dpracket

He could hear Reid's voice before he even rounded the corner, getting louder and higher pitched.  As he entered the entrance to the neuro unit, he saw Chris with a red face and his hands balled into fists at his side.  "I told you to stay out of it," he yelled, his face close to Reid's.

"You shouldn't be here, Chris," Reid countered.  "I'm going to keep saying it until you hear it, you selfish bastard!"

Luke quickly scanned the room, nurses and patient family members looking on in stunned silence.  Reid's eyes met his for a brief moment before he returned his attention to Chris.  "As your chief of staff, I'm ordering you to go home."

"You're not the Chief of Staff," Chris argued.  "My father is still in charge, at least for the next few months."

"And he's not here right now.  Someone has got to have some fucking sense around here.  You need to leave the hospital!"

A nurse gasped from a few feet way.

Luke walked toward Reid, and gently tugged him by the crook of his elbow.  "C'mon...you need to stop."  He turned to Chris.  "Both of you."

Reid pulled his arm out of Luke's hold, but Luke didn't give up, tugging his arm again.

"Cut it out," Reid complained, pulling his arm away.

"Reid!" Luke said forcefully but in a low voice, and Reid finally stepped back from Chris.  He looked around at the people in the room and nodded.  "Yeah, ok...yeah."  He let Luke lead him away, towards the hallway to his office, looking back over his shoulder briefly and loudly saying, "Please, Dr. Hughes, go home."

They didn't speak as they walked to Reid's office.  Luke tried to put his arm around Reid's shoulders, but Reid pushed him away gently, shaking his head.

Reid unlocked the door and held it open for Luke, his breath coming out in bull-like pants.  He followed Luke into the interior of his office, locked the door, and slammed his own back against it, growling.  "Fucking Doogie!"  He took off his labcoat, frustrated when his arm got caught briefly, and then threw it at the wall.

Luke approached him and put his arms on Reid's biceps, squeezing gently.  Reid wouldn't look at him, and Luke could see the muscles in his jaw twitching.

Luke didn't say anything and instead moved his right hand to the side of Reid's neck, while is right hand continued to massage his arm and shoulder.  Reid's breathing contined to be erratic.

Finally, Luke moved his hands to gently hold Reid's head and waited patiently for his lover to look at him.  When he finally did, his eyes were watery.  Luke nodded his head to let Reid know that he understood his frustration and his concern. Then he leaned forward and kissed him softly.  Reid didn't kiss back, but when Luke pulled back, Reid held his eyes, his breath slowing.  Luke kissed him again before pulling back, feeling the tension in Reid's body subsiding.  He leaned forward again, and this time Reid met him halfway, kissing Luke deeply before breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead against Luke's.

"Better?"

Reid nodded, and if it had been anyone except Luke, they would have missed it.  Reid moved his hands to his boyfriend's hips, sighed, and slumped back against the door, pulling Luke with him.  He rested his forehead on Luke's shoulder, his breathing now normal, as Luke played with the curl behind his right ear.

"I don't know what he's thinking," Reid said softly.  "It hasn't even been five months, and he has the immune system of a newborn.  Hospitals are crawling with germs.  We don't advertise that, but shit...he's a doctor.  He knows this is no place for him right now.  He needs to take care of himself."

Luke smiled at Reid's concern, though he knew that his worries were rooted in his love of Katie, rather than his weird friendship/enemy relationship with his colleague.

"Somebody died to give him that heart.  I don't want him to squander it by being an idiot."

Luke chuckled.  "It's probably very hard for him to be away from it.  I can't imagine you not being able to perform surgery and help people.   You love it, and it drives you.  I'm not making excuses for him, but it might help you to understand it more if you consider that maybe he's struggling to find some normalcy in this new life of his.  I think you can relate to that."

"He's not much good to his patients if he's dead," Reid sighed.

"No..."

"And he's not much good to Katie if he's dead either. He's being selfish.  I love being a doctor Luke, but...I don't know...........I don't think I'd do anything that would risk me being apart from you. Maybe that's selfish too."

Luke kissed the side of Reid's head.  "Not selfish.....in fact, it's incredibly sweet."  Reid rolled his eyes and smiled.  "Consider also...and I know this from experience...transplants are  a huge physical burden, but there is a lot that goes on that's not physical.  There's guilt.  There's anxiety.  Depression too.  It's a new existence.  Even if it feels like it sometimes, Chris is not living to annoy you.  He's dealing with a lot."

Reid nodded.  "You're right."  He kissed Luke softly.  "I'll try talking him to again...believe it or not that conversation started out civially in the break room."  He kissed Luke again.  "Thanks.  I don't know how you do it, but you always find a way to diffuse me."

"It's one of my many talents."  Luke smiled cheekily.

Reid stood up straight and cleared his throat.  "And since you brought it up..."  He reached down and took Luke's hand.  "I do love being a doctor.  That's why before Bob went on vacation, I told him that I don't want to be chief of staff."  Luke smiled.  "Why are you smiling?  I thought you'd be disappointed."

"I never thought it was a good idea," Luke admitted sheepishly.

Reid chuckled.  "But what about all that coaching and refining of my freaking people skills?" Reid asked with a smile.

"I thought it was what you wanted, so I was being a supportive boyfriend."  Luke pushed at Reid's shoulder playfully.

"I thought I wanted it too, but in the past few months, watching this wing coming alive, THIS is what I want.  It's my kingdom, and I'm going to rule it."

"It's good to be the king." Luke laughed.

"Yes it is," Reid agreed in a deep voice, as he ran a finger along Luke's jaw.

"Are you done ruling here today?  How about we go home..."

Reid tweaked Luke's chin.  "I love how you call my place home."  He walked over to his lab coat, picked it up, and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

"Reid, I haven't slept in my own bed in 19 nights."

"That many?"

"Yes, my mother reminded me of it on the phone just this morning..."

"Maybe we need to talk about..."  Reid trailed off and smiled, his eyes shiny.

"What?"  Luke asked.

Reid shook his head.  "I just never thought..."  He shook his head again, still smiling.  "Just...let's think about it and make some plans...  Luke smiled and squeezed Reid's hip.  "But in the meantime," Reid said, putting his arm around Luke's shoulder before opening the office door and turning off the lights.  He kissed the side of Luke's head.  "Let's make it 20..."

"Are you sure this is going to work, Dr. O?"

Reid looked at the sixteen bottles of Diet Coke sitting in various spots on the concrete patio in the back yard.  "I think so, buddy."

Reid popped a piece of candy into his mouth and offered the roll to Ethan, who took a piece of candy and smiled.  "It's going to explode like a volcano!" Ethan exclaimed, bouncing excitedly.  "How does it work?"

Reid continued to unroll the candies from their wrappers, placing them in a bowl on the patio table.  He handed another candy to Ethan.  "Look at the candy.  It's shell is porous, which means that it has a lot of very tiny holes in it.  Ya know how when you shake a bottle of Coke, it makes a lot of bubbles?"  Ethan nodded, popping the candy into his mouth.  "That's because there is carbon dioxide in the Coke.  Well, the ingredients in the candy react with the carbon dioxide, and those little holes on the candy allow bubbles to form rapidly.  It happens so fast that it creates pressure within the bottle, and the foam comes flying out like a geyser."

"Cool!  I can't wait.  This is gonna be awesome!"

"Yes, it is,"  Reid said laughing.  "We're using Diet Coke rather than regular sugar soda because aspartame lowers the surface tension of the liquid much more than sugar, which allows the process to happen faster."  Ethan looked at him with a furrowed brow.  Reid shook his head.  "Nevermind...that's not important really, but do you know what is important?"

"What?" Ethan asked with enthusiasm.

"That you wear these," Reid answered, picking up a pair of safety goggles off of the table.  He put the elastic strap over Ethan's head and adjusted the goggles until they fit snugly.  "Promise me you won't take these off until I say it's okay.  Got it, E Man?"

"Got it, Dr. O!"  Ethan saluted Reid and giggled.  "Are you going to wear some too?"

"Of course," Reid said picking up the larger pair of goggles off the table.  "Safety first, young man."

"Safety first," Ethan repeated.  "You look funny in those."

"You look funny," Reid countered to Ethan's delight.

Reid toed off his shoes and peeled off his socks.  "Better take your shoes off," Reid suggested.  "I don't want you mom to be mad at us."

"Oh, she's gonna be mad at us alright," Ethan said giggling and sitting down to remove his shoes.  "This is gonna make a big mess."

"Nah..." Reid said, smiling.  "It's just a little bit of soda......and we'll spray it down with the hose afterwards."

"It's a lot of Coke, but you're gonna tell her it was your idea, right?" Ethan asked, looking slightly worried.

"Of course.  It was my idea."

Ethan smiled again.  "Cool."

Reid picked up both their pairs of shoes and threw them inside the door to the kitchen.  After closing the door, he asked, "You ready?"

"Ready!" Ethan exclaimed.

Reid put his hands on Ethan's shoulders and guided him over to where he wanted him to stand.  "Okay.  You stand here for maximum saturation."

"What's that mean?"

"This is where you'll get the most wet."

Ethan jumped and pumped his fist in the air.  "Yeah!"

"Remember to keep those goggles on, 'k?"

"Yup."

Reid picked up the bowl of mentos off the table and went over to the first bottle.  He picked up a handful of candy.  "You sure you want to do this?" he asked teasingly.

"Dr. O!"

"Okay, okay..." Reid said laughing.  "Ready?  One......two.........THREE!"  Reid dropped a few candies into the first bottle before hurrying to the next one.  He heard Ethan squeal and looked back to see the first bottle already spewing sweet, brown foam into the air.  Reid made his way around the patio, dropping candy into each bottle before kneeling down next to Ethan while they both got doused in soda.  Reid looked up in the air and opened his mouth to catch some of the soda in it, and Ethan followed suit, laughing and jumping around.  When the last bottle stopped foaming, Ethan exclaimed, "That was AWESOME!!!  Let's do it again!  Can we?  Can we?"

Reid laughed.  "We don't have any more soda, but maybe we can do it again another day."

"When Luke is here?"  Ethan asked.  "This is fun."

Reid smiled.  "Yeah, I think he'd like this."

As if on command, Luke exited the back door of the house.  "Oh my God.  What have you two gotten yourselves into?" he asked, laughing.

"Dr. O made Coke volcanoes!"  Ethan ran up to Luke and gave him a sweet, wet hug.

Luke laughed, peeling Ethan's arms from around him.  "You're soaked."

Ethan licked his own arm.  "I taste like Coke!  We even drank some.  It was like Coke rain."

"Hey, Eth" Reid said, pulling his goggles off.  "Why don't you go to the side of the house and get the hose?  We need to wash down the patio before your mom gets home, or she might never let me babysit you again."

"I'm not a baby," Ethan protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Reid said, playfully bumping Ethan's chin with his fist.  "She might not let us hang out again."

