Blue Skies and Pain, Part Two
PART ONE: http://dpracket.livejournal.com/75967.html
"Good morning," Greg said, leaning down and kissing the side of Reid's neck from behind him. "I can't believe you're up before me. What time did you get in?"
"Around 3:15," Reid answered. "There's coffee, and I picked up some bagels. They're on the counter."
A few minutes later, Greg sat down across from his boyfriend, licking cream cheese from his finger.
Reid put the paper down that he was reading. "Hey, uh, listen........last night. I stayed late at the hospital, but I wasn't working."
"Oh?" Greg thumbed through the paper to find the sports section.
Reid took a sip of his coffee. "I was with a patient, but..." He sighed.
"You okay?" Greg asked.
"I told you about that guy I was involved with briefly here in Oakdale when I first moved here, right?"
"The younger guy? Yeah."
"Luke. He's at Memorial right now, in the ICU. I went up there to see him. He's in rough shape." Greg nodded but didn't say anything. "I sat with him for a while, and then I ended up falling asleep, and that's it. You thought I was working, and I don't want to mislead you."
"Is he going to be okay?"
"He should be."
"How was that for you? Seeing him again?"
"Weird. I mean, he was asleep most of the time. He freaked out when he first realized I was there, but his temperature was dangerously high, and he was sort of out of it. I'm not even sure he'll remember me being there." Reid shook his head. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know."
"Thanks for telling me, but you know I trust you, right?"
"Yeah, I know," Reid replied, reaching across the table to play with the fingers on Greg's left hand. "You gonna give me a bit of that bagel or what?"
*********************************************************
The following day, after his morning rounds, Reid stood outside the window to Luke's ICU window again. His parents were visiting him, and Luke looked a lot better. He was sitting up, and he was eating breakfast. Reid was just about to turn to leave, when Holden met his eyes through the glass. He nodded toward Reid, and appeared to excuse himself as Reid stepped away from the window. Holden caught up with him by the elevators. "Dr. Oliver."
Reid turned around and sighed. "Hello, Mr. Snyder."
"Where are you going?" Holden asked.
Reid shook his head. "I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and he looks better, so I'm..."
"Come in and see him. He'd like that."
"No. I've got to get back to my floor. I have a consult in an hour, and I need to go over the radiology reports before then."
"He said that he had a dream that you came to his room the night before last, but the nurse told him that it wasn't a dream."
"I heard he was here, and I had to make sure he was okay," Reid answered, defensively.
"She said that you spent a few hours with him in the middle of the night."
"Where's Noah?" Reid asked, the name sour on his tongue, but he wanted to shift attention off of himself.
"I don't know," Holden answered, his voice sharp. "And I don't care. He and Luke broke up a few months ago, thank God. The move to LA was not good for my son, and that piece of shit did nothing but make him miserable out there."
Reid was taken back by Holden's words, but he wasn't interested in hearing the specifics. "Well, he's in good hands now. Listen, I have to get back to work." He glanced back at the door to Luke's room. "Don't tell him I was here. I'm not really interested in........I don't know................shit." He took a deep breath. "I'm glad he's okay."
"Okay is a debatable word." Reid didn't reply. "He's in a bad place. He could use a friend."
"Are you implying that you'd like me to be his friend?"
"You cared about him."
I still do. "And he left. Prior to yesterday, I had not seen him or spoken to him in over a year and a half."
"He's been hurting himself," Holden said, looking down. "And a few months back, he attempted suicide. He denies it, but we believe he wanted to kill himself."
Reid's stomach suddenly felt like it was filled with rocks. "Then he doesn't need a friend; he needs a psychologist," he said stoically.
"How can you be so cold?" Holden asked.
