Why is your acclaimed novel 'Robinson Crusoe' so painfully boring? After changing location three times (home, starbucks and home again) I've only gotten to page twelve and all I remember from those pages is that your protagonist is a whiny little mama's boy (who still lives with his parents) and he's on a ship which I know is going to crash but hasn't quite gotten round to it in the painfully tedious description therein.
I realise you're dead and complaining now is hardly going to do anyone any good but I HATE YOU with every fibre of my being and the next time I have to slap my cheeks and play Bleach soundtracks just to stay awake AT NOON I am going to summon you and pump your sorry ethereal corpse full of rock salt before binding you to a bedpan.
Love and kisses,
Pissed Off English Lit Student.
Current Location:donating a bedpan to irritable bowel syndrome ward
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