Local Legends from the Uncanny Highway

03 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Tags

1960s, 1970s, American folklore, Americana fantasy, Cryptozoological Creature, Cryptozoology, fortean phenomona, forteana, Gothic America, Groovy Era, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, sci fi, science-fiction, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Urban Legend, Weird America

Almost everyone who lives along the Uncanny Highway has a story to tell, and knows a friend-of-a-friend who witnessed something bizarre.

Some of the stories below are straight retellings of well-known Urban Legends. Others are tales of the type that would freely circulate during the Groovy Era of the late 1960s and 70s. Naturally, the PCs might wind up hearing what are essentially the same stories everywhere along the road.

See also Tales Told by Men and Tales Told By Women, to determine the stories PCs hear in bars and barbershops, in the lounges of truck stops, and in the aisles of small town grocery stores.

First, roll a d12 to determine which Table to use. Then, roll a d6 to determine the story told.

Table 1

d6	An infamous outlaw…
1	committed his worst massacre right in this area.
2	was hung here, and his ghost still walks around with the noose around his neck.
3	was gunned down by a posse, and cursed the nearby town for it.
4	came through this area, and a local girl ran away with him. After he got shot down, she started wearing his clothes and robbing people herself. The victims all though it was the outlaw himself, come back from the dead!
5	secretly settled down around here, and used his stolen money to reinvent himself and become a respectable town father. His descendants are still well-connected, so I can’t tell you who they are without there being consequences, if they find out I told you.
6	buried a fortune in gold and silver coins somewhere around here.

Table 2

d6	A stranger came to town…
1	and murdered several women in this really sick way before being caught red-handed and executed. But you know, my buddy’s cousin is a cop, and they still sometimes find women killed that same way. In locked rooms, too! It’s all hushed up whenever it happens, though.
2	and was able to cure supposedly incurable patients at the hospital.
3	and built a house (or other structure) without a single nail.
4	and opened a mortuary. Turns out, he was selling the bodies to medical schools and hospitals, and burying coffins filled with rocks.
5	and people started developing severe cases of anemia. Some of them died. Thing is, people kept seeing them walking around at night. It didn’t stop until another stranger came around, looking for the stranger. I guess she found him, and did whatever needed doing!
6	and started taking pictures of everyone. They say if he took your picture, you wouldn’t have a reflection any more.

Table 3

d6	Long ago, a settler girl…
1	was buried alive. Sometimes, you still hear her scratching inside her grave.
2	was scalped, and her ghost still wanders, looking for the top of her head. You know it’s her, because she won’t take off her hat.
3	ran away with a native man. When her daddy went with some men to take her back home, she and the man killed them off one by one – and the girl even killed her own father! Now, if young ladies are seeing some boy their daddy doesn’t like, they will go to that girl’s grave and leave offerings, so her ghost will help them out.
4	found some strange buried tablets inscribed with Egyptian hieroglyphs. Now they’re in some Roadside Museum out on the Highway.
5	fell down a sinkhole. When somebody finally got her back up with a rope, she said that she saw strange people living in the caves underneath. Supposedly that sinkhole in still in the basement of some house around here.
6	had a vision, and started healing people. This cult formed around her, and eventually they all killed themselves thinking that the Apocalypse was about to start. Sometimes you can see their ghosts wandering out on the Highway.

Table 4

d6	A local girl…
1	was abducted and killed in a snuff film. A friend of a friend’s cousin has actually seen it!
2	made it big as a model in New York City – because she sold her soul to Satan. I know someone who went to High School with her, but she looked different then, and had a different name.
3	had this red spot on her face which kept getting bigger, until one day it burst open and spiders came out! A friend of my sister’s friend saw it happen!
4	died in an auto accident a few years back on the way to prom. They say that she still haunts the Highway, wearing her prom dress and asking for a ride to the dance. My second cousin says he knew a guy who actually picked her up once.
5	got lost in the woods, and when they found her years later she ran around on all fours, ate raw meat, and growled like an animal – because she had living with wolves! My dad said that his uncle told him all all about it.
6	used have one of those beehive hairdos, which she never washed out. Well one day her head hurt and it started bleeding – because spiders had nested in her hair, and were eating her brain! It really happened, because my mom’s best friend told me all about it, and she had heard it from her hairdresser.

Table 5

d6	A local boy…
1	started seeing visions of the Virgin Mary, and she told him that this Pope is going to be the last one before the world ends.
2	played one of his records backwards, and killed his parents because the song told him to!
3	ate some new kind of candy while drinking soda – and he died because his stomach exploded!
4	found a buried piece of wood carved with Viking writing. When he brought it to a University, they dated it to the 12th century!
5	wandered deep into a local cave and says he saw little people having a party, but they threatened to put out his eyes if he didn’t run away home.
6	bit into one of the apples he got for Halloween, and there was a razor blade in it! My cousin’s best fiend’s mother was a nurse, and she actually saw the kid come into the hospital!

Table 6

d6	A local car dealer…
1	bought this car at auction, but apparently the trunk had been used to hide a dead body. So he cleaned it up, got the smell out, and sold it. But, the buyer came back in a few days, saying that the car started to smell like death and he wanted his money back. So, the dealer takes back the car, and cleans it again. It smells just fine, so he sells it. But the second buyer also says the car started smelling like death in a few days. This happens every time that car gets sold. So watch out if you buy a used vehicle, because it might be the death car!
2	told me that those new cars coming in from overseas all have little cameras in them, and when you bring them in to be serviced the pictures are collected.
3	accidentally sold a local woman an experimental car that gets 500 miles a gallon. She realized something was strange when she had driven it for a week, but the needle on her gas gauge didn’t seem to move. When she told the dealer, he bought the car back for $30,000! So they can make cars like that – they just don’t want to!
4	sold this big luxury car to some banker. But the banker started hearing a rattling noise every time he drove. He complained to the dealer, who had the car thoroughly cleaned and searched. There wasn’t anything loose inside the car to make the noise, so the banker took the vehicle back. Still, it rattled. This kept up until one day the banker was in an accident, and his driver-side door was damaged. Turns out that inside the door was a wrench suspended from a string, and a note that read “Congratulations, you rich bastard. You found the rattle!” And you know what, I used to work with the guy whose brother worked on the assembly line, and he saw the guy who put the wrench in the door in the first place!
5	disappeared after he started telling customers that driving certain cars marked you for abduction by aliens. I know a guy whose uncle was there in the dealership the day when two guys in black suits came in, and asked the dealer to step outside. That dealer never walked back in the door.
6	absolutely loved his convertible, and was actually buried in it. In fact, they say he loved that car so much that he you can still see his ghost driving around in it. I guess cars can be ghosts too!

Table 7

d6	These two kids were up in Lover’s Lane and…
1	were attacked by a killer with a hook for a hand. He got the boy, but the girl escaped.
2	got abducted by a U.F.O. And apparently, now she’s pregnant with an alien’s baby!
3	got taken away by guys in hazmat suits. They’ve never been seen again, but supposedly their parents got rich all of a sudden after that.
4	their car was attacked by a gang of albino dwarves with little axes.
5	their car was chased by glowing balls of light.
6	this guy in a clown suit and a baseball bat began busting up everyone’s cars!

Table 8

d6	A respected local businessman…
1	kept abducted girls imprisoned in his basement, and they were only found after he took a heart attack and cops came with the ambulance. At least one of them is still alive, because my sister-in-law’s cousin’s friend worked with her. To find the supposed year, add 1d20 to 1950. The year might be different each time the story is told.
2	turned out to be the pimp running girls at a nearby truck stop.
3	committed incest with his daughter, and their deformed child became a serial killer. He’s still out there – so if you see a man in a mask, and it ain’t Halloween, run! As for the daughter, she’s in an asylum now. My aunt’s friend’s daughter is a nurse there.
4	murdered his whole family, and disappeared. My sister goes to the same beauty parlor as the guy’s old secretary, and she says that he was the nicest boss she ever had.
5	died, and when the police went through his house, they found a whole room set up for Black Masses. One of those cops was my cousin’s best friend, back in High School.
6	turned out to be a spy for the K.G.B. I know a woman whose husband’s friend is in the government, and she told me it’s really true.

Table 9

d6	An entire busload of kids…
1	just disappeared without a trace one day. There were also a lot of U.F.O. sightings around that time, so you have to wonder if the two things are connected. To find the supposed year, add 1d20 to 1945. The year might be different each time the story is told.
2	crashed during a storm, and now their angry ghosts wander the Highway. Don’t ever pick up any children hitchhiking alone around here! To find the supposed year, add 1d20 to 1945. The year might be different each time the story is told.
3	decided to murder their driver – just tore him apart. Nobody ever found out the reason why, but all of them have been in the loony bin ever since. To find the supposed year, add 1d20 to 1945. The year might be different each time the story is told.
4	saw Bigfoot standing on the side of the road.
5	got exposed to some toxic waste that came off the back of an army truck. The kids started looking like they were dead, and wanted to eat raw meat, so the government came and took them away. To find the supposed year, add 1d20 to 1950. The year might be different each time the story is told.
6	saw Jesus appear to them, and he told them that that the Soviet Union was going to start World War III soon.

Table 10

d6	A local family…
1	were all murdered except for the father, who hasn’t been seen since.
2	used to take in unwed mothers, and murder their babies for Satan.
3	were murdered by drug-crazed hippies!
4	came home one night and noticed that their dog was choking. They brought the dog to the vet for an immediate emergency operation, and some human fingers were removed form the dog’s throat. The family called the police, who discovered a bugler hiding in the home – bleeding to death because the fingers of one hand had been bitten off.
5	came home from the movies and discovered that the babysitter had cooked their baby in the oven while high on LSD.
6	insulted some carnies, and were all cursed to turn into werewolves! They’re still out there, wandering in the wilderness off the Highway.

Table 11

d6	There was this Chief who…
1	cursed the land because the treaty with his people was broken. That’s why everybody’s luck turns bad around here.
2	still rides his spectral horse on the highway. I saw him once myself when I was younger.
3	will give you good luck if you leave a cigar on his grave.
4	supposedly learned how to become immortal, and some people say he still lives around here in disguise.
5	killed his daughter for marrying a settler, and her ghost still haunts the road.
6	was never killed or captured, and even through he gave the Army hell, was ultimately pardoned on account of his honor and bravery. I know a woman who went to school with someone who claims to be descended from him.

Table 12

d6	This housewife was alone in her house…
1	when her dog came back from the yard with a bone in its mouth. She and her husband had just bought the place cheap, so they got suspicious and dug up the yard, which the previous owner had re-sodded just before the sale. They found the buried bodies of a dozen girls who had gone missing over the years – but nobody ever saw the previous owner again.
2	and doing her laundry in the basement, so she decided to take off what she was wearing and wash it too. But she had metal curlers in, and there was a drip from a pipe overhead, so she put on her son’s football helmet so they wouldn’t rust. Just then the outside basement doors open, and it’s the meter reader. So she hides in a corner and freezes – trying to look like a mannequin or something. Anyway, she thinks she’s gotten away with it because the guy doesn’t say nothing. But then when he’s about to leave, he turns to her and says “I don’t know who you’re rooting for, lady, but I hope your team wins!” I know it happened, because my brother’s best friend’s cousin was the guy!
3	when she started hearing a voice and banging noises. She looked in all the rooms, but couldn’t find anyone. It kept up for a week, while her husband was away on business. Then, the morning after he returned, her husband noticed the hatch to the attic – which they never used – was left open. The husband went up there, and found a sleeping bag, soda bottles, bags of junk food – and screw-top jars that someone had been using to relieve themselves!
4	when there was knock on the door. Standing out there was her son, in his Army dress uniform. He said that he got shot in Vietnam, but she shouldn’t worry, because they’ve let him come home. He stays a while, but then he tells her that he’s got someplace he’s got to go, and leaves. Just then the mail comes, and she gets a letter from the Army, telling her that her son had been killed in combat.
5	and had just gotten out of the shower when when she hears the doorbell ring, and a guy shouting “It’s the blind man”. So she must have figured he couldn’t see her anyway, because she grabs a few dollars, goes to the front door, and opens it while she’ still naked. She hands the guy the money – and that’s when she notices he’s a workman holding the new window blinds she ordered! And if you think it didn’t happen, let me ask you, “Do I look blind?”
6	when these two guys in black suits show up at the door, asking if she’s seen a U.F.O. She hadn’t, but she remembered that her neighbor had been talking about one at the beauty parlor. So she tells that to the men, and then they go next door. The woman doesn’t think any more about the visit until the next morning, when she decides to ask her neighbor what happened. That when she notices that the house is completely empty, and the entire family is gone!

