Small Towns Along the Uncanny Highway Part II: People and Culture

07 Thursday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

This is the second set of random generators for defining the small towns that lie along the Uncanny Highway of the Groovy Seventies. Use them to define the predominant ethnicity of the town’s residents, their attitudes, and their town pride.

Tables 1 to 9 (presented previously) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 14 to 19 (in upcoming Part III) take you “around town” to define it’s businesses, establishments, and locations. Tables 20 to 22 (upcoming in part IV) define the town’s major organizations and social institutions. Tables 23 to 32 (to be presented in Part V) define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every small town, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”. Finally, Tables 33 to 38 (in the final Part VI) generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering the streets.

Table 10: Ethnic Makeup of a Small Town

d20	The ethnic origin of the population seems to be mostly…
1 – 6	Undifferentiated “White” American. Most people in town will not identify with any ethnicity other than “American”.
7	Black.
8	Irish, or Swiss (in the Midwest), or Black (in the South)
9	German, or Swedish (in the Midwest), or Black (in the South)
10	Irish.
11	German.
12	Italian.
13	French.
14	Spanish, or Mexican (in the Southwest)
15	Lebanese, or Mexican (in the Southwest)
16	Polish.
17	Hungarian.
18	Ukrainian.
19	Asian. d8. 1 – 2 = Filipino, 2 – 3 = Chinese, 4 = Japanese, 5 = Korean, 6 = Vietnamese or Southeast Asian, 8 = Indian or Pakistani.
20	Native American. Town is 85% likely to comprise (or be part of) a Reservation.

Table 11: General Disposition of Adults and Teens in a Small Town

d20	The average adult acts…
1	blissful…
2	virtuous…
3	honest…
4	friendly…
5	polite…
6	amorous…
7	quirky and eccentric…
8	hot-tempered…
9	fanatically pious…
10	crude…
11	unfriendly…
12	dishonest…
13	frightened…
14	bigoted…
15	paranoid…
16	menacing…
17	gloomy…
18	envious / resentful…
19	fatalistic…
20	criminal…

d20	…but most of the teens seem…
1	blissful.
2	virtuous.
3	honest.
4	friendly.
5	polite.
6	amorous.
7	quirky and eccentric.
8	hot-tempered.
9	fanatically pious.
10	crude.
11	unfriendly.
12	dishonest.
13	frightened.
14	bigoted.
15	paranoid.
16	menacing.
17	gloomy.
18	envious / resentful.
19	fatalistic.
20	criminal.

Table 12: Pride of a Small Town

d8	The town seems most visibly proud of…
1	it’s local industry.
2	the number of townsmen who served in the military.
3	it’s history as a place of sanctuary for a persecuted minority.
4	a celebrity who was born there.
5	being Americans. There are an unusually high number of flags even for small-town America, and everything that can be is red, white, and blue.
6	it’s winning High School Varsity team.
7	it’s Cheerleaders.
8	it’s pies (or other local food).

Table 13: Most Beloved Event or Celebration in an American Small Town

d20	The celebration this town really goes all-out for is…
1	New Year’s Eve.
2	Valentines’ Day.
3	Memorial Day.
4	Saint Patrick’s Day. Roll again if the town is not in the Northeast, or predominantly Irish-American.
5	Easter.
6	Independence Day / The Fourth of July.
7	Prom.
8	it’s Founder’s Day or Community Day.
9	Labor Day.
10	it’s Harvest Festival.
11 – 13	Homecoming.
14	Halloween.
15	Veteran’s Day.
16	the First Day of Hunting Season.
17	Thanksgiving
18 – 20	Christmas.

Small Towns Along the Uncanny Highway Part I: Town Overview

05 Tuesday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

The Small Towns along the Uncanny Highway are places for road-tripping characters to rest, find temporary employment, and uncover long-buried secrets. They’re perfect locations for “slice-of-life” scenarios – in places where life can include the possibility of cannibalistic mutants tunneling into your basement!

Tables 1 to 9 (presented here) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 10 to 13 (in part II) define the predominant People and Culture of the town. Tables 14 to 19 (in upcoming Part III) take you “around town” to define it’s businesses, establishments, and locations. Tables 20 to 22 (upcoming in part IV) define the town’s major organizations and social institutions. Tables 23 to 32 (to be presented in Part V) define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every small town, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”. Finally, Tables 33 to 38 (in the final Part VI) generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering the streets.

Table 1: Name of a Small Town

First, Roll d4 to determine which Sub-table to use. Then roll the indicated die (or dice) to determine the name.

Town Name Sub-table 1

d20	The sign outside town says: Welcome to…
1	New Nineveh.
2	New Corinth.
3	New Jezreel.
4	New Antioch.
5	New Ashkelon.
6	New Bethel.
7	New Byblos.
8	New Cana.
9	New Chorazin.
10	New Elim.
11	New Gibeon.
12	New Haran.
13	New Jaffa.
14	New Lystra.
15	New Megiddo.
16	New Zion.
17	New Petra.
18	New Sardis.
19	New Marah.
20	New Jericho.

Town Name Sub-table 2

d20	The sign outside town says: Welcome to…
1	Prudence.
2	Patience.
3	Ingenuity.
4	Temperance.
5	Friendship.
6	Honor.
7	Deliverance.
8	Perseverance.
9	Justice.
10	Abundance.
11	Fidelity.
12	Industry.
13	Veritas.
14	Fides.
15	Clementia.
16	Dignity.
17	Chastity.
18	Innocence.
19	Joy.
20	Severitas.

Town Name Sub-table 3

d12, d12	The sign outside town says: Welcome to…
1	John(’s)…	…Fields.
2	New…	…Promise.
3	Found…	…Hope.
4	Christ(’s)…	…Haven.
5	Mary(’s)…	…Castle.
6	Bright…	…Fort.
7	Sunny…	…Town.
8	Fresh…	…Home.
9	Wonder…	…Ark.
10	Eagle(’s)…	…Rest.
11	Bear(’s)…	…Stone.
12	White…	…Park.

Town Name Sub-table 4

d12, d12	The sign outside town says: Welcome to…
1	Peter(s)-	-ville.
2	Lark(s)-	-ton.
3	Moon(s)-	-caster.
4	Iron(s)-	-chester.
5	Owl(s)-	-borough.
6	Light(s)-	-fort.
7	Rudd(y)-	-burg.
8	Silver(s)-	-wood.
9	Apple(s)-	-ham.
10	Oak(s)-	-town.
11	Wolf(s)-	-land
12	Star-	-field

Table 2: Population of a Small Town

d6	Under the town name, the town’s population is purported to be…
1	1d4 x 500.
2 – 3	1d8 x 1,000.
4 – 5	3d6 x 1,000.
6	5d6 x 1,000.

The populations will not include students at a university, inmates in a prison, or patients in hospital or asylum.

Table 3: Slogan of a Small Town

d100	Written underneath the population number is the slogan…
1 – 3	“The small town with big dreams!”
4 – 6	“Your new home!”
7 – 9	“You’ll never leave!”
10 – 12	“There’s no going back now!”
13 – 15	“Why would you go anywhere else?”
16 – 18	“You can’t beat us, so join us!”
19 – 21	“Home is where we are!”
22 – 24	“Never wander again!”
25 – 27	“We keep the city far away!”
28 – 30	“Your respite from the road!”
31 – 33	“Your road is at an end!”
34 – 36	“Nothing more to hope for!”
37 – 39	“Come on in!”
40 – 42	“We’ve got your dreams right here!”
43 – 45	“More perfect than you know!”
46 – 48	“A permanent solution to the big city!”
49 – 51	“Be happy – you’re here!”
52 – 54	“How could you not fall in love?”
55 – 57	“Small in size, big in heart!”
58 – 60	“Your heart is in our hands!”
61 – 63	“Faith, Hope, Charity, and Home!”
64 – 66	“The winningest town in America!”
67 – 69	“Find your New Family!”
70 – 72	“Fall under our spell!”
73 – 75	“Where the impossible is possible!”
76 – 78	“A rest for the weary soul.”
79 – 81	“We’d love to have you!”
82 – 84	“Let us show you!”
85 – 87	“Hospitality and Hope!”
88 – 90	“Now, you can rest!”
91 – 93	“The only home of Happiness!”
94 – 96	“A little piece of Heaven!”
97 – 100	“You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Table 4: The Local Landmark of a Small Town

d20	Coming into town, you will see a notable…
1	monument. See MONUMENTS, MEMORIALS, and SHRINES.
2 – 3	tree with an unusual shape.
4 – 5	patch of woods (or cacti, in the Southwest).
6	bridge.
7	hill.
8	rock with an unusual shape.
9	church with unusual architecture. 50% chance Church is now abandoned.
10 – 11	house with unusual architecture. 50% chance House is now abandoned.
13	fort in ruins.
14	river or river bed.
15 – 16	lake.
17	water tower.
18	crossroads.
19	well.
20	cave.

Table 5: Main Industry of a Small Town

d20	The town’s economy is dependent upon…
1	a jail or prison.
2	a military base.
3	a steelworks.
4	a lumber mill, or a drywall factory (in the Southwest).
5	a chemical plant. d8: Plant manufactures… 1=chlorine, 2=food additives, 3=soaps and shampoos, 4=paints and pigments, 5=industrial solvents, 6=pharmaceuticals, 7=fertilizer and pesticides, 8=a strange chemical which is shipped to the military, but for which none of the workers know a use.
6	an oil refinery.
7	oil extraction.
8	natural gas extraction.
9	a weapons factory.
10	a flour mill.
11	a power plant. d6: Generator is powered by… 1 – 2=coal, 3=oil, 4=natural gas, 5=nuclear energy, 6=garbage incineration.
12	an automotive parts factory.
13	a toy factory.
14	a mine.
15	a snack foods factory.
16	a soda bottling plant.
17	a paper mill.
18	a college or university.
19	a research laboratory.
20	a large hospital, rehab center, or asylum.