"Listen, Luke and I were together just a few weeks. WEEKS. Not months. Not years. But you're right...I cared about him a lot. I would have done anything for him, but he dumped me in order to run over the same ground with Noah again. His choice. Not mine. What the hell do you expect from me? He's got you. He's got his mother. This whole damn town loves him. He's related to half the people in it in one way or another. I'm sure there will be plenty of friends around to help him pick up the pieces of his broken heart. Again. This is what they do, right? Break up and get back together and then break up again? I'm not getting sucked into this, Mr. Snyder. If you are worried that he's depressed and might hurt himself, then get him a therapist, but don't expect me to be the one to hold his hand through this."
****************************************
Greg looked up from the papers he was grading on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?" Reid asked, not taking his eyes off the TV.
Greg glanced at the screen. "Well for one, you're watching Dancing With the Stars..."
"Oh," Reid answered, picking up the remote and changing the channel.
"And you're fretting," Greg observed.
"I'm not fretting. Old ladies fret. Me? I frot," Reid tried to joke, but he couldn't even manage a smile.
"Oh, really? Your leg is doing that bouncing thing it does when you're worried or nervous, and your eyebrows are all pinched up." Reid shook his head. Greg put the papers on the coffee table and took off his glasses. "Out with it. What's going on?"
"Nothing is going on."
Greg took the remote out of Reid's hand and turned the TV off. "Talk to me, doc. What's got you so preoccupied that you have control of the remote and are not making me watch Man vs. Food?"
Reid ran a hand through his hair. "You don't want to know."
Greg took a deep breath. "Is it that guy? Luke?"
Reid shook his head. "I don't want to talk to you about him."
"Why?" Greg asked, putting his hand on the back of Reid's neck.
"Because if you were talking about an ex, I'd hate it."
Greg chuckled. "Well, we all know that I am infinitesimally more evolved than you are. I can handle it. Spill." Reid still stayed quiet. "Have you seen him again?"
"Really? We're going to do this?"
"Reid!"
"Okay, fine. No. I did not see him again. Well, yes, actually I did see him, but just through the ICU window."
"Stalker."
Reid felt the corners of his lips curl up. He loved that Greg could always get a positive reaction from him, despite his mood. "I talked to his father. It was more like his father cornered me and badgered me about what I was going to do to help Luke."
"Is he your responsibility?" Greg asked.
"Right? No. And that's pretty much what I said to him. But he told me some stuff, and..." Reid knocked his knuckles against his own forehead. "...and I can't stop thinking about it."
"Is it bad?"
Reid sighed. "He tried to commit suicide."
"Damn."
"And when I was at the hospital with him.........he's.........." Reid shook his head, not wanting to say it. "He's cutting himself. He has cuts on his stomach and on his upper leg."
"Self harming is serious. I took a workshop on it a couple of years ago because we, as instructors, need to be aware of this stuff to spot students in distress."
"It's fucked up," Reid replied. "Why would someone do that to themselves?"
"It's a coping mechanism sometimes, and it's definitely a symptom of something greater. You're right to be worried about him."
"Who said I'm worried about him?" Reid asked defensively.
"Reid..." Greg scooted closer to Reid, put his arm around his shoulders, and kissed the side of his head. "You are so cute, when you are trying to act tough and aloof."
"Fuck you," Reid said, faking a jab to Greg's ribs with his elbow, but then he relaxed and leaned into Greg's embrace. "I have very little patience for drama....or self-loathing..........or being a victim of your own bullshit behavior."
"But you care about him."
"I don't want to care," Reid argued. "I want to hate his guts."
"But you don't."
"How are you okay with this?" Reid asked, sitting back to study Greg.
"I'm really not, but I'm trying to be supportive. As I told you yesterday: I trust you."
Reid narrowed his eyes. "I think you're trying to use some reverse psychology voodoo on me...like if you say it enough times, I'll be unable to do anything that would break your trust."
Greg smiled and nodded. "Ahhh, you've figured out my master plan. I can't put anything past you." He tweaked Reid's chin.
Reid sobered. "I have no idea how to help him," he admitted softly.
Greg put his hand on Reid's forearm. "You're a brain surgeon; you'll figure something out." He nodded toward the papers on the coffee table. "Those aren't due back until Friday." He sat up and kissed the side of Reid's neck. "How about we go to bed and I take your mind off things?"
