dpracket

"That you're apparently very good at what you do."

"Okay, but I already told you that.  Anything interesting about me out there?"

"Who are you kidding?  With your ego, I KNOW you've Googled yourself."

"Me?  Never.  So, really...what other information did you find out?"

"That you've worked in Massachusetts, Minnesota, and Texas."

"Don't forget Oakhell...though really, I'm trapped here.  I wouldn't consider it working...more like a form of indentured servitude or something like that..."

"So which state was your favorite?"

"Texas."

"Why don't you sound like you're from Texas?"

"Because I'm not."

"But you don't sound like a Kennedy either."

Reid ignored the comment.  "So, are you satisfied that I'm not a psycho?"

"I never thought you were...Henry, remember?"

"But how can you be sure?" Reid asked.  "I mean, really...you don't know me.  I can see why your friend, Hank, would be concerned...you basically invited a stranger to live with you."

"Yeah...but that was a couple of weeks ago...I know you now."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I think I do."

"So, tell me what you know about me..."

"Okay," Katie said, finishing the wine in her glass and setting it on the coffee table.  "I know that you are driven and dedicated.  You are incredibly smart and talented...quick witted."

"Naturally..."

"However, for all of your brilliance, you are socially awkward.  You're not a mingler, and prefer to hang out by the buffet in social situations." 

"Awkward, huh?  See, I wouldn't say I was awkward.  I just generally don't like people and I don't like small talk.  And I love food.  So, yes, I'm always by the food table."

"You're gruff and cold, but see...I think that's a total defense mechanism."

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure why.  And though you're aloof, you care about your patients a lot.  You're not the hard ass you want everyone to think you are."

"I'm not?"

"No.  Mostly I think you're full of shit.  You think that the rude and cold facade will garner you respect... "

"It does."

"It makes them fear you.  It also makes people dislike you, which most of the time doesn't bother you.  Most of the time."

"Do you dislike me?"

"No, but I did in the first five minutes of knowing you.  But then you let your guard down with me for a bit."

"Only because I'm a sucker for blondes," Reid laughed.  "You figured this all out in a little more than two weeks, did you?"

"Yes.  I have you pegged, Dr. Oliver," Katie smiled.  She leaned forward, and before Reid knew what hit him, Katie's lips were on his.

Strangely, Reid didn't pull away and actually found himself opening his mouth, as Katie's tongue ran across his bottom lip.  He kissed Katie back briefly before pulling away, saying, "I'm sorry..."

Katie put her hand over her eyes.  "Oh my God....Oh my God...I can't believe I did that..."  She turned away from Reid, embarrassed.  "That was so stupid.  We're roommates...and now...ugh...things are going to be awkward."

Reid put his hand on Katie's arm..."Hey...Katie..."

"I'm so sorry, Reid..."

"Look at me." Katie turned and looked at Reid.  He smiled and ran his finger down her cheek.  "You're a beautiful woman."

Katie sighed, unable to meet Reid's eyes.  "Why do I feel a 'but' coming."

"There is a 'but.'  A pretty big one.  But it has absolutely nothing to do with you."

"What do you mean?"

Reid grimmaced a bit, unsure how Katie would take what he was about to say.  "I like guys."

Katie took a few seconds to process what he said.  "Oh..................oh.................really?" 

Reid nodded.  "Yup."

"But you don't seem..."

"I tend to fly under most people's gaydar.  So...see...you DON'T have me all figured out, do you?"

Katie laughed, relaxing somewhat. 

"But," Reid continued, "That kiss...it wasn't entirely unpleasant."

Katie raised her eyebrows.  "Thank you.  I think.  Maybe you're not as gay as you think you are."

Reid chuckled.  "No, believe me...I like dick."

Katie put her hand over Reid's.  "What a coincidence.  So do I."

And with that, the tension left the air, and Reid decided he liked Katie with her dirty little comment even more.

"And it's too soon anyway..." Katie sighed, feeling tears come to her eyes.  "Brad's only been gone five months."

"Five months is a long time to go without...ya know..."

Katie blushed.  "What I miss more is holding hands...hugging..."  Katie wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek.

"Hey, don't cry," Reid pleaded.  "We've already established how useless that is."

Katie nodded.  Reid sighed, irritated with himself for what he was about to do and then lied down on the couch, pulling Katie down with him.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

Katie sighed and wrapped her arm around Reid's waist, snuggling into his chest.  "Thank you," she said softly.