Table 6a: Basic Layout of a Small Town

d20	Overall, the plan of the town seems to be…
1	compact, with a regular grid of streets, and a main street that runs through town. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
2	compact, with a regular grid of streets, a main street, and a town square. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
3	compact, with a regular grid of streets, and no apparent main street or town square. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
4	compact, with a regular grid of streets and a town square, but no apparent main street. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
5	compact, with irregular streets, and a main street that winds through town. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
6	compact, with irregular streets, a main street, and a town square. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
7	compact, with irregular streets, and no apparent main street or town square. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
8	compact, with irregular streets and a town square, but no apparent main street. Town is likely more than 100 years old.
9	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of regular streets in a grid pattern surrounding a town square.
10	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of regular streets in a grid pattern, with a main street.
11	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of regular streets in a grid pattern surrounding a town square, and with a main street running through town.
12	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of irregular streets surrounding a town square.
13	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of irregular streets, and a main street that winds through town.
14	low density and diffuse at the outskirts, but with a more compact center of irregular streets surrounding a town square, and a main street that winds through town.
15	a low density arrangement with streets in a regular grid, and generous space between buildings. There is a town square, however.
16	a low density arrangement with streets in a regular grid, and generous space between buildings. There is a main street, however.
17	a low density arrangement with streets in a regular grid, and generous space between buildings. There is a main street and town square, however.
18	a low density arrangement of winding and irregular streets, with generous space between buildings. There is a town square, however.
19	a low density arrangement with winding and irregular streets, with generous space between buildings. There is apparently a main street, however.
20	a low density arrangement with winding and irregular streets, and generous space between buildings. The Highway itself is the main street running through the center of town.

Table 6b: Districts of a Small Town

d4	The main industry is located…
1	at the north end of town, where working-class people live. The wealthiest people live in the south end, and middle-class people generally live between the north and south ends.
2	at the south end of town, where working-class people live. The wealthiest people live in the north end, and middle-class people generally live between the south and north ends.
3	on the east side of town, where working-class people live. The wealthiest people live on the west side, and middle-class people generally live between the east and west sides.
4	on the west side of of town, where working-class people live. The wealthiest people live on the east side, and middle-class people generally live between the west and east sides.

Businesses beside the Main Industry will cluster along the town’s Main Street and/or Town Square.

Table 7: First Impression of a Small Town

d6	Your first impression of the town as you enter is that…
1	it looks like everything is decorated for a holiday all the time.
2	everything looks especially neat and tidy.
3	it’s just an average ordinary American town.
4	it has definitely seen better days.
5	a persistent gloom seems to hang over everything.
6	you feel like you are always being watched.

Table 8: Predominant Architecture of Buildings in a Small Town

d8	The predominant architectural style for homes seems to be…
1 or below	Mission Revival / Adobe. (1 or 2 floors)
2	Ranch. (1 floor)
3	Craftsman / California Bungalow. (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun Houses (in the South, 1 floor).
4	Rural Gothic. (2 or 3 floors)
5	Queen Anne. (2 – 4 floors)
6	Colonial Revival. (2 or 3 floors)
7	Dutch Colonial (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun Houses (in the South, 1 floor).
8+	Federal. (2 – 4 floors). House are either red brick, or whitewashed brick.

Modifiers: -1 to the roll in Southern California & the Desert Southwest, +1 in the Northeast.

Table 9: The Dark Secret of a Small Town

d20	The Dark Secret of this town is…
1	its many shockingly inbred families.
2	it is bound to an ancient power of evil, and every year a lottery is held to see who will be sacrificed.
3	there are tunnels that run underneath town, home to a population of cannibalistic mutants.
4	there is a place in town that will resurrect anything buried in it. In exactly the condition in which it was buried, of course.
5	there is an extremely high rate of bizarre birth defects, related to the town’s Main Industry. The defects may be due to toxic chemical used in manufacturing, or if this is a college or hospital town, perhaps pregnant women are being used as test subjects for a new drug.
6	U.F.O. abductions are a regular occurrence here.
7	many of the town’s children are human-alien hybrids.
8	many families in town have a taste for human flesh.
9	a prominent family is also a pack of werewolves.
10	vampirism is spreading.
11	Zombies created by exposure to toxic waste are being stored in an otherwise unremarkable warehouse.
12	much of it was built atop a toxic waste dump.
13	there is an ancient coven of Satanic witches, with roots in the Old Country. 50% chance there is also a local coven of White Witches who oppose them.
14	one of the churches is really a cover for a cult worshiping an incomprehensible demon-god from the Outer Darkness.
15	it is built atop a Native American burial ground, and consequently haunted.
16	the population is gradually being replaced with copies. d4: The copies are… 1=disguised Extraterrestrials, 2=Androids, 3=Clones, 4=Pod People.
17	its founders were actually outlaws and bandits, and a portion of their stolen gold is still buried somewhere in town.
18	there is an ancient flying saucer buried under the town.
19	many of its older residents are Nazi war criminals.
20	one of the houses is a Gateway to Hell, and another a Portal to Heaven. Angels and Demons meet in the town – sometimes to fight, and sometimes to parley.

Roadside Churches of the Uncanny Highway

30 Thursday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Fantasy, Gothic America, Haunted America, Highway Horror, magic realism, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Rural Gothic, Seventies, Sixties, Southern Gothic, Weird America

It is easy to have faith in a supernatural power when one lives on the Uncanny Highway. Just being there is proof of a place ignored by the ordinary world. Nonetheless, the traveler cannot always assume that a house of God on the side of the road remains devoted to a holy cause.

Table 1: Size of a Church

d6	The Church is…
1 – 2	just a chapel. Seats up to 50.
3 – 4	small. Seats up to 100.
5	moderately sized. Seats up to 250.
6	relatively Large. Seats up to 500.

Table 2: Architectural Style of a Church

d10	In style, the church is…
1	Gothic
2	Romanesque stone.
3	Romanesque brick.
4	clapboard, without a steeple
5 – 6	clapboard with a steeple.
7	Neoclassical.
8	actually a repurposed storefront.
9	actually a repurposed house. Use the tables in HOUSES to determine the characteristics of the house and property.
10	Modernist.

Table 3: Apparent Denomination of a Church

d20	The congregation appears to be…
1 – 2	Roman Catholic.
3	Orthodox.
4	Episcopalian.
5	Lutheran.
6	Methodist.
7	Presbyterian.
8	Baptist.
9	Quaker.
10	Pentecostal.
11	Moravian.
12	Congregationalist.
13	Mormon (if west of the Mississippi River) or Mennonite (if east of the Mississippi River).
14	Plymouth Brethren.
15	Seventh-day Adventist.
16	Salvation Army.
17	African Methodist Episcopal Church. (Historically Black)
18	Church of God in Christ. (Historically Black)
19	Unitarian.
20	Unusual Christian. Differs by region. Northeast: an ethnic church with services in a language other than English. Midwest: Amish. South: snake handlers. Southwest: the Native American Church. Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains: Fundamentalist Mormon (polygamous sect). California / Pacific Northwest: counter-cultural “Jesus Freaks”.

Table 4: Writing on a Church Message Board

d12	Written on the message board are…
1	just the times of services.
2	the times of services, and a welcome to a new pastor / priest.
3	the times of services, and an exhortation to read a particular Bible verse.
4	the times of services, and a reminder to tithe (or give generously).
5	the times of services, and a holiday greeting.
6	the times of services, and some words of general encouragement.
7	the times of services, and condolences to a local family.
8	the times of services, and an anti-communist message.
9	the times of services, and condemnation of a local politician.
10	the times of services, and an advertisement for a local business.
11	the times of services, and a prophesy of doom.
12	just cryptic words apparently prophesying doom.

Table 5: Condition of a Church Exterior.

d10	The exterior of the Church building…
1	is in pristine condition, and looks recently built.
2 –5	is basically well-maintained.
6	is overgrown with vines and weeds.
7	has extensive weather damage.
8	has 1d6 broken windows. 50% chance windows are boarded-up.
9	has obscene graffiti on it.
10	appears to have been damaged by fire.

Table 6: The Church Grounds.

d12	The grounds of this Church…
1	are open, and overgrown.
2	are open, and apparently well-maintained.
3	are open and overgrown, with the broken and weathered headstones of 1d20 graves.
4	are enclosed in an iron fence, and feature 1d20 graves, with headstones in surprisingly good condition.
5	are enclosed in an iron fence, and feature 1d20 overgrown graves, with broken headstones.
6	are an overgrown field enclosed by a ruined stone wall.
7	are an overgrown field enclosed by a broken picket fence.
8	are an overgrown field enclosed by a rusty chain link fence.
9	are an overgrown field enclosed by a split-rail fence.
10	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a stone wall.
11	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a picket fence.
12	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a chain-link fence.