Newspapers of the Uncanny Highway

01 Monday Aug 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, Cryptozoological Creature, Cryptozoology, fortean phenomona, forteana, Gothic America, Groovy Era, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, sci fi, science-fiction, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

The Groovy Era of the late 1960s and 1970s had a very different media environment than today. Print newspapers were as ubiquitous as cigarettes also were, and characters driving the Uncanny Highway would be able to pick up a local paper at almost any Gas Station, Truck Stop, or Motel along their route. In the days before the corporate conglomerations and media consolidations of the 1980s and 1990s, almost every small town in America would have it’s own independently-owned newspaper dedicated to local news – and that paper could be seen atop every kitchen table in town.

To maintain pacing in an un-directed “crawl” such as the Uncanny Highway setting, the Game Master must provide Players with a plethora of “hooks” constituting suggested possible courses of action. Local Newspapers are one way to introduce them.

In addition to using the tables given here, additional news stories can be constructed from Tables 34 and 38 in “Small Towns of the Uncanny Highway Part VI”, or the “Events”, “Encounters” or “Secrets” tables for any location of the Uncanny Highway.

Table 1: Newspaper Name

25% chance the name is a compound, such as “News-Tribune” or “Post-Examiner”. If so, roll twice on the table, ignoring duplicated names.

d20	The Newspaper along this Section of Highway is the [Town Name]…
1 – 2	News.
3 – 4	Journal.
5 – 6	Post.
7	Independent.
8	Gazette.
9	Leader.
10	Examiner.
11	Tribune.
12	Ombudsman.
13	Oracle.
14	Press.
15	Daily.
16	Record.
17	Ledger.
18	Reporter.
19	Sentinel.
20	Chronicle.

To determine the [Town Name], see SMALL TOWNS Table 1: Name of a Small Town.

Table 2: Newspaper Lead Story

d20, d20	Today’s lead story is…
1	“Headless Body Found in…	…[Town Name]”.
2	“Murder at…	…a Local Truck Stop”.
3	“Woman Disappears From…	…a Local Gas Station”.
4	“Explosion in…	…a Local Motel”.
5	“Fire in…	…a Local Eatery”.
6	“U.F.Os Seen over…	…a Local Farm”.
7	“Killer Stalks…	…a Local Bar”.
8	“F.B.I Raids…	…a Local Drive-In”.
9	“Tragic Accident in…	…a Local Trailer Park”.
10	“Gang Attacks…	…a Local Museum”.
11	“Strange Creature Seen at…	…a Local Church”.
12	“Purported Haunting in…	…a Local Amusement Park”.
13	“Missing Girl Found in…	…a Local Souvenir Shop”.
14	“Missing Boy Found in…	…a Local Grocery Store”.
15	“Fugitive Found in…	…a Local Library”.
16	“Shootout in…	…a Local School”.
17	“IRS raids…	…a Local Hospital”.
18	“Collapse in/at…	…a Local Drugstore / Pharmacy”.
19	“Highway Accident near…	…a Local park”.
20	“Child Abducted From…	…a House on the Highway”.

Table 3: Strange News Stories

These stories reflect some of the peculiar obsessions of the Groovy Era, such as the Bermuda Triangle, and spoon-bending.

d100	The strangest headline in the paper reads…
1 – 2	“The Coming Ice Age!”
3 – 4	“Can a Psychic Solve a Kidnapping?”
5 – 6	“The Killer Bees – Are They Here Already?”
7 – 8	“Will Our Children be Cyborgs?”
9 – 10	“When Fish Fall From the Sky”
11 – 12	“Are Plants Psychic?”
13 – 14	“Can You Bend Spoons With Your Mind?”
15 – 16	“Is the Holy Grail Hidden in America?”
17 – 18	“Can the Dead Speak Through Spirit Mediums?”
19 – 20	“Secret Government Research Into E.S.P”
21 – 22	“Is Parapsychology a Real Science?”
23 – 24	“Can This Man Repair Car Engines With His Mind?”
25 – 26	“The Science of Clairvoyance”
27 – 28	“Teleportation in Fact and Fiction”
29 – 30	“Spontaneous Human Combustion – The Facts”
31 – 32	“Atlantis – Fact or Fiction?”
33 – 34	“Does Bigfoot Stalk the Forests?”
35 – 36	“Ancient Astronauts in America”
37 – 38	“The Bermuda Triangle – Fact and Fiction”
39 – 40	“Phone Calls From the Dead”
41 – 42	“Faith Healing and Modern Medicine”
43 – 44	“The Curse of the Pharaohs in an American Museum”
45 – 46	“The Mysterious Disappearance of Roanoke”
47 – 48	“Nostradamus’ Predictions for America”
49 – 50	“What’s Happening at Area 51?”
51 – 52	“Do Living Things Have Auras?”
53 – 54	“Can Men Become Beasts?”
55 – 56	“Are Escaped Nazis Here in America?”
57 – 58	“Reincarnation – Fact or Fiction?”
59 – 60	“Is Astrology Better Than Psychology?”
61 – 62	“Is Princess Anastasia Still Alive?”
63 – 64	“Acupuncture – the Ancient Practice is the New Miracle Cure”
65 – 66	“Is Noah’s Ark in the Rocky Mountains?”
67 – 68	“Did Vikings Discover America?”
69 – 70	“Are the Dinosaurs Really Extinct?”
71 – 72	“Will Computers Become Sentient?”
73 – 74	“Cryogenics – Fraud, or the Future?”
75 – 76	“Dowsing for Water and Oil”
77 – 78	“The Truth About Demonic Possession”
79 – 80	“Satanic Cults in America”
81 – 82	“Is Paganism the Religion of the Future?”
83 – 84	“Do Tarot Card Predict the Future?”
85 – 86	“Did the Chinese Discover America?”
87 – 88	“Can Ghosts be Photographed?”
89 – 90	“The Missing Link Found in America”
91 – 92	“Is the Antichrist Alive Already?”
93 – 94	“Haunted Cars on the Highway”
95 – 96	“Do Aliens Live Among Us?”
97 – 98	“The Curse of Robert Johnson”
99 – 100	“Can you Make Love With a Ghost?”

Table 4: Today’s Horoscope

d12, d12	Your sign’s daily horoscope reads…
1	Love..	…will come your way.
2	A new friend…	…will be found in an unexpected place.
3	A secret enemy…	…is just around the corner.
4	New opportunity…	…will manifest in the coming weeks.
5	Money…	…will suddenly appear when you least expect it.
6	Happiness…	…will look like something else when you find it.
7	Heartbreak…	…is just the beginning of your interesting month.
8	The answer you’ve been seeking…	…is more than you even expect.
9	A change of fortune…	…will become obvious shortly.
10	Some good news…	…can be transformed by your decisions, so take care.
11	The job of your dreams…	…is just your Karma working itself out.
12	Something lost…	…is part of your Soul Purpose, so have faith.

Table 5: Most Notable Advertisement in a Newspaper

d20	The ad that really catches your eye is for…
1	an Amusement or Theme Park.
2	a Bar or Roadhouse.
3	a Church.
4	a Drive-In Theater.
5	a Diner, Restaurant, or Eatery.
6	a Farm that sells directly to public.
7	a Gas Station.
8	a Motel.
9	a Mystery Spot or Gravity Hill. With Amenities.
10	a Roadside Museum.
11	a Souvenir Shop.
12	a Trailer Park, with vacant lots available.
13	a Truck Stop.
14 – 20	A local business in the nearest town.

Roll again is there is no such business located anywhere along this 100-mile Section of road.

Table 6: Letters to the Editor

d8	The most notable letter to the editor is…
1	barely literate,..
2	poorly articulated,…
3	filled with self-contradictory statements,…
4	filled with unnecessarily bigoted statements,…
5	filled with random capitalizations and misused words,…
6	full of non-sequiturs,…
7	practically word-salad,…
8	surprisingly rational and well-reasoned,…

d6	…it is apparently…
1 – 3	in favor…
4 – 5	critical…
6	an attempt at an unbiased examination…

d20	…of…
1	the Vietnam War,…
2	the President’s economic policies,…
3	the President’s social policies,…
4	marijuana legalization,…
5	increased environmental regulation,…
6	busing to desegregate schools,…
7	legal abortion,…
8	nuclear power,…
9	Swinging,…
10	Feminism,…
11	Astrology,…
12	Gay Rights,…
13	Vegetarianism,…
14	détente with Soviet Union,…
15	normalizing relations with the People’s Republic of China,…
16	space exploration and funding for NASA,…
17	teaching Evolution in schools,…
18	movie censorship,…
19	self-help groups,…
20	the United Nations,…

d20	…and is actually…
1 – 11	exactly what it appears to be.
12	coded instructions for C.I.A. agents operating in the area.
13	coded instructions for K.G.B agents operating in the area.
14	coded instructions for disguised Extraterrestrials living in the area.
15	a coded letter from a serial killer, indicating where they will strike next.
16	a coded prediction of the next week’s world events.
17	coded directions to a stash of buried gold.
18	a coded communication from a supposedly dead celebrity to the “handler” in charge of them.
19	coded directions to a secret auction of recovered alien technology.
20	a coded ritual to summon the Devil.

Table 7: Movie Reviews

See the appropriate tables in DRIVE-IN THEATERS to determine the movie title, and most memorable part of the film.

d6	The review is…
1	scathingly critical.
2	generally bad.
3 – 4	that the movie is unexceptional in any way.
5	generally good.
6	extremely favorable.

Table 8: Help Wanted Ads

d20	Characters running out of money could find work at a nearby….
1	Main Industry. See SMALL TOWNS Table 5: Main Industry of a Small Town.
2	Truck Stop.
3	Gas Station.
4	Motel.
5	Eatery.
6	Farm.
7	Bar.
8	Drive-In.
9	Museum.
10	Amusement Park.
11	Souvenir Shop.
12	Grocery Store.
13	Library.
14	School.
15	Bookstore.
16	Drugstore / Pharmacy.
17	Funeral Home /Mortuary.
18	Automotive Garage.
19	Gun Shop.
20	Trucking Company.

Vanishing Hitchhikers of the Uncanny Highway

27 Wednesday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, ghost story, Gothic America, Groovy Era, Haunted America, haunting, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, spirits, Urban Fantasy, Urban Legend, Weird America

Drive the Uncanny Highway for long enough, and you are bound to bound to encounter hitchhikers. Of course, most are just flesh-and-blood people who just want to get where they are going – or possibly skin you alive and wear your face. Others, however, are on an altogether longer journey.

