So, I’ve had my Lyra for one month. From what I’ve seen, most babies have four modes:
Eat
Sleep
Poop
Cry
Stages of baby emotion
That last point will often be due to the others, either too hungry, too tired, has a dirty diaper, but it could be just fussiness. So, when a baby is crying you have a three step plan:
Check if the diaper is fully, if it is change it.
Check if the baby is hungry.
Try to walk around with the baby, if this fails go back to step 1.
Diaper changes
It may not be the best 3-step system, but it’s a system I’ve found to be fairly effective. If the diaper isn’t full and I can’t quiet Lyra in 10-20 minutes then it’s often due to hunger, in which case Wenwen will try to feed her. Wenwen usually flips 1 and 2, though I lack the milk and she has it so that’s probably why.
Aside from that you start to notice some interesting developments. She can raise her head on her arms for a little bit, and if you catch her eyes she might follow you as you move. It’s interesting to watch her face and try to figure out what she’s thinking. Most likely, its one of the previous problems.
As this is the end of the 5th week, next week (starting the 19th) I have to go to work. Hopefully I’ll have more informative talks on having a baby while one of the parents has to work.
Another week. I was talking to my wife today about how she felt after having a baby. Her response was quite correct, days tend to seem the same. It’s amazing looking at photos from a few weeks ago and seeing how much Lyra has grown, but days with a baby due kind of meld. Note, I’m still on paternity leave.
Oh, days…
There is however one kind of day that does not meld in with the others, and give the weeks some type of pattern, Saturdays. On Saturdays, my wife teaches a class at the University of Massachusetts at Boston. More specifically, Calculus for Business Students. The first Saturday after giving birth she had a friend (Mehmet) teach this class, after she has elected (though given offers for help) to teach this class herself.
A great mom, a great mathematician, and a great working mom mathematician stock photo!
This means, on each Saturday, from 11:45 am to 3:00 pm (excluding a break), it is my job to look after Lyra. So far this amounts to me trying to find various ways to get her to sleep. Do I pace the halls while students caw at little Lyra? Do I swing her in a portable bassinet? Do I pray to the elder gods that she’ll sleep? I do two of those three things.
Next, at least twice she’ll need a new diaper. The first floor of the building both the men and ladies room has baby changing stations, the fourth floor neither do. On one side, thank you for having then in either both or neither, on the other hand, they really come in handy. Thankfully, I have a nice waterproof towel like thing that came with the diaper changing bag. This is a must have! I can safely say I know how to change a diaper, over and over again…
So many diapers, so much smell…
There’s one note I want to leave on, that comes in a dual side. I think we’ve finally got to a point where guys know they have to look after the baby too. There’s nothing better then having your baby laying on you after you’ve spent 1.5 hours getting them to sleep, knowing that in an hour they’ll wake up and you’ll have to repeat the process, but for this moment your just happy. If you are a guy, and you don’t know this, then I’m sorry, learn.
Baby stuff is hard, being a baby is hard, but everything is so worth it.
On the flip side, please stop writing every baby article like only women read them. It infuriates me, guys do care, guys do read, and the view that its only women is aggravating… Argh…
I’ve just finished a major proof of concept, had meetings, and I’m starting on the next big part of the project. We are on a tight deadline, and my wife should have another two weeks before giving birth. I know, hold your laughs here. I get a phone call with her telling me she thinks her water broke.
I contact my boss and tell him I don’t think I will be in on Monday, Google gives a very generous paternity leave. I write up a document detailing the work I’ve done on my project, so the rest of the team can continue. I fill in another co-worker with my other project and try to submit one last cl (change list), at least I think I did. All is calm.
I go home. My wife is comfortable, no labor. I work on a cl for some code that’s been bothering me. It’s late, 9 maybe, but of course Ron and Ethan will be happy to review. Five alterations later, and it’s been LGTM’ed. I don’t feel comfortable submitting at that point so I go to bed. To this end, it’s killing me this hasn’t been submitted yet!!!
The next day is for the most part uneventful. My wife goes to class, teaches some calculus, and I stay at home going the quantum information theory lectures.
Whose handwriting is that?
She comes home and tells me:
She saw some blood in the bathroom
She thinks we should fry the cauliflower for dinner.