Table 7: The Actual Use of a Church

d100	The Church is currently used…
1 – 25	by an active and vital congregation.
26 – 50	by a small and dwindling congregation.
51 – 52	as a drug lab.
53 – 54	as the hideout of a serial killer.
55 – 56	as a refuge by runaways.
57 – 58	as the lair of a Werewolf pack.
59 – 60	only at night, by a congregation of Ghosts.
61 – 62	as the clubhouse of a Biker gang.
63 – 64	as the prison of a minor Demon, and so is locked and chained shut.
65 – 66	by a congregation of disguised Extraterrestrials.
67 – 68	by the followers of a charismatic Guru, who have just purchased it.
69 – 70	by Satanists, who have desecrated the interior.
71 – 72	by a group of squatting Hippies, who will welcome visitors with open arms.
73 – 74	to corral d100 Zombies the Army has been experimenting with. The doors are locked, and there are actually 2d4 soldiers and a Scientist stationed the basement.
75	as the lair of a Vampire, and the interior has been completely desecrated.
76 – 100	by no one – it is completely abandoned.

Monuments, Memorials, and Shrines on the Uncanny Highway

28 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Fantasy, Gothic America, Groovy Seventies, Highway Horror, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Swinging Sixties, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

Along the length of the Uncanny Highway one encounters monuments to local heroes, makeshift memorials to accident victims, and even shrines to Saints famous and obscure. Pay your respects, and your remembrance might be rewarded.

Table 1: Monument, memorial, or Shrine Subject

d20	This is a monument, memorial, or shrine to…
1	local war dead. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
2	the Native tribe that once inhabited the area. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
3	a famous local Politician. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
4	the founder(s) of the nearest town. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
5	a historic fort that is long gone. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
6	a historic massacre. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
7	the person who planned this section of Highway. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
8	a local man, though there’s no indication why. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
9	a local woman, though there’s no indication why. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
10	a historic criminal who is now a local folk hero. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
11	the sighting of a local monster or cryptid. Roll on Table 2a: Monuments.
12	a person who died of a horrible disease. Roll on Table 2b: Roadside Memorials.
13	the victim(s) of a recent auto accident. Roll on Table 2b: Roadside Memorials.
14	victims of a horrific crime. Roll on Table 2b: Roadside Memorials.
15	a young person who committed suicide. Roll on Table 2b: Roadside Memorials.
16	Jesus. Roll on Table 2c: Religious Shrines.
17	the Virgin Mary. Roll on Table 2c: Religious Shrines.
18	a Catholic Saint you’ve never heard of. Roll on Table 2c: Religious Shrines.
19	an Indian Guru. Roll on Table 2c: Religious Shrines.
20	Satan. Roll on Table 2c: Religious Shrines.

Table 2a: Monuments

d8	The monument is a…
1	standing sign.
2	planted tree.
3	wooden cross.
4	cement cross.
5	stone statue.
6	cement statue.
7	bronze statue.
8	obelisk.

Table 2b. Roadside Memorials

d20, 2d4 times	Collected together are…
1 – 3	ribbons tied to a nearby tree or bush.
4 – 5	a bouquet of flowers.
6	a single rose.
7	a small wooden cross.
8	a teddy bear.
9 – 10	a photograph.
11	a child’s toy
12	a small religious statue.
13	a letter of remembrance.
14	2d4 large rocks. 25% chance rocks are painted.
15	a doll on a pole.
16	a candle.
17	a t-shirt.
18	a shoe.
19	a bicycle.
20	a roller-skate.

Repeated results indicates multiple example of an item.

Table 2c. Religious Shrines

d6	The shrine is a(n)…
1	statue, with candles and offerings of money and food.
2	statue in a concrete shell, with candles and offerings of money and food.
3	column shrine, with candles and offerings of money and food.
4	chapel shrine enclosing a statue, with candles and offerings of money and food.
5	painted plaque, with candles and offerings of money and food.
6	image painted on a rock, with candles and offerings of money and food.

Table 3: Effect of an Offering at a Memorial, Monument, or Shrine

d20	If you leave an appropriate offering…
1 – 7	nothing special will happen.
8	you will be visited in your dreams by the subject of the monument, memorial, or shrine, who will tell you one true sentence about the near future.
9	$1,000 will come your way.
10	you will automatically succeed the next time your physical body is tested.
11	you will automatically succeed the next time your mind is tested.
12	you will walk away unharmed form the next car crash you are in.
13	you will be immune to the next poison or venom you encounter.
14	you will be protected the next time you are exposed to disease, or a toxic chemical.
15	you will be immune to the next curse, or negative magical effect put on you.
16	you will sustain no damage at all the next time you are in a fight.
17	the next time your enemies look for you, it will be as if you are invisible.
18	you will be warned by an omen the next time your life is threatened.
19	you will be especially lucky at love for the next month.
20	the next important, rich, or influential person you meet will become your friend and ally.

A given person can only benefit once from leaving an offering.

Souvenir Shops of the Uncanny Highway

23 Thursday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana, black magic, Cursed Items, Devil, Fantasy America, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Modern Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

If for some reason you want to remember your time on the Uncanny Highway, there are numerous Souvenir Shops along its length. Some of the goods you will find are just cheaply-made knickknacks that you will treasure for a week, and then forget you own. Others, may cost you your soul.

Table 1: Architecture and Decor of a Souvenir Shop

d12	The shop is a…
1	purpose-built clapboard building, with a flat roof.
3	old clapboard house, with a peaked roof.
4	flat-roofed brick building
5	old brick house, with a peaked roof.
6	rough stone building, with a peaked roof.
7	rustic log cabin.
8	faux “Old West” Boom-town style building.
9	faux barn.
10	faux castle.
11	faux thatched cottage
12	large tent, with tables erected inside.

Table 2: Items for Sale in a Souvenir Shop

d20, 2d4 times	You can buy…
1	post cards…
2	t-shirts…
3	key-chains…
4	wallets…
5	jewelry…
6	souvenir spoons…
7	stamped pennies…
8	stuffed animals…
9	wall plaques and posters…
10	dolls…
11	fireworks..
12	iron-on patches…
13	candles…
14	paperweights…
15	snow-globes…
16	ceramic figurines…
17	rubber weapons and/or cap guns…
18	Christmas ornaments…
19	novelty hats…
20	ashtrays…

d12	…themed generally around…
1	the Bible.
2	a local ethnic group (other than Native American). The Pennsylvania Dutch, the Gullah of South Carolina, the Tejanos of Texas, the Cajuns of Louisiana, Texas Hill Country Germans, Wisconsin Swiss, etc
3	U.F.Os. and Outer Space.
4	the American flag and patriotic slogans.
5	beloved cartoon characters. Items are unlicensed knock-offs of course.
6	a local geographical feature.
7	a local historical figure.
8	a local legend.
9	a local creature, or animal common to the area.
10	the Native American inhabitants of the area.
11	the military.
12	the Uncanny Highway itself.

Repeated results indicates a large variety of the same kind of object.

Table 3: Quality of Items in a Souvenir Shop

d4	The items are generally…
1	very poorly made.
2	cheap, but should last a few months.
3	as good as in any other store.
4	very well made.

Table 4: Patrons in a Souvenir Shop

d8+d12, 1d4 times.	Also in the shop are…
2	an Angel in disguise. If there are any Singular Items for sale, the Angel will try to dissuade the PCs from purchasing them.
3	a kidnapper.
4	a would-be thief about to stage a holdup.
5	a single father with 1d4 children.
6	a single biker
7	a hitchhiker looking for a ride.
8	a single mother with 1d4 children.
9	a biker couple.
10	an average family of a man, a woman, and 1d4 children.
11	1d4 average teenagers.
12	a traveling salesman.
13	a trucker couple. A semi truck is parked outside.
14	a single trucker. A semi truck is parked outside.
15	a runaway girl
16	a runaway boy.
17	1d4 musicians on tour. Tour Bus is parked outside.
18	1d4 hippies.
19	a serial killer.
20	an Extraterrestrial.

Table 5: Cashier in a Souvenir Shop

d8	The cashier is…
1	a distracted teenage girl…
2	a rude teenage boy…
3	a studious co-ed…
4	a bored college boy…
5	a motherly woman…
6	a nosy man…
7	a foul-mouthed older woman…
8	an extremely friendly older man…

d20	…who is actually…
1 – 10	the person they appear to be.
11	a Drug Dealer.
12	a secret agent for the C.I.A.
13	a secret agent for the K.G.B.
14	a scout for a kidnapping ring.
15	a serial killer.
16	an android.
17	a reanimated corpse.
18	an Extraterrestrial.
19	one of the Fairy Folk.
20	The Devil.

Table 6: Other things to see in a Souvenir Shop

d20, 1d4 times.	In addition to the normal items for sale, you see…
1	an obvious shotgun.
2	a dog.
3	a cat.
4	a parrot in a cage.
5	a goldfish bowl.
6	1d6 framed photographs.
7	a framed map. Since this is the Uncanny Highway, the map does not completely agree with “official” ones!
8	a stuffed moose or elk head.
9	a set of mounted antlers.
10	a sign saying “All Sales Final. No Refunds”.
11	a sign with a Bible verse on it.
12	plaques indicating membership in 1d4 local civic and/or fraternal organizations.
13	1d4 potted plants. 50% likely to be fake.
14	a sign saying “Bathroom is for Employees Only”.
15	posters and/or flyers for a concert at a local Amusement Park.
16	a banner indicating support for a local High School football team.
17	a framed picture of Jesus.
18	a television set.
19	a radio.
20	1d4 Singular Objects for sale. See Table 7.

Repeated results indicates multiple examples of the same object.

