From: Allen, Woody To: NYC Tennis Club [[email protected]] Subject: RE: Reminder Today 3:00 p.m. Sorry everyone, but I won’t be able to make it today due to an unexpected semi-urgent situation I must attend to, which I will attempt to explain. Just to clarify, this is a real situation, and I’m not simply avoiding Rupert […]
Author Archive | Jimmy Chen
Bruce Banner’s Expense’s From Last Month
Rent: $1,100.00 Groceries: $478.54 Gas and electric: $32.49 Cell phone: $42.11 Xanax (copay): $15.00 16 shirts: $267.84 19 pants: $493.81 4 belts: $61.96 Gym membership: $40.00 Legal fees: $2,340.00 Entertainment: $0.00
Rap Lyrics
Dr. Dre Compton and Long Beach together, no doubt caused by a tectonic shift in the San Andreas fault. Outkast I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for real—but what the fuck is ‘real’? Sir Mix A Lot I like big butts, though I am a chronic liar. Snoop Dogg Bow wow wow, yippy yo, yippy […]
Confessions of Jack Tripper
August 2, 1977 — Slept in a bathtub last night. The coke was from Bolivia, I think. Two girls woke me up, Chrissy and the other – I can’t remember her name. Her face was pointy looking. Anyway, Eleanor is breaking the lease and they can’t make rent so I’m moving in this weekend. August 9, […]
Dude Where’s My Car?
In your garage, dude. Remember last night outside the parking lot at The Buckeye? You were completely hammered. I said, “Dude, I’m taking your car and driving you home. I’m going to park your car in your garage. Please remember this. Please do not call me at work the next day like you always do […]