I think:
Cauliflower, sounds good, I’ll fry it in a bit
We should probably call the doctors
We call the doctors, and they think we should go in. When we do the doctors look confused, her water broke 36-ish hours ago and you come in now? We debate for another hour and my wife’s labor is induced. It should take another 8 hours for the induction drugs to kick in, so I go home to pick up my stuff.
Amazingly, they still use paper…
I go to the house, pick up the car-seat, baby bag, and cheesecake. I realize there’s no real food, so I go over to CVS and pick up some microwavable pizzas and peanuts. I go back and labor started! Note: It started around 10:30 pm on a Saturday.
For the next 6 hours my wife is in pain, and finally the nurse suggests either an epidural or Nubain and Phenergan. Aside from my thought that Nubain and Phenergan sounds like a drug I would use to hunt werewolves, that’s the one my wife chooses, and she sleeps for a few hours, then it got BAD!
After being semi conscious for four hours, she gets wide awake and in deep pain, and our OB arrives. The OB’s response: You REALLY need that epidural. My wife’s response: I REALLY NEED that epidural. So I’m sent out of the room, and I call my parents.
My mom yell’s at me: Why didn’t you call me sooner?
I respond: Why do you want to wait in the hospital?
My wife gets to sleep, and several hours later my mom show up, and a little bit later our math adviser shows up. Several more painful hours (for my wife, not me), and plenty of coffee later labor actually starts. Thirty minutes later, on Monday at 12:47 am, Lyra Yu Godbout is born.
In a few days I’ll make a post with more personal thoughts. Having a baby is amazing, how you feel every time you look at your child is something that I don’t think anyone without one can imagine.
I have (temporally) local fears: How does one raise a child?
I have more distant fears: What will the earth be like for my daughter?
I have cultural fears: How will my wife and I blend China and American for this little one?
I believe we will do great, I believe humanity will be able to protect the world, and I believe we can show Lyra the best of our two worlds. My Wenwen is amazing. I just wanted to say what happened, and what it’s like for one programmer when he had a daughter. I leave you with:
Recently I received some feedback that my writing and documentation needs improvement. For this, I have decided to try to work on a minor programming project. I will try to do the documentation in this blog. The rest of this blog will be a general design doc.
Lisp Blog Storage Application
Jonathan Godbout
May 4, 2018
Background:
Currently, I use the WordPress website to both house and display my blog articles. This gives me a reliance on a programming stack, and a third party website that I know absolutely nothing about. It gives quick what you see is what you give access to creating, updating, and releasing articles. I have used it for a few years to decent affect, but I believe its now time to write my own.
Goals:
My goal is two fold:
First, is to create a back end system to house my blogs.
It will allow me to write weekly update about my progress.
Overview:
The majority of the work will be a CRUD based API to access blogs. This will include serving and saving the state of the blog documents themselves as well as securing the server so users blogs can’t be accessed by anyone but the users themselves. We place as a addendum that this will only be for personal use.
We expect each user to have there own blogs, so there will be no effort to allow for dual authors. This is expected to be run on a resource limited dedicated hardware, say a raspberry pi, so we will expected a very limited number of users and not be overly concerned with user on-boarding.
Technology:
The CRUD based API will be made with SBCL. We will use the Hunchentoot web server as our HTTP server and expect all CRUD calls to be made over it. We will use json for communication.
Our back-end database will be PostgresSQL (most likely version 9.6). This is a heavier piece of software then is needed, but the programmer writing this wants to use it.
We will use GIT as a code repository and version control system.
System Design:
API:
We will have to API endpoints. For user security, we will have an account endpoint that will handle accounts. We will also have a blog endpoint for access to blogs. Here’s our current design:
Account:
POST account/add-user/ :{user_name: ???, password:???, token:} Returns: 200 success or error
POST account/get_token/ :{user_name: ???, password:???}: Returns: auth token or error
POST account/get_token/ :{user_name: ???, password:???}: Returns: auth token or error
GET users/ : Returns a list of users
Blog:
POST blog/add_blog/ :{user_name: ???, auth_token: ???, title: ???, body: ???} returns 200 or fail
POST blog/update_blog/: {user_name: ???, auth_token: ???, title: ???, body: ???} returns 200 or fail
GET blog/ Returns latest blog {title: ???, body: ???}
GET blog/user/{user_name} Returns latest blog by user {title: ???, body: ???}
POST blog/ Returns latest blog {number: ???} Returns latest n blogs
POST blog/user/user_name} Returns latest blog {number: ???} Returns latest n blogs by user
Database:
We will have two tables, one table for the users, and one for the blogs.