Reid leaned over and kissed Greg hard on the mouth. He pulled back and cupped his cheek. "I don't deserve you."
Greg smiled. "This is true," he teased. "C'mon, let's go to bed."
****************************************
Two days later, Reid received a text from Luke after lunch: HEY.
Reid answered: How do you feel?
Luke: Better. I was moved to a regular room. 422. Do you have time to come see me?
Reid: Maybe Reid wanted to lie. He wanted to say that he had surgery.
Luke: I'd like to see you if you get the chance. Ok?
Reid: yeah, ok
****************************************
Just under three hours later, Reid walked into room 422. The blinds were closed, and Luke had his eyes closed. Reid turned around to leave when Luke stirred and opened his eyes. "Reid..."
"Yeah, hey," Reid answered, approaching the side of the bed. He looked Luke over. "You look a lot better than the other night."
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I don't remember much. One of the nurses told me I was a little out of my head. I thought it was a dream."
"You were out of it. Your temperature was dangerously high."
"She also told me that you stayed with me. Thanks." Reid nodded. "Sit down," Luke said, gesturing toward the chair.
"No, that's okay. I can't stay long."
"You look good, Reid. How are you? How have you been?"
"Fine."
"Talkative as ever," Luke teased, but Reid didn't take the bait. "I hear that the neuro wing is a great success...and Chief of Neurology......hail to the Chief...."
"Why are you hurting yourself?" Reid asked bluntly, the question having gnawed away at his brain for the past few days.
"I'm not," Luke said, shifting in the bed and looking away.
"Bullshit, Luke. I saw the cut marks the other night. Some of them were recent."
"That's nothing," Luke said. "It's no different than a tattoo."
"In what universe?" Reid demanded. "Jesus, Luke...why the hell would you do that to yourself?" Luke let out a puff of air, his jaw firmly set. "What's the matter, you don't feel like talking now?"
"You should leave," Luke said, glaring at Reid.
Reid approached the bed and put his hand on top of Luke's. "What happened to you out there?" Luke pulled his hand away. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me about it."
"I don't need your help. I'm fine."
"That's not what Good Dad says."
"What did he tell you?" Luke asked, his voice squeaky.
"Did you try to kill youself?"
"No!" Luke answered. "I OD'd. It was a mistake. I took some pills with vodka, and....why would he tell you about that? Fuck."
"Pills...What kind of pills?"
"I don't know. Pain. Anti-depressents. Who knows."
"Are you crazy?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing this with you, Reid."
"You can't mix that crap," Reid offered. "You could have died."
"No shit, Doctor. Tell me something I don't know."
"How'd you get the pills?"
Luke smirked. "I'm Richie Rich, remember? You can pretty much get anything if you have the money. And when I didn't have enough money on me, there was always my mouth.........or my ass."
Reid felt his stomach roll. What happened to the guy who made him wait? What happened to the guy who didn't share his body without being absolutely sure of the relationship? "Luke.........why?.......why didn't you call me?"
Luke let out a strangled laugh. "Right. Do you not remember how angry you were with me? Don't you remember telling me that if I left with Noah that you had no desire to ever see me again?" Reid closed his eyes against the memory. "I screwed you over, Reid. I know that. So, I wasn't about to call you and ask for help. It wouldn't have been fair to you."
"I would have helped you," Reid said, his voice softer. "You know that, right?"
Luke nodded. "I know, but I just.........I couldn't......." Reid stayed quiet. He didn't know what else to say. He had an overwhelming desire to just wrap his arms around Luke, but he fought it with everything he had. He meant what he'd said to Holden about not wanting to be sucked into Luke's drama with Noah. However, he'd also not slept much the past two nights, thinking about Luke hurting himself, of being so desperate that he washed down pills with alcohol and had possibly intended to never wake up. Luke took a deep breath. "I'm going into rehab, as soon as they discharge me. I don't need it, but my family is fucking forcing me. They've frozen my accounts because ya know, none of it has ever been my money. I'll be there for a month."
