Well, now that I am all settled in to Madison and am over my hump year of "being completely insane," I am once again in the dating pool and consequently have a few... stories to tell. I've never exactly been one to suffer fools lightly, as it were, but funnily enough, after running away to San Francisco, stalking rock stars, haring off to New Zealand and Australia, and engaging in a number of activities like flinging myself out of an airplane door and falling screaming 3 miles to Earth, I find it much easier to ignore people being idiots. And when I say "people" in this instance, I specifically mean "men." And because I am blessed enough to know lots of people to encourage me to stand up for myself, and have the resources to educate myself about privilege and sexism, etc., I'm getting better at calling people out on their crap rather than standing by and politely smiling and taking it.

I will put a disclaimer right here that to read a post like this makes it sound like I march around with a spear and shield, shrieking at anyone that I perceive as putting a toe out of line, but I'm not here to post about all the people who are quietly polite & respectful; I will simply state that they ARE there. And also, obviously women are not exempt from acting like buttheads; this post simply happens to be about the dating fail I have recently experienced. And finally, because I work in the service industry, I think that I get exposed to a lot more fuckery than the average lady, simply by virtue of having to smile and be inviting and friendly even to people I would like to fuck right off.



A helpful picture to set the mood.

Right. To the juicy parts. ( Dear Gentlemen,Collapse )

Further reading on this and related subjects.

+ The Complete Guide to Not Giving A Fuck. Not specifically feminist, but useful and fun nonetheless.
+ I'm Mad At You Because You're An Idiot, Not Because I'm A Woman. Via Jezebel. What it says on the tin.
+ Thirteen-year-old badass on slut-shaming and why it's wrong Video and transcript of video at the link, for those of you who can't or don't like watching videos.

Today's post has been brought to you by the sparkly blue nail polish jou painted my nails with Thursday night. I hope everyone's weekend has been fruitful. I leave you with this.

So, today I was told by a coworker that I'm "very masculine" and the fact that I have two brothers and no sisters "explains everything."

There's background to this comment (we were having a conversation about another coworker of ours, who is distinguished from the multiple Katies we work with by being known as "Dude-bro Katie" because she calls everyone "dude" and "bro" ) but it's not terrifically pertinent. I have been stewing about this all afternoon, and trying to figure out why the fuck I even care. Aforementioned coworker (at one of the gayest restaurants I have ever worked at, in San Francisco of all damn places) is a girl, and not particularly prudish; none of my coworkers are, for fairly obvious reasons—probably upwards of 60% of my coworkers are gay, and shamelessly so.

When I asked my coworker to explain what she meant by that comment, exactly, she floundered and made vague noises about my height and my voice (low for a woman, but then, most women aren't 6'1") and my... personality, I guess, because she wasn't being terribly specific? I chose not to pursue the conversation. At the time I was too baffled by the comment to even know how to react to it. And now I'm just annoyed.

( Brb, being too ~manly for your friendspage!Collapse )