Reid looked up to the soft rapping on the frame of his office door to find Luke standing in the doorway. He looked thinner, but more solid, and his hair was shorter than Reid had ever seen it. He had a tightly trimmed goatee. He looked older. More mature. Confident. Sexy as hell.
It had been ten months since they had broken up over Bob's ultimatum. Less than two months later, Bob had told Mona Cross and Invicta to take a hike and had found investors elsewhere, but by that time, the damage had been done. There had been too many arguments, too many misunderstandings, and too many things said in the heat of the moment between two willful men who weren't willing to budge from their positions.
Reid wasn't going to give up the neurology wing or his patients at the hospital. Luke had known saving patients was Reid's life, how could he ask Reid to give that up? How could he be so selfish? Three months...that's all Reid was asking for...a three month break and tthen hey could pick right back up where they had left off. It wasn't that unreasonable, was it? And hell, he knew that they would find ways to steal time with each other along the way. Bob and that Mona lady couldn't be everywhere. They'd find time with each other. But Luke?...Luke had been tired of being with people who didn't put him first. Period. Three months? No way. He clearly didn't see the appeal of an undercover relationship.
Of course, since that time both of them had realized that maybe they could have gone about things in a different way, maybe could have seen each other's point of view, come to a compromise, talked it through, made things work....but even as those thoughts had crossed their minds, neither one had been willing to make the first move, and then when the other one didn't try to make amends, they had separately come to the conclusion that maybe it was beyond repair, that even if they cared the other one didn't. Their relationship had been in the early stages, and what little they had built was already torn down, and neither of them was willing to build it back up.
They had avoided each other, aside from meetings and hospital decisions, almost successfully for the last ten months. A couple of chance run-ins in Old Towne, Al's, and the bookstore had proven awkward and painful. One day they had run into each other at Java and even sat down with their coffees to talk, but then a few minutes into their civil conversation, Noah had walked in, said something caustic, and it had all fallen to shit, with Reid leaving the table and telling them that they both needed to grow up. There had even been an unexpected, barreling kiss one night in the parking lot of Yo's when Reid was drunk and his defenses were down. Reid had tasted familiar and strangely safe, and Luke had wanted to take him to his bed and get lost in his blue eyes and warm skin, but in the end, he'd reluctantly put and easily-guided Reid into Casey's car instead, telling himself that going home with a drunk (or any) Reid would be reckless.
They never talked about it...the lingering feelings or the mistakes they both had made...the fact that it didn't need to be like this between them. Instead, they kept telling themselves it was over and that it didn't matter, that they were better off without the other one. Lies, lies, lies.
Reid realized he'd been looking at Luke and not saying anything. He cleared his throat. "Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Snyder?" he asked in a professionally annoyed tone.
Luke didn't take the bait. "Hi, Reid," he said pleasantly as he stepped into the office without an invitation, closing the door behind him. He looked at the clock on the wall: 9:34 pm. "I was hoping you would still be here. I was pretty sure that you would be." He placed two large paper bags on Reid's desk. "How about you put those charts on the credenza? And turn on the lamp."
"I'm working," Reid complained, even as his stomach growled from the delicious aromas coming from the bag.
"You're avoiding, that's what you're doing."
The doctor glared at him. "Listen, Mr. Snyder, the last thing I need today is you psychoanalyzing me and telling me what and why I'm doing things."
"Reid?" Luke ignored what Reid was saying and nodded his head toward the credenza.
Reid let out an exaggerated sigh. "If I'm not ready for that consult on Monday, he lied, it will be your fault, Mr. Snyder." But then he gathered the stack of papers together and put them where Luke had requested and turned on the small lamp on the credenza as well. "What the hell are you doing here, anyw......"
Reid's words faltered when Luke turned off the bright, florescent light overhead, leaving the room in the warm, dimmer glow of the lamp. "Open the blinds," Luke instructed, walking back to Reid's desk, taking off his coat, and reaching into the bag.
Reid watched Luke a moment, pretending not to notice how good Luke looked in a pair of low-slung jeans and tight t-shirt. Had Luke been working out? His chest and shoulders looked broader. He shook his head at himself and turned around to open the blinds. From his office on the fifth floor, he could see the mist that threatened to turn into snow and the city lights. Why was Luke here? When Reid turned back around, two glass mugs sat on each side of the desk. "Luke," Reid said, his voice free of annoyance or aggression, "What are you doing? You don't have to do this."
"I know," Luke said simply, pulling a bottle of Reid's favorite beer out of the bag and opening it.. "Sit," he said, pointing toward Reid's chair and pouring the beer into the mug. Reid nodded slightly and sat down, as Luke opened a root beer and filled his own mug. He then held his mug up toward the doctor. "Happy birthday, Reid."