These tables create the kind of Vanishing (or Phantom) Hitchhikers that are a staple of legends and folktales throughout America.

d12	Standing on the side of the road is a…
1	little girl in a white dress.
2	little boy in a suit.
3	teenage girl in a prom dress.
4	teenage boy in a prom tuxedo.
5	soldier in fatigues.
6	soldier in his dress uniform
7	male hippie. 50% chance to have a guitar.
8	female hippie. 50% chance to have a tambourine.
9	woman in a white dress.
10	man in the rough clothes of a hobo.
11	well-dressed older man.
12	old woman in rags.

d12	If you stop and ask them, they want to be taken…
1	to the nearest bar or roadhouse. If the ghost is an adult, they want to drink there. If the ghost is a child or teenager, they are supposed to be meeting their parents there. They died in or near the bar.
2	to the nearest roadside church, where they are late for a service. If there is a churchyard, they are buried there. If it is after midnight, there is a 75% chance the Church service is being attended exclusively by ghosts.
3	to the nearest farm, where they (or a relative) supposedly lives.
4	to the nearest roadside house, where they (or a relative) supposedly lives.
5	to the nearest roadside memorial. The memorial will be to them, of course.
6	to the nearest motel. The ghost died there, of course.
7	to the nearest roadside museum. If the ghost is an adult, they are supposedly applying for a job. If the ghost is a child or teenager, they are supposed to be meeting their parents there.
8	to the nearest trailer park, where they (or a relative) supposedly lives.
9	to the nearest truck stop. If the ghost is an adult, they are supposedly applying for a job. If the ghost is a child or teenager, they are supposed to be meeting their parents there.
10	to the nearest intersection. They died there in a fatal accident, of course.
11	to the school the nearest small town. Teenage ghosts will naturally claim to be going to a dance, or their Prom.
12	to a seemingly empty stretch of the road, which turns out to be the entrance to a graveyard. Naturally, their grave is inside.

d10	Along the way, they will…
1	ask to borrow an article of clothing. Possibly a coat, or a hat. If the PCs realize the Hitchhiker is dead and subsequently find their grave, the clothing will be on it, or draped on the headstone.
2	ask to stop someplace where they can dance (or talk) for a while with the PCs.
3	giggle constantly.
4	be completely silent.
5	talk about Heaven, Hell, and the afterlife.
6	talk about reincarnation, and how they think they might want to come back again in another body. If the ghost brought to place where there is a young woman present, that woman is obviously newly pregnant.
7	give a prediction of doom for the driver.
8	give a prediction of doom for the world.
9	give a prediction of good fortune for the driver.
10	give a prediction of good news for the world.

d8	Once they arrive at their destination, they will
1	leave behind an article of clothing, and disappear.
2	hand the driver a hand-written letter to a loved one, and disappear.
3	grab the driver, leave an indelible hand-print on their arm, and disappear.
4	exit the vehicle, touch its outer body to leave an indelible hand-print, and disappear.
5	laugh, and disappear.
6	howl, and disappear.
7	point to the location, and suddenly disappear.
8	disappear from the car without sound or warning.

Strange Animals and Creatures of the Uncanny Highway

22 Friday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, Cryptozoological Creature, Cryptozoology, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, sci fi, Science Fiction, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

Stay on the Uncanny Highway long enough, and you will see many strange creatures – some almost human, and others almost incomprehensibly bizarre.

Tables 1a to 1g below are broken down by geographic/cultural region. Tables 2a and 2b will create a potentially wacky extraterrestrial encounter of the kind that was common in the 1960s and early 70s, before the so-called “Gray” became the dominant type type of alien being reported. Table 3 will create strange humanoids like the Loveland Frog of Ohio. Table 4 creates weird and unique hybrid animals.

These tables do not cover ghosts or hauntings, other than the possibility of an immaterial white deer or buffalo.

Table 1a: Encounters in the Northeast

Connecticut, Delaware*, Maine, Maryland*, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

d20	You see a(n)…
1 – 3	Jersey Devil. A creature with a head like a horned horse, a body like a dog standing on its hind legs, and cloven hooves on its hind legs. It has bat-like wings, and a lizard-like tail that forks into three ends.
4	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
5	Werewolf.
6 – 7	Vampire.
8	Giant Bear.
9 – 10	Mountain Lion (officially extinct). 50% chance it will be a completely black “panther”.
11	Giant Poisonous Snake with glowing eyes. 30’ in length.
12	Bigfoot. A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
13	Star Jelly. A pulsating and flowing, mucus-like mass about the size of a basketball. It consumes any organic matter it touches, and grows progressively larger.
14	Zombie.
15	Alligator. Should not be in this climate.
16 – 18	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
19 – 20	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

* The GM can alternately use the table for the South, if they prefer.

Table 1b: Encounters in the South

Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas (east of Dallas), Virginia, and West Virginia.

d20	You see a(n)…
1	Mothman. A black humanoid with wings and glowing red eyes that are painful to look at.
2	Swamp Ape. A shaggy humanoid about the size of a person, emitting a disgusting odor.
3	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
4	Werewolf.
5	Vampire.
6 – 7	Giant Feral Hog.
8	Joint Snake. A large green snake that can break itself up into pieces, and rejoin those pieces back together.
9	Zombie.
10	Wampus Cat. A six legged mountain lion with glowing yellow eyes, that can rear up on just four or two of its legs.
11	Giant Bear.
12	Giant Alligator.
13	Giant Hairless Dog.
14	Giant Poisonous Snake with glowing eyes. 30’ in length.
15	Giant Killer Swamp Rabbit.
16	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
17	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.
18 – 20	Hellhound (on someone’s trail). A large black dog with glowing red eyes, who can smell its quarry wherever they are (unless in a church, or enclosed in a magic circle).

Table 1c: Encounters in the Midwest

Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, and Wisconsin.

d12	You see a(n)…
1	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
3 – 4	Werewolf.
4	Vampire.
5	Hodag. A horned beast with a shaggy, bull-like body; long claws; a lizard-like tail; long tusks like a walrus; and a row of spikes along its back.
6	Wampus Cat. A six legged mountain lion with glowing yellow eyes, that can rear up on just four or two of its legs.
7	Bigfoot. A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
8	Giant Bear.
9	Zombie.
10	Wendigo. A severely emaciated humanoid taller than the tallest man, with cadaverous skin, claws, and rotted lips that show the being’s sharp teeth.
11	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
12	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

Table 1d: Encounters in the Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains

Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oregon east of the Cascades, South Dakota, Utah, Washington (east of the Cascades), and Wyoming.

d12	You see a(n)…
1 – 2	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
3	Werewolf.
4	Vampire.
5	Jackalope. A large hare with either antlers, or horns resembling those of a pronghorn antelope.
6	Giant Wolf.
7	Bigfoot. A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
8	White Buffalo. 75% likely to be immaterial, and immune to physical attacks. Not actually a ghost, and is immune to magic or technology that affects ghosts.
9	Giant Mountain Lion.
10	White Pronghorn Antelope. 75% likely to be immaterial, and immune to physical attacks. Not actually a ghost, and is immune to magic or technology that affects ghosts.
11	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
12	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

Table 1e: Encounters in the Southwest

Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas (west of Dallas).

d12	You see a(n)…
1 – 3	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
4	Skinwalker. A man who can shape-change, possess the body of any animal desired, and teleport.
5	Pterodactyl. A flying reptile with a 9-foot wingspan.
6	Wampus Cat. A six legged mountain lion with glowing yellow eyes, that can rear up on just four or two of its legs.
7	Giant Eagle.
8	Bigfoot. A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
9	Giant Mountain Lion.
10	Giant Poisonous Snake with glowing eyes. 30’ in length.
11	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
12	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

Table 1f: Encounters in Southern and Central California

California south of Redding.

d12	You see a(n)…
1 – 3	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
4	Bigfoot. A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
5	Werewolf.
6	Vampire.
7	Giant Black Cat.
8	Giant Mountain Lion.
9	Giant Bear.
10	Giant Poisonous Snake with glowing eyes. 30’ in length.
11	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
12	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

Table 1g: Encounters in the Pacific Northwest / Northern California

California north of Redding, Oregon (in the Cascades and west of the Cascades), and Washington (in the Cascades and west of the Cascades).

d12	You see a(n)…
1 – 3	Sasquatch (Bigfoot). A hairy humanoid with simian features, about 8 feet tall. Its eyes shine if hit by a light.
4	Extraterrestrial. Determine the being’s appearance with Table 2a, and the appearance of its craft with Table 2b.
5	Werewolf.
6	Vampire.
7	Splintercat. A bobcat-like creature with a bulbous, armored forehead capable of splitting wood.
8	White Deer. 75% likely to be immaterial, and immune to physical attacks. Not actually a ghost, and is immune to magic or technology that affects ghosts.
9	Giant Mountain Lion.
10	Giant Bear.
11	Unique Chimeric Humanoid. Determine appearance with Table 3.
12	Unique Chimeric Animal. Determine appearance with Table 4.

Table 2a: Appearance of an Extraterrestrial

d8	In overall size and shape the being is…
1	about half the size of an average person,…
2	about half the size of an average person and extremely thin,…
3	about half the size of an average person and portly,…
4	about the size and shape of an average person,…
5	about the size of an average person and extremely thin,…
6	about the size of an average person and portly,…
7	taller than an average person,…
8	taller than an average person and extremely thin,…

d8	…with a body that is apparently…
1	hairless and naked,… 75% likely to have no visible sexual characteristics.
2	covered in shaggy hair,…
3	clothed and human-like,… d6: Clothing is… 1 = a silver jumpsuit, 2 = similar to an astronaut’s suit, 3 = a one-piece outfit that looks like oilcloth or vinyl, 4 = a skin-tight jumpsuit that looks like rubber, 5 = a loose and flowing gown, 6 = a short leather tunic and pants.
4	insect-like,…
5	robot-like and metallic,…
6	reptilian,…
7	hairless and covered with drooping folds of skin,… 75% likely to have no visible sexual characteristics.
8	hairless and fleshy, but segmented like an earthworm,… 75% likely to have no visible sexual characteristics.

d10	…and generally colored…
1	like light-complexioned human skin.
2	like dark-complexioned human skin.
3	gray.
4	hot pink. 25% chance the being is actually glowing.
5	green. 25% chance the being is actually glowing.
6	red. 25% chance the being is actually glowing.
7	yellow. 25% chance the being is actually glowing.
8	blue. 25% chance the being is actually glowing.
9	inky black.
10	an almost translucent white. 50% chance the being is actually glowing.

d6	The being’s face is..
1	generally human-shaped,…
2	triangular,…
3	roundish,…
4	squarish,…
5	almost cylindrical,…
6	like a squashed ball,…

d6	…with…
1	no hair at all on its head,…
2	no hair, but a pair of antennae projecting from its forehead,…
3	a dorsal fin or ridge atop its head,…
4	long human-like hair on its head,…
5	short, human like hair on its head,…
6	a helmet of some kind covering the top of its head,…

d10	…eyes that are…
1	extremely large, black, and almond-shaped,…
2	extremely large, black, and almost circular,…
3	like those of an ordinary human,…
4	actually just one big eye in its forehead,…
5	obscured by some kind of goggles,…
6	on stalks,…
7	not apparent at all,…
8	glowing red,…
9	glowing yellow,…
10	glowing green,…

d10	…a nose that is…
1	completely absent,…
2	human-like,…
3	human-like and bulbous,…
4	just two small slits,…
5	two large slits,…
6	just a single hole,…
7	like that of a bare skull,…
8	trunk-like,…
9	trumpet-like,…
10	obscured by something that looks like a breathing apparatus,…

d10	… a mouth that is…
1	human-like,…
2	human-like but glowing from the inside,…
3	extremely small,…
4	disturbingly wide,…
5	just a narrow slit,…
6	just a wide slit,…
7	obscured by some kind of plate or wrap,…
8	like a lamprey’s,…
9	filled with needle-like teeth,…
10	completely absent,…

d8	…and ears that are…
1	completely absent.
2	human-like.
3	floppy like those of a hound.
4	small and pointed.
5	large and pointed.
6	bat-like.
7	trumpet-like.
8	obscured by some kind of headphones or earmuffs.

d8	The being’s hands are..
1	human like,…
2	human-like with 3 fingers and a thumb,…
3	long and delicate,…
4	clawed,…
5	clawed with 3 fingers and a thumb,…
6	like crab claws,…
7	pads with suction cups at the end of tentacle-like arms,…
8	masses of small tentacles,…

d12	and it is holding
1	apparently nothing.
2	a small metal cylinder.
3	a metal box.
4	some kind of meshwork box.
5	some kind of gun.
6	a crystalline orb.
7	a glowing hoop.
8	a ball of plasma emitting a crackling and popping sound.
9	a box with what looks like soil samples.
10	a dead animal, that it appears to be studying.
11	an ordinary item of some kind.
12	what looks like a plate of food!