"If you tell a single soul that I hug you voluntarily, I will stop doing so.  But if you need this every now and then, well...it can be our little secret...and I guess it's the least I can do for you, since you're the only person I can stand in town, apart from Jacob, and you got me out of that germ-infested hotel."

"It was the Lakeview...that's hardly a germ-infested hotel."

"Says you."

"I can't believe I kissed you."

"I can.  I mean...look at me."  Reid starting humming Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."

Katie slapped his arm.  "You are such an ego maniac."

After kissing Katie on top of the head, Reid closed his eyes, the single glass of wine making him sleepy after a very long day. 

"See?  It's all an act...you are really just a big old softie."

"I'm warning you, Katie..." 

Katie hummed her amusement.

Reid was almost asleep, when Katie spoke against his side.  "So, I know you've said that you can't stand him, but now that I know you're gay....what do you really think about my sort-of nephew, Luke?"

 

chapter 2

Overwhelmed, Luke stepped backwards, running his left hand up and down his right arm, willing himself to get control of his breathing. Reid licked his bottom lip, as the corners of his mouth lifted into a slim smile.

 "You okay?”

 "No, I’m not. You make me tingle. Fucking tingle! Are you happy?” Luke couldn’t help but grin slightly himself.

 "Actually, yeah…I am. And I don’t do happy.” Seeing Luke’s smile brighten, he warned, “Don’t get excited; I don’t intend to make a habit out of it.”

 Luke shifted his weight, as he put his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor, trying to get his thoughts back on track. “I know you’ve been frustrated with me the past couple of weeks, and I’ve given you reason to be.”

 "We’ve given each other reasons.”

 "Maybe, but Reid…it’s unfair that I haven’t told you what’s going on with me.”

 “Patience is not usually one of my limited virtues,” Reid joked flatly, looking at his shoes and rubbing the back of his neck, “But I knew that you would tell me when you were ready. Maybe.”  

 Luke could tell that Reid was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. 

 “I’ve been hiding behind Noah,” Luke admitted, slowly. “It would have been very easy to fall back into the comfort and security of that.” Luke saw Reid tense at the mention of Noah’s name and added, “But that would have been a lie…it was a lie.”

 Reid let out an audible breath, walked from the kitchen to the couch, and sat down. Luke followed him and sat next to him, one leg tucked underneath him and his arm resting on the couch behind Reid’s shoulders. 

 “I’m sorry, I don’t want to make this about Noah because really, he has nothing to do with it,” Luke apologized, lightly touching the hair at the nape of Reid’s neck, “but I need you to understand why I told him, and you, that I wanted to get back together with him.” 

 “Like you said, you love him,” Reid huffed, irritation entering his voice at going over again that which had already been beaten to death.

 "Yes, I do love him. I can’t not love him. Ever. But I haven’t wanted to get back together with him for weeks now.”

 “Then why did you try to?” Reid put his head back on Luke’s outstretched arm and looked up at the ceiling, clearly tired of the conversation.

 “Because I was scared. I was freaking out. I know you need to hear what I’m feeling, but…Reid…I’ve been in love. I’ve been in lust. I know what those things feel like. But this…with you…” Luke choked on his words. “This…I don’t know what this is. Maybe it’s both, with some like, hate, and need mixed in.”

 “Hate?” Reid’s head popped up. “Really?…hate?”

 “Are you going to deny that we hated each other for a little while there way before Dallas?” Luke asked, leaning closer to Reid.

 "Hate’s a strong word, Mr. Snyder.”

 “Sometimes when we argue…”

 “We argue? Us?” Reid quipped, amused.

 “When we argue, and you get guarded and cold…”

 “Me?”

 Luke grabbed Reid’s arm to get his attention. It worked, and Reid turned toward him, leaning in so close that Luke thought he was going to kiss him. “C’mon, Reid. Stop trying to be funny. Are you going to let me talk here? You wanted me to talk.”

 “By all means. Carry on.” Reid leaned back into his own space.

 “I worry that it won’t take much for you to fall back into hate with me, and then where will that leave me, with all these jumbled up crazy feelings that I can’t even define.”