Reid felt relieved. "Will they address the cutting?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm sure they will. My parents arranged everything, and they're freaked out about that too."
"That's not surprising. It's not healthy behavior."
Luke rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."
"That's mature," Reid said, suddenly irritated with Luke's attitude. "Where's Noah?" Reid didn't think before asking.
"Hell if I know," Luke answered. "He turned out to be an asshole. Just like you said. Congratulations. I know how much you like being right."
"Did he hurt you?" Reid asked. "Physically, I mean..."
"Not anything I couldn't handle." Reid felt his jaw clench, but he didn't say anything. "You should go."
"Luke..."
"Are you fucking deaf? I don't want you here!" Luke picked up the tissue box from next to his bed and threw it at Reid, who caught it. "Get out!"
Reid could see the unshed tears in Luke's eyes. He bit his tongue so as not to say something that he couldn't take back and drew in a deep breath. "I hope they can help you, Luke."
"Whatever," Luke repeated, turning his head away from Reid but not before Reid saw the tear slide down his cheek.
"Take care of yourself," Reid said softly before walking out the door.
****************************************
"It smells great," Reid remarked, standing up from the couch and walking to the door. He opened it to find Luke standing on the mat with a six pack of Dr. Pepper and a plate of cookies. "Luke," Reid said, blocking the door with his body. "You're out of rehab already."
"Yup. I got out yesterday."
"Good. Uh, good. How do you feel?"
"I'm great," Luke said, the smile on his face reflecting his words, as he tried to peer around Reid into the apartment. "Aren't you going to let me in?"
"Um, yeah.....yeah, of course," Reid answered, stepping aside.
Luke stepped into the apartment, and as he walked into the living room, he saw a man turn around from the stove and look at him. "Hi," Greg said.
"Oh," Luke said. "Hello."
Reid took a deep breath, and took the soda out of Luke's hand and placed it on the coffee table as Greg walked toward them, wiping his hands on a towel.
Reid cleared his throat. "Greg Bowman, this is Luke Snyder." He turned to Luke. "Luke, this is my boyfriend, Greg."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Greg said, extending his hand toward Luke. "I've heard so much about you."
Luke shook Greg's hand. "Oh. You have? I mean...um, yeah, it's nice to meet you too."
Reid looked between the two men, Greg with a smile on his face and Luke with wide eyes, and he wished a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole.
"Um," Luke stammered. "Uh, yeah. Here," he said handing the cookies to Reid. "My grandmother made them...........I should have called first. Yeah, I'm gonna go."
"Wait," Greg said, and Luke turned back around. "We're about to eat. Why don't you join us?"
Luke looked at Reid, who was tapping his thumb nervously against his thigh. "Uh, that's um.....that's nice, but I think I should go."
"I made plenty of food," Greg said, chuckling. "I always make extra because this one eats like a linebacker." He put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "You're welcome to stay, right, Doc?" Luke glanced at Reid, who tried not to look like a deer caught in headlights. "Reid?" Greg repeated.
"Oh, um....yeah.....yeah, of course. You should stay, Mr. Snyder." No. Don't stay. Please, don't say.
"Mr. Snyder?" Greg said, laughing. "That's a little formal." He shook his head and made a face to indicate that Reid was nuts.
Luke smiled. "Ok. Yeah. I'll stay for dinner. Thanks."
"Great!" Greg answered, turning and heading toward the kitchen. Reid knew that his boyfriend had a lot of questions, but he was playing it cool, and Reid was thankful for that.
Luke turned to Reid. "Where are Katie and Jacob?" he whispered.
Reid made a face like Luke had two heads. "They moved out over a year ago. She lives with Doogie now. I get visitation with the kid on Wednesdays and every other weekend."
Luke nodded, his mouth hanging open.
"I'm kidding," Reid said, shaking his head.
"I've lost touch with everyone," Luke said softly.
"Her cell's the same. Give her a call. I bet she'd love to hear from you," Reid offered. "C'mon. Greg's a great cook. Let's eat."