Table 2b: Appearance of an Extraterrestrial Vehicle

d20	The alien craft is…
1 – 2	apparently nowhere to be seen.
3	a classic flying saucer of shiny metal with portholes and lights around its perimeter, standing nearby on legs.
4	a classic flying saucer of shiny metal with portholes and lights around its perimeter, hovering above.
5	a featureless disc of glowing metal, standing nearby on legs.
6	a featureless disc of glowing metal, hovering above.
7	a crescent glowing metal, standing nearby on legs.
8	a crescent glowing metal, hovering above.
9	a cigar-like shape of shining metal, standing nearby on legs.
10	a cigar-like shape of shining metal, hovering above.
11	a shining metallic ovoid, standing nearby on legs.
12	a shining metallic ovoid, hovering above.
14	a shining metallic cylinder, standing nearby on legs.
15	a shining metallic cylinder, hovering above.
16	a shining metallic sphere, standing nearby on legs
17	a shining metallic sphere, hovering above.
18	black and triangular in shape, standing nearby on legs.
19	black and triangular in shape, hovering above.
20	apparently a blob of pure energy, hovering above and constantly changing shape.

Close Encounters with Extraterrestrials and/or their craft occupy 10 times the amount of perceived time (unless the Extraterrestrial is currently disguised as a person). An encounter that seems to take 10 minutes actually takes places over the course of 100 minutes.

Table 3: Unique Chimeric Humanoids

d8	In overall size and shape the being is…
1	about half the size of an average person,…
2	about half the size of an average person and extremely thin,…
3	about half the size of an average person and portly,…
4	about the size and shape of an average person,…
5	about the size of an average person and extremely thin,…
6	about the size of an average person and portly,…
7	taller than an average person,…
8	taller than an average person and extremely thin,…

d8	…with a body that seems to be…
1 – 3	human-like and clothed,… d6: Clothing is…1 = a black overcoat, 2 = a black overcoat and floppy black hat, 3 = workman’s coveralls, 4 = a tuxedo, 5 = army fatigues, 6 = rags.
4	hairless and naked,…
5	naked but covered in shaggy hair,…
6	scaly,…
7	feathered,…
8	hairless, naked and slimy,…

d8	…and skin that is generally…
1	white.
2	black.
3	brown.
4	orange.
5	green.
6	red.
7	yellow.
8	purple.

d20	The being’s head is…
1	a man’s,…
2	a horned man’s,…
3	that of a man, but with one eye…
4	like a man’s, but with enormous eyes,…
5	a woman’s,…
6	a woman’s, but with one eye,…
7	like a baby’s,…
8	like a baby’s, but with one eye,…
9	like a skull,…
10	bulbous like a melon,…
11	like a mass of twisted flesh,…
12	like a monkey’s,…
13	like a goat’s,…
14	like a lizard’s,…
15	like a dog’s,…
16	like a bat’s,…
17	like a bird’s,…
18	like a horse’s,…
19	like a frog’s,…
20	completely missing,…

d8	…its arms and hands are…
1 – 2	human,…
3	human like, but has a hook in place of one hand,…
5	robot-like,…
6	tentacles,…
7	actually wings,… Do not roll to determine what the being is carrying.
8	completely missing,… Do not roll to determine what the being is carrying.

d8	…and its legs…
1 – 3	are human.
4	are dog-like.
5	look like two snakes.
6	are goat-like.
7	are lizard-like.
8	are bird-like.

d20	The being carries…
1 – 6	nothing apparently.
7	a lantern.
8	a child’s doll.
9	a sickle.
10	a chainsaw.
11	an axe.
12	a machete.
13	a pickaxe.
14	a cavalry sword.
15	a whip.
16	a captive bolt pistol, of the type used to slaughter cattle.
17	a pitchfork.
18	a baseball bat.
19	a large rock.
20	a bloody severed head.

Table 4: Unique Chimeric Animals

d20	This beast has a body like a…
1	alligator,…
2	bear,…
3	bird,…
4	bull,…
5	dog,…
6	fox,…
7	giant centipede,…
8	giant spider,…
9	goat,…
10	horse,…
11	kangaroo,…
12	monkey,…
13	mountain lion,…
14	lizard,…
15	rat,…
16	salamander,…
17	skunk,…
18	snake,…
19	stag,…
20	wolf,…

d20	…a head like a(n)…
1	alligator,…
2	bear,…
3	bird,…
4	bull,…
5	dog,…
6	fox,…
7	giant centipede,…
8	giant spider,…
9	goat,…
10	horse,…
11	kangaroo,…
12	monkey,…
13	mountain lion,…
14	boar,…
15	rabbit,…
16	salamander,…
17	lizard,…
18	snake,…
19	stag,…
20	wolf,…

d20	…limbs like a(n)…
1	alligator,…
2	bear,…
3	bird,…
4	bull,…
5	dog,…
6	fox,…
7	giant centipede,…
8	giant spider,…
9	goat,…
10	horse,…
11	kangaroo,…
12	monkey,…
13	mountain lion,…
14	raccoon,…
15	rabbit,…
16	salamander,…
17	lizard,…
18	snake,…
19	stag,…
20	wolf,…

d10	…a tail…
1 – 3	not apparent,…
3	like an alligator,…
4	like a dog,…
5	like a fox,…
6	like a goat,…
7	like a horse,…
8	like a kangaroo,…
9	like a lizard,…
10	like a monkey,…
11	like a raccoon,…
12	like a rat,…

d20	…and it…
1	seems to be basically harmless.
2	has an exceptionally long tongue.
3	sneezes frequently.
4	is hairless.
5	chatters like a monkey.
6	breathes fire.
7	screeches horribly.
8	can breath water.
9	burrows in the ground.
10	is afraid of the sunlight.
11	is completely silent.
12	drools constantly.
13	spits venom.
14	has glowing eyes.
15	glows in the dark.
16	smells incredibly bad.
17	jumps about excitedly.
18	has bat-like wings.
19	has feathered wings.
20	emits a buzzing noise.

Abandoned Vehicles on the Uncanny Highway

20 Wednesday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

All along the shoulder of the Uncanny Highway you will see abandoned vehicles. Some are total wrecks. Others seem almost new. Each is a story whose plot may be forever uncertain. And each is a potential hazard or opportunity.

Table 1: Abandoned Vehicle

d20	On the side of the road you see an abandoned…
1	pickup truck…
2	delivery truck…
3	station wagon…
4	coupé utility vehicle…
5	two-door coupe…
6	convertible coupe…
7	four-door sedan…
8	sports car…
9	muscle car…
10	hot rod…
11	semi truck…
12	compact car…
13	motorcycle…
14	customized “chopper” motorcycle…
15	yellow school bus… Proceed to Table 2.
16	van…
17	luxury car…
18	off-road vehicle…
19	hearse…
20	cop car. Proceed to Table 2.

d20	…that once had been painted…
1 – 2	black.
3 – 4	white.
5 – 6	dark blue.
7 – 8	metallic gray.
9	cherry red.
10	burgundy.
11	brown.
12	sky blue.
13	blue-green.
14	bright yellow.
15	mustard yellow.
16	orange.
17	forest green.
18	lime green.
19	pink.
20	purple.

Table 2: Condition of an Abandoned Vehicle

d20, twice.	The vehicle has…
1 – 2	broken windows.
3	bloodstains on the upholstery.
4	bullet holes.
5	a coating of bird droppings.
6	a crushed front end.
7	a crushed back end.
8	a crushed driver’s side.
9	a puddle of oil underneath.
10 – 11	extensive rust.
12	fire damage.
13	a strange circular burn pattern on the roof (or the driver’s seat if a convertible or motorcycle, or).
14	deep claw marks all over the body.
15 – 16	1d4 flat tires.
17 – 20	no additional obvious damage. Do not roll again on this table. Vehicle is 50% likely to still be operational.

Table 3: Inhabitants of an Abandoned Car

d20	The wreck is now inhabited or used by…
1 – 9	only memories.
10	a drifter.
11	a runaway teenage boy.
12	a runaway teenage girl.
13	d6 non-poisonous snake(s).
14	a poisonous snake
15	a feral cat
16 – 17	a wasp nest.
18	a swarm of rats.
19	a zombie.
20	the ghost of someone who died in or on it.

Table 4: Items Left in an Abandoned Vehicle

d100, 1d4 times.	If you search the interior, trunk, or side bags, you will find…
1 – 3	a tire iron.
4 – 6	a crow bar.
7 – 9	a roll of duck tape.
10 – 12	a car radio.
13 – 15	a blanket.
16 – 18	a portable radio.
19 – 21	a knife.
22 – 24	a shotgun.
25 – 27	1d4 shotgun shells.
28 – 30	d20 dollars cash.
31 – 33	d100 dollars worth of foreign currency.
34 – 36	1d12 empty shell casings.
37 – 39	a child’s toy.
40 – 42	a wedding ring.
43 – 45	a dog collar and leash.
46 – 48	a suitcase filled with woman’s clothes.
49 – 51	a suitcase filled with men’s clothing.
52 – 54	a pair of woman’s shoes.
55 – 57	a pair of men’s shoes.
58 – 60	an instant camera.
61 – 63	a half-drunk bottle of whiskey.
64 – 66	binoculars.
67 – 69	a gas can.
70 – 72	a hatchet.
73 – 75	an empty notebook.
76 – 78	a portable 8-track player with 1d4 8-track tapes.
79 – 81	a pair of roller-skates.
82 – 84	a tent.
85 – 87	a sleeping bag.
88 – 90	a pack of playing cards.
91 – 92	a pack of tarot cards.
93	a strange journal that contains a Magical Ritual.
94 – 96	a Bible, with various apocalyptic passages underlined.
97 – 100	a book about U.F.O.s.

- Re-roll repeated results.
- Item(s) are in addition to the personal possessions of the current inhabitant / user.

Gas Stations of the Uncanny Highway

18 Monday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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The ordinary Gas Stations of the Uncanny Highway are distinct from the Truck Stops (which cater to truckers, and have amenities such as showers, laundry rooms, and sleeping accommodations). On many stretches of the road, the Gas Station might be as close as a traveler gets to a grocery store. And as the legendary CB Guru Sri Jimmy Bob teaches in “White Line Enlightenment”, when the road is your Ashram, the Gas Station is your Temple!

Table 1: Gas Station Architecture

d20	The architecture of the station is…
1 – 3	plain brick
4 – 6	plain clapboard
7 – 9	stucco-faced brick
10 – 11	Old West “Boomtown” style.
12	Art Deco chrome.
13	Space-Age “Googie”
14	faux-Polynesian Tiki.
18	faux adobe.
19	a faux castle.
20	faux Chinese.

Table 2: Number of Pumps at a Gas Station

d6	This station has…
1	just 1 Gasoline Pump.
2	just 1 Diesel Pump.
3	1 Gasoline Pump & 1 Diesel Pump.
4 – 6	1d4 Gasoline Pumps & 1d4 Diesel Pumps.

Table 3: Quality of Gasoline and Diesel at a Gas Station

d12	The fuel is…
1	cheap, but high quality.
2	cheap, and average quality.
3	cheap, but low quality.
4 – 7	average price and quality.
8	average price, but high quality.
9	average price, but low quality.
10	expensive, but high quality.
11	expensive, but only average quality.
12	both expensive and low quality – a real rip-off!