 Reid put his hand on Luke’s, which still rested on Reid’s arm. “Luke…God, Luke…Luke.   I’ve never hated you. Disliked you? Sure. I’ve been beyond pissed at you many times. But hate? That’s impossible. Seriously, are you nuts? And as far as walking away from you…with all the back and forth we’ve gone through lately…do you really think I’d give up on this? I’ve tried to walk away. And I’ve failed miserably at it.”   Reid reached out and ran his thumb slowly down Luke’s cheek. Luke tugged Reid’s hand away from his face and held it in his lap.

 “What else about this scares you, Luke?”

 Luke looked up now, and his eyes locked with Reid’s. “That I see you, Reid.” Luke quickly looked away, fighting back the tears that wanted to form in his eyes. “You don’t let people see you.”

 Now it was Reid’s turn to look away. He blindly slid his fingers between Luke’s fingers and quietly, anxiously, dreadfully waited for Luke to continue.

  “I feel a great responsibility that you’ve let me in. I know that’s no small thing. For all of your toughness and outward abrasiveness, I can see the fragile part of yourself that you’ve trusted me with.   It scares me to death that you trust me. What have I given you that you trust me with yourself?”

 Reid stared at the floor, unblinking, silent.

 “I feel connected to you, Reid. Physically. Emotionally. Everything.” Luke laughed at himself inwardly. Now that the floodgates were open, it was all spilling out.  Luke sighed and twisted his body in Reid’s direction. Reid nodded, still quiet, swallowing hard. “You can be 20 feet away from me in a room, and I swear I can feel you breathe.”

 Without looking up, Reid turned his shoulders toward Reid. “And when we’re not 20 feet apart? When we’re close…like this?”

 Look gave a frustrated groan. “Well, then I feel like I’m going to die if you don’t touch me.”

 Reid finally looked up, and Luke could see that his eyes were brimmed with emotion. “Thank you, Luke. You have no idea.”   Luke could see the relief in Reid's eyes and felt the surge of relief in his own chest. 

“Reid?”

 “Yeah?”

 “Like seriously…I’m going to die if you don’t touch me.”

Luke looked away and then quickly back again. Reid’s steely blue eyes bore into him. He had seen this look on Reid’s face many times before, but this time there was something different. He looked tired…defeated, and Luke knew that he was the reason for that weariness. He knew that he could take the pain away from Reid; he wanted to take his pain away, but as had been the case over the past few weeks, he just couldn’t find the words to do so. 

 Luke stepped forward and hesitantly brought his lips to Reid’s mouth. Reid’s hand was immediately on his chest, pushing him away. Luke inhaled sharply, involuntarily reacting to the heat of Reid’s hand through his thin t-shirt.

 “Luke…" Reid's eyes softened, almost pleading.  "...talk to me, Luke.” 

Luke shook his head and looked away, his mind swimming in a tidal wave of heat and emotion. Whenever they were close like this, Luke could barely breathe, never mind trying to form a coherent sentence. “I can’t.”

 Reid’s fingers slid down Luke’s chest and side, and laced themselves into Luke’s hand, just below his left hip.

“I need you to talk to me.”

Need. He needs me to give him relief. 

“Please…Luke?” It was barely a whisper. Reid was open. Exposed. Luke knew this was an uncomfortable place for Reid Oliver to be.    He also knew that Reid would not come willingly to this uncomfortable place much longer if he didn’t get some kind of confirmation from Luke about where things were going. 

Luke looked back into Reid’s searching eyes. “I can’t describe how I feel.” 

“Try.” 

“It’s way too intense.”

 “Finally…an adjective,” Reid teased, a light smirk creasing the corners of his eyes.

Luke took a deep breath and squeezed Reid’s hand. “I think the reason I’m having so much trouble telling you what I’m feeling is that I’ve never felt this way. Ever. And that’s very unnerving. I mean, a few months ago, I thought I had it all, you know?”

Reid looked down and nodded. Luke continued. “I thought I had myself figured out. I thought I knew exactly how to love someone, how to need someone. But now…to feel something new, something unexpected, something so powerful…it’s scary.”

 “I scare you?”

 “No…well, maybe. You’re new and different. You’re unknown. I don’t know how to navigate you."  Luke sighed as he heard his own voice crack.  "I don’t even know where to start.” 

Luke stepped into Reid’s space again, so close that their hips touched. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear it hammering in his ears, certain that Reid could hear it too.

 Reid’s lips gently brushed the hair at Luke's temple. “Start right here.”