"Good morning," Greg said, leaning down and kissing the side of Reid's neck from behind him. "I can't believe you're up before me. What time did you get in?"
"Around 3:15," Reid answered. "There's coffee, and I picked up some bagels. They're on the counter."
A few minutes later, Greg sat down across from his boyfriend, licking cream cheese from his finger.
Reid put the paper down that he was reading. "Hey, uh, listen........last night. I stayed late at the hospital, but I wasn't working."
"Oh?" Greg thumbed through the paper to find the sports section.
Reid took a sip of his coffee. "I was with a patient, but..." He sighed.
"You okay?" Greg asked.
"I told you about that guy I was involved with briefly here in Oakdale when I first moved here, right?"
"The younger guy? Yeah."
"Luke. He's at Memorial right now, in the ICU. I went up there to see him. He's in rough shape." Greg nodded but didn't say anything. "I sat with him for a while, and then I ended up falling asleep, and that's it. You thought I was working, and I don't want to mislead you."
"Is he going to be okay?"
"He should be."
"How was that for you? Seeing him again?"
"Weird. I mean, he was asleep most of the time. He freaked out when he first realized I was there, but his temperature was dangerously high, and he was sort of out of it. I'm not even sure he'll remember me being there." Reid shook his head. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know."
"Thanks for telling me, but you know I trust you, right?"
"Yeah, I know," Reid replied, reaching across the table to play with the fingers on Greg's left hand. "You gonna give me a bit of that bagel or what?"
*********************************************************
The following day, after his morning rounds, Reid stood outside the window to Luke's ICU window again. His parents were visiting him, and Luke looked a lot better. He was sitting up, and he was eating breakfast. Reid was just about to turn to leave, when Holden met his eyes through the glass. He nodded toward Reid, and appeared to excuse himself as Reid stepped away from the window. Holden caught up with him by the elevators. "Dr. Oliver."
Reid turned around and sighed. "Hello, Mr. Snyder."
"Where are you going?" Holden asked.
Reid shook his head. "I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and he looks better, so I'm..."
"Come in and see him. He'd like that."
"No. I've got to get back to my floor. I have a consult in an hour, and I need to go over the radiology reports before then."
"He said that he had a dream that you came to his room the night before last, but the nurse told him that it wasn't a dream."
"I heard he was here, and I had to make sure he was okay," Reid answered, defensively.
"She said that you spent a few hours with him in the middle of the night."
"Where's Noah?" Reid asked, the name sour on his tongue, but he wanted to shift attention off of himself.
"I don't know," Holden answered, his voice sharp. "And I don't care. He and Luke broke up a few months ago, thank God. The move to LA was not good for my son, and that piece of shit did nothing but make him miserable out there."
Reid was taken back by Holden's words, but he wasn't interested in hearing the specifics. "Well, he's in good hands now. Listen, I have to get back to work." He glanced back at the door to Luke's room. "Don't tell him I was here. I'm not really interested in........I don't know................shit." He took a deep breath. "I'm glad he's okay."
"Okay is a debatable word." Reid didn't reply. "He's in a bad place. He could use a friend."
"Are you implying that you'd like me to be his friend?"
"You cared about him."
I still do. "And he left. Prior to yesterday, I had not seen him or spoken to him in over a year and a half."
"He's been hurting himself," Holden said, looking down. "And a few months back, he attempted suicide. He denies it, but we believe he wanted to kill himself."
Reid's stomach suddenly felt like it was filled with rocks. "Then he doesn't need a friend; he needs a psychologist," he said stoically.
"How can you be so cold?" Holden asked.
"Listen, Luke and I were together just a few weeks. WEEKS. Not months. Not years. But you're right...I cared about him a lot. I would have done anything for him, but he dumped me in order to run over the same ground with Noah again. His choice. Not mine. What the hell do you expect from me? He's got you. He's got his mother. This whole damn town loves him. He's related to half the people in it in one way or another. I'm sure there will be plenty of friends around to help him pick up the pieces of his broken heart. Again. This is what they do, right? Break up and get back together and then break up again? I'm not getting sucked into this, Mr. Snyder. If you are worried that he's depressed and might hurt himself, then get him a therapist, but don't expect me to be the one to hold his hand through this."