Table 4: Gas Station Vending Machines

d8, 1d4 times.	Out front there is/are…
1	1d4 kiddie rides, which cost a dime to use.
2	1d4 gumball machines.
3	a soda machine.
4	an ice machine.
5	a machine that dispenses small toys in plastic capsules.
6	a potato chip and pretzel machine.
7	a candy bar machine.
8	no vending machines.

Repeated results indicate multiple examples of the vending machine type, or an especially large one of that variety.

Table 5a: The Gas Station Garage

d6	The Gas Station’s garage is…
1 – 3	nonexistent – this establishment just sells gas.
4	small, and can only handle one car at a time.
5	moderate, and can handle 1+1d4 cars at a time.
6	large, and obviously a major part of the business. Can handle 4+d8 cars at a time.

Table 5b: Services Offered by a Gas Station Garage

d10, 1d10 times.	Besides general tune-ups and oil changes, the garage also offers…
1	towing service.
2	tires for sale.
3	hubcaps for sale.
4	automotive parts for sale.
5	automotive body repair.
6	repainting.
7	glass repair.
8	engine repair.
9	brake repair.
10	muffler service.

Re-roll repeated results. An initial roll of 10 therefore indicates a Full-Service garage.

Table 5c: Gas Station Garage Mechanic

d6	The on-site mechanic is…
1	barely competent.
2	a mechanical genius who can fix anything cheap.
3	an arrogant a**hole who thinks he’s better than everyone else.
4	an ex-con out on parole.
5	rude and crude, but knows his stuff.
6	a shady character who will look the other way at anything illegal – for a price.

Table 6: Gas Station Bathroom

d20	This bathroom is…
1 – 3	clean and bright,…
4 – 5	clean, but drab,…
6 – 7	dreary,…
8 – 10	disgustingly foul, and looks like it is seldom cleaned,…
11– 12	very dimly-lit,…
13	covered in graffiti,…
14	covered in newspapers,…
15	in the middle of a renovation,…
16	oddly modern and fashionable,…
17 – 19	a mess, from what looks like a recent fight or struggle,…
20	spattered with fresh blood,…

d20	…and somebody has apparently left behind…
1	their wallet.
2	their pocketbook.
3	men’s underwear.
4	women’s underwear.
5	a sock.
6	their eyeglasses.
7	a wig or toupee.
8	a Christian religious tract.
9	a book about U.F.O.s.
10	a book about the coming Rapture, with many passages underlined.
11	a copy of “White Line Enlightenment” by Guru Sri Jimmy Bob of the Asphalt Ashram.
12	a bloody knife.
13	a recently fired handgun.
14	a wrench.
15	a wedding ring.
16	a briefcase containing bricks of drugs. d4: In the briefcase is 1d4 kilos of…1 = cocaine, 2 = heroin, 3–4 = marijuana.
17	a brown paper bag with 1d10 x 1000 dollars.
18	a brown paper bag with 1d20 uncut diamonds.
19	a message pleading for help, because the writer is being abducted (but was allowed to use the bathroom). d6: The message says her abductor is… 1 = a pimp, 2 = her ex-husband, 3 = her ex-boyfriend, 4 = a cop, 5 = her abusive parents, 6 = a complete stranger.
20	a suitcase containing a complete dismembered body.

Table 7: Also For Sale at a Gas Station

d100, 1d6 times.	Besides gas, this station also sells…
1 – 2	8-track cassettes.
3 – 4	barbecue. 10% chance it is not actually the meat advertised.
5 – 6	air fresheners.
7 – 8	bibles.
9 – 10	blankets & pillows.
11 – 13	packaged bread.
14 – 17	canned goods.
17 – 18	chili
19 – 21	chewing gum.
22 – 24	hot dogs.
26 – 27	keys
28 – 30	chocolates & candy (other than gum).
31 – 33	wrapped sandwiches.
34 – 36	comic books.
37 – 39	condoms.
40 – 42	dashboard ornaments.
43 – 48	cigarettes and tobacco products.
49 – 51	incense.
52 – 54	jerky and dried sausages.
55 – 57	knives.
58 – 60	magazines.
61 – 63	tire irons.
64 – 66	hubcaps.
67 – 69	newspapers.
70 – 72	tires.
73 – 75	tire repair kits.
76 – 78	painkillers, allergy medicine, & adhesive bandages.
79 – 81	paperback books.
82 – 84	wrenches.
85 – 87	potato chips, pork rinds and pretzels.
88 – 90	rope & duck tape.
91 – 93	seat covers.
94 – 96	flowers.
97 – 100	soda / pop.

Repeated results indicate an especially large selection of the item indicated.

Table 8: Gas Station Cashier

d6	The cashier is…
1	a flirty young woman in minimal clothing.
2	a thin and twitchy young man who never takes off his baseball cap.
3	a chain-smoking mature woman with badly-applied makeup.
4	a mature man who won’t stop talking about how much better things used to be.
5	an elderly man who tells bad jokes.
6	an elderly woman who is suspicions of everyone, and keeps her hand under the counter at all times.

75% likely there is a loaded pistol or shotgun under the counter.

Table 9: Gas Station Attendant

d6	The person will pump your gas and check your oil is…
1	just the cashier (or mechanic, if there is one).
2	an aggressive young man who takes offense at everything.
3	a shady young man who seems to be estimating the value of everything the PCs own.
4	a young man who is always listing to his loud portable 8-track player, and refuses to turn it off.
5	a mature man with a limp, who chews tobacco and spits it everywhere.
6	a mature man covered in faded blue tattoos, who asks if there’s any “other jobs” you need done.

Table 10: Secret of the Gas Station

d20	The secret truth about this gas station is…
1 – 10	it’s really just an ordinary establishment.
11 – 13	it’s actually a money-laundering operation.
14	it’s owned by an Extraterrestrial
15	the cashier is part of a serial killer team, on the lookout for victims.
16	it’s a front for a child abduction ring.
17	its the secret meeting place for Demon Hunters patrolling this section of the Uncanny Highway.
18	everyone who works here is actually a C.I.A. agent.
19	everyone who works here is actually a K.G.B. agent.
20	the cashier is actually an Angel in disguise, trying to help the lost and lonely.

Table 11: Gas Station Events

d20	While the PCs are at the gas station…
1	an Outlaw Biker gang pulls in – but just wants gas and snacks!
2	an Outlaw Biker gang pulls in – and wants trouble!
3	a tractor trailer pulls in – and out of it runs a woman screaming for help!
4	a Hitchhiker is left off at the Station. Determine their characteristics with the tables in HITCHHIKERS.
5	a PC is approached by a Hitchhiker looking for a ride. Determine their characteristics with the tables in HITCHHIKERS.
6	a bus full of nuns pulls in, singing songs.
7	a decorated bus full of Jesus Freaks pulls in, and they start playing guitar, singing, and preaching. 25% Chance one of them is an actual Miracle Worker.
8	a band’s tour bus pulls in, and the musicians stumble out (with their groupies). d4: The band plays…1 = Rock n’ Roll, 2 = Country & Western, 3 = R&B, 4 = Funk.
9	a cross-country coach bus pulls in, and d12 of the patrons exit to stretch their legs.
10	a man pulls in, and runs out of his car screaming that “They’re coming for me, and you can’t stop them!” d8: “They” are…1 = the Commies, 2 = the Aliens, 3 = the Werewolves, 4 = the Outlaw Bikers, 5 = the C.I.A., 6 = the Drug-Crazed Hippies, 7 = the Hell Hounds, 8 = everyone he killed in ‘Nam.
11	a cop pulls in, looking for a suspect. The description either matches someone the PCs have met on the road, or will meet.
12	a desperate Demon Hunter pulls in, and starts aggressively asking if anyone has seen his (or her) quarry. d6: They are hunting.. 1 = a Vampire, 2 = a Werewolf, 3 = a person possessed by a Demon, 4 = a rogue Fay, 5 = a Psycho Killer, 6 = a Driverless Car that’s been running other vehicles off the road.
13	d4+2 college kids in a decorated “Boogie Van” pull in, looking for clues to some mystery.
14	a smoking and sputtering station wagon pulls in, and a married couple with 1d4 kids exits just their car stops working altogether.
15	a pair of teenage lovers pulls in. 25% chance they are running away to elope.
16	a pair of newlyweds pulls in, on their way to their honeymoon. Or so they think!
17	a U.F.O appears in the sky overhead.
18	d20 Zombies, escaped from a government research lab nearby, surround the station and shamble in to attack.
19	a tanker truck is making a delivery of gas or diesel. The driver knows how to actually get off the Uncanny Highway, if the PCs are willing to follow him to the next intersection with the regular highway. There will be a delay at the nearest Truck Stop along the way, however.
20	a delivery truck pulls in to unload items for the shop. The driver knows how to actually get off the Uncanny Highway, if the PCs are willing to follow him to the next intersection with the regular highway. There will always be a delay at the nearest Truck Stop along the way, however.

Small Towns of the Uncanny Highway Part VI: Encounters in the Street

14 Thursday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Take a break from the Uncanny Highway and stroll the charming streets of Small Town America. Don’t mind the High School Quarterback and his friends beating on that other boy with baseball bats. It’s all good wholesome fun. Builds character! Besides, isn’t that guitarist who died last week across the street, staring at us?

Use these table to generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering through town. Tables 1 to 9 (in Part I) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 10 to 13 (in part II) define the predominant People and Culture of the town. Tables 14 to 19 (in Part III) take you “around town” to define it’s businesses, establishments, and locations. Tables 20 to 22 (in part IV) define the town’s major organizations and social institutions. Tables 23 to 32 (in Part V) define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every small town, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”.

Table 33: True Danger of a Small Town

d6	Regardless of how it looks, the actual crime rate is…
1	negligible. If the PCs subsequently encounter any serious street crime, its the first that’s happened in a long time.
2	low.
3 – 4	average.
5	high.
6	out of control.

Table 34: Current Events and First Encounters in a Small Town

d20	Not long after the PCs enter town, they see…
1	evidence of some kind of fair, festival, or carnival happening in the town square. On Main Street if there is no town square. In the park if there is no Main Street, or Main Street is the Highway itslef.
2	Rival biker gangs fighting each other in the street.
3	Cops engaging in a high-speed pursuit of a criminal couple through the streets of town.
4	a U.F.O appearing overhead for several minutes.
5	an important building catching on fire.
6	a swarm of aggressive rats coming out of the sewer (or a storm drain) to attack. Only if town is over 10,000 people.
7	1d6 teenagers being harassed by the cops.
8	a sinkhole opening up in the street. If there are any secret tunnels or caves underneath town, they are exposed.
9	a hungry bear wandering into town.
10	someone who looks exactly like a supposedly dead or missing celebrity.
11	a family fleeing their house due to a poltergeist haunting.
12	a person running out of a house screaming. Person has a 50% chance each of being: a) nude, b) blood-spattered, c) incoherent, d) fleeing a serial-killer; e) a kidnapping victim fleeing their captor.
13	a housewife quickly ushering the Town Lothario into her home.
14	the Town Conscience doing a good and/or heroic deed.
15	the Town Bully and his friends harassing the Town Scapegoat.
16	the Town Weirdo, and are told to “Take my advice, and leave now, if you can!”
17	the Town Jezebel being harassed by a frumpishly-dressed woman, who accuses the Town Jezebel of being a “home-wrecker”.
18	the Wealthiest Person in Town driving by (or being driven) by in their expensive luxury car.
19	the Town Drunk. He is willing to “Tell a secret”, if they can “help him out”.
20	a bank robbery (or the robbery of the most prosperous business) in progress.