"That would suck," Ethan replied before clamping his hand over his mouth.  "Stink!  It would stink!  Don't tell mom I said that, Luke!"

Luke smiled.  "You secret is safe with me.  Go get the hose, okay?"

"Okay," Ethan said, running off to the side of the house.

Luke turned to Reid and kissed him, running his tongue over his own lips as he pulled away.  "Mmmm.  You're sweet."

"And sticky," Reid replied in a deep voice, kissing Luke again, lingering a moment or two before pulling back.

"Thanks for staying with him on such short notice.  I couldn't get away from the office, and Mom was freaking out because Mrs. Huggins was out of town."  Luke looked around at all of the now empty two-liter Diet Coke bottles.  "You are like a mad scientist with this stuff."  He laughed and turned back to Reid.

"Reid Mc-Fly, the Science Guy."

"And a dork!" Luke continued.  He put his hand out and brushed Reid's wet hair off his forehead.  "You're a mess...........as if Ethan doesn't already idolize you enough, given that you touch brains and all, now you do this?  He'll never want Mrs. Huggins to babysit him again."

"I aim to please," he said, smacking Luke on the butt before starting to pick up the empty soda bottles.

Ethan came barreling around the corner with the hose in his hand.  "Can I spray you, Dr. O?  Please?"

"I think you should spray Luke instead," Reid replied facetiously.

"Oh no, you don't!" Luke said, smiling.  "I am perfectly clean, and..."

"Get him!" Reid exclaimed, dropping the bottles in arms and wrapping his arms around Luke so that he couldn't move.

Ethan laughed and squeezed the sprayer on the hose.

**************************************

Luke grumbled.

"I know, Mr. Snyder, but it's important that I monitor your vitals every couple of hours.  I'm sorry, hon.  You can go back to sleep as soon as I'm through."

"Thirsty," Reid heard Luke croak out, and he raised his head, blinking sleep out of his own eyes.

"Your fever has increased," Sandra said as Reid saw the realization on Luke's face.

"Reid?  Reid?!"  Luke's voice was thick, and he sounded surprised and panicked at the same time.  "Is that you?"

Reid stood up and brushed his hand over Luke's fevered head to calm him.  "Yeah, it's me."  He looked up at the monitor and saw that Luke's heart rate was elevated.  "It's okay, Luke......you need to calm down.  Relax, okay?"

"Reid?!!"

Reid looked at Sandra.  "Sweetie, sit back," she instructed, putting a hand on Luke's shoulder.  "You're okay.  Dr. Oliver is here to see you, but you have to stay calm."

Luke shook his head violently.

"Mr. Snyder!" Reid said in a commanding voice.  Luke sucked in a breath and then covered his eyes.  When he lowered his hands, Reid could see tears there.  "Luke..."  He reached forward, wrapping his hand around Luke's forearm.  He looked at Sandra.  "He's on fire."

She nodded.  "Mr. Snyder, let's remove your gown.  We need to reduce your temperature."  She hit the call button near the bed.

"Reid," Luke repeated, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Reid's shirt.  "Reid..."  He pulled himself to a prone position and pulled at Reid's shirt with his other hand as well.

"Cut it out, Luke," Reid said, trying to remove Luke's hands.

"Reid, please..."  Luke held on tighter, and Reid could feel the waves of heat rolling off of him.

"It's the fever," the nurse said.  "It's making him agitated.  He's not thinking clearly."

"YES?" a crackly voice on the Intercom sounded.

"Deanne, I need the sedative Dr. Mack prescribed, and we need some wet towels.  Also, check his chart and see if he can have Ibuprofen again.  If so, bring it."

"Sure thing," the voice answered.

Reid managed to remove one of Luke's hands from the grip on his shirt, but the other one still held on.  Sandra put her hand on Luke's cheek and turned his face toward her.  "Mr. Snyder, hon...please, let go of Dr. Oliver.  You're making him uncomfortable."  Luke looked back to Reid, and Reid could hear the labored puffs of air coming out of Luke's nose.  Luke relaxed his hold, but not completely.  "That's it, sweetie.  You're okay," the kind nurse said putting her hand behind his back and easing him down.  "That's good.  You're okay.  That's right, lay back."  Luke nodded, clarity coming to his eyes, and he finally released Reid's shirt.  "That's good.  Thank you."  Sandra untied Luke's gown behind his neck.  "We're going to take this gown off of you, okay?  Your fever is too high.  We're going to get it down, and then you'll feel more like yourself, okay?"

Luke nodded weakly.  "Reid..."

Reid put his hand on Luke's arm.  "Yeah.  I'm here. You're okay, Luke."

"Reid.....I'm sorry...."

Reid could see the tears welling in Luke's eyes.

Reid shook his head.  "There's nothing to apologize for.  C'mon, let's get this gown off so we can work on getting the fever down."  He looked at the nurse and they both tugged on Luke's gown and pulled it off.  Reid sucked in a breath.  Luke was thinner than Reid had even thought, and he had a dark bruise on his side, near his transplant scar.  "Luke.  You're...........how'd you get the bruise?"

"Fight," Luke said, his eyes closing.  "I won."  He chuckled weakly.  "Kicked that fucker's ass."  Reid didn't bother asking who Luke was talking about.  His eyes were too busy taking in the large dragon tattoo on Luke's shoulder and then lowering to see a number of small cuts on Luke's abdomen.  His eyes met the Sandra's.  Luke cuts himself.  What the hell happened to him out there?

Just then a second nurse walked into the room and handed a syringe to Sandra.  "Sedative."

Sandra put the syringe in her pocket.  "He's okay now.  We'll hold off," she said nodding to Luke, who now had his eyes closed and was breathing evenly.  "Deanne, this is Dr. Oliver.  He's a friend of the patient."

Deanne nodded.  "Hello, Doctor.  Long time no see.  I used to work in your department."

Reid nodded, even though he didn't remember her.  Maybe she looked familiar, he thought.  He watched her inject what he assumed was additional Ibuprofen into Luke's IV line.  "Don't hold my prior behavior against me," he tried to joke, knowing that if she worked his department he'd probably been an ass to her at one time or another.

She smiled.

Both nurses began wiping Luke's chest, torso, neck, shoulders, and face with the wet towels.  Reid looked down and realized he was now holding Luke's hand.  He knew that he should probably move out of their way, but he couldn't.  He didn't want to let go.  Luke.  "What's his diagnosis?"  Sandra looked at him.  "I can go look it up on the hospital intranet," Reid argued, knowing that the nurse didn't want to violate patient confidentiality.

"Severe UTI, and it has affected his kidney," Deanne answered instead.  "He should be okay.  His body's fighting it hard."

Reid nodded.

After thirty mintues, Sandra ran a thermometer across Luke's forehead.  "101.3.  That's better, Mr. Snyder."

Reid looked at Luke who was sound asleep.  The nurses gathered the wet towels, and Deanne left the room.  Reid rubbed his eyes.  "You staying here for awhile?" Sandra asked him.

"Yeah."

"I'm gong to leave him uncovered to let the additional heat escape.  If he wakes up and is cold or shivering, he can have a light sheet.  No blanket."

Reid nodded, having no desire to snark that he was a doctor and he knew that.  He was internally thankful to the nurses for getting Luke's fever down to a manageable level.

After Sandra left the room, Reid sat in the chair on Luke's left side.  His eyes ran over Luke, trying to take in each and every hint of what he'd been through since he'd last seen him.  Where was Noah?  Were they still together?  Was Luke drinking?  Doing drugs?  Why was Luke self harming?  Reid pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shaky breath that alarmed him.  Why did he care about this kid so much? They had not even been officially together six weeks when Luke dropped the bomb that he was moving to LA.  He'd known Luke all of seven months.  He'd now been away from him more than double the time he had even known him.   The blonde had made him fall in love with him and then disappeared.  Reid should hate him.  He wanted to hate him.  But when he looked at Luke lying there sick and alone, Reid felt fiercely protective.  And sad.  And angry at everything and anything that had ever hurt Luke.

Reid sighed and tugged the sheet down just to Luke's upper thigh and wasn't surprised to see more small cut marks there.  "Jesus, Luke..." he whispered.  He then put his chin on the mattress and gently leaned his forehead against Luke's tattooed shoulder.   He was exhausted, and it only took a couple of minutes for him to fall asleep.

************************************

Reid startled awake, sitting up quickly, his eyes landing on Sandra, who was raising the sheet up over Luke's torso.  "His fever broke," she whispered.

"Good," Reid said, stretching.  He placed his hand on Luke's sweaty forehead softly and nodded, confirming the fact for himself.

"Would you like a pillow and blanket for the couch?" Sandra asked.

Reid looked at his watch.  2:37.  "No, uh....no.  I need to get home."

"Very well.  Don't worry, we'll keep a close eye on him tonight."  Reid nodded.  "Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight...and uh,....thank you."  Sandra smiled and left the room.

Reid gently ran his hand over Luke's head.  "Goodnight, Mr. Snyder."  He leaned down and pressed his lip to Luke's forehead.

***************************************

Reid entered the apartment and went straight to the refrigerator.  He filled a glass of water from the dispenser on the door and drank it down before filling it up again.  He eyed the leftovers in the fridge and thought about making a plate, but his eyes burned, and the need for sleep won out over his need for food.  He walked to his bedroom with the glass in hand, turning off the light in the living room.  He entered his dark bedroom and put the glass of water on the nightstand.  He shucked his clothes, leaving them all on the floor, and then went to the attached bathroom to pee.  When he returned, he climbed into bed and spooned up against the form sleeping there.  He felt a hand reach back and run through his hair.  "Everything okay?" a voice asked, sleepily.

Reid kissed the side of his boyfriend's head.  "Yeah, go back to sleep."  He wrapped his arm around the man sleeping next to him and stared into the darkness.

"He's great," Luke said, as Reid walked him to the apartment elevator.

"Yeah, he is."

"And cute," Luke added.  Reid rolled his eyes.  "And that accent!"

Reid chuckled.  "Yeah."

"And he's a professor? You hit the jackpot.  You get to act out all those dirty teacher fantasies," Luke teased.  Reid shook his head and smiled.  "How long have you been together?"

"Almost a year.  He moved in a four months ago.  It was a little quick, but his lease was up, and I don't know...it just felt right."

Luke took a deep breath.  "I'm happy for you, Reid."  The elevator chimed.  "Well...thank Greg again for dinner."

"Luke," Reid said, reaching out and tugging on Luke's arm.  "Wait.  How was rehab?"

Luke shrugged.  "Ya know........they pull out all of your demons and make you talk to them."

"Are you clean?"

Luke bristled.  "Reid.  It's been twenty four hours.  Are you asking if I'm using already?  Do I seem fucking high to you?  Drunk?"

"No, of course not.  That's not what I meant," Reid said shaking his head, still getting used to a Luke who cursed freely.  "Relax.  I'm not accusing you of anything.  I just........how do you know if it worked?"

