Stolen from Skeren
According to St. Mary's Church of Colorado Springs, listed below are
some warning signs to indicate if you may have gone astray from the
Lord and turned GOTH! Bold those listed that apply to you:
[Things in brackets are personal comments. Ignore at will.]
1. Frequently wears black clothing.
2. Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3. Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4. Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic
worshipping symbols. [dude, have you SEEN the ring, which, incidently, I NEVER take off???]
5. Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. [five unnatural holes in my ears]
6. Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) [I have two
songs in English on my computer: one from LotR, the other Perfect
Circle's "Counting Bodies Like Sheep (to the rhythm of the war
drums)"...hmmm...]
7. Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. [shall I bother?]
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
[Sports are violent, not wholesome... and the first three lost my
interest when they started catering to insane bigots -- well, at least
/some/ churches did. Not blaming all of them on my
"Satan-infestation".]
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. [What
if death, vampires, magic, the occult and witchcraft DON'T involve
Satan? Does that count? lol... yay, Buffy! Millions of Hellverses, but
no mention of Satan!]
10. Takes drugs. [Bad for your health.]
11. Drinks alcohol. [Bad for your health, too]
12. Is suicidal and/or depressed. [Does the manic part of bipolar make up for the depressive?]
13. Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of
God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your
local mental health center.) [Bad for your health, too. The pain is
normally to distract from the stupid assholes in one's life, than this
supposed "light". But at least the "mental health center" part is
decent advice. Maybe. Then again, I thought the fourth word of this was
"pancakes", at first...]
14. Complains of boredom. [So all children are Satanic? I'm confused, I thought they were the most innocent...never mind, those little buggers are evil!]
15. Sleeps too excessively or too little. [Can't win, can I?]
16. Is excessively awake during the night. [If you sleep too little, then wouldn't you automatically be "excessively awake during the night"?]
17. Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) [*whips out fangs* I vant to suck your blood...]
18. Demands an unusual amount of privacy. [Umm...so you want
people to be naked in public...going to the bathroom with the door
open...yell out what they're doing at all times to the entire world...?
I thought nuns were slightly more prudent than that...]
19. Spends large amounts of time alone.
20. Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) [Or so I don't get a headache from your incessant blathering. *meditates in order to channel Snape*]
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
[As much as I'd LOVE to have our sex talks with an adult overlooking
us...oh, nevermind, been there, done that. Now what HAVEN'T we
discussed with adults... the mechanics of gay sex? Yup, I think that's
about it.... Covered BDSM, all sorts of fetishes and kinks, political
and scientific and religious stuff... Oh, you were talking about
/doing/ stuff? Well, I doubt the majority of the population /wants/
their parents to observe them doing...eheh]
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. [They are only authority figures if they have /earned/ the authority. And why aren't PARENTS in that list?]
23. Misbehaves at school. [This is me at school: *zzzzz*]
24. Misbehaves at home. [Oh, be-have....]
25. Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. [Pocky. Ramune. Pasta. Uhh...Is ketchup goth-related?]
26. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.) [By acknowledging the existance of
vampires validates their existance...or some such rot.]
27. Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) [Yami no Matsuei! Full Metal Alchemist! Gravitation! (death, magic, and gay sex! woohoo, bitches!)]
28. Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature. [I have the choice of DDR and Final Fantasy/Star Ocean. Wow]
29. Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. [The computer is my life. I /sleep/ with my frigging computer. I'm likely going into CompSci. I live for fanfic updates.]
30. Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. [[::gasp:: headbanging!]]
31. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. [If they attempt and fail, does it still count? *thinks of Eric's white boy dancing*]
32. Expresses an interest in sex. [Ok, remove our genitals now...]
33. Masturbates. [Do you WANT men to die from prostate cancer? jk]
34. Is homosexual and/or bisexual. [I like to consider myself androgynogenderal, if not vaguely pansexual.]
35. Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. [Umm...how
is Buddhism dangerous? No, wait, I'm taking a class on it once fall
term starts, so I'll know! Also, Wicca? Dangerous? *snorts*]
36. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these
various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
37. Claims to be a goth.
If you have bolded more than five, according to the St. Mary's church, you are TOTALLY FUCKED! Congratulations.