Users:
First_Name: varchar
Last_Name: varchar
Username: varchar {primary key}
Blogs:
Body varchar
Last_Modified date
Created date
Created_By varchar
Title varchar
Limitations:
This is currently a bare-bones list of what is needed for a blogging platform. We don’t have a front-end created, and there no pictures. Nowhere in this document have we mentioned a front-end. This is of course but the first stage in the creation of such a platform.
Testing:
We will write regression tests in Lisp as well as the code.
—————————————————END OF DESIGN DOC
So, that’s the first draft of a design doc. It’s the majority of what many programmers do. It lays out the framework for what I wish to build, and gives you a good platform to step off of. We even have the database schema. Yes, currently its minimal, but all things in time. I hope you learned something, or at least entertained. I leave you with a picture of my wife and I at a coffee shop.
Please note: I don’t wish to comment on the political happenings, just people views on politics in the US and China.
My wife at a political rally for Hillary Clinton, 2016
I am from the United States, and my wife is from China. These are two different countries with two greatly different philosophies, two different ways at looking at the world. Before anyone complains, yes you can grumble about me saying two, there are many people in each country, who have their own views and politics, but you will find a cultural viewpoint, a culture that permeates even those who try to form a counterculture.
For me, this means a sort of incredulity that occurs every now and again. Today, the major thing that confuses me, is politics. As an American, I was raised on the view that your vote is your voice, that you had to be an engaged citizen, and you should try to care about what is going on in politics. Hillary or Trump, Bernie or Paul, a large percentage of the population voted in this last election. People deeply question Trump’s actions, we speak loudly on social media, and we watch our news (we have both kinds: NPR and Fox).
On the other hand, most Chinese people I meet don’t pay much attention to politics. There’s a view that they can’t affect it so why bother? The state of the world continues on, the world seems to be getting better. GDP is up, poverty is down, schools are improving and bribery is on a marked decline.
Plus, so what if you can insult Trump? Trump is fairly successful as far as getting his wants through congress, and most of the democrats complaining hasn’t done much.
Again, there are people in the US who avoid politics. There are people in China who are activists. This being said, if you go around the US people tend to care about politics, and if you go around China, they tend to avoid it.
———————————-
My point this night is not about politics, or even meta-politics. The main thing that has me thinking is the way where I grew up affected my views. I find it strange that someone could not care about politics, much like many of my friends find it strange that I would care so much about politics. Anyway, I’m sorry for my confusion.
Wenwen and me posing in a Yuanmingyuan park in Beijing.
In undergrad, and grad school, I was a mathematics student, though half of my courses where comp sci. Really, the only reason I didn’t dual major is the long list of general classes (non comp sci) that I would have to take. When I got more first programming job, and now into my second one, I feel there are several things I wish I would have learned. That being said, they’re often skipped over.
1. Actually using a text editor, well. Not your silly text editors (I’m looking at you nano) but the more advanced text editors: Emacs and Vim. Your nice large GUI based editors (Visual Studios, Intellij,…) have many bells-and-whistles. They have integration with version control system’s like GIT and SVN, all using a some nice GUI, but harness you in to there workflows. On emacs, I can make functions that do whatever I want, I can grep with the smallest number of keystrokes, I can do all I wan’t with my fingers on the keyboard.
But Visual Studios has an integrated debugger, and code analyzer, and all of this fancy stuff (often at the low price of 10k dollars). Emacs has all of this, if you can find the package 🙂
2. Actually using a (modern) version control system. In undergrad I never really used a version control system. We sent code to the professor by zipping (taring) the directory. Then I got to my first job and used TFS, easy to use with a GUI, but as I have stated before, I believe in the Emacs. Now that I’m at Google and do everything in the console I’ve learned to use Piper, but it really doesn’t meet my needs. More advanced version control systems take some time to get use to.
3. BASH and ZSH (or Powershell): If you write code you should have a good knowledge of command line tools, and command line languages. You should be able to quickly script things away. This is something you’ll learn you need to learn.