Luke huffed out an irritated chuckle.  "It didn't, at least not in the way you want me to tell you it worked.  I'll always want to drink.  Every day, for the rest of my life, even on the good days."

"And on the bad days?"

Luke shook his head.  "On the bad days, I'll have to fight myself for my own life, but that's nothing new.  I've been doing this for years."

"You can do it.  You're strong."

"No, I'm really not.  You don't know me, Reid.  You don't know a thing about me."

Reid tried not to let Luke know that his words hurt but then again, maybe he didn't know Luke afterall.   "Is today a good day or a bad day?" he asked.

Luke laughed.  "Your fucking ego."  Reid's brow knotted in confusion.  "I can handle the fact that you've moved on, doctor."  Reid shook his head.  That's not what he meant at all.  "Don't worry.  I'm not going to go home and off  myself over the fact that you have a hot, British boyfriend.........who is a scholar and has mad skills in the kitchen."

"Welsh."

"What?"

"He's Welsh, not British," Reid corrected Luke.  "He's from Wales.  For some reason he gets all bent out of shape about being called British, which I don't understand, Wales is part of the United Kingdom.  It's some weird rivalry thing or something...sort of like Houston and Dallas..."  Reid realized he was babbling and closed his mouth.

Luke softened and smiled.  "Now I know why you call him Harry, even though his name is Greg.  You and the nicknames..."  He shook his head.

"Prince Harry's the hot one."

Luke laughed.  He then rolled his lips in and nodded. "We probably shouldn't see each other," he said, rather abruptly.  Reid agreed, but he didn't say anything.  "I think it will be easier for both of us.  And....as hospitable as your boyfriend was this evening, I don't think he'd be too happy if you were hanging around with me."

"We're bound to run into each other here in this tiny burg."

Luke nodded again.  "We can be cordial, but...."  Luke pressed the button to retrieve the elevator again.

"Luke?"

"Hmm?"

"If things are ever bad for you..."

"I'm going to be fine," Luke reassured him.  "I've got plans.  You don't need to worry about me."

Reid was struck by the hollowness of Luke's words.  He wrapped his hand around Luke's wrist.  "I don't think I'd survive it if something happened to you, okay?  Promise me if things get bad, you'll ask for help."

"From you?"

"From anyone."

The elevator chimed again.  Luke leaned forward and kissed Reid on the cheek.  "Goodbye, Reid."

************************************************

Reid re-entered the apartment, laid down on the couch, and put his head on a pillow in Greg's lap, unable to shake the uneasy feeling he had about Luke.  He swore he could still feel the scratch of Luke's facial hair against his cheek where he had kissed him.

"He seems nice," Greg said, resting his hand on Reid's chest.

Reid nodded.  "Thanks for being so cool about him just showing up here.  I don't know what I would have done if the roles were reversed."

"You probably would have been a snarky asshole," Greg said, smiling and moving his hand to play with the curl of hair behind Reid's ear.  "He's good looking,"

"He said the same thing about you."

"And young," Greg continued, his voice low.  "And he didn't know I existed before walking through the door..."

Reid shook his head.  "The conversation didn't come around to it."  Greg sighed.  "Seriously," Reid said, sitting up.  He put his hand on the back of Greg's neck.  "That first night, he was sick, and then the second time I saw him, we didn't talk for long before he was asking me to leave."

"You would have told him?" Greg asked, sounding much too unsure for Reid's comfort.

"Of course I would have told him!  I thought you trusted me."

"I did." Greg insisted, shrugging Reid's hand off of him.  "I mean, I do! But he's incredibly attractive, and he's funny, and I can see why you like him."

"Liked him.  And have you looked in the mirror?"  He took Greg's face in his hands and ran his thumb over his bottom lip.  "You're not exactly struggling in the looks department either."  He kissed Greg softly on the lips.  Greg rolled his eyes but smiled at the compliment.  "And we're not going to see each other.  So, this is a non-issue, ok?"  Greg nodded.  "I'm going to bed.  You coming, Prince Harry?" Reid asked as he stood up off of the couch.  He put his hand out to Greg, but Greg picked up the remote instead.

"No.  I'm going to watch TV for awhile."

*************************************************************

Over the next few weeks, Reid and Luke didn't see each other like they agreed, except for the one day that Reid had seen Luke in the check out line at the grocery store, but Luke didn't see him.  Reid had ducked behind a display, his heart beating wildly, and he had waited until Luke exited the store before resuming his shopping.

Reid tried not to think about Luke or wonder how he was doing, but every now and then when his mind was idle, Luke had a way of sneaking into Reid's thoughts.  When this happened, Reid would let his mind's eye linger on Luke for awhile, whether it was in the form of concern, fantasy, or a memory, but after a few moments, he would shove his thoughts back behind a curtain of indifference and mentally scold himself for letting his mind go there.

Things were good with work and with Greg, and the subject of Luke did not come up again until a Tuesday night in early May when Reid and Greg were sitting at a patio table at the River Dog Cafe, listening to live music while enjoying burgers and beer.   Reid felt his phone buzz in his pocket.  He brushed a napkin across his mouth and retrieved his phone.  A quick glance at the screen told him it was Holden.  He let the phone go to voice mail, but then it vibrated again a few seconds later.  Reid sighed and then leaned over and spoke close to Greg's ear to be heard over the music.  He excused himself and went to the bathroom, where he pulled the phone out of his pocket and dialed Holden's number.

"Reid."

"Yeah."

"We can't find Luke."

"And you're calling me why...?"

"Have you seen him?"

"No.  I haven't seen him in over a month.  How long has he been missing?"

"Since around2:30."

Reid looked at his watch and guffawed.  "Three and a half hours is hardly a span of time that would require you to send out the bloodhounds.  He's a grown man.  I'm sure he's fine."

"He got a call from Noah this morning, and then he disappeared this afternoon without telling anyone where he was going.  He might have been upset, or maybe he was kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?  Are you serious?"  Reid asked, shaking his head at Holden's ridiculousness.

"It happens.  His car is here at the house.  We've checked all the bars and clubs in the area...at the hospital.  He's nowhere."

"Listen, Mr. Snyder, I'm going to get back to dinner.  I'm sure he'll show up.  Maybe he went for a walk.  He could be at the Java...or eating dinner.   Maybe he was picked up by a friend.  Have you checked with that Hughes kid?"

"Casey hasn't lived here in over a year now.  He and Allison moved to Carbondale so that Allison could attend the University of..."

"Please, I don't need everyone's life story," Reid interrupted.  "I've gotta go."

"You're  not going to help us find him?" Holden asked.

"He's not my problem.  And maybe rather than running around town looking for him, you should chill the hell out and have confidence in him.  Maybe he found someone to spend time with."  Reid didn't want to contemplate why that possibility made his chest feel tight.  "If he doesn't show up by morning, then you can freak out and alert the authorities."

"Oakdale PD is already looking for him."

"Of course they are............so you don't need my help.  Good luck...if you'll excuse me, my food is getting cold."

***********************************************************
Reid returned to the table and squeezed Greg's shoulder as he sat down.  "Sorry about that."

"Was it the hospital?"

"No, it was um........nevermind.  It's not important."

"You're not going to tell me who called?" Greg asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"If you really have to know, it was Luke's father.  He can't find him, and he was wondering if I'd seen him."  Reid shook his head, hoping to convey that he dismissed Holden's concern.  "I told him that I hadn't seen him in weeks."  Reid looked at the small, now empty stage.  "Where did the band go?"

"He's missing?"

"No.  No, he's not missing...you've gotta understand his family...they are all in each other's business all the time, and if someone is unaccounted for for more than five minutes, they're putting out an APB.  This town is unreasonably worried about kidnappings for some reason."

"How long since they've seen him?"

"Mid afternoon."  Greg chuckled.  "See?  They're crazy.  I'm sure he's fine."  But even as he said the words, something in the pit of Reid's stomach didn't feel right.  Nonetheless, he picked up his double bacon cheeseburger and took a bite, while glancing over Greg's shoulder at the river that ran by the restaurant. River.  Water. Reid put the burger down and wiped his mouth with a napkin.  "I know where he is..."  He shook his head.  That's the first place they should have checked.  Reid took his phone out to text Holden but then decided not to and put it back in his pocket.  He quietly concentrated on his food.

"You can go," Greg said before finishing off his beer.  "Both of our cars are here."  Reid shook his head and took a french fry off Greg's plate.  "You know you want to go find him."

"I told you, he's fine.  And I don't care anyway."

"Bullshit."  Greg signaled the server and pointed at his own beer glass.

Reid looked at his watch.  "Are you mad or something?" he asked, reaching for Greg's hand on the table.

Greg pulled his hand away and put it in his lap.  "No."

Reid wasn't sure he believed him.  "Okay..."

"Seriously, doc...go find him."

"You'd be okay with that?" Reid asked, taking another sip of his drink.

"It's better than you sitting here, preoccupied."

God, Reid couldn't believe he was about to do this.  "Okay...but I won't be late.  I promise."

"I won't wait up," Greg said.  His voice sounded light, almost teasing, but his mouth was in a straight line, and Reid couldn't read his eyes.

Reid threw three twenty dollar bills onto the table and stood up.  "Thanks."  He squeezed Greg's shoulder and looked toward the bar area.  "That's two beers.  If you have anymore, call a cab, okay?"  Reid knew that the third drink is the one that always got Greg buzzy.   "Or call me.  I shouldn't be long."

Greg saluted Reid, his eyes straight forward, watching the band return to the small stage.  Reid leaned down to kiss Greg goodbye, and as their lips touched, Greg grabbed the back of Reid's head and shoved his tongue forcefully into Reid's mouth.  Greg was usually hesitant about public displays of affection.  He'd gotten gay bashed when he was younger for holding a guy's hand in a parking lot, so the deep kiss surprised Reid.  It felt a little territorial, and Reid couldn't tell if that thrilled him or made him uneasy.  When they broke apart Greg gave him a sad smile.  Reid pulled his chair back out and shook his head.  "He's fine.  I don't need to go anywhere."

Greg grabbed the leg of the chair and pulled it back toward the table.  "Just go, Reid.  I want you to go.  If he's in danger, and something happens, you'll feel awful.  Go do what you need to do."

 Reid nodded.  He leaned down and whispered, "I love you,"  intimately against Greg's ear.

Greg shook his head.  "Yeah.  Me too."

****************************************************************************

Reid pulled up as close as he could to the pond..  Luke looked back at him, squinting.  Reid cut the engine and picked up his phone.  He texted Holden:  I found him.  He's fine.

As Reid walked to the dock, he passed a bike, leaning against a tree.  His boots clunked against the old wood of the dock, but Luke didn't turn around again.  Reid toed off his boots and removed his socks near a pile of clothes, about five feet from Luke.  As he approached Luke, he removed his jacket, and when he reached him, he draped it over his shoulders.  "It's not even Memorial Day yet; you really want to be back in the hospital with pneumonia from swimming in this swamp?"  He sat down next to Luke and lowered his feet into the water, up to his ankles.  "Hell, that's cold."  He watched Luke slide his arms into the jacket.  "The whole town is looking for you."

