Ghost

I have a ghost inside my body, and he’s telling me to do all kinds of things. He tells me to wink and to give the thumbs-up sign at the bank or in line at Dairy Queen. He tells me to read the newspaper and to watch Wheel of Fortune on TV. He tells me that Vanna White died several years ago after being stranded on a desert island where she was cannibalized. She was the last choice because she’s all skin and bones, more like eating chicken wings than roast beef. And now Wheel of Fortune uses a wax figurine puppet which makes her ageless and makes her smile stay just so. He tells me computer animation makes her talk and a woman with five kids generates her speech and responds live to Pat Sajak behind the scenes. He tells me that the reason they go to so much trouble is to convince the audience that time has stopped and no one ever dies.