Table 35: Notices Posted Around a Small Town

d20	Posted to a tree (or telephone pole) is a notice about…
1	a missing dog.
2	a missing cat.
3	a missing child.
4	a missing teenage girl. If they PCs have met any female runaways on this Section of Highway, the person on the poster is one of them.
5	a missing teenage boy. If they PCs have met any male runaways on this Section of Highway, the person on the poster is one of them.
6	a missing man. 25% chance the PCs will see the man in question (or evidence of his former presence) at the next Roadside Attraction they visit.
7	a missing woman. 25% chance the PCs will see the woman in question (or evidence of her former presence) at the next Roadside Attraction they visit.
8	a garage sale to be held today. 25% chance a Singular Item from one of the Souvenir Shops of the Uncanny Highway is for sale. See SOUVENIR SHOPS Table 7: Singular Objects for Sale in a Souvenir Shop.
9	a fundraiser for a local church. 25% chance the pastor of the church is pocketing the money.
10	a church fleamarket, to be held this Saturday.
11	a kitchen Storageware Party, to be held in the home of a local housewife.
12	a Strange Animal or Creature, with a telephone number to report sightings. If any PCs report a sighting, they will be visited and threatened into silence by two Men in Black the next day, who will find them no matter where they are.
13	the next P.T.A. meeting, to discuss the out-of-control teens of this town.
14	a “Wanted” poster for a dangerous criminal. The PCs will recognize the person as someone they have already met on the road.
15	a “Battle of the Bands” to be held in the local school gymnasium (or rec center) tonight.
16	a Carnival or Seasonal Fair, which starts next Friday coming. Or today, if this a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
17	either a traveling Circus opening for business this Friday in an empty field on the outskirts of town, or “Community Appreciation Day” at the local Main Industry (which is the next Saturday coming, or today, if this a Saturday).
18	a fundraiser for the Mayor’s reelection campaign, to be held by the Dominant Organization.
19	“aimless strangers”, who should be reported to the authorities.
20	a town meeting, to discuss the Recent News.

These notices might also be found in the windows of local businesses.

Table 36 Encounters on the Streets of a Small Town

Roll once on the appropriate Sub-table once per every 300 feet (100 yards, 1 football field) traveled.

Encounters Sub-table 1: Daytime, Warm Weather.

d8+d12	You encounter…
2	an emergency. d4: 1=Car crash, 2=House on fire, 3=Downed power line, 4=Person collapsed on street. Police or Volunteer Fire Department will arrive in d12 minutes.
3	an ambulance passing by in the street.
4	a stray or feral cat.
5	1d4 working women (not directly involved with Main Industry).
6	a man, woman, and 1d6 children out walking. Roll again during school hours.
7	1d6 children riding bikes. Roll again during school hours.
8	1d6 teens. 25% chance they are students heading to (or coming from) the Library.
9	a woman with a stroller. 10% likely to also be pregnant.
10	1d4 passenger vehicle(s) in the street.
11	1d8 people involved with the Main Industry. College students in a college town, Factory workers in a factory town, etc.
12	2d4 children playing games. Hopscotch, wiffle ball, double dutch, etc. Roll again during school hours.
13	1d4 housewives.
14	1d4 working men (not directly involved with Main Industry).
15	a delivery truck or utility van, passing in the street.
16	an ice cream truck. Roll again during school hours.
17	a police car.
18	1d12 bikers passing by in the street.
19	a stray dog.
20	an Archetypal NPC. d10: 1=the Wealthiest Person in Town, 2=the Most Beloved Person in Town, 3=the Town Conscience, 4=the Town Bully, 5=the Town Scapegoat, 6=the Town Jezebel, 7=the Town Lothario, 8=the Town Drunk, 9=the Town Weirdo, 10=the Town Mastermind.

On a Sunday mornings, however, 50% of all encounters will be with people going to or from church.

Encounters Sub-table 2: Nighttime, Warm Weather

d8+d12	You encounter…
2	an emergency. d4: 1=Car crash, 2=House on fire, 3=Downed power line, 4=Person collapsed on street. Police or Volunteer Fire Department will arrive in d12 minutes
3	a fox, or a raccoon.
4	The Town Scapegoat or the Town Bully. 25% chance of the Town Bully harassing the Town Scapegoat.
5	a skunk.
6	a police car.
7	1d4 women going to or from a bar.
8	a teenage babysitter going to (or from) a house.
9	a passenger vehicle in the street.
10	1d4 men going to or from a bar.
11	1d6 teens. 50% likely to be heading for the Unsafe Teenage Hangout.
12	a teenage couple in a car. 75% likely to be heading for Lover’s Lane.
13	an adult couple.
14	a stray or feral cat.
15	1d12 bikers passing by in the street.
16	a bat.
17	2 muscle cars or hot rods racing down the street.
18	The Town Jezebel or the Town Lothario. 25% chance of the two together on a date.
19	The Town Weirdo or the Town Drunk. 25% chance of the Town Weirdo interrogating the Town Drunk for secrets.
20	a Strange Animal or Creature.

Encounters Sub-table 3: Daytime, Cold Weather

d8+d12	You encounter…
2	an emergency. d4: 1=Car crash, 2=House on fire, 3=Downed power line, 4=Person collapsed on street. Police or Volunteer Fire Department will arrive in d12 minutes.
3	an ambulance passing by in the street.
4	a stray or feral cat.
5	1d4 working women (not directly involved with Main Industry).
6	a man, woman, and 1d6 children out walking. Roll again during school hours.
7	1d4 men dressed in hunting gear, with rifles. 50% likely to be returning from a hunt with a deer.
8	1d6 teens. 25% chance they are students heading to (or coming from) the Library.
9	a woman with a stroller. 10% likely to also be pregnant.
10	1d4 passenger vehicle(s) in the street.
11	1d8 people involved with the Main Industry. College students in a college town, Factory workers in a factory town, Soldiers near a military base, etc.
12	2d4 children. If there is snow on the ground, they are 25% likely to be hauling sleds, and 50% likely to be snowball fighting. If snow has just fallen they will have shovels, and will be going door to door.
13	1d4 housewives.
14	1d4 working men (not directly involved with Main Industry).
15	a delivery truck or utility van, passing in the street.
16	a snow plow passing in the street. Roll again if there is no snow on the ground.
17	a police car.
18	1d12 bikers passing by in the street.
19	a stray dog.
20	an Archetypal NPC. d10: 1=the Wealthiest Person in Town, 2=the Most Beloved Person in Town, 3=the Town Conscience, 4=the Town Bully, 5=the Town Scapegoat, 6=the Town Jezebel, 7=the Town Lothario, 8=the Town Drunk, 9=the Town Weirdo, 10=the Town Mastermind.

On a Sunday mornings, however, 50% of all encounters will be with people going to or from church.

Encounters Sub-table 4: Nighttime, Cold Weather

d8+d12	You encounter…
2	an emergency. d4: 1=Car crash, 2=House on fire, 3=Downed power line, 4=Person collapsed on street. Police or Volunteer Fire Department will arrive in d12 minutes
3	a fox.
4	The Town Scapegoat or the Town Bully. 25% chance of the Town Bully harassing the Town Scapegoat.
5	1d4 men with rifles and flashlights, going out to illegally “jack” game animals.
6	a police car.
7	1d4 women going to or from a bar.
8	a teenage babysitter going to (or from) a house.
9	a passenger vehicle in the street.
10	1d4 men going to or from a bar.
11	1d6 teens. 25% likely to be heading for the Unsafe Teenage Hangout.
12	a teenage couple in a car. 50% likely to be heading for Lover’s Lane.
13	an adult couple.
14	a stray or feral cat.
15	1d12 bikers passing by in the street.
16	a snow plow passing in the street. Roll again if there is no snow on the ground.
17	an ambulance passing by in the street.
18	The Town Jezebel or the Town Lothario. 25% chance of the two together on a date.
19	The Town Weirdo or the Town Drunk. 25% chance of the Town Weirdo interrogating the Town Drunk for secrets.
20	a Strange Animal or Creature.

Table 37: Up in the Sky Above a Small Town

d20	Looking up, you can see…
1	a U.F.O.
2	a cloud shaped like a face.
3	a cloud shaped like a ship.
4	a cloud shaped like the outline of a state.
5	a cloud shaped like a bird.
6	a cloud shaped like a fish.
7	a cloud shaped like a dog.
8	a cloud shaped like a person.
9	a cloud shaped like a lion.
10	a cloud shaped like a cat.
11 – 12	1d12 crow(s).
13	1d100 pigeon(s) / dove(s).
14	a hawk.
15	an eagle.
16	1d12 swallows.
17	1d20 sparrow(s).
18	a helicopter. 50% chance to be unmarked and black.
19	a passenger plane.
20	a hot air balloon.

- Note that any mundane aircraft seen above U.S. Route 28 (except for Unmarked Black Helicopters) will usually be exiting a cloud, or on its way to entering another cloud – after which it will disappear. There are no airports along the length of U.S. Route 28.
- If a future encounter is already planned out, than the PCs might see a cloud with a prophetic shape. For instance, a cloud in the shape of a fist if the characters are about to encounter the Town Bully.

Table 38: Recent News

d20	The news article everyone seems to be talking about concerns…
1	a rash of recent break-ins.
2	a rash of recent disappearances.
3	a recent murder.
4	a recent fatal auto accident.
5	a poltergeist haunting that’s begun in one of the houses.
6	someone’s plan to open up an undesirable business or establishment. d6: 1=a headshop, 2=a psychic reader, 3=a liquor store, 4=an arena, 5=an amusement park, 6=a biker’s clubhouse.
7	someone’s plan to open up a needed and desired business.
8	a miraculous healing in a local church.
9	the appearance of the Virgin Mary or Jesus to a local child.
10	the sighting of a U.F.O. over town.
11	a recent fire that destroyed a home.
12	an alligator living in the sewers or storm drains. Only if town is over 10,000 people.
13	a Strange Animal or Creature recently seen by some teenagers.
14	the shocking increase in drug addiction among teenagers.
15	a death that occurred at the Unsafe Teenage Hangout.
16	a creepy man that been seen lurking and peering into car window at Lover’s Lane.
17	the possibility of the town’s Main Industry closing.
18	trying to get a rail link or bus stop in town.
19	sightings of a dead celebrity around town, and on the nearby Highway.
20	a particularly brave and heroic deed done by the Town Conscience.

Small Towns Along the Uncanny Highway Part V: Archetypal NPCs

13 Wednesday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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The Uncanny Highway can be a lonely place – so make some friends. Sure, they might be secretly plotting to bring about the end of the world, but at least its something you can do together!

These tables define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every fictional American town of the Seventies, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”. Tables 1 to 9 (presented in Part I) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 10 to 13 (in part II) define the predominant people and culture of the town. Tables 14 to 19 (in Part III) take you “around town” to define it’s businesses, establishments, and locations. Tables 20 to 22 (in part IV) define the town’s major organizations and social institutions. Finally, Tables 33 to 38 (in the final Part VI) generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering the streets.

Table 23: The Wealthiest Person in Town

d6	The person who can buy their way out of anything is…
1	the owner / president / commander of the Main Industry.
2	the patriarch of a family with roots back to the American Revolution.
3	an expatriate European with no visible means of support, but seemingly endless supplies of cash.
4	an old widow who seems to own half the town.
5	a gangster who lives in a fortified compound.
6	a wily, self-made millionaire whose plain-speaking ways mask deep dishonesty and ruthlessness.

The Wealthiest Person in Town has always committed at least one Secret Crime which has been covered up by the authorities.

Table 24: The Most Beloved Person in Town

d6	The person who seems to embody all the town’s hopes and dreams is…
1	the Homecoming Queen.
2	the Quarterback of the High School Football team (or the Captain of the Dominant Varsity Team).
3	the Coach of the High School Football Team (or the Dominant Varsity Team).
4	a former Olympic athlete.
5	a war hero who saved all the men of his platoon.
6	a former Beauty Queen.

25% chance the Most Beloved Person in Town will be murdered while the PCs are in town, by either the Wealthiest Person in Town, or the Town Bully.