"What? Why?"

"Because Oakdale's Golden Boy is missing."

"I'm not missing.  I went for a bike ride.  I left a note in the kitchen on the table."

Reid shook his head.  "Well, your whole family, the citizenry, and the entire police task force of three officers have assumed that you are the victim of foul play and are looking for you."

"And yet you're the only one who knows where to find me."

"I pay attention," Reid joked.   Luke sighed.  Reid put his hand on the back of Luke's neck, his skin cool and damp.  "You okay, Snyder?"

Luke shrugged Reid's hand off.  "Yeah.  I'm fine.  I guess I better go call my dad."  He started to stand up, but Reid gently pulled him back down.

"I already let him know that I found you.  C'mon, talk to me.  What's going on?"

"Nothing.  Why are you here?  We agreed we wouldn't see each other."

"Holden told me that you heard from Noah today."

"Oh my God.  What the fuck?  He calls my ex boyfriend to talk about my other ex boyfriend?  That's so far outside the bounds of..."

"He was worried about you."

"Don't defend those people."

"Those people? They're your parents."  Luke stayed quiet for a few minutes, and Reid watched the sun setting behind the trees on the other side of the pond.  The water lapped against the dock and lightening bugs started to show themselves in the waning light of the day.

"He's moving to Berlin."  Reid turned toward Luke, and Luke sighed.  "Noah.  He's moving overseas.  And he's getting married."

Reid's brow furrowed.  "Married?  Well he better get married over here.  I don't think Germany allows same sex marriage."

Luke laughed out loud, which startled Reid.  "He's marrying a fucking woman."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Wow," Reid said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Yeah."

"How does that make you feel?" Reid asked.

"You sound like my therapists in rehab.  The weird part is, I don't feel anything.  I don't care."  Luke sighed.  "It doesn't surprise me as much as it should."

"It doesn't surprise you that he's bi?"

"I don't want to talk about him.  We're done.  People move on."  Luke glanced over at Reid, and Reid felt vaguely like Luke was accusing him of something.  Luke turned and stared out at the pond again.

They were quiet for a few moments.  Reid looked at the pink and yellow clouds and listened to the birds across the pond.  He then turned to Luke who was sitting with his hands in his lap, wearing nothing but a pair of wet boxers and Reid's jacket.  Reid needed to know, so he took a deep breath and asked the question that had been on his mind for weeks now.  "What happened to you out there?  How did it get so bad?"

Luke stood up and took off Reid's jacket.  "I'm going to change.  If you want to look, then look.  If not, don't."

Reid thought that was a strange thing for Luke to say.  He didn't like the lack of enthusiasm in his voice.  He stayed facing forward and heard the wet boxers hit the dock with a thwump.  He decided that Luke probably didn't feel like talking about California or his decline into drugs and alcohol, so he wouldn't push the issue.  A couple of minutes later, Luke sat down next to him in rolled up jeans.  He had Reid's jacket on again.  "I hope this is okay.  I'm cold," he said, pulling the front of the jacket closed.

"Yeah...yeah, of course," Reid said.  He looked at Luke's damp hair and struggled to keep from putting his arm around him to warm him up.

Luke took a deep breath.  "The time out there is a blur.  In the beginning, it was fun being in LaLa Land...ya know, moving into our apartment and exploring the area.  We went to Venice and Malibu, acting like tourists...to the Hollywood sign and the Planetarium...the Tar Pits and the Museums....up and down the Boulevard.  But after a few weeks, the novelty wore off.  Noah was working all of the time, and I wasn't doing anything.  I didn't have a job.  I missed my foundation work, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  I even missed running the shipping company.  He'd go out with his film colleagues, and I'd be at home eating Ramen.  I missed my family...my friends.......you.  Sometimes I'd go with him to work functions, but he acted weird, like he was someone else, like he was putting on a front to cover up the fact that he was wet behind the ears, ya know?   He was always talking about his stupid artistic vision, and when I tried to contribute to the conversation, he'd make jokes at my expense, like I wasn't Hollywood enough or something......or he'd just leave me sitting there by myself, not knowing anyone.  After while, I just stopped going.  I hated it out there.  I felt invisible."

"Why didn't you come home?"

Luke shook his head.  "I felt like I needed to follow through on something for once...I don't know.  It was stupid.  I got a job at a book store, so at least I had something to do, but Noah was home less and less, and when he was home, he was distant and moody.  Things weren't going well on his project; he lost some financing.  I offered to make up the difference, but of course that just sent him into a tirade about how  my money couldn't fix everything and how wonderful it must be to be so privileged.  I've grown a thick skin about it over the years, but it still hurts when someone I care about ridicules me for my wealth.  It's not like I asked for it.  It was all out of my control.   I didn't ask for any of it.  And let me tell you, when people need money, I'm everyone's best friend."

Reid immediately felt a pang of guilt, as his words from almost two years before came flooding back to him: trust fund brat, richie rich, silver spoon.  "Luke, I..."

"Relax," Luke said, bumping Reid's shoulder with his own.  "I wasn't talking about you."

"I said those things before I really knew you...before I knew how generous you were, and..."

"Before I funded your neuro wing?"

"Ouch.  Luke, I'm s..."

Luke shook his head.  "Reid.  Don't.  That was a long time ago, and I know you don't feel like that anymore."  Reid nodded, not sure that Luke believed his own words.  "So, Noah's project was shitty, and he was taking it out on me most of the time.  He'd rant and rave, and if I offered any advice he'd scoff and make it clear that I knew nothing about film and storytelling, and whatever.  I tried.  I tried to be supportive.  I tried to rationalize the fact that he was verbally abusive.  I also tried to rationalize the fact that we weren't having sex.  He was tired, overworked.  That was his excuse anyway.  I could handle not having sex, but......he never really even looked at me anymore...or kissed me...touched me.  It felt a lot like when he was blind, his unwillingness to give me anything I needed.  It was all about him.  We slept in the same bed, but it felt like we were roommates, not lovers."

"Maybe he DID suffer brain damage when I restored his eyesight...what an idiot..."

Luke smiled,and when his eyes met Reid's, the doctor experienced a surge of warmth in his chest and a stomach full of butterflies that felt familiar in regards to Luke.   Instantly, Reid was transported to early 2010 when his arguing with Luke bordered on flirting, when he had to fake annoyance to mask his desire.  Reid turned away and cleared his throat.

"I was lonely in L.A....sounds like the name of a bad movie, huh?  I went for a walk one night, and I ended up at a gay bar.  I wasn't invisible in there."

"I bet."

"I had every intention of drinking, but instead, I ended up leaving with a guy.  I didn't even want to know his name.  We went to his place, which was not that far from our apartment.  The whole time, I was thinking how unlike me it was to be doing those things with someone I didn't know, but then afterwards, there was a freedom in it. There were no expectations.  I'd gotten what I wanted.  I didn't have to stay.  He had some pills on the kitchen counter.  I took some...stole them.....on my way out the door, just put them in my pocket.  When I got home I took them, and I slept like the dead."

"What were they?"

"I have no idea."

"Jesus, Luke..."

"After that, I started going to bars almost every night.  There was always someone to talk to.  I wasn't sitting home alone anymore.  These guys didn't consider me low brow or pedestrian like Noah seemed to.  I hung out with that  guy a few more times.  His name was Tank.  Can you believe that?  Tank."  Luke chuckled.  "And I hung out with other guys too."

"Hung out or fucked?"

"Both."  Luke sighed.

"Did you do more pills?"

"Yeah, I did a lot of pills.  Uppers.  Downers.  Ecstasy.  I drank a little too, but I was drinking less.  I was actually proud of myself about drinking less."  Reid shook his head.  "I know it was messed up, Reid.  But at the time, it all made me feel normal.  I didn't feel as lonely.  Guys wanted to spend time with me."

"Of course they did, " Reid answered, more sarcastically than he meant.  He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around what Luke was telling him.  Luke, who had made him wait....allowing Reid only the tamest access to his body.  And now here was Luke telling him that he was pretty much fucking any guy with a pulse.

"Then one night I was feeling sick, so I went home, and I walked in on Noah getting fucked in our bed."  Luke made a sound that was half laugh/half whine.  "I didn't care really...I mean, I was fucking around.........but I can count on one hand the number of times he let me anywhere near his ass.  He wasn't into that, or so he'd told me......but there he was with his ass in the air for someone else.  In reality, I guess he just wasn't into it with me."

Luke got quiet for a few minutes, and Reid wasn't sure what to do.  He wanted to hug Luke.  He  wanted to tell him that Noah was an asshole and that he was blind in ways that had nothing to do with his eyes.  He wanted to tell him that Noah's rejection had nothing to do with Luke and everything to do with Noah's own issues.  Instead, he stayed quiet and waited for Luke to continue.

"Anyway," Luke finally said, "We fought.  He turned it around on me...said that he knew that I was drinking and screwing around on him.  I didn't deny it.  It was true.  He called me a slut and a drunk...I guess it was true...........told me that I was weak and that I was disappointment.  I don't even remember everything we said to each other, but at one point, he took a swing at me.  I ducked and then stood and gave him an upper cut to the jaw."  Luke smiled sardonically.  "That felt good.......................I left that night...packed a duffel bag and just left.  I met up with a guy I knew and spent the night at his place, but I was gone before morning.  The next day, I rented a room in a motel.  I continued to party.  I left my job one day and never went back. I didn't care.  I felt so out of control.  All I did was get high and fuck...when I wasn't so out of my head that I couldn't get it up.  It was another addiction...something that made me feel good at the time but that I was ashamed of the next day.   I did that for months before I got sick, broke down, and called my parents.  You know the rest."

Reid ran a hand over his face.  "Listen, Luke...I don't discount the merits of recreational sex, but.....please, tell me you were careful."

Luke shrugged.  "I think I was, but there are some nights I simply don't remember...and I wasn't thinking clearly during that time....I simply didn't care......I was stupid.......did a lot of risky things.........but I've been tested a couple of times now, and they've come back negative.  I'll test again in three months."

Reid stopped resisting and put his arm around Luke.  He squeezed the junction between Luke's shoulder and neck gently.  "What about the cutting?"

Luke sighed.  "I swear to you that I haven't done that since rehab.  I can't explain it except to tell you that it made me feel better....less lonely.......more in control.  Stupid, huh?"

Reid shook his head.  "Hey, I'm the king of defense mechanisms, who am I to judge?"  He chuckled but then got serious.  "I hate that you were going through all of that and that I didn't know.  I would have been there in a heartbeat."

Luke nodded.  "I know."