Table 7: Singular Objects for Sale in a Souvenir Shop

d20	There appears to be only only one for sale, but you notice…	Suggested Magical Power:
1	a knife with a handle that appears to be a femur bone.	Once per day, can kill whoever it is pointed at in anger.
2	an intricately carved cuckoo clock.	Once per day, can stop time for everyone but its possessor, for a period equivalent to 1 hour.
3	a suit of armor.	Completely protects its wearer from all attacks.
4	a cavalry saber.	User can strike Spirits and Ghosts.
5	a feathered Native American warbonnet.	Wearer is immune to fear, and can influence others.
6	a handmade quilt.	Once per day, if wrapped around someone will heal all damage, diseases, and disabilities.
7	a chandelier made from a wagon wheel.	Light dispels all Spirits, Fairies, and Ghosts, and freezes anyone who means the lighter harm.
8	a garden sundial.	All plants within 100 yards of where it is mounted will always be free of disease, vigorous, and give maximum yields of any fruit or produce.
9	an iron candelabrum	Summons a Ghost under the control of the user, for as long as a candle burns.
10	a knife made from an iron railroad spike.	One strike will kill any Fairy or Demon.
11	an intricately carved wooden mask.	Once per day, allows the user to change their face to any other for 1 hour.
12	a black powder Kentucky rifle.	Can automatically hit any visible target.
13	a life-size doll of a little girl.	Is possessed by a Demon or Ghost who will kill its owner’s enemies, if commanded.
14	a century-old cast iron pan.	Three time per day, can produce any food desired, so long as it will fit inside the pan.
15	a silver and turquoise ring.	User has incredible luck. If your game has a Saving Throw mechanic or something similar, the wearer always succeeds.
16	a finely-made dollhouse.	Every morning, any dolls left within overnight will be in positions that predict the events of the coming day.
17	an antique rocking horse.	For up to 12 hours a day, can transform into an actual horse who doesn’t need rest, water, or food.
18	a model train set.	If the user creates a model town and environment for the train, they can will themselves into an alternate dimension where the train, and town, are real. Time in the alternate dimension passes at the rate of 1 day = 1 hour in the real world.
19	a piggy bank.	Always filled with an inexhaustible amount of 1 dollar bills, which can only be extracted one at a time.
20	a “nothing grinder”.	Once per day, can inflict incapacitating pain on anyone the user names, for 10 minutes.

If a Singular Object grants a Magical Power, it can be used it for 1 year, before the Devil comes to take the possessor’s soul – even if they never use the item again, or sell it. The possessor will learn this fact in a nightmare, the first night after the item is activated. If the possessor never activates or uses the item’s Magical Power, however, they are safe. Otherwise, they will need to enlist the aid of some power strong enough to break the Devil’s grip on them. Naturally, the owner will have to relinquish the item in question to have any hope of salvation!

Mystery Spots and Gravity Hills of the Uncanny Highway

21 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Fantasy, Americana, Groovy Seventies, Highway Horror, magic realism, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Swinging Sixties, Weird America

A Mystery Spot (or Gravity Hill) is a place (generally a short section of road) where objects will appear to roll uphill. A car put in neutral will appear to be drawn towards higher ground, as will balls or roller skates. Of course, in the regular world, the effect is just an illusion caused by an obscured horizon, and the position of objects surrounding a downward slope, making the ground appear to slope upward instead. But on the Uncanny Highway, one can never be quite sure.

And if you see some pay toilets, don’t forget to use them. Your future self may thank you.

Table 1: The Mystery Spot Sign

d12	According to the sign, this Mystery Spot exists because it is…
1	an “Indian” Burial Ground.
2	a U.F.O. crash site.
3	an inter-dimensional vortex.
4	actually a cemetery from which all of the headstones have been moved.
5	a former cemetery, but the bodies have been moved.
6	the site of a massacre of Native Americans.
7	the site of a massacre of non-Native settlers.
8	the site of a house were someone murdered their entire family.
9	a site where a witch was hung.
10	a site where labor organizers were hung.
11	the site of a terrible car crash.
12	an anomaly of the Earth’s magnetic field.

Table 2: The Anti-Gravity Effect

d4	The apparent anti-gravity effect is…
1	barely noticeable, and obviously an optical illusion. A car in neutral will slowly move about 20 feet, apparently uphill.
2	moderate. A car in neutral will slowly move about 50 feet, apparently uphill.
3	very noticeable. A car in neutral will slide about 100 feet, apparently uphill.
4	much too extreme to be just an optical illusion. A car in neutral will quickly roll about 200 feet, apparently uphill.

Table 3: Mystery Spot Amenities

d10	The Amenities here include…
1 – 3	nothing else, and riding the hill in neutral gear is technically illegal.
4 – 5	Pay Toilets. See Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets
6	a Concession Stand, with an Attendant. See Table 5: Mystery Spot Concession Stand, and Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant.
7	a Souvenir Booth, with an Attendant. See Table 6: Mystery Spot Souvenirs, and Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant.
8	Pay Toilets, and a Concession Stand, with an Attendant. See See Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets, Table 5: Mystery Spot Concession Stand, and Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant.
9	Pay Toilets, and a Souvenir Booth, with an Attendant. See See Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets, Table 6: Mystery Spot Souvenirs, and Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant.
10	Pay Toilets, a Concession Stand, and a Souvenir Booth, with an Attendant. See See Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets, See Table 5: Mystery Spot Concession Stand, Table 6: Mystery Spot Souvenirs, and Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant.

Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets.

d8	The toilet facility is…
1 – 2	just a single portable chemical toilet,…
3	a pair of portable chemical toilets,…
4	a single toilet in a shack,…
5	two toilets in shacks,…
6	a single toilet and sink in a brick booth,…
7	a pair of brick booth with toilets and sinks,…
8	a divided building with two full washrooms,…

d4	…using the toilet costs…
1	5 cents,…
2	10 cents,…
3 – 4	25 cents,…
5	50 cents,…
6	1 dollar,…

d12	…and written inside the toilet stall is…
1	“For a good time call…” Determine a name randomly. d8. Phone number belongs to: 1=a completely unsuspecting and innocent person, 2=a serial killer, 3=a cop, 4=a vampire, 5=a serial killer, 6=a person possessed by a demon, 7=one of the Fairy Folk in disguise, 8=a psychic, who will know the name and background of the caller, and give them a prediction about their future.
2	a heart with two names inside. The next time the PCs meet a young couple, it will be the two people indicated. If the PCs help them, they will be able to give the PCs an important warning about something or somebody dangerous on the road.
3	“Don’t trust (person’s name)” Person indicated will be met at the next Bar, Eatery, Motel, Roadside Museum, Trailer Park, or Truck Stop, and is actually nefarious.
4	“Beware the (creature).” Creature named depends on the region. Northeast: Jersey Devil. South: Mothman. Midwest: Hodag. Western Prairie & Mountains: Rabid Jackalope. Southwest: Skinwalker. Southern California: Weaping Woman (La Llorona). Northern California & Pacific Northwest: Sasquatch. Naturally, the PCs will eventually see or have an encounter with the creature indicated.
5	“(Band name) Rules!” The next time the PCs put on the radio, a song by the band indicated will be playing.
6	a true rumor about the nearest Amusement Park. See AMUSEMENT/ THEME PARKS.
7	a true rumor about the nearest Bar. See BARS AND ROADHOUSES.
8	a true rumor about the nearest Eatery. See EATERIES.
9	a true rumor about the nearest Gas Station.
10	a true rumor about the nearest Motel. See MOTELS.
11	a true rumor about the nearest Trailer Park. See TRAILER PARKS.
12	a true rumor about the nearest Truck Stop. See TRUCK STOPS.

Table 5: Mystery Spot Concession Stand

d12	You can refresh yourself with some…
1	hot dogs or bratwursts…
2	hot pretzels…
3	candy…
4	pie…
5	ice-cream…
6	potato chips…
7	soda…
8	iced tea…
9	coffee…
10	lemonade…
11	peanuts…
12	beef jerky…

d8	…that taste(s)…
1 – 2	surprisingly good.
3	solidly mediocre.
4	like cardboard.
5	stale.
6	like it was made with the cheapest artificial flavoring.
7	like somebody’s armpit on a hot summer day.
8	like absolute garbage.

Table 6: Mystery Spot Souvenirs

d12, 1d4 times	You can buy…
1	post cards
2	t-shirts
3	key-chains.
4	wallets.
5	souvenir spoons.
6	stamped pennies.
7	wall plaques.
8	iron-on patches.
9	paperweights.
10	snow-globes.
11	miniature die-cast cars.
12	a book explaining the supposed history of this Mystery Spot.

Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant

d8	The Attendant is…
1	a bubbly teenage girl…
2	an over-eager teenage boy…
3	a flirty co-ed…
4	a pushy college boy…
5	an overly-serious woman…
6	a verbose man…
7	a grandmotherly woman…
8	a grumpy older man…

d20	…who is actually…
1 – 10	the person they appear to be.
11	a drug dealer.
12	a secret agent for the C.I.A.
13	a secret agent for the K.G.B.
14	a scout for a kidnapping ring.
15	a serial killer.
16	an android.
17	a reanimated corpse.
18	an Extraterrestrial.
19	one of the Fairy Folk.
20	a Werewolf.