Table 25: The Town Conscience

d6	The person who will always try to stand up for what right is…
1	a local teacher.
2	a local Union leader (or organizer).
3	a fearless reporter or journalist.
4	a local mother, active in the P.T.A.
5	the daughter of the Police Chief or Sheriff.
6	a Vietnam vet who is also a martial arts master.

50% Chance the Town Conscience knows the Secret Crime of the Wealthiest Person in Town.
75% chance the Town Conscience has already had a dangerous and/or violent encounter with the Town Bully.

Table 26: The Town Bully

d6	If there’s trouble, it’s probably being caused by…
1	the son of the Wealthiest Person in Town.
2	the son of the Police Chief or Sheriff.
3	the High School Quarterback (or the Captain of the Dominant Varsity Team).
4	a Police Sergeant who leads a gang of dirty cops.
5	the son of the most prominent preacher.
6	the leader of an Outlaw Biker gang. 25% chance the gang is actually made up of women.

The Town Bully can simultaneously be the Most Beloved Person in Town, in which case most people simply look the other way at their horrible acts.
50% chance the Town Bully is working directly for the Town Mastermind.
10% chance the Town Bully is also a Werewolf.

Table 27: The Town Scapegoat

d6	When troubles occurs, the person who will get blamed first is…
1	a High School student who listens to Hard Rock and Heavy Metal music.
2	a follower of a disliked Guru.
3	the oldest son from the poorest family in town.
4	a recently paroled man, who had been imprisoned on false charges.
5	a local Psychic.
6	a free-thinking Hippie Chick that everyone thinks is a witch. 25% chance she actually is a White Witch, who uses her powers only for good.

The Town Scapegoat is always innocent of whatever evil accusations are made against them.
50% chance the Town Scapegoat suspects the Dark Secret of the town.
50% chance the Town Scapegoat suspects the plans of the Town Mastermind.

Table 28: The Town Jezebel

d6	The women the other women hate, and the men desire, is…
1	a divorcee, and single mother, who just moved to town.
2	a stripper who works out on the Highway.
3	the new teacher or librarian from The Big City.
4	a bartender, who knows how to flirt and keep the tips coming.
5	a pretty, but clueless shopgirl who is constantly making unintended double entendres.
6	a wealthy widow, whose husband died mysteriously.

50% chance the Town Jezebel knows something scandalous about the leader of the Dominant Organization in town.
50% chance the Town Jezebel has the unwanted attention of the Town Bully.

Table 29: the Town Lothario

d6	All the husbands in town try to keep their wives away from…
1	The singer (or guitarist) for the best bar band around.
2	the son of the Wealthiest Person in Town.
3	the postman. He always has a “special delivery” for the ladies!
4	a smooth-talking real estate agent, who really knows how to work a leisure suit.
5	a former High School Quarterback – aging now, but still handsome.
6	the door-to-door salesman, who has got just the thing to make your day!

50% chance the Town Lothario is the Father, Uncle, or Brother of the Most Beloved person in Town.

Table 30: The Town Drunk

d6	The person who is always to be seen drinking on the street is…
1	a Vietnam Vet who saw too much in the war.
2	a once wealthy man who lost everything gambling.
3	a former cop who was run out of the police department for trying to expose corruption.
4	a man who claims his family was abducted by strange creatures.
5	a man who was horribly burned in the fire that killed his family.
6	a man injured while working at the town’s Main Industry.

75% Chance the Town Drunk knows the Secret Crime of the Wealthiest Person in Town.
75% chance the Town Drunk knows the plans of the Town Mastermind.

Table 31: The Town Weirdo

d6	The person who is dismissed as crazy, but knows what’s really going on is…
1	a U.F.O enthusiast, who knows the government is hiding something.
2	an obsessive occultist, looking for an infamous grimoire.
3	a Psychic tormented by dark visions of the future.
4	a paranormal researcher, piecing together the truth behind local legends.
5	a folk artist who makes sculptures out of trash.
6	the cat lady, who says that her pets tell her secrets.

The Town Weirdo always knows the Dark Secret of the town, but may be reluctant to tell the PCs at first.
50% Chance the Town Conscience knows the secret crime of the Wealthiest Person in Town.

Table 32: The Town Mastermind

d6	The person with large-scale, nefarious plans for the town is…
1	also the Wealthiest Person…
2	also the Town Bully…
3	also the leader of the Dominant Organization…
4	the Mayor…
5	the Mayor’s spouse…
6	a local religious leader…

d12	…who plots to…
1	destroy / shut down the Main Industry in town. Even – or especially if – they own it!
2	bury toxic waste in town.
3	close down the place where all the teens gather, so luxury housing can be put up in its place.
4	help Satan father the Antichrist and begin the Apocalypse.
5	drive the crime rate up so developers from The Big City can buy the land cheaply.
6	kidnap townspeople and sell their organs to wealthy foreigners.
7	kidnap babies and sell them to childless couples from The Big City.
8	subject people to mind-control experiments, with the goal of creating an army of brainwashed followers.
9	replace the women (or men) of town with androids.
10	subvert all the churches and religious organizations in town to create a cult around themselves.
11	establish the town as a permanent extraterrestrial base – the first step towards an all-out alien invasion.
12	create a secret base of Soviet troops on American soil!

Small Towns Along the Uncanny Highway Part IV: Organizations and Institutions

11 Monday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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These tables define the town’s major organizations and social institutions of small towns along the Uncanny Highway. You definitely don’t want to get on the wrong side of the Machine Gun P.T.A.!

Tables 1 to 9 (in Part I) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 10 to 13 (in Part II) define the predominant People and Culture of the town. Tables 14 to 19 (in Part III) take you “around town” to define it’s businesses, establishments, and locations. Tables 23 to 32 (to be presented in Part V) define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every small town, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”. Finally, Tables 33 to 38 (in the final Part VI) generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering the streets.

Table 20: Town Politics

d4	The average citizen is politically a…
1 or lower	Liberal Republican. Yes, that was a thing in the 1960s and 1970s, especially in the Northeast.
2	Liberal Democrat.
3	Conservative Republican.
4+	Conservative Democrat. Also a thing in the 60s and 70s, especially in the South.

Roll Modifiers: -1 in Northeast, +1 in the South.

Table 21a: Dominant Organization of a Small Town

d100	If you want any kind of respect and power in this town, you need to be involved with…
1 – 3	the Police.
4 – 6	the Volunteer Fire Department.
7 – 9	the Union involved with the Main Industry. Roll again if not applicable.
10 – 12	The Liberated Stonecrafters.
13 – 15	The Sisters of American Independence.
16 – 17	The Boy Lookouts.
18	The Girl Lookouts.
19 – 21	The Wapiti Club.
22 – 24	The Sundrymen.
25 – 27	The Royal Order of Reindeer.
28 – 30	The Patriotic Regiment.
31 – 33	The Tested of Oversees Conflicts.
34 – 36	The Cavaliers of Vespucci.
37 – 39	The Gearing Club.
40 – 42	The Keenwe Club.
43 – 45	The Ligers Club.
46 – 48	The Talkmentors.
49 – 55	the dominant denomination of Christianity.
56 – 58	The Kayzees.
59 – 61	The Forum of Trade.
62 – 64	The 9M Club.
65 – 67	The P.T.A. 25% chance this is the Machine Gun P.T.A of butt-kicking vigilante moms who always find time to make breakfast, help their kids with their homework, and fight crime!
68 – 70	The Town Historical Society.
71 – 73	The Men’s Club of [Town Name].
74 – 76	The Woman’s Society of [Town Name].
77 – 80	The Concerned Parents of [Town Name].
81 – 83	The Neighborhood Watch.
84 – 100	an Odd Secret Society. See Sub-table below.

Dominant Organization Subtable 1 – Odd Secret Societies

d10	The name of this organization is…
1	The Christian	Brothers of	the Cross.
2	The Devoted	Sisters of	the Apostle Paul.
3	The Loyal	Order of	(the) Leopard(s).
4	The Royal	Lodge of	(the) Falcon(s).
5	The True	Society of	Zion.
6	The Accepted	Club of	the Sun.
7	The Blessed	Companions of	the Moon.
8	The Patriotic	Fraternity of	The Star(s).
9	The Illuminated	Sorority of	Freedom.
10	The Pious	Guardians of	Temperance.

Table 21b: Covert Power Center of a Small Town

d20	The Dominant Organization in town has been corrupted by…
1 – 7	nobody – it is actually functioning for the public good.
8	a psychopath who manipulates it to enrich themselves.
9	the C.I.A.
8	the K.G.B.
9	a vampire.
10	a pack of werewolves.
11	Neo-Nazis.
12	a Satanic Cult, or a coven of evil Witches.
13	violent racists.
14	an Extraterrestrial stranded on Earth.
15	a Fairy Queen (or King).
16	a Demon possessing the leader.
17	a sex cult.
18	a cannibal cult.
19	human traffickers.
20	drug dealers.

Table 22a: The High School Varsity Team

d100	The local High School Sports team is apparently the…
1 – 2	Angels,…
3 – 4	Badgers,…
5 – 6	Bandits,…
7 – 8	Bears,…
9 – 10	Braves,…
11 – 12	Broncos,…
13 – 14	Bulldogs,…
15 – 16	Cavaliers,…
17 – 18	Colts,…
19 – 20	Cougars,…
21 – 22	Cowboys,…
23 – 24	Dragons,…
25 – 26	Dragoons,…
27 – 28	Druids,…
29 – 30	Eagles,…
31 – 32	Falcons,…
33 – 34	Griffins,…
35 – 36	Gunners,…
37 – 38	Hawks,…
39 – 40	Hoplites,…
41 – 42	Hunters,…
43 – 44	Jaguars,…
45 – 46	Kings,…
47 – 48	Knights,…
49 – 50	Leopards,…
51 – 52	Lightning,…
53 – 54	Lions,…
55 – 56	Lumberjacks,…
57 – 58	Outlaws,…
59 – 60	Panthers,…
61 – 62	Pioneers,…
63 – 64	Pirates,…
65 – 66	Planets,…
67 – 68	Ramblers,…
69 – 70	Rams,…
71 – 72	Rangers,…
73 – 74	Ravens,…
75 – 76	Riders,…
77 – 78	Rockets,…
79 – 80	Romans,…
81 – 82	Spartans,…
83 – 84	Stars,…
85 – 86	Strikers,…
87 – 88	Suns,…
89 – 90	Thunder,…
91 – 92	Tigers,…
93 – 94	Warriors,…
95 – 96	Wildcats,…
97 – 98	Wizards,…
99 – 100	Wolves,…

d12	…and its colors are…
1	gold…
2	silver…
3	white…
4	black…
5	yellow…
6	red…
7	blue…
8	orange…
9	green…
10	purple…
11	violet..
12	teal…

d12	..and…
1	gold. Roll again if previous result is “gold”.
2	silver. Roll again if previous result is “silver”.
3	white. Roll again if previous result is “white”.
4	black. Roll again if previous result is “black”.
5	yellow. Roll again if previous result is “yellow”.
6	red. Roll again if previous result is “red”.
7	blue. Roll again if previous result is “blue”.
8	orange. Roll again if previous result is “orange”.
9	green. Roll again if previous result is “green”.
10	purple. Roll again if previous result is “purple”.
11	violet. Roll again if previous result is “violet”.
12	teal. Roll again if previous result is “teal”.

Table 22b: The Dominant Varsity Sport in a Small Town

d20	The High School sport townspeople seem to care most about is the…
1 or below	Lacrosse team.
2	Hockey team.
3	Soccer team.
4	Swimming team.
5	Softball team.
6 – 7	Track team.
8 – 9	Baseball team.
10 – 20 or higher	Football Team.

Roll Modifiers: -2 in the Northeast, +1 in Midwest and Southwest.

Small Towns Along the Uncanny Highway Part III: Locations Around Town

08 Friday Jul 2022

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, OSR, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Your lonely and desperate characters have pulled into a small town that promises some temporary refuge from the seemingly endless asphalt prison of the Uncanny Highway. What do they find there? Do they really want to know?

