Florida Update--need to read!
Hello, everyone. Just doing a quick update here because I really want to use my singular day off this weekend!
I haven't written sooner because I went through the most stressful event of my life, (They are happening with more frequency, but I hope nothing EVEr tops this) about two weeks ago.
So, what happened was I had to move. Big, long, horrible story...the "Music Man" never stopped and I made a n ightly habit of calling security, which was lovely,(being serious) because they were nice and it worked. But then two nights in a row, it didn't. Shifts changed and I was forgotten about until I called agian. My roommie Allison was getting really messed up from it too, she even got on the bandwagon. But the next night, a monday, when I as there without allison, I called again and security came out and it was fine. But about ten minutes later, they started again! So I called again. Fine, good, I was going to bed. Then, about seven minutes later, all of my other roomies knockced on my door and came in my room. In the dark. Lined up next to my bed, and forced me up.
They were freaking out because they said security pointed up at our apt and they were afraid now "someone would come and like, Egg our apt" (which I wouldn't care much about), and also that I was being mean, people had a right to party, and I was ruining their chance at a social life. Like...what the hell.... So i tried to talk to them honestly, calmly, kindly. Give them slack, like they never did to me. But then Katie said that I should be careful about it anyway, because, Look, they stopped and then just started back up, and last night, you didn't even go to bed after you called! To which...what could I say? I was speechless with her stupidity. I mean, they had all decided to come in there and wake me up when I was actually doing what she just accused me of doing. And mind you, this was all in the dark, with even the two neutral roomies ganging up on me. The one I had said even that afternoon, "thank you for being so level-headed and nice. I appreciate it."
So I was like, guess what, screw you guys, I've had it with you. You always gang up on me, have stupid logic, and never give anything, and assume I should bend to everything you say because you're spoiled an all happen to think alike. (meaning I obviously can't really think the way I do because dear god "everyone else" doesn't!) But anyway, the last straw happened when they said, "And if you don't like it, you need to move." And I just sat there for a second, staring at them in the darkness. And then the music started again, and they used it as a point....I never DID get out, "well if you would have just let me sleep I wouldn't be awake by now to care!" but that was when I decided I wasn't going to be a victim and I was finally going to tell them what they were doing wasn't okay. I tried to talk it over with them first, but then I just let them know how they were making me feel. I think I swore once, but all in all it wasn't like I was a total bastard or even got out of bed or anything. I think they were half amazed I was human. Or something...I don't know how to put it, but for one, I don't think they were capable of comprihending they could hurt people with words. Katie was even a little surprised with how "you should get out" sounded when she said it; I saw it on their faces.
So I told them to get out of my room after all that and went to sleep. However, I finally stood up for myself and didn't feel like i was going to die from fear afterward, but I was still so elated (annoyingly) that I was awake for a nother hour and a half. Idiots.
(You see, I get physically sick when issues are unresolved or I have confronted someone until I see them again.... I worry and feel afraid of retaliation and I worry, and I just feel sick. I call it a phobia, because of the physical manifestations of uncontrollable, irrational thoughts. So this antagonoism in the apt was not good for me at all! Especially because the girls were oblivous to the fact they were hurting me, and were the type unable to contemplate their behavior for the needs of others, etc etc.)
So the next day I broke down into tears three or four times in men's offices and at counters, pleading my story and getting help to move. Unfortunately, Allison got sick the day after (a wed), so I had to move all by myself. Fine. But then I got to myt new place, and that night as I called mom, a party was going on below us, and I asked about it. They said it happens all the time and it was actually the best friend of the head girl in our apt who is incharge of the parties. So I decided I had to move again, though I really liked the girls and the location and the apt itself (so much more spacious!).
So before work the next day (I worked every single day that week), I went to the housing guy again and pleaded the case. being so late in the season, there were very few options left. But I told him that I also needed an apt with less people--I was going crazy because I never had alone time, especially mental alone time. (you creative people, you know how it is to be unable to think because you know someone might come in at any moment and interrupt your thoughts, or, somehow, know any guilty stories you're working on and would be embarrassed to have to share, thus spoikling the story for you...though that's mostly just me. Anyway, this is getting long,s o I want to wrap it up.)
So, my stuff in three places, I got to move into a new apt, one-bedroom, with one other roommie, a London girl who's about four feet tall and a bit misshapen. Her name is Lindsey, but she's SO nice. Now that we're more acquinted, i don't look at her funny, just a product of the newness of it all. But now I'm on the first floor, and alone. (her family is visiting this week, so she's staying in their apt-style hotel and I'm here all alone! It's SOOO great)
So my stuff was in three places and I still had only myself and the inter-housing busses to get me around. I ran out of days to move, and at the worst possible of times--this was the third part of the crisis:
I had 15 minutes to turn in my keys and either get a new temp ID or a new ID alltogether. (That was all the time I had between when the clubhouse opened and my bus left). But of course, it didn't work. The machine had issues...who knows what they all were. My voice was getting panicked; I couldn't help it. So with one minute left, the one guy was fixing the machine, and the first guy ... started helping someone else?? He shut down and I was just like, "?!!--!" So then they flustered, the bus came, they set off the alarms getting the back door open to hold the bus, I forgot to grab my old ID they had, so I just had to take the old temp ID (which allows me to get on the bus and into the apts!), and make a run for it.