Reid tried not to roll his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was successful. "C'mon, Luke, you know I don't cele..."
"Listen, Reid," Luke interrupted, "I'm standing here with a drink in my hand, toasting you on your birthday. Why don't you not be an asshole about this and lift your glass to mine and say 'thank you'...?"
"Okay, yeah," Reid said, lifting his mug and clinking it against Luke's. "Um. Thank you."
They both sipped their drinks, and Reid sighed softly, watching Luke lick rootbeer foam from his upper lip. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Luke asked, shaking his head, a small amused smile on his face. Reid couldn't help but smile back just slightly.
Reid sat quietly and watched Luke unpack items onto his desk. Luke placed a styrofoam box in front of him and put his finger on the cover. "One bacon double cheeseburger, no onions, extra cheese, extra pickles, jalapenos and mayo added." Reid's stomach growled in approval. "Seasoned fries," Luke added, reaching into the bag. He placed a small plastic container next to the box. "Chili cheese for your fries, and..." He reached into the bag and pulled out a large handful of ketchup packets. "And thirty seven ketchups."
"Thirty seven?"
"One for each year of your life." Reid chuckled and watched Luke remove another styrofoam box from the bag and place it in front of himself. "Oh, and Henry sends his love."
"I'm sure he does," Reid answered sarcastically as Luke pulled out a small square cake with white icing and blue trim, removed the plastic cover, and placed it on the desk between them. Reid wanted to protest. He didn't celebrate his birthday. He never even told people it was his birthday because he didn't care that it wasn't recognized. He'd made the mistake of talking about birthdays with Luke on that damn flight home from Dallas, when Luke was asking him a million questions to avoid talking about the kiss the night before. Damn it, this wasn't something he liked doing. He had some faint memories of being a child and his mother making a big deal about his birthday, and he remembered that one year his parents had given him a real, honest to goodness microscope for a gift, complete with prepared slides, how excited he'd been...but that was a long time ago, and when he was a young teenager, his uncle, his guardian, never bothered with cake or presents, so rather than being disappointed each year, it was easier to think of it as just another day, like any other. Nothing special. Nothing worth celebrating. However, it seemed like Luke had put thought into this, for whatever reason, so Reid bit his tongue and sat quietly, watching Luke light the small number of candles on the cake.
"I didn't want to put thirty seven candles on, I mean, God, we'd probably set off the ceiling sprinklers in here."
"Screw you, Snyder," Reid dead panned, but there was a hint of teasing and a smile with the words.
"So I used eleven, three plus seven.....and one for good luck." Luke sat down. "Make a wish."
Reid looked uncomfortably at Luke, his skin glowing warm in the flickering candlelight. Their eyes locked briefly, but Reid couldn't hold Luke's gaze. He closed his eyes and felt the wish float across his mind. He opened his eyes, leaned forward, and blew out the candles. He took a deep breath and swallowed, feeling emotion threatening the fortress he'd been maintaining around himself since the moment Luke had walked through the door. He didn't know what to say to Luke, and he couldn't even bring his eyes up to look him. Thankfully, his ex (?) seemed to take pity on him by saying, "C'mon, let's eat before it gets cold."
Reid nodded, not saying anything. He opened the box and smiled. "Fried pickles too?"
"Of course," Luke said, taking a bite of a french fry and smiling. "They're your favorite."
After a few minutes of eating in silence, Reid asked, "Why'd you do this?"
Luke swallowed and wiped his mouth, appearing to think about the question. "Because I knew you would be alone tonight........and I didn't want you to be."
Luke's words made Reid's stomach tighten, and he still found it hard to look at him. He nodded and continued eating. After a few moments he said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Luke replied, taking a sip of his soda.
"No," Reid said, meeting Luke's gaze. "I mean it. Nobody's done this in a long.................just.........thank you."
Luke smiled, and they concentrated on eating. After a few awkward starts, they shared comfortable conversation by staying on safe subjects like the neurology wing, Luke's foundation work, movies, music, and current events. As Reid was finishing his piece of cake and contemplating seconds, Luke slid a small box with a blue bow over to him. "What's this?" Reid asked, automatically sliding the box back toward Luke. Gifts? No. No gifts.
Luke put his hand on top of Reid's. "Just open it."
Reid tried to tamper down the rush of electricity he felt at Luke's touch. He reluctantly pulled his hand away, tugged on the ribbon, and opened the box. He looked at Luke briefly and then picked up a plastic card that read "Four Seasons, New York." He ran his thumb over it and looked at Luke questioningly.