****************************************
Greg looked up from the papers he was grading on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?" Reid asked, not taking his eyes off the TV.
Greg glanced at the screen. "Well for one, you're watching Dancing With the Stars..."
"Oh," Reid answered, picking up the remote and changing the channel.
"And you're fretting," Greg observed.
"I'm not fretting. Old ladies fret. Me? I frot," Reid tried to joke, but he couldn't even manage a smile.
"Oh, really? Your leg is doing that bouncing thing it does when you're worried or nervous, and your eyebrows are all pinched up." Reid shook his head. Greg put the papers on the coffee table and took off his glasses. "Out with it. What's going on?"
"Nothing is going on."
Greg took the remote out of Reid's hand and turned the TV off. "Talk to me, doc. What's got you so preoccupied that you have control of the remote and are not making me watch Man vs. Food?"
Reid ran a hand through his hair. "You don't want to know."
Greg took a deep breath. "Is it that guy? Luke?"
Reid shook his head. "I don't want to talk to you about him."
"Why?" Greg asked, putting his hand on the back of Reid's neck.
"Because if you were talking about an ex, I'd hate it."
Greg chuckled. "Well, we all know that I am infinitesimally more evolved than you are. I can handle it. Spill." Reid still stayed quiet. "Have you seen him again?"
"Really? We're going to do this?"
"Reid!"
"Okay, fine. No. I did not see him again. Well, yes, actually I did see him, but just through the ICU window."
"Stalker."
Reid felt the corners of his lips curl up. He loved that Greg could always get a positive reaction from him, despite his mood. "I talked to his father. It was more like his father cornered me and badgered me about what I was going to do to help Luke."
"Is he your responsibility?" Greg asked.
"Right? No. And that's pretty much what I said to him. But he told me some stuff, and..." Reid knocked his knuckles against his own forehead. "...and I can't stop thinking about it."
"Is it bad?"
Reid sighed. "He tried to commit suicide."
"Damn."
"And when I was at the hospital with him.........he's.........." Reid shook his head, not wanting to say it. "He's cutting himself. He has cuts on his stomach and on his upper leg."
"Self harming is serious. I took a workshop on it a couple of years ago because we, as instructors, need to be aware of this stuff to spot students in distress."
"It's fucked up," Reid replied. "Why would someone do that to themselves?"
"It's a coping mechanism sometimes, and it's definitely a symptom of something greater. You're right to be worried about him."
"Who said I'm worried about him?" Reid asked defensively.
"Reid..." Greg scooted closer to Reid, put his arm around his shoulders, and kissed the side of his head. "You are so cute, when you are trying to act tough and aloof."
"Fuck you," Reid said, faking a jab to Greg's ribs with his elbow, but then he relaxed and leaned into Greg's embrace. "I have very little patience for drama....or self-loathing..........or being a victim of your own bullshit behavior."
"But you care about him."
"I don't want to care," Reid argued. "I want to hate his guts."
"But you don't."
"How are you okay with this?" Reid asked, sitting back to study Greg.
"I'm really not, but I'm trying to be supportive. As I told you yesterday: I trust you."
Reid narrowed his eyes. "I think you're trying to use some reverse psychology voodoo on me...like if you say it enough times, I'll be unable to do anything that would break your trust."
Greg smiled and nodded. "Ahhh, you've figured out my master plan. I can't put anything past you." He tweaked Reid's chin.
Reid sobered. "I have no idea how to help him," he admitted softly.
Greg put his hand on Reid's forearm. "You're a brain surgeon; you'll figure something out." He nodded toward the papers on the coffee table. "Those aren't due back until Friday." He sat up and kissed the side of Reid's neck. "How about we go to bed and I take your mind off things?"