I’ve just spent two weeks in China, and my wife has just received her green card. This is all exciting news, but it has lead me to try to better understand immigration and my thoughts on nationality. Before we delve deeper, lets discuss my personal view on my nationality.
U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou, Wenwen waiting in line
I, as well as my family for several generations back are American, born and raised in New England. I believe I’m American, and I don’t prescribe to Americans ancestrally from Europe are immigrants claim, if your family has been here for this long, your a native (though this is a rant for another time maybe). I find slight interest in my French ancestry, as well as a love of the way french people speak, I don’t think I’m french in any real way.
My wife is Chinese, her parents, grandparents, and probably all ancestors going back for over a thousand years are Chinese. This is part of who she is, in a way that me being french, or even American for that matter, will ever be. It is an identity that I think many Americans will never have.
Something
Now that we have the personal out of the way, lets discuss the national. The U.S. for the past 200 years has been a melting pot. Sure, at times we have had our nationalist fervor, but by and large we are a nation of many ethnicities and cultures, all blending together. From Europe to Africa to Asia, every country, religion, and ideology can be found. In contrast in China it is (mainly) only Chinese, and by government regulation this is generally how it will stay.
We can now juxtapose this with the nationalist bent going on over the world. America, Germany, Britain (and on) are all becoming more insular. They are getting tired of immigration and migration, and like America in the 1840’s more anti-immigrant.
I write this as a try to understand, in this global world, what does it mean to really be American, or Chinese? What does nationality mean? Will our children be American or Chinese (really both)?
Or maybe, I just need some more coffee this morning.
It’s time, it’s time for another blog post. Usually this means turning on my desktop, because its annoying to write such a thing with my Chromebooks keyboard, it’s okay, just not as nice. This time, I’m using a Benson Approved USB C dongle to connect me keyboard to my Chromebook, what an odd feeling this is! But the clickiness is happy.
So, what to talk about today. Something many of you know, and most of you probably don’t, is last week was a national holiday in China, The Mid-Autumn Festival. Many people in China, though far less the for Spring Festival, will travel home and celebrate. This is actually a full week off in China, so many more will go on vacation. Much mooncake is had by all.
Mooncake in Boston Subway, that kid looks confused
As this is a national holiday, and my wife is in China, she went to her hometown. She stayed with her father and helped her sister-in-law take care of her brothers children. These are some of the cutest and smartest children you will ever meet.
Probably my favorite picture
Now, I’m having trouble putting what I want to say onto paper. I hope it makes somes sense.
I’ve spent time with these kids, I’m there uncle, I’ve spun them around, made silly faces at them, and they’ve made silly faces right back. I was playing with a stuffed toy Husky, shaking it’s paw, and the oldest one grabs my wife’s hand it shakes her hand right back. These are amazing kids.
Here’s the problem, although the education system in China (whether you approve or disapprove of it) has done fairly well for the kids in Beijing and Shanghai, tests wise they outperform children in the U.S. Another day we can have a spirited debate on the actually usefulness in these tests in determining a kids understanding of a subject, the politics of these tests, and the U.S. education system, this is not that day.
The education system, and the infrastructure for learning, is just not built up in these small villages. First is the lack of schools and proper education. Again, I understand that we have disparities in schools in the U.S., in many cases equally as bad as in China, but I’m not talking about that at the moment. My wife got to be a doctoral student at the University of New Hampshire. She did this by extremely hard work, and extremely lucky circumstances.
Her elementary school teachers weren’t college educated, but she worked hard, learned well and scored well on a test. This got her into the best school in her city. After hard work, she scored well on another test and got into a good college. Her PhD advisor visited that school, and she asked to study with him, and she was really smart so he said yes. She was very hard working, very lucky, and her parents knew the value of her getting an education. They paid for her tuition (no, public school wasn’t free), her mother was illiterate, but she knew that through education she could improve her life.
She was lucky, and she was smart. These days many teachers in her village still lack a college education. They aren’t trained to teach like in the west. They do the best they can, and are incredibly nice, they believe in education, but there are few pathways, and fewer people who wish to return home after earning a college degree.
Next libraries, something we in the U.S. take for granted and deem to shut down. Libraries are many things to many people, a place to use and learn about computers, gain new skills, read stories, and places where the community meets. Anybody, no matter your income, can come in and read a book (or if they choose a blog). When I was young I would get interested in different subject, one time greek fables, so my mom went to the library and borrowed books on greek mythology.