I name this 'meme o the stupid people'
some warning signs to indicate if you may have gone astray from the
Lord and turned GOTH! Bold those listed that apply to you:
[Things in brackets are personal comments. Ignore at will.]
1. Frequently wears black clothing.
2. Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3. Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4. Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic
worshipping symbols. [dude, have you SEEN the ring, which, incidently, I NEVER take off???]
5. Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. [five unnatural holes in my ears]
6. Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) [I have two
songs in English on my computer: one from LotR, the other Perfect
Circle's "Counting Bodies Like Sheep (to the rhythm of the war
drums)"...hmmm...]
7. Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. [shall I bother?]
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
[Sports are violent, not wholesome... and the first three lost my
interest when they started catering to insane bigots -- well, at least
/some/ churches did. Not blaming all of them on my
"Satan-infestation".]
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. [What
if death, vampires, magic, the occult and witchcraft DON'T involve
Satan? Does that count? lol... yay, Buffy! Millions of Hellverses, but
no mention of Satan!]
10. Takes drugs. [Bad for your health.]
11. Drinks alcohol. [Bad for your health, too]
12. Is suicidal and/or depressed. [Does the manic part of bipolar make up for the depressive?]
13. Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of
God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your
local mental health center.) [Bad for your health, too. The pain is
normally to distract from the stupid assholes in one's life, than this
supposed "light". But at least the "mental health center" part is
decent advice. Maybe. Then again, I thought the fourth word of this was
"pancakes", at first...]
14. Complains of boredom. [So all children are Satanic? I'm confused, I thought they were the most innocent...never mind, those little buggers are evil!]
15. Sleeps too excessively or too little. [Can't win, can I?]
16. Is excessively awake during the night. [If you sleep too little, then wouldn't you automatically be "excessively awake during the night"?]
17. Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) [*whips out fangs* I vant to suck your blood...]
18. Demands an unusual amount of privacy. [Umm...so you want
people to be naked in public...going to the bathroom with the door
open...yell out what they're doing at all times to the entire world...?
I thought nuns were slightly more prudent than that...]
19. Spends large amounts of time alone.
20. Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) [Or so I don't get a headache from your incessant blathering. *meditates in order to channel Snape*]
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
[As much as I'd LOVE to have our sex talks with an adult overlooking
us...oh, nevermind, been there, done that. Now what HAVEN'T we
discussed with adults... the mechanics of gay sex? Yup, I think that's
about it.... Covered BDSM, all sorts of fetishes and kinks, political
and scientific and religious stuff... Oh, you were talking about
/doing/ stuff? Well, I doubt the majority of the population /wants/
their parents to observe them doing...eheh]
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. [They are only authority figures if they have /earned/ the authority. And why aren't PARENTS in that list?]
23. Misbehaves at school. [This is me at school: *zzzzz*]
24. Misbehaves at home. [Oh, be-have....]
25. Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. [Pocky. Ramune. Pasta. Uhh...Is ketchup goth-related?]
26. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.) [By acknowledging the existance of
vampires validates their existance...or some such rot.]
27. Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) [Yami no Matsuei! Full Metal Alchemist! Gravitation! (death, magic, and gay sex! woohoo, bitches!)]
28. Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature. [I have the choice of DDR and Final Fantasy/Star Ocean. Wow]
29. Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. [The computer is my life. I /sleep/ with my frigging computer. I'm likely going into CompSci. I live for fanfic updates.]
30. Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. [[::gasp:: headbanging!]]
31. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. [If they attempt and fail, does it still count? *thinks of Eric's white boy dancing*]
32. Expresses an interest in sex. [Ok, remove our genitals now...]
33. Masturbates. [Do you WANT men to die from prostate cancer? jk]
34. Is homosexual and/or bisexual. [I like to consider myself androgynogenderal, if not vaguely pansexual.]
35. Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. [Umm...how
is Buddhism dangerous? No, wait, I'm taking a class on it once fall
term starts, so I'll know! Also, Wicca? Dangerous? *snorts*]
36. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these
various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
37. Claims to be a goth.
If you have bolded more than five, according to the St. Mary's church, you are TOTALLY FUCKED! Congratulations.
I name this 'meme o the stupid people'