But....If I got home after 9 pm with the expired ID, they might not let me into the apts complex. And I would get home at... 9.15 pm. So I was screwed, and at work for 10 hours. And then I extended my time (which they forgot to pay me for!), so I was at work for 12 hours. Dear god. And all the while I wasn't sure if I'd have a place to stay that night OR the next (because I would be at work the ENTIRE time the clubhouse was open thursday!).
But, when I got there, (some very nice guys from work, on the bus, were going to help me plead my case if need be, aww) they had my ID at the sec. gate....Which, given the reports about them, I wasn't so sure they'd be tha tsmart--but I made it. Thigs were looking up.
Over the next few days, I got everything moved in. But I honestly felt so awful, trapped, and I guess, a bit scared. I was so exhausted from getting so little food and sleep that I was sleeping through anything, and was either crying or emotioanlly dead. I've never actually been so overwraught that when I cried, I actually was on the floor and couldn't get up. It was ... awful. And it happened more than once.
So that was how awful things were about two weeks ago. and it was hell. I've only been here in my new apt (the one I sent out the address for...and btw it was actually Balwin manor ct not bladwin...stupid book typo) for about a week, but I love it. The only complaint is that the windows are on the North side of the bldg so I can not see sunlight all day , like today, and my bed and pillow collectively suck very much and so I have a pinched couple of nerves in my neck and my entire back, top to bottom around the spine, burns evevn when I just stand. I assume it's from that (and there's no hot tub here at Chatham, like there was at Vista. :( ). And my hip is misaligned a little, so walking is kinda hard. And I had a horrible schedule this week. But other than that, life is well. I feel good, I feel lkike I'm really learning stuff and getting somewhere, I might cut a foot off my hair, and I feel accomplished. I'm writing lots, the sun is so good for that, (ask dad about it for explaination), and I'm going to write more and more fanfics now. My only thought is that if I don't get them all done soon, the fandom will abandon them and all will be for not! SUPER CRY. I fear I've missed my chance, but i believe it's moot.... However, I'll keep working, and try not tobe frantic.
But I like making pancakes, too. that's fun. Our frying pan has issues, though. Aunt jemima mix is very good. ^__^
Alright, thank you family and friends for reading! Sympathy = love!
Sincerely,
--wait I like my name secret--
Engine Blue ^^;
I haven't written sooner because I went through the most stressful event of my life, (They are happening with more frequency, but I hope nothing EVEr tops this) about two weeks ago.
So, what happened was I had to move. Big, long, horrible story...the "Music Man" never stopped and I made a n ightly habit of calling security, which was lovely,(being serious) because they were nice and it worked. But then two nights in a row, it didn't. Shifts changed and I was forgotten about until I called agian. My roommie Allison was getting really messed up from it too, she even got on the bandwagon. But the next night, a monday, when I as there without allison, I called again and security came out and it was fine. But about ten minutes later, they started again! So I called again. Fine, good, I was going to bed. Then, about seven minutes later, all of my other roomies knockced on my door and came in my room. In the dark. Lined up next to my bed, and forced me up.
They were freaking out because they said security pointed up at our apt and they were afraid now "someone would come and like, Egg our apt" (which I wouldn't care much about), and also that I was being mean, people had a right to party, and I was ruining their chance at a social life. Like...what the hell.... So i tried to talk to them honestly, calmly, kindly. Give them slack, like they never did to me. But then Katie said that I should be careful about it anyway, because, Look, they stopped and then just started back up, and last night, you didn't even go to bed after you called! To which...what could I say? I was speechless with her stupidity. I mean, they had all decided to come in there and wake me up when I was actually doing what she just accused me of doing. And mind you, this was all in the dark, with even the two neutral roomies ganging up on me. The one I had said even that afternoon, "thank you for being so level-headed and nice. I appreciate it."
So I was like, guess what, screw you guys, I've had it with you. You always gang up on me, have stupid logic, and never give anything, and assume I should bend to everything you say because you're spoiled an all happen to think alike. (meaning I obviously can't really think the way I do because dear god "everyone else" doesn't!) But anyway, the last straw happened when they said, "And if you don't like it, you need to move." And I just sat there for a second, staring at them in the darkness. And then the music started again, and they used it as a point....I never DID get out, "well if you would have just let me sleep I wouldn't be awake by now to care!" but that was when I decided I wasn't going to be a victim and I was finally going to tell them what they were doing wasn't okay. I tried to talk it over with them first, but then I just let them know how they were making me feel. I think I swore once, but all in all it wasn't like I was a total bastard or even got out of bed or anything. I think they were half amazed I was human. Or something...I don't know how to put it, but for one, I don't think they were capable of comprihending they could hurt people with words. Katie was even a little surprised with how "you should get out" sounded when she said it; I saw it on their faces.