Reid leaned over and kissed Greg hard on the mouth. He pulled back and cupped his cheek. "I don't deserve you."
Greg smiled. "This is true," he teased. "C'mon, let's go to bed."
****************************************
Two days later, Reid received a text from Luke after lunch: HEY.
Reid answered: How do you feel?
Luke: Better. I was moved to a regular room. 422. Do you have time to come see me?
Reid: Maybe Reid wanted to lie. He wanted to say that he had surgery.
Luke: I'd like to see you if you get the chance. Ok?
Reid: yeah, ok
****************************************
Just under three hours later, Reid walked into room 422. The blinds were closed, and Luke had his eyes closed. Reid turned around to leave when Luke stirred and opened his eyes. "Reid..."
"Yeah, hey," Reid answered, approaching the side of the bed. He looked Luke over. "You look a lot better than the other night."
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I don't remember much. One of the nurses told me I was a little out of my head. I thought it was a dream."
"You were out of it. Your temperature was dangerously high."
"She also told me that you stayed with me. Thanks." Reid nodded. "Sit down," Luke said, gesturing toward the chair.
"No, that's okay. I can't stay long."
"You look good, Reid. How are you? How have you been?"
"Fine."
"Talkative as ever," Luke teased, but Reid didn't take the bait. "I hear that the neuro wing is a great success...and Chief of Neurology......hail to the Chief...."
"Why are you hurting yourself?" Reid asked bluntly, the question having gnawed away at his brain for the past few days.
"I'm not," Luke said, shifting in the bed and looking away.
"Bullshit, Luke. I saw the cut marks the other night. Some of them were recent."
"That's nothing," Luke said. "It's no different than a tattoo."
"In what universe?" Reid demanded. "Jesus, Luke...why the hell would you do that to yourself?" Luke let out a puff of air, his jaw firmly set. "What's the matter, you don't feel like talking now?"
"You should leave," Luke said, glaring at Reid.
Reid approached the bed and put his hand on top of Luke's. "What happened to you out there?" Luke pulled his hand away. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me about it."
"I don't need your help. I'm fine."
"That's not what Good Dad says."
"What did he tell you?" Luke asked, his voice squeaky.
"Did you try to kill youself?"
"No!" Luke answered. "I OD'd. It was a mistake. I took some pills with vodka, and....why would he tell you about that? Fuck."
"Pills...What kind of pills?"
"I don't know. Pain. Anti-depressents. Who knows."
"Are you crazy?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing this with you, Reid."
"You can't mix that crap," Reid offered. "You could have died."
"No shit, Doctor. Tell me something I don't know."
"How'd you get the pills?"
Luke smirked. "I'm Richie Rich, remember? You can pretty much get anything if you have the money. And when I didn't have enough money on me, there was always my mouth.........or my ass."
Reid felt his stomach roll. What happened to the guy who made him wait? What happened to the guy who didn't share his body without being absolutely sure of the relationship? "Luke.........why?.......why didn't you call me?"
Luke let out a strangled laugh. "Right. Do you not remember how angry you were with me? Don't you remember telling me that if I left with Noah that you had no desire to ever see me again?" Reid closed his eyes against the memory. "I screwed you over, Reid. I know that. So, I wasn't about to call you and ask for help. It wouldn't have been fair to you."
"I would have helped you," Reid said, his voice softer. "You know that, right?"
Luke nodded. "I know, but I just.........I couldn't......." Reid stayed quiet. He didn't know what else to say. He had an overwhelming desire to just wrap his arms around Luke, but he fought it with everything he had. He meant what he'd said to Holden about not wanting to be sucked into Luke's drama with Noah. However, he'd also not slept much the past two nights, thinking about Luke hurting himself, of being so desperate that he washed down pills with alcohol and had possibly intended to never wake up. Luke took a deep breath. "I'm going into rehab, as soon as they discharge me. I don't need it, but my family is fucking forcing me. They've frozen my accounts because ya know, none of it has ever been my money. I'll be there for a month."