In my wifes village, and many other villages, these don’t exist. My wifes sister has a hard time finding books to give read to her kids.
So here are my thoughts:
Education has to be expanded into these villages, much like in the U.S. education has to be expanded into our dusty small towns.
We must find a way to spread our focus to the world. How do we improve education in Ferrisburg Vt USA, and ZHOU WANG ZHUANG CUN China.
I don’t have any of the answers right now. My wife and I will have kids in the US, who will grow up with all of the advantages that having a Doctor of Math mother and a Google Programmer father gives someone. I wish to give my nieces and nephews the same possibilities.
I want to discuss my current life, and my thoughts on whats going on in US Immigration. This is for my wife, for me, and for greater understanding. First off, lets make a few notes, what I believe, what I think, and who I am.
First: I believe that immigration laws are important, and illegal immigration should be just that, illegal. You don’t get to benefit from coming to the US illegally, we need strong borders, and we need laws about coming here. This is important for safety and business. On the flip side, we need to have an immigration policy that allows people to come here. We need to welcome refugees, we need to let people in to do jobs such as farming.
If we could let people in legally to do farming, they would have more security and competitive wages. This isn’t going to be a discussion on this though, that’s for a different day, and a different forum.
Second: I believe that the folks at the USCIS and NVC are amazing. Every time I come into the US from visiting my wife in China, they are supportive. They give me hope, and reassure me that it’s just a matter of time. I thank these people, they are understaffed and overworked, but they are great.
Again, this isn’t a discussion about that. I wanted to start this post off with some general knowledge about what I think on immigration. Background is important.
So, what is this blog post about? This blog post is about my life. There are people who have it much worse then me, there are people who have it better. I get the luxury of flying to China every two months, most immigrant families don’t.
My wife buying fish at a wet market in Hong Kong
How does my day start? Usually I wake up around 9:30 and walk to work. Since my wife is in China, the only real preference I had for housing was that it be close to my work. So I can stroll in, no need to take a car or public transportation, you wouldn’t want a car in Boston anyway. I look at my phone, usually with a few text messages from Wenwen, we will text back-and-forth for the next few hours. The time difference is 12 hours, so she has yet to go to sleep.
This is followed by lunch. It seems that people form groups (go figure), so me and my usual group will grab lunch together. We discuss some aspect of programming, sometimes math, or if there’s some big news, some politics.
After lunch we go back to work. Typically I work until around 6:30, which is when we start serving dinner. My wife is, again, stuck in another country, so there’s no great reason for me to head home early. I eat at work, and sit at the “strangers table” which is where a group of people sit at and eat together. Calling it the strangers table is a bit of a misnomer, the same people sit there everyday.
Me failing to gut a fish
I go home, and by know Wenwen has woken up. We talk on QQ (they have cute penguin stickers, WeChat doesn’t). Finally I go to bed. This, is my average weekday.
Schedules themselves are monotonous. We, as humans, tend to gravitate to them, its rather a natural phenomenon. It’s the small things through the day that get to you.
I wake up, and my wife is in another country. I walk down the street and see a house, there’s no point in buying a house since we can’t settle down until we know where we’ll live. I see families walking down the street, and as you can imagine it’s difficult to start a family when your separated by literally the entire planet. My wife is playing with her brothers kids, some of the cutest girls you’ve ever seen, I’m happy, we get off the phone, and then I think about when we’ll have that. These are the things that make you sad, it’s the little things that you notice.
We were about to buy a house, about a year ago. When Wenjing got stuck in China we told the realtor. I said “These things happen”, she said “No Jon, no they don’t”. I talked to my boss, and he said, all immigrant families have these stories, welcome to the club.
I talked to my coworkers. These are Google engineers, some of the brightest minds I’ve met. They’ve been waiting for green cards for, in some cases, a decade.
I don’t know why I felt compelled to write this blog. I’ve been waiting for 9 months, and mostly have several more months to wait. All my wife and I want is to be together, to have a family. It’s not the USCIS’s fault, they do the best they can. As I said, some people have it much worse then me, at least I get to see my wife.
When you read this, I love you Wenwen, I’m always your’s. For everyone else who reads this, when you vote, when you discuss immigration, think about your family, and the people you know.