The tables presented here will take you “around town” to define its businesses, establishments, and locations – including the local Unsafe Teenage Hangout, and Lover’s Lane. Tables 1 to 9 (presented in Part I) give you a general overview of the town. Tables 10 to 13 (presented in Part II) define the predominant people and culture of the town. Tables 20 to 22 (upcoming in part IV) define the town’s major organizations and social institutions. Tables 23 to 32 (to be presented in Part V) define the Archetypal NPCs that seem to inhabit every small town, such as the “Most Beloved Person in Town” and the “Town Bully”. Finally, Tables 33 to 38 (in the final Part VI) generate the encounters that PCs will have if they spend time wandering the streets.

Table 14a: Essential Businesses & Establishments of a Small Town

Town Population	This town has at least….
Less than 1,000	1d4 Churches, and a General Store (with gas pumps).
1,000 – 2,000	1d4+1 Churches, an Eatery or Diner, a Gas Station, a General Store, a Bar, a Town Hall, and a School (all grades).
2,000 – 5,000	2d4 Churches, an Eatery, a Diner, a Gas Station, a Drug Store / Pharmacy, a Grocery Store / Supermarket, a Bar, a Post Office, a Town Hall, an Elementary School, and a High School.
5,000 – 10,000	3d6 Churches, an Eatery, a Diner or Restaurant, a Gas Station, a Bank, a Drug Store / Pharmacy, a Grocery Store / Supermarket, 2 Bars, a Post Office, a Newspaper Office, a Library, a Town Hall, a Volunteer Fire Department Hall, an Elementary School, a High School, and a small Hospital.
10,000+	4d6 Churches, an Eatery, a Diner, 2 Restaurants, a Gas Station, a Bank, a Drug Store / Pharmacy, a Grocery Store / Supermarket, 4 Bars, a Post Office, a Newspaper Office, a Library, a Town Hall, a Police Station, a Volunteer Fire Department Hall, an Elementary School, a Middle School, a High School, and a Hospital.

Determine the Denomination of Churches in town with CHURCHES Table 3: Apparent Denomination of a Church.

75% likely any Catholic Church will have a Bingo Night.

25% likely any Church will have a regular Flea Market or Swap Meet on Saturdays.

Table 14b: Additional Businesses & Establishments of a Small Town

d100, once per 1,000 residents.	In addition, there is a(n)…
1	accountant’s office…
2	agricultural / garden supply store…
3	amusement park…
4	arena… For football, concerts, rodeos, swap meets, etc.
5	art gallery…
6	arts & crafts shop…
7	automotive garage…
8	bakery…
9 – 10	bank…
11 – 12	bar…
13 – 14	barber shop…
15 – 16	beauty shop…
17	bicycle shop…
18	biker’s clubhouse…
19	book store…
20	bowling alley…
21	butcher shop…
22	candy shop…
23	car dealership…
24	carpet and flooring store…
25	children’s clothing store…
26	coffee shop…
27	delicatessen…
28	dentist’s office…
29	diner… 50% likely to be open all night.
30	dress maker…
31 – 32	doctor’s office…
33	drug store / pharmacy…
34	dry cleaner’s…
35	eatery… Smaller and less formal than a full restaurant, with a more limited menu.
36	electronics shop (sales & repairs)…
37	ethnic social club…
38	exterminator / pest control specialist…
39	five and dime store… A discount variety store. 25% chance the store also has a lunch counter.
40	florist…
41	fortune teller / psychic…
42	fraternal organization…
43	furniture store…
44	general clothing store…
45	gift shop…
46	golf course… Covers d100+100 acres.
47 – 48	grocery store / supermarket…
49	gun shop…
50	hardware store…
51	headshop… Sells books, posters, incense, music, and paraphernalia related to marijuana. Both the shop and its patrons will suffer regular harassment from the police.
52	ice cream parlor…
53	insurance agency…
54	jewelry store…
55	junk yard…
56	lawyer’s office…
57 – 58	liquor store…
59 – 60	laundromat…
61	locksmith…
62	lumber yard / building supply…
63	men’s clothing store…
64	motel…
65 – 66	movie theater… Single screen.
67	museum…
68	music shop…
69	novelty shop…
70	pet shop…
71	photography shop / picture developer’s…
72	printing shop…
73	private school…
74	race track. d4. Track is used primarily for… 1 – 2=cars. 2=horses, 3=greyhounds.
75	radio station…
76	real estate agency…
77	recreation center…
78	record store…
79	restaurant…. Full menu, regular tables, and full waitstaff.
80	roller rink…
81	rooming house…
82	shoe store…
83	shoe repair…
84	shooting range…
85	small private hospital…
86	sporting goods store…
87	synagogue…
88	tailor…
89	taxidermist…
90	telephone company office…
91	television station…
92	toy shop…
93	trucking company office…
94	tuxedo rental shop…
95	Union hall…
96	utility company office…
97	warehouse…
98	waste management company office…
99	women’s clothing store….
100	Y.M.C.A… Roll again if town population is under 10,000.

d6	…which…
1	is in such bad condition you wonder if it’s still even open.
2	has obviously seen better times.
3 – 4	is doing moderately well.
5	seems to be prospering.
6	is apparently one of the most successful and beloved institutions in town.

Note: you can get off of a bus or a train along the Uncanny Highway, but there are no bus or train routes that pick up passengers. It isn’t that easy to go back to Normal America. Likewise, there are no Travel Agencies in any of the small towns along the Uncanny Highway. GMs should call attention to this fact.

Table 15: The Local Cemetery

d8	The dead are primarily buried…
1 – 2	somewhere else.
3	in scattered family plots, some of which adjoin their homes.
4	in 1d4 old churchyards, according to their faith.
5 – 6	in a small municipal cemetery of just graves and headstones.
7	in a small municipal cemetery, with several tombs of locally prominent people.
8	in a small municipal cemetery, with several tombs of locally prominent people, and a small mausoleum.
9	in a large cemetery that serves several communities. There are many tombs of locally prominent people.
10	in a large cemetery that serves several communities. There are many tombs of locally prominent people, and a large mausoleum.

Table 16: The Public Park or Play Ground of a Small Town

d6	A public park or play ground is located…
1	nowhere in town.
2	near the center of town / town square…
3	on the east side of town…
4	on the west side of town…
5	at the north end of town…
6	at the south end of town..

d20, 1d6 times	…and other than the flagpole there is /are…
1	a playground slide.
2	a merry-go-round.
3	monkey bars.
4	a see-saw.
5	1d4 swings.
6	1d4 drinking fountains.
7	a patch of grass with 1d4 benches.
8	a baseball diamond.
9	a football field.
10	a basketball court.
11	a pond.
12	a flower garden.
13	a lightly wooded area.
14	a public pool.
15	a monument statue.
16	a gazebo.
17	a band shell.
18	chessboard tables.
19	charcoal grills.
20	an ancient tree with a name and a story. Possibly a large cactus in the Southwest.

Table 17: The Local Library of a Small Town

d20	What’s notable about this small town’s Library is…
1	the avant-garde, modernist building.
2	its Gothic architecture, complete with gargoyles.
3	the building is in very poor condition.
4	its extremely skilled librarian, who could be working in a major academic institution if they wanted.
5	the librarian is deeply knowledgeable about occult subjects – and also looks like they could handle themselves in a fight!
6	it also displays a large number of historical artifacts.
7	it is always pin-drop silent inside, even when filled with children.
8	it is surprisingly noisy inside.
9	the large collection of occult books.
10	it looks like the collection includes many valuable first editions stretching back to the Revolution!
11	the large selection of books about U.F.O.s
12	it’s also an art gallery. A very good art gallery.
13	the prominent display of books on progressive causes and Eastern religions.
14	it’s surrounded by a beautiful garden.
15	it displays books by a local author who is now well-known
16	the numerous statues of historical figures around the building.
17	the building seems much larger than is necessary, and most of the interior seems to be off limits to the public.
18	its housed in an old mansion, and is reputed to be haunted.
19	all the staff share a single distinguishing physical characteristic. d6: The staff are all… 1=redheads, 2=albinos, 3=little people, 4=green-eyed, 5=unusually tall, 6=disturbingly thin.
20	it’s apparently “cool” around here to hang out in it.

Table 18: The Local Lover’s Lane

d8	Around here, young lovers make out…
1	by a river or stream.
2	by a lake.
3	on a high bluff outside town.
4	next to a thicket of trees.
5	in the parking lot of the high school’s football stadium
6	by a bridge
7	in a cemetery. The nearest cemetery, if there isn’t one in town.
8	in the parking lot of an abandoned factory.

Table 19: The Unsafe Teenage Hangout

d12	Though the authorities try to stop it, teenagers tend to gather at…
1	a nearby cave.
2	a clearing in the woods / patch of woods on the prairie / canyon in the desert.
3	a gravel pit.
4	a trash dump.
5	a junkyard.
6	an abandoned warehouse or factory.
7	a long and lonely stretch of back highway, where they race their cars.
8	an abandoned house.
9	an abandoned asylum.
10	an empty storefront.
11	an empty church.
12	the reservoir.

Table 1

Table 2

Table 3

Table 4

Table 5

Table 6

Table 7

Table 8

Table 9

Table 10

Table 11

Table 12

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Table 1: Newspaper Name

Table 2: Newspaper Lead Story

Table 3: Strange News Stories

Table 4: Today’s Horoscope

Table 5: Most Notable Advertisement in a Newspaper

Table 6: Letters to the Editor

Table 7: Movie Reviews

Table 8: Help Wanted Ads

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Table 1a: Encounters in the Northeast

Table 1b: Encounters in the South

Table 1c: Encounters in the Midwest

Table 1d: Encounters in the Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains

Table 1e: Encounters in the Southwest

Table 1f: Encounters in Southern and Central California

Table 1g: Encounters in the Pacific Northwest / Northern California

Table 2a: Appearance of an Extraterrestrial

Table 2b: Appearance of an Extraterrestrial Vehicle

Table 3: Unique Chimeric Humanoids

Table 4: Unique Chimeric Animals

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Table 1: Abandoned Vehicle

Table 2: Condition of an Abandoned Vehicle

Table 3: Inhabitants of an Abandoned Car

Table 4: Items Left in an Abandoned Vehicle

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Table 1: Gas Station Architecture

Table 2: Number of Pumps at a Gas Station

Table 3: Quality of Gasoline and Diesel at a Gas Station

Table 4: Gas Station Vending Machines

Table 5a: The Gas Station Garage

Table 5b: Services Offered by a Gas Station Garage

Table 5c: Gas Station Garage Mechanic

Table 6: Gas Station Bathroom

Table 7: Also For Sale at a Gas Station

Table 8: Gas Station Cashier

Table 9: Gas Station Attendant

Table 10: Secret of the Gas Station

Table 11: Gas Station Events

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Table 33: True Danger of a Small Town

Table 34: Current Events and First Encounters in a Small Town

Table 35: Notices Posted Around a Small Town

Table 36 Encounters on the Streets of a Small Town

Table 37: Up in the Sky Above a Small Town

Table 38: Recent News

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Table 23: The Wealthiest Person in Town

Table 24: The Most Beloved Person in Town

Table 25: The Town Conscience

Table 26: The Town Bully

Table 27: The Town Scapegoat

Table 28: The Town Jezebel

Table 29: the Town Lothario

Table 30: The Town Drunk

Table 31: The Town Weirdo

Table 32: The Town Mastermind

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Table 20: Town Politics

Table 21a: Dominant Organization of a Small Town

Table 21b: Covert Power Center of a Small Town

Table 22a: The High School Varsity Team

Table 22b: The Dominant Varsity Sport in a Small Town

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Table 14a: Essential Businesses & Establishments of a Small Town

Table 14b: Additional Businesses & Establishments of a Small Town