So I told them to get out of my room after all that and went to sleep. However, I finally stood up for myself and didn't feel like i was going to die from fear afterward, but I was still so elated (annoyingly) that I was awake for a nother hour and a half. Idiots.
(You see, I get physically sick when issues are unresolved or I have confronted someone until I see them again.... I worry and feel afraid of retaliation and I worry, and I just feel sick. I call it a phobia, because of the physical manifestations of uncontrollable, irrational thoughts. So this antagonoism in the apt was not good for me at all! Especially because the girls were oblivous to the fact they were hurting me, and were the type unable to contemplate their behavior for the needs of others, etc etc.)
So the next day I broke down into tears three or four times in men's offices and at counters, pleading my story and getting help to move. Unfortunately, Allison got sick the day after (a wed), so I had to move all by myself. Fine. But then I got to myt new place, and that night as I called mom, a party was going on below us, and I asked about it. They said it happens all the time and it was actually the best friend of the head girl in our apt who is incharge of the parties. So I decided I had to move again, though I really liked the girls and the location and the apt itself (so much more spacious!).
So before work the next day (I worked every single day that week), I went to the housing guy again and pleaded the case. being so late in the season, there were very few options left. But I told him that I also needed an apt with less people--I was going crazy because I never had alone time, especially mental alone time. (you creative people, you know how it is to be unable to think because you know someone might come in at any moment and interrupt your thoughts, or, somehow, know any guilty stories you're working on and would be embarrassed to have to share, thus spoikling the story for you...though that's mostly just me. Anyway, this is getting long,s o I want to wrap it up.)
So, my stuff in three places, I got to move into a new apt, one-bedroom, with one other roommie, a London girl who's about four feet tall and a bit misshapen. Her name is Lindsey, but she's SO nice. Now that we're more acquinted, i don't look at her funny, just a product of the newness of it all. But now I'm on the first floor, and alone. (her family is visiting this week, so she's staying in their apt-style hotel and I'm here all alone! It's SOOO great)
So my stuff was in three places and I still had only myself and the inter-housing busses to get me around. I ran out of days to move, and at the worst possible of times--this was the third part of the crisis:
I had 15 minutes to turn in my keys and either get a new temp ID or a new ID alltogether. (That was all the time I had between when the clubhouse opened and my bus left). But of course, it didn't work. The machine had issues...who knows what they all were. My voice was getting panicked; I couldn't help it. So with one minute left, the one guy was fixing the machine, and the first guy ... started helping someone else?? He shut down and I was just like, "?!!--!" So then they flustered, the bus came, they set off the alarms getting the back door open to hold the bus, I forgot to grab my old ID they had, so I just had to take the old temp ID (which allows me to get on the bus and into the apts!), and make a run for it.
But....If I got home after 9 pm with the expired ID, they might not let me into the apts complex. And I would get home at... 9.15 pm. So I was screwed, and at work for 10 hours. And then I extended my time (which they forgot to pay me for!), so I was at work for 12 hours. Dear god. And all the while I wasn't sure if I'd have a place to stay that night OR the next (because I would be at work the ENTIRE time the clubhouse was open thursday!).
But, when I got there, (some very nice guys from work, on the bus, were going to help me plead my case if need be, aww) they had my ID at the sec. gate....Which, given the reports about them, I wasn't so sure they'd be tha tsmart--but I made it. Thigs were looking up.
Over the next few days, I got everything moved in. But I honestly felt so awful, trapped, and I guess, a bit scared. I was so exhausted from getting so little food and sleep that I was sleeping through anything, and was either crying or emotioanlly dead. I've never actually been so overwraught that when I cried, I actually was on the floor and couldn't get up. It was ... awful. And it happened more than once.
So that was how awful things were about two weeks ago. and it was hell. I've only been here in my new apt (the one I sent out the address for...and btw it was actually Balwin manor ct not bladwin...stupid book typo) for about a week, but I love it. The only complaint is that the windows are on the North side of the bldg so I can not see sunlight all day , like today, and my bed and pillow collectively suck very much and so I have a pinched couple of nerves in my neck and my entire back, top to bottom around the spine, burns evevn when I just stand. I assume it's from that (and there's no hot tub here at Chatham, like there was at Vista. :( ). And my hip is misaligned a little, so walking is kinda hard. And I had a horrible schedule this week. But other than that, life is well. I feel good, I feel lkike I'm really learning stuff and getting somewhere, I might cut a foot off my hair, and I feel accomplished. I'm writing lots, the sun is so good for that, (ask dad about it for explaination), and I'm going to write more and more fanfics now. My only thought is that if I don't get them all done soon, the fandom will abandon them and all will be for not! SUPER CRY. I fear I've missed my chance, but i believe it's moot.... However, I'll keep working, and try not tobe frantic.
But I like making pancakes, too. that's fun. Our frying pan has issues, though. Aunt jemima mix is very good. ^__^
Alright, thank you family and friends for reading! Sympathy = love!
Sincerely,
--wait I like my name secret--
Engine Blue ^^;