Roadside Houses on the Uncanny Highway

17 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Horror, American Legend, Americana, Americana fantasy, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, Motor Horror, Prairie Horror, psychotronic, Road Crawl, Road Encounter, Road Trip, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Southern Gothic, Weird America

If you get into trouble on the Uncanny Highway, you might be tempted to seek shelter in one of the numerous house standing on the roadside. Perhaps, you will find a seemingly normal family, who will give you a cup of coffee, and let you use the phone. Or maybe, you were better off taking your chances outside…

Table 1: House Style

-1 to the roll in Southern California & the Desert Southwest, +1 in the Northeast.

d10	The architectural style is…
1 or below	Mission Revival / Adobe. (1 or 2 floors)
2	Ranch. (1 floor)
3	Craftsman / California Bungalow. (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
4	Rural Gothic. (2 or 3 floors)
5	Greek Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is white. In the South, this a former plantation house.
6	Modernist. (1 – 3 floors)
7	Tudor Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is brown and white.
8	Queen Anne. (2 – 4 floors)
9	Colonial Revival. (2 or 3 floors)
10	Dutch Colonial (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
11+	Federal. (2 – 4 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is either red brick, or whitewashed brick.

Table 2: House Color

d12	The house is painted predominantly…
1 – 2	white
3 – 4	brown
5	light blue
6	gray
7	dark blue
8	gray-green
9	green
10	yellow
11	red
12	pink

Table 3: Overall Condition of the House

d6	The condition of the house is…
1	dilapidated. If still inhabited, there are some boarded-up windows.
2 – 3	not good, but it is obviously still inhabitable.
4 – 5	average.
6	excellent.

Table 3: The Attached Property

d6	The surrounding property is…
1	small and overgrown
2	small, and apparently kept up.
3	moderate, and overgrown.
4	moderate, and apparently kept up.
5	large and overgrown.
6	large, and apparently kept up.

Table 4: Notable Features of the House and Property

d100, twice.	There is/are…
1 – 4	a tool shed.
5 – 8	a separate garage.
9 – 16	a fence / wall around the property. d6. 1=picket fence, 2=iron fence with gates, 3–4 =chain link fence, 5=brick wall, 6=privacy hedges. Two different fences are possible.
17 – 21	a pool.
22 – 24	a flower garden.
25 –30	a doghouse.
31 – 32	an underground bomb shelter.
33 – 34	pink flamingo figures in front.
35 – 36	a lawn jockey figure.
37 – 40	a strangely-shaped tree in front.
41 – 42	a religious statue in front.
43 – 44	a free-standing basketball hoop.
45 – 48	a birdbath.
49 – 50	stone architectural elements from demolished buildings scattered in front on the building.
51 – 52	Christmas decorations obviously left up all year.
53 – 56	unusual art made from trash (bottles, hubcaps, bicycle parts, etc.)
57 – 60	topiary bushes in front..
61 – 64	concrete statues in front.
65 – 68	playground equipment in front (slide, merry-go-round, monkey-bars, etc.)
69 – 72	stained glass windows.
73 – 76	a wheel-less car on cinder blocks in front.
77 – 80	a couch on the front lawn.
81 – 84	numerous signs.
85 – 88	store manikins standing in front.
89 – 92	a standing tent.
93 – 95	1d12 graves (with markers).
96 – 100	a radio tower. The House is a radio station. Roll on Table 5 only to determine previous use for the House.

Table 5: House Inhabitants

d100	The house is now…
1 – 25	just the residence of an ordinary married couple with 1d4 children, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
25 – 35	abandoned. (50% likely to be haunted. 25% likely to be the lair of a local Strange Animal or Creature. House could be both haunted and the lair of a Creature.)
36 – 40	abandoned, but used by local satanists, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
41 – 43	a Bed & Breakfast establishment, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
44 – 46	being used to shoot a movie, (d6. 1=Horror, 2=Sci Fi, 3=Romance, 4=Art House Drama, 5=Experimental Art Film, 6=Road-trip Movie, 7=Documentary about a local legend, 8=Pornography.)
47 – 48	a private hospital, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
49 – 50	a Mob hospital, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
51 – 53	an asylum for the criminally insane, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
54 – 56	home to a clan of inbred cannibals, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
57 – 59	a secret hideout for Extraterrestrials,
60	a Vampire’s lair, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Vampire’s victims.)
61	a colony of 1d10 Werewolves, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Werewolves’ victims.)
62 – 64	an artist’s colony, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
65	a monastery, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
66	a convent, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
67 – 71	a brothel, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
72 – 73	an ashram, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
74 – 76	home to a Psychic, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
77	the meeting house of a secret society, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
78	the clubhouse of a local fraternal order, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
79 – 81	a biker clubhouse, (There will be d20+1 motorcycles on the property, both in and out of any garage. 10% likely to also be haunted.)
82	a way station for human trafficking, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
83 – 84	a way station for the drug trade, (50% likely to currently contain 1d100 kilos of drugs, with a courier and/ or guard. 25% likely to also be haunted.)
85 – 86	used by addicts to take drugs, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
87 – 89	a funeral parlor, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
90	a safehouse, (For the CIA, KGB, FBI, a domestic terrorist cell, etc. 5% likely to also be haunted.)
91 – 92	a hippie commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
93 – 94	a Jesus Freak commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
95 – 96	a Swinger’s Club, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
97 – 98	a taxidermist’s place of business, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the animals.)
99	much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside, (House is haunted by multiple ghosts and spirits, and/or home to a powerful Magician.)
100	a gateway to Hell, (You’ve got worse problems than a haunting!)

d4	…but in recent history was…
1 – 2	used for the same purpose
3 – 4	used for another purpose entirely. (Roll again on Table 5. If the result indicates “just the residence of an ordinary family”, it mean the current family just moved in.)

Table 6: Cars on the Property

d20, 1d4 times	Parked on the property is a…
1	pickup truck,
2	delivery truck,
3	station wagon,
4	coupé utility vehicle.
5	two-door coupe,
6	convertible coupe,
7	four-door sedan,
8	sports car,
9	muscle car,
10	hot rod.
11	semi truck.
12	compact car
13	motorcycle,
14	customized “chopper” motorcycle,
15	moped,
16	van,
17	luxury car,
18	off-road vehicle,
19	hearse.
20	Cop Car. Skip next sub-table, and proceed to the one after.

d20	…painted…
1 – 2	black…
3 – 4	white…
5 – 6	dark blue…
7 – 8	metallic gray…
9	cherry red…
10	burgundy…
11	brown…
12	sky blue…
13	blue-green…
14	bright yellow…
15	mustard yellow…
16	orange…
17	forest green…
18	lime green…
19	pink…
20	purple…

d6	…and which is…
1	rusting up on cinder blocks.
2	wrecked.
3	in barely usable condition.
4 – 5	in serviceable condition.
6	obviously well-taken care of.

Note: These cars are in addition to any on the property on account of its current use – for example, the motorcycles of a biker gang.

Roadside Museums of the Uncanny Highway

15 Wednesday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, magic realism, modern fantasy, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

In the long-ago Before Times of the 1960, the 70s – and even the 1980s – the roads of America were filled with small, often family owned museums. They contained seemingly random collections of objects, advertised their possession of the “World’s Biggest” something or other, and really made their money from the souvenir shop. They were uncharitably called “Tourist Traps” – but those of us who visited them on school trips, summer camp outings, and family vacations still have fond memories of them. Now they are dwindling in number, as soulless megacorperations assert their exclusive right to separate American travelers from their dollars. But the Roadside Museum remains a fixture on the Uncanny Highway – where the “Trap” part of “Tourist Trap” can sometimes be literal!

Table 1: Roadside Museum Collection

d6	The Museum holds…
1	just an Outdoor Collection of 2d4 Items.
2	just an Indoor Collection of 2d4 Items.
3	an Outdoor Collection of 1d4 Items, and an Indoor Collection of 2d4 Items.
4	an Outdoor Collection of 2d4 Items, and an Indoor Collection of 1d4 Items.
5	an Outdoor Collection of 1d10 Items, and an Indoor Collection of 1d10 Items.
6	just an Indoor Collection of 3d6 Items.

Table 2: Architecture of a Roadside Museum

d12	The Museum facility is a…
1 – 2	purpose-built clapboard building, with a flat roof.
3 – 4	old clapboard house, with a peaked roof.
5	flat-roofed brick building
6	old brick house, with a peaked roof.
7	rough stone building, with a peaked roof.
8 – 9	log cabin style structure.
10 – 11	faux “Old West” Boom-town style.
12	faux Chinese building, with a curved hip-and-gable roof.

