri, last night while I was rimming Blake he moaned Puccini. Tonight I thought I would lick him until he whimpered Pavarotti.”

Brian took the ticket.

“Sayonara, Theodore.”

Title: What the Word Needs Now
Warning/Author's Notes: Debbie, you heard me, Debbie, sings.
Beta: I was too ashamed to ask.

This is actually a long distance dedication to dirtylttlescret, she knows why.

Babylon was packed with sweating, gyrating bodies. Glitter twinkled down as Debbie took center stage. No, not your average night of beautiful men, but a talent competition fundraiser for the Vic Grassi House.

Debbie tapped the mic.

“I am dedicating this song to my community. But most of all to the little asshole who doesn’t think I understand him.”


“What the world needs now,
is fucking and sucking
What the world needs now,
is cocks in asses,
(Covered in condoms, of course)
No, not just for some but everyone.

RIMMMEMMMEMMMING

Brian quickly wrote a check, shoving it in Deb’s mouth.

Title: Rapture
Warnings/Author's Notes:ummm really Bad....vlredreign and I may have to go into hiding
beta: vlredreign
Think of this as an homage to the one and only zortrana's epic purple prose.

Tears filled the gold flecked hazel orbs and the Big Lug gazed lovingly down upon the blushing bottom spread for his delectation.

He wanted to remember this moment, carry it with him always. The Ad Exec knew he would never find another rosebud that would ever taste the same.


The beautiful blond's chest heaved with impassioned breath as he felt the rasp of the tongue across his most intimate opening, owning him forevermore. His small hips twitched with virginal shyness as the velvet-incased manhood breached the first ring of muscle.


The lovers sighed as their souls entwined for eternity. Rapture.

I have drabbled again, this time Ben and Michael

Title: What Do You Want?
Warnings/Author's Notes: Ben/Michael, I don't think it is too graphic.
Beta:vlredreign


I love dancing with Michael. He is always a bit awkward, not quite catching my rhythm. If I am patient, he finds me. He knows what he wants; just unsure. He relaxes; his back against my chest, his right arm curls behind my neck. Michael stops thinking. His ass presses into me. He lets me guide him unconsciously

"What do you want, Michael?"

He blushes, pulling away. I bring him back against me whispering that I can't wait to go home. I want to raise his legs up over his head and bury my tongue inside his ass.


"Let's fuck."


This next one well...........

k, um, well, this came out of a conversation with dirtylttlescrt when she thought I should continue the above drabble. I told her I can't write Ben and Michael Porn any more than I can write Brian and Justin porn. I told her that my porn sounds like bad stereo instructions for the Kama Sutra....and then she thought I should play REO Speedwagon and see if that helps...and this is what I came up with.

Title: I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore
Warnings/Author's Notes: song!fic
Beta: Are you kidding? No way would I ask anyone to beta this.
( I can't fight this feeling anymoreCollapse )

Title: Do You Like to Eat My Ass
Author: firehead30
Warnings/Author's Notes: I apologize for this in advance. Yes I have desecrated Dr Seuss and Green Eggs and Ham. I am ashamed.
Pairing Brian and Justin
Beta: zaipixie partner in crime

Do you like to eat my ass


Would you rim me in the shower
Or does my ass need to smell like a flower?
Could you, would you lick me at the baths?
While everyone strokes their staffs.

I do, I do like to eat your ass!
I would rim you in the shower.
While you moan, your anus flowers!

I could, I would lick you at the baths.
While losers beat their staffs.

Do you like to tongue my anal ring?
Or do you want to slap my ass until is stings?

*SMACK*

"Wake up Justin. That’s the last time you read Dr Seuss to Gus."

Yesterday at work totally sucked. There is a new COO (which that job should have been mine, but oh well, because that is the job function I do). The new COO is the CEO's son-in-law. So yeah...now I get to placate two male egos instead of one.....Yesterday the CEO was a very insensitive sexist demeaning ass did you know that strong, articulate, professional women are PMSing when they voice their opinion in staff meeting, yes the CEO said the accountant and I were PMSing AND if the new COO wanted any peace he should agree with us....so zaipixie helped me come up with a way to vent my frustrations....

There is a condom war going on over on EYEJAY between Brian and Justin in Qaf_drabbles....so Pixie suggested demanded I write something because Brian NEEDS condoms... FUCK....the subject was rimming and everyone knows I can't write Brian and Justin porn...it reads like bad stereo instructions for the Kama Sutra, no not kidding. So this is what I wrote. And this is what my darling zaipixie said Put your asshole boss up for inspiration for it. If he only knew he inspired you to write lesbian porn during office hours!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLOL

Title: Begging, in two parts
Author: firehead30
Warnings/Author's Notes: Be gentle, I have never drabbled before. Blame zaipixie .
Pairing Mel/Linds
And the condom goes to: two condoms to Brian.
Betas: zaipixie for hand holding and vlredreign for telling lying to me I didn't suck.

( BeggingCollapse )