Reid felt relieved. "Will they address the cutting?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm sure they will. My parents arranged everything, and they're freaked out about that too."
"That's not surprising. It's not healthy behavior."
Luke rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."
"That's mature," Reid said, suddenly irritated with Luke's attitude. "Where's Noah?" Reid didn't think before asking.
"Hell if I know," Luke answered. "He turned out to be an asshole. Just like you said. Congratulations. I know how much you like being right."
"Did he hurt you?" Reid asked. "Physically, I mean..."
"Not anything I couldn't handle." Reid felt his jaw clench, but he didn't say anything. "You should go."
"Luke..."
"Are you fucking deaf? I don't want you here!" Luke picked up the tissue box from next to his bed and threw it at Reid, who caught it. "Get out!"
Reid could see the unshed tears in Luke's eyes. He bit his tongue so as not to say something that he couldn't take back and drew in a deep breath. "I hope they can help you, Luke."
"Whatever," Luke repeated, turning his head away from Reid but not before Reid saw the tear slide down his cheek.
"Take care of yourself," Reid said softly before walking out the door.
****************************************
"It smells great," Reid remarked, standing up from the couch and walking to the door. He opened it to find Luke standing on the mat with a six pack of Dr. Pepper and a plate of cookies. "Luke," Reid said, blocking the door with his body. "You're out of rehab already."
"Yup. I got out yesterday."
"Good. Uh, good. How do you feel?"
"I'm great," Luke said, the smile on his face reflecting his words, as he tried to peer around Reid into the apartment. "Aren't you going to let me in?"
"Um, yeah.....yeah, of course," Reid answered, stepping aside.
Luke stepped into the apartment, and as he walked into the living room, he saw a man turn around from the stove and look at him. "Hi," Greg said.
"Oh," Luke said. "Hello."
Reid took a deep breath, and took the soda out of Luke's hand and placed it on the coffee table as Greg walked toward them, wiping his hands on a towel.
Reid cleared his throat. "Greg Bowman, this is Luke Snyder." He turned to Luke. "Luke, this is my boyfriend, Greg."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Greg said, extending his hand toward Luke. "I've heard so much about you."
Luke shook Greg's hand. "Oh. You have? I mean...um, yeah, it's nice to meet you too."
Reid looked between the two men, Greg with a smile on his face and Luke with wide eyes, and he wished a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole.
"Um," Luke stammered. "Uh, yeah. Here," he said handing the cookies to Reid. "My grandmother made them...........I should have called first. Yeah, I'm gonna go."
"Wait," Greg said, and Luke turned back around. "We're about to eat. Why don't you join us?"
Luke looked at Reid, who was tapping his thumb nervously against his thigh. "Uh, that's um.....that's nice, but I think I should go."
"I made plenty of food," Greg said, chuckling. "I always make extra because this one eats like a linebacker." He put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "You're welcome to stay, right, Doc?" Luke glanced at Reid, who tried not to look like a deer caught in headlights. "Reid?" Greg repeated.
"Oh, um....yeah.....yeah, of course. You should stay, Mr. Snyder." No. Don't stay. Please, don't say.
"Mr. Snyder?" Greg said, laughing. "That's a little formal." He shook his head and made a face to indicate that Reid was nuts.
Luke smiled. "Ok. Yeah. I'll stay for dinner. Thanks."
"Great!" Greg answered, turning and heading toward the kitchen. Reid knew that his boyfriend had a lot of questions, but he was playing it cool, and Reid was thankful for that.
Luke turned to Reid. "Where are Katie and Jacob?" he whispered.
Reid made a face like Luke had two heads. "They moved out over a year ago. She lives with Doogie now. I get visitation with the kid on Wednesdays and every other weekend."
Luke nodded, his mouth hanging open.
"I'm kidding," Reid said, shaking his head.
"I've lost touch with everyone," Luke said softly.
"Her cell's the same. Give her a call. I bet she'd love to hear from you," Reid offered. "C'mon. Greg's a great cook. Let's eat."