Table 3a: Outdoor Collection of a Roadside Museum

d100	There is/are…
1 – 2	a statue of a life-size dinosaur.
3 – 4	a statue of a life-size elephant.
5 – 6	a statue of a gigantic fish
7 – 8	a statue of a large shark.
9 – 10	a statue of a human-sized rooster.
11 – 12	a statue of an enormous gnome.
13 – 14	a statue of an enormous cricket.
15 – 16	a statue of an enormous dog.
17 – 18	a statue of an enormous cat.
19 – 20	a statue of Santa Claus.
21 – 22	an enormous statue of Paul Bunyan.
23 – 24	an enormous rocking chair.
25 – 26	statues of beloved cartoon characters (obviously used without permission).
27 – 28	an enormous concrete fruit or vegetable.
29 – 30	an enormous laughing clown head.
31 – 32	an antique carousel. See AMUSEMENT/THEME PARKS Table 7b. Carousel Mounts.
33 – 34	a statue of a local creature.
35 – 36	a hot-rod made from a classic car.
37 – 38	a windmill.
39 – 40	a complete sailing ship.
41 – 42	a reproduction of Stonehenge.
43 – 44	a small reproduction of the Eiffel Tower.
45 – 46	a concrete teepee.
47 – 48	a totem pole.
49 – 50	a greenhouse with exotic plants not native to the area.
51 – 52	an English double-decker bus.
53 – 54	a World War II tank.
55 – 56	a chapel.
57 – 58	a small faux castle.
59 – 60	1d4 faux “Old West” buildings
61 – 62	a faux pyramid.
63 – 64	a faux Greek temple.
65 – 66	a hay-bale maze.
67 – 68	a merry-go-round.
69 – 70	a playground slide
71 – 72	a locomotive engine.
73 – 74	a locomotive caboose.
75 – 77	a caged bear. 25% chance the bear is freakishly large.
78 – 80	a caged lion.
81 – 83	a caged tiger. 25% chance the tiger is white.
84 – 86	caged monkeys
87 – 89	1d6 buffalo in an enclosure.
90 – 92	1d4 goat(s). (Can be pet by children.)
93 – 95	1d4 ponies (Can be pet by children.)
96 – 98	1d4 sheep (Can be pet by children.)
99 – 100	1d4 alligator(s) in an enclosure.

Table 3b: Notable Facts About the Outdoor Collection

d10	Notably…
1	one of the attractions is directly tied to a local legend.
2	dead animals are often found around one of the attractions.
3	local lovers believe that it is lucky to kiss next to (or in) one of the attractions.
4	one of the attractions is haunted by the ghost of its maker, or former owner.
5	one of the attractions is actually inhabited by a demon.
6	one of the attractions is somehow tied to an infamous crime.
7	one of the attractions stands atop buried treasure.
8	one of the attractions has been vandalized.
9	one of the attractions will collapse / die while a PC is near.
10	one of the attractions will induce prophetic visions in psychically sensitive people.

Table 4a: Indoor Collection of a Roadside Museum

d100, 1d10 times	There is a collection of…
1 – 2	antique cars.
3 – 4	motorcycles.
5 – 6	horse-drawn buggies.
7 – 8	antique guns.
9 – 10	antique saddles.
11 – 12	antique bottles.
13 – 14	antique tools.
15 – 16	antique swords.
17 – 18	antique hats.
19 – 20	antique musical instruments.
21 – 22	antique toys. Dolls, dollhouses, etc.
23 – 24	antique furniture.
25 – 26	antique carousel horses.
27 – 28	taxidermied big game from America.
29 – 30	taxidermied animals from Africa.
31 – 32	taxidermied animals from South America.
33 – 34	taxidermied animals from Asia.
35 – 36	dinosaur bones.
37 – 38	seashells.
39 – 40	“Biblical” artifacts.
41	human skulls.
42	shrunken heads..
43 – 44	Revolutionary War artifacts and memorabilia.
45 – 46	Civil War artifacts and memorabilia.
47 – 48	World War I artifacts and memorabilia.
49 – 50	World War II artifacts and memorabilia.
51 – 52	Egyptian artifacts.
53 – 54	Native American artifacts.
55 – 56	Old West artifacts and memorabilia. Guns, hats, wagon wheels, etc.
57 – 58	torture and execution devices.
59 – 60	African artifacts.
61 – 62	Asian artifacts.
63 – 64	Artifacts and memorabilia from famous criminals.
65 – 66	exotic minerals and gemstones.
67 – 68	scrimshaw carvings.
69 – 70	folk-art paintings.
71 – 72	quilts.
73 – 74	hubcaps.
75 – 76	coffins.
77 – 78	antique wind-up phonographs (with wax cylinders and disk records).
79 – 80	quirky tombstones.
81 – 82	wooden carvings done with a chainsaw.
83 – 84	“Wooden Indians”.
85 – 86	19th century prints.
87 – 88	living birds.
89 – 90	living snakes and reptiles.
91 – 92	exotic fish in aquariums.
93 – 94	carnivorous plants.
93	especially large balls of twine.
95	wax figures of historical figures.
96	1d4 animatronic figures. d6. 1=cowboy, 2=Native American, 3=historical figure, 4=horse, 5=knitting woman, 6=extraterrestrial.
97	purported artifacts from a crashed U.F.O.
98	casts of Bigfoot tracks.
99	a mummy. 50% likely to be fake.
100	deformed animal fetuses in jars.

Repeated results indicate multiple examples, or a large collection of the items indicated.

Table 4b: Notable Facts About the Indoor Collection

d10	Notably…
1	an item is directly tied to a local legend.
2	an item in the collection curses anyone who touches it. d4: 1=nightmares for 1 month, 2=general bad luck for 1 month, 3=automatically fail next important action, 4=attract the attention of a monster or Psycho Killer.
3	some items were secretly collected from a serial killer’s victims.
4	all the items are stolen (or illegally acquired).
5	an item in the collection is haunted by the ghost of its former possessor.
6	an item in the collection is possessed by a minor demon.
7	an item in the collection can grant its possessor strange powers.
8	an item is tied to an infamous crime.
9	items in the collection rearranged themselves at night, when no one is looking.
10	if you listen closely to the items at midnight, you can hear them whispering their stories.

Table 5: State of a Roadside Museum’s Collection

d4	The collection is generally…
1	deteriorating
2	dusty, but intact
3	in moderately good condition
4	very well cared for.

Table 6: Other Patrons at a Roadside Museum

d8+d12, 1d4 times.	Others patrons currently visiting the museum include…
2	an angel or demon in disguise.
3	a serial killer.
4	a prostitute who works the local truck stop.
5	a Highway Patrolman in uniform.
6	a trucker taking a break from the road.
7	a runaway girl.
8	an unmarried adult couple.
9	a childless married couple.
10	3d4 children on a field trip from school (or summer camp).
11	a Mother, a Father, and their 1d6 children.
12	a teenage couple.
13	2d4 High-school students.
14	a single mother and 1d4 children.
15	a college student, investigating local folklore. 50% chance to be either male or female, and 50% likely to have their boyfriend / girlfriend with them.
16	a runaway boy.
17	a kidnapper, looking for children to steal.
18	a Psychic, drawn by their dreams to one of the objects in the collection.
19	a Demon Hunter, investigating rumors of cursed objects in the collection.
20	a disguised Extraterrestrial fascinated by the strange artifacts of humanity.

Table 7: Roadside Museum Concessions

d20, 1d6 times	Enjoy some…
1 – 3	hot dogs…
4	beer…
5	hard liquor…
6	pie…
7	pretzels…
8	potato chips…
9	giant lollipops…
10	candy apples…
11	cotton candy…
12	popcorn…
13	cola…
14	ice cream…
15	root beer…
16	barbecue…
17	hamburgers & french fries…
18	pizza slices…
19	donuts…
20	grilled cheese sandwiches…

d6	…that taste(s)…
1	unexpectedly good!
2 – 3	no better – but no worse – than you expect.
4	oddly like plastic.
5	like it’s as old as the items on display.
6	like pure garbage.

Table 8: Items in a Roadside Museum’s Souvenir Shop

d20, 1d6 times	The Souvenir Shop sells…
1	post cards
2	t-shirts
3	key-chains
4	wallets.
5	jewelry.
6	souvenir spoons.
7	stamped pennies.
8	wall plaques
9	paperweights.
10	masks.
11	ashtrays.
12	reproductions of historic knives.
13	reproductions of historic guns.
14	supposedly real historic coins.
15	a book about the collection.
16	reproductions of historic clothing.
17	balloons.
18	moccasins.
19	reproductions of historic hats. Helmets, cowboy hats, faux “Indian” headdresses, etc.
20	miniature reproductions of an item in the collection.

Trailer Parks of the Uncanny Highway

10 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, Groovy Seventies, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, psychotronic, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Rural America, Swinging Sixties, Weird America

The latest post in the Uncanny Highway series details the Trailer Parks of U.S. Route 28.

Table 1: Reason to Stop at a Trailer Park

d4	Your attention is attracted by the…
1	sign on the highway advertising a concert.
2	sign on the highway advertising a “no questions asked” pawn broker.
3	sign on the highway advertising “The best barbecue in the state”.
4	sign on the highway advertising Psychic readings.

Table 2: Trailer Park Name

d20, d20	This Trailer Park is named…
1	Shady	Acres
2	Green	Woods
3	Sunny	Forest
4	Verdant	Fields
5	Pleasant	Hill
6	Restful	Creek
7	Happy	Lawn
8	Rainbow	Garden
9	God’s Good	Shelter
10	Rich	Castle
11	Jackpot	Homes
12	Jack & Jill(‘s)	Mount
13	Christian	Court
14	Cozy	Lane
15	Stag	Park
16	Roadside	Square
17	Highway	Hitch
18	Indian	Stop
19	Pretty	Rest
20	Welcome	Promise

Table 3: Size of the Park

d8	The number of homes in the park is…
1	6+d6
2 – 3	12+d8
4 – 5	20+d10
6	30+d12
7	40+d20
8	50+d100

Table 4: Trailer Park Enclosure

d12	The Trailer Park is enclosed by…
1 – 3	nothing.
4 – 6	speed bumps.
7 – 8	a chain link fence.
9	a chain link fence topped with barbed wire.
10	a white picket fence.
11	a split-rail fence.
12	a brick wall.

