sometimes, when you don't use it for too long, your voice gets rusty.
and i realize i've never been good at articulating things verbally - but now i find that i can't even find the written words.

maybe it's because i've pulled so far inward, though i've always been by nature a bit of a closed person. (understatement of the week, i know)

anyway, i don't know how to wax eloquent about putting my cat to sleep today. it sucked. a lot.

he's been my friend for, well - longer than i've known anyone who reads this.  which in the scheme of my life narrative is a really bloody long time.

i'm exhausted from releasing all those tears i didn't even know i had left in me. and still surprised by the ones that well up unexpectedly.

i had nothing left afterwards for the house, when i did my final walkthrough this afternoon.  in retrospect, i'm amazed that the only things i conjured up on that last visit were relatively positive memories. and that none of them involved my family.

and thus the things which have born witness to my history pass.
alas that i can not compose a more appropriate requiem.