Reid put his hand on the back of Luke's head, Luke turned to him, and before he knew what was happening, Luke's lips were pressed against his own.  Reid gave into it for a few brief moments.  Their mouths remembered each other and molded together easily.   Luke smelled and tasted familiar in a way that made Reid's chest ache.  He even opened his mouth briefly when he felt Luke's tongue swipe his bottom lip, but then he thought of Greg and pulled back immediately, missing the warmth of Luke's mouth as soon as they separated.  "Luke..."

"Oh my God," Luke said, pushing Reid's arm from around his shoulder.  "I'm so sorry, Reid.  I shouldn't have done that."

Reid shook his head.  "No, it's okay.........it's just.................I can't."

"I know.  I'm sorry," Luke said, standing up and taking off Reid's jacket.  Reid stood up as well, and Luke handed him his jacket without looking at him.

Reid watched silently as Luke put on his shoes and started walking off the dock.  He picked up his own shoes and followed Luke.  "Where are you going?"

Luke lifted the bike away from the tree.  "I'm going to farmhouse to call my parents.  They're probably worried.  They'll come pick me up."

"I can drive you.  I have some rope in my trunk.  We can put your bike in it and tie the back down."

"No," Luke said, looking away.  "It'll be too awkward, and..."

Reid put his hand out and touched Luke's arm.  "Luke."  He turned to him, and Reid pulled him into a hug.  "It's me, Luke.  Things have never been awkward between us.  Let's not start now. Okay?"

Luke stepped out of Reid's embrace.  "But I kissed you, and you're in a relationship, and..."

"And I kissed you back," Reid admitted.  "And then we stopped, so let's not make a federal case out of it."

"Will you tell Greg?"

"Yes."

"Really?"  Luke asked.

"We're honest with each other.  I won't deceive him."

"Oh, God.  He's going to hate me."

Reid laughed.  "Luke, you're my ex.  He's supposed to hate you.  But knowing Greg, he'll understand............I mean, c'mon, he knows how irresistible I am.  How could you not kiss me?"

Luke rolled his eyes.  "You are insufferable, Dr. Oliver."

Reid sucked in a breath and hoped Luke didn't hear it.  Luke hadn't called him that in a long time and it brought back another flood of memories.  Reid cleared his throat.  "C'mon, I'll take you home," he said and couldn't help adding, "Mr. Snyder."

*******************************************************************

Reid walked in the door to find Greg sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, the flickering of the tv the only light in the living room.  He looked down at the coffee table and found four empty beer bottles there.  "You kept the party going when you got home, huh?"  He sat down next to Greg and kissed him on the cheek.  "I didn't see your car out there.  Did you call a cab?  We can pick your car up in the morning."

Greg took a sip of his beer and ignored Reid's question.  "Did you find him?"

Reid nodded.  "He was exactly where I thought he was."

"And is everything okay with the young Mr. Snyder?"

"Yeah, it turns out he left a note at..."

"Did you fuck him?"

"What?" Reid asked, turning toward Greg, taking the beer out of his hand and placing it on the coffee table.  "No!"

"Do you want to fuck him?"

"Greg," Reid said, putting his hand on Greg's arm.  "I wouldn't do that to you."

"That doesn't exactly answer my question now, does it?"  Reid stayed silent.  "Are you still attracted to him?"

Reid shook his head.  "It doesn't matter because I'm with you.  I'm committed to you.  I don't cheat."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

Reid didn't know how to answer that.  "Can we stop with the barrage of questions?"

"Answer me," Greg insisted.

Reid wanted to be honest with Greg.  He did feel something for Luke, but he wasn't sure what that was.  All he knew for certain was that he wanted to shield him from anything bad that might hurt him.   "I feel..........protective of him, but I don't want to be with him, if that's what you're asking.  I'm with you."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's true!"  Reid felt frustration building inside of him.  "Jesus, Harry...........what do you want from me?"

"Have you kissed him?"

"What?"

"Have.You.Kissed.Him?" Greg enunciated slowly.  "Since he's returned to Oakdale...have your lips touched his?"  Reid closed his eyes.  He felt Greg scoot away from him on the couch.  "Oh my God.  You have."

"He kissed me tonight, but I stopped it."

"Did you kiss him back?" Greg asked.

"I just told you; I stopped it."  Greg huffed out a disbelieving chuckle.  "I kissed him for a few seconds," Reid admitted reluctantly, "but then I stopped it.  And he freaked out and apologized, and that was it.  It won't happen again."

"If I wasn't in the picture, would it have gone further?"

"I don't know."

"How about you be honest with me."

"Shit.  Yeah, okay?  Is that what you really want to hear?  But none of that matters because you are in the picture."

Suddenly, in a quick move, Greg straddled him, and then he was kissing Reid hard, with his tongue practically down his throat. Greg started moving, rolling his pelvis so that his ass ground down in tight circles against Reid's crotch.   He abruptly broke the kiss and panted against Reid's mouth.  "Tell me."  Reid tried to kiss him again, but Greg pulled back and repeated, "Tell me that you're mine."

Reid knew that Greg was drunk.  He probably should have pushed him off his lap and put him in bed to sleep it off, but instead he grabbed two handfuls of Greg's ass and pulled him in hard against his growing erection.  "I'm yours," he said against Greg's parted lips.  He kissed Greg and repeated, "I'm yours," not sure if he was trying to convince Greg or himself.  "I want you."  He kissed him again.  "Inside me.  My mouth.  My ass.  I'm yours."  My heart entered Reid's mind, but he couldn't say it.  He should have said it.  His heart was Greg's, right?  But minutes later, when Greg entered him roughly from behind, as the carpet burned Reid's knees with each of Greg's purposeful thrusts, all he could see was Luke's face.

********************************************************************

The next few weeks went by without incident.  The subject of Luke didn't come up again.  Greg seemed satisfied that Reid wanted to be with him, and if he still had doubts, he didn't voice them further.  For his part, Reid tried to be attentive to Greg's needs, making an extra effort to show him affection, whether it was spontaneous cuddling on the couch, crossing the room to kiss him for no particular reason, or a shoulder massage at the end of the day.  He loved Greg, and it bothered him that maybe he felt less than secure in their relationship.  Yeah, it was true that Luke snuck into his thoughts every now and then, but things had been over between them for a long time, and Reid wasn't interested in revisiting a relationship with him, no matter how much he thought about him.

Reid was walking down a ground-level hallway of Memorial Hospital, reading a chart, when he suddenly ran headlong into someone.  The chart went flying, and the papers that the other person was holding scattered as well.

"Watch the hell where you're going!" Reid bellowed, stooping down to pick up his patient's chart.  When he stood up, he found himself staring into the shocked face of Luke Snyder.  "Oh..."

"Reid!  I'm so sorry," Luke said, crouching and gathering his strewn papers.  "I wasn't paying attention..."

"No.....it's okay.........neither was I."  Reid picked up a few sheets of paper and handed them to Luke.  "How are you?"

"I'm great," Luke said, quickly reorganizing the papers in his hand.  "How are you?" he asked, looking up.

"Me?  Oh.  Yeah, me.  I'm good."  Reid took in the attractive sight of Luke in a pair of jeans, a button down shirt, and a sports coat.  "What are you doing here?"

"I'm meeting with the family of a pediatric cancer patient.  They live in a rural area, and we are going to provide housing for them while they are here for their son's treatments."

"We?"

"The foundation.  I'm doing a little bit of work for them, even though there's a new administrator to run it.  It feels good to be doing something worthwhile again."  Reid nodded.  "Hey, um.....this shouldn't take too long.  Are you free to grab a coffee in the cafeteria when I'm finished?  I want to tell you something."

Reid wondered what it could be.  "Yeah, sure.  Greg's meeting me for lunch a little later, but I have time for coffee."

"Great...meet me in the cafeteria in about forty five minutes?"

"Yeah.  Sounds good."

Luke grabbed Reid's wrist and looked at his watch.  "Oh crap, I gotta book it.  I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay.  Yeah.  See ya."

************************************************************

Reid signaled Luke over to the table when he saw him enter the cafeteria.  Luke approached him, smiling.  "I hope it's okay.  I got your coffee already."  He pointed to the cup on the other side of the table.  "Cream, no sugar."

"Thank you," Luke said, pulling off his sports coat and draping it over the back of his chair.

"How did your meeting go?"

"It went well, but it's such a sad situation.  They have a disabled daughter, and now her little brother has cancer.  It's unfair for one family to be hit with so much, ya know?  It's a lot for the parents to handle."  Reid nodded.  "But we're going to be able to alleviate some of the financial burden, so that will at least make that part easier for them.  Their daughter is so cute.  She hugged me goodbye."

"Kids love you.  You cracked me up that time I went with you to the peds ward.........you were like the pied piper in there with those kids."

"I do enjoy them."

Reid took a sip of his coffee.  "So, what did you want to tell me?"

Luke smiled.  "I'm moving."

Reid suddenly felt like he had a lead weight in his stomach.  "Again?  Did you reconcile with Noah?"

"No!" Luke exclaimed but then looked around and brought his voice down.  "God, no.  I'm, uh.....I'm moving to New York next month."

"New York?"

"Yeah, the Big Apple.  I've already signed a lease on a very small apartment...extrememely small.........it has a fire escape, just like you see in movies...I love that for some reason.......... and I've enrolled in four courses at NYU.  Two of them are writing courses.  I don't know that I'll get a degree, but I want to explore my options.  I already have over two years of classes under my belt, so it wouldn't take me long to finish if I set my mind to it."

"Wow.  Do you know anyone there?"

"Not a soul!" Luke said excitedly.  "I think that's what is most exciting to me.  It'll just be me, in a new city......free to be whomever I want to be."

"All you have to be is yourself."

"I don't even know who that is, so it will be fun to find out."  Luke scratched behind his ear.  Reid loved that particular nervous habit of Luke's.

"I hope you're not trying to isolate yourself."  Reid didn't want to sound like a downer, but he felt worry clawing at his chest.

"Not at all.  I've already contacted an AA group there, and there's a woman who wants to be my sponsor.  I have a consultation appointment to meet my new nephrologist up there, two days after I move, and my therapist here has recommended another therapist in the city and has already contacted her about me."

"It sounds like you've thought of everything."

"Probably not...but I'm really excited about this.  It's time for me to stand on my own and to make some good choices for my future.  My mom is a wreck, saying I'm not ready and that I need to be near her and my dad, but I feel like I need the exact opposite.  I need to be on my own, meeting new people, and doing things that are good for me.  I feel really good about this."

"I'm happy for you," Reid said sincerely, smiling and putting his hand over Luke's on the table.  "You're going to do great."

Luke smiled for a brief second but then pulled his hand away quickly and glanced up and over Reid's left shoulder while clearing his throat.  Reid glanced over his shoulder and saw his boyfriend staring at Luke.  "Greg!  Hey.  I thought we were going to meet at Al's?"

Greg lifted his chin a bit.  "I got away earlier than I expected.  I thought I'd surprise you."