"That's a card key. My grandmother's plane is fueled and ready to go at the airport. The manifest has our names on it."
"Luke, I can't go to..."
"I've taken care of everything. You're off this weekend. Katie packed a bag with some of your clothes, and it's in my car. Dr. Harris and Dr. Garcia are covering your rounds. Your patients are in good hands."
"What are you doing?"
Luke ignored Reid's question. "That card key is for a 52nd-floor suite with city and park views." Reid tried to process what Luke was suggesting. "The hotel has a spa, world class dining, and an extensive room service menu."
"What are you proposing here, Luke?" Reid asked, not sure how to feel about such a forward suggestion.
"Reid, I miss you." Reid nodded but didn't speak, feeling a flicker of hope flair up in his chest. "I think about you every day. I wonder what you're doing and if you ever think about me." Reid suddenly found a spot on the table very interesting and didn't respond. "And maybe this isn't fixable. Maybe it really was doomed before it even started, I mean, hell, we hated each other for the first few months after we met. And how long were we officially together, a mere two weeks?"
"C'mon, Luke...you know it started before then."
"Yeah, Reid, it did. There's been something between us since the first day you walked into Memorial."
Reid nodded, remembering his instant attraction to Luke, the way he'd liked arguing with Luke those first few days and weeks, the way he'd hated the way his body immediately responded everytime Luke was in the room, the way he'd told Noah to keep Luke away from him but then liked it when Luke just couldn't stay out of his orbit, the way Luke was what he saw every freaking night he closed his eyes to sleep, the way he'd fantasized about him and stroked himself off to the images in his mind. "So, we go to this hotel, and.........what?"
"We get away from the noise of Oakdale, away from all the people who think they have a say in how you and I relate or don't relate to each other. For months now, I've had people asking me if I've talked to you, when we're going to make up, and then some people I know are all 'good riddance' about it. I'm sure you've got Katie all over you about it every other day, and Henry...I've heard the two of you have been hanging out, and Henry's none too shy about making his opinion known. And when I saw you at the bar a couple of months ago, you were with people from work, so I know you have friends, Reid, and I'm sure they want to give you advice because, well, this is Oakdale, and everybody's in each other's business." Reid nodded. Just last week, Katie and Hank had double teamed him and went on and on about Luke, about him not dating anyone, about him not even speaking to Noah anymore. "But screw them, Reid. It's none of their business. It's about us. Not them. So, let's go away, where the only voices we hear are yours and mine. And then we find out if there's something here worth salvaging."
"How do we do that?"
Luke shrugged. "I don't know...talk? Fuck?" Reid's eyebrows shot up. "Scream? Throw things? I have no idea, but.....I know that we never talked it through. We just stubbornly let it go."
"And if it doesn't work?" Reid asked, his hand wrapping around Luke's wrist, his fingers caressing the soft skin on the underside.
Luke shivered, visibly affected by Reid's touch and licked his lips. "Well, then...I guess we'll know."
"We were..." Reid shook his head. "...we were pretty terrible with each other. I don't know if I want to go through that again."
"Well, that's honest....but if we can't make things work, then at least we'd have some closure finally. If we really are done with each other, I need that. Because right now, talking to you, sharing a meal with you, it doesn't feel like we're finished.................I went out with a guy a few weeks ago," Luke revealed. "Dinner and a movie. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole time."
"Food poisoning?" Reid asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.
"Reid."
Reid let out an awkward chuckle. "I was at a bar a couple of months ago......I don't know.....I was just looking for..." Reid rolled his eyes and then shook his head. "Some male company. I was talking to this guy, and he leaned in to kiss me, just out of the blue. I wanted to punch him in the throat."
Luke laughed nervously. "Why? Was he ugly?"
"No, he was hot."
"So, then, what was the problem?"
"He wasn't you."
"Oh," Luke answered, tugging on his ear. "Did he kiss you?" he asked shyly.
"No, I did the duck and weave and got the hell out of there unscathed." Both men laughed as Reid stood, went around to the other side of his desk, and pulled Luke up into a hug. He kissed his temple. "I miss you too...and I do...........I think about you....all the fucking time." He felt emotion prickling his eyes, so he closed them. Luke was warm and felt like home, and Reid didn't know what to do with that, so he broke the embrace and stepped back. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, his thumb tapping against his thigh.
