these precious illusions in my head
Another song/story matchup -- Precious Illusions, by Kat Reitz and Tzigane. Angsty (I was crying), but omigod, such loveliness. Although heavy on the angst, there were lighter parts that made it flow so naturally. The summary on the site reads "After Voldemort's demise, Harry feels lost and seeks a comfort Draco doesn't want him to have." I was a bit confused on this, since its a site devoted to HPSS pairing, but you have to get into the (150000+ word) story. I played Alanis Morissette's song Precious Illusions over and over during the last chapters (which were even more saturated with angsty situations, and guilt-induced insanity), because the mood of the song fits so well.
Now I need to find something else to read. Gah.
Oh, the above story mentioned the movie Twelve Monkeys. Which is an awesome mindbending scifi/action flick, and the filming technique was unique and added to the delirious tint of the film. Similar to the atmosphere of Conspiracy Theory, especially when Mel Gibson's eyes are scotchtaped open. Fun stuff. More ppl recognize CT over 12M, though...hmm...
Why do I end up reading angst? I know that I end up engrossed in my stories to the point of speaking the dialogue, and riding the emotional atmosphere. I get an adrenaline rush from action movies because of the immersion, and get depressed from angsty movies, and stories, especially those without a happy ending, and get turned on by well written or well imagined smutty parts. Precious Illusions had a non-depressing, somewhat happy in the sense that "we're better now and working on it" but the effects of the bad things were still evident. So why to I torture myself by reading angst, knowing that the trademark of a decent story involves my emotional state matching the imagined one? I used to forbid myself from reading angst, or anything with torture, rape, abuse, mind games, etc. Now, perhaps in an attempt to find new, decent material, I have erased those lines, though I don't bother with certain pairings or badly written material, and only avoid the mind/political games (like Fudge actively poisoning the wizarding world against Harry -- I'll read stories where the world is poisoned against him, but it makes me feel icky to read about the machinations unless they are in favor of the main characters, and away from discrimination).
Now I need to find something else to read. Gah.
Oh, the above story mentioned the movie Twelve Monkeys. Which is an awesome mindbending scifi/action flick, and the filming technique was unique and added to the delirious tint of the film. Similar to the atmosphere of Conspiracy Theory, especially when Mel Gibson's eyes are scotchtaped open. Fun stuff. More ppl recognize CT over 12M, though...hmm...
Why do I end up reading angst? I know that I end up engrossed in my stories to the point of speaking the dialogue, and riding the emotional atmosphere. I get an adrenaline rush from action movies because of the immersion, and get depressed from angsty movies, and stories, especially those without a happy ending, and get turned on by well written or well imagined smutty parts. Precious Illusions had a non-depressing, somewhat happy in the sense that "we're better now and working on it" but the effects of the bad things were still evident. So why to I torture myself by reading angst, knowing that the trademark of a decent story involves my emotional state matching the imagined one? I used to forbid myself from reading angst, or anything with torture, rape, abuse, mind games, etc. Now, perhaps in an attempt to find new, decent material, I have erased those lines, though I don't bother with certain pairings or badly written material, and only avoid the mind/political games (like Fudge actively poisoning the wizarding world against Harry -- I'll read stories where the world is poisoned against him, but it makes me feel icky to read about the machinations unless they are in favor of the main characters, and away from discrimination).