"You did," Reid said, taken back by the awkward chuckle that he heard come from his own throat.  Why was he nervous?  "Sit down."
He put his hand around Greg's wrist.  "Have a seat."

Greg nodded in Luke's direction.  "Luke."

"Hi, Greg," Luke answered, offering an outstretched hand, which Greg shook as he sat down.

Once Greg was seated, an awkward silence hung in the air for a moment, until Reid took a deep breath and said, "Luke was just telling me that he's moving to New York."

"Moving?"  Greg asked.  "How soon?"

Subtle, Reid thought.

"In the next few weeks," Luke replied, catching Reid's eyes.  "Um...ya know what?  I'm running late.  I better get going."  He stood up.  "Greg, it was nice seeing you."  He turned to Reid.  "Reid.........um, bye."

Reid instinctively reached out and grabbed Luke's forearm as he stood up.  "Wait."  He watched Luke glance at Greg and then back to Reid.  He looked unsure.

Reid nodded and let go of Luke's arm.  "If I don't see you, good luck in New York.    Just don't root for those damn Yankees."  Luke laughed.  "And be good to yourself."

Luke smiled, almost sadly.  "I will.  I promise."

Reid nodded.  He felt like he should hug Luke.  Or kiss him goodbye.  Maybe this was it.  He might never see him again.  Instead, he put out his hand, and Luke shook it.  Their eyes met.  Luke said, "Bye, Reid," and then he was walking away.  Reid watched him for a few seconds before sitting back down.  He ran a hand through his hair and met Greg's eyes.  He tried to smile at him but failed.  He knew he was hurting Greg in that moment, but he didn't know how to stop it, so he found Greg's hand under the table and slotted their fingers together without saying anything.  He was relieved to feel Greg squeeze his hand.

"You okay, Doc?"

"Don't," Reid said, shaking his head and sniffing.  "Don't be nice to me.  Don't be cool about this..."

"About what?" Greg asked, smiling weakly, "About you being sad that he's leaving?  What do you want me to do?  Be pissed that you have emotions?  Jesus, Reid.......you feel what you feel."

Reid continued shaking his head, but then he leaned forward and kissed Greg hard on the mouth.  When he pulled back he said, "I'm starving.  Al's?"

"Sure," Greg said, "Al's."

************************************************************

Reid felt the length of a body pressed against his back, teeth biting into his shoulder, and a hand wrapped around his dick.  He pushed back with his ass and felt hardness sliding along his crack.  Reid made a sound that was part sigh and part moan, reaching back and finding hair, tugging gently.  "Luke..."

Everything stopped and Reid's eyes flew open in the early morning light. Greg.  He felt the emptiness in the bed as Greg shifted away from him and rolled out of bed.  Reid rolled over and watched Greg pull on a pair of boxers.  "What the fuck, Reid...?"  The bathroom door slammed shut.

****************************************************************

Reid walked into the apartment and almost tripped over the suitcases by the door.  "What's this?" he asked, stepping toward Greg, who was sitting on the couch.

Greg stood up.  "I'm going to stay with Colin for awhile."

"What are you talking about?..." Reid answered, reaching for Greg, but Greg put his hand on Reid's chest to stop him.  Reid dropped his hands to his sides and looked at Greg with a look of confusion on his face.  "What's..."

Greg raised a hand to stop him.  "School's almost out.  I'm not doing summer classes.   I've booked a flight back home for next week.  I'm going to stay there a few weeks this summer."

"Okay, but why are you moving out?"

Greg took a deep breath and raised his chin.  "I don't want to be someone you settle for."

"What are you talking about?"  Reid asked again.

"I'm worth more than that, Reid."

"Is this about Luke?" Reid asked, truly flummoxed.  "Don't be crazy, that's over.  C'mon, I'll help you unpack these," he said turning, but Greg caught his arm.

"It's not over.  Maybe you think it's over.  Maybe you want to pretend it's over, but Jesus, Reid, anyone with eyes can see that you still have feelings for the guy."

Reid felt anger flare up inside him.  "We were barely even together, and we broke up a year and a half ago.  He left.  It's done."

"Oh, c'mon....please don't insult me by lying to me.  Can you at least give me that much?"

Reid looked down and away before returning his eyes to Greg's.  He put his hands on Greg's upper arms.  "I have not cheated on you, I swear.  Not once."

Greg nodded.  "I know that."

"So then why are you doing this?  Is it because I said his name the other day?  I already told you:  I was half asleep."

"And even when you are sleeping, you're thinking of him."

I'm with you!"

"But your heart is with him."

"Fuck, Greg.  I'm trying, here.  What else do you want from me?"

Greg let out a small chuckle.  "That's the thing though, isn't it?  If I was the one you truly wanted to be with, you wouldn't have to try."

Reid winced, but then he wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him into his arms.  "Please, don't go."  He brought his hands up to the side's of Greg's face and kissed him.  "I love you."  He could feel the tears in his own eyes, but he blinked them back, determined not to let Greg see him cry.

Greg kissed him hard on the mouth, their tongues sliding together.  When the kiss broke, Greg answered, "I love you too.  That's why I want you to be happy."

"But I am happy," Reid argued.  Greg shook his head.  "I won't see him anymore.  Is that what you want?"

"No, it's not......because it's not what you want.  Be honest.  Do you really want him out of your life?"

"I lived without him for nineteen months......................and for a whole 35 years before I met him.  I can do it again."

"But do you want to do that again?"

"It doesn't even matter," Reid argued.  "He's moving.  He's not going to be an issue."

"Reid, he's always going to be an issue until you make peace with your feelings for him, whether or not they are returned or if they even lead to anything.  I'm not angry.  I know you are not trying to deceive me or to hurt me.  Things are what they are.  Nobody can control their heart."  Reid sighed, not knowing how to respond.  "Walk me out?"

Reid shook his head and pulled Greg into his arms again.  He held him until Greg reciprocated and wrapped his arms around Reid as well.  They silently held each other for a long time.  Finally, Reid stepped back.  "Ya know what's really fucked up?" he asked, wiping at the tear sliding down Greg's cheek.  Greg shook his head but didn't answer.  "We wouldn't even be together if it wasn't for him."

"Because he left?"

"No.........because he opened up something in me that wasn't there before I met him.  When he left, I was screwed up for awhile, but as time passed, I knew it was something I wanted again.  To feel like that.  And I knew it was something I deserved to have again."  He put his hand on Greg's arm.  "And then we met, and it was like, okay, yeah.  I get another shot at this.  It never felt like settling.  It felt right from the start.  Please, believe me."  Greg nodded.  Reid took Greg's hand in his.  "Stay."

Greg put his hand over Reid's and shook his head.  "I can't.  Don't make this more agonizing than it already is.

Reid's bottom lip threatened to wobble, so he bit the inside of his cheek to stop it.  "I'm not going to beg."

Greg kissed his forehead.  "I wouldn't expect you to."

*******************************************

Katie kissed Reid on the cheek as she walked in the door, carrying a brown shopping bag.  She went to the kitchen and began unpacking items from the bag.  "I've got break up food.........and wine," she said holding the bottle over her head.  "Two pints of Ben & Jerry's ..........and I have Thelma and Louise and Bridget Jones' Diary on Blu-ray."

"You do know that I'm not a woman, right?" Reid asked, retrieving spoons from the drawer.

"Of course, silly...that's why I got you this..."  Katie pulled a six pack of Heineken from the bottom of the bag.  "And those gross vinegar chips you like."

"That's more like it.  Thanks, Goldilocks," Reid said as he opened a beer.  He then opened the Cabernet for Katie and poured her a small glass.

"I told Chris I was staying here tonight."

"In that case..."  Reid gulped the small glass of wine down and handed Katie the bottle.  "You can drink out of this."  He picked up his opened bottle of beer and clinked it against the wine bottle.  "Cheers..."  He took a long pull on the beer.  He closed his eyes for a second, feeling the warmth of the alcohol spread in his stomach.  Yeah, he was getting drunk tonight.  Reid handed the pint of Chocolate Therapy to Katie and grabbed the pint of Cherry Garcia for himself.  "What kind of man lets his wife spend the night at another man's house?" he asked facetiously.

"The kind of man who is secure enough in his relationship to let his wife hang out with her homo friend.  However, he doesn't know, nor does he ever need to know, that I crushed on you hard before I knew that you didn't fancy breasts."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Reid joked lamely.

"Cut it out," Katie said, swatting his shoulder.  "You knew.  You had to know."

Reid shrugged.  He wasn't buying it, but he'd play along.  "If I liked breasts, I'd choose yours.  I'm not so gay that I can't appreciate the fact that you have a great rack."

"Oh my God.  Shut up," Katie cackled.

Reid picked up two spoons, two extra beers, and the chips and nodded toward the couch.

Once Bridget Jones was in the DVD player, Reid sat on the couch next to Katie and picked the ice cream up off the coffee table, cramming a large spoonful into his mouth.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  Katie asked.

"Not particularly," Reid answered around a mouthful of cream and cherries.

Katie sighed and reached over with her spoon to take some of Reid's icecream.  "I liked Greg."

"Me too," Reid replied, shoving a handful of salt and vinegar chips into his mouth.

Katie grimaced as Reid washed down the chips with beer.  "Any chance he'll reconsider?"

"Doubtful.  He's headed across the pond for the summer anyways, and......."  Reid drew in a deep breath, not knowing how to finish his sentence.  He didn't even want to think about Greg being that far away.

"What about Luke?" Katie asked, sipping wine from the bottle.

"What do you mean?"

"Greg broke up with you because he thought you had unfinished business with Luke, right?  Do you? "

"Have you seen Luke since he's been home?" Reid asked.  "He's all kinds of screwed up.  No.  Do you know what I need?  I need to go back to being an island.  Me.  By myself.  It worked for thirty six years; I can make it work for thirty six more."

"You don't mean that."

"I most certainly do," Reid insisted, looking at the TV.  "Colin Firth.  Now, if he showed up at the door, I might make an exception."

Katie put her head on Reid's shoulder.  "I know.  He's dreamy, isn't he?"

"He's old.  But yeah..."  Katie put her arm around Reid's waist and snuggled in closer.  "What are you doing, Blondie?"

"You're heartbroken.  You need a hug."

Reid rolled his eyes and drank down the rest of his second beer.  He leaned forward and put the empty bottle on the coffee table.  As he sat back, he put his arm around Katie and then rested his cheek against the top of her head.  He felt emotion prickling his eyes, as it had been for the past two days as he'd moped around the empty, silent apartment.  Yeah....ok.  Maybe he did need a hug.  "I'm glad you're here," he said softly and kissed the top of his best friend's head.  "Thanks for hanging out here tonight."

"I always have your back," Katie replied.

Reid smiled sadly.  "I know."

***************************************************************************

"I'm sorry, Reid.  I don't know what to say."