"No." Luke smiled at Reid's hand twitching nervously at his side. "I realize that this could end in disaster. You're right. We haven't treated each other well in the past year. That's why I got a suite. It's a big enough hotel room that we can get away from each other if we need to, and there's always the city. I'm pretty sure New York is big enough to get lost in." He smiled, but Reid just looked terrified, so Luke slipped his hand into Reid's to stop its movement. "There was a moment, when we first started acting on our feelings...you asked me how you made me feel...at your apartment, the day we returned from Dallas. Do you remember that?" Reid nodded. "I didn't answer you at the time because I was scared to death of just how affected I was by you. Did you know that? You'd kissed me the day before, and my mind had played with that the entire night and on the plane ride back, and you were standing so close to me. You smelled good...you were wearing that tight shirt. Our bodies were so close, and you were leaning into me. It was like you were daring me not to touch you, and you were asking me how you made me feel. I swear, if your pager hadn't gone off, and I had allowed myself to touch you....God." Luke swallowed hard and licked his lips. You made me feel free for the first time in my life. Un-judged." He grabbed the sides of Reid's head and held him there, looking into his eyes. "And strong...God, I felt strong...and powerful. Infuriated. Intoxicated. Reckless and safe at the same time." Luke leaned forward and kissed Reid gently on the mouth. "And wanted, Reid." He ran his thumb over Reid's lips. "You made me feel wanted...............needed.........the way you looked at me......I was with someone for years who never looked at me like that...........with so much heat.....................Nobody else has ever made me feel like that, and I'm scared to death that nobody else ever will."
"Luke," Reid whispered, pulling Luke's mouth to his and kissing him deeply and murmurring, "I still want you," against Luke's lips when the kiss broke. "I want all of you."
"Then come to New York with me, and let's figure this out." Reid stepped back, still looking unsure. "It's okay, Reid. I'm scared too."
"I'm not scared," Reid said grimacing, but then he looked down at the floor while playing with his eyebrow and tonguing the inside of his cheek. After a moment he looked back up at Luke and pursed his lips, nodding in acknowledgement.
"I've changed a lot in the past ten months."
"Yeah, I noticed. You look really good."
Luke smiled, his cheeks flushing. "No, I mean...I've..............I'm not that petulant asshole I was when I demanded you quit your job, for me." He rolled his eyes. "I got my own place six months ago. It's close to Landon Park. I........I feel a lot more settled....Independent, I guess......" Luke shook his head. "I got back together with Noah for like a week at the beginning; I don't even know why, other than I was scared to be alone. But I realized it was wrong immediately and broke it off for good. He didn't take it well, kept badgering me for awhile, but I haven't seen him in a good four months now. I heard he finally moved to LA......he never even said goodbye. I've been alone for almost a year, and...I don't know...but I think I needed that. I jumped straight from a terribly dysfunctional long term relationship with him into something new with you, and I never really settled into myself, ya know?....I had a lot of baggage, and I think that some of my reactions in regards to you were nothing but a remnant of old esteem issues I had because of him. It wasn't fair to you, and because of that we probably never stood a chance. I've been seeing a therapist."
Reid smiled. "That's where all this self-realiztion is coming from, huh?"
"I'm selling the shipping company. The work I've been doing there is so not me. We already have some interested parties. I want to concentrate on helping people. I'm going to funnel most of the money into the foundation, but I'm also going to use it to go back to college. I enrolled in three classes. I want to get my degree. I'm going to write, and I want to be a teacher."
Reid grinned. "You've been busy, Mr. Snyder."
Luke let out a breath that he felt like he'd been holding for almost a year. There had been a time when Reid calling him by his surname had been a way to get under his skin, a way to put distance between them, a way to keep Luke away, but now, the way it rolled playfully off his tongue, it felt familiar and comfortable.
"Yes, I have, Dr. Oliver..." Luke said back, equally as playful in tone.
Reid smiled and started to pull Luke toward him, but then he stopped and looked nervous again.
"It's okay, Reid," Luke said, stepping into Reid's personal space. "You can say 'no.'"
"No, uh yeah...I uh..........I really don't think I can say no."
Luke smiled. "Good. Then I guess we're going to New York. Tonight."
Reid ran a hand over his face and smiled softly. Spontanaity really wasn't his thing, but God, he wanted this. He wanted to find his way back to Luke. "Yeah. Tonight." Tonight. He could see unshed tears pooling in Luke's eyes, so he wrapped his arms around him because if he saw Luke cry, he wasn't sure he could keep from crying himself. He felt Luke's face immediately tuck into his neck, and they fit so perfectly, with their bodies pressed together, that it felt like they were custom made for each other.
"I'm sorry," Luke said against Reid's skin. "About all of the shit that happened between us."
Reid put his hand on the back of Luke's neck. "I'm sorry too. I should have fought harder for you." Reid pulled back and kissed Luke gently on the lips. "Let's get out of here."
They went to New York and talked and did lots of other stuff in every room of the suite, got back together, and lived happily ever after. The end. :)