Table 5: Trailer Park Amenities

d20, 1d6 times.	Residents enjoy…
1	no amenities – it is literally just a lot to park in. Stop rolling if this is the first result. Re-roll if you’ve already determined other Amenities.
2 – 6	full water, electrical, and sewage hookups.
7	transport by mini-bus for residents
8	a swimming pool. Will be next to the Clubhouse, if one is present.
9	a softball diamond
10	playground equipment
11	a concert stage.
12	an ice machine.
13	a soda vending machine.
14	a candy and potato chip vending machine.
15	a communal fire pit.
16	benches.
17	grills.
18	a Clubhouse for residents. Any Community Activities will be in or near the Clubhouse.
19	bathroom and toilet facilities. For the use of residents living out of travel trailers, teardrop trailer, or camper vans.
20	a basketball court.

Table 6: Trailer And Mobile Home Types

d20	The home occupying this lot is a…
1	parked car and small travel trailer.
2	parked car and small teardrop trailer.
3	parked camper van.
4	parked cab-over motorhome.
5	single-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer with visible wheels.
6	single-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer without visible wheels.
7	single-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
8	single-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
9	single-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
10	single-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
11	converted yellow school bus.
12	converted tour bus.
13	double-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer with visible wheels
14	double-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer without visible wheels
15	double-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
16	double-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides and no visible wheels.
17	double-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
18	double-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
19	flat-roofed, prefabricated ranch house.
20	peak-roofed, prefabricated ranch house.

Table 7: Items Outside a Trailer Park Home

d100, 1d6 times	Outside this home is / are…
1 – 20	a parked car.
21 – 25	a motorcycle.
26 – 29	a bicycle.
30 – 31	a moped.
32 – 35	a mailbox.
36 – 37	an exterior TV antenna.
38 – 40	a trash can.
41 – 42	an exterior propane tank.
43 – 44	a lattice or picket fence.
45 – 46	a clothesline.
47 – 48	a sawhorse.
49 – 50	a barbecue smoker.
51 – 52	a portable grill
53 – 54	a pink flamingo figure
55 – 56	1d4 artificial sunflowers
57 – 58	1d4 pieces of 2 x 4 lumber.
59 – 60	wind chimes.
61 – 62	a doll.
63 – 64	a hobby horse.
65 – 66	a garden gnome
67 – 68	a children’s lemonade stand. Even if there are no children to staff it!
69 – 70	a plastic lawn chair.
71 – 72	a plastic table.
73 – 74	1d4 plants in plastic tubs.
75 – 76	a kiddie pool. The kind you fill with a garden hose. During the summer it is 25% likely an adult is sitting in it.
77 – 78	1d6 rusting car parts.
79 – 80	a cinder block.
82 – 83	a car up on cinder blocks.
84 – 85	a couch.
90 – 91	an ice cooler.
92 – 93	a doghouse. 75% likely to house a dog.
94 – 95	a metal drum.
96 – 97	a plastic bucket.
98 – 99	a concrete birdbath.
100	a store mannequin.

Table 8: The Trailer Park Manager

d12	The Manager is apparently…
1	a greasy sleazeball…
2	a religious fanatic…
3	a competent jack-of-all-trades…
4	an aggressive ex-Marine…
5	a shady ex-con…
6	a failed musician who is usually playing their guitar…
7	a man who screams everything he says
8	an ex-cop who is appears suspicious of everyone…
9	a mature and motherly woman…
10	an incorrigible gossip…
11	an elderly man who is usually asleep…
12	an elderly woman who feigns deafness…

d20	…who is actually…
1 – 9	just what they appear to be.
10	a C.I.A. agent.
11	a K.G.B agent.
12	an undercover cop investigating a criminal ring.
13	a Demon Hunter on the lookout for Evil.
14	an android.
15	the servant of a Vampire.
16	a Psychic or Miracle Worker.
17	a Satanic cultist.
18	a Werewolf.
19	an Extraterrestrial.
20	one of the Fairy Folk.

Table 9: Notable Trailer Park Residents

d20, 1d6 times.	Everyone in the Park knows…
1	the Right-Wing conspiracy theorist who talks incessantly about “The Commies in Hollywood”, and “The Pinkos in New York”.
2	the Left-Wing conspiracy theorist who talks incessantly about “The Man”, and “The Military-Industrial Complex”.
3	the aging beauty queen who propositions every young man.
4	the Vietnam vet who collects weapons. Lots of weapons.
5	the handsome but slightly sleazy Trailer Park Gigolo.
6	the U.F.O enthusiast, with the inside of his trailer papered with photos and magazine articles.
7	the cross-dressing ex-boxer.
8	the woman Truck Driver who can beat any man at arm-wrestling.
9	the Barbecue Master, who eats, breathes, and lives slow-cooked meat.
10	the sly Pawn Broker who runs his business of of his trailer – and may be a fence for stolen goods.
11	the teenage Rock n’ Roller with big dreams of stardom.
12	the down-on-his-luck author who has been everywhere – but wound up here.
13	the popular and pretty cheerleader, who everyone at school thinks lives in a big suburban house.
14	the bighearted stripper who always helps out the less-fortunate residents.
15	the melodramatic Psychic reader who fakes an Eastern European accent – but may actually have real powers.
16	Big Momma, to whom everyone listens – if they know what’s good for them!
17	the Mean Old Man who has been here forever.
18	the woman with all the cats.
19	the religious fanatic who is constantly handing out tracts, and telling everyone that Jesus is returning soon.
20	that nice young man who always keeps to himself and doesn’t bother anyone – except sometimes there’s a rotten smell coming from his trailer.

Repeated results mean there are several individuals of that type in the Park!

Table 10: Average Residents of a Trailer Park

d10	This trailer is inhabited by…
1	a single man.
2	a single woman.
3	two men. 50% chance to actually be a Gay couple.
4	two women. 50% chance to actually be a Lesbian couple.
5	a married man and woman, with no children.
6	an unmarried man and woman, with no children.
7	a married man and woman, with d4 children.
8	an unmarried man and woman, with d4 children.
9	a single mother with d4 children.
10	a single father with d4 children.

Table 11: Community Activities in a Trailer Park

d10	Tonight, there is…
1 – 10	no event.
11 – 12	Bingo.
13	Movie Night. Movie is a poor-quality print, which may or may not be projected onto an actual screen. Determine the title of the movie with the tables for Drive-In Theaters.
14 – 15	poker.
16	softball.
17	a Chinese Auction.
18	a bonfire.
19	a concert.
20	a swim party. If there is no permanent swimming pool, everyone just hangs out around one or more kiddie pools.

Table 12: Criminal Activity in a Trailer Park

d10	This Trailer Park is used for…
1 – 3	no criminal activity, because the honest residents put a stop to it!
4	making methamphetamine.
5	smuggling.
6	drug dealing.
7	prostitution. Either prostitutes who work the nearest Truck Stop (or Motel) live here (with their Pimp if they have one), or there is a prostitution ring actually operating out of the Trailer Park.
8	stashing stolen goods.
9	fencing stolen goods.
10	counterfeiting money. One of the larger homes has a printing press inside.

Table 13: Dark Secret of the Trailer Park

d12	The shocking fact about the Trailer Park is…
1	it’s built directly atop a network of caverns inhabited by degenerate cannibals.
2	one of the residents is a serial killer.
3	it’s built atop an “Indian” Burial Ground!
4	the site is former cemetery – only the headstones were moved.
5	it’s part of a C.I.A. mind control experiment.
6	it’s built atop a toxic waste dump, which is turning residents into cannibalistic Zombies.
7	it’s home to a werewolf pack.
8	it’s haunted by the ghost of murdered former resident.
9	it’s the lair of a Vampire.
10	the residents are frequently abducted by Extraterrestrials.
11	its Mob-owned
12	it’s completely illegal – the owner doesn’t have any necessary licenses, and doesn’t pay any taxes.

Table 14: Overnight Events in a Trailer Park

d20	Tonight…
1	a U.F.O descends above one of the homes, and abducts a resident with a beam of light.
2	Jesus comes to visit in disguise.
3	Government Agents come to take away a little girl who is already a powerful and dangerous Psychic.
4	a propane tank explodes!
5	a sinkhole open up to the caverns below.
6	a bear, or other large animal, wanders into the Park.
7	there is a gunfight between two residents.
8	an Outlaw Biker gangs rolls in, demanding that the residents give up someone who vandalized one of the gang’s bikes at a nearby bar or truck stop.
9	a violent domestic dispute spills out into the common area.
10	a U.F.O. appears overhead, but does not land.
11	the windows of a home suddenly, and inexplicably, shatter.
12	the residents of a trailer unexpectedly vacate it.
13	a cop is seen inspecting several of the homes.
14	The Manager is seen dancing in an empty lot, to music only they can hear.
15	a meteorite crashes into one of the homes.
16	a mysterious baby with no belly button suddenly appears in one of the empty lots.
17	1d4 teenagers start knocking on doors, screaming that they are being chased by a psycho killer.
18	there are strange colored lights and an odd buzzing noise coming from one of the homes.
19	a resident teenager is loudly playing the guitar (or drums).
20	Poltergeist phenomena begins in one of the homes.

Random Generation of Gnomish Hats!

07 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Humor, OGL, OSR, Panzoasia

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Classic Fantasy, Gnome Character, Gnome Love, Gnomes, Gnomides, Gnomish, Gnomish PC, Old-School Fantasy, Panzoasia

The single most important item of a Gnome’s outfit is undoubtedly their hat. Red conical hats have been out-of-style for a long time now – Gnomes only wear them at formal events, like the annual commemoration of an epic practical joke. For everyday wear, most Gnomes will don something much more creative. If it’s not the time for a hat shaped like a pine cone, maybe the classic fruitcake hat will do!