Reid shrugged while sitting next to Luke on the back porch of Lily's house.  He had gone there without calling, his car seemingly having a mind of its own after work.  He'd just wanted to stop by and wish Luke well with his move, as it was now just a couple of weeks away.  That's what he told Luke anyway as he tried unsuccessfully to convince himself of the same.  In reality, he wanted to see Luke.  He'd been thinking about him, and it bothered him that he was thinking about Luke more than Greg, even though he missed Greg terribly.

"There's a small part of me that wishes you hadn't come back," Reid said after a few silent minutes.

Luke nodded, and Reid wished he could take the words back immediately, even if they were true.

"And the other part of you?"

In one quick motion, Reid grabbed Luke's face and brought their mouths together in a deep kiss.  Reid felt Luke's hand on the back of his neck, and he felt his other hand fisting into the front of his button-down shirt.  Luke tasted good and familiar, and he felt warm and solid.  Reid wrapped his arm around Luke's waist to pull him closer, but suddenly Luke was pushing at his chest and pulling away.  "Wait..."  Reid tried to kiss Luke again, his fingers digging into Luke's waist.  "Reid!"

Reid sat back with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry," Luke said, smoothing his shirt.

Reid shook his head.  "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"Oh, God, Reid...I have a lot to be sorry about, but..."  Luke stood and started pacing.  "I wish we could go back and start over...to before I hurt you and to before I made so many bad decisions, but we can't.........and I'm leaving in nine days.  And I know you're lonely right now, Reid.  I know that you're hurting...............because I know you.........you don't let a lot of people in, but when you do.....you fall hard and fast, and you love fiercely.  I know that about you.......so, I know that you're hurting right now.....I know that you miss him.......and I think maybe you miss me too, in the same way that I've missed you......................and it would be so easy for me to wrap my arms around you, take you to bed, and just start over...because I still love you, Reid, I do.  But......I can't be with anyone right now.  I need to be alone.  I need to prove some things to myself.  And it has nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with me.  I can't filter my life through someone else.  I have to be selfish right now.  I have to.  I have to be well, and I don't think I'll ever be well if I can't be on my own."

Reid nodded and stood up.  He rubbed his eyes.  He was so tired of feeling emotional.  Luke was correct, and maybe that's what he needed too...just to be alone.  By himself.  Solitary.  An island, like he'd told Katie.  People left.  It was a hard fact he'd learned early on, and he was suddenly irritated with himself for his inability to remember that unwavering piece of information at times when his heart started having other ideas along the way.  But even with these thoughts running through his head, Reid couldn't help but reach out and touch Luke, to pull him into his arms.  He closed his eyes against the emotion in them and spoke softly against Luke's ear.  "I love you too."

Then he kissed Luke's temple and walked away.

Luke and Reid have been making out on Reid's bed for awhile now, the baseball game on the tv long forgotten.  They are both breathing hard.  Reid's shirt is unbuttoned, and Luke's t-shirt is pushed up to his chest.  Their lips are red, and Luke's got a light hickey on the side of his neck.  When Reid brushes his thumb over Luke's hardened nipple, Luke makes a sound that's half sigh, half moan.  Encouraged by Luke's response, Reid lowers his hand and squeezes Luke's erection through his jeans.  Luke gasps and grabs Reid's wrist.  "Reid..."

Reid opens his eyes and looks at Luke, his own need for release thudding away in his jeans.  This is how it's been the last few weeks:  go, go, GO....Stop.   He rolls away from Luke onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a few moments before picking up the remote off the mattress and changing the channel, while putting one hand under his head.

"Don't be mad," Luke says, sitting up and straightening his shirt.

"I'm not," Reid answers, not taking his eyes off the tv but not seeing it either.

"Liar," Luke challenges, looking on the floor for his shoes.  It's time to go home.

Reid puts his hand on Luke's lower back, and Luke turns around to look at him.  "I'm not mad.  I said I'd wait, didn't I?"

"But you're frustrated," Luke says, running his hand through his hair.

"Yes, I'm frustrated.  We get going, everything is great, you seem as into it as I am, and then you pull back.  I don't get it."

"I told you, I associate all of this with..."

"Don't say his name."  Reid sits up.  "It doesn't feel very good knowing that you're thinking about him when we're together."

"Reid, don't."

"You're never going to move past it if you keep inviting him into bed with us."

"That's not fair!" Luke says, standing up, disbelief all over his face.

Reid grabs Luke's arm and tugs so that Luke sits back down next to him.  "You're right, it's not fair.  It's not fair that you broke up with him months ago but that he's still fucking with your head."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?  C'mon, Luke, you're twenty three years old; sex should be all you ever think about.  Damn, I'm thirty five, and outside of surgery, meals, and sleeping, it's pretty much all I ever think about."

Luke lies back on the bed.  "I do think about it," he insists, running a hand over his face, his eyes trained on the ceiling.  "All the time."

Reid smiles and rolls toward Luke, facing him and squeezing his hip.  Luke turns his head and can't help smiling back.  And just like that the tension is gone, the argument over.

"What do you think about?" Reid asks, waggling his eyebrows and licking his lips on purpose.

Luke chuckles.  "I'm not telling you."

Reid presses his face into the side of Luke's neck and smiles.  "Aw, c'mon, you're not giving me sex.  The least you can do is talk dirty to me," he jokes, kissing Luke's jaw.  Luke shakes his head, a blush coming to his cheeks.  "Tell me, Mr. Snyder..."

"No," Luke answers, scrunching his shoulders up in ticklishness from Reid's breath against his ear.

"Please?" Reid implores, licking at Luke's earlobe.

Luke bites his lip before softly saying, "You," and then closes his eyes.

"Well, that's a good start," Reid says warmly.  "I'm glad that I'm the one in your mind's sex tape.  And what am I doing to you?"

"Nothing," Luke answers.

"Nothing?"

Luke smiles.  "Well, I mean, sometimes you're doing stuff to me.......but usually it's just you.  Um....ya know.....you.........taking care of yourself?  Solo."  He covers his eyes.

Reid feels his still hard dick twitch.  "A masturbation fantasy."  His voice is deep and seductive, his hand now under Luke's shirt, resting on his stomach.

"Yes," Luke says, opening his eyes.

"And where am I?" Reid asks, his lips against his ear again and brushing away the goosebumps that rise on Luke's skin.

Luke doesn't hesitate in answering now.  "Usually in the squeaky desk chair in your office...or sometimes in your car.  Some times here, in the shower......or on the bed.  But mostly in that chair at work...I like imagining you in there, just...."  Luke's sighs.  "I've had this same fantasy about you since before we were even together.......before I even liked you."

Reid raises himself up on one elbow and then leans down to kiss Luke deeply.  When the kiss breaks, he thumbs Luke's chin and says, "I love hearing that.  Keep going.  What am I wearing?"

Luke laughs at the delicious absurdity of the conversation but then continues.  "Sometimes nothing, but usually you're half dressed.......ya know, like you have on a lab coat but no shirt under it or you're in a suit with the tie loosened and your shirt sort of open, and your pants...they're just undone enough to get a hand on yourself."

Reid moves his hand to brush over one of Luke's nipples and is rewarded with the rolling of Luke's hips.  "Are you there too?"

"Sometimes," Luke responds breathlessly.  "But you don't know I'm there."

"Mmm.  You like watching," Reid says.

"Yeah...God, Reid..."

"Are you touching yourself too?"

"Yeah."

"So sexy," Reid says huskily.  "Tell me what I'm doing."

"Hmmmngh?" Luke answers, his hand on top of Reid's and pushing it down his body.  "Please..."

Reid smiles and squeezes Luke through his jeans before caressing him.  "Tell me how I do it."

"Slowly," Luke says, panting now, and rocking his hips in time with Reid's hand.  "You just do it in long strokes, and your head is back, your eyes closed........and....your body is so.........ngh....you're leaking, and it's so hot."

"Fuck, Luke," Reid responds, his leg wrapping around Luke's and his hips moving, trying to find some friction against his straining cock.

"And your other hand, it's just all over your body.  You're making these hot little sounds, and the chair is creaking because of the way you're moving, and I want you."  Reid increases the speed of his strokes and kisses the side of Luke's head.  "And then your fingers are in your mouth getting them nice and wet, and you are reaching back, and...."  Luke goes still and then shudders before he puts his hand over Reid's and comes with a long moan.

Reid can feel Luke's dick spasming even under the thick, rough material of his jeans, and he's pretty much out of his head with the need to come himself.  Luke's had him on the edge for weeks now, and as he lies there watching Luke ride out the aftershocks, Reid's hands go to his own jeans, quickly undoing them and wrapping a hand around himself.  Everything goes hazy, and It's only a few strokes before he feels the first wave hit him, and as it does, he hears Luke's voice  saying his name and feels Luke's hand on top of his, helping to stroke him through his orgasm.

A few minutes later, Reid opens his eyes in time to see a naked Luke stepping out of his pants and then pouncing on the bed.  A huge smile graces his face, but his eyes are dark.  He kisses his way down Reid's body, tugging at his undone jeans.  "Let's do it again."

Reid pulled on a pair of sleep pants and opened his bedroom door.  He almost bumped into Katie in the dark hallway.

"Who could be here at this hour?" Katie asked, flipping on the hall light.

"Let me get it," Reid said, stepping around Katie, "just in case.  Go back in your room with Jake."

Reid walked to the door and asked.  "Who is it?"

"It's me."

Luke.  Reid's heart jumped in his chest, and his stomach rolled.  What the hell was he doing there?  Reid hadn't spoken to him outside of neuro wing business except maybe twice in the last four or more months, since Luke had returned to his relationship with Noah, telling Reid that he was attracted him but that he was still in love with Noah.  Reid accepted it.  He wasn't going to beg.  If Luke couldn't see how dysfunctional his relationship was with the formerly blind barrista, that was his problem.  Reid would be fine.  And he was.  Most of the time.

Reid pulled the door open and looked at a very tired-looking Luke.  He didn't say anything, giving Luke the opportunity to speak first.  After a few moments, Luke said, "Hey," but his eyes darted away from Reid.

"What are you doing here?" Reid asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"I...." Luke began but then just shook his head.

Reid observed that he looked fairly well wrecked, unshaven with dark circles under his eyes, and as angry and then apathetic as he'd felt toward Luke in the last few months, the doctor in him couldn't help but be concerned.  "Are you okay?" he asked, stepping closer to Luke.  "You look terrible."

Luke huffed out a half-hearted chuckle.  "Thanks, Doc," but then he shook his head and Reid could see the tears in his eyes.  He looked off to the side and said, "I didn't know where else to go."  He tried to take a step backward, but Reid stepped forward further and put his hand on Luke's arm to stop him.

"Okay," Reid said gently, surprised at feeling an overwhelming desire to protect Luke.  "Okay.  You're here.  Talk to me."

Luke tried to speak, but he looked uncertain, and Reid saw his lip wobble, so he dropped his hand to Luke's and squeezed it.  "Hey, you're safe here, okay?  Talk to me, Luke.  What happened?"

Luke wiped at his eye.  "I've been drinking."  Reid nodded but didn't say anything.  "Not tonight, but lately."  Luke closed his eyes.  "I want to drink so bad right now."  A sob escaped his throat.  "I'm sorry, Reid....I'm so sorry..."

"Hey, hey," Reid said putting his arm around Luke's shoulder and pulling him into an embrace.  "Hey, now...you're okay.  I've got you, alright?"

Luke shook his head and pushed at Reid's chest.  "No, no, no....I don't deserve your help.  I'm sorry, Reid........I can't........I'm just so sorry."

Reid put his hand on the back of Luke's head and held him tighter,until he felt Luke stop fighting the embrace.  He then pulled back and took Luke's face in his hands.  "Hey, I don't care about that.  It doesn't matter right now, alright?  Please, let me help you.  I care about you, Luke.  Okay?"  Luke nodded.  "Tell me what you need."  Luke shook his head.  "Okay, listen, you're here, tell me what you were hoping for by coming here.  Anything, Luke."

Luke clung to Reid, the pads of his fingers, digging into the muscles in Reid's back.  "This," Luke said, his tears warm on Reid's shoulder.  "Please, Reid...just this."

"You've got it," Reid said, stepping backward and pulling Luke with him, closing the door, and holding Luke tightly.  He hugged Luke for a good number of minutes, running his hands soothingly over his back and shoulders, kissing the side of his head, speaking words of comfort against his ear.  He didn't ask him anymore questions, knowing that if Luke wanted to talk he would.  Right then, he knew that Luke just needed a safe place.  He needed someone who wouldn't berate him or tell him all that he was doing wrong.  He didn't need someone being overprotective or telling him how reckless he was being with his precious life.  Reid instinctively knew that what Luke needed at that point was refuge in the arms of someone who cared about  him.  In a strange way, Reid was grateful that in a time of desperation, Luke reached out to him.  Yeah, maybe that was a little messed up in it's own way, but in that moment Reid didn't care.

After a few minutes, Reid pulled back and wiped at the tears on Luke's cheeks.  "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

Luke sniffed and looked off to the side.

Reid smiled and thumbed Luke's chin.  "I don't mean that......well, unless you want to." He waggled his eyebrows. ;  That got a small smile out of Luke and he rolled his eyes.  "I'm kidding, Mr. Snyder.  But it's nearly two o'clock, and you look tired, and I know I'm tired, so do you want to stay here or not?  And just so you know, I'm not letting you leave in this state, so you might as well just say, 'yes,' so that we can go to sleep, rather than staying up and arguing about it."

Luke nodded.  "Yes.  Thanks, Reid."

"Anything for you," Reid answered, and God help him, he meant it.  He leaned forward and gently kissed Luke on the lips.  "I just want you to be okay."  Luke looked like he might start crying again, so Reid took him by the hand and led him to his room.

Once Luke had changed into a pair of Reid's sleep pants, he laid down in the bed.  Reid could tell that Luke felt awkward lying next to him, so he pulled the sheet up over both of them, put his arm around Luke, and spooned up behind him, his nose pressed against the back of Luke's neck.  "Relax, okay?"  Luke nodded, and Reid felt Luke's body ease back into his embrace.  "I'm glad you came here," Reid said.

"Me too."  Luke's voice cracked.

Reid's arm tightened around Luke's waist, drawing him closer.  "We'll talk more in the morning, if you're ready."

Luke nodded, and both men fell silent, sleep easily overtaking them.

"I'll give you some time alone," Bob said, as he left Luke and Reid sitting together in his office.

Luke stared at the paper in his hands before looking up at Reid with tears in his eyes.  "I'm sorry, Reid..."

Reid got out of his chair and knelt in front of a seated Luke.  He took the piece of paper out of Luke's grasp and then held his hands, rubbing his thumbs over Luke's knuckles.  "What are you talking about?"

"It's not fair."

"It's biology," Reid said chuckling, his eyes bright.

"I want him to be both of ours."

Reid held Luke's face in his hands and kissed him gently.  "He is both of ours."

"Cut the crap, Reid...you know what I mean.  How are you so okay with this?"

"Because it's not a surprise.  I've always known.  I knew the day he was born."

"How?" Luke asked, wiping at his eyes.

"I don't know...I just did, and as he's grown, it is more and more evident to me.  He looks just like you."

"But he has your blue eyes, and he's stubborn, and he's so smart, and I just hoped..."

"You hoped that I was his biological father?" Reid asked, standing and pulling Luke to his feet.

"Yeah."

Reid smiled and cupped Luke's cheek.  "Then you should be able to understand why I'm thrilled that you my baby daddy."

Luke put his hand over his mouth, surprised by the laughter that bubbled up in his chest.  "Oh my God, Reid..."

Reid kissed Luke.  "You're beautiful and kind, and you're the father of my child.  How can I not be happy about that?"

"And you're the father of my child," Luke said, "in every way that matters."

Reid pulled Luke into his arms.  "The DNA results change nothing.  Okay?"  Luke nodded and hugged Reid tightly.  "It's almost 2:00.  How about we go pick our son up from school and take him out for ice cream at Sully's?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Luke said, "I love you so much, Reid."

"I love you too."

"Oh my God, there's Noah," Casey said, ducking behind his laptop and opening a menu.  "Hide."

Allison lowered her head down behind the menu, as they sat in the far corner of Java.  "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Casey whispered.  "Things are just so weird since Luke broke up with Noah.  He's pissed off about Dr. Oliver dating Luke, and lately anytime I see him, he trash talks Luke, says he doesn't know what Dr. Oliver sees in him.  It makes me uncomfortable."

Allison watched Noah sit down with his cup of coffee.  "He's leaving for California soon.  Don't you think we should spend as much time with him as we can?"

Casey sighed and started to stand up, but then he saw Dr. Oliver walk in the door and hid behind his computer again.  "Oh, damn.  The shit's gonna hit the fan."

He and Allison watched Reid walk over to Noah, who saw the doctor and sighed with irritation.  "How's the eyesight?" Reid asked.

"Fine," Noah answered tightly.

"No hazing?  Everything's in focus?"

"Twenty-twenty."

"No headaches?  Dizziness?"

"I'm A-ok, doc, I made a full recovery."

"When are you heading out to LA?" Reid asked.

Noah smiled smugly.  "Don't worry, I'll be out of Luke's life by the end of the week."

"That's not the reason I asked the question," Reid replied, looking down.

Noah made a face and stood up.  "Whatever you say..."  He walked over to the refill counter.

"I want to give you the name of one of my colleagues out there," Reid said, following Noah, "Not that I'm expecting you to have any problems, given the stellar job I did on you."

Noah turned around, a smile of derision on his face.  "Oh, you are far too modest, you know that?"

Reid sucked in what seemed like an equally irritated breath and grabbed a napkin off the table.  He took a pen from his pocket.  "You'll need regular checkups so..."  He scribbled on the napkin. "...Dr. Cullen McNaughlty at Cedar Sinai.  He'll take good care of you."

Noah leaned against the counter.  "There's another doctor out there that you trust and respect?  I'm shocked."

"He's not as brilliant as I am," Reid offered.  Allison rolled her eyes. Noah smiled in disbelief.  "But, ya know, he's close.  I'll tell him to expect your call."  He held the napkin out to Noah.

Noah looked at the napkin in Reid's hand.  "Thanks, but I can find my own doctor."  He walked past Reid and slapped him on the shoulder.  "Jeeze," Casey said softly.  "You think he'd be a little nicer to the guy who gave him his sight back, even if he is boning his ex, huh?"

"Gross," Allison replied.

Reid turned around.  "I put a lot of skill and effort into fixing you, Noah."

"Yeah, and you never fail to hesitate to remind me or anybody else."

"Don't compromise your health just because you're ticked off at me for..."  Reid trailed off and shook his head.

Just then, Luke walked into the coffee shop.  "Oh, shit," Casey muttered.

"Yeah?  What?  Go ahead, say it.  Stealing my boyfriend?"

Luke stepped forward.  "Hey, guys," he said tentatively and then acknowledged, "This is awkward."  He looked away, like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Noah walked toward Luke, putting his coffee cup down on the table.  "Oh, hey, Luke, no.  Nothing bad's happening," he said, the sarcasm evident in his voice.  "Reid and I were just balancing the books."

Casey watched Luke give Reid a curious look.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Reid is passing along a neurologist friend in LA, and I'm passing along.........you."  Noah turned around and said, "So, we're square now, right, doc?"  He slapped Reid rather hard on the shoulder again.  "Oh my God, what a dick.  See how he's acting, Ally?"

Luke watched Noah leave the coffee shop and then turned to Reid and looked at him accusingly.  "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing!" Reid said defensively.  "I gave him the name of a colleague of mine in LA.  He went all emotional on me."  He grimmaced. Ally chuckled softly.

"Why?" Luke asked.  Casey wondered why Luke looked like he didn't believe Reid.

"I don't know," Reid answered, sounding slightly irritated.  "I heal brains; I don't read them."

"Well, I have to go after him," Luke said, making to leave the coffee shop.

"Suit yourself," Reid replied.

Luke turned back around, a playful smile on his face. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not," Reid said.  Casey believed him. "Noah needs to stand on his own two feet.  He can't do that if you keep coddling him."

"He's going away.  I don't know when I'm going to see him again.  I don't want him to leave like this."

"Do what you have to do," Reid replied, and Casey could tell that he meant it. "I have to get to the hospital."

Luke's eyes ran down Reid's body and he smiled slightly.  "Well, I'll meet up with you there."  They made eye contact.  "Thanks for understanding."

Reid watched Luke walk out the door, his eyes settling on Luke's ass.  Suddenly, Luke turned back around and strided toward him.  Reid opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Luke's hand was on the back of his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss.  Allison squeaked and put her hand over her mouth.  Casey chuckled awkwardly, as he watched Reid's hands go to Luke's hips.

After a few moments the barrista cleared her throat and said, "Hey guys, that's hot, but it's not even noon, and..."

Luke and Reid broke apart, but then Luke went in for another peck.  "Yeah," Casey said out loud, closing his laptop and knocking over the menu.  "Get a damn room already."  Ally whistled and smiled broadly at the two men.

Luke smiled back and shook his head in good nature at his friends before thumbing Reid's chin.  "I'm serious.  Thanks for being cool about this.  I'm gonna go catch up with him, okay?"  Reid nodded.  Luke kissed him on the cheek.  "I'll see you in a little while."  He turned to Casey and Ally and waved.  "See you later, guys."

As Reid watched Luke walk out the door, Casey called out, "Hey, Dr. Oliver...get a coffee and come sit with us.  If you're dating my best friend, we need to get to know each other better."

Reid rolled his eyes but then smiled before nodding to the barrista.