Table 1: Overall Shape of a Gnome’s Hat

d4	This Gnome is wearing…
1	a stiff hat. *Roll on Table 2: Stiff Hats.*
2	a soft hat. Roll on Table 3: Soft Hats.
3	a strange hat. **Roll on Table 4: Strange Hats.**
4	a practical hat. *Roll on Table 5: Practical Hats.*

Table 2: Stiff Hats

d20	The shape of the hat is…
1 – 4	a long, tall cylinder…
5 – 6	a tall, crumpled cylinder…
7	a short cylinder topped, with a tassel…
8	a short cylinder topped, with a pom pom…
9	a short cylinder topped, with a spherical bell…
10	a cone with the point bent forward…
11 – 12	a high cone…
13 – 14	a low cone…
15 – 16	a bulbous cone…
17	a cube…
18	a high cone twisted into a spiral…
19	a cone with multiple brims (or ribbon bands) up its length…
20	a sphere…

d20	…with…
1 – 2	no brim, just a ribbon band, (Band will be tied into a large bow is Gnome is female.)
3 – 4	a round brim,
5	a round brim and a feather,
6	a round brim accented by small round bells,
7	a square brim,
8	a square brim accented by small round bells,
9	a triangular brim and a feather,
10	a triangular brim accented by small round bells,
11	a polygonal brim,
12	a polygonal brim accented by small round bells,
13	a stellate brim,
14	a stellate brim accented by small round bells,
15	a scalloped brim,
16	a scalloped brim accented by small round bells,
17	a brim of shortly cropped fur,
18	a plush fur brim,
19	a metal band,
20	a metal band accented with gems,

d12	…and the hat seems to be made primarily of…
1 – 2	felt…
3 – 4	shortly cropped fur…
5	plush fur…
6	papier mache…
7	leather…
8	starched cloth…
9	cloth (with an interior framework)…
10	thin metal…
11	thin wood…
12	giant insect carapaces…

d8	…colored in…
1 – 2	a solid tone… Roll once on next table.
3	horizontal stripes… Roll twice on next table.
4	vertical stripes… Roll twice on next table.
5	a square checked pattern… Roll twice on next table.
6	a diamond checked pattern… Roll twice on next table.
7	a tartan pattern… Roll three times on next table.
8	a floral pattern.. Roll three times on next table.

d10	…of…
1 – 2	red.
3	orange.
4	green.
5	white.
6	black.
7	yellow.
8	blue.
9	purple.
10	violet.

Repeated results indicate different hues and shades of the same color.

Table 3: Soft Hats

d20	The shape of the hat is…
1 – 2	floppy and conical…
3 – 4	floppy and conical, with a pom-pom…
5 – 6	floppy and conical, with a round bell…
7	floppy and conical, ending in two points…
8	floppy and conical, ending in two points with pom-poms…
9	floppy and conical, ending in two points with round bells…
10	a floppy tube ending in 3 points…
11	a floppy tube ending in 3 points with pom-poms…
12	a floppy tube ending in 3 points with round bells…
13	a large floppy, bag-like shape…
14	floppy and round (beret)….
15	floppy and round, with a pom-pom….
16	floppy and round, with a round bell….
17	a skullcap…
18	a skullcap with a pom-pom…
19	a skullcap with a propeller…
20	turban-like…

d8	…and it seems to be made primarily of…
1 – 3	felt…
4	smooth cloth…
5	textured cloth…
6	leather…
7	fur…
8	knitted yarn…

d8	…colored in…
1 – 2	a solid tone… Roll once on next table.
3	horizontal stripes… Roll twice on next table.
4	vertical stripes… Roll twice on next table.
5	a square checked pattern… Roll twice on next table.
6	a diamond checked pattern… Roll twice on next table.
7	a tartan pattern… Roll three times on next table.
8	a floral pattern… Roll three times on next table.

d10	…of…
1 – 2	red.
3	orange.
4	green.
5	white.
6	black.
7	yellow.
8	blue.
9	purple.
10	violet.

Repeated results indicate different hues and shades of the same color.

Table 4: Strange Hats

d30	This strange hat is..
1	a felt cylinder with a small door in it, allowing access to some item inside.
2	a wooden top-hat with a small door in it, allowing access to some item inside.
3	apparently a complete jack-in-the-box!
4	a birdcage, with an artificial bird inside.
5	a birdcage, with a live bird inside!
6	woven from thin, flexible willow stems.
7	made of tree bark.
8	wicker framework covered with flowers.
9	wicker framework covered with foliage.
10	wicker framework covered with flowers and foliage.
11	cubical, but transformable into a sphere by pulling a ribbon.
12	sculpted like a fish tail.
13	sculpted like a fish head
14	sculpted like a grotesque humanoid head.
15	sculpted like a bird head
16	sculpted like a sheep head
17	sculpted like a hedgehog head
18	sculpted like a rabbit head
19	sculpted like a mole head
20	sculpted like a groundhog head
21	sculpted like a squirrel head.
22	sculpted like a lizard headgear
23	sculpted to resemble a horn.
24	sculpted like a tree.
25	sculpted to resemble a mushroom
26	sculpted to resemble a stout tree.
27	sculpted to resemble a pine-cone
28	sculpted to resemble an acorn.
29	sculpted to resemble a beehive.
30	sculpted like a pair of upside-down legs in trousers, complete with shoes and feet.

Table 5: Practical Hats

d12	This cleverly constructed hat is…
1	actually a stuffed pin cushion (with d20 pins stuck in it)
2	actually a basket.
3	a folding parasol.
4	a folded-up travel map, with handy foreign phrases.
5	actually a lantern worn on the head.
6	actually a small barrel of liquor with a spigot.
7	actually a wineskin, with a capped spout.
8	a metal cylinder equipped with a magnifying glass, scissors, tweezers, and various other tools.
9	actually a horned instrument coiled around the Gnome’s head.
10	actually a cookie jar.
11	actually an edible fruitcake, covered with a cloth.
12	actually a loaf of bread, baked in a hat mold.

Note: the one shape that Gnomes will never wear is a hat that resembles an upside-down boot or shoe, due to the popularity of such headgear among Kobolds.

Table 10: Ethnic Makeup of a Small Town

Table 11: General Disposition of Adults and Teens in a Small Town

Table 12: Pride of a Small Town

Table 13: Most Beloved Event or Celebration in an American Small Town

Share this:

Table 1: Name of a Small Town

Table 2: Population of a Small Town

Table 3: Slogan of a Small Town

Table 4: The Local Landmark of a Small Town

Table 5: Main Industry of a Small Town

Table 6a: Basic Layout of a Small Town

Table 6b: Districts of a Small Town

Table 7: First Impression of a Small Town

Table 8: Predominant Architecture of Buildings in a Small Town

Table 9: The Dark Secret of a Small Town

Share this:

Table 1: Size of a Church

Table 2: Architectural Style of a Church

Table 3: Apparent Denomination of a Church

Table 4: Writing on a Church Message Board

Table 5: Condition of a Church Exterior.

Table 6: The Church Grounds.

Table 7: The Actual Use of a Church

Share this:

Table 1: Monument, memorial, or Shrine Subject

Table 2a: Monuments

Table 2b. Roadside Memorials

Table 2c. Religious Shrines

Table 3: Effect of an Offering at a Memorial, Monument, or Shrine

Share this:

Table 1: Architecture and Decor of a Souvenir Shop

Table 2: Items for Sale in a Souvenir Shop

Table 3: Quality of Items in a Souvenir Shop

Table 4: Patrons in a Souvenir Shop

Table 5: Cashier in a Souvenir Shop

Table 6: Other things to see in a Souvenir Shop

Table 7: Singular Objects for Sale in a Souvenir Shop

Share this:

Table 1: The Mystery Spot Sign

Table 2: The Anti-Gravity Effect

Table 3: Mystery Spot Amenities

Table 4: Mystery Spot Pay Toilets.

Table 5: Mystery Spot Concession Stand

Table 6: Mystery Spot Souvenirs

Table 7: Mystery Spot Attendant

Share this:

Table 1: House Style

Table 2: House Color

Table 3: Overall Condition of the House

Table 3: The Attached Property

Table 4: Notable Features of the House and Property

Table 5: House Inhabitants

Table 6: Cars on the Property

Share this:

Table 1: Roadside Museum Collection

Table 2: Architecture of a Roadside Museum

Table 3a: Outdoor Collection of a Roadside Museum

Table 3b: Notable Facts About the Outdoor Collection

Table 4a: Indoor Collection of a Roadside Museum

Table 4b: Notable Facts About the Indoor Collection

Table 5: State of a Roadside Museum’s Collection

Table 6: Other Patrons at a Roadside Museum

Table 7: Roadside Museum Concessions

Table 8: Items in a Roadside Museum’s Souvenir Shop

Share this:

Table 1: Reason to Stop at a Trailer Park

Table 2: Trailer Park Name

Table 3: Size of the Park

Table 4: Trailer Park Enclosure

Table 5: Trailer Park Amenities

Table 6: Trailer And Mobile Home Types

Table 7: Items Outside a Trailer Park Home

Table 8: The Trailer Park Manager

Table 9: Notable Trailer Park Residents

Table 10: Average Residents of a Trailer Park

Table 11: Community Activities in a Trailer Park

Table 12: Criminal Activity in a Trailer Park

Table 13: Dark Secret of the Trailer Park

Table 14: Overnight Events in a Trailer Park

Share this: